


In the Company of Men

by tejas



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, First Time, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Plotty, Quantum Mirror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-10
Updated: 2010-05-14
Packaged: 2017-10-09 09:34:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 179,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tejas/pseuds/tejas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a very divergent universe, Nirrti wreaked drastic changes on Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Daniel leaned back in his chair, rubbed his eyes and tried to will away his headache. The bright morning sun streaming through the wide windows stabbed into his head like hot knives. The shadow cast by the stone ring standing in his garden wasn't enough to ease the brilliance.

He tossed his glasses onto the cluttered desk. They teetered for a moment on the edge of a stack of yellowed computer printouts before sliding slowly down between the stack and a copy of Elston's Book of the Dead. He wasn't using that for his research, but more for the pleasure of having an old friend always in sight. A comfort in a world with fewer comforts than he'd expected. His glasses didn't seem to help much these days anyway, but the odds of being able to get a stronger pair weren't looking good. The glassmakers hadn't been able to work them into their schedule the last time he'd asked and he doubted their production line was in any better shape now. Still, he'd ask again. He was close to finding out what they needed, what _he_ needed, to know, but he needed to be able to work for longer stretches and that was getting to be impossible. Other... duties aside, the almost constant eye strain coupled with the resulting headaches kept his research confined to only a few hours a day. He couldn't even take a painkiller since it interacted poorly with what he'd already had to take this morning.

Duty. Daniel grimaced at the thought of his afternoon's 'schedule'. He had three 'appointments' scheduled and would most likely be unfit for anything else afterward. He never had been before and there was no reason to think today would be any different. It didn't matter that it was killing him by inches. He had his duty. Duty to his family. Duty to his House. Duty to his world. He didn't have the luxury of having any duty to himself. Daniel flung himself out of his chair and angrily paced his office, letting the rage always simmering deep inside surface. He had to burn some of it off before the afternoon. It wasn't their fault and he'd be damned before he'd approach them with less than tenderness. They deserved it. None of them had asked for this... this _abomination_ that had been forced on them.

"Niriti!" Daniel growled the name of the source of his rage as he picked up the small statue of her that sat on his desk. He hefted it wishing for the thousandth time it was the neck of his long-dead antagonist so he could crush it himself.

"Go ahead. Throw it. Might make you feel better." Daniel whirled in place to see his First Consort leaning carefully on the now open door of his office. "I never have understood why you keep it. It just keeps pissing you off."

Daniel closed his eyes, swallowed then took a deep breath and then another in an almost successful attempt to calm himself. "It helps keep me focused. I want to make sure I know exactly where my anger should be directed." With studied calm, Daniel walked to his desk and carefully set the statue back in its place.

His Consort nodded. This was an old conversation. "You don't want any of this to spill over onto those youngsters this afternoon."

Daniel turned his back on the doorway and leaned heavily over his desk listening to the slow footsteps approaching. "I can't do this any more, love. It's killing me. God! You must hate me. How can you bear to be in the same room with me?"

With an ill-concealed grunt, his Consort sat heavily on the edge of the desk next to where Daniel stood. "As to how I can bear to be in the same room with you, and that's a lousy pun, by the way, it's easy. I love you. Which also deals with the next part. Since I love you, it's obvious I don't hate you. What's more, I don't think I ever _could_ hate you." Daniel started to speak, but a raised finger stopped him. "Let me finish, love." The finger lowered and a strong hand rested gently on Daniel's curved back before beginning a soothing massage. "Yes, I know what this is doing to you. I see it every damned time and it kills a little bit of me, too, since I can't do anything to protect you from it."

Daniel let the soft words wash over him and felt the rage loosen its grip just a little. Just like always. Someone forgave him his crimes, though no one but him seemed to see them as such. He could see them as nothing else.

"And, finally," the soft voice continued, "Yes, you can do it. Just like I do what I have to. What we all have to. This isn't the world we wanted, but it's the one we've got." Daniel finally looked up and met the warm brown eyes looking at him with such tenderness. The same tenderness he needed to find in himself and use on others.

"I don't deserve you, you know." A small smile threatened to emerge and he tried to let it. Maybe it would stifle the tears he felt building. The medicine always put him on an emotional rollercoaster for the first few hours. It would settle by the time he needed it to.

"Actually, I think you do deserve me." Warm arms pulled Daniel into a much-needed embrace. "After all, you're the heir to the House of Jackson, one of the few fertile men in this district..."

"A _stallion._" Daniel spat the hated epithet out.

"Well, if you mean hung like a horse, you'll get no argument from me, but as I was saying. You're all mine." Daniel pulled his love as close as he could and ran his free hand over the swollen belly keeping them from the kind of embrace he wanted.

"Not all yours, love. In a few hours I have to go..." Daniel couldn't get the rest of the sentence past the lump in his throat.

"You have to go and do your part to try and keep our species from dying out. Just as I do my part." Daniel tensed and then cursed himself silently for it. "I know, love, I know I've only had to do it six times and then only with the man I love." Daniel smiled at the declaration and softly kissed the beloved face before him. "You've had to be with more partners than you can probably remember and you always think I'm going to hate you for it."

Daniel hid his face against the shoulder nearest him and nodded in response.

"What you don't seem to ever remember is that the parts of you that matter most to me _are_ all mine." Gentle fingers at his chin raised Daniel's head so he was looking once more into those beloved brown eyes. A nod of the head indicated the statue of Niriti. "Your body now belongs to humanity, but you only truly share your heart and soul with me."

Daniel felt the last of his earlier rage recede as a calm began to descend on his heart and mind. He knew it was in part due to the progress of the drug that would allow him to 'perform' properly in a few hours, but mostly it was due to the one in his arms right now. Daniel felt a chuckle bubble up from somewhere, "Humanity? That's a little..." his head shook slightly from side to side as he searched for the right word.

"Eloquent?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of pompous."

"Hey, I'm pregnant. The baby ate my brain."

Daniel smiled as he kissed his love. "Ah, my mistake. I can see how that could be a problem."

"Oh, you have _no_ idea. At least in a few weeks you get to hold him."

"I can't wait. Who knows, maybe this time..." Daniel let the sentence trail off. Neither wanted to voice the hope of every couple since the world they'd known ended. _We really are a superstitious race_, Daniel thought to himself. No one would wish for a girl out loud as if it would curse them. They'd been luckier than most, if it could be called luck to have two daughters born alive only to die within days. Their sons, their beautiful sons, survived, but there were only a handful of girl children in the world. None of them theirs.

Daniel held his love as close as he could and tried to pour all his love into their kiss. He tucked his love's head onto his shoulder and rubbed the tense back as if apologizing for what he'd almost said. "I love you, Jonathan. Never forget that I love you." The old conversation ended as it always did and Daniel knew he would do his duty as he always has. His eyes roamed his office barely seeing the clutter of artifacts and books, everything he could get of what had been found after Niriti died and her army left, until he got to the shrouded item in the corner. Yes, he would do his duty, no matter the cost.

He used to keep it uncovered, fascinated by the image of this same office it reflected, no, he corrected himself, projected. Until the day he looked more closely and realized that one of the windows in what he now knew was another room entirely was broken and there were leaves gathering on the floor. He'd never yet seen any people in it, which was eerie enough when he was standing in front of it, and thought it just an odd mirror. He'd ordered storm shutters installed on all the windows in the house that day. He'd tried to get someone to come look at the mirror like artifact, but with only half the population left alive everyone with any scientific bent was dedicated solely to solving the problem of simply surviving. He and a handful of others were the only ones trying to delve into the whys and wherefores of what had happened. Somehow he knew the room he saw was somewhere else and it belonged to another Daniel Jackson. A Daniel who made, or had made for him, different choices, choices that left his home empty and possibly his entire world. Perhaps he would remove the dark cloth covering the mirror one day and see what time had brought to that other place. But not today. For now, he couldn't bear the thought of a world without his love, his sons, himself.

Daniel pulled away just enough to kiss his Consort, no, his husband. The others were Consorts, men he'd married and given sons according to the new laws. He felt affection for them, but not love, not the love he felt for the man in his arms. As hard as it was to bring other men into his household it was easier than the parade of strangers brought to him to... service.

"Time to go?" Jonathan's hand cradled his face and Daniel nuzzled into it, grateful for the comfort offered.

"Yes, the first one... Jeffery, will be here in a bit. I need to get ready."

"Take off. I'll have dinner brought to our room when you're done."

Daniel gave him a quick smile, a last hug and then strode off to do his duty with the haunting image of leaves blowing across his office floor still in his mind.

* * *

Jonathan awoke with a start. It was late. The bedroom was draped in late afternoon shadows. The fire was low, but the evening chill hadn't settled in yet. The barest hint of a spicy scent lingered in the air. He smiled when he realized someone must have come in while he slept and lit a bit of the incense he loved. Jonathan had been very tired when he laid down for his nap, but he didn't think that had been there then. _Bet it was Ian_, he thought to himself then sighed and stretched a bit. Since the miscarriage, Ian had taken it upon himself to baby Jonathan, at least when Daniel wasn't. It was Ian's way of coping, certainly better than Jonathan's coping mechanism. Putting his fist through walls wasn't particularly useful even if it _was_ momentarily satisfying. He shut down that train of thought with practiced ease and stretched, thinking instead how nice it would be to lie there in the soft bed and drift back to sleep, but it was getting late. He just hoped he didn't look as exhausted as he felt.

Jonathan listened to the steady tick-tock from the antique timepiece on the mantel. Too dark to see the face of his grandmother's clock he wished it would chime so he wouldn't have to move to see the time. The clock was one of a few treasured items left from his family. He grinned as a forgotten memory rose to the surface. He'd been so embarrassed to take his new lover home with him that first time. He'd never had problems introducing lovers to his family before, but he'd never been with someone so far out of his league. It had taken a while for it to sink in that Daniel wasn't just slumming or that he'd picked Jonathan specifically to annoy the elder Jackson. Daniel had noticed the clock almost immediately and his sincere appreciation of the beautiful piece had broken the ice. Bit by bit, Jonathan's family had finally accepted him as one of their own. When his mother died, he found that the clock had been left to them. He felt his eyes tear up a bit and silently cursed the hormones of late pregnancy. He was glad she'd died before the plague, but he still missed her. From time to time he wondered what she'd think of all this. Her son, her grandchildren. She'd always wanted grandchildren. He ran his hands over his belly and wondered what their boys were up to with their grandfather Jackson. He hoped the old man was making time for them.

The quiet clink of silver on porcelain from the sitting room made the clock redundant. It was _very_ late. Beecham was setting their table for the quiet dinner he'd ordered for Daniel and himself. He took what passed for a deep breath these days, and began the laborious process of getting out of bed. Horizontal was what he wanted, but vertical was what he needed. It was just so damned hard these days. But he wanted to be up and about before Daniel got back.

Beecham greeted him in his quiet, formal way when Jonathan finally emerged from the bedroom, "Good evening, sir. May I get you something or call one of the other Gentlemen?"

Poor Beecham. He was of the old school and while he adapted to anything thrown at him, his training had never prepared him for serving in a home where the Lord of the Manor had three Consorts and all of them male. Having apparently picked up on Daniel's distaste for the word, Beecham always referred to his Lordship's Consorts as "the Gentlemen", at least among the household. Jonathan used to have to fight back a laugh every time he heard it but over the years he'd gotten used to it. It was a very small strangeness in an incredibly strange world.

"No, thank you, Beecham, I'm fine." Jonathan wandered to one of the floor to ceiling windows and twitched back the dark heavy drapes enough to stare into the gathering darkness.

"Very good, sir. If there's nothing else, I'll return with dinner when his Lordship's guest departs." Jonathan allowed a quirk of his lips at the almost imperceptible pause before the word "guest". _Good ol' Beecham, this is almost as hard for you, in its own way, as it is for him... for us_.

He let the drapes fall and turned back to the servant. He didn't think he'd ever get the hang of giving orders without looking at the person involved. "That will be fine, Beecham. Thank you." Jonathan watched the older man leave and then found himself alone with his thoughts again. He fussed with the place settings and wished, for the thousandth time since he'd gotten pregnant, for just one beer. He found himself moving things, making noise just to break the silence. Their suite was isolated from the rest of the household and it was easy to imagine there was no one else around. There was just the creak of an old house settling, the clock, the small sounds of the curtains in the breeze, the occasional birdsong. It was their refuge. Daniel's refuge. Even their sons' rooms were on the other end of the long hallway. Once the baby came, the silence would be a distant memory for a while. Jonathan could do with something, anything to break it at the moment. He was usually atypically calm during pregnancy, but not today. He'd seen something earlier, something he should report to Daniel. Something he couldn't, in good conscience, lay in his lap today. Jonathan knew he'd eventually tell him all about it, but not for a bit. He didn't want to think about it at all and toyed with the idea of just forgetting it. Chalk it up to a pregnant man's fantasies and ignore it. He wouldn't, but it was a nice thought for the moment.

Daniel was due back so he busied himself with trivialities in a vain attempt to stop worrying about what the night would bring. Daniel was strong, but days like today left him depressed and emotionally brittle. Once he came down off the fertility drug, he'd need contact. During the process, it was like walking through a minefield. Jonathan gasped and stiffened as the baby turned head butting his lungs in the process.

"Kinda restless today, huh, kiddo? Me, too." He continued to rub his swollen abdomen and relaxed as the baby inside turned again to follow the movement. That was probably the coolest thing about being pregnant. Something he'd never expected. Not that he'd ever, in his wildest dreams expected to be pregnant. What man had? When he'd first been selected as a likely candidate for the procedure, Jonathan had been horrified. Paternal gestation they called it. He'd already been reeling with the discovery that he was one of the hundreds of millions of men left sterile by Compton's virus. His problems didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. Women, regardless of age, had had it even worse. Janis Compton's discovery of the nature of the virus had been her last discovery before succumbing like every other human female on the planet. What a horrible thing to be famous for. His selection seemed like the final in a long series of insults. That someone had engineered a plague to kill the human race in such a vicious fashion seemed impossible, but there it was. And, so, here he was. At the beginning, after he'd finally agreed to go through with it, Daniel had teased him about being the mother of his race. Jonathan smiled at the memory. Daniel had been so young then. In darker moments, Jonathan privately decided that Daniel was aging in dog years. A quick smile flickered across his face. It didn't reach his eyes. Not a thought he'd ever share with his husband.

Husband. That's another impossibility he'd had to get used to. Being attracted to men wasn't new, but it's amazing how a plague followed by an alien invasion, however brief, can change what people consider important enough to worry about. _And here I'd thought I'd never be a father_. Jonathan chuckled at the irony and the baby kicked in response.

"Sorry 'bout that, kiddo. Can't wait for you to meet your Dad, though, you're getting heavy." The doctor would be by in the morning to check his progress and look in on Ian. He figured he had another few weeks yet, though according to Jose's baby pool most of the household thought it would be sooner. His... he never was quite sure what to call Jose and Ian. Nicholas and Patrick called them uncle and their sons called him the same. Officially, they were Daniel's Consorts, sort of co-husbands, though that term was frowned on in Daniel's class. Privately, they thought of themselves as brothers-in-law. It was more familiar, more comfortable. Though Jose and Ian were closer than any brothers-in-law Jonathan had ever known. He smiled. He and Daniel had skirted the edge of polite society before things went to hell, why should now be any different. Daniel didn't mind and subtly encouraged their private arrangements. He'd never said, but Jonathan figured it explained why he'd been so steadfast in his refusal to take on any more Consorts. There were rumors about how other heads of household dealt with their Consorts, especially those who used the fertility drugs full time. It was hard to tell how much was rumor and how much was fact, but if Daniel thought seven sons between them in six years were plenty, none of his "Gentlemen" would argue the point. The four of them had worked things out in what might otherwise be an intolerable situation. Daniel, hell, none of them, wanted to rock the boat. But the fallout, coupled with Daniel's innate sense of fairness, was more days like today than most men in Daniel's position had to put up with. Jonathan sighed and started to rearrange the sideboard to avoid the inevitable guilt that thought brought. The additional thought of Beecham exuding polite disapproval when he returned brought his hands back to his sides. Instead he settled heavily in an armchair with his feet up, wishing, again, for a beer.

A short while later, the clock chimed the half-hour and started Jonathan out of the light doze he'd achieved. Dozing beat worrying about the night to come and the conversation he needed to initiate eventually. At least the exhaustion was proving stronger than the tension. Almost immediately came Beecham's soft, distinctive knock on the door. The mouth-watering aroma of roast chicken preceded both cart and man and set Jonathan's stomach rumbling. Make that exhaustion with a side order of hunger over tension.

"His Lordship will join you momentarily, sir."

"Thank you, Beecham." Jonathan watched the man set out covered dishes on the sideboard and couldn't help but hope Daniel showed up before dinner got cold. Beecham finished his task and set the cart out of the way as usual.

"Does sir require anything else?" Before Jonathan could answer, the door flew open and Daniel breezed into the room, heading straight for Jonathan.

"That will be all, Beecham." Daniel's voice was steady and controlled, "You can clear away in the morning." A soft seductive smile on his face, he knelt next to Jonathan's chair, taking one of his husband's hands in his own, the other caressed Jonathan's distended belly through his loose shirt. Daniel's excited, overly bright eyes never left Jonathan's as he continued, "Please inform Ian and Jose that we will not be joining them for breakfast." Jonathan lifted his eyebrows in a silent question. They always had breakfast together as a family, even the children. Given their various duties to the household and the town, it was the only meal of the day when everyone who was in town was guaranteed to be home.

"Very good, your Lordship. If there's nothing else, I'll wish you both good evening."

"Thank you, Beecham." Jonathan spoke only to the older man's back as he closed the door.

Daniel gave up Jonathan's hand in favor of running his hand through his love's hair then pulling him in for a deep, passionate kiss. Jonathan's arms automatically embraced the other man. The position made it somewhat awkward, but not awkward enough to miss the shivers running through his husband. Daniel didn't seem to notice as he all but devoured the man now in his arms.

"God, love, I missed you today." Jonathan nuzzled the other man's neck and felt a moment's hope that maybe this evening wouldn't be so bad. It seemed the drugs had already started to wear off. "You would have been so proud of me, today."

"I'm always proud of you, Daniel. You're incredible." Hope died quickly.

"I need you, babe. I need you so bad." Daniel stood gracefully then helped Jonathan out of his chair and more securely into his arms. "Want to touch you." Daniel's hands slipped under the loose shirt to roam harshly over Jonathan's upper body, kissing and nibbling a little too roughly along his face and neck and moaning deep in his throat. "Need to taste you. Need to feel you under me, around me. Need to bury myself in your sweet body." Daniel's voice rumbled in his chest and despite the rougher than usual treatment, Jonathan couldn't have stopped his body from responding even if he'd wanted to. They enjoyed roughhousing on occasion, but this wasn't the time. Not with the baby so near _ his_ time.

Jonathan ran a hand through Daniel's silky hair and nuzzled his cheek, "Soon love, soon."

"Tonight, baby. Gonna make love to you all night long." Daniel's hand slid down inside the loose pants over Jonathan's belly until he touched the hard cock underneath. He licked Jonathan's ear as he pulled on his cock whispering. "Gonna make you come so hard, so good, then gonna bury myself balls deep and never come out." Jonathan swallowed hard and started to push away from the too rough hands on him.

"Daniel, wait. We can't. You know..."

Daniel's impatient growl interrupted him as he pulled him closer, "_Yes! You're mine_ and I'll have you when and how I want!" He latched onto Jonathan's neck, biting him painfully, apparently marking his territory.

"Stop!" Grasping hands released him and Jonathan staggered back a step, nearly stumbling over the chair he'd been sitting in. He put his hand to his neck and then saw Daniel's face. All traces of arousal gone, Daniel was panting and sweating. His eyes were wide with fear and there was a smear of blood on his lips. Jonathan looked at his hand and swore. He dabbed the spot again, fortunately it didn't seem to be bleeding too badly. Damn, how much had the man taken today.

"Oh, god. Oh, god. I hurt you. Oh, god, love, I hurt you." Daniel backed away scrubbing at his mouth and babbling. "I'm sorry, so sorry. I hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Daniel, love, it's okay. See, it's stopped." Jonathan approached him slowly and reached out to hold him. "It was an accident. It's okay, love."

"No, no, no." Jonathan stopped and watched Daniel back away from him, shaking his head and trembling. "It's not okay. I hurt you, that's _never_ okay!" Daniel shouted. He'd stopped backing up and Jonathan could see the rage building. "Get _away_ from me! You know better than to come near me! How stupid are you? Why are you even here!" Daniel all but ran to the door and threw it open, gesturing angrily and shouting. "Get out! Get the hell out of here! I don't want you here!"

Jonathan stood his ground. This was worse than usual, but they'd been doing this dance far too long for him not to know all the steps. He just had to be sure to be out of reach during the rages. Ordinarily, he could handle anything the other man threw at him, but he wasn't quite at his best at the moment. He didn't really think Daniel would hurt him or the baby, but other man was clearly not himself and it wouldn't hurt to be cautious. He took a deep breath and spoke, keeping his voice calm and even. "Why don't you close the door and join me for dinner, love?" He stepped over to the sideboard as he spoke and calmly started taking covers off the dishes.

"Fuck you! Oh, wait. I can't, can I!" Daniel slammed the door and Jonathan relaxed a little. First hurdle over. He proceeded to ignore the angry muttering behind him, just making sure he was aware of the other man's location. Daniel often ordered him out of the room when he was like this, but Jonathan prided himself on never leaving. The counselors had taken them through this and as out of control as Daniel seemed right now, he'd always said he knew Jonathan would never go. It would be dangerous for him to be alone through this. If Jack had to be away on Council business, Ian or Jose, or both of them, could step in, but neither Daniel nor Jonathan wanted that. The other two men didn't have the same history with Daniel and Jonathan knew he feared screwing up his relationship with them if they had to bear the brunt of his "chemically induced psychosis" as he called it. This was why some men stayed on the drugs constantly. Smaller doses, over time achieved the same results, but Daniel hated the thought of being dependent on them. He also had a great deal more control that other men. For some, it meant preventing a murder.

Jonathan filled plates for the two of them, certain that Daniel hadn't eaten this afternoon. He probably wouldn't be able to finish everything on his own plate, but damn, not even the gut wrenching tension of the evening could compete with late pregnancy hunger. He hoped he could get through the night without monster heartburn. A chair scraped loudly over the polished wood floor behind him and he turned as Daniel dropped heavily into it. He sat sprawled by the table drumming his fingers impatiently. Jonathan ignored the glower and continued muttering and placed the plate on the table in front of the man who apparently considered himself Lord and Master. Lord he could accept as an accident of birth, but Master was another matter. Taking his own seat, he started to eat and waited for the next move in their dance. He already knew it would end in their bed with Daniel sobbing in his arms and pleading for forgiveness. Jonathan always told him there was nothing to forgive. This was a temporary aberration. It would pass. He only wished Daniel could bring himself to believe that.

* * *

After a long morning doing battle with his inbox, Jack O'Neill was a man with a mission. He strode down the corridors of the SGC with personnel scattering before him. He had one thought on his mind. Lunch. He was, ordinarily, a brave man, but the thought of facing that particular ordeal on his own was enough to make him toy with the idea of diving right into the Quarterly Projected Resource Allocations for Research and Development. All three volumes of it. On second thought, he'd decided he'd go into this battle as he had many others, with his team at his back. Jack doubted even Teal'c could save him from the special of the day, but, hey, misery loves company.

"Hey, kids!" Jack whipped into Carter's lab to find Daniel and Teal'c facing away from the door and standing on either side of Carter, looking over her shoulder at something.

"Oh, hey, Jack." Daniel turned nervously around to face Jack while the other two offered their own greetings without turning around, which was fine with Jack. If Carter was in the middle of something that might go boom, he didn't want to know. Daniel walked closer to Jack and started to lean against the worktable, then changed his mind and shoved his hands in his pockets. "How's things?" Jack noted the nervous body language, the too innocent expression and after applying his many years of reading people and those spent reading Daniel in particular he came to the inescapable conclusion that he was hiding something.

"Daniel?" He was sure the sound he heard wasn't Carter stifling a giggle. Majors don't giggle.

"Jack?" Ah, and there were the blinking eyes and the forced innocent expression. It was a good thing Daniel could take more punishment than half the Marines on base because he was lousy at unplanned subterfuge. It was a forgone conclusion that any System Lord worth his salt would always know right off the bat that Daniel was lying about something and whip out the ribbon device. Or maybe he just knew the man well enough to tell. No matter what, this was too much thinking after his morning with the threat of the commissary still looming before him. Talk about torture.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Oh, y'know, nothing much." Daniel kept his eyes on Jack, trying to keep Jack's eyes on him. The trick probably worked great on terrified undergrads, but no so much on Air Force Colonels. "Sam had this, uh, this thing, she wanted us to look at..." Daniel waved a hand and looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Thing? She has a thing?"

"I believe Daniel Jackson refers to the device brought back by SG11 from P4X-735. Major Carter requested our assistance in deciphering some of the markings found on the casing." Teal'c joined Daniel, completely blocking Carter from view. Pre-ascension Daniel hadn't taken up nearly that much room. The two of them formed a nice solid wall. A wall that exuded false innocence, Daniel, and placid affability, Teal'c.

"Exactly. Thank you, Teal'c." Daniel all but beamed in relief.

"Ah. Markings." Jack rocked back and forth on his heels, hands in his pockets. He figured they knew he was toying with them. That probably accounted for at least some of Daniel's nervousness. The flipside of his knowing his team so well was that they knew him just as well. Keep messing with their heads or cut to the chase. Delay the inevitable heartburn or stop his stomach from trying to digest itself. Decisions, decisions. A lifetime in the Air Force had taught him how to make decisions and threat assess. At the moment, digesting his own internal organs was a real possibility. The heartburn was at least potentially theoretical. Decision time.

"Oh, Carter." Jack smiled happily at the reaction. Daniel hung his head in defeat and Teal'c looked, well, less placid. "Whatcha got?" Daniel and Teal'c might be able to give him the run around, but rank _doth_ have its privileges.

"Sir, it's a device SG11 found on," Carter appeared next to Teal'c empty handed when Jack cut her off.

"PX-yadda. Yeah, I know. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum said that already." Daniel groaned and Jack decided to cut him a little slack. "Teal'c there's no way in hell I'm going to try and explain Lewis Carroll to a jaffa on an empty stomach."

"Indeed, O'Neill. I look forward to your explanation after you have eaten." Teal'c nodded in a way that told Jack toying with his team might not end up being as much fun as it seemed at the time. They each had their own ways of extracting revenge. Some of which included PowerPoint. What was he thinking? Of course it was fun, but the best things came a price.

"Lunch! Jack, that's a great idea!" Daniel looked like he'd just won the lottery or found the only existent copy of some book nobody ever heard of. Probably the book. "I'm hungry. Teal'c, Sam? You hungry? Why don't we..." Jack grabbed Daniel's arm as he started to pass him on his way out the door and dragged him to his side.

"So, Carter, care to show me your undoubtedly fascinating device? You know how much I just love alien tech." Fun was fun, but this was getting ridiculous. What could they possibly have that they don't want him to see?

"Of course, sir." Carter disappeared behind Teal'c then reappeared with something oddly familiar in her hands.

"Carter? Is that what I think it is?" The device looked curiously like the mirror controller, but not quite exactly. The one they _used_ to have before it was destroyed at Area 51.

"If you think it looks like the mirror controller, we agree." Jack's teammates kept glancing guiltily at each other and then looking away. Apparently the doorframe fascinated Teal'c while Daniel seemed to be divining the secrets of the universe from the concrete floor, arms wrapped around his midsection. Carter had plastered her 'nothing-to-see- here' smile on her face and kept looking back and forth between her partners in crime and the device in her hands.

"Tell me they didn't bring a mirror back, too!" Damn! As if a 'gate open to one hostile universe wasn't enough, that damn mirror opened the door to an infinite number of hostile universes. He knew how _he'd_ use it, if he were a megalomaniacal snake. Or a Destroyer of Worlds. Or any of the other power-mad aliens they'd run into over the years.

"Oh, no, sir. They didn't find a mirror, just the controller, which, if you'll notice is a little different than the one we had. If you look at this section here..." Amazing how fast Carter's mood improved when given the opportunity to confuse him. She was as bad as Daniel. He expected Teal'c to confuse him, what with being an alien and all.

"Aht! I don't want to know. As long as there's no mirror within five hundred light years of it and Earth, I'm a happy man." Jack checked the faces of his team. He didn't like what he saw. Something bigger than a new and improved controller was up. "Not a happy man?"

Carter glanced at the Tweedles and received a nod from Teal'c and a resigned shrug from Daniel. "No, sir. Not a happy man." She turned and led him to the back of her lab. There, on the floor was an open crate lying flat with something he'd never wanted to see again in it.

"That's..." Jack couldn't say it. How many times was this kind of crap going to come back to bite them in the butt?

"Yes, sir, that's the mirror we recovered from P3R-233."

"Are you _nuts_?" He couldn't believe it. "It was _supposed_ to be destroyed. Know anything about that, Carter?" She looked like a kicked puppy. He knew she wasn't involved, but damnit, she was a Major in the Air Force, his subordinate. She shouldn't be leaving him in the dark on this kind of stuff. It would do her good to sweat a bit.

"Jack! How can you think Sam would be involved in something like that?" Daniel's nervousness was gone, his protective streak rose with a vengeance in its place. Jack let his choice of words slide. They knew each other far too well.

"Daniel! It's in her lab. It's here without my knowledge. What am I _supposed_ to think!" Before Daniel could take up the challenge, Jack continued. "And don't think I've forgotten about you two." He jabbed a finger at Daniel. "_You_ know better than anyone how dangerous this thing is," then jabbed at Teal'c, "and _Teal'c_ knows better than to leave me in the dark on matters that could compromise the security of the whole damn planet!"

"Jack!" Daniel had apparently taken up the gauntlet after all. "It's done! It's here and this is important."

"It's _always_ important, Daniel! Why am I the only one freaked about this?"

"Jack, we were freaked, too." Jack recognized Daniel in the 'lets be friends and not kill each other mode' he used off world. Didn't always work there, either. "But we've had a few days to get used to the idea. Besides..." Jack cut him off.

"A few _days_? Just when _were_ you planning on telling me about this? When some snake even _worse_ than the ones we know and love decided on a little trans-dimensional conquest?" Jack knew he was beginning to rant, but the whole alternate universe thing freaked him out big time. It was too big and too uncontrollable.

"Besides," Daniel apparently decided to ignore his rant and finish what he'd tried to say earlier. "According to what Sam found out from Area 52, there's a very simple way of keeping anyone from coming through." Daniel's hopeful expression lured him in. Jack sighed. He was toast.

"Enlighten me." Carter's turn at the plate.

"Well, sir, it seems that when the NID _neglected_ to destroy the mirror," Even Teal'c raised an eyebrow at Daniel's muttered "like that's a surprise". Carter glanced at him and then continued, "They started studying it with an eye toward finding some way to secure it."

"An iris." Jack had to admit that he'd thought of that five, or was it six, years ago. Time flies.

"Right. But the material of the mirror, plus the inability to transmit through it like we can through an iris secured wormhole made that impractical if exploration teams were to be sent through." Whoa.

"The NID wanted to _explore_ alternate universes?" Everyone else looked as uncomfortable at that thought as he did.

"Yes, sir. At least according to Agent Barrett."

"Ah, yes, Agent Barrett. Handy fellow to have around." Ok, teasing was better. The NID agent's interest in his 2IC had provided _endless_ fodder for teasing over the improved relations between the SGC and the, seemingly rehabilitated NID. The warning glint in Daniel's eye urged him to stay on topic. "So, rogue trans-dimensional NID cells aside, what's this simple method of mirror protection Daniel mentioned."

"You're looking at it, sir." Carter seemed to be fighting back a smile. Daniel didn't even try to hide his grin. Even Teal'c looked less stoic than usual.

"Okay." Jack looked at the mirror. It was still in the shipping crate with the side covering the surface of the mirror removed. "I'm not seein' it, kids."

"Jack, look at it!" Excited Daniel was back. "Remember when you went through it?" Jack tried very hard to forget it, thank you very much. "If you touch it on either side, you travel into the selected universe."

Jack nodded and gave Daniel a 'get on with it' gesture. "And, so, therefore?"

"Jack! _Look_ at it!" This was starting to drive him crazy. He knew Daniel and Carter were way smarter than he was, and Teal'c was no slouch in that department, but he was starting to feel like the one kid in the class who couldn't find the pony in the tree.

"I _am_ looking at it! It's just lying on the floor of Carter's..." Oh. Oh! The others apparently understood he'd gotten it since they all relaxed and started to look somewhat smug. "So, someone tries to come through and what, they just fall back into their own universe?"

"Exactly!" Daniel has sworn he doesn't jump up and down when he's excited, but there it was again. Jack made a note to get a copy of the security footage. He was compiling a tape for future use. One day it would be very useful.

"What if they throw something at the mirror?" Gotcha. The Tweedles and Alice weren't sure about that one. "Y'know, the right angle would put it out of range of the mirror before it fell."

"O'Neill, one would merely have to keep the mirror covered or in a dark room to give a potential enemy no reason to feel the need to attack." Smug was back. There's nothing worse than a smug jaffa. Especially not one Jack couldn't, in good conscience, shoot.

"Right!" Daniel's turn. "When you're dialing the controller, there are so many options, who's going to bother with something that looks like it's at the bottom of a well?"

"Okay." Jack's admission was grudging, but he couldn't fault the logic. "It's better than nothing, but I still don't see why we should bother in the first place." Jack kicked the crate, "That thing is nothing but trouble and I can't really see Hammond authorizing us using it."

"Actually, sir, he probably wouldn't have until SG11 found this and the NID informed us of the _error_ involving the mirror." She held up the new controller. "This controller seems to be a more advanced version than the one we had."

"PIP? Last channel viewed? Parental controls?" Jack mouthed 'sorry' and shrugged at Daniel after Daniel glared at him and whacked him on the arm with the back of his hand. Sometimes things just had to be said.

"Actually, you're not far off." Carter looked like her African violet just offered to virus check her computer. "We think this has a setting that remembers the last universe visited, it also seems to access a wider range of universes than the other model."

"More channels, huh? And that gets us, what?" Jack looked expectantly at his team. The battle was well and truly lost; all that was left was damage control.

"Think about it, Jack!" Carter and Daniel were like stereo speakers with Teal'c chiming in with the bass. And he was still hungry. "The little bit of research we did only showed universes fairly similar to ours."

"Except for the whole post-apocalyptic thing they had going with the snakes." Jack hated to kill anyone's enthusiasm, but reality checks were important.

"Well, yeah, that, but," Remarkably undeterred by reality, as usual, Daniel went on. "The farther we get from our universe the less likely we are to find the same conditions that brought the Goa'uld to power in the first place. It's an opportunity to visit worlds where humans were never enslaved at all. Maybe worlds where the plague never decimated the Ancients driving them to ascend. Maybe even universes where humans never evolved, which means there's potential for permanent research settlements with no danger of cascade tremors. _Think_ of what we could _learn_!"

Okay, he had to admit, there was some good stuff there. He glanced at Teal'c and got the same look in response. Daniel and Carter were ga-ga over learning crap, as usual. Teal'c had the same concerns he did. He'd have to talk it over with Hammond. After he talked it over with Teal'c.

"I'm hungry. Let's go eat." Ah, that pulled the rug out from under them. A man can only deal with so much weirdness on an empty stomach. You'd think they'd be happy he believed them about the security thing. "C'mon." He gestured for Teal'c to precede him through the door and grabbed Daniel's arm before turning to Carter who was already in the corridor. "Carter!"

"Sir?"

Jack pointed back to her lab. "SFs. Just in case."

She didn't quite roll her eyes, but seemed to recognize the value of the idea. Or just recognized the chain of command. She turned around, smiled the same smile she used when Jacob treated her like a five-year-old and headed back to phone for a security detail. "Save me a seat!"

Daniel stopped and tried to follow Carter. Since Jack still had a handful of his shirt, that was difficult. "I'll just go wait with Sam."

"No, Daniel, you will come with us. If you go back in there with Carter, neither one of you will emerge for _hours_ and even you need to eat once a week or so." Jack kept tugging Daniel along the corridor to the elevator.

"Jack, I don't need you to..."

"Yes, you obviously do. Now stop whining and think of the gourmet delights that await you in the commissary." Jack called the elevator and waited, still retaining control of his captive. Teal'c, once again demonstrated his vast wisdom by staying out of the conflict.

"Gourmet? How about revolting." Daniel freed his arm with a jerk as he walked into the elevator. "And I don't whine!"

"Yadda, Daniel." Jack pressed the button and reflected that even going to lunch with his team was turning out to be as hazardous as going off world. He wondered if he could finagle two weeks' leave before diving into the Quarterly Projected Resource Allocations for Yadda report. Umm... maybe the mirror thing wouldn't be so bad after all. With any luck, there'd be an alien incursion and someone would torch his inbox. With that happy thought, he led his two teammates off the elevator and out to do battle with whatever was masquerading as meatloaf today.

* * *

At the sound of the heavy door opening, Daniel looked up from the books he was sorting through on the newly installed worktable. Jack's suggestion of moving the mirror to one of the isolation rooms made a great deal of sense. Especially given the older man's initial objections to the project. Jack hated what he called passive security and even Daniel had to admit this was better. Still, having to move all of their research material and equipment had been a pain. He glanced over at Sam who was still fiddling with various pieces of electronic equipment. At least all he had to deal with were some of his linguist references. She was still silently fuming over the whatever it was that ended up on the floor in more pieces than it started with.

"For the record," Jack approached the now-standing mirror and walked around it warily as if he expected it to pounce, "I still think this is _nuts_, but since the general and the Joint Chiefs disagree, who am I to argue?"

"Right, Jack. I keep forgetting. You _never_ argue with the general." Daniel watched the man watching the mirror then gestured to the P-90 on its strap around his neck as well as the duffle in his hands. "Planning a coup?"

"Just being prepared." Jack tossed a zat from the duffle to Daniel. "I know that you and Pollyanna over there seem to be of the opinion that the two of you can handle whatever comes through there with your charm and good looks, but give me a P-90 and some C4 any day." With one last look at the mirror, he pulled another zat out of his bag and gave it to Sam then turned back to Daniel, "Besides, arguing with the Joint Chiefs is a good way to find myself hip deep in Antarctica. Been there, done that. Like to avoid it again, if possible."

"You'll get no argument from me, sir." Holding her zat, she approached the two men. "Shouldn't Teal'c be here by now?"

"He told me at breakfast that he had some research he wanted to finish before we got started." Daniel frowned. "At the time I thought he meant he was going to go back over our reports, but he did that yesterday, didn't he?"

"Research, Daniel?" Jack looked dubious.

"I hope you have not been waiting long for my arrival." Teal'c entered the room with a slim leather bound book under one arm sealing the containment door behind him.

Jack nodded at the book, "Research, Teal'c?"

"Indeed, O'Neill. I have been investigating the author you mentioned some days ago. I believe reading Through the Looking Glass to be excellent preparation for our mission."

"That's _fiction_, Teal'c and damned annoying fiction at that." Jack glared at Daniel. "You _had_ to tell him about it, didn't you?"

"You were the one making Tweedle jokes, Jack." Daniel shifted from one foot to the other and wished they could just get on with it.

"Wasn't it the Taur'i philosopher Samuel Clemens who observed that truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities? Truth isn't." Teal'c looked rather pleased with himself. "Through the Looking Glass is among the strangest things I have yet read of your literature. As such, it should prove invaluable."

Jack grinned, "Your sense of humor's improving."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow in Jack's direction, "My sense of humor has never been in question, O'Neill."

Daniel faked a cough and turned away to hide his amusement. Jack was just too easy sometimes.

"Sir," Sam seemed have fought off her own grin at her commanding officer's expense, "if you're ready, we could get started now."

"Right." Jack gave Teal'c and Daniel one final glare before approaching the darkened mirror, the others followed. "So, let's go over the game plan for the day, kids. Today, we _ look_, but don't touch." He caught each of their eyes as he said that. "Right, Daniel?"

"Jack! Why do you automatically assume I'm going to be touching it?" This was getting a little old. No matter how long they did this, Jack still assumed Daniel would be the one to go off half-cocked. As if the others hadn't gotten into the same trouble over the years. "I'm not the one who got an entire library downloaded into my head."

"No, but you _are_ the one who pulled an Alice on us way back when." Jack placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder and squeezed. "I just don't want history to repeat itself, okay?"

"So the next time I find myself in the middle of a Goa'uld invasion, I shouldn't bother gathering the necessary intelligence to prevent it happening here?" Daniel regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He knew what Jack meant, but damn, why did he have to keep harping on that.

Jack shook Daniel's shoulder. "Don't do that. You know what I mean." He leaned closer and lowered his voice, "Besides, I guess I owe you for the Lewis Carroll thing with Teal'c."

Daniel nodded, a half smile on his face, "You better believe it."

"So, Carter?" Jack pulled away and rested his hand on his weapon. "Got your super- duper controller thingy?"

"Yes, sir." Sam stepped up to face the mirror.

"Let's get this show on the road, then, shall we?"

"Wait!" Daniel dashed back to the table where his materials were laid out and picked up his camcorder. "I want to be able to record the images so we can study them later."

"Good thinking, Daniel." Jack waved him up to stand next to Sam. "Whenever you're ready, Major." He took up his position next to Daniel while Teal'c stood next to Sam, weapon pointed at the floor.

"I'm starting at the point where the old controller stopped." With a click and a barely perceptible hum the mirror came to life. The first image was of a blank concrete wall bare inches from the surface of the mirror.

"So, Carter, what would happen if you tried to go through to that?" Jack appeared to be measuring the available distance between the wall and the mirror.

"Well, sir, there are two schools of thought about that." Daniel hoped she'd keep it simple. He didn't think Jack would stand for the kind of explanation she probably _ wanted_ to give. "Some think that anyone capable of building an interdimensional gateway would also be capable of building in a failsafe that would prevent travel to a place where there wasn't enough room for reintegration." Daniel thought that sounded plausible, Teal'c, as usual, seemed to be soaking it up, probably in case it had tactical value later. Jack just looked bored. "Others agree that there's probably a failsafe of some kind, but that it would remove the stress of holding a traveler in transit by simply reintegrating the parts that would fit the given space and rejecting the rest."

There was a moment of silence while Sam's information sunk in. "_Rejecting_?" Jack visibly shuddered. "That is _so_ not an image I needed." Daniel had to agree with him, there. "Next, _please_."

The next few stops were of the same wall before it changed to a storeroom. The storeroom remained for a few more stops and so on. The theory that the new controller allowed for greater granularity seemed to correct. "Sir, I can set the controller to make larger jumps. Perhaps..."

"Do it. I see enough concrete through the day without having to look at someone else's." Daniel paused his camera and checked the charge while Sam fiddled with the controller. He nodded to Sam when he was ready. She began to dial through the universes once again, pausing at each one long enough for them to get a good look and for Daniel to get a clean record of it on his camera. This time, they rarely saw the same image twice. Daniel hoped they'd be able to isolate specific groupings for more detailed study later. They still paused longer from time to time so Daniel or Teal'c could try to identify any writings they found. They could be missing quite a bit, but an overview like this was probably a good way to start. Sort of like doing a site surface survey. From a moving jeep. He shut down that memory and wondered, yet again, why anyone in their right mind would _want_ to work in Central America. He'd had nothing but trouble every time he'd been there.

Sam paused at the latest one, "Stop!" Daniel peered through the viewfinder and then paused the camera to look closer at the mirror.

"Well, that's different." Jack joined him at his position closer to the mirror.

"Indeed, O'Neill." Teal'c had also moved closer.

The room on the other side appeared to have been someone's office at one time. The corner of a desk was visible as were bookcases containing almost as many artifacts as it did books. Leaves had drifted in from outside, adding a sense of desolation to the room. What held the attention of three of them was the stargate standing in what looked like the remains of a garden clearly visible through cracked and broken windows. Daniel, however, was captivated by the large painting on display. The man in the formal portrait looked very familiar, but not quite the same as he remembered. He swallowed, realizing who it must be, but Daniel had never seen him at that age. It was like seeing a ghost.

"Daniel?" Sam's voice cut through and brought him back to the here and now. "Are you okay?"

"Umm.. Yeah, I'm umm.. I'm fine, Sam." He needed to tell them. Jack had to have all the intelligence they could gather and while he wasn't sure this would be important, still he had to tell them. To say it. It shouldn't be that hard, but it was.

"Of course you're fine, Danny boy, that's why you're white as a sheet." Jack pulled him away from the mirror and turned Daniel to face him. "I know it must be hard to see all those books sitting there unused, but c'mon, it can't be _that_ bad. Besides, I kind of like the idea of using the gate as a sundial."

"What are you talking about, Jack?" He pointed at the mirror again. Oh. Daniel hadn't noticed the gate at all. "Oh. Sorry. Didn't notice that."

"How could you _miss_ it?" Jack looked concerned. "C'mon, out with it."

"The um... the portrait on the wall." Daniel gestured vaguely toward the mirror. "I think I, um, I think I recognize the subject." _Okay_, Daniel thought, _I can do this_. Daniel looked at them each in turn and saw that Sam was peering back into the mirror. He heard her catch her breath.

"Is that," She turned back to him, eyes wide, "It is, isn't it?"

"Is _who_?" Jack was starting to sound impatient.

"I think," Daniel swallowed again. "I _think_ that's a portrait of my father."

"Daniel Jackson, how can you be certain?" Teal'c studied the mirror again. "Did your father not die when he was very young? The man in the portrait seems to be much too old."

"Apparently, he didn't... there." Now that the moment was over, Daniel started to feel more in control of himself. "My grandfather died before I was born, but I have some pictures. Dad supposedly looked a lot like him and that," he indicated the portrait with a wave of his hand, "looks similar enough, well, to be his son."

They stood in silence for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts while looking at the image provided by the mirror. Daniel had always wondered about those other universes where his life must have gone differently. It was a little disheartening to think that he had to go so far from their current reality to find one where at least his father had lived to late-middle age. He chided himself for that thought. He didn't _know_ that was the case, they had so little information about the realities they'd encountered. Perhaps his was the only one where Daniel Jackson had gotten the short end of the stick. Still, this was the first time he'd ever been faced with it so directly.

"So, Daniel," Jack got his attention, "You up for Carter resetting her doohickey and take a closer look around this spot? See what we can see?" Daniel was gratified that Jack seemed to be giving him the choice. This could be rough, but the longer he thought about it, the more curious he became.

"Are you sure, guys? I mean, I don't think this was quite what the Joint Chiefs had in mind when they authorized this." He couldn't decide if he wanted Jack to take the out or not.

"T? Carter? What do you think?" Jack turned to the jaffa.

"The fact that their stargate is located in such a place indicates it is unlikely they have had much contact with the rest of their universe. Further, had an invasion occurred, it is highly unlikely that the building we see would still be standing." Teal'c paused. "Perhaps this is one of the universes where, as Daniel Jackson has suggested, the Goa'uld never came to power at all." Daniel couldn't fault him for that thought. Whatever had caused the building to be abandoned didn't seem related to the gate. Maybe there were other versions with people still around.

"Sir, I must admit that if we're going to explore, meeting up with Daniel's counterpart would be a lot more pleasant than some others I can think of." She had her hand poised over the controller, waiting for the order to make the change.

"Uh, Sam, we don't know that my, um, my counterpart would be there." Daniel had never met himself, if he didn't count the android. It had been weird enough meeting the others.

"Still, even if it was some other member of your family..." Sam trailed off.

Daniel shrugged. "The only one I knew well at all is Nick."

"Ya gotta admit, he _was_ right. Go ahead Carter, do your stuff." Daniel nodded to Jack and then turned back to the mirror, bringing his camera up to start recording again. Yeah, he was up for this. He could do this. He realized he should have brought a tripod for the camera. The way his hands were shaking he feared the images would be next to useless.

* * *

Daniel sat at his desk and stared thoughtfully at the shrouded mirror. Ever since Jonathan had confessed what he'd seen, Daniel had had the urge to remove the cover and look into that other place. But after two days, the mirror remained hidden. It would be so easy. Just walk over and take the material in hand and pull. He'd always heeded the warning found with the object. It had warned that touching the surface could be dangerous, but didn't describe how. Or perhaps it did. There was a great deal he hadn't been able to translate yet. So little of the invader's language was as yet understood. _At least by me_, he thought. He'd always wondered a little about the origin of the technology that allowed a species of males to procreate. Had they really developed it on their own in only four years? He had his doubts, but the newly formed Grand Counsel insisted, so he kept silent. Besides, there was a certain irony in using the invaders' own technology to try and undo the damage they'd inflicted. He did think it odd that Niriti had apparently succumbed to her own weapon. There was more to it than they knew; he just wished he could find it.

Daniel shifted in his chair. Letting his mind wander wasn't dealing with the matter at hand. Four days ago, Jonathan had seen the cover on the mirror move as if blown by a breeze. Since Daniel no longer allowed the windows in his office to be opened and the mirror was out of the way of the internal ventilation system that left only one thing he could think of. Something from the other side had caused it. He'd once watched wind blow through that other room but it had no effect on anything on this side. Perhaps he was jumping to conclusions, but he couldn't help feeling that the mirror had reached some other level of activity than he was used to.

Making his decision, Daniel rose from his chair and strode to the mirror. He'd probably see nothing more than a larger accumulation of leaves on that other floor. Maybe an animal's nest or two. Disturbing, but not dangerous. He reached for the drape over the mirror as it started to move just a little. Before it stopped, he grabbed and pulled it down and away revealing the object. Prepared for the usual scene, Daniel was more than shocked to see four people in what looked like a concrete room standing before him. One more shocking than the others. It vaguely registered on him that they were all wearing some kind of uniform. He knew his mouth had fallen open, but couldn't seem to close it. He dropped the shroud and, forgetting the warnings, reached out to touch the face of one of the figures. He felt a jolt of electricity and then the next thing he knew, he was staring at his office. _His_ office, not the one usually depicted by the mirror. Daniel felt like he couldn't breathe. He jerked his hand back to his side, staggered backwards and only then realized where he was. Concrete walls. He looked wildly around the room and saw nothing but concrete and one window onto more concrete set high up on a wall. Harsh panting. Voices. There were voices. They were saying something about a doctor. He whipped around to see three of the four people who had been on the other side of the mirror. He looked back and again, saw his empty office.

"It's okay," Daniel didn't think anyone could hear him. He turned back around, cleared his throat and tried again, "You're safe. I'm... I'm not a carrier." Daniel tried to find a reassuring smile to give these people, but suspected he'd failed miserably.

More voices, but they weren't registering as more than noise. All his attention was focused on the woman. Daniel couldn't believe it, couldn't stop staring at her. She was the first woman he'd seen in over a decade. She smiled gently and offered her hand. "Hi, I'm Major Samantha Carter."

Introductions. He could handle introductions. This was something he could do on automatic, which was about all he could handle at the moment. Taking the smaller, seemingly delicate hand in his, Daniel responded, "Daniel Jackson, Earl of Cascadia, Heir to the House of Jackson, at your service, Major." He couldn't resist. He'd always thought it terribly old-fashioned and frankly presumptuous in the past, but he gently lifted her hand and brought his lips down to faintly kiss her knuckles. He grinned and gave her hand a squeeze before releasing it. "I can't believe it! You found a cure!"

"Cure?" Daniel turned to the man who'd spoken and got his second shock of the past few minutes.

"Jonathan?" Daniel blinked rapidly. This was getting stranger by the moment. "You're gray!"

"Tell me about it. Not a single gray hair before I met you. The you that's here, that is, not you... you." The man who looked so much like his husband seemed to mentally review what he'd said as if to make sure it made sense. He nodded to himself then and looked satisfied. Daniel couldn't help but smile at the familiar actions.

"Would it surprise you to know that I understood that, um, I think?" For a moment, Daniel wished Jonathan could be here with him, but he knew he'd never risk him like that. He shouldn't be risking himself. He couldn't believe he'd touched the mirror knowing about the warning. His father had always nagged at him about his impetuousness. He told him time and again that one day it would get him into serious trouble. It galled Daniel that he appeared to have been right.

"Not a bit." The gray haired man rocked back on his heels, arms resting comfortably on the weapon suspended from a strap around his neck. "Our Daniel generally understands me, so why shouldn't other Daniels?"

"Indeed, O'Neill, many times it has required Daniel Jackson's great intellect to comprehend your comments." Daniel turned to look at the man who spoke. His stomach knotted in fear. God no! This can't be!

"J-Jaffa! You're Jaffa!" He whirled around and started to panic when he realized the Jaffa was now between him and his only way home. "But that isn't Niriti's symbol!" In all his imaginings about the nature of the mirror it never once occurred to him that other places might still have Goa'uld in control. He cursed himself for his shortsightedness. "Whoever you serve, I won't let you touch my world!" Daniel shouted and as the words came out of his mouth he knew how ludicrous it sounded. There was no way he could stop these people if they wanted to harm them. But he couldn't bear the thought of being the one to bring more pain to his home. "Haven't you barbarians done enough?"

"Hey, who you callin' barbarians? T, come away from there, you're looming again." O'Neill gestured for the Jaffa to move away from Daniel and the mirror. "There you go. If you really think we're Goa'uld take off. Wouldn't want you to feel like you're wearing out your welcome." There was a hard note in O'Neill's voice, one he rarely ever heard from his Jonathan.

"Sir!" The woman, no, Major Carter, looked upset for him. He had almost no personal experience of the Goa'uld and their servants, but he couldn't believe any of them would give a damn about a single human.

"No, no, Carter, if he thinks we're snakes he's probably better off just going home and we'll try the next universe in line. Maybe that Daniel Jackson will be more polite." O'Neill drummed his fingers on his weapon. "Besides, I'm still waiting to hear about this cure he was talking about earlier. Sounded like something we might possibly be interested in."

"Cure to what, Colonel?" A small, dark haired woman entered the room accompanied by... himself.

"That's what I wanted to know, Doc." Daniel pushed past O'Neill to approach the newcomers. "Oh, here we go again. Watch it Doc, he kissed Carter's hand."

"You did?" his doppelganger asked in a surprised voice.

"It was reflex." Daniel answered slowly. "You're... me." He felt light headed as he reached out his hand to touch the other man's shoulder.

"Oh. Yeah. I guess you haven't done this very often." The newcomer smiled in a friendly manner and held out his hand, "Doctor Daniel Jackson. You're the first, um, me I've met."

He nodded feeling like he was moving through a dream as he slowly dropped the hand he'd reached out with and grasped the one offered, watching as they met. Daniel tried to speak, but the name and titles that had been drilled into his memory from early childhood fled. The myriad shocks of the past few minutes finally caught up with him and everything went black.

Voices. He could hear voices, but for some reason he was reluctant to wake up. Very weird dreams last night. The drugs did that to him sometimes. But now he felt warm, and comfortable like he was wrapped in cotton. Finally one voice broke through the haze. "Daniel, not now!"

"Jonathan?" Daniel tried to force his eyes open. "Izit time?" If Jonathan needed him, he needed to wake up. He forced his eyes open only to shut them against the bright lights shining down on him. That wasn't his bedroom ceiling.

"Sir? Can you wake up for me?" A woman's soft voice in his ear and he suddenly knew where he was. His eyes flew open again and he came face to face with the dark haired woman he'd seen earlier.

"It wasn't a dream, was it." He looked at the faces gathered around his bed. Only the Jaffa was missing. "You're not Goa'uld?"

"No, we're not." The woman, the doctor, he supposed, helped him sit up. "Take it easy, you've had a shock and I'd hate for you to pass out in my infirmary."

"Is that what happened?" He took the glass of water she offered and drank, more to have something to do than because he was thirsty. "Thank you... I don't believe I heard your name, Madam." When in doubt, formal was best or so his nanny had always taught him.

"He's gonna be a hard act to follow, Daniel." Major Carter bumped the other Daniel's shoulder and grinned at him.

"Carter, quit harassing Daniel. Did he harass you over Dr. Carter?" O'Neill's voice sounded so much like Jonathan's at that moment, Daniel thought he might cry. He was suddenly homesick.

"Ignore them, sir, it's usually for the best. And my name is Doctor Janet Fraiser, it's a pleasure to meet you." She took the glass from him, "Yes, you were shaking hands with... with our Daniel and just passed out. From what I've been told you'd had a few surprises thrown at you over a short period of time." While she spoke, she'd pulled a small flashlight out of her pocket. "I'd like to take a quick look at you and make sure you're all right, will that be okay with you?" She looked at the others around his bed. "Would you prefer some privacy?"

He realized he didn't want O'Neill to leave. It was silly. That wasn't his O'Neill, his Jonathan, but he had the same brown eyes and they carried familiar warmth when he looked at the Daniel from this place. "No!" He realized he'd spoken too sharply. "I'm sorry, I think I'm still a little on edge. It's okay, they don't have to go." A thought occurred to him. "Unless... well," he ducked his head and felt himself starting to blush.

"Oh! No, it's not that kind of exam." The doctor smiled in sympathy. "I just want to check your pupils, take your blood pressure again now that you're awake, that sort of thing."

"Oh." Daniel looked up at her over the top of his glasses. "In that case, please continue."

"I'd also like to get a sample of your blood." With quick, efficient movements, she shined a light in each of his eyes. "It's routine for..."

"Doc! I don't think our guest needs to hear all that." O'Neill smiled at the doctor, but his eyes were still hard.

The look reminded Daniel of how Jonathan used to smile at his father, especially when Daniel had been the subject of the old man's latest tirade. _Protective. He's afraid I'm a threat_. Suddenly things didn't seem quite so outlandish. O'Neill wasn't Jonathan, but he was _a_ Jonathan O'Neill and Daniel couldn't find it in himself not to trust the man. "I don't mind, giving you a blood sample, Doctor." He smiled at them all. But there was still the matter of the Jaffa. His smile faded. "But I'm confused."

"Happens to me all the time." He had to give him credit. O'Neill seemed to be trying to at least _pretend_ to be friendly.

"Jack." Daniel wondered if he looked like that when he spoke to Jonathan in that tone.

"Daniel." He had to duck his head to hide his grin. Jonathan _definitely_ looked like that when he used that tone.

"What are you confused about..." the doctor hesitated. "I'm not quite sure what to call you."

For all that this was obviously a military facility, there seemed to be a distinct lack of formality. "My formal title would be Lord Cascadia," Daniel caught the looks exchanged between the people around him. "But I think that's a little much under the circumstances."

"So, Mister Jackson?" The insulting term sounded very odd coming from O'Neill. He must have seen Daniel's wince, "Not Mister Jackson."

"I'm sorry, no. That, um, that isn't considered very polite where I'm from." 'Mister' inevitably led to 'Mistress' for the bearing men in a relationship. Polite usage of both ended almost overnight a decade ago.

"Lord Daniel!" O'Neill looked very pleased with himself. Daniel's counterpart scowled at the older man and Daniel's homesickness raised another notch.

"Jack, I don't think that's an appropriate form for an earl." The other Daniel seemed embarrassed for him.

"No, really, it's, um, it's fine." He pushed his glasses up onto his nose. "And it'll make it easier since there's, well, two of us." He raised one finger to get their attention, "But, please, when there's no question of confusion, just, just call me Daniel." The echoes of a few childhood taunts were much easier to deal with than the alternative.

"Daniel it is." Doctor Frasier smiled at him and began taking his blood pressure. For just a moment it was as if the past ten years had never been. Not that he would give up his husbands for anything. He'd come to love Ian and Jose almost as much as his beloved Jonathan, but he missed the company of women. Missed their friendship. Their perspective. Their lovely voices. Boys' choirs were very popular at home and he now realized why. He used to think it was nothing more than the joy of hearing children where they'd thought there'd never be any. Now he knew with sudden clarity that it was because it was the only way to hear those light clear tones they all missed. He wondered if O'Neill liked opera.

"There, you seem to be no worse for your adventure this morning." The doctor smiled and gestured to another woman, a nurse, who brought her a tray. "Just let me get this blood sample and then we're through here."

"At which time, we'll all go down and have a conversation with General Hammond." It was easier if he didn't look at O'Neill. He looked so different, but he _sounded_ the same.

"Look, um, Lord, I mean, Daniel," Daniel looked at Doctor Jackson, "there's something we should probably explain before we go." Doctor Jackson looked irritated at O'Neill, but his face cleared when he looked back. "About Teal'c."

"Teal'c?" He was stumped. He didn't remember anyone named... _T, come away from there, you're looming again_. He was glad the doctor had already taken his blood pressure because he knew it just shot through the roof. "Oh. Right. Yes, about, um, him."

"It's okay, he's not what you think." It was weird to see his face trying to reassure him. "He's with us fighting _against_ the Goa'uld."

"Strange, isn't it?" Major Carter sat down next to him. "I met one of my other selves once." She smiled and Daniel couldn't help but smile back. "I didn't like her much at first, but she kinda grew on me. Give us a chance to show you we're not your enemies."

In a world where women still lived, Jonathan O'Neill was gray and his titles seemed strange, he could begin to believe in turncoat Jaffa. "I think I'm beginning to believe it, but,"

"Here we go." Yes, not looking directly at O'Neill was easiest.

"I still have a million questions."

"Oh, he's _so_ you, Daniel."

* * *

"They began testing the oldest men first." Daniel sat across the briefing room table from his counterpart and listened with growing amazement. He'd stopped all pretense of note taking, just absorbing the man's fantastic tale. He suspected Jack was still skeptical, but that was Jack. Daniel found himself reading between the lines; hearing what wasn't being said. The other Daniel had told his world's story but left out his personal feelings. Daniel heard them anyway. He saw the lines that were missing on his own face. The scattering of gray missing from his own head. He _felt_ the rage simmering under the world-weary surface. This man was on the edge. Through most of his story of Niriti's abortive invasion, the devastating plague, her mysterious death and her army's subsequent desertion, his voice had been nearly flat. Only when he mentioned Niriti herself had he spoken with emotion. Daniel, and he suspected everyone else in the room, recognized the hatred in his tone. They'd heard it whenever Daniel spoke of Apophis.

"Why the oldest first?" Janet Frasier looked up from her notes. She'd been scribbling madly trying to get every detail their visitor could give her.

"The theory was that with this procedure, men would be able to bear children longer than a woman would since ageing eggs wouldn't be an issue. Even so, the stress could be too much." Lord Daniel rubbed his eyes in a familiar gesture. "It was thought that the sooner the older men could begin bearing, the better," he paused and looked at General Hammond who was as rapt as the others. "And if the initial procedures didn't work." He stopped and looked down at his hands.

"It was no great loss if the old guys died, right?" Jack's irreverent comment cut through the silence.

"Colonel!" The general barked at his subordinate.

"Jack!" Daniel snapped at the same moment.

"No, it's alright. He's, um, well, he's right." Lord Daniel shrugged and nodded at Jack. "You have to remember, we were dying as a species." He sounded exhausted. Lord Daniel had been speaking in fairly general terms. Daniel knew there was a great deal about the personal cost they weren't hearing. The actual act of conception had been ignored completely. Janet had tactfully not requested any clarification, though Daniel figured she'd ask later. Hopefully, in private. "This was the _only_ chance we had. Men volunteered by the thousands for the testing. Soon, when so few were found compatible with the procedure, the testing became required." He rubbed his eyes again and stared at his hands where they now lay clinched together on the table. "There were mass suicides across the world once we realized the women had been targeted. Whole cultures have died out rather than submit to... the change. Everything we were... Everything..." He slammed his fists down on the table and stood glaring at everyone, everyone except Jack. "You have no _ right_ to judge us! You sit here in your perfect world and you can't _begin_ to imagine what we've gone through!" He whirled and strode the closed blast window, turning his back on everyone hands clinching and relaxing at his side.

"You're right." Daniel stood as he spoke and approached his other self. "We can't know and we're _not_ judging you." He graced Jack with the glare he'd been spared earlier. "I know it can't compare to what you've gone through, but this is difficult for us to hear."

"Try _living_ it!" Daniel cautiously placed his hand on the other man's tense shoulder.

"How can we help?" He ignored Jack's sigh and concentrated on the man next to him.

"Help?" Lord Daniel's voice sounded defeated and the rage fled leaving an almost palpable aura of pain behind. "Do you have any children, Daniel?" Haunted eyes bore into his.

"No," Daniel swallowed his own pain, "My wife died before we had the chance." His counterpart nodded and looked down at the floor.

"My sorrow for your grief." Daniel bit his tongue to keep from asking the origin of the apparently ritual phrase. This wasn't the time. "My consorts have given me seven living sons in the past six years." Even through the pain and sorrow, there was pride and love as he spoke of his family. "We have buried," the arms that had been held tight to his sides, folded themselves around his midsection as he spoke softly, "three sons and two beautiful, perfect daughters." A quick, sad smile graced his face. "We're luckier than some."

"My sorrow for your grief." Daniel repeated the phrase slowly, hoping it was appropriate, given that the other Daniel's society was apparently more formal than his own. His other self seemed willing to accommodate their ignorance, so he hoped his sincerity overrode any unintentional insult.

With another small smile he looked back up at Daniel, tears shining in his eyes. "You're dying to ask about that, aren't you." His voice was quiet, for Daniel's ears only. Daniel nodded; embarrassed that he was that transparent but not really surprised that the other man picked up on his unfamiliarity with the phrase. They'd spoken together before the briefing and found, unsurprisingly, that they shared many of the same interests and had had some similar experiences. Daniel was still working through the fact that the other man's father was still alive and that his mother had lived until the plague. That was far stranger to him than the idea of most of North America being part of the United Kingdom. "Thank you." Lord Daniel took a deep breath and spoke normally. "The plague is still active. It's still killing our daughters, and probably destroying the fertility of most of our sons. Our solution is far from perfect, but it's the only one we've got." He turned back to the others in the room, "Can you help us?"

"Lord Daniel," Daniel recognized the regret in General Hammond's voice. This was going to be an uphill battle. "While we sympathize with your world's plight, I don't know what we _can_ do. We can't risk exposing our world to Niriti's plague."

Other voices drown out his own. Jack surprised Daniel by being the one who spoke the loudest. "General, surely there's something we can do without exposing our people." Daniel wasn't sure what was going on in Jack's head right then. There was a tightness around his eyes that told of stress. His normal restlessness during briefings had stilled as Lord Daniel's tale progressed. Daniel suddenly wondered who the 'Jonathan' he mentioned earlier was to their visitor. He had a feeling Jack didn't want to know.

"Sir." Janet spoke up. "If I may?" At her commanding officer's nod, she turned to their guest. "You said that almost all of your world's resources were devoted to reproduction and basic survival."

Lord Daniel nodded and replied, "Most of our industrial base crashed in the first year. We've limped along but it hasn't been easy. Biosciences receive the lion's share of our scientific resources. Every birth, every, um, miscarriage requires medical intervention. There is no more 'natural' childbirth. Add to that the injunctions against risking any man capable of reproducing." He sighed heavily. "Only sterile men, for example, are allowed to pursue some occupations or travel great distances. The only exception are men who have to travel to conceive or certain men who are the only specialists left in their fields."

"Sir, it may be that we can do something, even if it's only going over their data and offering suggestions based on our knowledge of the Goa'uld and on Niriti's methods." Thank you, Janet.

"Sir," Sam spoke before the General could respond to Janet's suggestion, "we could also supply them with research equipment, or medicines they no longer have the resources to manufacture." She smiled hopefully at Lord Daniel. "Do you think that would be of use?"

An SF at the briefing room door interrupted. "General? I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's someone," he glanced nervously at Jack and swallowed, "Someone else came through the mirror and he's demanding to see someone named Lord Cascadia." The sound of an argument drifted in from the corridor.

"Take your hands off me! I'll go where I damn well please!" Daniel glanced quickly at Jack who looked back at him. They both recognized that voice. Their first visitor was halfway to the door when their second visitor shoved past the SF. "Daniel! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Jonathan? What am _I_ doing? What the hell do you think _you're_ doing?" The two men embraced quickly. "Why are you here?" Lord Daniel led the newcomer, the heavily pregnant newcomer, to his chair and urged him to sit.

"I _was_ looking for you!" He eased down into the chair, apparently oblivious to the shocked stares aimed at him from around the room. "Ian went to look for you and found that damned contraption uncovered. He's having hysterics, Jose's pissed as hell and if your father finds out, he'll have your head." Jonathan took a moment from his tirade to catch his breath and look around. Daniel met his eyes. "Damn! You were right, Daniel! He's you!" He looked back at Lord Daniel and then back to Daniel as if comparing the two. Finally he noticed Jack. "Shit! What happened to you? You're gray!"

Daniel found himself openly staring at Jonathan. Their relationship was suddenly all too clear, yet that paled in comparison to the man's condition. The alternate universe's plight had been little more than an intellectual puzzle, until now. They'd had little time to fully absorb the fantastic situation faced by the other Earth. They were now faced with direct evidence of what they'd been told which made it much more real and frankly shocking. It was orders of magnitude weirder than alternate Sam being a civilian. Daniel got a sudden image of Sam giving a Power Point presentation on the probabilities of various occupations and circumstances of 'their' lives in alternate universes. Complete with formulas and graphs. He choked down an almost hysterical giggle. After all the things he'd experienced since standing on the sidewalk in the rain after his disastrous last lecture he'd figured he was beyond this kind of shock. _Never say never,_ he thought ruefully to himself. But if his reaction was this strong, what must Jack be going through.

Jack was still standing stiffly where he'd risen from his chair at the commotion. His face was closed and tight, reminding Daniel of the moments before battle and he felt himself respond in kind. A quick glance at Sam told him she'd noticed and reacted as well. They were so attuned to each other Daniel had to force himself to relax. He knew that if Teal'c were here he'd be on alert as well, something that would likely have terrified their visitors. Once he'd decided Lord Daniel was no threat to them, Teal'c had offered to excuse himself since his presence was still disturbing to the man. Jack had argued with him, but Daniel persuaded the general that he was right and their visitor would be more forthcoming without a constant reminder of the Goa'uld in the room.

"Jonathan!" Lord Daniel chided the other man then addressed the others, "Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce my First Consort, Jonathan O'Neill of the House of Jackson." He, in turn, introduced everyone to his consort before adding, "These people may be able to help us." He took the pregnant man's hand and lowered his voice, "Please, try not to insult them." He paused then added, "Pretend it's a council meeting."

Jonathan's whispered "Are you _nuts_?" barely reached Daniel's ears and he was sitting closest to him. Perhaps no one else heard. He wondered what it would be like if Jack was on any kind of governing council but decided he didn't need the resulting headache.

Jonathan looked away from where he'd been staring at Jack and rubbed his rounded belly. "The title thing is a mouthful. Just call me Jonathan." Turning to Lord Daniel he asked "I don't suppose I can blame it on hormones?" He rolled his eyes at his companion's slight scowl and looked back at Jack. "Um... look, I'm sorry, it was just a bit of a shock, y'know?"

Jack seemed to shake himself out of his immobility. "_You're_ shocked?" He sat back down, his eyes never leaving his alternate self. "That looks... painful," he added with more sympathy than Daniel would have thought him capable of at the moment.

"Jack!"

"I'm just sayin'." He had the good grace to look a little sheepish. Daniel tried to curb his irritation. As strange as he was feeling about all this, he really couldn't imagine how Jack was feeling. He suspected he'd get an earful eventually, but doubted he'd ever hear the most important parts.

"It's okay," Jonathan told Daniel. Then he shrugged and turned back to Jack. "It has its moments. It's the backaches, y'know? They're the worst." Daniel couldn't help smiling. He sounded like Jack complaining about his knees.

"Sir," Janet spoke, pulling their attention from the two O'Neills, "if it wouldn't be an imposition, I'd like the chance to exam you before you return to your universe." She glanced around the table, "This," indicating Jonathan's pregnancy with a gesture, "is an amazing opportunity to learn..."

"Opportunity!" Jonathan's voice thundered through the room.

"Jonathan, please calm down." Jonathan shrugged off Lord Daniel's efforts to calm him.

"Damnit, Daniel, aren't you hearing this? It was bad enough before! I certainly didn't expect to have to go through this crap all over again!" He turned his attention back to the others in the room. "What do you think I am, some sort of experiment? A research project? What is _wrong_ with you people?" He turned back to his companion. "I thought you said they wanted to help. I won't be poked and prodded like some kind of _brood mare_!"

"We don't think that at all." Daniel said hurriedly. He hoped he could diffuse this before it got even more out of hand. Janet's request had hit a nerve. It didn't take an anthropologist to recognize the venom behind the words "brood mare". Daniel bit down on the urge to ask about it. So many questions, so little time for answers. "We think you're a courageous man who's gone to extraordinary lengths to save his people." Janet looked embarrassed. "Remember, we know you, um," he tried to banish the memory of Jack playing with his yo-yo in the control room yesterday. "A version of you anyway," he added dryly and waved a hand toward Jack.

Jonathan seemed to settle a little. He wasn't completely at ease, though, as he glared and pointed at Janet. "I still don't want _her_ anywhere near me!"

"Love," Lord Daniel's voice was calm as he focused on the distraught man at his side. "No one's going to do anything you don't want. No one's going to hurt you and if anyone tried, they'd have to go through me." Daniel couldn't help but glance at Jack to see his reaction to the endearment. Jack's eyes met his and Daniel shook his head minutely and narrowed his eyes in warning. Jack's slight shrug indicated his acquiescence and Daniel relaxed a little.

"Sir," Janet took a deep breath before continuing, "I apologize if I insulted you. It wasn't my intention."

General Hammond cleared his throat and got everyone's attention. He smiled his most diplomatic smile, "This is obviously an awkward situation for us all. Perhaps this would be a good time for a break. We still have more than twenty-four hours before you have to return to your own universe." The general's timing was excellent, as usual. "Gentlemen," he addressed Lord Daniel and Jonathan who looked confused at the time limit mentioned, "a V.I.P. suite has been prepared for you. Doctor Jackson, would you escort our guests and arrange for whatever they require?"

"Of course, General." Daniel stood and waited halfway to the door for Lord Daniel to help Jonathan awkwardly rise from his chair. The wheels seemed to make it more difficult. With an audible groan he was finally on his feet and Daniel gestured to the doorway, "If you'll just come with me, gentlemen."

Daniel mostly stayed out of the conversation between the two men as they made their way to the guest quarters level. Lord Daniel filled Jonathan in on what he'd learned and Daniel added clarification when requested. Jonathan kept sneaking glances at him and shaking his head. They'd yet to tell their visitors about the gate, an omission Daniel felt was close to criminal. Security was one thing, but he thought this was taking it too far. He'd try again as soon as he could get back to the General, but for now, he'd take the opportunity to learn what he could. If gathering information from their guests meant delaying the inevitable conversation with Jack, it wasn't his fault. He'd be just as happy to never have that particular conversation. He had a sinking feeling that it wouldn't end well. Where was an alien invasion when you needed one.

* * *

  
_Given me seven living sons in the past six years_. Jack hit the heavy bag again. _ Buried three sons and two beautiful, perfect daughters_. His gloved fist slammed into it again. _Seven living sons_. Another bone jarring thud into the bag. _Buried three sons_. Another hit followed by another and another. A single gunshot echoed through his memory. Sweat poured down his face and Jack felt the blackness encroaching. He'd stared into that pit before and it had nearly swallowed him. He'd once told Daniel that he could sometimes forget. What he hadn't told him was that sometimes he couldn't help but remember. He pounded into the bag and locked away each image as it rose in his mind.

Seven laughing children.

_snick_

Five tiny coffins.

_snick_

Blood-matted blond hair.

_snick_

One small coffin.

_snick_

He locked them away and he would keep locking them away until they stopped haunting him. Each mental turn of the key matched a fist slammed into the bag.

Jack stood in front of his locker, a clean wet towel still in his hands, and realized he couldn't remember how he got there. _Gotta love autopilot,_ He thought as he started to dress. He'd been pretty pleased with how well he'd handled the briefing, earlier. He'd managed to shut down his initial emotional reaction to his counterpart, but then it had been over and he'd been alone with no one but himself and his ghosts to play to. Lying to himself was one thing, but his ghosts knew better. Jack hated spending time inside his own head. Too many landmines. Too many bricked up doorways. _Damn!_ For the millionth time he wondered how Daniel could stand it. He certainly had enough of ghosts of his own. Maybe that's what drove him to cram so much useless information in his head. Easier to ignore the walled off spaces if there was enough other junk to hide them. Ok, so Jack thought it was junk. Unless he needed it in the field. And what did that say about his life that the kind of crap Daniel liked could mean the difference between life and death in the field.

Daniel. Jack slammed his locker shut and sat down to put on his boots. He just _ knew_ they were going to have a talk about this. Jack decided he'd rather gnaw off his own arm. _What was it T said that time? "Ours is the only universe of consequence." Damn right it is!_ He didn't need anyone else around to tell him he was lying to himself. It didn't matter. He had things to do, pie to eat. The click of the locker room door as it closed behind him locked the last of the ghosts back in their bricked up tombs.

Jack sat in the commissary and took another bite of pie. Coconut cream wasn't his favorite, but the apple had looked like that crap they'd been served a couple of missions ago. Even Teal'c got sick enough to mutter about the inequities of fate robbing him of his symbiote. The less said about Carter's and Daniel's comments, the better. Not one of their more enjoyable missions. Jack had the place almost to himself, which suited him. A couple of Daniel's geeks were arguing over something or other at a table across the room but that was it. They appeared to be so focused on their argument they probably wouldn't notice an invasion. He needed the time to settle back into his skin. Their visitors would be leaving in a few hours and, if he was lucky, he could avoid any more contact with them. This hopping from universe to universe was unsettling. It upset the natural order of things. It was just plain _wrong_. He dismissed the little voice in his head whispering to him that what he did for a living pretty much fell into the same category. Gate travel, he could handle. That was just technology. At least, androids not withstanding, he didn't have to worry about meeting up with different hims. Especially versions of him that made Jack question some very basic truths about who he was. He took another bite and studied the pattern of the meringue on the last few bites of pie as if he could find inner peace there.

"Sir?" Jack looked up, surprised to find an airman standing near his table. He'd been so lost in thought he hadn't noticed him come in.

"What is it, Anderson?" Maybe he was being sent to Washington or the Tok'ra had come to call. Either would get him out of having to deal with Lord Daniel and... him.

"Sir, the general would like to see you in his office A.S.A.P." The kid looked nervous. Jacked figured most of the base had heard about their visitors. He stifled a sigh. The next few weeks were _so_ not going to be fun. But, eventually, something else impossible would happen and the pregnant Jonathan O'Neill would be shoved out of mind by SG9 turning into werewolves or something.

"I'll be right there, Anderson." The kid hesitated and Jack wondered if he'd been supposed to escort him. "Dismissed." Anderson turned and all but ran out of the commissary. Jack shook his head and drained his coffee cup. If Kowalsky were still around, he just _knew_ there'd be pictured of Jonathan posted at strategic places around the base and a surprise "baby" shower for Jack. He did sigh then, still missing his friend after all these years. Setting his empty cup on the table, he stood and headed for the general's office. No one was close enough to hear his murmured "Absent friends."

Jack knocked on the general's door and was immediately invited to enter. "You wanted to see me, General?"

"Yes, Colonel, have a seat." Jack sat in front of the general's desk hoping this had nothing to do with the men in the V.I.P. suite but certain he couldn't be that lucky.

General Hammond eased back in his chair, "How are our guests doing?"

"Don't know. Don't care." George Hammond had spoiled him. His brief, but not nearly brief enough, stint under General Bauer had made that abundantly clear. Hammond allowed, even actively encouraged his subordinates to be people and not just subordinates. It was probably one of the most important factors in the success of the SGC. All these incredible people facing all sorts of outlandish situations needed someone like Hammond who could step back and let them do what they do best. The Bauers of the world only knew how to give orders, never when not to or when to just sit and listen.

"Colonel," He paused, "Jack, I know this must be quite difficult for you," That was George speaking, not the general. Another point in George's favor.

"No, sir, I don't think you do." Jack had to move. He did _not_ want to have this conversation. It was bad enough that he knew he'd be having a version of it with Daniel, but to have it with his C.O.? Even a C.O. as understanding as this one? He got up, shoved his hands in his pockets and started wandering around the office. Jack stopped in front of the window looking out on the empty briefing room before turning back to the man behind the desk. "General, I'd like to request a few days of leave." He wasn't sure who was more surprised by that, the general or himself. For a man who could withstand torture without revealing anything, his mouth had a terrible habit of going off without any assistance from his brain.

"I think that can be arranged, Jack." George looked at him with a benevolent smile and Jack couldn't believe his luck. "_After_ we've dealt with the current situation."

Jack found his boots extremely interesting for a few moments. "Can't fault a guy for trying."

George chuckled. "Jack, if I faulted you for being trying, you'd probably be a Lieutenant in Antarctica right now."

"Good one, sir." Jack's sick smile apparently provided further amusement for the other man. "So, what fun and games do you have lined up for me? Scrabble? Pin the Tail on the Donkey? Suicide mission?" Jack continued to wander around the office.

"Nothing you'd enjoy that much, I'm afraid." The humor in George's voice faded and the general returned. "Have a seat Colonel. You're giving me whiplash."

"Yes, sir." Jack dropped ungracefully into his chair to hear his fate feeling his ghosts scratching at the doors to their prisons.

Jack got off the elevator with every intention of delivering his message and leaving the dirty work to Daniel. Daniel wouldn't mind. Wouldn't even see it as dirty work. Besides, he was good at it. Jack would be calm and relaxed if it killed him. The general had impressed upon him that this was still a diplomatic situation when he turned down Jack's request for a zat. Jack had thought it a reasonable request. He certainly felt like he was going into battle. A zat seemed like a much more diplomatic choice than his P-90. He nodded with an absent "As you were," to the SF guarding the door and then knocked. A familiar voice bade him enter. He made a quick bet with himself as to which one it was as he opened the door. The Daniels were seated at the small table, a legal pad, a laptop and two coffee cups between them. "Hey, Daniel. _Daniels_" He gave them both his best 'don't mind me, I'm harmless' smile.

Lord Daniel returned a smile of his own. His Daniel scowled and looked suspicious. "Jack? Did you need something?"

"No, no, well yes, but I also thought I'd check on our guests." The bed was rumpled, but no one else was in the room. Before he could ask, the bathroom door opened and Jonathan came back into the room.

"That's, um, nice, Jack." Jack beamed at his wary teammate.

"Jack, isn't it?" Jonathan stood between the bathroom and the bed with his hands resting on his protruding belly.

"Yes. Yes it is. Or Colonel. Jack's fine. Jonathan, right?" Jack was babbling and he knew it, the pregnant man just nodded and rubbed one hand idly where it lay reminding Jack uncomfortably of his ex-wife. For the life of him, Jack couldn't figure out why the general thought this was a good idea. What do you say to your pregnant self from an alternate universe? He took a moment to really look at the other man. While his hair wasn't nearly as gray as Jack's, there were more lines on his face. He looked exhausted. Under the loose fitting pants and shirt he was generally heavier than Jack, pregnancy aside. Lord Daniel hadn't said how many children this man had borne, but it was a sure bet this wasn't his first. He'd been trying not to think about the relationship between the two men. It brought up too many things about himself that he really didn't want to think about. Things he'd thought he'd dealt with a very long time ago. He suddenly needed to know if they'd been together before Niriti. He just wasn't sure he'd like the answer. No matter what it was.

"Daniel taking good care of you?" He quickly reviewed what he'd just said. The amused smiles coming his way told him everything he needed to know. "I mean, _our_ Daniel."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one getting confused here." Jonathan eyed the bed with obvious distaste and headed to a chair at the table, instead.

"Yes, Colonel, Daniel has taken excellent care of us." Lord Daniel rose from his chair as he spoke and stood behind the now seated Jonathan. With one hand on his consort's shoulder he continued, "Please extend our thanks to General Hammond. It was gracious of him to allow us the time to speak and a place for Jonathan to rest"

"That's the general for you. Gracious to the end." Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels.

"Jack, if there's nothing else, we really do have a lot more ground to cover." Daniel tapped the pad in front of him with his pen.

"Learn anything interesting?" Jack wandered closer to the men, all now sitting at the table, looking around the room before standing behind Daniel so he could look over his shoulder and try to read the pad sitting in front of him. "What language is that?"

Daniel sighed and tossed his pen down and looked up at his friend over the top of his glasses. "It's _English_, Jack. I'm sure you've heard of it."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." He looked at the pad again, but still couldn't make out anything on it. "Your handwriting's terrible. It's starting to look like all those other chicken scratches you like." Jack knew a delaying tactic when he saw one, even if he was employing it against himself. His emotions were all over the place and the familiar teasing with Daniel gave him an anchor. When he'd found himself at the door to this room, he'd thought he knew why he was there. Now, he wondered if maybe he'd given in too quickly. He _could_ have fought harder. Could have tried to talk the general into doing this himself. Maybe some part of him _wanted_ to be here. _Of all the dumbass ideas you've ever had, Jack, that one takes the cake._ He chastised himself silently. He had to do his job and get the hell outta Dodge.

Jonathan reached over and pulled the pad toward him so he could see it. "Damn, Daniel, his handwriting is as bad as yours." He glanced up at Jack and gave him a fleeting smirk before turning an oh, so innocent face to _his_ Daniel.

"I thought you didn't like sleeping alone?" Lord Daniel's mild voice carried the same innocent tones Jack was used to, which made the content that much weirder.

Jack glanced at what he could see of Daniel's face to see his reaction to their guests. Daniel had picked up his pen again, but his face was unreadable. _This is weirding him out as much as it is me._ Yep, looked like they had a talk coming up, if they wanted it or not. He would have managed to ignore it, if it had only been him, but he wouldn't, couldn't hang his friend out to dry. He'd done that before and hadn't liked the result. Hadn't liked what it said about Jack O'Neill. Hadn't liked what it had done to Daniel, if he was completely honest with himself.

Lord Daniel took his consort's hand and raised it to his lips as if in apology for his tease. The action looked nothing like the kiss he'd bestowed on Carter and the Doc. This spoke of intimacy and, if Jack were completely honest with himself, love. The two men smiled at each other unaware of the frank stares from the other two men in the room.

Daniel cleared his throat and turned toward Jack. "So, Jack. You said you had something you needed?"

"Ah, yes." He had the others' attention now. "The general asked me to let you know that the President has given permission for us to fill the guys in," he smiled and nodded at their guests, "on what we do here."

"The who?" Jonathan looked confused. Jack figured he was the only one who heard Daniel's mutter. It sounded something like "it's about time".

Still holding his consort's hand, Lord Daniel answered him, "Sort of like a Prime Minister but without a monarch."

"Without a monarch? How can you have a Prime Minister without a monarch? That's nuts!" Jack was taken aback by Jonathan's response. The full implications of Daniel's counterpart being a nobleman, or whatever, hadn't really sunk in.

"We don't have a Prime Minister, we have a President. A little matter of winning a war. Does 1776 mean _nothing_ to you?" He looked at the two blank faces before him.

"Jack," Daniel had his 'I'm going to be patient with you until you go away' face on. "In their universe, the American revolution never happened."

"How do you know that?" Jonathan turned to Lord Daniel. "How does he know that?"

"Calm down, Jonathan. We talked about this earlier," he explained and nodded at the rumpled bed. "While you were napping." Jonathan scowled.

"How could it not happen?" Jack might be a man of the universe, but there was something fundamentally unsettling to him to think that the country he'd devoted his life to didn't exist somewhere.

Daniel spoke up, "It's actually very interesting." Any irritation Daniel had felt over Jack's interruption was gone as he jumped up and started to pace rapidly, hands waving as he spoke. It was replaced by his almost pathological need to share every boring detail with Jack. At top speed. The thought made Jack smile. Some things never changed. "See, in their universe, George the Third died in an accident around 1765. That meant George the Fourth became king in his own right decades before he did here. Granted, he was only a child, but without the madness that marked his father's reign during those decades, the policies that sparked the revolution were never put into place and the United States was never came into being." He stopped and faced Jack, eyes bright with excitement. "Jack, you see what this means, don't you?" Daniel _always_ asked him that and Jack almost _ always_ needed him to explain it. He should feel honored that his brilliant friend thought him capable of keeping up with what was going on in his mind, but generally it just gave him a headache.

"Um... no." Jack shrugged. "Sorry, Daniel, I'm not seein' it."

"It means I was _right_!" Ok, that little jump was going on Jack's tape. At this rate, he wouldn't have to buy the pizza for a month. On the other hand, if he ditched the bet idea and went straight to blackmail, he might get six months out of it.

"About?" Jack gave him a 'keep going' gesture.

"The _mirror_, Jack!" Daniel cocked his head to one side and lowered his voice as if talking to himself. Jack had always been fascinated by how the man actually talked in footnotes. He'd never known anyone else who did that. "Well, actually the controller, but that doesn't matter." Apparently back on the main text, he continued, "What _does_ matter is that this helps prove that the farther we go along the controller, the more distant the point of divergence that caused the universes to separate!"

"Ah." He nodded. "Fascinating, Daniel. As always." Jack ignored the scowl. He'd delivered his message, now it was time to make his exit and start putting this whole mess behind him. "So, I'll be off. Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"I'm sure you can explain things to these good people." Jack edged his way back to the doorway.

"W-Wha? Jack? Don't you think," Jack was a little surprised by the almost panicked expression on Daniel's face.

"No, thinking's your department. Yours and Carter's." Jack had his hand on the doorknob.

"Jack." He knew that tone. Daniel was not a happy camper.

"Daniel" Jack wasn't a happy camper either, nor was he in the mood to be pushed.

Daniel turned to address the others, "Would you please excuse us for a moment, I need," he scowled at Jack, "a word with Jack." A gracious nod from his counterpart had him hustling Jack out into the corridor.

"Jack! Where do you think you're going?" Daniel kept his voice low, but Jack knew that whisper. He'd be yelling if he weren't concerned with being overheard by the men in the V.I.P. room.

"Anywhere but here, Daniel. I can't," he glanced at the S.F. on guard duty and grabbed Daniel by the arm and dragged him down the corridor and into the first room he came to. Shutting the door to the storeroom he flipped on the lights and continued, "I can't _be_ in there, Daniel. I just _can't_." He realized he was still clutching the other man's arm and released it, shoving his hands in his pockets. Seemed to be the safest place for them lately. He looked into his friend's eyes and hoped the perceptive man wouldn't make him say any more.

"Don't do this to me again, Jack. Don't hang me out to dry." Jack was thoroughly confused now.

"When have I ever hung you out to dry?" Memories of past missions flashed through his mind, but Jack wasn't sure any of those really applied. Unless... He'd apologized for what happened on Euronda and Jack _thought_ Daniel had forgiven him, especially after he finally clued in and admitted Daniel had been right. "Euronda?"

"Euronda? Huh?" Now it was Daniel's turn to be confused. "No! Damnit, Jack! That was completely different. Besides, we both kinda screwed up on that one." Daniel always looked a little embarrassed when Euronda came up. Jack knew he'd been kicking himself ever since for not taking Jack aside to make his point about their hosts. 'Don't fight in front of the aliens' was one of the first things teams were taught before going through the gate. "No, I'm talking about the Langarans. I'm sure you remember them."

"Oh. Them." Not one of Jack's better moments, except for the end. It was a kick to watch them flounder when he and the general told them the SGC was withdrawing the offer to help them resettle.

"Yeah. Them." Arms wrapped around himself, Daniel wandered over to a table laden with boxes of something or other. He nudged one over a bit and perched on the edge of the table. "When Jonas came through the gate, I was glad to see him." Daniel was looking down at the floor so Jack couldn't see his eyes. "We'd gotten along well... um, before and then with the mission on Anubis' ship," his voice trailed off and he shrugged. "It wasn't a problem." Jack knew what was coming and wished he'd brought it up at the time. Jack had been selfish. He would _never_ feel anything but hatred for that whole damn planet because of what happened there. Even now that Daniel was back, sometimes grief would hit him and he'd have to go to his friend's office just to reassure himself that he was there. The longer Daniel was back, the less it happened, but it still got him every time.

"Daniel." Jack wasn't sure what he should say. What he _could_ say.

"Just hear me out." Daniel took a deep breath and looked Jack in the eye. "You walked out and left me in there with them." Jack was surprised at the accusation and that's exactly what it sounded like. The tone of voice was unmistakable. "Do you know when I finally remembered," Daniel cleared his throat and studied his boots. "Finally remembered my, um, death?" He met Jack's eyes again. Jack just shook his head. Daniel had never said much about what he remembered after he'd been cleared for regular gate travel. Jack had been too cowardly to ask. "It was the night after Jonas showed up."

Jack closed his eyes and sagged a little against the door. "Daniel, why didn't you say something?"

"What was I supposed to say? 'General, I'm sorry, I can't help save these people because it's giving me screaming nightmares?' I'm sure that would have gone over well." Now a spot on the floor captured Daniel's attention and he absently rubbed his boot over it.

"Damnit, Daniel." Jack scrubbed his hands over his face. Guilt was eating away at his resolve. "I'm crap at this sort of thing. What do you want from me?"

"I _want_ your help." Jack stared at his friend. "I want to know that when this is all over there's someone I can talk to who might have a clue about how I feel. About how," Daniel fluttered one hand as if he could pull the word he was searching for out of thin air.

"Freaked?" Jack supplied the word that best described his frame of mind.

"Right. How freaked I am." He nodded his thanks for the assist. "It wasn't too bad before Jonathan showed up. But that just," He shook his head and shrugged.

"Yeah. I know." This wasn't quite the setting he'd had in mind when he'd envisioned this particular discussion. Jack had really hoped there'd be alcohol available before marching out into this minefield. Getting into these kinds of things surrounded by toilet paper and cleaning supplies was also a whole other level of bizarre that he thought he could do without. "You could always talk to Carter." Any hope he had of that working died as soon as he said it. He didn't need the expression on Daniel's face to tell him it was a really bad idea.

"I don't think meeting an alternate self with a different career is quite the same as meeting one who's," Daniel took a deep breath but Jack interrupted him.

"Pregnant?"

"With my counterpart's child." Daniel nodded.

"Okay." Jack was a little surprised by how much easier this was than he'd expected. It wasn't just about him any more. It was about him and Daniel. A team thing. He could do this. Besides, Daniel helped pull him back from the pit once before. Maybe he could do it again. Maybe it wouldn't be as hard to deal with this if he didn't have to do it on his own. Maybe pigs fly.

"Okay?" Daniel looked startled. "Just, 'okay'?"

"Yeah. Okay. As in, you're right. I'll stick around and help you brief our guests." He wasn't nearly as relaxed as he sounded, but this wasn't as hard as he'd feared. He _did_ owe Daniel one. More than one, really, but one was all Daniel was calling him on at the moment.

"Oh. Um, thanks, Jack." Poor Daniel always looked so flustered when he won. "I really appreciate it."

"Think nothing of it." Jack gestured to the door and put his hand on the light switch. "And when all this is over, we'll go to my place for the weekend and talk." He switched off the lights as they left and closed the door.

"You're volunteering to talk? I'm not going to have to pry it out of you?" Daniel asked in disbelief.

"I talk." Jack tried for indignant.

"You actually did a pretty good job in there." Daniel flicked his hand back toward the storeroom they just left.

"I did?" Jack thought he'd been pretty useless.

"Well, for you." Daniel didn't meet Jack's eyes.

"Thanks, I think." Talking was overrated. "In that case, we'll talk _and_ drink." There, that should do it.

"Drink? All weekend?" Now Daniel was openly staring at him.

"Sure. Why not?" If he couldn't shut his ghosts up completely, he could at least numb them for a while.

"Works for me." Maybe they both needed that.

* * *

"Is that how I used to be?" Daniel's quiet question startled Jonathan. He'd drifted again as he often did late in his pregnancies. Though, with Patrick he'd been pretty much drifted through the whole thing. Just as well, since otherwise he figured he would have spent the entire nine months terrified of another miscarriage. He blinked back the sudden tears and managed to keep them from falling.

"What do you mean?" He had no idea what Daniel was talking about. He straightened up when his husband turned around from where he'd been staring at the door. A couple of steps brought Daniel right in front of him and Jonathan reached out to stroke his cheek when his husband dropped to his knees and took Jonathan's free hand in his.

"The other, um, the other me." Daniel leaned into the stroking hand. "Did I used to be like that? So," he paused and Jonathan knew he was searching for the right words. "So, irrepressible. So excited by unimportant things." Daniel's head bent to caress Jonathan's hand with his lips.

"They were never unimportant to you, love." He shifted the hand on his husband's cheek and used it to tilt the beloved face up so he could meet his eyes. "Yes, he's very much like you were," he placed a finger against the other man's lips, preventing the inevitable interruption. "Let me finish." A teasing kiss against his finger let him know he'd won this one. "But, he hasn't gone through what you have. His life has been very different." Daniel stood and changed his grip on the hand he held, urging Jonathan to stand. He nodded to the sofa across the room and led Jonathan to it.

"Let's get more comfortable." Once seated, Jonathan wondered just how he'd get up. That was getting harder and harder, but the feel of his love's arms going around him made him bite down on the image of him struggling to get up later. This was worth it. "I need to hold you, for now. Do you mind?"

"Silly question, Danny." Jonathan kissed Daniel's cheek and settled himself against the other man, shifting to find the most comfortable position he could. "I can't wait for this kid to make an appearance. Then you can hold him for a while." He felt the chuckle beneath his cheek where it rested on Daniel's chest.

"I can't wait, either. The doctor said it would be in the next couple of weeks, didn't he?" Jonathan closed his eyes against the uncertainty in his husband's voice. The doctor had come the day after Daniel had done his duty and the drugs were still messing up his mind. He often had trouble remembering things that happened for a couple of days after. Daniel never spoke much about the drugs effects anymore. Jonathan knew the loss of memory maybe more than the loss of emotional control tore at his husband. _If only he could forget the... matings._ They both feared the long-term effects, though they'd never spoken of it. The thought of _his_ Daniel without the use of his quick mind made Jonathan almost physically ill. _No matter what happens, love, I'll always be there for you. I'll always love you._ Jonathan made his silent vow and snuggled a little closer to his beloved. He stifled the pang of guilt that arose. This time, he'd banked on Daniel not being able to follow everything Doctor Caruthers had told him. There would be time enough for that after their child was born.

"Yep, just a couple of weeks, but what does he know. I think it's going to be at least three." He couldn't see from this position, but he imagined he grin as he felt his husband press a kiss into his hair.

"He's never done this. _I'm_ the expert here." Jonathan grunted and shifted as the baby head butted his lungs. "At least now I understand _exactly_ why women liked having female obstetricians."

"Oh, so you want a female obstetrician now?" Again he felt the chuckle more than heard it. Daniel didn't laugh much anymore and Jonathan missed it. But his tease brought up something that Jonathan figured they needed to discuss.

"I had a thought while I was resting my eyes." He waited for what he knew was coming.

"You mean while you passed out and slept like a log, don't you?"

"I did _not_ pass out or sleep or _nap_." He knew it was a lost cause, but a man has _some_ pride.

"Of course not, love, you always snore when you're thinking." The laughter in Daniel's voice brought tears to Jonathan's eyes again. He was really looking forward to delivering this kid and getting his hormones back under control. At least as much as they ever were any more.

"As I was saying before the smart ass remarks," he gently poked the stomach beneath him.

"Oh, my deepest apologies, sir. Please continue." This time Jonathan nipped Daniel through his shirt and rode out the gentle retaliatory tug on his hair with good grace. They used to play a lot before everything went to shit. Jonathan missed it. He didn't miss the hand caressing his shoulder. They might not play as much, but the gentle touches had escalated. Jonathan appreciated gentleness these days.

"I should probably, um." He took a deep breath because he really didn't _want_ to do this, but the _opportunity_ was too good to pass up. "I should probably talk to that lady doctor before we go back." He traced concentric circles on Daniel's stomach, neatly avoiding the ticklish areas. Daniel's hand stilled.

"Are you sure, love? You sounded pretty certain back there in the meeting room."

"Yeah, well." Jonathan was sure Daniel couldn't see his scowl at the thought. Who did he think he was kidding. Daniel knew him too well. "I'll probably have to, well, apologize to her, first." He sighed and just lay with his husband, one hand still on Daniel's stomach, the other, tucked slightly between them, scratching lightly at his own. The itching from the stretched skin was driving him crazy. The air in this place was way too dry for his taste. Daniel's hand picked up the caress on his shoulder again.

"It might be a good idea." They fell silent for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts, just enjoying the peace of contact. "I should probably let her do a thorough check of me, too." The hand on Jonathan's shoulder squeezed him a little before stroking again. "Maybe," Daniel breathed out harshly before continuing. "Maybe she can find some way to adjust the, um, drugs or, or something." While Jonathan had missed some of what Daniel and Doctor Daniel had been talking about while he _rested his eyes_ he'd lay hard currency on the fact that little or nothing had been said about that.

"So," Jonathan twisted a little so he could see Daniel's face. "When they get back, we'll listen to what they have to tell us and then we'll ask to talk to the lady doctor." Daniel's hand hadn't changed its motion, but his face was now shuttered. _Doing battle with his demons._ They'd both paid a high price for their world's continued survival.

"Yeah." The single word was all Daniel said, but his arms enclosed Jonathan more tightly. He couldn't tell who Daniel was trying to comfort most. It didn't really matter. Jonathan closed his eyes against his ever-present exhaustion and just enjoyed being held.

"So, do you think they're together?" Jonathan jolted awake. He must have just dozed off when Daniel spoke.

"Hum?" He stifled a yawn and rubbed his cheek against the broad, warm chest below him.

"Nice of you to join me." Jonathan tilted his head to scowl at his husband, who ignored the scowl and explained further, "Them. Us. The Colonel and Doctor Jackson. Do you think they're lovers?"

"Ah. Them." Jonathan took a moment and reviewed the interactions he'd seen between the two of them. "Hard to say. They certainly _sound_ like us, but there's something," he paused, seeing in his memory the softness in Doctor Jackson's face when he looked at his O'Neill. "No," he shook his head and took the opportunity to press a kiss on the shirt- covered chest he lay against. "I don't think they are, but they should be."

"Yeah, I got that impression, too."

Jonathan grabbed the back of the sofa and started trying to pull himself out of his oh, so comfortable recline against Daniel. _Damn bladder._ With his other arm, he pressed against the solid chest behind him and felt strong hands easing him upright. He sometimes felt like a turtle on its back these days. "Thanks, love." One hand left his shoulder to stroke his cheek before running through his hair and down to the nape of his neck. He smiled and leaned toward Daniel to accept the offered kiss. "Umm... thanks for that, too." He braced himself and waved a hand in the air, "Could you..."

"Oh! Of course, here," Daniel jumped up off the sofa, stumbling a little over Jonathan's feet and took his arm as Jonathan started the laborious process of getting out of the comfortable sofa. Once upright, they embraced and Jonathan sighed then leaned against the other man for a moment before straightening.

"Gotta pee. Be right back."

Jonathan stepped into the small bathroom attached to the room and took care of his needs. Standing next to the sink, he washed up and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He hated deceiving his husband like this, but Daniel was still too fragile from his latest bout with the fertility drugs and now there was _this_. Stepping through an alien device into another universe with other people who looked and sounded like them. It was wrong on so many levels, but if... _if_ these people could help, maybe the nightmare could end. Every baby that lived past his first few days was all the hope they'd had and he'd thought it was enough. Now, though, now he wanted it all. He wanted _this_ child to live and he'd do whatever he had to do to make it happen.

As he turned the doorknob, he realized he'd been hearing voices in the outer room, but had been too lost in his own head to realize it before now. _Thinking's a dangerous game, Jonny boy, best leave it to the experts._ He headed out into the room and greeted their 'guests' as he clumsily rejoined _his_ Daniel on the sofa. "So, you two get it worked out?"

"We, talked." Jack looked uncomfortable and Doctor Daniel just looked at the floor. Jonathan shared a look with Daniel.

"You mean _he_ talked and you stammered a lot." He grinned at his counterpart's discomfort and not even Daniel's quiet, chiding "Jonathan" kept him from needling the man. "Y'know, I've found that kissing the daylights out of my Daniel generally shuts him up for a while."

"Jonathan!" Daniel's chide wasn't quiet this time, but he did try to hide his smile from the other two men in the room. Doctor Daniel was openly staring at Jonathan, his mouth hanging open. He started to speak several time and then just blushed and strode over to the table where his laptop and note pad were.

"Uh," Jack looked just as dumbstruck before finally finding his voice. "Something tells me that wouldn't work with _my_ Daniel." He looked startled at his own words and glanced quickly at _his_ Daniel who was looking back at him, blinking rapidly in apparent confusion.

"Hey," Jonathan decided to push just a bit more. "You never know 'til you try." He couldn't help but chuckle at their expressions. He knew he was right. They did belong together, they just hadn't gotten there yet. Maybe something else good could come of this disaster. The idea that there might be a Daniel and a Jona... well, O'Neill who weren't together just didn't sit well with Jonathan.

"Jonathan, stop it." Daniel had gotten his own mirth under control and seemed determined to drag them back on topic. Jonathan acquiesced but shared a last quick grin with Daniel who then scowled at him. "So," Daniel said, "you were going to tell us about what you do here."

"Right." Doctor Daniel sounded relieved now that the discussion had moved on to more neutral territory. "Approximately ten thousand years ago, an alien arrived in Egypt. He took on the persona of the Egyptian sun god, Ra." Jonathan settled into his husband's side and leaned his head back and down resting both on the back of the sofa and on Daniel's shoulder. He closed his eyes and let the familiar voices wash over him as he gave into his exhaustion. Daniel would fill him in later. Besides, expert or not, he had some thinking of his own to do. He was _not_ going to sleep.

* * *

Janet stood just outside the briefing room gathering her thoughts. She could hear the voices inside talking quietly waiting for everyone to arrive. General Hammond and Teal'c were discussing something too quietly for her to hear. She and Daniel were the only ones missing, it seemed. Sam had cornered the colonel and was trying to convince him to back her plan for a project the general had already vetoed once. The snippets Janet heard let her know which project this was and she was more than sympathetic to the colonel's attempts to put her off. Sam had spent an evening a week ago rattling on about it over dinner with her and, truth be told, Janet had almost no idea what it entailed. The problem with having friends inside her own discipline was that they inevitably spent all their free time talking about work. The problem with having friends _outside_ her discipline was that they still spent all their free time talking about their work, only Janet rarely caught more than one word in five.

She didn't want to go in until it was time to start, but she couldn't hang around out here forever, after all, she's the one who'd requested this briefing. _Daniel, where are you?_ She'd been a doctor long enough to know she was projecting calm professionalism. Inside she was still reeling from what she'd learned of their guests. She'd been all but locked in her lab since they returned through the mirror two days before. Some of what she'd discovered made sense, but the rest was more problematic. She swallowed still hearing the echoes of Lord Daniel's familiar voice as he dispassionately described his experiences with the fertility drugs required to allow him to impregnate the men brought to him. In many ways, he was very different from their Daniel, but now she had an inkling why.

"Janet?" She turned to meet the concerned gaze of her friend. "Something wrong?" Hearing their Daniel's voice helped drown out the other one in her head.

"No, just not wanting to get involved in," she smiled ruefully and waved toward Sam and the colonel, "that." It was a small lie, but she really didn't want to get drawn into it. He peered around the corner and then looked back at her with a startled expression.

"She's _still_ going on about that?" Janet realized Sam must have cornered him at least once over it. "Between you and me," Daniel lowered his voice conspiratorially, "I have _no_ idea what she's talking about. When she mentioned how small the risk of losing the entire mountain was, I decided I really didn't want to know, either."

Janet stifled a giggle at his smile, "Me, neither, but she does seem to love going on about it."

Daniel looked a little guilty, "Not that you or I have ever," his voice trailed off and he waved his hand vaguely.

"Oh, no, _we'd never_ do something like that." They shared another grin before she continued. "Think we should go in and rescue the colonel?" He ducked his head, pursed his lips and looked at her over the tops of his glasses.

"Well, I don't know that I'd go _that_ far." Janet covered her mouth to hide her giggle.

"Of course, we do have to go in for the briefing." She smiled and was again struck by the differences between the two Daniels. For all that this one had lived a hard life, by anyone's estimation, he still had a spark that his alternate seemed to have lost.

"Oh, well, in that case, after you, madam." He smiled, bowed and waved her on in apparent exaggerated imitation of his other self. As she walked through the door, Daniel following, she started sinking into her professional demeanor, but not before her own smile had been noticed.

"Tell me he didn't kiss your hand, Doc." The almost gratified look on the colonel's face was at odds with his tone of voice as he moved to his seat near the general.

"Don't be an ass, Jack." Daniel turned from filling his coffee cup and wandered over to take his seat next to the colonel. Since this was her briefing Janet took the chair across from the colonel that Sam had left open for her, sitting, instead, in the one across from Daniel. She chose not to answer the colonel's flippant question, letting Daniel's slight scowl speak for her as they continued to bicker lightly about nothing. Some of the tension that had been apparent lately seemed to have dissipated since Lord Daniel and Jonathan left. Teal'c, who had been standing with the general, was already in his chair on the other side of Sam. She never ceased to be amazed at how quickly and unobtrusively he could move for such a large, powerful man.

"Doctor Frasier," the general's voice commanded their attention. "I understand that you have some information about our recent guests that you'd like to discuss." She'd given him an abbreviated rundown on her data when she'd made her request, but she hadn't gone into everything. She hadn't _known_ everything she knew now when she'd talked with him.

"Yes, sir." She opened her folder and began by handing out copies of her data. She should have had it ready for them to read before they'd arrived, but she'd just finished putting the reports together. There was still a great deal of work to be done on the samples taken from their guests. "I haven't had a chance to read all of your reports yet, so some of this might be redundant, but I think it's important to understand the whole picture, or at least as much of it as we have." Nods around the table told her they understood and Daniel's raised eyebrow and twitching lips reminded her of their conversation in the corridor. _Got it, Daniel, stick to English. You should consider it sometime, too._ She raised her own eyebrows and suddenly he found the report quite fascinating. _Got him._

"From my conversations with Lord Daniel and Jonathan, the humans of their world fall into four groups." She had their attention now. "First, there are men who are," she paused, "_traditionally_ fertile. These men either have a natural immunity to Nirrti's virus, or contracted a very mild case of it. They are a fairly small minority of the population. Second, there are men who have undergone the paternal gestation procedure and are now capable of being impregnated and carrying a child to term."

"Bearing men." Everyone looked at Daniel. "They call them 'bearing men'."

"Right. The bearing men all contracted severe cases of the virus which left them _ traditionally_ sterile. "She noticed the colonel's wince. This must have been very strange for him. The two men across the table from her glanced at each other and the colonel shrugged. She hoped they were talking about this. She'd hate to have to order counseling if they weren't dealing with it. "Third, are the rest of the men who, as far as Lord Daniel knew, had all been quite ill with the virus. All are sterile and for one reason or another, aren't candidates for paternal gestation. This third group accounts for roughly three quarters of the population." She stopped and let that sink in. She knew Sam was doing the math to figure out how many men they had capable of reproduction. She'd already done it and hoped Sam would keep it to herself. It was in the report, but she didn't want to have to say it. Writing it was hard enough.

"The Aschen." Daniel's voice cut through the silence. Everyone looked at him with varying degrees of confusion on their faces. "This sounds like what the Aschen do." He looked hopefully into their faces. "Look, the world we met them on once had a large population, a growing industrial base. They would have been where we are in a hundred years or so if it weren't for the pandemic that left most of them sterile."

"Nirrti wanted a farming planet?" The colonel didn't sound convinced.

"Well, not necessarily that, but how hard would it be to enslave the _entire_ population of a world that didn't already follow the Goa'uld?" He looked hopefully at Teal'c.

"It would be quite difficult, Daniel Jackson. The preferred tactic when subduing a populous world is to kill a great many in order to instill fear in the rest and have a smaller number to subdue." Janet was still occasionally uncomfortable when she thought about the decades Teal'c, her friend, had spent serving their enemy. "The resulting chaos makes the survivors more easily controlled and manipulated. The population is not allowed to grow large again until their complete devotion to the false god is obtained. The process can take many generations."

"So, Nirrti wanted to take over and decided to do it by killing off all the women? Does that make sense to _anyone_?" The colonel looked incredulous. "She had ships, right? Wouldn't it have been easier to just blast the planet to hell from space then move in?"

"Colonel, lets save the tactical briefing for later. Doctor, if you would continue? You said there were four groups." Janet nodded to General Hammond and returned to her notes before picking up the thread of her report.

"Yes. There are, supposedly, a very small group of females who have survived. Neither Lord Daniel nor Jonathan have ever seen them, nor do they know anyone who has. Even Lord Daniel's father, who is on their Grand Council, claims to have no more information."

"Could this be simple propaganda, Janet?" Sam shrugged her shoulders. "A way of giving the men hope that maybe things would eventually get back to normal?" '

"That could be it." Janet wished it were that easy, but there were too many questions to believe that anything would be simple.

"Actually, general, the colonel may have been right." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Colonel O'Neill looking pleased with himself. "There's a great deal about the situation on that Earth that makes no sense at all."

"I think we all found the situation difficult, Janet." She hadn't had a chance to talk much to Sam recently, so her friend hadn't seen the results yet.

"That's not what I mean, Sam." Taking a deep breath, Janet plunged into the heart of the matter. "My examination of Jonathan turned up nothing in particular that was out of the ordinary."

"Except for that pesky pregnant thing."

_Oh, yes, the colonel is having trouble with this, and it's not over yet._ Janet shook off the thought and continued, "Well, yes, except for that. In other words, given the extraordinary modifications made to his body, I found nothing that didn't seem to need to be there. Changes in his endocrine system mean his body is capable of manufacturing most of the chemicals required for gestation. An implant under the skin of his upper arm provided most of the rest. He has to take a few supplements, but not much more than a pregnant woman here would take. A few feet of bowel were removed to provide more space for the artificial womb, which, fascinatingly enough, was developed from his own tissue. No risk of rejection. There is also a mass at the base of the womb where genetic material, basically the substitute for the egg, mixes with the sperm and creates what is essentially a zygote. Also, a, um, pathway was constructed to provide sperm access to the new reproductive organs." She skimmed over the rest of the details and decided this wasn't the time. The men in the room were uncomfortable enough with the topic and it wouldn't help to alienate them any further. Besides, they were all intelligent, she knew eventually they'd realize that artificial insemination wasn't practical for an entire population. "Overall, he's remarkably healthy as is," she paused, "as is his daughter."

Stunned silence met her announcement. That was one thing they all knew the implications of.

"Does he know, Janet?" Daniel sounded like he was already in mourning. She glanced at the colonel and found his face completely blank.

"He does, but apparently he isn't supposed to."

"What the hell does that mean?" Blank to angry in five seconds.

"It means that doctors are not supposed to inform their patients of the sex of the children they carry." Janet found herself growing as angry as the colonel. "When the first girls were born and died almost immediately, some of the bearing men would try to abort as soon as they found out they were carrying girls. This led to the deaths of several and so doctors were forbidden from revealing the gender."

"So they make them carry them anyway, knowing they're going to die?" The colonel sounded like he was ready to kill someone if only the right someone were in the room.

"Abortion for a woman is a fairly simple procedure, but for a man, it's apparently much more difficult. As Jonathan explained, they don't have the medical personnel to devote to the procedure, which is apparently even more involved than the assisted birth." She noticed the skeptical looks around the table. "No, I didn't understand that, either, but I also didn't think it was a good idea to debate it with him."

"Thank you, Janet." Daniel had ducked his head the whole time she'd been speaking about Jonathan's child. He raised it only to speak and the looked back down at his hands on the table. For a moment she was reminded of his alternate who'd sat in that same manner, in that same chair just a few days ago.

"Even with that lack, they seem to have an extremely sophisticated level of technology, Doctor." The general glanced at Daniel. "Doctor Jackson, didn't you tell us that their technological level was approximately equal to our own?"

Daniel looked up again, apparently now in control of his emotions. "Yes, sir. Before the invasion, they were very close to us. More advanced in a few areas, like alternative energy, but not as advanced in others. They hadn't made it to their moon, yet, for example." Daniel tapped his pen on his folder. "They did have access to Nirrti's ship. Her jaffa didn't take that one, possibly because it was already in human possession. It did take nearly four years to develop the technology and we've seen ourselves how resourceful people can be when faced with," he shrugged.

"Total annihilation." Teal'c supplied the exactly correct, if terrifying, phrase.

"Yeah. That."

"Which makes the rest of this even stranger." Janet didn't like her growing suspicion. "The results from Lord Daniel's tests were quite different. In order for a fertile man to impregnate a bearing man, he must undergo drug therapy to drastically increase sperm count and motility. Lord Daniel had undergone this therapy less than a week ago, and I was able to isolate some of the residual drugs. In addition to the expected hormonal cocktail, there were several others that I have yet to identify. Nor have I been able to fully identify _why_ they were used in the first place."

"What do you mean, Doctor?" The general looked as confused as the others.

"The hormonal cocktail, in addition to some vitamin and mineral treatments, _ should_ have been enough to stimulate the higher levels required and without most of the reported side effects."

"Side effects?" Daniel leaned forward. "What side effects?"

"I take it he didn't tell you about that." Janet remembered, again, Lord Daniel's flat, unemotional voice as he listed them. Her friend shook his head and glanced at Jack who shrugged. "He reported feeling highly aggressive, which could be caused by higher testosterone levels, but even so, his sounded much too extreme to be just that and it wouldn't account for the mood swings. Also, he shows no other symptoms of overly high testosterone levels. He also said he had memory problems for several days after the therapy in addition to decreased appetite and difficulty achieving delta wave sleep, which then results in fatigue. He said the drugs made him feel out of control." She decided she'd hold off on mentioning the nightmares he'd have during those nights. They didn't seem important other than to show that he was reaching REM sleep. "He also showed some minor neurological degradation and admitted to being a little clumsier than he used to be."

"Is he going to be alright?" Daniel's concern was evident. Janet wasn't quite sure how to answer him but decided truth was the best bet.

"To be honest, I don't know. I wouldn't let a patient of mine continue a therapy with this level of side effects, but that isn't exactly an option for him."

"Janet." Sam had been fairly quiet during the briefing and Janet wondered just how she was coping. "Could some of these symptoms have been caused by the virus?"

"Lord Daniel never contracted the virus. I compared the antibodies in his blood with those from Jonathan's, who did have it, and Lord Daniel's was clear."

"How could you tell?" The colonel's question showed genuine curiosity, which intrigued Janet. He rarely seemed to care about 'all that sciencey stuff' as he called it. She sometimes forgot the keen mind that lurked behind the sarcasm and occasionally juvenile humor.

"Their Earth seems to have produced very similar pathogens to ours. I was able to identify and eliminate all but one, so until I can get more definitive data, I feel confident that this one is the antibody to Nirrti's virus." Now she was down to her guessing, which she hated to do, but this whole thing was fishier than the colonel's pond. "Sir, nothing about this adds up. Viruses need a vector, they need, for want of a better word, a host."

"When the other Daniel first appeared, he said he wasn't a carrier." Sam's quiet voice told Janet she was thinking.

"Right. So who is?" Janet saw dawning comprehension on several faces. "If I were in charge of a planet-wide catastrophe of this nature, one of the first things I'd do is to try and isolate anyone found to be carrying the virus. Any society capable of the kind of medical miracles this one is capable of should find that fairly easy to do. So why are children still getting sick? They haven't found an animal or insect carrying it. Yet, Lord Daniel told me that almost _every_ child catches the virus within days of birth. Most survive, but the oldest boy born in this way is only seven years old. It could be another seven years before they'll be able to see if he's fertile or not."

"So, someone's doing this _to_ them?" Janet felt a chill run down her spine at the colonel's cold tone and even colder eyes. He was taking this personally and she thought it was for more reasons than he realized.

"It's Nirrti. She's still alive. We have to tell them, general." Daniel had _that_ look on his face. Sam called it his 'I know you're going to tell me it's impossible, but you know I'm right' look. She also cheerfully told Janet that it made her want to hurt him very badly since it was usually aimed at her. Mostly because he usually _was_ right.

"Doctor Jackson, our guests were adamant that Nirrti was dead. Her host was well- known and the body was seen by many people." General Hammond didn't sound convinced of his own argument.

"Not if she moved to a male host, first.

"Shit." _My thoughts exactly, Colonel._

* * *

"Daniel?" Daniel turned from his study door and smiled at Ian through the nagging headache he'd had for a couple of days. "Daniel, do you have a few minutes?" Daniel looked more closely at his third consort and realized he was upset.

"Of course, Ian," he reached for the door, "let's go." Ian's firm grip on his arm startled Daniel. Ian was a slight man, barely reaching Daniel's chin. Running the household had mostly fallen to him simply because he was the only one of the four of them who seemed to have an aptitude for it. Running a household like this, and in recent years, most of the estate, was a major undertaking that often involved matters far beyond the front door but Ian managed it like he'd been born to it. It kept him busy but required no physical labor on his part. Fortunately, his knack for organization and ability to match people with jobs meant he was left some time for his art. Not as much as he'd like, but enough for the time being. His beautiful sculptures and paintings were scattered throughout the house and commissions were starting to come in more and more often. His work was gaining popularity throughout Cascadia and beyond. He had an apprentice he was training to take over as a proper steward, but until that time, he was happy to take the burden off the others. Not to mention being unwilling to suffer through Jose's and Jonathan's frankly inept handling of household matters. Either one could handle things for a week or two, but beyond that they risked loosing good staff who just couldn't take it any more.

"No!" Ian's shout was as uncharacteristic as his hard grip and the pain in his head ratcheted up a notch. Daniel knew he hadn't had much time for his husbands since returning from the other Earth, but surely that was no reason for Ian's emotional state. "Please. Not in there. Can we go somewhere else?"

"Of course, sweetheart. How about your office?" He would have suggested the bedroom but Jonathan was resting and he got the feeling that Ian wanted to talk with him alone. Ian had miscarried a few months ago and the doctor wanted him to wait a little longer before trying again. Maybe that's what this was about. He seemed to have been handling it pretty well, but these things sometimes reared their heads at the strangest times.

Ian nodded in relief. "My office. Yes, that's perfect." Seeing him more at ease, Daniel slipped his arm around the smaller man's waist, kissed his temple and turned down the corridor to Ian's domain. Whatever was bothering Ian might be easier to face in a room where he was Lord rather than just married to one.

Daniel released the other man as they went through the doorway. He'd always loved this office, even back when Mrs. Amberson had held sway. She'd been a stern mistress for his home and had constantly clucked over his slightest indiscretion. In the manner of family retainers everywhere, she seemed more concerned about the family she served than the family itself. Not that Daniel had been a bad kid, but he hadn't actually been the model heir, either. His general indifference to girls aside, he hadn't been particularly interested in politics or in finance or in any of the other fields considered acceptable for a man of his station. His habit of slipping away from his bodyguards didn't help, either. She'd shaken her head and warned him that nothing good could come from his fancies. Told him that if he didn't watch himself he'd grow up to be just another useless lordling like that good for nothing Westridge. She'd been right about one thing, at least. The current Lord Westridge was about as useless as a man could be. The people of Westridge were lucky he had a cousin willing and able to take care of things.

It wasn't until the day he'd brought home an injured woman he'd found by the roadside that she finally seemed to begin to understand her strange charge. He'd been about fourteen and had gone for a bike ride, after escaping, again, from his stifling bodyguard, when he saw a woman on the side of the road. She was walking doggedly, but apparently not really looking where she was going. He passed her once but something made him turn around to get a better look. That was when he noticed that her clothes had once been of decent quality, but now were old and dirty and it looked like they'd been recently torn. Her hair was tangled and dirty but it didn't look like it had been that way for long. He knew there were poor people in the district and his parents did what they could to help them, but he'd never actually met one. There was something about this woman that was off kilter. That's when he got a good look at her face. It was bruised and there was dried blood near her mouth and nose and one eye was blackened and swollen almost shut. Her skin was pale beneath the smudges but it was her eyes that got to him. They were haunted and filled with more pain than he could have imagined. He'd asked her if there was anything he could do and she shied away from him, almost falling into the ditch. She just sat there rocking and begging him not to hurt her any more. Daniel had been at a complete loss. He had no idea what to do, but he knew he couldn't leave her out by the road. He'd finally convinced her that he wasn't the one who'd hurt her and urged her to get up and walk with him to the house. It wasn't far and he figured walking would be better than being left alone while he got help.

He'd taken her immediately to Mrs. Amberson. For all that he was a little frightened of that formidable woman, he couldn't think of anyone, besides his mother who was out of town with his father, more capable of taking care of his new friend. He'd rushed the woman into this very office, surprising Mrs. Amberson who'd been in the process of dressing down one of the maids for something or other. Daniel had figured he'd be in trouble for sure over this, but he wasn't going to let someone else suffer for that. He remembered how he'd squared his shoulders and politely asked for a moment of Mrs. Amberson's time as he urged the stranger to sit on the sofa near the door. She'd stopped in mid-tirade, said "Of course, Lord Cascadia," in the same tone she used with his father and dismissed poor Conners. When he explained what had happened, the woman had started to cry and rock. The usually stern Mrs. Amberson had then folded her impressive bulk next to the stranger, taken her in her arms and rocked along with her with more gentleness than he'd ever suspected her capable of and looked at him with that same uncharacteristic gentleness. Daniel had never seen that look on her face before, but he remembered that after that, he'd seen it from time to time and always directed at him when she thought he wasn't looking. In a softer voice than he had thought possible for her, she'd asked him to find Mrs. Felts and send her in with her medical bag. As he turned to leave, she said one last thing that he'd never forgotten, "Thank you, boy. We'll take care of her." She'd paused to murmur to the woman in her arms and then stopped him before he got through the door. "Daniel? I think you're going to be just fine, boy. Just fine." He'd never seen the injured woman again, but later discovered Mrs. Amberson had sent her to live with her own sister who ran an orchard outside of Portland.

"Daniel?" He started and realized he'd been lost in thought while Ian had opened the blinds and cleared off the sofa. _I remember when I bought that for him._ Absurdly, he was glad it wasn't the same one as he sat down rubbing his head in an attempt to ease the persistent pain. He patted the space right next to him inviting the other man to sit close.

"Sorry, Ian. This room always brings back memories. I think I just got lost for a moment." He smiled and put his arm around his consort, holding him close. "Now, what's this all about?" He tipped the other man's chin up and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "Or is this just a ploy to get me alone?" Ian laughed at his tease and snuggled into his arms.

"That's not a bad idea, now that you mention it." For the first time in days Daniel felt the first stirrings of his libido as his consort teased him back. He had an aversion to sex right after doing his duty and always welcomed the return of desire. He'd once spoken about it to his doctor, but had been assured that it wasn't caused by the drugs. Daniel had never mentioned it to the man again. He didn't want to see the pity in his eyes. Daniel began to caress the man in his arms and leaned down for a more intense kiss, the pain fading away. Ian surged against his body returning the kiss with matching passion before pulling away. "Ian? Are you all right? Did I hurt you?" Daniel felt close to panic at the thought. He was so used to Jonathan who was bigger than Daniel and solidly built. Jose, too, was large enough to not make Daniel worry that he might hurt him accidentally. Ian's slight stature always worried Daniel. He was so afraid he'd be too forceful in the passion of the moment and injure him. Jonathan always hugged him and told him Ian was tougher than he looked and that he wasn't going to break, but that didn't seem to help.

"I'm fine, Daniel, really." Ian stroked Daniel's face to take some of the sting out of his withdrawal from their intimate embrace. Daniel caught his hand and placed a gentle kiss in the palm before clasping it. "It's just that we need to talk and if we'd kept going, we'd both be snoring before long."

"Nonsense, Ian. _I_ don't snore." Daniel had heard this rumor before, but surely he'd know if he snored.

"Oh, right." Ian smothered a chuckle. "How silly of me."

Daniel settled back on the sofa and again pulled Ian into his arms smiling as he did so. "So, out with it. What is it you need to talk with me about? It must be terribly important if you'd rather talk than have sex." He felt rather than heard Ian's chuckle as the man shifted to look into Daniel's face. He bit down on his irritation at being rebuffed. He was overly sensitive these days and didn't want to take it out on his husbands.

"I need you to promise me something, dear heart." Of all of them, Ian was the least prone to endearments and pet names.

"If it's within my power and harms no one, sweetheart, it's yours."

"I need you to promise me that you'll get rid of that _thing_ in your study." Daniel stared into Ian's gray eyes and gently stroked his hair back from his forehead.

"Ah, babe, please ask me for something else." Ian broke Daniel's gaze, anger evident in his expression. "You've got to understand, those people Jonathan and I met there could be the key to saving us all. I _can't_ let it go." His consort struggled out of Daniel's arms and stormed across the room where he began to pace rapidly. "Ian, please talk to me."

Ian stopped suddenly, facing Daniel. "You were _gone_," he blurted. He took a couple of steps toward Daniel before sinking into one of the armchairs in front of his desk. "I'd been looking everywhere for you. Beecham said you'd gone to your study, but no one saw you leave." Daniel watched the man as he gripped the armrests like he was hanging onto a wild horse. He was shocked at the fear in Ian's face. "I knocked, but you didn't answer. I was worried so I went into your study and that," Ian swallowed and looked like he was about to faint. "That _thing_ was uncovered and I saw strangers looking back at me, but they weren't in the room and it wasn't your study..." Daniel strode over to the sideboard and poured a glass of water from the pitcher before going to Ian who'd started to hyperventilate.

"Easy, hon, shhh, just relax, it's okay." Daniel pulled Ian's hand from where he was gripping the chair and gave him the glass. While Ian took a drink, Daniel pulled him as close as he could and stroked him, murmuring quietly to soothe him. He felt the other man slowly relax. "Better now?" Ian nodded and leaned over to put his glass on his desk. Ian nodded. He rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. Daniel heard him mutter something, but couldn't quite make it out. He rested his hand on Ian's back and began what he hoped was soothing motion and tried to will his own rising pain away. Ian needed him, he didn't have time for that. "I'm sorry, hon, I didn't catch that."

"I said, I'm scared, Daniel." He looked up and met Daniel's eyes. "Jose is, too, but he'll never say it." Daniel's mind raced trying to figure out what Ian was talking about. He felt like he was falling or maybe had just forgotten how to breathe. Something was about to happen and he was powerless to stop it.

"Tell me, Ian. What are you both afraid of?" He was amazed he'd managed to keep his voice steady. He felt like he was about to break into a million pieces. The pain in his head was almost blinding. He thought encouraging Ian and Jose to form their own relationship was the right thing for them. It gave them at least the illusion of normality without having to constantly compare the way he treated them to how he was with Jonathan. He couldn't help how he felt and he wouldn't apologize, but he could and did give his other consorts as much freedom to be together as they desired. They'd moved into the same suite within a year of his marriage to Ian. He'd thought they'd been happy with him. He treated them as more than breeding stock, which was better than some bearing men had it. He'd become occasional lovers with each of them as they desired him. It did make the breeding sex more enjoyable since he knew how to please his lover. He thought it made it easier for them, too. He never demanded their presence in his bed, nor did he ever go uninvited into their suite. These days, if Ian or Jose wanted to spend the night with him, Jonathan would grumble, kiss them both and go and sleep with the other one saying he wasn't used to sleeping alone anymore. Daniel _thought_ they'd found a way to be happy with the situation forced on them. What if he was wrong?

"We're afraid of _losing_ you, damn it!" Ian shouted. He slammed a fist down on the empty chair arm. "Do you have _any_ idea what it's like for us? What you mean to us?" Ian must have seen the confusion Daniel felt because he continued at a more normal decibel level. "And I don't just mean that we care for you, because we do, but that's only part of it and I think you know it."

"I'm not, um." Daniel was horrified to hear his voice breaking and felt tears welling up in his eyes. He stood up abruptly and walked back toward the sofa. He stopped in front of it, wrapped his arms around his chest and stared out at the courtyard. Daniel cleared his throat and tried again. "I'm not sure, Ian. I'm really not sure _what_ you mean." Strong arms wrapped around him and Ian turned Daniel to face him before pulling him in to hold him tightly. Daniel freed his arms and wrapped them around his consort and rested his head on Ian's shoulder. _Why did I ever think Ian was fragile?_ They stood together for a moment and Daniel allowed himself to be comforted by the younger man. Finally he pulled back and brushed the moisture off of his face. "I'm sorry, Ian. I don't know what's wrong with me. Other than this rotten headache."

"No, Daniel, I'm sorry, I wanted to talk about this, but so far I've only managed to have a panic attack and scare the shit out of you. Are you hurting badly? Can I get you something?" Ian smiled a little and Daniel shook his head at the offer as he felt a great weight lift. If he could joke like that it didn't sound like he was planning on leaving him. "C'mon, lets sit down and start over. I have to admit I already feel better, but I think we still need to talk." They sat as they had before with Daniel's arm around Ian and Ian snuggling close, his head resting against the taller man's shoulder. "If something were to happen to any one of the three of us," Daniel smiled when Ian put one finger over Daniel's lips. He figured he'd picked that up from Jonathan. "Let me finish." Daniel nodded and, as he would with Jonathan, kissed Ian's finger. "Don't try to distract me." They both chuckled at that and then Ian sobered and started again. "If something were to happen to one of the three of us, the rest of you would go on. Our sons would be secure and while the survivors would be sad, nothing much would change." Daniel started to speak, but a quick headshake from Ian stopped him. "If something were to happen to _you_ all bets are off."

"How can you say that?" Daniel couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could Ian believe such a thing? "No matter what happens to me, you three and our sons would still live here. Nick would become Lord Cascadia and you'd be his guardians." He hugged his consort close. "Sweetheart, is that what's got you scared? I thought you understood this. This is your _home_! It will always _be_ your home. No one can take that away from you!"

"Oh, Daniel, you're not hearing me." Ian ran his hand across Daniel's chest and up to his shoulder letting his arm rest across his body. "I know this is our home and that you and Jose and Jonathan and I are family. I don't think I can ever express what that kind of security means to me." Ian's words washed over Daniel leaving him almost drunk with relief. He enjoyed the feeling of Ian in his arms all the while cursing his wayward libido. His headache had died to a dull throb. _We all need a vacation._This was the wrong time to be noticing how much enjoyed his youngest husband's scent and the weight of Ian's body against his. "But Daniel, you mean something else to us." Ian nuzzled Daniel's throat a little and pressed a light kiss on the spot where his whiskers had rubbed. "I see the men who are sent to you." Daniel stiffened. "Dear heart, who do you think coordinates the schedules with the Repro Council? With your doctor?" Daniel closed his eyes. He never knew. He'd never asked. The council letter would appear on his desk and he'd never given any thought to it. He hadn't wanted to know. He'd always wanted to shield his men from that part of his life. He'd never wanted to expose them to his shame. He'd failed. "Daniel, I talk to them before and sometimes... after."

Daniel tried to speak, but his mouth was desert dry. He tried again and managed to croak, "You talk to them?" He was horrified at the thought of gentle Ian trying to pick up the pieces after what was tantamount to rape.

Daniel felt Ian shift in his arms and then felt hands cradling his face. "Daniel, please look at me." Daniel could no more ignore that gentle voice than he could stop his heart from beating. He opened his eyes and looked into Ian's loving face. Perhaps what they felt for each other wasn't as deep as what they each felt for their partners, but Daniel realized in that moment that they did love each other.

"How can you bear to look at me?" Daniel whispered. He'd asked Jonathan that time after time and Jonathan had always reassured him. He had always forgiven him while in the same breath insisting there was nothing to forgive.

"What, you don't have any mirrors in your suite?" Ian chuckled and planted a kiss on Daniel's nose. "I'll order one for you."

"Don't _joke_ about this!" Daniel couldn't believe Ian's cavalier attitude. He began to wonder if he knew the man at all. He felt the rage surfacing. He had to get away from Ian. He had to protect him. Daniel squirmed away from the other man and leapt to his feet. He was halfway to the door when Ian's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Why are you running away, Daniel?" Daniel heard panting and then realized it was himself. _Guess it's my turn for the panic attack._ He felt an almost hysterical giggle start, but feared if he started, he'd never stop. He had to answer, but he didn't know how.

"I-I, um," he swallowed hard and tried again. "I'm, I'm angry. I need to, to get away. Need to protect you." There, he'd said it. He still hadn't turned around to look at Ian. He wasn't sure he wanted to. What would he see in his face? Laughter? Disgust? Or, worst of all, pity? "I never wanted you to know." He whispered. He raised his hands to his throbbing temples. The pain was beating at him, but maybe he deserved it.

"We understood that, Daniel. That's why Jose and I never mentioned it to you."

_Oh, god,_ Daniel thought, _Jose knows, too._ He closed his eyes and wondered what they said when they talked about him. Did they laugh at his ineffectual attempts to hide his guilt? Was that why they'd moved into the same suite? So they'd have protection if he tried to force one of them? _When did it get so cold in here?_ There was a sound behind him, but the roaring in his ears kept him from identifying it. Daniel yelled as if he'd been burned when Ian touched his arm. "Don't touch me! Don't come near me!" He could feel the hysteria rising and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. He backed away from Ian until he bumped into the wall. Daniel scrabbled against the wall with one hand searching for the doorknob, never taking his eyes off Ian. He tried to step closer to it, but his knees folded instead and he slid down the wall landing on his butt with a bone-jarring thump. Daniel sat on the floor breathing heavily. Something was wrong with him, but he couldn't figure it out. Couldn't think. He felt like he was going mad.

"Daniel!" Ian rushed to his side but Daniel couldn't find the breath to tell him to stay back. "Are you hurt? Daniel, look at me." Ian ran his hands over the back of Daniel's head. "Did you hit your head? Talk to me, damn it!"

"H-hot. It's hot." Daniel swallowed and tried to control his breathing. He wondered how it had gotten so hot all the sudden. _Need to have the unit checked. Can't have it going out with winter coming._ He realized Ian was touching him. How could the other man bear it? "I need," more harsh breaths interrupted him.

"What do you need, babe? Tell me so I can help you."

"I need..." Daniel cursed silently. Ian kept asking questions and he didn't have any answers. If only he didn't feel so hot, so dirty, maybe he could think and figure out the answer. Ian deserved that. They all did. They deserved so much better than he could offer.

"C'mon, babe, tell me what you want me to do. Let me help you." Ian stroked his hair and gripped his hand. Daniel looked up and caught his eyes. They were worried and Daniel saw tears gathering.

"I've hurt you." He started to wipe away the tears, but pulled back. He was so filthy, he didn't want to get Ian dirty, too. "Please, I need to go," Daniel swallowed back a sob, "Need to go to my room, now." That was it, he needed to go upstairs. Then he could strip off his dirty clothes, get into the bath and scrub and scrub and scrub the filth away.

"Oh, Daniel." Ian turned his head to wipe his face on his shoulder and Daniel realized he'd spoken out loud.

"I'm sorry, Ian. I don't want to get you dirty, too." He watched intently as the younger man nodded and then reached over to pull open the door. Daniel hoped he'd leave so he'd be safe. He didn't want anything to happen to anyone else, least of all his husbands or... "Wait! Ian!" A new wave of panic gripped him. "Please, get the boys out of the way. I don't want them to see me. Please, don't let them see me," he begged. He couldn't be with them right now, he might get them dirty, too.

"Shhh, dear heart, the boys aren't here, remember?" Daniel tried to figure out what Ian was talking about. He couldn't figure out why the other man would say something like that. "Remember, hon? They went to visit your father a few days ago?" Daniel's panic eased and he nodded, his father would take care of them. He'd keep them safe and clean. That was okay. Clean was good. He didn't think he'd ever be clean again.

Ian half stood, still gripping Daniel's hand and wrenched the door open with the other. "Parker! Get Beecham in here, now!" Daniel watched as if in a dream. He knew he was sitting on the floor, but couldn't remember why.

"Ian? What's going on?" He thought he should be concerned by the tone in his voice, but it was like it was happening to someone else.

"It's okay, Daniel, everything's going to be fine." Daniel felt himself nod and couldn't find any reason to stop, so he kept nodding until Ian's hand on his cheek stilled the motion. "Babe, you're," Daniel watched as Ian composed himself. He seemed upset by something, but Daniel had no idea what it might be. "You're not well. I've called for Beecham and we'll get you upstairs in a few minutes." The hand was back on Daniel's cheek and he leaned into it. He thought he should be in pain, but couldn't remember why. Daniel heard someone muttering, but couldn't quite place it. It felt so good to be touched. To be wanted and cared for. He hoped whatever was bothering Ian wasn't too bad. Daniel was so tired, he didn't think he'd be much help at the moment. Maybe tomorrow.

"Sir, you needed me?" Contentment flooded through Daniel. Beecham would take care of it. Whatever problem Ian had, Beecham would help him with it. Running an estate this size was a big job. Ian did it well, but Beecham was always there to support him. Daniel wanted to reassure Ian and let him know that it was okay to rely on the older servant, but talking seemed like much too much work right then.

"Beecham, excellent. Lord Cascadia isn't feeling well. Could you help me get him to his rooms?"

"Of course, sir." Daniel barely noticed when Ian grabbed him under one arm as Beecham grabbed the other and they pulled him to his feet. He swayed there feeling almost drunk. "Sir, if you can stay with him for a moment, I'll have Parker clear the way." Beecham's voice stopped for a moment. "His Lordship wouldn't want to have his passage disturb anyone's work unnecessarily."

"Good thinking, Beecham. I've got him." Daniel marveled at how thoughtful Beecham was. His servants worked hard to take care of him and his family and Beecham knew Daniel hated to get in their way. Daniel's head wobbled up and he looked at where he was.

"Uh-oh." He knew he was in trouble now. "M'sh Ambershon ishn't gonna be happy with me. I'm not sh'poshed t'be here."

"It's all right, my lord." That was Beecham's voice again. He looked around until he saw him. "I spoke with her myself, my lord, she understands that you weren't feeling well and isn't angry with you."

"'Kay. Th'nksh, Beesh'm." Daniel was walking now, but it was dreamlike. He could hear that muttering again, but couldn't be bothered to tell them to keep quiet and let him sleep. He looked up at the stairs and hoped his father didn't catch him the next time he tried to slide down the banister. With one last sigh, he closed his eyes and slept.

* * *

"Jack, of course it has to be me!" Daniel couldn't believe they were having this argument again. He stuffed the laptop in his bag and checked to make sure he had all the files and reports Janet had given him. "We can't be certain that the children are being infected deliberately." He raised his hand to forestall the inevitable rebuttal. "It _looks_ like it, but it's not a sure thing." He slung his bag over his shoulder and started for his office door with his friend stalking unhappily beside him. "Janet thinks it's highly likely that I have the same natural immunity that Lord Daniel does. If you go and we're wrong about the continuing presence of Niriti's virus, you'll catch it and probably get very sick."

"And what if Frasier's wrong about your immunity? Didja think of that?" Jack shouted, startling several people in the corridor. Daniel stopped and watched Jack continue down the corridor for a couple of steps before whipping around to glare at him.

"Yeah, I did think of that and so did Janet and Sam and Teal'c and the general and probably everyone who's heard about this mission." Daniel was getting serious pissed off with Jack's attitude. Worse, he could hear the hated whiney note creeping into his voice. It's not like he _wanted_ to do this alone, but he really didn't have much choice. He was the only one they knew of who had a hope of being able to do this. Even though he was going through in a containment suit, there was no guarantee something wouldn't happen to it. Sending a woman was out of the question entirely. Sending _anyone_ they weren't fairly confident could survive just in case they were exposed to the virus was out of the question. Daniel had the best shot. Being known to two people in the other universe didn't hurt, either. "If it happens, Jack, I'll stay until I'm clear of the virus and convince Lord Daniel to come here from time to time to avoid the cascade tremors." Jack still looked unhappy. "Look it was _your_ endorsement that got the general to approve this. Why are you so upset that it worked?"

"I didn't intend for you to go alone!" Mother Hen O'Neill strikes again. "I could do it, Daniel. It's not like I'm planning on have children again." Daniel was gratified that Jack had at least lowered his voice.

"Jack, we couldn't ask Jonathan to come back here while you recovered. What if he went into labor while he was here? Janet's not sure she'd know how to handle it, not without doing damage." Jack's face closed down again and Daniel cursed himself for having brought that up.

"But maybe if she was born here," Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and turned back down the corridor to the elevator. Daniel followed, sighing deeply.

"I know, Jack, but we don't know enough yet. Maybe the children are all born with the virus already." A sad smile flitted across Daniel's face. For once he was the one preaching security. "We can't risk exposing _our_ Earth to that." They entered the elevator and Jack hit the button for their floor.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate you when you're right?"

Daniel sneaked a look at the man next to him. Jack stood there with his hands in his pockets looking down at the floor.

"Yeah, I think you may have mentioned it a time or two." He smiled, just a little twitch of his lips but stopped when Jack glanced at him. Things had been odd between them since all this started. He'd found himself looking at his friend only to catch him looking back. They'd both look away, but not before Daniel had seen a variety of odd expressions on Jack's face. He wondered what Jack had been seeing. This was supposed to have been the lost weekend they'd planned. Daniel snorted. He and Jack had to be the only people on the planet who would _schedule_ a "lost weekend". They'd put it off and he was wishing they hadn't. It was almost all he could think about, he just wasn't sure if what he was feeling was anticipation or gut-wrenching fear.

Daniel's mind had been constantly going over the interplay between Lord Daniel and Jonathan. They looked so _right_ together. It had started sending his thoughts places he hadn't gone in a very long time. Places he was frankly uncomfortable with because he wasn't sure where they'd lead if he followed them to what seemed like their natural conclusion. He wasn't sure he was that brave.

Jack jolted into action slapping the stop button and halting their descent. When he faced Daniel his eyes were blazing. "Just promise me you'll be careful." Daniel just nodded, not sure where the _passion_ in his friend's expression was coming from. "And if that gate lights up, you hightail it back to the mirror and come home. No fighting their battles for them. Got it?"

"Got it, Jack." He reached out and squeezed his friend's shoulder. "I'll be careful. I'm just going to relay the information we've got and see if I can get some answers to Janet's questions, then I'm coming home." Jack nodded and Daniel released his shoulder. Nothing more was said as they resumed their journey.

Daniel stood patiently watching the scene on the mirror while Janet fussed with his containment suit. So far, Lord Daniel's study was visible, but there'd been no one in it since just after the visitors returned home. He'd been wondering what was keeping Lord Daniel from his study. From their discussions, they shared a similar attitude toward their work and Daniel had given his counterpart a satchel full of information about the Goa'uld language and the political set up as Daniel knew it. Perhaps he was spending his time reading with Jonathan or the others. Daniel had been known to take books or reports to Jack's when Jack wanted to watch hockey. Sometimes it was nice to just share space with someone.

"Okay, Daniel, that's it. Remember, you've got twelve hours of air at normal activity levels, no more." Janet stepped back and Jack handed him the suit's helmet. "I've got to get back to the infirmary, now, but call me if you need anything. Good luck."

"Thanks, Janet. Hopefully your services won't be needed." Daniel smiled at the doctor.

"See to it, Daniel. You're a terrible patient. Not to mention that you come with even worse accoutrements." Aiming a sour look at Jack, she turned and left, with nothing but the receding sound of her heels in the corridor to fill the sudden silence.

"I hope you stopped by the men's room before you got into that." Daniel glared at Jack who smiled evilly at him. Jack wouldn't take on Janet if possible, but apparently Daniel was fair game. Of course Daniel was always fair game.

"Gee, Jack, no, wanna help me out of this so I can go?" Daniel decided Jack was going to pay for that one since _now_ he wished he could go again before stepping through. He really didn't care much for the internal plumbing in these things, but it was too late now. No way would he give Jack the satisfaction. Instead he pulled on the helmet and closed the connections.

"Can you hear me, Daniel?" Sam's voice was loud and clear over the internal radio. Not that it would matter since he planned to do without that once on the other side. He did have a radio to give to Lord Daniel to make it easier, but figured they wouldn't need it as long as they both spoke loudly. With a thumb's up in her direction he picked up his satchel, and turned to the mirror. Janet's people had set up a decontamination unit around it so when he came back through there would be less risk of bringing anything unwanted back with him. He'd argued that it wasn't necessary since Lord Daniel and Jonathan hadn't brought the virus with them when they came through. Janet had just cocked her head and looked up at him with her hands on her hips. Even Teal'c had been known to stand down when Janet gave him _that_ look. With one last look at the others, he stepped up to the mirror and touched it.

Daniel turned around immediately once he was through to make sure there was no one else in the room. Conscious of the rest of his team watching him, he walked slowly around the room taking it all in. He stopped for a brief moment in front of the formal portrait of his father. _No,_ he thought, _Lord Daniel's father_. He reminded himself to call him Lord Cascadia while he was here. Daniel stopped a moment by the windows and looked out at the stargate in the garden. He shuddered at the thought of it sitting there right by the house. He shook off the image of hordes of Jaffa pouring through and taking control of this house and headed for the door instead. Daniel tried the door but found it locked. He turned back to the mirror and saw Jack and Sam looking back at him. Jack held his hands out to his sides, apparently asking what the hold up was. Daniel mimed what he hoped would convey that the door was locked. It apparently worked since Jack shrugged and mimed something back. Daniel shrugged and did as he suggested. Not that he could think of anything else. He felt foolish, but he knocked on the door and waited, hoping someone was out there to open it.

Daniel tried pressing his ear against the door but he couldn't hear a thing through the damned suit. He turned back to the mirror and shrugged again then raised his hand to knock once more. When nothing happened, he wandered back to the desk, thinking he'd look for a spare key. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Jack looking at him like he'd gone crazy. _Yeah, Jack. Breaking down the door is a great way to win friends and influence people._ He'd save that for a last resort. He grinned, though, at the irony of it. He'd stepped from one universe to another only to be stopped by the lock on an ordinary wooden door. And now he found that the desk was locked, too. Lord Daniel was apparently careful with his work.

Daniel shifted the satchel on his shoulder and turned back to the mirror. Maybe he should go and come back later when someone was in the room. Jack waved his hands and pointed behind him. Daniel turned in time to see the doorknob move. He gave the others a quick thumb's up and went back to stand a few feet back from the doorway. He suspected he was going to look pretty bizarre to anyone who came in and he didn't want to be right on top of them when they did.

The door opened revealing the shocked expression of a wiry, gray-eyed man. He was a few inches shorter than Daniel and held a bundle of keys. He wondered if the man was a servant. Probably a fairly highly placed one if he had keys to the master's study. Daniel smiled even though he didn't think it would matter much through the facemask. Just as he started to speak, another man arrived, shoving the first out of the way and pointing what looked remarkably like a shotgun at Daniel's chest.

"Oh, hey, that's not necessary," Daniel already had his hands up and made eye contact with the newcomer. He was almost Daniel's height, with deep brown eyes and black hair. He looked Hispanic. "My name is Daniel Jackson and I just came through the mirror." _Oh, yeah, that's helping._ The gray-eyed man looked terrified and the dark-eyed man with the gun just looked angrier. "Look, is your name Jose? If it is, then you should know that _ your_ Daniel Jackson met me and my friends a few days ago." That didn't seem to faze the man with the gun at all. The other man, though, seemed to be calming down and was speaking quietly and rapidly to his companion. Unfortunately, the damnable suit prevented Daniel from hearing what was being said.

"We don't know that, Ian!" _Okay, that answers that, but he sure doesn't look like how Lord Daniel described him,_ Daniel thought. "He could be an imposter sent here to do god knows what. How do we know he didn't make Daniel sick on purpose!"

"Hey, wait, did you say your Daniel's sick?" _Oh, god, what if we were wrong._ "He was fine when he left us. Our doctor checked them both out and they were both _fine_!" The gray-eyed man, Ian, was speaking again, apparently becoming more confident because his voice was louder than before, but not loud enough yet to make out more than a few disjointed sounds from this distance. The man's manner, though added credence to Daniel's notion that he was facing Lord Daniel's other consorts.

"No, Ian!" The man Daniel was almost certain was Jose was getting angrier and angrier. Daniel figured he was simply frightened but that shotgun could do a great deal of damage if he got frightened enough. A stray thought intruded and informed him that Jose's slight accent was more Spanish than Mexican, though physically he didn't look European. Daniel shut that down. This was no time for linguistic and anthropological puzzles. "Why is he dressed like that? How long until the rest of us get sick like Daniel? I'm not letting him out of this room and I'm not letting him go until he tells us what's wrong with Daniel and how to cure him!" For the thousandth time since he first wore one of the blasted suits, Daniel wished it were easier to see through. Maybe if Jose saw him clearly enough, it might keep him from killing a man who looked like his husband.

"Wait, wait, wait! We didn't _do_ anything to him! We only want to help." Daniel was starting to get a little desperate. He mentally measured the distance back to the mirror and his heart sank when he realized he'd never make it in time. He subtly turned his head a little, trying not to turn the mask covering his face. It was just enough that he could see the mirror out of the corner of his eye. Sam was there, but no Jack. _Damnit, Jack! Don't you dare!_ Daniel knew what was going on and he had to put and end to this before Jack risked himself. Turning back to the gunman, Daniel tried again, "Look! What can I do to prove to you that I'm not here to hurt you?" He tried to keep his voice calm, but wasn't sure he managed it. Sweat was dripping into his eyes and he wouldn't be surprised if the other two men could hear his heart pounding. Time to try something else. "You're Jose, right? An-an-and you're Ian, right? I know that because _your_ Daniel and Jonathan _ told_ me about you. Why, _why_ would they do that if they thought we were a threat to you?"

"They wouldn't!" Ian spoke out for the first time. He seemed to have conquered his fear or maybe just realized things were getting out of hand. Daniel watched as he stepped between Daniel and Jose. Daniel hoped Ian wasn't just suicidal. "Please, Jose, don't do this. Think of what it would do to Daniel when he finds out." Apparently not suicidal. The gun didn't lower, but Jose's body language was easing, he'd stopped reacting and had started listening.

"Why is he wearing that suit, Ian? What's he afraid of? If he's really just like Daniel, he's immune to Compton's virus." Jose's voice was calmer, which Daniel hoped meant he'd survive this. He really hated getting shot at.

"Our doctors couldn't pinpoint the element in your Daniel's blood that gave him his immunity. They _think_ I'd be immune, but they're not certain. We can't afford to risk me taking it back with me to _our_ world." Daniel did his sly peek at the mirror again and Sam was still there. "Look! Look at the mirror!" He took the risk and turned a little bit toward it to draw the other men's attention to it. "See?" Both men took a good look for the first time. Jose's arms dropped along with his jaw. Ian didn't look any better. "That's my friend Samantha Carter. She prefers everyone call her Sam." Seeing that he had their full attention and the shotgun wasn't pointed at his chest any more, Daniel took a risk and waved a "hello" to Sam. Maybe if he made his world more real, it would help them connect with him. She smiled and waved back. Jose and Ian almost smiled back, but they were still in shock. Ian managed a little wave and Sam returned it. She seemed to have realized what he was up to and played along. Daniel turned back to his companions. "I can't risk her." Daniel's panic faded and his voice reflected that. Daniel watched while Sam gestured to someone out of sight and then Janet walked into view. "That's Janet. She's the doctor who examined your Daniel and Jonathan. She has a lovely daughter named Cassie." Janet waved, too and both men returned it with more confidence than before.

"They're real." The wonder in Jose's voice nearly broke Daniel's heart. "They're beautiful."

"Yes. Yes, they are. They're real and they're beautiful and they're very much alive. They're my friends. I can't let them be hurt. I have to protect them however I can."

"Jose, listen to him. He even _sounds_ like Daniel." Ian put his hand on the barrel of the gun and pointed it down at the floor. "We need to take the chance. Maybe they can help us. Maybe they can help _Daniel_." Jose just nodded and stared at the women in Daniel's universe.

"I bought copies of Janet's records with me for your doctors to look at." Daniel hefted his satchel, but they weren't really paying any attention to him any more. Daniel tried his most persuasive tone. "Your Daniel told us that most of your medical science is devoted to reproduction. Maybe she's found something that your doctors simply don't have the resources any more to uncover. We just want to help you. Please, let us help."

Ian turned away from the mirror with obvious reluctance and took the gun from Jose's hands. Daniel couldn't help the relieved sigh that escaped. Jose's shocked gasp had him jerking back around to see what was happening back home before the image fully registered he heard a shocked "Wow!" from Jose. Daniel looked back at Jose and was surprised to see an appreciative look on his face. Looking back at the mirror and feeling a little like he was a tennis match, he found Jack standing in front of the mirror in boots, pants and a t-shirt with a containment suit helmet in his hands and a P-90 strung around his neck. "Oh, no. No!" Daniel approached the mirror and shook his head violently while trying to convey that everything was under control now. Daniel looked around and saw Ian standing behind him and to one side still holding the shotgun. "Ian, please, put the gun down. Jack has a very bad habit of shooting first and asking questions later. He won't do anything unless he thinks I'm in danger."

"Oh! Right. That sounds very familiar." Ian stepped up next to Daniel and held the gun up sideways in his hands showing Jack he couldn't fire it in that position. Then he slowly bent down, placed it on the floor and backed away a few steps. "He's hot. You're a lucky man."

Daniel's double take wasn't missed by his friends. Janet was leaning against Sam and laughing so hard she probably needed the support. Daniel closed his eyes and groaned. He'd forgotten that she could read lips, a legacy of a stint she did in a V.A. hospital. Probably why they'd called her back down to the containment area. Soon Sam was trying, not very successfully, to stifle her laughter while Jack looked like he'd taken a punch. Daniel raised his hands to his sides and shook his head helplessly. Jack snarled something to the two women who promptly tried to straighten up and compose themselves. They weren't altogether successful. Jack finally just looked disgusted with the two of them and held his mask up as if asking if Daniel needed help. Daniel shook his head hard and waved his hands in front of him in a negative gesture. Jack drummed his fingers on his P-90 for a moment, then tossed the mask to someone Daniel couldn't see. He gave Daniel a "carry on" motion and then turned to probably bark at whoever else was in the room.

"Oh, boy. He's not happy at all." Jose had come up to stand next to Ian. Daniel nodded. Jose was right. Jack was very unhappy at the moment. He'd get over it. "But Ian's right. He's very hot. Can't wait for Jonathan's hair to go completely silver if _that's_ what he's going to look like." Daniel hung his head. This was going to be a very long twelve hours.

* * *

  
Jonathan relaxed into his chair. His back ached, but there'd be no relief for it in the foreseeable future. Daniel was sleeping again so he felt able to leave the bedroom, but he couldn't bring himself to leave the suite. Devon was still there. As Jonathan was the man in the district closest to delivering, there would, hopefully, be no call on his services in the next week or so. Jonathan shut his mind down on the subject of his impending delivery. That was the last thing he wanted to think about. The medics in the district had been put on alert to handle any accidents or ordinary illnesses that cropped up in the meantime. If necessary, the doctor would go, but only if it was something beyond their skills.

The past twenty hours had been trying. Ian and Jose had been there with him, but they'd both gone to take a break and stretch their legs once Daniel had calmed down some. Beecham moved quietly through the suite clearing away stray dishes and straightening up scattered blankets and pillows. Jose and Ian had been camping out there with him for the duration. Jonathan suspected Beecham had no intention of leaving, either. He'd remained at hand since he'd helped Ian carry an unconscious Daniel upstairs. Jonathan certainly wouldn't tell him to leave. He needed the old servant's calming presence. And occasionally, his was the only voice Daniel would respond to. At some level that angered Jonathan, but he buried the jealousy and reminded himself that Beecham had known Daniel since childhood. Given his husband's confusion, Jonathan was grateful someone could reach him at all. He tried to be grateful, at least.

"Sir, do you require anything?" Jonathan opened his eyes to see Beecham standing near his chair. The man looked as exhausted as Jonathan felt and so pale he feared the man would pass out. He started to shake his head as the thought of food turned his stomach at the moment, then something occurred to him.

"Yes, Beecham, I require that you sit down, put your feet up and take it easy." Jonathan sighed, he might just as well have told him to dance on the ceiling. "Look, Beecham, you're tired, I'm tired and neither one of us is leaving any time soon." Jonathan waved a hand at the sofa Jose had been napping on earlier. "Please, take a break. Daniel might need you when he wakes up so you need to be rested." Jonathan thought for a moment and glanced at the covered dishes still on the sideboard. "You haven't eaten, have you." Again, Beecham looked like he'd been slapped.

"No, sir." How could two simple words sound so disdainful? "It wouldn't be proper. I'll have my supper when I return to the kitchen." _Damn,_ Jonathan thought, _if he stands up any straighter he'll be popping some of those buttons right off. _

"Nonsense." Jonathan pointed to the sofa. "Sit." When he hesitated, Jonathan pulled out the big guns. "Beecham, I can't manage here on my own." Jonathan rubbed his hand over his belly to illustrate the problem. "Daniel _needs_ you. That means you're not leaving, not that I thought you would," he added hurriedly, "but that means you have to eat and rest just like the rest of us." Reaching for the buzzer by his chair, Jonathan summoned whoever was on duty. In the meanwhile, Beecham sat. Rather he perched uncomfortably on the edge of the sofa. The man acted as if this were the first time he had ever sat down in the presence of a member of the family. For all Jonathan could remember, it might be. A few moments later there was a quiet knock followed by the appearance of Parker. Of course it would be Parker. Now that Jonathan thought about it, Parker was the only one besides the family, the doctor and Beecham to have been in for the past twenty hours. Of course. Beecham would have ordered him to be on call for their suite. No one who hadn't already seen Daniel would be allowed near while he was sick.

"May I help you, Sir?" The poor man's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw Beecham sitting precariously on the master's sofa. Beecham refused to look away, but his face was turning an alarming shade of red.

"Yes, Parker, would you prepare a plate for Beecham? He's going to be staying here with me for as long as it takes and the man needs to eat. I'd do it myself, but I'd've needed you to help me up so this just seems more efficient." Parker made his way swiftly to the sideboard, glancing back surreptitiously at his fellow servant from time to time. He wanted to look at Jonathan, but had been too well trained to draw unnecessary attention to himself. Covert glances at another servant were one thing. Apparently, covert glances at the family were crossing the line. "Make sure you give him enough to last a while. Don't stint because that plate's not being fixed in the kitchen. I won't have the man weak from hunger." He took another look at Beecham. "Include a glass of wine or some beer or whatever Beecham normally drinks. I'm sure you know what he likes."

"Sir." Beecham sounded like he was being strangled.

"You do drink, don't you?" Jonathan was certain Daniel gave the man a case of something every Christmas, but he couldn't remember what it was at the moment.

"Yes, sir, on occasion."

"Good! I can't right now, so I'll enjoy it vicariously." Jonathan sighed. "I could use a drink right about now." Parker approached and placed a nicely full plate on the low table in front of Beecham along with the necessary silver and linen, then returned to the sideboard to pour a glass of Daniel's favorite red wine.

"Parker!" Beecham hissed and started to rise, but Jonathan stopped him with a raised finger. He settled.

"Sit."

"Sir, that's his lordship's wine, it wouldn't be right," the man was almost panicked.

"Please, Beecham." Jonathan waved for Parker to get on with it and let his voice express his exhaustion. He usually tried to keep up a front for everyone, but he needed to make his point and make it quickly. "Daniel won't mind. He'd be furious with me if he knew I'd let you wear yourself down to nothing." Bringing Daniel into it seemed to be helping. "Besides, I can't think of anyone else outside of his family that he'd rather share it with than you." Jonathan wasn't exactly certain what the expression on Beecham's usually expressionless face meant, but he thought the older man was pleased with the notion that Daniel valued him.

Once he'd finished serving Beecham, Parker stood attentively at Jonathan's side. "Sir, may I get you something?" Jonathan wondered if he'd played the exhaustion card a little too heavily.

"Please, sir, you need to eat something, too." Beecham had relaxed somewhat but Jonathan knew that look. He wasn't going to get away with it.

"I really don't know if I could right now." His stomach was roiling and the baby was alternately kicking his stomach and head butting his lungs. His mind shied away again from thoughts of his daughter. For some reason the confirmation from Doctor Frasier made it all too real.

"Sir, perhaps one of Cook's special drinks would go down well?" Parker looked hopeful at Beecham's suggestion. Now that he mentioned it, the fruit and yogurt drink might do the trick. In a few weeks, he'd hole up somewhere with a couple of bottles of whiskey, but he couldn't do that yet. He _wouldn't_ do that yet, despite the current crisis.

"Actually, Beecham, now that you mention it that does sound good." Jonathan's public face was firmly in place. Beecham waved a much relieved Parker toward the door. "Parker, ask if he has any strawberries." If he didn't... "Wait! _Only_ if no one has to go get them. I'll take whatever's available."

"Of course, sir." Slightly crestfallen, Parker left on his errand.

"Parker's going to have to rest sometime, you know."

"Yes, sir, but in the meantime, he needs to feel that he's helping." Beecham had apparently gotten over his reluctance to eat with his betters and took another hefty bite. After swallowing he continued, "His lordship wouldn't want the nature of his illness to spread throughout the household."

Jonathan nodded. Daniel wouldn't. "Thank you for thinking of it. It really hadn't crossed my mind."

"Sir has other matters to occupy him right now. It is my pleasure to remove whatever small worries I can." Somehow Beecham managed to convey his customary bow without getting up.

"You have no idea how comforting that is, Beecham." Jonathan settled back and considered dozing, but his daughter and his bladder had other ideas. He groaned and started to work his way toward the front of the chair.

"Sir, if I may." _Damn, you move fast._ Jonathan let the older man help him from his comfortable chair and then he waited until his helper got the message and returned to his dinner.

Jonathan made his slow way into the bedroom. Moving as quietly as he could he stopped by the bed to see how Daniel was doing. He looked fairly peaceful in the dim light. He was sprawled on his back taking up more than his half of the bed as usual. Jonathan wanted nothing more than to crawl under the covers with him with the comforting sound of his love's light snores to send him to sleep. Then he noted the dark circles and pain lines between his brows. Even in sleep his head must still be throbbing. Jonathan sighed and then held his breath as the ill man shifted in his sleep, reaching to grab the pillow next to him as he rolled over and hugged it to him. Jonathan didn't move until Daniel settled again. He felt tears well up as he realized it was his pillow being hugged so desperately. He wiped his eyes and headed on to the bathroom. Devon roused a bit in his chair as Jonathan passed him. He squeezed the man's shoulder as he passed and closed the bathroom door softly behind him.

Once finished, he waited until the plumbing quieted down then headed back into the bedroom leaving the door cracked to provide a little light in the bedroom. All was as he'd left it, so he passed through as quickly and quietly as possible so as not to risk waking the sleeper. He had just closed the bedroom door when the door to the suite flew open revealing Ian, Jose and someone covered head to toe in a bulky orange suit of some kind.

"Jonathan!"

"Shh! Ian, keep it down! Daniel's sleeping in there!" Jonathan shushed the younger man and gestured at the odd member of their group.

"Jonathan, it's good to see you again." He knew that muffled voice. Jonathan moved a little closer and peered into the facemask of the suit.

"Daniel? What are _you_ doing here?" Fear clinched his gut. "You didn't bring Jack, did you?"

"No! Though he almost joined us." Jonathan wondered what that meant and then noticed Jose looking a little embarrassed.

"Jose, what did you do?"

Daniel put a gloved hand on Jose's shoulder and squeezed, "It was just a little misunderstanding." Jonathan wished he could read Daniel's body language because he _knew_ Jose. He was sure it was more than a _little_ misunderstanding. Daniel was looking around the room.

Jonathan turned to Ian and Jose who still stood near Doctor Daniel. "Would one of you go in and sit with Daniel? I need Devon out here." Before either of them could speak, Beecham appeared at Jonathan's shoulder.

"Sir, if you please, I could sit with his lordship. It might be best if the other gentlemen remained with you and your visitor." The food seemed to have done the older man a world of good. He still looked tired, but there was new color in his face and he looked like he was willing to take on the world.

"Are you sure, Beecham? I don't recall you napping between bites." The older man would have looked insulted save for the subtle crinkling around his eyes. In all the years he'd been with Daniel, Jonathan had never seen Beecham smile. Well, of course he smiled, but only little 'all's right with the household' smiles. Never a real one. Early on, they didn't spend much time at the house. Later, after things changed, Daniel had commented on how strongly his mother's death had affected the old man. He'd come with her from her father's home when she married and had been more like a favorite uncle than a servant to Lady Claire Jackson, at least according to her son. Maybe he just didn't smile around them, around Daniel. Maybe it hurt too much. "I shall be fine, sir. It's not like I've never watched over his lordship while he slept. I'll send Doctor Caruthers out directly." Beecham put his hand on the doorknob, "Master Nicolas and Master Robert are very like their father." With a slight bow, he proceeded into the room. Jonathan couldn't decide if he should be pleased or terrified by the thought. From the look on Ian's face he had the same dilemma. Jose smirked at both of them. _His_ sons hadn't been mentioned. Jonathan brought his wayward thoughts back to the present and turned to their visitor.

"That looks uncomfortable."

"Um, it is, actually. Who's Devon?"

"He's our doctor. We've told him about you and me, I mean Jack and, and all that." Doctor Daniel frowned and Jonathan wished he would take off that blasted mask.

"Do you trust him?" The question surprised Jonathan.

"Of _course_ I trust him. _We_ trust him."

"Jonathan, I wouldn't be asking this if it weren't important. Do you trust him with your world?" Jonathan bit back his knee jerk reaction and looked into the man's face. Doctor Daniel looked pointed down to Jonathan's belly and then back up. Jonathan felt the blood drain from his face. _She told him!_ Rather than just stand there, he moved to his chair and sat heavily while his mind raced. What was he asking? He was grateful Doctor Daniel was keeping his secret, but what did it mean? How much _did_ he trust Devon? Then, he realized he didn't need to think about it anymore.

"Yes, Daniel. I trust him with _everything_." Before Doctor Daniel could respond Devon emerged from the bedroom, carefully closing the door behind him.

"Devon, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Doctor Devon Caruthers, meet _Doctor_ Daniel Jackson." The two men shook hands or rather Doctor Daniel shook Devon's hand. Jonathan had the impression that their visitor recognized him. Devon looked like he was going in to shock as he got a good look at the man behind the facemask.

"My god, I almost didn't believe them when they told me but you look just like him! You're an archeologist, right?" Doctor Daniel started to speak, but Devon kept right on. "You really _are_ from a," he turned quickly to Jonathan, not releasing the hand he grasped. "What did you call it?" He whipped back to the suited man a huge grin lighting his face. "An alternate universe? This is _incredible_! We have to tell people! Jonathan, I know you and his lordship wanted us to keep this quiet, but we _can't _ keep this to ourselves!"

"You have to! Please, if you haven't told anyone else yet, you've _got_ to keep this quiet." Doctor Daniel's voice, though muffled, carried the same tone as their Daniel's voice when he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"We haven't told anyone, but Daniel did call his father and ask him to return as soon as he could." Before Doctor Daniel could ask Jonathan added, "He didn't tell him why, just that there was business that required his presence." His husband's counterpart relaxed.

"Good. That's, that's good." He reached up in a familiar gesture as if to run his hand through his hair only to stop and look at his hand then shake his head in annoyance. "Look, we've got to talk and it has to stay within this room until we figure out what to do." Jonathan waved the others to sit and they spent a moment getting comfortable. Jose sat in another armchair with Ian perched on the arm. Devon chose a spot at the end of one sofa and Doctor Daniel carefully sat where Beecham had been. Ian jumped up and moved the dirty dishes away and poured drinks for everyone but Jonathan and their guest. Raised eyebrows in Jonathan's direction asked the obvious question.

"Parker's bringing me something to settle my stomach." Ian turned to their guest who held his arms out helplessly.

"Don't worry about me. I've got water, if I get thirsty enough." The scowl told Jonathan what their guest thought of that. He glanced at Jonathan and smiled. "I think my doctor would just shoot me if I drank anything here that she hadn't approved."

"She's little but very, very scary."

"She?" Devon sounded as awed as he looked.

"Beautiful, too." Ian, having returned to his place on Jose's chair sighed. "As is Samantha." He spoke her name with obvious reverence. Jonathan knew that Ian had never been attracted to women before they all died, but he understood the man's emotion. They drew him, too. They represented everything their Earth had lost. "But your Jack's gorgeous, too." He yelped when Jose goosed him. "Verrrry hot." He tried to get up, but Jose grabbed him around the waist and dragged him into his lap.

"Wait, when did you see them? You didn't bring _women_ with you!" Jonathan didn't want to believe it not after what he'd heard while on their Earth.

"No! No, they saw them through the qua, uh, through the mirror. They were watching me when I came through, making sure everything was all right." A sound from the other armchair drew Jonathan's attention.

"I can see I'm going to have to keep you away from Jonathan from now on." Jose growled and started to tickle Ian but stopped before it got out of hand.

"Are they always like this?" Jonathan smiled at Doctor Jackson's perplexed question.

"Not always, but enough to be annoying." The other two were still wrestling quietly in their chair, which wasn't easy as it really wasn't big enough for both of them. "C'mon, you two, cut it out."

"Spoilsport. I had him right where I wanted him." _Ha!_ Jonathan thought. _I know exactly where you want him and it's not in that chair._ He wondered if he should ever tell them about the fond memories he had of that particular chair. Maybe he would, but he'd save it for later. Much later. Ian kissed his partner and Jonathan watched as they settled back as they had been only this time Ian had his arm around Jose's shoulder and Jose rested one hand on Ian's thigh. Both faces reflected that reality had sunk in again, the moment of play gone.

"So, you didn't bring the women, either. That's good."

"Nope, just me."

"But I take it you didn't come just to say hello."

"No, actually, but before we get to that, what's wrong with your Daniel?" Devon launched into a quick recital of Daniel's symptoms. Starting with the initial breakdown he then described the mood swings, confusion, headaches and tremors. Doctor Daniel laid his satchel on the table and started pulling files and bundles of papers clipped together from it placing them in piles. He scowled while he listened and dug through them until he found what he was looking for. Scooting awkwardly toward Devon he opened the file on the table before both of them.

"Look at this. Doctor Frasier sent this for you, well, for _a_ doctor, to see. Do you recognize these chemicals?" Devon bent over the pages and started firing questions at their guest. Doctor Daniel answered as best he could, but even Jonathan could tell he was out of his depth. Devon expanded a little on what their guest had been told during Jonathan's and Daniel's visit, even talking about the care given to babies immediately after birth. Almost all of them had some minor deficiencies of some kind, but there were effective treatments that took care of it within days. Between the two of them, though, Devon apparently managed to find enough common ground with what he _knew_ to start making sense of what he _read_. He paged through the reports, eventually reaching over to those Doctor Daniel had left on the other side of the table. Devon's expression became more and more grim.

During one of the exchanges that left the other three completely lost, there was a knock on the door and Parker entered bearing a tall glass on a silver tray. Jonathan tried not to laugh, but the size of the man's eyes as he got a good look at their outlandishly clad visitor was almost too much. Parker placed his drink on the side table and waited for further orders. Speaking low so as not to disturb the two doctors Jonathan said, "its okay, Parker, he's a friend. But," he held up one finger for emphasis, "under no circumstances is anyone to know he's here. It's a," he searched for the right word, "a delicate situation." Parker relaxed. He understood delicate situations. Jonathan's early relationship with his master had also been 'delicate'.

"Very good, sir, if there's nothing else?" Jonathan shook his head and Parker retreated as quietly as he came.

During his brief exchange with Parker, their visitor had started filling them on his doctor's findings as well as some of their suspicions. Jonathan could tell there was something he was holding back. He knew that face too well. He'd already recognized that the two men were much alike and Daniel could never hide anything from Jonathan for long. Finally, with a muttered curse, Devon threw the file he was reading on the stack in front of him and stood.

"What the hell do you think you're pulling? What do you hope to prove with this," he waved his hand dismissively at the scattered papers, "this _crap_!"

Doctor Daniel placed his hand on his facemask then pulled the hand into a fist in obvious frustration. Jonathan could almost see the desired action, that hand rubbing his eyes while he thought. "I'm not trying to _pull_ anything. We're trying to _help_!"

"Help? With this, this _fiction_? I don't know what kind of medicine they practice on _your_ world, but here we deal in _facts_ not _fantasies_!" Devon stalked over to the sideboard and poured himself a glass of wine. He downed it in one gulp and turned back to them. "Those results are preposterous! Half of those chemicals don't even _exist_. There's no way they could have been in his lordship's blood unless," he narrowed his eyes at their visitor who by now was standing and beginning to look alarmed, "unless _your people_ put them there!"

"Devon!" Jonathan raised his voice to break through the other man's tirade. He knew Devon. He was just getting started. "They didn't do _anything_ to us except be nice and feed us and offer their help. And keep your voice down." Devon still looked angry, but a little guilt at the thought that he might have disturbed his patient tempered the anger. "Doctor Frasier, well," Jonathan studied his hands, "lets just say I wasn't very nice to her when I met her and leave it at that." For once he was glad he couldn't see Doctor Daniel's face. He was embarrassed enough by his behavior. "I apologized and she was the soul of compassion and professionalism when she examined me."

"What about the side effects of the fertility treatments? Do you know what causes them?" Doctor Daniel's voice was calm and conciliatory all the while he was essentially interrogating Devon. Jonathan glanced at Jose who nodded approvingly. Jose had been a high ranking member of Seguridad Nacional de California before. He'd come north to marry Daniel as part of an arrangement between his great uncle, the Don of California, and Lord Jackson. One of Daniel's cousins had married into the Don's family. Such exchanges had been done for centuries to cement diplomatic relations between nations, but now the Reproductive Council occasionally 'suggested' such matches to ensure genetic diversity. These days he handled the estate's security and acted as a consultant for Cascadia's regional police force. Jose had remarked in the past how impressive it was that their Daniel could usually get anyone to talk about anything, but he relied on his position and the devotion, or the implied threat, that position accorded him. This Daniel had honed his skills in ways Jonathan didn't really want to think about. Even after hearing about their SGC and the ongoing war with the Goa'uld, it bothered him to think of any Daniel being put in such danger.

"There are no persistent side effects! Those that are reported by fertile men are the result of stress caused by doing their duty to society." Even Jonathan could hear the rote quality to Devon's declaration. He idly wondered what _his_ counterpart would do right now.

"Then what's wrong with Lord Cascadia?" Again, the quiet almost submissive voice.

"I don't _know_!" Devon sank back down on the sofa and covered his face. "God help me, I don't know."

"Then isn't it _possible_ that those chemicals _are_ in his bloodstream and _they're_ causing it?" The submissive quality shifted and became cajoling.

"Yes! No! Damn!" Devon looked at the other man on the sofa. "Doctor Jackson, those chemicals shouldn't even _exist_! I have no idea what they might do. They're _impossible_!" Doctor Daniel chuckled.

"This isn't a laughing matter, Daniel!" It had taken several attempts, but Doctor Daniel had eventually gotten Devon to call him by his first name.

"I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you. It's just that for a moment you reminded me of Sam, Samantha. She's always telling me something's impossible, at least until she figures out a way to do it." He grinned at Devon, who couldn't help but grin back.

"What kinds of things?"

"Oh, just, y'know," he waved his hand vaguely, "work stuff." Now it was Jonathan's turn to laugh. He'd heard about some of Doctor Daniel's 'work stuff'. It _did_ sound impossible. Devon looked askance at Jonathan who mouthed "I'll tell you later" as his chuckles slowly died down.

"What kind of equipment did your Doctor Frasier use to examine these chemicals?"

Their guest blinked behind his mask. "I have no idea." Seeing the discontent etched in the other man's face, he continued, "Most of what I know about medicine I've learned either in first aid courses or from, well, from being a patient." A pained, haunted look crossed his face to be quickly replaced with a calm facade. Jonathan wondered what particular memory had sparked that expression.

"I need to go there." Devon made his announcement while looking directly at Jonathan. "If there's any chance that something _I've_ been doing is making him ill, I _need_ to know!" The doctor's anguished expression almost convinced Jonathan on the spot. As First Consort, these decisions fell on him when Daniel was unavailable. He glanced at Jose and Ian, but they'd been silent since their wrestling match. Jose shrugged and Ian nodded his head at Jose as if to say, "I'm with him." This was too far out of their experience. It was too far out of _anyone's_ experience. Jonathan hardly thought that one foolhardy trip to Doctor Daniel's Earth made him an expert, but he was the only one they had. For the moment, it was his decision. He hated that but he also knew once Lord Jackson arrived, he didn't think he'd be able to override the older man. This told Jonathan all he needed to know about what he was going to do. Jonathan chewed his lip and ran his hands over his face. An idea had been forming ever since they had returned home. He'd been trying to ignore it. It was an impossible idea that had no hope of working. Then, Daniel's illness effectively drove it from his mind. Until now. He almost allowed himself to hope.

"Daniel, will your people allow it?"

Doctor Daniel nodded, paused and then nodded more vigorously. "Yes, I think they will," he glanced at Devon, "at least as long as there's no risk of infecting our world."

"No, no risk. No one here carries the virus." Devon's words sent a chill down Jonathan's spine. "Only a few men have been found to continue to carry the virus after they're exposed to it. They've been put in isolation and kept away from the rest of the population while researchers try to come up with a cure or at least a vaccine. They've had limited success." Devon added sadly. Jonathan had never really thought about this before, but now it hit him with blinding clarity. It should have occurred to him when Doctor Frasier questioned them about it, but there was too much else on his mind at the time. Too much strangeness. Jonathan wondered why Daniel hadn't thought of it, that's the kind of thing he'd usually have noticed. His illness must have been clouding his mind even then. Either that or the presence of the strange chemicals led Jonathan to make the leap. That and the realization that their guest wasn't telling them everything. Jonathan decided this must be what he'd been leaving out. He half-hoped he was wrong. But what if he wasn't... what if he _wasn't_.

"Devon, if none of us carry it," Jonathan found he had trouble getting the rest of the question out. "If none of us carry it, just how do our children get it?" Devon started to speak, to probably say he didn't know and then he looked down at the scattered papers he'd just been going through. The color leached from his face and he grabbed the sofa as if to keep from falling off. Jonathan knew what was going through the other man's mind, because it was the same thing going through his. All the reproductive drugs and the initial treatments required by their babies came from a single source which was controlled by the Reproductive Council. Their eyes met and Jonathan nodded.

"No. NO! I don't believe it!" Devon's voice didn't sound as certain as his words. "Do you know what you're implying, Jonathan? Do you know what that would _mean_?"

"Devon, we don't know anything." Doctor Daniel's calm, conciliatory tone was back. "Let's see if we can find out." Devon nodded and Jonathan decided it was time to act.

"Right. That's settled. Devon, grab the birthing kit and let's get going." Jonathan started the long process of trying to get out of his chair.

"Jonathan? Just where do you think _you're_ going?" Ah, Ian. And he had _that_ tone in his voice.

"I'm going with them." He held up a hand to forestall continued argument. "And we're taking Daniel with us."

The argument between Devon, Jose and Ian raged in hushed tones for the entire time it took Jonathan to change clothes and instruct Beecham to pack a bag for himself and Daniel. It's not that they didn't want Devon, Jonathan and Daniel to go. They wanted to go, too. As Jonathan had pointed out before heading into the bedroom, they needed to remain to keep up appearances. He took Beecham into the suite's bathroom to let him know what was going on and that he relied on the servant to help keep their absence a secret. It wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't going to be for long, but it was imperative that no one else find out about this. Beecham swore to secrecy with one exception. He wouldn't lie and he wouldn't omit anything if Lord Jackson asked about his son. Jonathan hadn't expected anything less and just instructed him to speak to his father-in-law in private.

By the time Jonathan returned to the sitting room, the battle was over. Jose was slamming down wine like there was no tomorrow. This might have been a problem except Jonathan had never known Jose to become drunk on wine. The man had an incredible tolerance for the stuff. Ian was still stalking around the room looking more than ready to rip the head of anyone who came within reach. He had to get control of this before one of them did something stupid.

"Guys?" Jonathan held his arms out and after a moment's hesitation from both of them, they came to him and they stood in a three way hug. Jonathan pulled away, still with an arm draped around both men's shoulders. "I know you want to come with us and I wish there was a way to do that, but there's not. I'd love to show you this place and the _people_. But the important thing is that they might be able to help Daniel. They might be able to help _all_ of us, but we need Devon and Doctor Frasier to get together and do their thing. With both Daniel and I there, they've got men to study right at hand." He could see he was getting through to them. He knew he had to tell them the rest. It was killing him, but they had to know why it had to be _him_ who went with Daniel. He squeezed them both a little. "There's another reason I have to be the one to go."

"That's an easy on, knucklehead." Jose ran his hand up into Jonathan's hair and gently tugged his head back and forth a couple of times. With his other hand, he stroked Jonathan's belly, grinning when the baby head butted his hand. "See? He wants to go, too."

Jonathan knew the tears were coming and he didn't see any way to stop it. It was all too much and Jose's words crashed through his carefully built walls. He felt Jose's arms come around him while Ian ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his back gently. As his harsh sobs died down he finally heard the soft murmurs of the other two men. He felt Ian kiss his shoulder and then there was a cold spot where he'd been. Jonathan raised his head from where he'd rested it on Jose's shoulder to look for the smaller man. "It's all right, mi poco corazon, he's just getting you something so you can wipe your face." Jose pulled him forward and leaned up to plant a kiss on his forehead then hugged him close again. Jonathan couldn't help but smile through his tears. They each expressed their protectiveness in different ways. Daniel hovered, Ian mothered and Jose got touchy-feely. And he did it in Spanish. "We've been there, mi amor, we know what it's like." Jonathan nodded, though he knew Jose hadn't ever faced this particular terror. Nothing terrifies like hope and for the first time in a very long time, Jonathan felt hope.

Ian returned and handed him a warm, damp cloth. He took it from him before the other man could wash his face for him. Ian looked a little embarrassed, which told Jonathan he'd been right. Ian was the worst of them all when it came to mothering everything in sight. The slightly red-faced man put his arm around Jose who still had one hand in Jonathan's hair. "Look, guys, there's more going on here than you know." He tossed the damp rag onto the floor and put a hand on each man's shoulder. "Yes, it's important for Devon and Doctor Frasier to have a pregnant man to refer to." Daniel would never let him live down being reference material. "So, I'm handy. I'm the logical choice."

"There's more to it, isn't there, hon." Ian looked at Doctor Daniel. "There's something you're not telling us." He looked back at Jonathan. "But you know what it is, don't you." He should have known he'd never get anything past them.

"You're right. There's something I haven't told you, yet. Daniel doesn't know, either and I think it's just as well that he not find out. At least not until there's no other choice."

"Out with it, Jonathan." And then Jose would jump right back to brusque.

"Well, since you asked so _nicely_." He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes one last time. "I'm going to have a girl." He looked into Ian's shocked eyes and then into Jose's grief-stricken ones. Jonathan leaned in to plant a comforting kiss of his own on the side of Jose's head then continued to hold him close. They knew what it was like to watch their daughters sicken and die in their arms over a matter of days. After Jose's daughter died, he was silent for almost two weeks. Jonathan spent most of that time touching him, holding him. More tears than words were shared, but it was healing for the both of them. Later, Jonathan found that Ian and Daniel had spent their time similarly, when they weren't trying to entice the others to eat or bathe or sleep.

"You must go, mi corazon. You must do what you can to give your, no, _our _ daughter a chance." Jonathan felt the tears start up again. He sniffed and found a hankerchief in hovering over his hand.

"Thanks, Devon." He used it and then pulled each of his husband's consorts, _NO,_ he thought, _I think we just moved beyond that._, he pulled each of _his_ husbands into a full body hug and kissed each one deeply. He pulled back and gently wiped the tears from Jose's face then cupped his hand around Ian's cheek. "We'll be back as soon as we can." With that, he sniffed one last time, turned to the others in the room and asked, "Okay, who's going to carry Daniel?"

* * *

"What does he think he's _doing_?" Jack had been in and out of the mirror room since Daniel left. Gone were Carter's gadgets and Daniel's books. In their place was an array of medical equipment and a hospital bed. It was well short of the twelve-hour limit but he'd stopped in on his way to see the general. The SFs on duty had been about to report activity on the other side when he'd walked in. "Damnit Daniel!" The object of his ire couldn't hear him on the other side of the mirror, but he'd certainly get an earful when he got here. Jack approached the mirror. He shook his head and waved his arms trying to dissuade him from what appeared to Jack to be a massive mistake. As far as Jack was concerned they were just plain lucky that Lord Daniel and Jonathan had been clear of the virus. But Daniel was bringing them back. It looked like he was also bringing the bio guy from SG7 with him. Creamer or whatever his name was. He and Daniel were supporting Lord Daniel who appeared to be barely conscious. They were each carrying bags in addition to the one Daniel had taken with him. Jack could see Jonathan standing right behind them with his hand on Lord Daniel's shoulder when Daniel raised his hand to touch the mirror. Jack held his hands up once more and mouthed, "Wait!" before turning to the airmen in the room, "Abbott! Sims! Out, now! And get Frasier into the observation booth! Contamination protocol!" Once the door was secure, he glared at his friend through the mirror. He should have been on the other side of the door with Abbott and Sims, but that conversation in the storeroom haunted him. Then they were on this side of the mirror being drenched in the decontamination mist. "Damnit, Daniel!"

"Jack! Given Devon a hand and get Daniel on the bed." Jack wanted nothing more than to rip Daniel a new one and maybe the other Daniel, too, just because. Instead, he helped Carstairs get the obviously ill man into the waiting bed. His anger would have to wait. They had a situation and the sooner he got control of it, the better. Jack hated these kinds of emergencies. He'd much rather have enemies to shoot at. Maybe he'd shoot Daniel later. Jack watched his friend and future victim struggle with his containment suit for about thirty seconds with frankly ineffectual help from Jonathan before he batted the pregnant man's hands away and nodded to the bed.

"What's up with your Daniel?" Jack quickly stripped his Daniel out of the bulky suit and shoved it into his hands to deal with. He leaned close so only Daniel could hear him. "You are in _so_ much trouble right now."

"When am I _not_ in trouble, Jack?" He whispered back. Now out of the clumsy suit he juggled it for a moment trying to find a way to carry it without tripping while he looked around for somewhere to put it. He finally walked over to the corner where all the bags had been dropped and just dumped it next to them. Jack rolled his eyes, but decided that was the least of their worries. At least it was out of the way.

"Daniel had a breakdown of some kind yesterday. Since then he's been tired, confused and has a killer headache." Jack knew that tone having heard it coming out of his mouth more times than he cared to remember. Jonathan was, if possible, even more exhausted than he looked.

Jack and Daniel joined Jonathan who was trying to calm his husband and Crenshaw who was busily connecting his patient to various monitors. Jack heard him mutter from time to time apparently trying to figure out what one piece or another did. He took a good long look at Lord Daniel who was lying flat on his back looking around the room almost like he had the first time.

"It's okay, love, you're safe. You've been sick. We brought you back through the mirror to see if they can help you." Jonathan kept on telling the confused man where he was and what was happening, but Jack wasn't sure it was helping.

"Jon'than?" Jack realized he was looking at him. He had no idea if he should deny it or go along with the confused man.

"Shh, I'm here, hon." Now he was looking at Jonathan.

"B-b-but then who's that?" Lord Daniel struggled to sit up. Jonathan helped him and then took him in his arms rocking him a little and murmuring to him. His Daniel tugged on his sleeve and indicated they should move away. Jack followed him, more shaken by the other man's illness than he'd expected. Jack's stomach clinched. He'd seen his friend stretched out on an infirmary bed looking like that more times than he could count. In pain, confused, scared. Jack's head reminded him that his friend was standing next to him, but his heart ordered him to go to the sick man.

"I thought it might be easier for him if he couldn't see us at the moment." Jack nodded. No way did he want to get involved if he could help it. _Yeah, right, like that was going to happen._ He was involved and he was in deep. Jack didn't want to care what happened to these men, but he knew it was too late. He cared. He cared enough to have set up this mission for the sole purpose of getting Jonathan here so maybe his daughter would survive. It galled him that he was allowing his personal feelings to interfere with his job, but this was one he couldn't walk away from, no matter how much his head told him he should. Naturally, Daniel was bearing the brunt of his anger and knowing how wrong _that_ was just made it worse. Jack felt like he was on an emotional rollercoaster. He needed a vacation. Taking in his friend's worn face, Jack realized he probably did, too. He felt his anger drain away.

"I couldn't just leave them there, Jack! Their own government is doing this to them!" Daniel did this to him every time. He'd do something Jack _knew_ was dangerous and wrongheaded but then he'd hit every button Jack had to get him to go along. Nine times out of ten it ended up being the right thing to do and nobody got hurt. It was the tenth time that always ended in bloodshed. The worst of it was that Jack didn't think Daniel was manipulating him on purpose. If he thought he was, it wouldn't work nearly as well. No, he was just being Daniel.

"I know, Daniel. You're just being _you_."

Daniel gave him a quizzical look. "Jack, _you_ were the one who was planning on bringing Jonathan here in the first place." Jack hung his head. "Don't tell me you changed your mind." Daniel had his arms crossed but hadn't gotten to the self-hug that had been his trademark early on.

"Crap, Daniel, I don't know anymore." Jack scrubbed his face with both hands and ran one through his hair. "This is all just so..."

"Confusing? Weird? Like being on a rollercoaster that goes on forever?"

"You didn't tell me you picked up mind reading while you were hanging out with Oma." Daniel bumped shoulders with him and gave him a quick smile.

"Uh, no. I've just been spending _way_ too much time with you."

"Yeah, well, it's getting weird hearing you do your Shirley MacLaine thing on me."

"I'm not sure weird is the word I'd use. Maybe terrifying or..."

"Aht!" He bumped Daniel's shoulder back. He knew the pit was still waiting to swallow him, but Daniel was a lifeline of sorts. He wasn't alone this time. This time would be different. "Let's see what's what before Frasier gets here." He checked the observation booth, but it was still empty.

"I thought it might be a good idea to bring Doctor Caruthers along to talk with Janet." They moved slowly toward the bed.

"Caruthers! That's his name. It was driving me crazy." Lord Daniel was calmer and seemed to be drifting off to sleep. Jonathan was leaning heavily against the bed, still holding the sick man's hand and running his other hand gently over his hair.

"I beg your pardon?" Caruthers turned as the two men approached.

"You're, or rather the other you, is on SG7. He's new. I'm terrible with names." Jack held his hand out to the newcomer, "Colonel Jack O'Neill."

"They told me you were military, but it didn't seem real." He looked back and forth between Jack and Jonathan then shook his head. "I guess you people are used to this sort of thing."

"Nope. Never get used to it. Don't want to." Jack looked back over his shoulder again and wondered what was keeping Frasier. Daniel had gotten one of the tall stools from the edge of the room and was currently urging Jonathan to sit down. Nodding toward the patient, Jack asked, "How's he doing?"

Caruthers shook his head. "Not well, but the periods of confusion are getting shorter. His headache is getting worse, though, and he's sleeping too much. His body's not regulating his temperature as well as it should. At least the mood swings seem to be over." Caruthers studied one of the monitors for a moment. "This equipment is very similar to ours, but it's different enough. I'm not _completely_ certain what it's telling me." Jack looked at him, his eyebrows raised. The other man smiled at him. "You're so much like Jonathan. It's uncanny. But then they're," indicating the Daniel on the bed and the one currently speaking quietly to Jonathan, "a great deal alike, too." He shook his head again. "This is just too strange."

"Strange is pretty normal around here. Doctor Caruthers, isn't it?" _Finally,_ Jack thought as he whipped around to see Frasier bending over to talk into the microphone in the observation booth.

"Ah, good to see you, Doc." Jack turned back to the man next to him and rolled his eyes. "Here we go again." That earned him a glare from Daniel who still stood by Jonathan, one hand resting on the man's shoulder. "Doctor Caruthers, meet Doctor Janet Frasier."

"They told me you were beautiful, but," Jack could see the man was on the verge of tears. Looks like he wasn't the only one having trouble getting a handle on his emotions. He looked back up at Frasier. Jack had never really paid much attention to her looks. It was easier to just not notice subordinates. He'd learned that lesson a long time ago. Now, for just a moment, he tried to see her with the eyes of the man next to him and he had to admit she was very attractive. Especially since she wasn't shining that damned penlight of hers into his eyes.

"They did, did they? Well, thank you, Doctor, that's very kind of you." If Jack hadn't known better, he'd have thought the SGC's tiny terror was blushing, but _that_ was _obviously_ a trick of the light. "How's your patient? The colonel indicated there might be danger of a contagion. I thought Lord Daniel was immune to the virus."

Caruthers bristled at her words. "Doctor Frasier, I will not have his lordship insulted. His title is Lord _Cascadia_." Before she could respond, Jonathan's voice drew their attention. He spoke softly, probably in deference to the sleeping man, but Jack thought it might be all he had the energy for. He seemed to fading right before their eyes.

"Relax, Devon, it's not like that. They," he waved his hand to indicate Jack, Daniel and Frasier, "don't seem to have any nobility or anything like that. 'Lord Daniel' was a compromise that _Daniel_ approved. They don't mean anything by it."

Caruthers still seemed ready to take exception to what he apparently saw as a deadly insult. Jack wondered if he was going to challenge someone to a duel. "Doctor, my apologies, Jonathan's right. Your Daniel, Lord Cascadia," she amended, "thought it would be easier than having us try to remember to call him such an unfamiliar name." The doctor still wasn't happy, but he appeared to be willing to drop it for now as he proceeded to answer Frasier's question. They drifted off into medical-speak and Jack tuned them out. Frasier would report what he needed to know later.

Moving over to stand next to the bed, Jack looked between the man on the bed and the man on the stool. He kept his voice quiet. "How ya doin'?" Jonathan shrugged.

"Tired. Worried. Pregnant. Tired of being pregnant." Jack nodded. He remembered Sara saying much the same thing.

"Y'know, you could go home and," the other man's expression stopped him. "Or you could just hang out here."

"I'm staying." He looked insulted at the very idea. "Would _you_ leave?" Jack tried to put himself into the other man's shoes. If someone he loved had been lying there, he doubted he'd be willing to leave either. Jack glanced at Daniel and a montage of images of his friend lying in the infirmary ran through his head. He'd stayed with him more often than not, usually having to be run out by Frasier or the general. He shied away from the implications and quickly reminded himself of the times he'd stayed at the bedside of other teammates over the years. He didn't like the comparisons he found. Once again he was being taken places he really didn't want to go. Jack tried to tell himself that it was just because _Daniel_ seemed to have such a knack for getting hurt. _Yeah, Jack, tell yourself another one._ He shook his head.

"Jonathan, no one's going to make you leave him." Daniel patted the tired man's shoulder and Jonathan nodded. "We're just concerned about you." Jonathan nodded.

"Devon's right. You're a lot like my Daniel." He gave them both a tired smile then gasped and sat up straight, twisting a little and rubbing his abdomen. Again, Jack flashed on Sara when she was pregnant. Daniel, for all his experience actually delivering babies, didn't seem to have had much experience with actual pregnancies. His face went white and gripped Jonathan's shoulder tightly.

"W-what is it? Jonathan? Are you all right?" Jonathan nodded, but his face was still reflecting the obvious discomfort he was feeling.

"Take it easy, Daniel, I think the baby just turned wrong." Jack wished they'd brought in another bed, but they'd only been expecting one patient. Jonathan looked like he seriously needed some horizontal time. He wandered toward the observation window where Caruthers and Frasier were still deep in discussion. The general stood behind Frasier and looked like he was getting about as much of the conversation as Jack was. Once in a while he'd look over toward the bed and scowl. Then he'd look at Jack and the scowl would deepen. Jack started to ask the dynamic duo to cut to the chase, but the general beat him to it.

"Doctor Frasier, is the base in any danger?" Frasier folded her hands in front of her and looked at Caruthers who shook his head with confidence.

"Not at this time, sir. None of the men in the isolation room carry Nirrti's virus."

"Doc, what does _that_ mean?" He really hated it when scientists got cagey. "Yes" or "no" was what he wanted to hear. Nice and clean. Actually, "no" was all Jack wanted to hear. Jack met the general's eyes. It seemed he wasn't particularly pleased with her answer, either.

"Answer the colonel, Doctor Frasier. Are we in any danger or not?"

"Sir, could I speak to you privately?" The tone in Frasier's voice sent Jack's internal warning system to DEFCON 3.

"Of course," General Hammond gestured for Doctor Frasier to follow him as he headed to the door. "If you'll excuse..."

"Doctor Frasier?" Caruthers interrupted the general. "It's not necessary. We knew Daniel was holding something back and we figured out what you suspect." Jack glared over his shoulder at his friend who had the good grace to look embarrassed. "Colonel, don't blame him. You forget how well we know Lord Cascadia." Caruthers smiled as he turned back toward the observation window. "They're very much alike."

"So, that means, what?" Jack's patience in these situations wasn't unlimited and he was losing what little he had very quickly.

"It means that we brought a birthing kit with us." He pointed to the bag Jonathan had been carrying. Frasier looked just a little less confused than the general. Jack didn't need a mirror to know how confused he was.

"And, so, therefore?" He made a 'get on with it' gesture to the other man. Caruthers took a deep breath and 'got on with it'.

"It means that _if_, and I do mean _if_, our children are being deliberately infected with Compton's virus, the infectious agent," his face had gone white and he seemed to be having trouble continuing.

"It means," Jonathan's quiet, tired voice carried in the silence, "it's being spread through the supplements given to babies immediately after birth and they're in the birthing kit." General Hammond did not look happy. Jack tried to remember the last time he looked this not happy and decided it was a tie between the time he, Daniel and Carter got banned from O'Malley's during the armband fiasco and any time Simmons had been on base. Daniel had only thought he was in trouble. Jack had a feeling the man was going to be on the general's list for a very long time.

"Is it safe to break quarantine?"

"Yes, sir. We'll need to secure the birthing kit and keep it properly contained, but the men pose no threat." Frasier looked like all her Christmas wishes had just come true. Nothing like a freakish alien virus to get her blood pumping. He felt a brief moment of pity for her ex-husband.

"See to it, Doctor." She rose and didn't quite run from the observation room. "Doctor Jackson, once you've been released from quarantine, I'd like to see you in my office." _Here it comes, Danny boy._

"Of course, general." Daniel was putting on a good front, but he hated being chewed out by the general almost as much as Jack did.

"Colonel, I'd like to see you when I've finished with Doctor Jackson. I think we need to have a discussion about the nature of contamination protocols."

"Yes, sir! Looking forward to it, sir!" The general smiled a not particularly nice smile at him before turning on his heel and striding out of the observation booth. This was definitely a new level of not happy for the general and generals had a lovely habit of spreading the not happiness around. He knew he should have left the room before the others came through, but he had to see this through.

Frasier erupted through the door followed by an eerily quiet flow of personnel. Jack snagged Daniel and dragged him out of the way as some descended on the patient and Frasier led Abbott and Sims to what Jack figured must be the birthing kit. They were carrying a case with the not reassuring biohazard symbol on the side. She placed the kit into it herself and watched closely as they sealed it.

"I can't decide if I want them to find the virus in there or not." Daniel kept his voice low.

"Yeah." Jack knew what he meant. "Damned if you do,"

"Damned if you don't." Daniel finished the thought.

"Still, it might mean,"

"Yeah. _That_ would be great, wouldn't it?" Daniel smiled one of his rare broad smiles at the thought of Jonathan's daughter. His smile faded as fast as it appeared when Frasier pinned them both with her eyes and mouthed "infirmary, now" before turning to her patient.

"Guess she told us." Jack headed toward his doom with Daniel at his side.

"Thanks for, y'know." Daniel waved back toward the doorway they'd just emerged from.

"Not a problem. We're gonna get through this." Daniel nodded.

"Assuming we survive our meetings with the general." Daniel sounded as dejected as he looked. "I wonder if there's any chance of an invasion in the next half hour." Jack smiled at the hopefulness in Daniel's voice.

"I was wondering the same thing just the other day. But I was just hoping they'd torch my inbox."

"Think if we saved the world again the general might go easy on us?"

Jack pondered Daniel's question all the way onto the elevator. From the other man's expression, he was pondering, too. Just as the doors closed they looked at each other then back to the doors. "Not a chance in hell," they said simultaneously.

* * *

  
Jonathan lay on his side feeling his daughter moving under his hand and watched the activity around his husband's bed. Devon and Doctor Frasier had both urged him to sleep, but he fought it. Daniel was sleeping for now, but the sight of his all but colorless face coupled with the IV lines and monitor leads all over him frightened Jonathan more than the actual illness. There was something about being in a hospital setting that made the whole thing seem more _real_ than it had in their own home. Daniel had worked himself to exhaustion before and Jonathan realized he'd been reacting to this whole mess as if that's all it was. Tears welled up in his eyes that he quickly blinked away. He knew if he let them go he'd never stop. He felt like a fool. A worried, exhausted, over-emotional, _useless_ fool. They wouldn't even let him sit by his bed.

Devon had reminded him, rather guiltily as Jonathan recalled, that the baby needed him rested. Jonathan remembered having just grunted at him. Devon had never been pregnant and with the on-going revelations about the medicine they'd all been using, he wasn't feeling very trusting of his doctor and friend. It was Doctor Frasier's blunt "Don't make my staff have to pick you up and put you to bed after you fall on your face" that finally got him in this position. He'd never told anyone, but whenever he was pregnant he was paranoid about falling. No one warned him that she was psychic. How anyone could be that small and that scary was beyond him. Maybe he should invite her over to spend a little time with Nicolas and Robert. So far, only Daniel and his father had been able to contain those two for any length of time.

Jonathan sighed. Not that Daniel spent much time with the boys these days. He'd thought it was because he was consumed with work. Dealing with all the stuff the elder Jackson kept sending him ate up most of the time he spent at home. His staff in the capitol did most of the day-to-day work of managing Cascadia, but he still had to spend time doing what Jonathan playfully called "Earl Stuff". He smiled a little remembering how Daniel would scowl at him when it called it that. Now, Jonathan realized it was probably intentional. Daniel had been distancing himself from the children out of fear of what might happen if he lost it. Which brought Jonathan right back to watching the man in the next bed. The baby's head butted his hand and he rubbed the spot absently and slowly blinked back more tears. "It's okay, little one. Dad's going to be fine. You'll see him soon enough." He couldn't have told anyone if the tears were due to fear, dread or, what might prove even worse, hope. A last slow blink and Jonathan was finally asleep.

"I felt like I was twelve years old again being sent to the principal's office for arguing with my history teacher about the fall of the Roman Empire." Daniel was quietly complaining to someone. Probably Ian, who was likely mothering him again.

Jonathan lay there on the cusp of waking. _What's the old man been telling him off for this time?_ He thought he should go ahead and wake up. It seemed like there was something he was supposed to get up and do, but he was still in that warm half asleep state where nothing seemed terribly important but staying right there. As always, the feeling gradually faded and about the time he realized he wasn't in his own bed another voice jolted him completely awake.

"Now, why am I not surprised by that?" Jonathan's eyes flew open and he suddenly remembered where he was and what was happening. On the other side of Daniel's bed sat Doctor Daniel and Jack, sitting side by side on an empty bed as they talked in low voices. Daniel was sleeping and for the first time since his breakdown he looked peaceful, his color was good and he didn't look like he was in any pain. He hoped that was because he was recovering rather than just the presence of some really good painkillers in one of those IVs.

"What, that I was ever sent to the principal's office?" Jonathan watched Jack roll his eyes and then bump his Daniel's shoulder with his own.

"_That_ doesn't surprise me at all. It's just that most boys get sent to the office for skipping school or fighting or something fun. But no, you got in trouble for arguing over history." Jack shook his head in mock disbelief.

"It might be more accurate to say I got _caught_ arguing over history." Jonathan knew that smug little smile. "And it was fun. Mr. Peters was an ass." Oh, yeah, he knew exactly who to blame for his and Jose's sons' ability to get into trouble.

"Oh? So, what _didn't_ you get caught doing?" _I bet he'll never tell you that one, Jack._

"Hey, Jonathan." Doctor Daniel shot an innocent look at Jack as he hopped off the bed and headed toward Jonathan with Jack a couple of steps behind him. "I hope we didn't wake you."

"Forget it, Jack. If he's anything like my Daniel, you'll never find out." He rolled to his back and stretched. "And no, you didn't wake me." Jonathan looked back over to Daniel's bed. "How's he doing? Have they said anything?"

"They said a great deal and I'm sure it was very informative, but I didn't understand more than about three words." Jonathan raised his eyebrows and resisted the urge to throttle the man. "Ah, those were 'he'll be all right".

"Jack, that's four words, one of which is a contraction so that might actually,"

"Don't. Just don't, Daniel." Turning to Jonathan he asked, "Is yours this annoying?"

Jonathan took a long look at the peacefully sleeping man and then back to Jack with a grin, "He has his moments." Daniel would be all right. He felt as if one great weight had been lifted. He was still carrying another, but it was easier to bear knowing his husband would be there for him. Jonathan started trying to sit up and realized he had his hand tangled in something.

"Here, let me help you with that." Doctor Daniel moved to the other side of the bed and helped him unwind the IV tubing and then hit the button on the bed to raise the head.

"What's this?" He raised his hand and followed the tube up to a bag filled with clear liquid.

"Frasier can't stand having someone in here without sticking a needle in." Jack sounded as if he spoke from painful experience. Doctor Daniel shot him a quick look that promised something dire if he didn't shut up.

"It's just fluids and a few nutrients. She and Devon thought it best since you haven't been eating much and," he trailed off. Jonathan looked at him and then at Jack.

"How long was I asleep?" The two men looked at each other but neither came up with a number. Jonathan wanted a number.

"Well, let's see, we both got our asses chewed by General Hammond. Some of us actually went home and slept in our own beds, unlike others who apparently prefer sleeping on keyboards." Doctor Daniel's earlier scowl returned. "Maybe ten or twelve hours. Depends on when you fell asleep." That made sense. He did feel better than he had earlier. Part of it was knowing Daniel was on the mend, but he'd felt better before he knew that.

"Where are the doctors anyway?" Now that he was sitting up, he couldn't see either doctor in the infirmary. Several other beds were occupied and a nurse was doing something at one of them. A couple of the men were talking quietly, apparently trying not to disturb the others. He felt a moment of panic. "What happened to them?"

Daniel looked confused and turned to see what he was looking at. His face had cleared when he turned back. "Oh, SG4 ran into a rockslide on their last mission. That's what Janet was up to yesterday when we got back."

"Oh." For a moment he'd feared they'd been horribly wrong about the virus. The last time he'd seen the inside of a hospital other than Devon's small clinic was when he was a patient with rows of other men who were ill or dying along side him. "Are they going to be okay?" The one the nurse was with looked kind of familiar, but he wasn't sure where he might have seen him before.

"Them? Oh, yeah. Just bumped around some." Jack nodded to the men who were awake then stepped a little closer to the nurse as if to see what she was doing.

"Yeah, Carlos and Tom are being released this afternoon." Doctor Daniel indicated the two men Jack had nodded to. "Howard's already gone home and Jeff should be released day after tomorrow." Jonathan realized where he'd seen 'Jeff' before. He looked back at Daniel and then to his visitors.

"Daniel," the urgency in his voice drew Jack back to his bed. "Please, talk to Doctor Frasier. Don't let my Daniel see him." Jonathan's heart was pounding. Daniel didn't need this right now. He saw the look that passed between the two men. "It's important!"

"Hey, take it easy. Daniel, why don't you go find the doc and see what she can do."

"Sure. I'll get her." Doctor Daniel smiled reassuringly at him and then headed off to find Doctor Frasier.

"So, what's up with your Daniel and Howe?" Jonathan closed his eyes and prayed that Daniel would keep sleeping for a while longer.

"It's," he wasn't sure how to say this. When they were _here_ it was easy to forget some of the more unpleasant aspects of their real lives. Jeffery Howe represented the one that tormented Daniel most. "It's difficult and I'm not sure you'd really understand." Jack looked back at his Jeffery then back to Jonathan.

"Try me."

Jonathan licked his lips and looked down at his hands as he started stroking his belly. It was a nervous habit when he was pregnant. "It's very personal, Jack." He looked at his counterpart standing there looking strong and tall and more fit than Jonathan had looked in a very long time. A flood of conflicting emotions hit him. Embarrassment at his condition, anger at Jack for being _normal_, fear of the look on Daniel's face if he woke to see a stranger he'd probably impregnated. _Daniel would say 'a man he'd raped'._ "Don't make me beg, Jack. Jeffery did nothing wrong. _Daniel_ did nothing wrong, but he never sees it that way. Isn't it enough to know that seeing that man," he gestured toward Jeff, "will hurt him a great deal?" Anger was getting the upper hand now. Was _he_ this stubborn? This uncaring? "I won't let that happen!"

Jack looked at him then turned back to look at Jeff and then around again to look at Daniel. Jonathan could almost see the wheels turning. He _knew_ the man in front of him was intelligent, though he'd already seen how he tried to hide that fact for some unfathomable reason. "Oh. Oh! You mean they," Jack closed his eyes for a moment and waved one hand between them. He seemed as unwilling to say it as Jonathan had been.

"Daniel does his duty." That's all anyone needed to say at home. The rote response reminded him with a jolt of Devon's comment about the effects of the fertility drugs. He hoped Jack understood that some things just weren't discussed any more than they had to be.

"Duty. Yeah." Jack grimaced. "I guess we've all had to do... things in the line of duty." Jonathan had seen that hard look in the mirror, but that was only since the plague had done it's damage and later only when the memories of his dead children couldn't be denied. He wondered just what kinds of things this man had done in doing _his_ duty. Jonathan decided he really didn't want to know. He'd thought of this world as perfect, but the more he saw of what it had done to his counterpart, the less he could believe it. "Anders, could you come over here when you've finished?"

"Yes, sir." The nurse replied quickly then said something to her patient before leaving him. "May I help you, colonel?"

"Set up a privacy screen around these two beds. I'll clear it with Frasier."

"Yes, sir." She walked away and in a few moments Jonathan, Daniel and Jack were secluded from the rest of the infirmary.

"Thank you, Jack." Jonathan felt his anger recede. "I'm still going to ask the doctor to move us somewhere else." Jack nodded just as they heard the click of high heels on concrete. A moment later the curtain opened and suddenly the space was much too small as Doctor Frasier and Doctor Daniel entered.

"Jonathan, it's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?" She didn't wait for his response as she picked up his wrist and started taking his pulse. Having been through this routine he waited until she finished before answering.

"Much better, especially since Jack tells me Daniel's getting better." He couldn't stop smiling.

"Yes, he is. He's doing much better now. We isolated the chemicals that were causing the problem," Jack interrupted her before she could go further.

"Doc, I doubt he wants all the picky details." He looked at Jonathan and raised his eyebrows, "English, right?" Jonathan chuckled.

"Please. In English. I'm sure Devon will give me more of the gory details than I'll ever want to hear." He tried to look behind Doctor Daniel to see if Devon was standing back there. "Where is Devon?"

"He's still in the lab with _our_ Doctor Caruthers. They're working on the supplements from the birthing kit you brought with you." She smiled and tried to stifle a laugh. "Neither one of them was quite ready for the experience. But once they got over the shock, they hit it off pretty well."

"Oh, god, two of them! Your Devon's a doctor, too?"

"Actually, he's a biochemist. Very useful pair of skills for this research."

"Our Devon told me once that he'd seriously considered being a doctor at one point." Daniel hitched one hip up on the edge of Jonathan's bed. "You've never said what you do, or did, before."

"Me? Oh, I was an electrical engineer. Still am. Power generation. I don't do as much hands on work as I used to, but I consult with Daniel's people in the capitol and did some work for Jose's family down in California." He thought they'd gone over this stuff the last time, but maybe not in this detail. "Petrochemicals have had to be almost abandoned because they're too labor intensive, not to mention dirty. We still run vehicles with internal combustion engines, but we're working on something to replace them." _Not that the council ever releases resources for it._ To say that this was a bone of contention for Jonathan was a gross understatement. "It just takes more time and more resources than we've got right now. We were already well on the way to converting to alternate sources for electrical power when the invasion happened. Cascadia is the first region on the continent to go completely off petrochemicals for power generation." He couldn't help the pride in his voice. Daniel had fought for every single power station and when they were turned down for funding, he'd dug into his personal fortune and paid for it himself. Horses were even making a comeback for a lot of agricultural work. They came out of Daniel's pocket as well. He'd insisted that Jose's 'dowry' be made up primarily of good breeding stock. Both draft and saddle horses. Jonathan remembered that argument with his father-in-law quite well. It was... loud.

"You left out that you were the one who came up with the basic design, Jonathan." Jonathan shoved Jack out of the way so he could see his husband more clearly. He lay on his side facing Jonathan, smiling a small warm sleepy smile, his blue eyes shining as if he hadn't seen Jonathan for a month.

"Daniel! You're awake! How do you feel? Does your head hurt? Can I get you anything?" Jonathan struggled to sit up more and tried to swing his legs off the bed only to be stopped by a small hand on the arm with the IV. He looked at Doctor Frasier with annoyance. "What?" He barely registered that Daniel was chuckling at his rapid-fire questions.

"Take it easy. I'd really rather you not get up until after you've eaten something."

"Don't wanna eat. Not hungry. Get this thing out of me." He reached over to take out the needle only to have his hand slapped.

"Jonathan! _I'm_ the doctor here and _I'll_ say when you can get up." He opened his mouth to complain only to be stopped by a stern look. "You're as bad as the colonel and I thought he was the worst patient possible. You can get up _after_ you've eaten, not before."

"Love, why are you in that bed?" Daniel was still smiling a bit, but Jonathan could see the worry lines tensing around his eyes.

"I was tired is all and this was where I could be near you."

"Then why do you have an IV?" Jonathan felt guilty for having caused Daniel to worry when he'd been so sick.

"It's just fluids." He looked at the woman next to him. "Just fluids, right?" Was there something they weren't telling him? "Doctor Frasier, please tell him I'm all right." _And while you're at it, tell me, too._

"All right you two, I see what's happening here and I want it to stop right now." Jonathan met his husband's surprised gaze. "It's bad enough I have to deal with it with these two," she waved a hand at their counterparts, "whenever one of them is in here. You," pointing to Daniel, "are feeling guilty for getting sick and making Jonathan worry." Daniel looked away and a faint flush colored his face. "And _you_," now that stern gaze turned on him, "are feeling guilty for exhausting yourself worrying. Stop it. Both of you. You're both going to be fine and neither of you did it on purpose. Feeling guilty isn't going to help anyone. It will irritate me, though, and it's never a good idea to irritate your doctor." Jonathan noticed that Jack and Doctor Daniel were also looking suitably chastised. She'd apparently hit a nerve.

"Well, technically, Devon's our doctor." Daniel had _that_ look in his eye, the one that said 'because I'm the Earl, that's why'.

"Exactly. We're just on loan." Jonathan graced the doctor with a blinding smile.

"C'mon, Doc, we're not _that_ bad." Jack was noticeably whining.

"Oh, really?" She crossed her arms and stared down her superior officer.

"Um, Jack?" Doctor Daniel was looking anywhere but at the doctor but he kept sneaking glances at Jonathan and the other two men. "She's, um, she's probably right."

Jack mouthed the word 'traitor' and then pulled himself out of his previous slouch. "Well, _Major_, if I'm not needed here, I'll just be going." With that he turned and stalked out of the enclosure, but not before giving his Daniel a dirty look. As if he suddenly realized he was on his own, Doctor Daniel stood up and sidled in Jack's wake.

"I should probably," he pointed over to the opening, "um, be going, too. Glad to see you both are feeling better. Um, I guess I'll see you later." Before he could escape, Doctor Frasier spoke up.

"Daniel, would you mind letting their Devon know they're awake?" Jonathan couldn't help but smile at his startled expression.

"Oh, uh, sure. I'm just going now." With that he all but fled leaving Jonathan, chuckling, Doctor Frasier shaking her head and Daniel looking on in shock.

"Tell me I don't do that, Jonathan."

"Okay, hon, you don't do that."

"God help me."

Doctor Frasier's smile changed from friendly to professional as she approached Daniel's bed and began to give her other borrowed patient a quick exam. Jonathan just watched and soaked up the sound of his husband's voice. He answered her questions clearly with no hesitation, none of the confusion that had marked his illness was apparent. The questions he asked about what had happened showed he remembered little after meeting Ian outside his study. Doctor Frasier explained about the unknown chemicals found in the fertility drugs supplied by Devon and a little about how they were flushing them from Daniel's system. Jonathan held his breath hoping his husband would just let that ride for the moment. Then he filled him in on the high points of his illness at home, but didn't go into detail with Doctor Frasier there. Daniel heard the gaps anyway and Jonathan knew he'd be tackling the problem of how much to tell him later. He didn't even want to think about it, much less talk about it. It was over and that was fine with him. When they were through, Doctor Frasier relaxed a little and leaned against Daniel's bed to wait for Devon.

"Daniel told me that you two want to be moved to a private room."

"We do?" Daniel looked at her and then at Jonathan in surprise. Jonathan thought quickly, he had to come up with a good excuse because he wasn't going to give the real reason. No way.

"We do. Okay, so _I_ want to move." Looking into the expectant faces he plowed on, hoping he could convince them quickly. Daniel would probably see through him, but maybe he was still off enough not to notice. "It's just, well, at home it's not a problem, but here, well..." he trailed off. It wasn't a complete lie. He did feel awkward and on display and embarrassed and it was like it had been back in the beginning. He looked down at his hand rubbing over the bulge that held their daughter. He'd almost forgotten the nightmare of his first pregnancy. It was drown out by the nightmare of the sight of his sill born son and the fear that he'd gone through the whole degrading procedure only to find he'd never be able to carry a living child to term. Jonathan looked up and found his husband looking back, sympathy and understanding in his eyes. Daniel reached out with his hand, and Jonathan could just reach him with his. He blinked back the ever-present tears and squeezed the slightly trembling fingers before letting the other man take his hand back. As much better as Daniel looked, he was still tired and the action seemed to be about as much as he could manage at the moment.

"Ah." Jonathan was grateful for the compassion he could see in Doctor Frasier's face. It could just as easily have been pity or disgust. He'd seen that often enough in the early days. "I understand gentlemen. I'll arrange for you to use one of the isolation rooms for the duration of your visit."

"Thank you, Doctor. That's very kind of you." Daniel looked as if he'd like nothing more but to go back to sleep, but Jonathan knew that expression. He had questions. He always had questions. "As I was waking up, did I hear you say that Devon and, well, Devon were working on the supplements from the birthing kit?"

_Damn,_ thought Jonathan,_ he would have managed to hear that._ He'd hoped they'd have known one way or another before having to tell Daniel about it. Jonathan watched his expressive face and his hope of getting through this easily slowly died. The blood drained from Daniel's face and he gasped.

"My god! Oh, my god!" He stopped, trying to catch his breath, but shock and outright fear had him breathing too fast. Jonathan started heaving himself off his bed. Daniel was starting to hyperventilate. "The supplements! We've been," he was panting despite the doctor's attempts to get him to calm down, "every time! Oh, god, Jonathan! _We_ did it!"

"Anders!" Doctor Frasier yelled for the nurse. Jonathan took her place at Daniel's side while she issued orders to her nurse.

"Love, we didn't know. We still don't _know_ we're just making sure." He was lying and he knew it. No one had any real doubts, not after the tainted fertility drugs had been confirmed. It was the only thing that made sense. He awkwardly hitched himself up on the bed and put his arms around his distraught husband. Daniel's arms went around him desperately as he pressed his face into Jonathan's shoulder nodding as they started to rock together. Panting gave way to wracking sobs and Jonathan felt his shoulder getting wet. He felt corresponding wetness running down his own face. This was why he'd wanted to wait. As long as he was the only one who even suspected, he could keep it together for Daniel's sake. He could lie to himself and pretend he didn't know. Now, now all they could do was share their pain. The scarred edges of half-healed emotional wounds bled anew as guilt sliced through them. Together they grieved again for the little ones they'd lost. Children they'd murdered.

Melbourne and Carlos had been stillborn. With little Elias the miscarriage had come so late that it felt like a stillbirth. When Jose insisted on naming him, no one dissented. Their daughters, though. Jonathan buried his own face in Daniel's hair and sobbed. He could hear Daniel whispering their names over and over, his voice thick and broken. They'd been alive and beautiful and real. He'd held little Claire in her first moments and felt the life flow out of her as she died days later, unknowingly murdered by her own parents. He felt Daniel relaxing in his arms as a gentle hand settled on his shoulder. He looked through tear filled eyes to see Doctor Frasier hand a syringe off to Nurse Anders. She helped him lay Daniel back on the bed. Whatever drug she'd administered had calmed him and he was drifting back to sleep still chanting "Claire, Maria, Claire, Maria" in a thick slurred voice until his swollen, red eyes slid shut and he fell into a drugged sleep.

Jonathan clapped his hand over his mouth as he felt his own grief rising again. He wanted to lay with Daniel and take comfort from his heartbeat, his scent, the brush of his love's breath on his cheek but the bed was too narrow for them both to lie down. He allowed the doctor to ease him off Daniel's bed and urge him onto his own. She was speaking to someone, but he couldn't tell whom. He wanted to ask, to confess, to say anything, but he knew if he opened his mouth he'd start screaming and never stop. He felt like he was going mad. He couldn't do this alone. A small soft hand stroked his hair and another rubbed his shoulder. She murmured to him and offered what comfort she could while he sobbed helplessly into the pillow that was too small and too hard and didn't smell right. Jonathan wanted to go home. Just take Daniel and go home and lay down together in their bed and pretend none of this had happened. Ignorance may not be bliss, but this knowledge, this horrific knowledge was worse. They'd killed their own daughters! Now that the knowledge was shared, he couldn't deny it any longer. He'd killed her. He'd given her the supplements with every feeding. He'd killed her as surely as if he'd put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger.

Large hands replaced small ones and a familiar, dear voice spoke to him. _Daniel?_ He pried open swollen eyes and saw Daniel's gentle eyes looking back. Jonathan lunged for him and held onto him as if he were a life preserver. He didn't let himself think of his sedated husband sleeping in the next bed. The man who rocked him felt right, he smelled right and the gentle soothing voice speaking his name eventually eased his grief enough for him to welcome the darkness when it came for him. If there were any justice in this life, he'd never wake up.

* * *

Daniel rubbed his eyes again and tried to concentrate on the tablet before him. He looked back over his notes and shook his head. It didn't make any more sense in English than it did in the original. It reminded him of some sort of Proto-Sinitic offshoot, but Asian languages weren't his strong suit. He threw his pen down and leaned back in his chair. He was getting nowhere. It would likely have to wait until their resident expert returned. He tried to remember when she was due back from maternity leave and drew a blank. Maternity leave. He'd retreated to his office to try and clear his mind, but everything seemed to remind him of Jonathan and Daniel. There were so many reasons why he didn't want to do that right now. From the moment he heard Daniel's tale he knew he'd have _ things_ to think about. _Was this what Sam went through?_ Then, meeting Jonathan had added a whole new dimension to the matter. Now, this new _thing_ with Jack was getting even weirder. Maybe this was normal, given the circumstances. He rested his elbows on his desk and buried his face in his hands and laughed uneasily. This situation was a lot of things, but Daniel decided the one word that didn't apply was _normal_.

When Janet had called for him to come back to the infirmary, he'd had no idea what he'd find. It hadn't taken long for him to figure it out, even without her hurried explanation. Holding Jonathan while he grieved had seemed the most natural thing in the world and he'd been glad to have been able to offer the other man whatever comfort he could. He'd been surprised by his own feelings of protectiveness towards Jack's other self. Lord Daniel and Jonathan were the men he and Jack might have been and _that_ was the crux of the matter. Daniel knew something Jack didn't. He'd known from the first visit that the two of them had gotten together long before Nirrti invaded. Daniel sighed. Jack would eventually find out. The only question was would it be better for it to just happen, or should Daniel break the news to him. In a way he hoped it could just stay unsaid forever. On the other hand, an aspect of Daniel that he hadn't thought about for a very long time was emerging from the back of his mind and he had no idea what to do about it. Or if he should do _anything_ about it. Just what he needed, another complication. But this wasn't about him and Jack. That problem would have to wait its turn.

Daniel got up to refill his coffee cup and he tried to imagine what the other men must be going through. Jonathan hadn't said a word. He'd just sobbed into Daniel's chest hanging on for dear life before finally falling asleep. _Escaped into sleep, is more like it._ He had nothing really to compare to it. The closest he could come was giving up Shifu to Oma, but he knew that didn't qualify. Shifu had never been his, or maybe only his by proxy. He'd known about him for less than a day before leaving him with Kasuf and then only saw him again when he met Oma. Now, he at least knew Shifu was out there. Somewhere. Perhaps they'd spent time together while he was ascended, but with the memories gone, it might just as well not have happened.

Daniel knew what it was to loose parents, friends, his sweet, beautiful wife. He knew the pain of children never conceived, but to lose a child and then to discover it was by your own hand. He only knew one person who could relate to that. A shiver ran down his spine.

"Idiot! I am an _idiot_!" He leapt out of his chair, stumbling over the trashcan and his own feet in his haste. He had to get to the infirmary. Daniel ran into the corridor grabbing the doorframe to help him change direction without slowing. Running flat out to the elevators he dodged people as best he could. The elevator took an eternity to arrive. He shifted from one foot to the other tapping impatiently on his leg. "Come on!" Finally the doors opened and then he paced the confined space for another eternity on his way to level 21. He spotted the emergency phone. "The phone! Damn! I should have just called her!" He slapped his hand against the wall and cursed. He was out into the corridor before the doors fully opened, knocking down an SF who'd been waiting for the elevator. "Sorry, sorry!" _Hope he's never on an SAR when we're stuck somewhere._ He dashed into the infirmary and skidded to a stop, his heart pounding. "No!" Their beds were empty.

"Daniel?" He whirled and found Jeff Howe looking at him like he'd just sprouted another head. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Fine. I'm, I'm fine. Do you know what happened to them?" He pointed to the now empty beds. He wondered, again, what it was about Jeff that had had Jonathan so upset. What was up with his counterpart?

"Oh, yeah, Doctor Frasier moved them out a little while ago. I think they were going to an iso room." Isolation room. Right! He'd forgotten about that. Daniel started to relax a little. They'd be under better supervision there.

"Thanks, Jeff. Have you seen Janet recently?" This didn't solve the problem, but it might make it easier to deal with.

"I think she was headed to the biochem lab about an hour ago." Jeff seemed to have something else to say, but looked like he had no idea how to go about it.

"Is something wrong?" Daniel was beginning to feel a little foolish for his overreaction. He still needed to talk to Janet, but if Jeff needed something, he could spare him a moment. Or two. Maybe two.

"Just... it's just weird seeing them, y'know?" Jeff rubbed his temple, neatly avoiding the bandage on his forehead. Daniel remembered he'd suffered a minor concussion which was why he was still there after the rest of his team had been released. "It must be even weirder to meet, well, yourself."

_Oh, brother, you have no idea._ Daniel smiled a little. "It's certainly different." Taking one last look at the empty beds, he turned to go find Janet. "Hope you're feeling better." Jeff's response trailed behind him and Daniel was in the corridor again. This time moving at a slightly more civilized pace.

"Janet?" He'd finally tracked her down in the commissary. "Got a minute? I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, Daniel, pull up a chair." He sat down across from her and took in what she had on her tray.

"You're going to _eat_ that?" It looked vile. He glanced back over his shoulder to see who else was in the room with them. It was an off-hour so there weren't many others. He was stalling and he knew it. Maybe he was really overreacting. Daniel lowered his voice and asked, "They didn't let Teal'c in the kitchen again, did they?" He'd tried some of Teal'c's cooking over the years. He hadn't gotten sick yet, but figured it was only a matter of time.

"God, I hope not." She grinned at him. She'd been there for some of their friend's culinary experiments. At least he hoped they were experiments. He'd hate to think those had been treasured family recipes. "What can I do for you?"

Daniel took a deep breath, but kept his voice low. This wasn't for public consumption. Fortunately, there was no one close enough to overhear them. "It's about Jonathan." Janet's smile faded and she sighed.

"I can't imagine how he's going to cope with this."

"See, Janet, that's the problem. I _can_ imagine it." She looked at him curiously. "Janet, I've _seen_ how Jonathan O'Neill copes with the death of a child." Janet dropped her fork as her face reflected her understanding.

"Oh, my god." She shoved her chair back and started for the door. "I'm an idiot."

Daniel followed close behind her. "My words exactly."

Janet's staff was amazing. Daniel had spent far more time with them over the years than he had ever wanted to, but watching them in action when he wasn't drugged out of his mind was a pleasure. The suicide watch took less time to arrange than he'd thought. That made him realize the Air Force probably had a procedure for it just like it had a procedure for virtually everything. His natural curiosity nearly had him asking how often she'd had to do this until he realized he probably didn't want to know. He was a little afraid of what he'd see in her face when she answered him. There were a couple of times when it might have been him in that bed with someone watching at all times. Daniel really didn't want to know. Maybe he used to and those particular memories had never resurfaced. He could live with that. "Thanks, Daniel. I don't know what I would have done if something had happened."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just sorry I didn't think of it earlier."

"_I_ should have thought of it. I've seen the colonel's file. I should have thought of it." Daniel shook his head.

"Janet, we've all be working so hard to keep _them_," he pointed to the sleeping men on the other side of the observation window, "separate from _us_ that it's no wonder it didn't hit you." He chewed his lip a moment. "It wouldn't have occurred to me except that the look in Jonathan's eyes was so familiar." He looked down at the floor. "And then I started trying to imagine what he must be going through and there's only one person I know who'd be able to do that." He looked back up at Janet and shrugged. "That's when I remembered where I'd, um, seen it before."

"Did I thank you for what you did earlier? That must have been difficult, but I didn't want to sedate him. I wouldn't sedate a pregnant woman if I could avoid it. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"I don't mind, Janet. I was glad to help." Daniel crossed his arms tightly across his chest and looked into the isolation room again. He wished he could talk to her. Tell her how it felt to hold Jonathan like that. Something was happening and it terrified him as much as it excited him. He wished he could talk to _anyone_ about it. Daniel sighed. This was the wrong time and definitely the wrong place to be running that topic through the wringer. No matter what was going through his head and his life, Jonathan had it so much worse. "He was so lost, Janet." He and his Daniel needed them. Daniel's life would work itself out or not.

"They both are, Daniel. Jonathan seemed to have been handling it pretty well until his Daniel figured it out. They both just fell apart."

"Can you blame them?"

"No, no I can't. I haven't felt that helpless since," she glanced quickly away from him. "Well, in a long time." Daniel swallowed. They'd never talked about his death. No one did, really, which was generally fine with him. Remembering it was hard enough.

"Janet?" He placed a finger on her chin and turned her face toward him. There were no tears on her face, but her eyes were suspiciously moist. "Did I ever thank you for that?"

"I couldn't save you," she whispered. "I couldn't _do_ anything!" He pulled her to him and hugged her close. He told himself it was for her, but her answering hug was more welcome than he'd expected. He pushed back stray images from his nightmares.

"No, you couldn't save me. No one could. It was too late the moment I pulled my gun." He rubbed her back gently and frowned, remembering. "I think I knew that at the time, but that doesn't matter. What matters is," he pulled back so he could look into her face and smiled a little, "What matters is you _did_ do something. You were kind and you were gentle. You were _there_ and that meant a great deal, even if I wasn't in any shape to tell you about it at the time. You did a lot and I'm more grateful than I can say."

They stood together for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts of that time. Wanting nothing more than to clear his mind of his death, Daniel concentrated on the woman in his arms. She felt good. Round where it counted, she was also an interesting mix of delicacy and strength. _So why isn't this doing anything for me?_ Finally, Daniel pulled away, a little embarrassed by his display and more than a little embarrassed by his thoughts, but glad to have finally spoken to her about it. Janet seemed to feel the same as she cleared her throat and fell back into doctor mode. "Remembering that must have been difficult. Have you spoken to anyone about it?" Daniel smiled and resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Actually, yes. I have." He didn't tell her it was less than a week ago. She didn't respond. Daniel knew she wanted him to elaborate, but that wasn't going to happen. He'd talked to Jack. If he needed to talk again, which he doubted, he'd talk to him. Daniel's heart rate shot up as he thought, _It always comes back to Jack. I don't know if I can do this_. Janet sighed and gave in.

"Good." She didn't let him off completely. "Remember, if it gets to be too much, I can arrange an appointment with a therapist."

"Ah, got one who specializes in real death experiences?" His smile didn't quite meet his eyes. Her answering smile at his pun didn't quite meet hers, either.

"Right. Still, the offer stands." Daniel's smile faded. "_If_ you need it." He nodded, accepting the condition. As long as he was going to be in control, he'd let her have her illusion. No way was he getting involved with anyone from Mental Health again if he could avoid it. Been there, done that, got the nightmares. "You're obviously dealing with this better than anyone could have dreamed, though why that should be a surprise considering everything else you've dealt with over the years is beyond me."

"What can I say, I've got a good doctor." The awkward moment passed and he followed Janet out of the observation booth, his mind already drifting back to the Proto-Sinitic tablet waiting for him on his desk. There were still a couple of resources he hadn't tried yet. This was much easier than where his mind _had_ been wandering.

"I'll give you a call when they wake up."

"What? Oh. Right. Thanks, Janet." He gave her a perfunctory smile and turned away.

"Jonathan might want a cuddle." He did roll his eyes at that. He shook his head, gave her a little wave and headed back to his office hoping she hadn't spotted his physical reaction to her joke. He had to get a grip on this. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the back of the elevator. Now he was making suggestive remarks to himself. Daniel wondered how long it would take for him to feel really comfortable in his own skin again.

"Hey, Daniel." Daniel looked up from the book he'd borrowed from Dr. Weller's office to see Lou Ferretti in his doorway.

"Hey, Lou." Something was wrong about this. "Aren't you supposed to be," he searched his memory for the planet designation finally giving up when he couldn't come up with it. The planet had nothing to interest him, so he hadn't bothered to remember it. "Well, out there somewhere testing dirt?" He waved his hand upward.

"Yep, but the general decided we could wait until the hurricane passed."

"Yeah." The thought of stepping out of the gate into a hurricane had never occurred to him. "He's generous that way." Now, he was afraid he'd never stop thinking about it every time he stood on the ramp. He gave himself a mental shake and concentrated on his friend. "So, what can I do for you?"

Lou wandered in and leaned against the wall. "You seen the colonel recently?"

Daniel nodded. "A few hours ago, he was heading off to some meeting or other. Why?" Daniel slipped his pencil in the book to mark his place and closed it.

His friend picked at a button on his BDU shirt. "He seem bothered by anything?"

Warning bells were going off in Daniel's head. "No, not really, but," he paused, "you know Jack."

"Yes, I do and I didn't like what I just saw." Daniel was wondering just how much trouble he'd get into if he strangled a team leader.

"I often don't like what I see Jack doing. Was this something in particular?"

"Daniel." Lou seemed to be lost in thought for a moment. "Remember how he was on that first mission?" Daniel nodded, not really liking where this was going, but needing to know. "Well, I took my guys to the firing range when our mission got scrubbed. Needed to let them work off the adrenaline, you know how it is." Daniel knew. They all got a little hyped up before going through the gate. Having it called off at the last minute sometimes left teams floundering physically and emotionally. No matter how many times a team went through the gate, there was always a kick of adrenaline just from walking into the gate room. Jack usually dragged them, well, dragged _him_ off to the gym to work it off, but the firing range worked just as well. "The colonel was there. Daniel, he looked," Daniel finally realized that Lou looked scared. Daniel stood up and approached his visitor. "He looked like he did back then. His eyes... let's just say we didn't stay on the range." He heaved himself away from the wall. "In fact, the place was empty except for him and Sergeant Miller and the only reason he didn't bug out is because he's posted there." Lou took a few steps toward the door then turned back around. "I thought you should know."

"Oh? Why?" _Don't be stupid, Daniel, of course he'd come to you._

"Because you're the only one I know brave enough to go talk to him."

"Oh." Lou thought he was brave. While he didn't get hassled by the military types these days, they didn't generally go out of their way to compliment civilians. "Really."

"Or maybe it's crazy enough." Lou broke into a huge smile, slapped Daniel on the back and left his office.

"Right." He said to Lou's back. He snorted and shook his head then stopped worrying about the merits of brave versus crazy. Jack must have heard about what happened in the infirmary. Daniel rubbed his eyes. Lou was right. He needed to be the one to go talk to Jack. Who else could do it? He was, after all, Jack's best friend. Daniel was halfway to the elevator before he realized he'd left his office.

Daniel approached the small crowd gathered around the entrance to the firing range with trepidation. He slowed and a path cleared for him. He looked at them curiously and finally located Lou. "What's all this?" Lou shrugged.

"They're worried." He glanced at some of the faces. "Curious."

Daniel leaned in and lowered his voice. "Would you mind?" He nodded at the personnel in the corridor. "Probably be better if they weren't out here when," he let his voice trail off.

"On it." Lou replied quietly, "And Daniel, I'll have a word with the general if you want to take him out of here." Daniel nodded gratefully as Lou started to move through the group, dispersing them quietly and letting them know that "me and the doc would take care of things". Once they were all drifting away, Daniel went into the staging area between the corridor and the range. He paused just long enough to grab a set of ear protectors and goggles.

Miller was new, but seeing him standing unobtrusively in the back of the shooters area looking everywhere but at Jack let Daniel know this was someone to watch. The new sergeant seemed to understand Jack's need for privacy, only his own sense of duty kept him there. Too many soldiers had shown up at the SCG without that level of compassion. They generally didn't last long. Miller was studiously ignoring the base's 2IC who was in the process of decimating yet another target with his 9MM. Daniel didn't think Jack's choice of weapon was an accident. He had the impression Jack was emptying himself, his pain, his rage through the gun into the target. The ear protectors did their job, but he could feel the percussion in his bones, a corresponding ache in his heart. Whenever he thought of Charlie, Daniel always, _always_ heard the screech of a breaking chain and the moment of shocked silence before the screaming began. That moment of silence sometimes lasted forever in his nightmares. Daniel pushed that memory aside, this was about Jack, not about him.

Daniel didn't like this room at the best of times. Of all things, it made him claustrophobic. Hell of a thing for an archeologist. He much preferred target shooting outside, but sometimes the underground range was all there was time for. Blizzards could be problematic for the outdoor range, too. The litter on the floor in front of the perforated paper told him Jack had been at this for quite a while. Daniel caught Miller's eye and mimed a question. Miller shook his head and indicated Jack was on his last clip. Seems Miller wasn't ignoring him after all. Daniel's estimation of the man rose. He nodded and then gestured to door, his eyebrows raised in question. Miller hesitated, obviously wanting to leave, but not willing to desert his post. At that moment, Lou walked in, jerked a thumb at the door and Miller left, apparently more than ready to turn his post over to his superior.

Daniel nodded to Lou and slowly approached Jack from the side. He knew better than to sneak up on him. He stopped a couple of stalls away and leaned on the divider. He waited and he watched. The man before him was a virtual stranger. Daniel had met him a very long time ago, but somewhere during that first mission, this man had started to disappear and be replaced by _his_ Jack. Daniel pondered that phrase for a moment. He'd been using it a lot lately. He rubbed the back of his neck as his thoughts skittered around what it might mean. Coupled with all the other crap running through his head, he really didn't want to think too much about it. It's not like the other O'Neill even went by the same name, but it just seemed right to... to what? Claim ownership? Daniel frowned, not sure he liked that idea, yet the thought of not laying some sort of claim to _his_ Jack made him uneasy. He knew he could be as territorial as the next man, but territorial over _Jack_?

Motion drew his attention away from his disordered thoughts and back to his friend. Right, that's all it was, he decided. Jack was his friend. His _best_ friend. His best friend who was in pain and needed help, if he'd ever admit it or not. Jack fired the last shot and stood looking at the target. He ejected the empty clip and placed it in with a pile of others to his side, his movements smooth, but mechanical, his face carefully blank. Reaching for a new one, he seemed surprised not to find it there.

"Miller!" He shouted and turned to look for the sergeant. Daniel gave him a nod when Jack looked his way. Jack's expression wavered, a serious of unidentifiable expressions crossed his face before it settled into that same dead blankness Daniel remembered from all those years ago. He found it hurt to be faced with this passionless stranger again. They'd come through fire and death together. It was as if all their shared pain and joy had been wiped away. Daniel straightened up, took off his protective gear and took a few steps toward him. Lou got there first. Lou had his protective gear in his hand and casually reached for Jack's pistol.

"Here, Colonel. I'll take care of that for you." Jack looked at his hand as if seeing the weapon for the first time. He shuddered and handed it off to Lou who was frankly babbling about the targets, what a pain it was to find the time to come to the range. Daniel thought there was even a comment on the weather, but he wasn't sure. He was focused on Jack and wishing he knew what was running through his mind. He knew what was in his heart, but there really wasn't any way to reach that. _Or,_ he stilled as a new thought hit him, _ maybe there was._ This was supposed to have been their "lost weekend". A chance to figure out how they felt about meeting up with Lord Daniel and Jonathan. How to deal with all the crap their presence stirred up. They didn't have a whole weekend, but maybe they could have a night. Jack looked like he could do with getting completely wasted. If Daniel could convince him to talk a little in the process, so much the better. Maybe it would even help Daniel deal with his newfound _stuff_.

_He looks like he could use a hug._ Daniel felt himself blink rapidly as he wondered where that had come from. He didn't hug. Jack hugged. People hugged Daniel, sometimes. He'd always felt hugs were intimate and he rarely felt comfortable enough with people to initiate them. The sense memory of Jonathan's back under his hands and his body pressed against Daniel's rushed through him and Daniel's body responded as it had to Janet's joke. _What the hell?_ Daniel started to shove his hands in his pockets and then realized that was a very bad idea. He finally settled on crossing his arms and was glad he was wearing his over shirt.

Finally Lou had possession of all the equipment and Jack stood there looking around, though Daniel wasn't sure what he was really seeing. "Jack?" The other man finally looked at him. "Are you all right, Jack?" He nodded, his mouth clamped shut. "C'mon, let's take off. Lou's clearing it with the general." Another nod and Daniel gestured toward the door as he casually spun on his heel and headed out of the range. A moment later, he heard Jack following him. Daniel got to the door and held it open for his friend. He waved at Lou and followed Jack into the now empty corridor.

The drive from the mountain was made in silence. Jack hadn't said a word since the range, just done whatever Daniel ordered or even suggested. He'd gotten into Daniel's car without argument. Jack usually insisted on driving his truck. Said Daniel's car was too cramped. He'd shut down. Daniel was beginning to doubt that he'd be able to bring him out of this on his own. He started to wonder if maybe he should just take Jack home and let him be for the night. Maybe he just needed some time alone. Daniel was equally afraid of what would happen if he were wrong. They'd lose him. _He'd_ lose him and Daniel had lost almost every other important person in his life. He wasn't losing his friend. Somehow he'd have to find a way to reach him. He wasn't losing Jack.

* * *

  
The pit was opening before him and his ghosts were out of their boxes, lining up to push him in. Jack stared out the car window. He wanted to thank Daniel for knowing he needed to get out of the mountain, but he was afraid to open his mouth. He couldn't even remember changing into his civvies. Jack was teetering on the edge and knew it wouldn't take much to send him over it. His mind ran in an endless loop through his pain, his failures, his dead future stretching out before him. He thought he should care but was unsurprised to find he didn't.

"Got anything to drink at your place?" Something in Daniel's voice cut through his fugue and Jack finally dragged his attention away from the passing scenery. His friend drove with uncharacteristic intensity. Daniel had looked like that just before jumping out of the plane over Siberia. He'd seen that look on countless missions. Jack imagined he'd had the same expression when he'd shot out that window on Kelowna. Daniel was heading into danger but nothing short of his death would deter him. _He knows I need to forget._ Jack felt the pit slide a little farther away. _Daniel's in the same boat._ He remembered his thoughts in the storeroom. If he made this about Daniel maybe he could get through it. Bury his own agony and concentrate on the man next to him. He could do that. He was good at that. He didn't used to be, which is why Sara left, but Jack had learned a lot in the past few years. He quickly replayed the sounds in his head and tried to make sense of what Daniel had said a moment ago. The man had asked him something.

"Yeah. I think so." Jack was rewarded with a surprised glance and a quick grin.

"Stronger than beer?" He shrugged. Jack really couldn't remember what was there. Daniel took his silence for his answer.

"We'll stop. Dinner? You, um, you hungry?" _Daniel's as crap at this as I am._ Jack found the thought oddly cheering. He supposed he should wish Daniel had a magic wand that would make it all go away, but their similarity was comforting. He decided they had a lot more in common than most people realized.

"He's going to try and kill himself." Jack blinked. His mouth was running off without him again. At this rate, they'd never let him through the gate again. He'd be spouting GDO codes before the Jaffa could say 'Kree!'

"I know." Daniel glanced over at him then continued in the same soft voice, "I told Janet. She's handling it." Jack nodded. He should have known Daniel would catch on. Jack's head thumped against the headrest. He used the impact to push his ghosts farther away. "Yeah. Dinner." They shared a more comfortable silence for a couple of miles. "Pizza?"

More silence as Daniel watched the traffic as they drove through an intersection. "Chinese?"

"Burgers." Jack considered, very briefly, firing up the grill when they got to his place. "Wendy's?"

"Works for me." Daniel checked the traffic on Jack's side of the car and moved over two lanes. The closest was a little out of the way, but worth it. Their fries sucked, but the burgers were good, if a little odd.

"Why are the patties square?"

"I have no idea." Jack let a small smile loose and shoved the waiting shades farther into the shadows. They were still there, still taunting him with their presence, but, for the moment, their power was diminished. Jack turned back to his window. He had reinforcements now and they couldn't fight both of them.

The litter from their meal decorated the coffee table. They'd cracked open the first bottle of scotch before unwrapping the four triple patty hamburgers. Jack leaned back in his corner of the sofa glass in hand. Daniel was sitting on the floor between the table and the sofa. Jack watched him as he built something with the rest of the now cold fries. Jack had a nice warm glow from slugging back a few shots before dinner. The alcohol dulled his mind and the company kept him focused on something outside himself. And the company was great. Get a couple of drinks into Daniel and he did stuff like this. Beer got him philosophical. Wine maudlin. Liquor, though, liquor was much more fun. At least for the rest of them.

"Whatcha doin'?" Daniel turned and looked up at him over his glasses. Given that they'd slipped down to the end of his nose, it wasn't difficult. Looking through them would have been nothing short of a miracle.

"I'm building a fence, Jack." He enunciated very carefully, not yet slurring his words. Only someone who knew him well would likely realize just how not sober he was. His expression, however, seemed to question Jack's powers of observation and quite likely his intelligence for not being able to see the obvious. He turned back to his self-appointed task.

"Of course you are." Now that he knew, Jack could kind of make out a sort of rail fence-like structure in the semi-circular stacks of French fries around the puddle of ketchup they'd been using earlier. "Afraid the ketchup might escape?"

Again the look like he was a defective three-year-old. "Not ketchup." Daniel paused to take a healthy swig from his glass. "It's that, um..." Daniel stopped, frowning in concentration. "That, umm, thing from," he waved vaguely, "from that planet." Apparently satisfied that he'd fully explained himself, he returned to his construction site. Scarily enough, Jack knew what he was talking about. They'd run into a creature of some kind that, now that he thought about it, did sort of resemble a puddle of ketchup. Only that 'puddle' dissolved anything organic it came into contact with and they'd had to run to get back to gate before they became its next meal. Not to mention all its sisters and its cousins and its aunts who showed up for dinner. Daniel drained his glass and reached for the bottle sitting in front of Jack.

"Whoa, there, Danny boy, don't you think you've had enough for now?" Their hands met around the neck of the bottle. The warmth of the other man's hand startled Jack when he'd been expecting nothing but cool glass. Daniel shifted his position to get more leverage on the scotch and leaned against Jack's leg. He was warm and heavy. Blue eyes stared into his. Jack started to make a joke about what he would and wouldn't do on a first date but it died before he could open his mouth. Daniel's expression was familiar. It was usually directed at a puzzle he'd just untangled. Jack couldn't remember it ever being directed at him before. Then it was gone. The strong warm hand under his flexed and Daniel retrieved the bottle with a jerk and settled back into his own space removing his glasses and tossing them on the table. Jack's hand and leg felt cold where Daniel had been touching him.

"Nope." Daniel sounded suddenly sober. "I can still think." He filled his glass and gestured to Jack's with the bottle. Jack nodded, his numbed mind trying to work out what had just happened. He couldn't shake the feeling that something about their friendship had changed in the past week. That it had changed even more just now.

Daniel leaned back over pressing heavily against his leg again as he filled the glass. Jack was warm again. It spread from his leg throughout the rest of his body, settling somewhere very unexpected. Jack took a long drink from his glass and watched as Daniel shifted over so he was sitting right next to Jack's leg. He brought his glass with him and downed half of it before setting it down a little unsteadily on the table. Jack reached down and clasped his friend's shoulder. Just a friendly hand on the shoulder. He had an urge to do more when Daniel let his head fall gently onto Jack's thigh with a contented sigh. He wanted to resist the urge, but his scotch-muddled brain couldn't find any reason to do so. He moved his hand to Daniel's neck and gently stroked the fine hair with his thumb. Daniel rubbed his cheek against Jack's thigh and placed one hand on Jack's knee while the other arm snaked around the leg he was leaning on. His hand wrapped gently around Jack's ankle where he mirrored Jack's motion.

"That feels good, Jack." Jack wanted to agree with him, but for once his mouth didn't respond. It did feel good. Maybe too good. But that didn't mean he wanted it to stop. Daniel's hair was soft and he was warm and Jack was enjoying the way his body was responding to the unexpected contact.

"What's happening to us, Danny?" He ventured a little further running the tip of his finger around the back of his friend's ear. The hand around his ankle slipped down to gently rub the top of his bare foot.

"Not sure." Daniel's voice was as quiet as Jack's had been. "Do you want it to stop?" His hand was still running over Jack's foot, so maybe this wasn't his way of offering an easy out to his friend. Jack continued his cautious exploration of the area around his hand, never moving far as if this particular place was the only spot he had permission to touch. Touching anywhere else might break the spell.

"No." He decided to risk something new and ran his hand a little up into Daniel's hair. _So soft, so silky._ "No, I'm good." No lightning bolt and the ground didn't open up and swallow him. He smoothed down the hair he'd mussed and in a bold move ran the tips of his fingers down the side of his friend's face. He couldn't see Daniel's face, but he thought he felt him smile. His cheek and jaw were rough with stubble. Jack realized he found the change in texture amazingly erotic. It had been a very long time since he'd allowed himself to think in those terms about another man. Even then, he hadn't done much more than this. Fear of being caught and tossed out of the Academy had put paid to that relationship before it got off the ground.

Jack wasn't a kid anymore. He'd hurt too much, _died_ too often to let this scare him. Escape total annihilation a few times and something like this didn't faze him. After two snakes in his head, this was easy, so very easy and Jack thought he might just let himself fall.

"Yes, you are." Now he did feel Daniel grin. The hand on Jack's foot moved away and he started to object until he realized Daniel was shifting around to face him. His foot was warmed again by the inside of Daniel's lower thigh and his leg was now partially embraced by a muscular arm. Daniel rested his chin on the back of his own hand and stared up at Jack. "You're remarkably calm about this." Jack just nodded and with newfound confidence cupped Daniel's cheek in his hand.

"It's easy." Noting the raised eyebrow at that comment, Jack added, "_This_ is easy. Us." He carded through Daniel's hair and was rewarded with half-closed blue eyes and a soft almost-moan. "After," he returned his hand to the handsome face of his friend, "everything," he wasn't quite sure how to put it.

"Pain, torture, death?" The soft smile on Daniel's face made the words seem ludicrous, but somehow it fit. Everything seemed to be slotting into place all the sudden.

"Yeah, that." He ran a finger over the smiling lips. They really were an awful lot alike. At least in the things that mattered most. "After that, us is easy." Daniel put his hand over the back of Jack's and placed a chaste kiss in the palm.

"Yeah." He breathed the word into Jack's palm. "Us is easy." His warm breath caressed the place his lips had been and Jack felt a tingle in the pit of his stomach and the warmth below grew. Daniel nuzzled into his hand for a moment, then pulled back enough to clasp Jack's hand in his own, palm-to-palm, resting on Jack's leg. They sat like that for a moment, gently smiling at each other, gazes steady as if seeing the other man for the first time.

Jack finally identified what he'd been feeling over the past few days and it made him smile. This wasn't the time, not when things were still so new and definitely not after as much scotch as they'd had. "I want," he'd experienced the feelings before, but wasn't sure how to say it. He'd had enough trouble getting his point across to Sara.

"Yeah." But this was Daniel. Jack's smile widened. Of course he didn't have to speak.

"But," Jack wanted to say they needed to do this right, whatever _this_ was. He knew what he wanted it to be, but that came with time.

"Slow," came the expected response. Jack nodded. They were in the middle of something and they didn't need the distraction of work. Jack didn't want to be thinking about Lord Daniel and Jonathan when he should be thinking about _them_. Daniel shifted and heaved himself up off the floor. Somehow he managed to retain possession of Jack's hand. He tugged. Jack took the hint and stood up.

"Slow." Jack agreed. "After it's all," Jack couldn't have held onto a train of thought with a tractor beam. He just wanted to dive into those brilliant blue eyes and never come out. Daniel reestablished eye contact as he raised Jack's hand to his lips. Jack held his breath as Daniel kissed his knuckles before releasing him. Suddenly there were strong warm hands on his waist, pulling him close.

"After it's over." Daniel whispered into Jack's ear and wrapped his arms around the older man, holding him close, running his hands sensuously over Jack's lower back nuzzling his neck. Automatically, Jack returned the embrace, feeling a surge of desire that wasn't entirely due to the pressure of his erection against the other man. He moved against Daniel a little and found an answering hardness. Jack had rarely had a lover who took the initiative. Whenever they did it was incredible. The feeling that someone desired him enough, _trusted_ him enough to ignore his often dominating personality was the most amazing turn on for him. He got tired of making all the moves, all the decisions. His decisions usually risked someone's life. He didn't want that following him into the bedroom.

"Yeah. After." At least he hoped that's what he said. Jack really wasn't certain since there wasn't much blood flow to his brain and what blood was there was at least eighty proof.

Daniel pulled back enough to place a hand on Jack's face and whisper, "Works for me." He moved his hand through Jack's hair until he could clasp the back of Jack's neck, then pulled him close and kissed him. Whatever still functional synapses Jack had left fried in that moment. He opened his mouth and let Daniel in. Whatever the other man wanted was his. He would have signed over whatever was left of his soul in that moment if Daniel had asked him for it. Jack curled his arms up around the other man's broad shoulders. The half-remembered, half-imagined embraces of his youth faded in the reality of the strong mature man in his arms, the well-muscled arms around him. The warmth he'd felt earlier flashed to volcanic heat. He returned the kiss tasting salt, scotch and the faint tang of ketchup. Underneath was a unique something that whispered 'Daniel'. It melded with the heady scent of sweat and musk and Jack feared he might come right then and there.

He was reluctant to break their kiss, but he needed to breathe. "Oh, god, Danny, you're good at that." He panted a little into his lover's neck, unconsciously rubbing against him. His hands gently kneaded Daniel's back and he had to restrain his desire to rip the other man's shirt off so he could feel all that warm skin directly instead of through a cotton barrier. Strong hands ghosted over Jack's ass, their touch becoming more sure with each pass. All their touches had been gentle so far. It was as if neither of them was quite certain how to deal with a partner so near their own size and strength. Jack thought about the leashed power under his hands and how it would feel to be on the receiving end of it. The resulting aroused groan was answered with a deep chuckle that was felt almost more than heard.

"Oh, god, Jack, I want you."

Jack almost couldn't recognize the deep husky voice whispering in his ear. Stubble scratched his face as soft lips trailed kisses soothingly along behind. A hand squeezed his ass, the other gently gripped his short hair. A fleeting thought that maybe he should let it grow a little faded when he gasped in pleasure as teeth closed on his earlobe. A gentle tug followed by tongue and lips nearly sent him over the edge. "Me, too." Slow was overrated.

They stumbled their way to his bedroom, clumsy less from drink than from their reluctance to stop touching. Once inside, Jack let go long enough to close the door only to find himself wrapped up in strong arms that pulled him back against his lover's solid body. "I want to touch you." Jack nodded. He didn't trust his voice. He wasn't really sure he'd be able to muster the dexterity required to work the buttons. Jack turned in his lover's arms and started to undo his shirt but Daniel's hands stopped him. "Let me. Please." Jack traded taking off his own shirt for running his hands over Daniel's shoulders. Jack figured he got the best end of the deal.

Clever fingers made short work of removing the offending cloth and then they were on him. Touching, caressing, mapping his chest, his back, skimming over his sides and down to his denim covered thighs and ass. Daniel's hands left trails of fire burning in their wake. Jack wanted to burn, wanted to be consumed. He couldn't remember wanting anything as much as he wanted this. Taking the tail of Daniel's t-shirt he started easing it up. Once he got the idea across, Daniel took just enough time from his exploration to jerk the shirt off over his head before his hands started driving Jack out of his mind again. Lips found his again and the gentle touches turned urgent, passionate. Jack backed up, pulling Daniel with him, until he found his bed. Hands on his shoulders urged him to sit then Daniel knelt on the floor between his legs.

"Jack," Daniel ran his hands over Jack's legs, kneading his thighs. "I want," Jack leaned down and captured that incredible mouth in a searing kiss. _He was right. It does shut him up._ Daniel surged up to meet him. Jack scooted back on his bed until he was lying flat with his lover's weight holding him down until they broke their kiss, panting into each other's necks. "I need to," Daniel lifted his head and looked into Jack's eyes. Jack thought he could lose himself in those lust-blackened eyes. "I need to talk to you, to tell you something."

Jack stroked his lover's face, cradling it his hand. Daniel leaned into the caress like a cat. "Tell me, Daniel. You can tell me anything." His comment earned him a dazed smile and another passionate kiss. Maybe shutting him up wasn't the best idea after all.

Daniel pulled back again just as Jack needed to breath. "I need to take care of you," he said in a rush. "To protect you." Jack hadn't expected that. It surprised him, but after a moment, he wasn't sure why it should. Daniel had a deep-seated need to protect anyone he cared about, even when they turned out to be destroyers of worlds. He'd apparently stayed quiet too long. The arousal in Daniel's face started to give way to anxiety. "I _ know_ you can take care of yourself, it's just," he licked his lips and seemed at a loss as to how to explain.

Jack smiled and his friend's, his lover's face lost the anxious look. "I get it, Daniel." Jack ran a hand into Daniel's hair and pulled him down for a brief kiss.

"I can't lose you!" Daniel settled more heavily on top of Jack, squeezing him tightly with arms and legs as if by holding him down he could keep anything from happening to him. "I _won't_ lose you." Jack heard the unsaid 'too' and his heart broke for the pain he heard in his lover's voice, the pain so evident in his expression. Daniel usually kept his pain to himself, but he exposed all the raw agony in his heart with those words. Jack twisted his hips a little and rolled them to their sides, legs intertwined.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm too heavy." Jack shushed him and reassured him with his hands and mouth. Anything to remove the anguish from that beautiful face. He decided he was willing to spend a lifetime doing that if that's what it took.

"I love it, Danny, just needed to change positions for a bit." Jack loved the weight on him, but Daniel was heavy and it was easier to talk this way. "You'll never loose me, not if I have anything to say about it." He stroked the silky hair under his hand. "No one's ever wanted to take care of me, before." Another kiss, more touches, "I think I like it."

"I'll always take care of you, Jack." There was that look again, the one that spoke of discovery, of a puzzle solved. "I love you."

Jack finally understood the power this man had over him. He'd been so right. They were easy together. So very easy. "I love you, too, Danny." He closed the small space between them and kissed him with passion, with hunger, with love. As he lost himself in the sensations he felt his ghosts slinking back into their boxes, the locks snicking shut behind them. As long as he had this, they had no power over him. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Jack felt free.


	2. Chapter 2

Daniel awoke to what he could only think of as a vicious assault. His head felt like a mule had kicked him, that damned banging coming from somewhere added a stuttering jackhammer into the mix and he was holding someone heavy who was drooling on his chest. He opened his eyes but it was dark wherever he was. Without his glasses he couldn't make out many details in the dim light coming in from what he guessed was a window. About the time he was trying to decide if he'd run across another ribbon happy System Lord and was a prisoner somewhere, several things slotted into place in his sleep-dulled brain. The banging was coming from outside and when he listened carefully he also heard the wind howling around the house. That means it must be tree branches hitting the side of the house. His headache had a definite hangover rather than ribbon device cast to it and it was Jack who was sprawled over him. Sprawled and drooling. He blinked at the silver head as other details registered. Details like the fact that they were both naked under the sheet. Another moment of confusion and the night before flooded back pushing his headache to the background.

A huge grin spread across his face. Jack. Jack said he loved him. Daniel thanked whatever god might be listening for scotch and tightened his arms a little around his lover. He didn't think he would have had the courage to seduce Jack without it. He certainly hadn't _planned_ on seducing him last night, but when he'd leaned against him that time, something told him he wouldn't be rejected. They hadn't talked much about their previous experiences the night before. His grin widened. They hadn't talked much at all. He stifled the laugh bubbling inside. He didn't want to wake Jack. For this moment, Daniel felt completely happy. Almost giddy. He didn't want to do anything that might risk it, even waking the man responsible. A thread of doubt crept into his mind, but he refused to give credence to it. There would be problems ahead, given Jack's career, but Daniel felt certain they could deal with it. That had been all Jack with him last night. The scotch might have broken down their inhibitions enough to act on their burgeoning feelings, but the emotions, the desires had been real. By the time Jack woke him for a second round they were both sober.

"D'n'y?" Jack shifted against him and rubbed his cheek against Daniel's chest. He thought his heart might burst inside his chest. He felt like a kid again, like it was the first time he'd fallen in love. "Wz'at'nz?" Now Daniel did chuckle. He had no idea what Jack had asked him. In all the years he'd known him, all the years he'd shared tents and cells and space in the infirmary, this was the first time he'd ever known the man to not come immediately awake when there weren't drugs involved.

"Jack! You've been holding out on me!" One eye cracked open and stared at him. The other followed it then with a huge yawn his lover stretched exposing acres of skin just begging to be discovered. _Rediscovered,_ he thought to himself. Daniel was certain there couldn't be an inch of Jack he hadn't touched or kissed or licked. He watched his lover waking up and felt his interest wake along with him. "Jack, you've got to teach me whatever language that was." He tried to sound serious, his academic interest peaked _ Oh, no lover, what I've got for you isn't academic._ More laughter bubbled up at the thought. "I might need it one of these days and I know you won't want to," before Daniel could finish, hands that had given him unbelievable pleasure a few short hours ago attacked. Soon Daniel was rolling on the bed, laughing and struggling to redirect Jack's weapons of choice. Being ticklish was a pain.

"Laugh at me, rock boy? I'll give you something to laugh about." Daniel lay on his back, with Jack on top of him. The tickling stopped, but he couldn't stop stray bursts of giggles. He usually hated it when he giggled. It was undignified and people had a tendency to look down on men who giggled, but at the moment he couldn't see any reason to stop. Jack smiled down at him before closing the distance between them for a kiss. Unfortunately, Daniel was still feeling silly and giggled into the kiss. Jack rolled his eyes and plopped down next to him, leaning on his elbow with a mock scowl on his face. "Oh, so now I kiss funny?"

"Oh, no, love." Jack looked pleased with the endearment, which just made Daniel's smile grow. "Nothing funny about your kisses." He traced the line of his lover's jaw with his fingers. "I'm just happy."

"Good. You deserve to be happy." Jack lay down on his side and Daniel turned to face him. Daniel draped his arm across Jack's waist, his lover's arm wrapped around his shoulder as they moved toward each other. Daniel had been half-hard, but the tickling had deflated him. Now he was aroused again. He gave an experimental thrust of his hips and found Jack was with the program. Their lovemaking had been simple the night before. Neither seemed to want to try anything elaborate while they learned each other. Jack had jerked him off twice. He'd done Jack once and gone down on him the second time. It hadn't been as easy as he'd remembered. Daniel had done it a few times before, but that had been in college with his one and only boyfriend. They hadn't been together long but it had been enough to let Daniel know he could enjoy being with another man. He'd just never met any other men who attracted him enough to want to date. Eventually he'd chalked it up to a one off and moved on. Until Jack.

"Are you happy, Jack?" Daniel leaned in and kissed him when he smiled. He tightened his arms around his lover and felt strong arms encircling him. Daniel's hand drifted down to Jack's ass. He squeezed and Jack's cock jerked against him. He pulled Jack closer moaning at the thought of what it would be like to be inside him. Jack's moans joined his when their erections touched. Daniel latched onto Jack's mouth and kissed him deeply, his tongue fucked his lover's mouth as they ground their hips a little clumsily against each other. Daniel wasn't concerned with the lack of finesse. Jack's moans and clutching hands told him his lover didn't seem to mind, either. His need escalated and Daniel rolled them so he was on top of Jack. He looked down at the flushed face of his lover. _His_ lover. _ His_ Jack.

Daniel had always felt protective of his lovers, but only with Shar'e had he ever before felt this overwhelming need to possess, to _own_. He closed his eyes at the thought of his beautiful lost Shar'e, then opened them to his beautiful Jack. He'd never thought he'd love again after she died, but he couldn't deny what he felt for this man. Daniel wanted to show him. He tried an experimental thrust into Jack's belly and was rewarded by a pleasured groan and hands on his hips urging him on. Another thrust and another, sweat slicked their bodies and aided his motion. Daniel tried to find the right angle and pressure to maintain contact with Jack's cock but it wasn't easy. He was beginning to get a little frustrated. Good sex was good sex, but he had to admit that sex with a woman was easier. He started to shift so he could support himself on just his knees and one hand when Jack reached between them and grasped their cocks, holding them loosely together. Daniel closed his eyes and gasped in pleasure at the sensation and redoubled his efforts. Both of them were leaking and Jack took advantage of what was available and slicked them both down. Finally finding a rhythm in the hot slick tunnel of Jack's hand Daniel opened his eyes and looked down into his lover's face. All thoughts of former loves fled and it was just the two of them. Jack lay red faced with his mouth open, his hips rising to meet Daniel, panting and gasping in pleasure. His lover's face betrayed his impending climax and that tipped Daniel over the edge. They came almost together, their cries mingling as they both soaked Jack's stomach and chest. Daniel dropped to his elbows, smearing the mess between their bodies and latched onto Jack's mouth with a passionate, breathless kiss. Shuddering as he thrust through the last waves of his orgasm.

"God, I love you, Danny." Daniel smiled and dropped a kiss on the tip of Jack's nose. He started to move off of Jack but arms held him in place. "Stay?"

"I'm too heavy, love." Jack shook his head.

"No, you're fine. I like it." Daniel settled a little more, letting his legs stretch out feeling Jack's legs on either side. He stayed propped on his elbows, though, not wanting to put his full weight on the other man.

"How's this?" He knew he outweighed Jack these days and much as he loved the position, he didn't want to impede his breathing. This was enough.

"I won't break, Danny." The slight chide in his voice was softened by his hands gently stroking Daniel's back.

"I know, I just," Daniel found it hard to shrug in his position, but he managed something close to it. In the fading glow of his arousal, he felt a little embarrassed by his possessiveness. He wasn't sure how to say it. Wasn't sure if he _should_ say anything about it. At least not yet. In some ways it scared him more than any System Lord.

"It feels," Jack looked almost as embarrassed as Daniel felt, "safe. _You_ make me feel safe." Daniel gazed into Jack's eyes, knowing he probably had a dopey grin on his face. Only one other person had ever said that to him. He'd failed her. He didn't want to fail Jack.

"I'm glad." He kissed him softly. "I want to keep you safe. I wish we could stay like this forever."

"Get no complaints from me." Jack did have a dopey grin on his face. Daniel didn't want to move at all, but he knew he couldn't stay.

"I can't Jack." Jack's dopey post-coital grin faded, replaced with a worried expression. "I'm losing the feeling in my hands." They erupted into laughter and Jack helped him move onto the bed then started to massage the muscles in his shoulders and arms.

"Better?" He moaned in response to the question. Jack was good at this. Daniel foresaw many hours of just letting Jack massage him.

"Have I told you this morning that I love you?" Daniel shifted to his back and ran the fingers of one hand over Jack's face. When he reached his lips, the other man kissed them, then nipped at them playfully before grabbing them and holding their hands against his sticky chest.

"No, as a matter of fact, and I was beginning to wonder if you only wanted my body." Jack's tone told Daniel he was joking, but there was a note of insecurity in his voice.

"Not saying that's not a _huge_ incentive, but yes, I love you, Jack O'Neill with two ells and don't you ever forget it." Daniel tugged his lover down for another kiss and wondered how he'd ever get through another day, another hour, without this. When they broke, the playfulness was gone from Jack's face. He looked serious.

"We need to talk, Danny." Daniel's stomach clinched with fear.

"We can't do this." Daniel barely recognized his own voice. He knew Jack was going to say it was too risky, they'd get caught.

"What?" Jack jerked back and sat up. Daniel knew immediately that he'd screwed up. "What the fuck are you saying?" Jack escaped the bed and started digging through the clothes they'd taken off the night before.

"Jack!" Daniel looked at his lover in shock. He'd never seen him this angry when there hadn't been an alien involved.

"You got what you wanted and that's it? You're done? You don't want this?" Jack found his pants and started to put them on. Daniel followed him off the bed and lunged for him, catching him by the wrist.

"No! I mean yes! I'm sorry, I thought," Daniel was starting to panic. The best thing that had happened to him in almost a decade was about to walk away and it was his fault.

"So, which is it, yes or no?" Jack was still angry, but he hadn't left yet. Just stood there with his pants hanging from his hands. Daniel griped his arm like it was a lifeline. In all the ways that counted, it was.

"Yes!" Before Jack could come to the wrong conclusion about which question he was answering, Daniel continued, "I _ want _this! I want _us_!" He paused trying to gauge his lover's response to his words. "I can't remember wanting anything as much as I want us." Jack was still angry, but he seemed to be cooling down. "I'm sorry, sorry. I'm just afraid. I love you and need you so badly, I can't believe you'd want me, too." Jack relaxed more and dropped his pants shaking Daniel's hand off of his arm. Daniel nodded to the bed and they sat leaning back against the headboard, but still not touching. "I thought," Daniel couldn't look at him anymore. He felt foolish. "I thought you'd decided it was too risky. That we'd get caught. I thought," Daniel fell silent and looked down over his crossed arms to study the tops of his raised knees. His eyes filled and he knew his voice would break if he said another word.

"You thought I was going to call it off." His calloused fingers touching Daniel's chin followed Jack's soft voice. Jack tilted his head so Daniel could see his lover's face. Jack's eyes were none too dry as he leaned toward Daniel and kissed first one eye and then the other. Resting his forehead on Daniel's he sighed. "Oh, Danny, we _will_ have to be careful, but I'll retire before I give you up." Daniel had no resistance to that and a few tears finally escaped. Strong arms pulled him to his lover's body. He rested his head on Jack's shoulder and sighed in relief. He was exhausted.

"I love you, Jack." Daniel didn't care if his voice cracked now.

"And I love you. As far as I'm concerned," before he could finish, the phone rang. "Damn!" He turned loose of Daniel and grabbed the phone. Daniel straightened up, closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall. He berated himself for his foolish insecurities and barely heard Jack's side of the conversation.

"We'll be there within the hour." Daniel looked at him and Jack shook his head. "Yes, sir. Daniel drove me home." It had to be the general. "Thank you, sir." Daniel glanced at the window and saw it was still dark out. They'd gotten to Jack's around mid afternoon, so there was no telling what time it was. He didn't have his glasses on, so he scooted over to the edge of the bed to peer at the clock. Four forty-eight in the morning. Daniel groaned. He knew he hadn't gotten much sleep and now his headache was back with a vengeance. He'd already had run of short nights. He was getting too old for this sort of thing. He needed coffee. Daniel flopped face down on the bed while Jack finished on the phone. Taking a deep breath, he smiled. With the scent of sex and the smell of Jack on the sheets he decided maybe he could do _this_ sort of thing for the rest of his life. Jack's hand slapping his ass jolted him out of his pleasant reverie.

"Hey! What was that for!"

"Up and at 'em book boy, we've got to go to work." Daniel followed Jack into his bathroom, still rubbing the stinging spot on his ass. He suspected what was up, but it could be almost anything. Jack didn't sound like it was anything too terrible.

"What's up?" Jack waved Daniel toward the shower as he started preparing to shave. Jack stopped what he was doing, leaned heavily against the sink and just stared down into the running water.

"Doc says he's in labor." Daniel turned away from the shower and went to his lover. He put his arms around him from behind and held him. Daniel pressed a kiss between Jack's shoulder blades and then laid his head down on his shoulder.

"I don't know if I can do this, Daniel." Daniel hugged him tighter and kissed him again.

"You can." Daniel turned him in his arms. "You're the strongest man I know." He kissed him gently on the lips. "And I'll be there. We'll do this together, Jack." His lover put his arms around him and sagged into his embrace. Jack buried his face in Daniel neck. Jack's muffled voice cracked as he spoke.

"You'll stay with me?"

"Always, Jack." Daniel quickly calculated the time. "You know, we'll probably have to go through the mirror." Jack stiffened a little in his arms then pulled away enough to look at him.

"Why?" There was sudden hope in the baffled brown eyes staring at him.

"I suppose we could send _them_ through, but I can't see Janet letting a man who's just had surgery out of her infirmary so quickly." Jack still looked confused. "Cascade tremors. They don't have many more hours here before they start."

"Oh. Oh!" He realized then that it was the actual birth that Jack was most freaked about. He'd told Daniel once that holding Charlie in those first moments was the most amazing thing he'd ever experienced. Seeing Jonathan with his newborn daughter would be a nightmare. Then and there Daniel resolved to make certain they weren't in the SGC when she was born.

"You okay?" Daniel wished he could just drag Jack back to bed and hold him until this was all over.

"Not really, but I'll make it." Jack kissed him and gave him a lopsided smile before nodding to the shower and turning back to the sink. "We've got to hurry if we're going to get there before the shift change. I _hate_ getting stuck in the traffic jam at security." Daniel smiled and ducked into the shower. Jack would get through this and Daniel would be there to make sure.

They managed to beat the shift change even after hitting a drive-through for coffee and something that purported to be breakfast. Daniel spent the entire journey through the mountain wishing for just one more cup, or another kiss, either would do but both would have to wait. They arrived at the general's office as he was hanging up the phone. He waved them in. "Have a seat, gentlemen."

"How's Jonathan, sir?" The sooner they got this part over with the sooner he could get to his lab, or Sam's lab. She usually had a pot going. Or even the commissary. Or maybe he could drag Jack into a storeroom. He didn't really want to fall asleep in the corridor.

"Doctor Frasier seems to think things are going well, but his doctor is concerned. Doctor Frasier thinks that may be because he's not in his own clinic."

"And our other guest?" Daniel wasn't sure if anyone else could see the tension in his lover, but he could. Jack's façade was good, but Daniel knew better. He looked up when the general chuckled.

"After Doctor Frasier threatened to sedate him, he apparently calmed right down and got out of their way." Daniel ducked his head and shifted in his seat. There was no reason for him to be embarrassed by his counterpart's behavior, but he couldn't help it. Daniel already wanted to hover over Jack when he was in the infirmary. He didn't think he'd be able to resist now. He darted a quick glance at Jack who was looking out into the briefing room. "Gentlemen, Doctor Frasier has another concern." Now Jack looked at the General and Daniel pulled his attention away from his lover.

"Cascade tremors." Jack's voice was under control. Daniel had seen him battening down his emotions throughout their drive in. The general nodded.

"Exactly, Colonel. Both doctors are certain that neither one of you are in any danger of contracting Nirrti's virus, but I'd like to wait until after the baby has been tested." General Hammond leaned back in his chair and looked from Jack to Daniel and back again. "I won't order either one of you to do this."

"We'd be happy to go for a visit, General. Delighted, even." Daniel was surprised that Jack had been the one to volunteer, but he wasn't sure why. They'd gone over this. It was the best solution. _I wanted to do it for him._ Daniel gave himself a mental kick. His protectiveness was already affecting him. He'd have to get a grip and fast. Jack might enjoy it, even want it in the bedroom, but in the SGC, _Jack_ was in charge. This was going to be harder than Daniel figured.

"I thought that would be your decision. Major Carter will be here in a moment for the briefing." The general made eye contact with Daniel and smiled. "Doctor Jackson, why don't you see about getting yourself some coffee, son. You look like you could use it."

"Thank you, General. I could use it."

"Maybe we should ask doc if she'd set you up with a drip." The general chuckled as they rose and headed for the briefing room. Jack and Daniel proceeded on and Daniel bit back the wholly inappropriate comment that came to mind, _I thought I did hook up with a drip_. He shot Jack a cool glance and the message appeared to have been received because Jack headed straight to the coffee pot and poured two cups. He handed one to Daniel and winked, then headed over to his usual chair. The General was still outside the room speaking with one of the techs from the control room.

"Good morning, Carter!" Sam walked into the briefing room looking almost as tired as Daniel felt. Her BDUs were rumpled as if she'd slept in them.

"Hey, Sam." She greeted them both and made a beeline to the coffee pot herself.

"Carter, you didn't go home last night, did you?" Jack was in full Colonel Nag mode. "You've got to get yourself a life. Oh, wait, you _did_ get yourself a life. You should try actually _living_ it from time to time."

"Yes, sir." She sat in her customary chair and raised an eyebrow at Daniel. Fluent in Sam-speak, he just rolled his eyes and shook his head. Jack had spent years trying to get them both to give up the nights they spent in their respective labs. It rarely worked. Because Jack's time on base was spent marking time between missions he really couldn't understand that they both were doing jobs they loved. Daniel couldn't imagine giving up gate travel to spend all his time in his lab, but he loved the time he did spend working on translations and artifacts. It was fun. Sam felt the same about her reactors and, well, whatever it was she did. Most of the time, Daniel really didn't want to know. He slept better that way. He was about to comment about what astrophysicists did in the privacy of their own labs when the general joined them.

"Okay, people, let's get started."

"General, where's Teal'c?" Daniel looked out into the corridor, but didn't see their fourth teammate.

"Teal'c has gone off-world with SG3, Doctor. Captain Gruber had a family emergency and Teal'c volunteered to fill in."

"Going stir crazy, was he, sir?" Jack seemed a little put out to have been kept out of the loop. The general wisely stepped in to stop the expected tirade before it could get off the ground.

"Yes, Colonel. Consider this your official notice. Teal'c isn't needed for the current situation and he felt he could be of more use off world at the moment since you and Doctor Jackson are engaged in the present situation on base." Daniel couldn't help it. He was taking a drink from his cup when the general said "engaged". He choked and spit coffee onto the table in front of him. He coughed for a moment and waved Jack off when he started to slap him on the back.

"Sorry, sir, I, um, just swallowed wrong." He knew he was blushing and just hoped everyone would chalk it up to his coughing fit. Jack, of course, seemed to be preening. Daniel _accidentally_ bumped Jack's head with his arm as he got up to get a towel to clean up his mess.

He half listened to Sam as she went over the current theories that dealt with the tremors. Went over them in way too much detail as far as Daniel was concerned. He was used to tuning out the stuff that didn't impact on his work or on their likelihood of returning from a mission with the same number of teammates they left with. They needed to tell her, he realized. They needed to tell Teal'c, too. Suddenly things seemed so much more complicated than they had in bed with Jack this morning. No matter how well they'd be able to hide their relationship from the rest of the world, Daniel didn't think they had a hope in hell of hiding it from their teammates. He had no idea how they'd react. He glanced at Sam who was still lecturing and really hoped she was as in love with Pete as she seemed. He knew she'd had a _thing_ for Jack at one time. _Jack's mine._ Daniel swallowed hard. He had to get control of his, he was honest with himself, his jealousy quickly. Jack had told him about the kiss during the time loops and how that had pretty much ended any interest he'd had in her. Not that he still didn't care for her, but it just hadn't done anything for him.

"Doctor Jackson? Your thoughts?" The general was looking at him. For a brief moment Daniel was eleven years old again and his foster mother wanted an answer to her question. She would go on for ten or fifteen minutes and if he didn't listen carefully he'd miss the poorly phrased question buried in the verbal effluvia she always spoke in. It had been like finding a needle in a haystack. She'd been nice enough, but he really hadn't regretted moving on to the Amberson's when the time came. He sifted through the words he'd been hearing to find what he needed. He certainly had no intention of sharing his recent thoughts with anyone.

"Oh, right. Yes, Ian and Jose along with, um," Daniel searched his memory for the name, "Beecham. He's a servant," Daniel explained, "no, more of a family retainer of some kind. I feel confident they'll likely welcome us once we explain the situation."

"Let's just hope they don't use a shotgun again." Jack still hadn't chewed him out for that. Daniel hoped he'd do it in private. He had some wonderful ideas of how to distract him now. Kissing him senseless probably wouldn't be a good idea in the corridor. Daniel felt himself respond to the thought. No, no, not a good idea at all.

"Jack. Don't start. They were frightened and worried because Daniel was sick. They'll be fine." He turned back to the general. "We should be able to hide out in Daniel's and Jonathan's suite with no problem. We can't afford to be seen by the rest of the household since we don't look _exactly_ like them. Us. The other us." Daniel had a thought. "General, it might be a good idea if Daniel were there when we go through. If they see that he's up and around and not under any duress it might make things easier." General Hammond nodded.

"If the doctors allow him out of the infirmary, I have no objections." He looked at each of them in turn. "Colonel, Doctor, you have a go when and _if_ Doctor Frasier gives the all clear. Good luck, gentlemen."

* * *

Daniel sat in his wheel chair and watched Jonathan pace the length of their room and back. He was still tired but his mind was clearer than it had been in what seemed like an age. It was a blessing and a curse. He reveled in being able to think clearly, but it was that ability that let him put the pieces together about what they'd done. What they'd all done. The directionless rage that had seemed to always simmer under the surface was gone, but a new rage took its place. _Someone_ had done this to them. From the doctors told him, there was no way this could be accidental.

His eyes stung as he thought again about his daughters. He hadn't mentioned his suspicions that the extraneous chemicals Devon found in the bearing men's supplements might have killed Melbourne and Elias before they'd breathed their first breath. He didn't think he ever would. Bearing men suffered enough, if he had anything to say about it, that piece of information would never be made public. At least some aspects of the past few years were mercifully vague. He wasn't ready to feel their loss again. But he remembered how it felt to hold his baby daughters and then to watch them fight to live. Their funerals were all too clear. The only thing that kept him from falling apart completely was the hope that if they were one day blessed with another daughter, _she_ would survive. Doctor Frasier had promised to provide them with untainted supplements and he would give her his entire fortune and anything else he could beg, borrow or steal if she asked. He would not loose another child to the monster who'd done this to them.

"Jonathan, please sit down. Just watching you is wearing me out." Daniel rolled his chair to the table that sat in the corner of their concrete room and picked at the remains of his last meal. Jonathan's sat almost untouched. Amid the two hospital beds and all the various pieces of medical equipment, someone had moved a table, chairs and a sofa in with them. He's wondered a little at the collection of equipment on a counter along the wall, but hadn't wanted to ask about it. He'd hated the wheel chair on sight, but after exhausting himself after a few steps, he grudgingly agreed that he wasn't ready to be fully mobile yet. Devon really wanted him in bed, but he couldn't just lie there twenty-four hours a day. Besides, getting in and out of it was exhausting. It was too high and took too much of his pitiful store of energy.

It was very late, or maybe very early, but as tired as he was, he wasn't sleepy any more. Not very sleepy anyway. He really wanted to go home, but Devon had talked him into staying a while longer. They still had quite a few hours before the negative effects of being in another universe with their counterparts became apparent. Daniel didn't like to think of what a cascade tremor might do to Jonathan and the baby. The description alone sounded horrible. These people had experience with this sort of thing and Doctor Frasier assured him they'd be sent home before their deadline.

"I'm sorry, love. I'm just," Jonathan's hands rubbed Daniel's shoulders, "restless, I guess. I can't really settle." Daniel turned his head and rested his cheek against Jonathan's belly. He smiled when he felt their child move inside his husband. Jonathan's restlessness triggered something, but it was part of the general vagueness in his memory and he couldn't be sure what it meant, if anything. Perhaps it would come back to him eventually. Doctor Frasier thought he might eventually remember almost everything.

"Maybe you should eat something. Devon told me you haven't been eating much." Another twinge of memory. Restless. Not eating. He'd been through this before with Jonathan, he just couldn't remember _when_ . It was right there, but he couldn't quite break through the fog surrounding it.

"Not hungry, Daniel." Jonathan came around and sat gingerly in the chair next to him. Daniel missed his warmth at his back. "Daniel? You're thinking. Out with it." Daniel ducked his head, oddly amused at his husband's ability to read him. It was a nice break from the constant frustration he was experiencing as he came down off the drugs.

"Something I can't quite remember. It's nagging at me, but I can't _get_ to it." He slammed his hand down on the arm of his chair. "It's something to do with you pacing." Daniel squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead. This was going to drive him insane. Jonathan pacing. Restless. His eyes flew open and he stared at his husband in shock. Not just Jonathan. Jose walking the floor. Ian wandering endlessly through his studio. Daniel grinned as excitement ran through him. Jonathan stared back in confusion. "Love, are you in labor?" His husband's mouth closed, then opened again, then closed. His expression changed and Daniel's grin grew. He'd seen this same expression on all three of his husbands' faces when they were, as he thought of it, communing with their babies.

"Damn." Jonathan finally found his voice. "I am." Labor for a bearing man wasn't like it was for a woman. Not that Daniel had any experience with pregnant women, but he'd heard the tales endlessly in the past few years. _Of all things to remember. I can't remember my wedding to Ian, but I remember the symptoms of labor in women._ For men, the symptoms were much more subtle. There wasn't any assistance from their bodies to expel the child when it was time, which is why every pregnant man had a birthing kit in his home and why his doctor often showed up at his doorstep every day during the last weeks. Many were hospitalized during the last month of their first pregnancies since they couldn't always tell when it was time. Some seemed to never be able to figure it out and those either moved to more populated areas or at least checked into birthing centers for their last month or so. Now that Daniel had broken through to that particular memory, other related memories were becoming clear.

Daniel unlocked the wheel on his chair and started for the phone to call one of the nurses. "Jonathan, go lay down. I'll get Devon in here."

"Wait!" Jonathan had already gotten to his bed, but was leaning against it rather than laying in it. "I need to talk to you first." Daniel scowled at him, but turned his chair and rolled to him. His scowl apparently got his point across because Jonathan obediently hoisted himself onto the bed and lay on his side so he could face Daniel. "I'd planned to tell you sometime before," he rubbed his distended belly, "well, before, but then you were sick and Doctor Daniel showed up and," he trailed off, looking embarrassed. Daniel took note of the tension around his eyes and saw that even lying down he was holding himself stiffly. He looked afraid. There was only one thing Daniel could think of that could scare him right now.

"There's something wrong, isn't there." He levered himself out of his chair and took the step that brought him to his husband's side. He took Jonathan's hand and leaned down to kiss him. Not this. Not after everything they'd gone through. They couldn't lose this child. "Tell me, love. Whatever it is, I'll be here for you. I love you so much, Jonny." He had to be strong for Jonathan even though his heart was already breaking.

"No! Oh, god, no, love! The baby's fine." Jonathan smiled and squeezed his hand. " _She's_ just fine, Danny." He felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. Forgetting his earlier hope, the memory of fear for his dead daughters nearly overwhelmed him. He clung to his husband and to the edge of the bed. He didn't trust his legs to hold him up. "Daniel," Jonathan's concerned voice cut through Daniel's whirling thoughts. "Please, hon, sit down before you fall down." Jonathan started to get up but Daniel shook his head and stepped backward until his legs hit the wheel chair.

"A girl?" The reality was sinking in. Jonathan's smile was growing again.

"Yes! A girl! And she's going to live, Daniel! We're going to have a daughter! A beautiful little girl! And she's going to _live_ !"

"Oh, god, a girl." Daniel was laughing now, heedless of the tears also running down his face. He couldn't help it and didn't want to. It was too incredible. "Jonathan! We're going to have a daughter!" He felt drunk and slightly hysterical, but decided that was okay. In fact, he decided that everything was very okay. "Devon! I need to get Devon!" He turned his chair and was halfway to the door before he realized Jonathan was calling to him. He half turned and saw the other man grinning as he held something up and waggled it at him. Oh. Right. The beds both had call buttons on them. He just grinned at his own behavior and turned back to his husband. Before he got very far, one of the nurses came into the room.

"Good morning, gentlemen. Lord Cascadia, do you need help getting back into bed?" Jonathan had told him that Devon had read everyone the riot act about his title. He'd just rolled his eyes and ignored it when someone slipped and called him "Lord Daniel". It apparently bothered his doctor much more than it bothered him.

"No, I don't need to get back into bed. Jonathan's in labor. He needs Doctor Caruthers." He paused at her moment of confusion. "Our Doctor Caruthers." He didn't think he'd ever get used to that. He watched her approach Jonathan and speak to him but he wasn't paying attention to what she said. "We're having a girl!"

"Congratulations, gentlemen. I'll get the doctors."

The fear was gone. Daniel felt almost giddy. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he couldn't help himself. This was the first time, the very first time since Jonathan's first pregnancy that he'd been this excited, this hopeful that everything would be perfect. They'd found the cause of their children's illnesses and they were in a place with more resources than he'd seen since the invasion. If he hadn't known for a fact that he'd fall on his face if he tried it, he'd be dancing through the room instead of sitting in a wheelchair. They were going to have a girl and she was going to live. He wouldn't allow anything less.

"Daniel, take it easy, it's going to be a little while. Don't wear yourself out." Jonathan laughed as he spoke. He looked almost as giddy as Daniel felt. Daniel rolled back to the bed and took Jonathan's hand in his. He kissed his knuckles and squeezed his hand, unwilling to let go for the moment.

"I am awake, right? Tell me I'm awake, Jonathan." His husband laughed again and tugged his hand out of Daniel's grip. Then he reached over and pinched his cheek. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Just making sure you're not dreaming." Daniel playfully swatted his husband's thigh and then sat back, content for the moment to just and bask in their shared happiness. "This is real." Jonathan spoke quietly as if by speaking too loudly it would break the spell. "It's really happening." His tears began to flow though his smile didn't dim. Daniel reached up and gently dried his husband's face with his hand.

"Yes, love, it's really happening. Hey, you get to carry her around now." Jonathan always teased him about wanting Daniel to carry the baby for a while, but he had a feeling Jonathan wasn't going to want to turn her loose for a while. Daniel would get to hold her right after she was born. After that, Jonathan could hold her as much as he wanted. Daniel would just hold them both.

"So, Jonathan, I hear you've made a liar out of me again. You keep doing this and Lord Cascadia will get a new doctor for the district." Devon breezed into the room with Doctor Frasier and a couple of male nurses in his wake.

"Not a chance, Devon. You're stuck with us. Us and our daughter." Daniel spared the doctor and his entourage a single glance and a grin before concentrating on his husband again. He knew what was coming, but there was no way he'd do it.

"Daniel, what are you doing out of bed?"

"How is it I'm "Lord Cascadia" when you're worried about your job and "Daniel" as soon as you want me to do something I have no intention of doing?" He tried to put his professional face on, but knew his excited expectant father face was spoiling the effect. It didn't matter, nothing would get him into bed. Nothing would budge him from Jonathan's side.

"Because sometimes you're the earl and sometimes you're my patient and god help me if I ever get the two confused." Devon eased Jonathan onto his back and the nurses started the process of prepping him for surgery. Devon checked Jonathan's pulse and listened to his heart before asking him the usual round of questions. They'd done this enough that it was fairly routine, but even Devon seemed excited by what was to come. In so many ways this was a first for them all. Finally the doctor turned back to Daniel. "You really should lie down for a while." He held his hand up to indicate silence on Daniel's part. Daniel squirmed in his seat and sighed. "It's going to be a little while before anything happens. You know this. I've got to make sure the baby's really ready before delivering her." Now it was Devon who couldn't stop grinning. "Please, Daniel, don't fight me on this. I know you're feeling pretty good right now, but you're still weak from being ill. Jonathan and the baby are going to need you rested."

Daniel's resolve was weakening. He was tired and didn't know how much stamina he had. It galled him to accept that Devon was right, but the thought of getting back into the damnable bed was too much.

"Daniel?" Doctor Frasier had been observing the activity around Jonathan's bed. Daniel had almost forgotten she was there. "I understand that you want to be there for Jonathan during the birth, but it really would be for the best if you could rest some first." All doctors must take a class in guilt before being sent out into the world to devil innocent people. Guilt 101. He glared at both of his personal devils as he tried to work out a way around this.

"Damn it, Daniel, would you go take a nap? Their nagging is starting to drive _me_ nuts! They're worse than Ian!" Daniel sagged defeated in his chair. He couldn't fight all three of them. He had trouble refusing Jonathan anything at the best of times. In matters related to childbirth it was nearly impossible. Doctor Frasier, bless her, spoke up in the ensuing silence.

"Why don't you come over and just stretch out on the sofa for a while. I'm sure you'll find it easier to get in and out of the chair from there." It wasn't what he wanted, but it was better than struggling in and out of that bed.

"How did you know?" He spoke quietly as she pushed his chair toward the sofa in the corner.

"I know my Daniels." She chuckled as she parked the chair within easy reach of his new bed. He'd never admit it, but the idea of being able to stretch out and rest was getting more and more appealing. Not that he'd ever admit it out loud. She patted the soft cushion but he shook his head.

"The other end, I want to be able to see." She shook her head and muttered something about an overabundance of stubborn men in her life.

"I'll get you a pillow." She was back before he'd gotten completely settled. Lying down was heaven. He just wished he didn't feel so weak. He should be at Jonathan's side. Daniel submitted to her fussing with his pillow and glared at her when she proceeded to spread a blanket over him.

"I'm not going to sleep, you know." He fought back a yawn.

"Of course not, but you're going to be lying still for a bit and it's cool in here. I don't want you to get chilled." He waved her away with a grunt and she left with a last pat on his blanket-covered leg. He started to relax and watched the activity around Jonathan. His smile returned as he thought of what was about to happen. The yawn caught him by surprise and he snuggled down into his blanket. A little girl. They'd need to talk about names. Maybe Margaret. That had been Jonathan's mother's name. Daniel's face ached from smiling so much. He wondered if she'd be fair like Nicolas or dark-eyed and brown haired like little Patrick. The boys weren't going to know what to do. His grin widened as he imagined explaining girls to his sons. Daniel's eyes grew heavy and his last thoughts before sleep took him were of a little girl with Jonathan's eyes running through his vineyards after her brothers.

"Sir?" Someone was shaking him. "Sir? You need to wake up now." Daniel pried one eye open and squinted in the overly bright light. "Sir, Doctor Caruthers says it's time." Daniel managed to get his other eye open, but was having trouble focusing on the man waking him up. He looked around in confusion as the stranger helped him sit up. Concrete walls. Clarity returned and he looked for Jonathan. He was lying flat on an operating table, looking at Daniel. Knees bent, the surgical drape was already arranged over him.

"Help me up." The man Daniel now remembered was one of the nurses assisting Devon took his arm and helped him to his feet. His nap hadn't helped much. In fact he felt more tired than when he laid down. He cursed all doctors everywhere as he settled gratefully into the waiting wheelchair. "How long did I sleep?"

"A couple of hours, sir." The nurse pushed him to his waiting husband, helped Daniel onto the high stool sitting near Jonathan's head and returned to whatever he'd been doing before.

"Hey." Daniel leaned over so he could run his hand through his husband's hair. Jonathan's eyes were glazed letting him know that he'd already been lightly sedated. Daniel felt guilty for not being there when they'd medicated him.

"Hey, yourself." Jonathan ran a dry tongue over his lips. Daniel located the expected cup of ice chips and fed his husband some. "Thanks. Glad you could join me." He grinned drunkenly at Daniel. "You were almost out on your feet. Or would that be out on your seat?" He giggled at his comment and Daniel grinned at him. He got so silly under the influence of the sedation. "Has it started yet?" Daniel heard Devon talking with the nurses, but they kept their voices low. His job was to distract Jonathan.

"You tell me, love." Daniel held his hand and stroked his face and hair. Jonathan liked the contact. Jose would accept having his hand held, but was much more stoic during birth. Daniel suspected it was more about his upbringing than what he really wanted. Maybe one day he'd be able to accept more. Ian, on the other hand, almost always went right to sleep.

Jonathan was quiet for a moment as he concentrated on his body. "Yeah, I think so. There's something happening." He smiled his loopy smile. "Won't be much longer, I think." Daniel couldn't resist that smile so he leaned in and kissed his husband.

"I love you, Jonathan." He ran his lips over Jonathan's cheek. "I'm so proud of you. You give us such beautiful babies." He went on stroking his love and telling him how much he loved him and what a wonderful Papa he was. The words were less important than the contact. At times like this, he felt so sorry for the thousands of generations of women who'd gone through such agony to bring their children into the world. Jonathan would be in pain afterwards while the incision healed, but he'd have his daughter to ease it. This time he'd have her in his arms to make the pain more bearable. Maybe that's how women had gotten through the hours of agony. They knew their children would be worth it.

A sudden flurry of activity at the other end of the table drew his attention. Jonathan's hand tightened on his and he looked back into his husband's eyes. Daniel rested his free hand on Jonathan's chest and tried to remain calm. Time seemed to crawl as they waited for the cry that would tell them their daughter was alive and strong and wanting her fathers. An eternity later they heard it. Daniel thought that indignant squall was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

"I want to hold her! Daniel, please, bring her to me." Jonathan was almost frantic. Daniel knew if Jonathan wasn't numb from the waist down he would have been off the table and grabbing his crying baby away from the doctor.

"Shh, love, give Devon a moment to check her out. He'll bring her to us in a moment." He willed himself to stay with Jonathan when all _he_ wanted to do was rush over and calm his crying child. With every birth his respect for all bearing men rose. For the millionth time Daniel was glad he wasn't the one giving birth. He would have been a wreck.

Finally, Devon emerged from behind the drape, a tiny bundle in his hands. "Jonathan, Daniel, there's someone here who'd like to meet you." He handed the tiny person to Daniel. He held her for just a moment, memorizing every feature of her face, loosening the cloth she was wrapped in so he could see all of her. Daniel always forgot how small a newborn was. He turned to Jonathan and held her up so his husband could see their daughter.

"Thank you, love. She's beautiful." Daniel wasn't sure his husband heard him. Jonathan stared at their daughter in wonder before finally lifting his hands to take her. Daniel helped him settle her on his chest and then helped Jonathan ease up a little bit to see her better. Jonathan supported her with one arm and they both touched her and murmured to each other and to her trying to soothe away her infant rage at the bright cold world she'd been thrust into.

"Jonathan, you and I have some unfinished business." Daniel nodded to Devon. Jonathan was still too wrapped up in their daughter to notice.

"You need to lie down again, love. Devon needs to take care of you." Daniel guided one of Jonathan's hands to hold the baby and he gently eased him back down on the table. "May I take her for a bit while you finish up?" Jonathan dragged his attention away from the child.

"What? Oh. Right." He stroked his infant daughter once more then covered her up again with the cloth. Daniel took that as his signal to take her so he finished wrapping her up and settled her in his arms. He wanted to rock her, but was suddenly reminded of his precarious position on the stool. The same nurse who'd helped him onto it was at his elbow.

"Sir, why don't we get you in your chair. You'll be more comfortable." Daniel nodded and carefully got one foot on the floor and then the other. Before he knew it, he was sitting securely in the wheelchair. He started to rock and she began to calm, though she still gave the occasional hiccupping cry. He looked into his husband's happy face. Jonathan smiled at him while wiping tears from his face with a shaking hand. The nurse returned carrying a bottle and a bright pink and white crocheted baby blanket. "If you'll allow me, sir, I'll take her and finish cleaning her up then maybe you'd like to see if she's interested in having something to eat." Daniel nodded. Then froze at the sight of the bottle. "It's okay, sir, it's just formula from the PX on base." He hugged his daughter in relief. The pain and guilt were still there, but holding her helped. She was still a mess, but he hated to turn her loose. The nurse, Daniel finally squinted at his nametag, Antonelli laid the items in Daniel's lap and then gently took the baby from him. His daughter fussed at the man who smiled at them both. "She certainly is an opinionated little lady, sir." He took her away to the other side of where Jonathan lay.

"Just like her dad." Not even Jonathan's sleepy teasing could ruin this for Daniel. He'd be proud if she grew up to be like him. He'd be prouder if she grew up to be like her Papa. Daniel fingered the blanket in his lap. It was soft and looked homemade.

"Who made this?" Jonathan was already sleeping, thanks to the increased sedation necessary for the post-partum repairs. Devon and both nurses were apparently concentrating on their tasks.

"My daughter made it." Daniel looked up to the observation area for the first time since he woke up and was surprised to see Doctor Frasier behind the glass. "I couldn't tell her who she was making it for, just that we had some visitors who were expecting a little girl. I thought you might appreciate something softer than military issue."

"Please extend our thanks to her. It's lovely. It was very kind of her to go to the effort, especially for people she doesn't know." He had to wonder if his own world would be this accommodating of strangers. But then they had good reason to fear. His daughter's continued fussing at the nurse seemed to underline the point.

"She's a good girl. When she does find out about you, though, her Uncle Jack and Uncle Daniel will never hear the end of it." She smiled.

"When? I thought the SGC was secret?" Now he was confused.

"Ah, yes, it is. SG-1 found her on another planet. Cassie was the only survivor of an attack. They brought her home and I adopted her." Daniel blinked. This woman, which was still strange enough to him, spoke so calmly about adopting a child born on another planet. "She has certain health issues that require her to come here for any medical treatment, so she hears things from time to time." Poor child. To have survived the death of her world. For the first time, Daniel realized things could have gone so much worse for them.

"I hope she's not seriously ill, Doctor Frasier." Now he was going to worry about a child he'd never met.

"Oh, no, nothing like that. Just some anomalies that can't be easily explained away." He got the feeling there was more to it than that, but didn't press her. It wasn't any of his business. There were plenty of things he'd just as soon not discuss.

"I'll be sure to tell our daughter about Cassie when," he swallowed hard, "when she's older."

"I think she'll be tickled to know that you're going to tell your daughter about her." A sharp cry from their baby brought his head around to see what was going on. Unfortunately, the nurse was blocked by Devon and the drape still covering Jonathan's lower body. He dragged his attention back to the woman in the booth.

"You and your people seem to make a habit of rescuing people."

"It's one of the best things about what we do." The pride in her voice was unmistakable. Daniel was beginning to understand why his counterpart was here.

"You're very good at it." His comment seemed to embarrass her a little. He couldn't help but smile. He didn't seem to be able to do anything else. "You've certainly saved us and I don't think there's anyway I can possibly express what you've done for us." Antonelli returned carrying a much cleaner, if angrier baby. Daniel spread the blanket on his lap before he took her. He expertly wrapped her up and settled her back in his arms. "Because of you, this little one has a chance." He kissed the little head softly. "Every little girl, every child on our world has a chance now." He couldn't think beyond the hope. Deep down he knew they still had to find out who was behind the tainted drugs and, what was even harder to consider, why they were doing it in the first place.

Daniel located the bottle that had slipped down between his thigh and the side of the chair. He offered it to his daughter who seemed insulted until he coaxed a drop out of the nipple and onto her tongue. The next time he offered her the nipple she latched onto it with gusto sucking noisily. Her tiny arms jerked from time to time as if she could pump her dinner in faster that way.

"You're very good at that, Daniel." He grinned.

"Let's just say I've had a great deal of experience getting fussy newborns to eat." He'd done this so many times. Even helped out sometimes when men from the estate or village gave birth. He remembered his mother visiting new mothers when he was a child. The babies had always fascinated him. He still did it. Partly because of his position, but at least partly in her memory. He frowned for a moment then looked up at the observation booth. "Doctor Frasier, I hope you didn't stay away," he nodded toward Jonathan, "because you thought we would object. After everything's that happened, you would have been welcome to assist Devon."

"Thank you, Daniel, but that's not why I'm up here." He didn't know her well enough to understand the expression on her face, but he knew he didn't like it.

"Doctor is there something you're not telling me?" He checked the level of the formula and pulled it away from his daughter who objected immediately. "Such a greedy little thing." He positioned her on his shoulder and gently rubbed her back. "You can have some more in a minute, sweetheart." He returned his attention to Doctor Frasier. Her long silence made him uneasy. "Doctor?"

"Sir," from "Daniel" to "sir". His unease grew. "You must remember that we deal with all sorts of threats to our world." He felt rather than heard his daughter's tiny burp and offered her the bottle again. He bit down on his emotions not wanting the baby to pick them up. They were amazingly perceptive even at less than an hour old.

"Doctor, I know a little something about what can happen to an unprotected planet." She was hiding something and he began to fear that he and Jonathan weren't going to like what she had to say. His mother used to tell him not to go borrowing trouble. She'd had to tell him that quite often.

"Of course." She paused as if choosing her words. "Daniel, one of the results of our experiences is that we've become, well, professional paranoids as Colonel O'Neill likes to call it." He answered her wry grin with one of his own. That sounded a great deal like something Jonathan would say. "Doctor Caruthers and I both feel confident that we've discovered the source of the virus on your world."

"But?" His heart was pounding and the only reason he wasn't shouting was the small child falling asleep in his arms.

"But General Hammond insisted we take precautions with Jonathan's delivery." She raised her hand as a request for silence. "Antonelli is testing her blood right now. I would lay money on her being clear of the virus, but we have to be sure." He busied himself with the bottle and his sleeping daughter. The general was wrong. He wasn't a doctor. He was soldier. What did a soldier know about these things. Both doctors thought she'd be fine. Soldiers only know fighting. Soldiers... protect. Daniel folded the corner of the pretty pink blanket over his daughter's head as she slept. He found himself feeling for her heartbeat and listening for her breath. Daniel nodded.

"You'd bet money, but you can't bet Cassie's life."

She shook her head as she replied. "No, I can't. And the general can't afford to bet the lives of _his_ daughter and his granddaughters." The general had granddaughters. How many of the people he'd met here still had mothers and sisters and wives and daughters. No, he wouldn't have done anything less had he been in the general's position.

"I understand, Doctor Frasier. Thank you for being honest with me."

"I would have told you before, but," she raised an accusatory eyebrow at him, " _our_ Daniel didn't want to tell you at all. As he put it, if she's clear, it doesn't matter. If she's not," she shrugged.

Daniel scowled. "The longer I'm here, the more I realize that my counterpart and I really are the same man underneath our experiences." He didn't like the idea that he might be capable of some of the violent adventures he'd heard about. He knew the man carried a weapon and his more muscular build hinted at other skills that Daniel shied away from thinking about. He'd always thought himself a pacifist through and through.

"Lord Cascadia, I haven't had any doubts about that for days." She looked away from him and he followed the line of her gaze. Antonelli had left his position and approached the observation window. Daniel lost his scowl when he saw the man's face.

"Report, Antonelli." Daniel kept forgetting that Doctor Frasier was a military doctor. Then she'd bark out an order and sound uncomfortably like his father.

"The blood sample was clear of the virus, Doctor." His smiled widened as he looked over his shoulder to Daniel. "She's perfect, sir. Just perfect."

Daniel studied his sleeping daughter's face. "Yes, yes she is. Absolutely perfect."

* * *

"Jack, you don't have to do this." Daniel's quiet voice anchored him as much as the hand on his shoulder. They'd finished their pre-mission check and gone through all of Daniel's notes from what he'd learned about the other universe. Frasier had offered to bring Lord Daniel to the mirror, but Jack had vetoed that idea. He wasn't sure why. Now they stood outside the isolation room that housed their counterparts and their newborn daughter. "I can go in and get Daniel, there's no reason for you to go." Jack looked at his lover. He wished he could have more than the friendly touches they were allowed in public, but that was the price of living in the world they had. Daniel was trying to protect him again. Jack found himself both slightly amused and incredibly grateful. He'd once heard that SG-3 called Daniel the Geek King of the Mountain. Jack would have been pissed except it was right after SG-1 had gone in and pulled them out of a precarious situation where Daniel had managed to not only negotiate their release from a bunch of touchy natives but also opened up the possibility of a sweet naquadah deal. As it was, the nickname was given as a sign of respect. Took Daniel a while to work out just how being called a geek was a sign of respect, but he got there eventually. At least as long as he remembered the source. Some geek.

Jack got his pass card out of his pocket. The trepidation he'd felt since the moment Jonathan walked into the briefing room was mostly gone. He knew now that he wouldn't have to deal with the inevitable fallout alone. He wondered again if he could have made a go of it with Sara if he'd been more open to her after Charlie died. He fingered the card in his hand. He wasn't the same man today that he'd been then. So much had changed. He'd changed and for the better, he thought. He also realized beyond the shadow of a doubt that the man standing with him was the primary agent of that change. All these years Jack had always seen himself as taking care of Daniel. He finally understood that it had always been a two way street. "You coming?" The hand on his should squeezed once and then turned him loose.

"Right behind you." Jack caught the nod out of the corner of his eye. He swiped his card and went in, Daniel watching his six, as always.

The lights were low. As he stood in the doorway letting his eyes adjust he took in the layout of the room. Two hospital beds lay close together, both with the heads raised about halfway. A table, chairs and sofa sat in one corner adding an uncharacteristic air of domesticity to the otherwise sterile room. The pile of blankets implied that someone had been sleeping on it at some point. He wondered how the doc had felt about having the extraneous furniture in there when the isolation room turned into an impromptu operating room. Daniel stepped around him and quietly approached the beds. Jack followed.

Both men were sleeping. Lord Daniel lay on his side as close to the edge of his own bed as he could get without falling off. Even sound asleep he still looked like death warmed over. One arm bridged the narrow gap between the beds and his hand lay partially on Jonathan's arm and partially on the tiny infant wrapped in the brightest pink blanket he'd ever seen. Jonathan lay on his back, with the infant tucked into the bend of his elbow. Now that Jack's eyes had adapted to the dim light, the pink blanket stood out strongly against the overall drabness of the room. A blue blanket wouldn't have stood out that brightly against the men's blue scrubs. Daniel had told him he could do this and damned if the man wasn't right again.

Jack's father had once told him that the worst response to fear was not facing it. Once faced, the fear became something manageable. Something a person could _do_ something about. He'd taken that advice with him on every mission. He'd relied on it through every torture. It had served him well, but he'd never applied it to his worst fears. Jack had never before fully identified his reluctance to be around Jonathan as fear. He _knew_ he feared it opening up old wounds and freeing his ghosts. He feared _that_ , but he felt that wasn't at the heart of it. That it was nothing more than collateral damage. It came to him while he looked down at the infant wrapped protectively in his alternate's arm. The moment of clarity was like a punch in the gut. For that brief moment, fear and guilt melted away and Jack felt light headed, almost drunk from release and revelation. The moment passed and he slammed back into himself. He tried to recapture the fleeting understanding, but it was gone like a spring breeze leaving one clear thought in its wake.

"It wasn't their fault." Even thought they'd need to wake Lord Daniel in a few minutes, Jack found himself whispering.

"No. It wasn't." He looked at his lover, not expecting to see blue eyes staring back at him out of a serious face. "I'm glad you can see that."

"Don't, Daniel. Don't go there." Jack's heart was pounding in his chest and he felt sweat forming despite the coolness of the room. Whatever it was, whatever he was afraid of was too big and Jack feared it would break him completely.

"No, you're right. This isn't the time." Jack nodded. Daniel wasn't backing down. _Danny never backs down._ He was proud of that, though he knew Daniel had likely been like that in the womb. He'd been on the receiving end of his friend's tenacity more often than not. It had made their friendship interesting, even difficult at times, but he'd always known it was worth the effort. As a result, Jack knew the discussion was merely tabled for now. If he had his way, it would stay tabled, but he doubted it was over yet. Daniel wanted to protect him, but he couldn't protect Jack from his own actions. It _wasn't_ the same. Charlie's death was _his_ fault and no amount of talking could change that. It was Jack's burden to bear. Jack knew his being able to stand relatively calmly in this room was solely due to the man standing with him. He might not be able to share all his burdens with him, but Daniel had certainly taken most of the weight of this one from him. It would be up to Jack to make sure his lover knew it and knew it was the best they could hope for.

"May I help you gentlemen?" They both turned to see Caruthers struggling out of the blankets on the sofa. The man had been completely hidden from sight. _So that's who's been sleeping there._ Daniel stepped away from the new parents and Jack followed.

"Jack, our Devon and I are going through to your reality." The doctor stopped fighting the blanket and just sat up on the sofa. He rubbed his face with both hands and then looked at them. Daniel perched on the arm of the sofa while Jack shoved his hands in his pockets. He glanced back over his shoulder to see if they'd awoken the sleeping men. Seeing no movement, he turned back. "We thought it might be a good idea for your Daniel to come to the mirror so Ian and Jose could see he was all right."

"No, he needs sleep. I won't have him disturbed unless it's absolutely necessary." Daniel glanced at Jack who shrugged. He didn't like the idea of dragging a guy from an infirmary bed for no reason. Frasier had said she didn't think a quick trip in a wheel chair would be a problem, but she had been adamant about him not being allowed through the mirror yet. Still, Jack liked the idea of being on the wrong end of a shotgun even less.

"So, Doc, how about _you_ come with us. You can come through, explain everything and be back before they," Jack nodded toward Lord Daniel and Jonathan, "know you're gone." Caruthers leaned back on the sofa and looked behind Daniel to his patients. He looked back at Jack and then at Daniel, scratched his unshaven chin and seemed to come to a decision he wasn't particularly satisfied with.

"I have a better idea. Why don't I just go with you and leave your Devon here?"

"You want," Daniel looked as startled as Jack felt. "You want to come _with_ us?"

"Is there some reason why I shouldn't?" Caruthers sounded suspicious. Daniel was quick to try and reassure him.

"Oh, no. No reason, I just," Daniel waved back at the two beds, "We figured you'd want to be here, that's all."

"Look, I won't deny that I'd rather stay with them. They're not just my patients, they're my friends, but I'm the only doctor in the district." He looked at them both and shook his head smiling a little. "It's still odd talking like this to the two of you." His smile faded. "Lord Cascadia's health is my responsibility and much as I hate to admit it, he's better off here for the time being. But I have other patients to tend to." He untangled the blanket from around his legs and stood up. "I'm convinced that your Doctor Frasier can deal with anything Jonathan will need from here on out and if she can't," he shrugged, "I'm as close as I'd be if he were at home."

"We'll have to clear it with the general." Jack held up his hand when Caruthers seemed about to protest. "I don't think he'll have a problem with it, but he's the man." The doctor relaxed and turned around to shift the blanket he'd been using so it wasn't dragging on the floor. Jack heard him muttering something, but couldn't make it out.

"Would you like us to send in Doctor Frasier? We should probably be going, um, through soon." Daniel stood as he spoke as if ready to bolt from the room.

"Oh, would you? Thanks. Yes, I'd like to go over Jonathan's care once more." He looked a little embarrassed. "I don't think she really needs me to, but," he just shrugged again.

"But you need to do it." Jack turned to Daniel. "Why don't you go get the doc and let _our_ Caruthers know he's off the hook. I'm sure SG7 will be glad to know they get to keep him." Jack started sidling toward the door. "I'll just go talk to the general. We can meet up in the locker room in a few."

"Thank you, again. For everything." Caruthers was looking toward the sleeping men. Jack knew exactly what they were being thanked for.

"It was our pleasure, Devon." Daniel came close enough to whisper, "You okay, Jack?"

"Yeah." Jack led him into the corridor and stopped, looking back at the closed isolation room door, thinking. "Yeah, I am." A quick glance up and down the corridor proved that they were alone for the moment. "More okay than I've been in a long time." His lover smiled at him and made an abortive move toward him. Daniel blushed and looked down at his feet.

"Gotta watch that, I guess." He looked back up at Jack, gazing at him over his glasses. Jack sighed. They would have to watch it. He wished Daniel could have done what he'd started. Jack thought he could stand a hug and maybe a kiss or three.

"Yeah." He offered up a smile of his own. "At least on base." That earned him another small smile and a pair of raised eyebrows.

"I don't know what you mean, Colonel." Jack's smile morphed into a full-fledged grin as he started walking backward toward the elevator.

"Then I guess we'll have to discuss it later, Doctor Jackson. I know how tough it is for you civilians to _grasp_ the military mind." Jack knew exactly what he wanted Daniel to grasp later and it didn't have anything to do with his mind. Unless blowing it counted. His mind, blowing his mind. He turned his back on the still grinning Daniel and wondered just how he was supposed to talk to the general while thinking of Daniel blowing things.

Talking to the general had started out easier than he'd expected. General Hammond seemed relieved to be able to put SG7 back into rotation. Jack thought he was more relieved at getting rid of at least one of their guests. As he started to leave to gear up, the general stopped him.

"Take a seat for minute, Jack." The last time the general had called him Jack he was sending him down to talk to Jonathan for the first time. Jack sat down and tried his best to look relaxed.

He was feeling better about things in general, mostly due to the unexpected, but not at all unwelcome change in his and Daniel's relationship. Even so, he still felt on edge from time to time for seemingly no reason. Jack suspected he'd adjust and once the men and their daughter returned home for good, things would get back to normal. The new normal. He really liked the new normal, even though it was going to be tough. He hadn't mentioned this to Daniel yet, but they'd probably need to tell Carter and Teal'c about them. He felt sure Teal'c would guess, that man missed _nothing _. Carter could be... interesting. He had no idea how she'd handle it. He'd toyed with the idea of not saying anything to her, but she was his second. She deserved to know the situation so she could make up her own mind. He had too much respect for her to take the choice away from her. He just hoped she could still work with them. If not, well, he was getting old to be in the field anyway.

"Jack, how are you and Doctor Jackson handling this?" Jack was startled out of his thoughts by the general's voice. For a split second he thought his CO was asking him about them as a_ couple _.

"Oh, you know how it is, join the Air Force, "cross into the blue", see how you'd look pregnant." Jack had laughed the first time he saw that phrase after going through the gate.

"Doctor Jackson's not Air Force."

"No, sir, he's not. He's the guy who makes friends with the Unas who wants to have him for dinner." General Hammond's expression started to shift from concerned CO to slightly pissed off general. "He's managing." Jack squirmed a little in his chair. The general wanted more. "Okay, he's hovering. It's a Daniel thing." Jack shrugged and the general seemed to understand since he started looking more concerned again and less like he was about to explode.

"Doctor Frasier is concerned that you might both need to speak to someone when this is over."_ Gee, thanks, Doc. _

"Oh, I don't think that's going to be necessary, sir." Jack ran a hand through his hair and tried to find the words to express what he wanted to say. "Look, this is one of the weirder things we've run across, but weird is what we do."_ Okay, that wasn't it. _"If it's any help, we are talking, but just to each other."_ Better. _"After all, I don't think you're going to find many shrinks with experience helping people through this sort of thing, sir." The general grinned and shook his head.

"You've got that right. We'll leave this for the time being. I'll speak to Doctor Frasier and we'll revisit it once this is over." He stood and Jack took that as his hint that it was time to go. "I do trust, Colonel, that you'll keep me appraised if the situation starts to affect your ability to do your job. Either of you." General Hammond's ability to move so gracefully from "George" to "the General" never ceased to impress Jack.

"Yes, sir." Jack opened the door.

"Colonel?" He turned back to face his CO praying he wasn't changing his mind already about the shrink.

"I understand you warned Doctor Jackson to 'hightail it back through the mirror' if the gate activated." Jack nodded. "See to it that you take your own advice."

"Yes, sir! Will there be anything else, general?" Jack so loved being able to be a smartass to his CO and get away with it. It's the little things in life that make it worth living. The general looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Yes, there is." He stopped and appeared to change his mind. "No, that can wait. I won't be able to see you off. Have Major Carter report to me once she's no longer needed on site." The red phone on the general's desk rang as he smiled and waved toward the door. "Just get out of my office, Colonel."

"Getting out, sir." Jack left the general's office, his mind already back to the mission. It wasn't their ordinary kind of mission, but he wasn't going to fool himself into thinking it was completely safe, either. This wasn't exactly what he would have chosen for his and Daniel's first mission after last night. A nice boring mineral survey on an empty planet somewhere would have been nice. There might be a snake on that other Earth and the gate was sitting in the backyard of the house where the mirror was located. Even though it had been inactive for years, he just_ knew _all it would take was for the two of them to be there for more than an hour and an entire army would come pouring through. With that cheerful thought in mind, he decided to go to the locker room by way of the armory. That way he wouldn't have to argue with Daniel over the necessity of being prepared. He'd just hand him a zat and tell him to pack it. Besides, SG1's locker room was private. If Daniel wanted to bitch, Jack now had an excellent way to distract him.

They arrived in the mirror room, as everyone was calling it now, to find Caruthers waiting for them. Daniel had complained about Jack's need to be armed, but not as much as he'd feared he would. Jack got the impression his objections had been out of habit more than anything else. Jack had compromised by packing their zats in their packs. Just before they left the locker room, Daniel had taken him into his arms and held him for a long moment. Nothing was said, but the message was received. Jack had suddenly felt better about what they were about to do. After all, no one_ there _would raise an eyebrow if they were caught in a hug. Couldn't go any further than that. This was a mission, after all. This was so not going to be easy.

Daniel wandered over to where Caruthers and Frasier were deep in conversation. Carter and Siler, who had a new bandage on one hand, stood near the mirror, which was laid out on the floor again. A couple of ordinary mirrors had been mounted in odd positions around it. A half dozen airmen were standing around apparently waiting to stand the mirror up again. The decontamination equipment had been moved out of the way, but sat waiting, a testament to Frasier's professional paranoia. The two SFs on duty in the room stood out of the way, alert, but not underfoot. Jack nodded his approval at them and headed over to his second. He needed a few moments out of Daniel's proximity to get himself under control. He'd needed that hug in the locker room. Maybe Daniel had, too. Unfortunately, it had brought down some of the Jack's barriers and they weren't going back up very easily. He really needed to be the colonel now, but he kept wanting to be just Jack. No, he kept wanting to be Daniel's Jack and that wouldn't fly on base.

"All set, Carter?" Jack dropped his pack near the table with all her doohickeys on it. Nothing like talking to Carter to bring the colonel to the surface.

"All set, sir." She dismissed Siler with a nod and then turned back to Jack. "Sir, as we covered in the briefing,"_ Bless you, Carter. _"we think you and Daniel will need to stay at least two days to allow Lord," she shot a quick glance at Caruthers, "Cascadia's and Jonathan's cells to regain their equilibrium."

"So, we go, visit for a couple of days then come home." He looked again at the new mirrors.

"About those, sir." He looked back at her, but decided to spare her the need to explain. He decided to spare_ himself _her need to explain. The mirrors were arranged so the surface of the mirror could be monitored from a distance while it was flat on the floor.

"Good idea, Carter. The SFs will be able to monitor activity on the other side and still maintain security." The look on her face was worth the price of admission all by itself. "Your idea?" It really didn't have a Carterish feel to it, but he'd let her correct him.

"No," she was still looking at him like he'd grown a second head, "actually, it was Sergeant Siler's idea." Flustering Carter was the most fun he could legally have on base.

"Good plan, Siler." Jack smiled at his favorite sergeant. Carter and Daniel might be the big brains of the SGC, but, as always, when a man needed something more prosaic done, he went to a sergeant. Siler was the best.

"Thank you, sir." Siler took his praise with the same deadpan look he always had.

"Hurt your hand setting those up?"

"No, sir." Jack waited a second for further explanation, but the taciturn man had already turned back to his work crew. Jack faced Carter again who just shrugged and smiled way too brightly. A good officer didn't push a sergeant for no good reason. Carter was a very good officer.

"Get it set up, Carter. Let's get this show on the road." Jack wandered over to Daniel and the others. He wandered slowly so he could enjoy looking at his lover._ Being the colonel is overrated. _Daniel turned his head as if aware of Jack's regard. He raised his eyebrows briefly then excused himself from the group. They_ definitely _needed some down time when this was over. Daniel approached and then nodded to an empty corner of the room.

"I think we should try to convince them to bury the gate while we're there." Daniel kept his voice low.

"I think we should ask the general for two weeks off when we get back." Daniel blinked at him in confusion. "C'mon, Daniel." Jack took a half step closer. Maybe he could get him to flutter instead of blink. He hadn't done that since things changed between them. Jack wanted to see how he'd like it given his new perspective. "You, me. The lubricant of your choice. We could go to the cabin. No one around for miles."

"Jack!" Daniel visibly struggled to keep his voice to a whisper. Jack figured he'd rather shout. "As flattering as that is, do you think you could_ possibly _not do this at work?" Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "You have no idea how hard this is for me." Jack grinned at his lover's choice of words. Daniel rolled his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest in defeat.

"Sorry." Jack tried to at least look sorry, but he had to fight to keep from grinning.

"No you're not." Daniel looked at him over his glasses, but his scowl was about as convincing as Jack's attempt at looking contrite.

"Am, too." Jack's grin was definitely winning.

"Are not." Daniel's scowl wavered a little more.

"Am, too." Who was he kidding? Jack wasn't sorry at all.

"Are, too." Daniel's scowl was history.

"Am, not." Jack had been so intent on watching Daniel's face and thinking about two weeks alone that he'd lost the thread of their play argument. "Hey!"

"Yes, Jack? Something on your mind?" Daniel was openly smirking.

"You, you," For a man who didn't want to risk dragging an illegal relationship into the open on base, Daniel was walking that thin line Hammond always warned him about. At the moment, Jack wanted nothing more but to kiss that triumphant smirk off the handsome face in front of him.

"Why, yes I am, Jack. How good of you to notice."

"You must have cheated." He didn't usually lose these bouts.

"Ha! You're just mad because now you're going to have to pay up." Jack could think of several pleasant ways to 'pay up'.

"Pay up? I don't recall betting anything." A man did have his pride.

"The spoils, Jack. The spoils." Daniel was positively gloating now. Which ended up not being a problem at all since Jack discovered he had a new kink. Gloating Daniel was_ hot _.

"What were we talking about before?" He'd have to wait to explore the full potential of gloating._ God, this bites! _

"Burying the gate."

"Oh, yeah." Damn. He'd really rather lose to Daniel again and see where it led. Jack decided he was_ never _playing gin with the man again. "Do you really think they'll do it?" Daniel scowled at him. Jack didn't think his heart was in it. Standing together like this was so not a good idea. It seemed that scowling was hot, too.

A heavy thud was followed by Carter's voice. "Sir? We're ready for you."

"Get your stuff." Jack beckoned to Caruthers and got his own pack. "Carter, once we're through, report to General Hammond."

"Yes, sir. We'll leave the mirror up in case you need to come through quickly." He nodded as he settled his pack on his back, resisting the urge to check Daniel's. He hadn't needed to do that for years, but it was a hard habit to break. "Ready?" Both men nodded and they stepped up to the mirror. Jack motioned for Caruthers to take point, even though the other room was empty and put his hand on Caruthers' shoulder. Daniel stood on his other side and touched the man's arm.

"It's okay. Just touch the surface of the mirror and we'll all go through." Jack wanted to just shove him but let Daniel talk him through it instead. No sense in pissing the man off for no reason. Either man. Caruthers raised a tentative hand and Jack could feel him take a deep breath before he touched the mirror. One annoying jolt of electricity later and they were facing the SGC. Carter and Frasier stood side by side and Carter waved to them. He waved back and turned to look around the room. It did look like a Daniel sort of room, books and artifacts covered most surfaces. The gate standing outside the window seemed fitting.

"I just hope the door's not going to be locked again."

"Not to worry, Danny boy, I came prepared." Jack dug into one of his pockets and pulled out a set of lock picks.

"What's that for?" Caruthers stared at the two men before heading to the desk.

"When I was here before, I had to wait for someone to open the door from the outside."

Caruthers lifted the lamp on the desk and flourished the key he found underneath it. "Wouldn't this be easier?"

"Tell me that wasn't there before." Daniel looked at Jack and shrugged helplessly. Oh, this could be fun. Jack could tease him about this one for months. His face must have given him away because Daniel's half-embarrassed expression changed to a narrow eyed glare that promised..._ Shit. I am in deep shit. _Even glaring Daniel was hot. Jack had to get a handle on this and soon. He couldn't go around wanting to jump or be jumped by his archeologist on every mission.

"Oh, no, no. Ian said he'd put it there for me." Caruthers calmly unlocked the door while Jack continued sneaking glances at Daniel to see if he was still ticked. That's when he remembered their 'audience'. Carter and Frasier were smiling way too much on the other side. "Give me a moment to make sure the corridor's clear. We really need to keep you out of sight." He ducked out quickly closing the door behind him.

Jack stood slightly behind the door so he wouldn't be seen by anyone on the other side when it opened again. Daniel prowled near the desk, looking over the papers there. They waited in silence and just when Jack was beginning to fidget, the door opened. He motioned to Daniel to stand away from it and then Caruthers stepped into the room. "The way is clear, gentlemen, if you'll follow me I'll show you to his lordship's suite."

Placing his finger over his mouth in a plea for silence, Caruthers led them out of the room. If the staircase and the front hall were anything to go by, this place was huge. The servants Jack had heard about were absent. They went up two flights and turned down a long hallway. Jack mentally placed them over the same corridor they'd entered when they left Lord Daniel's study. He really wished he had a layout of the place. He hated not knowing the lay of the land even if they were supposed to stay put for the duration. Caruthers finally stopped in front of the fourth door along the corridor. He knocked and entered without waiting for an answer. Jack and Daniel followed him, Jack still threat assessing and Daniel, no doubt, studying the architecture. Jack recognized the two younger men in the suite. Daniel had told him they were Ian and Jose, Lord Daniel's other consorts. Jose had been the one with the shotgun. Jack stared at him and noted him as the more dangerous of the two. Neither man was in as good shape as he or Daniel, but Jose carried himself like a soldier. The third man was older than Jack and he had the uncomfortable feeling he knew_ exactly _who he was. A quick glance at Daniel's white face confirmed it.

"Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you. Colonel Jack O'Neill, Doctor Daniel Jackson, this is Lord Jackson, Head of the House of Jackson, Duke of the West and Lord Cascadia's father."

"What have you done with my son!"

* * *

Daniel thought he'd prepared himself for this moment. In reality he realized he'd barely thought about it. Too much had happened in too short a period and his avoidance techniques had worked perfectly. He'd barely thought it through at all. _That's not Dad. He's been dead for over thirty years. That's his father, not mine._ His thoughts clamored for attention, but his aching heart told him otherwise. Human beings just weren't cut out for this sort of thing. Maybe some other species could assimilate the information better, but humans are such creatures of instinct and Daniel's instinct told him the man in front of him was the same man he'd known all those years ago. This man's hair was white, his face lined, but his dark eyes were the same. His hands were the same as the man Daniel remembered. The man who'd carefully taught him how to unearth an artifact, how to piece together the broken bits. The man who'd first shown him the wonders of Ancient Egypt and held him after the nightmares brought on from too many hours in dark scary tombs. Images of him laughing, giving orders to the diggers, dancing with his mother, countless other moments from their brief life together flashed through Daniel's mind like a manic Power Point presentation. Somewhere there were voices but he had no idea what they were saying. He couldn't hear them over the pounding of his heart and the rushing in his ears.

"What have you done with my son!" _I'm here, Dad!_ Even his voice rang through Daniel's memories.

"I'm," _God, no, don't! You're not who he's talking about!_ That thought was like a blow. For a single moment, Daniel hated his counterpart. He had almost _everything_ Daniel wanted. He could live openly with his O'Neill, he had children. He had _his father_. "I'm sorry, he's, um,"

"Your Grace, no one has done _anything_ with Lord Cascadia that isn't in his best interests. He's still on the other side of the mirror because _that's_ where _I_ determined he can receive the care he needs for the moment." Daniel heard Devon's words as he slowly started becoming aware of his surroundings again. Someone's arm was around Daniel's waist, which was good because he wasn't certain his legs would continue to hold him up. Jack. Jack was there. He looked at his lover.

"You okay?" Jack's whisper didn't carry far, didn't interrupt the argument going on in front of them.

"No. Not really." He wished he could smile to take some of the worry from the other man's face, but knew there was no way he could muster one. Jack's strong arms pulled him and Daniel let himself follow. He managed a few shaky steps then he was turned and urged to sit. He fell into something soft and realized it was the same sofa he'd sat on the last time he was here. That's when he realized someone, most likely Jack, had removed his pack. _Get a grip. This is a mission. You can't fall apart._ Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Drawing on lessons he'd learned meditating with Teal'c he calmed himself. Jonathan had told him Lord Jackson had been called, but the ramifications of that summons hadn't sunk in.

"Better?" Jack's concerned voice drew Daniel out of his contemplation. He nodded feeling suddenly embarrassed.

"Yeah." He looked up at the other men and let his eyes skim over Lord Jackson. He'd have to push past this, but maybe he could do it incrementally. "Sorry, um, for this. It's just," _Okay, this is going well._

"A shock?" Devon sat on his other side and took his wrist while looking at his watch. Now Daniel found a weak smile. Why did doctors _always_ ask a question just as they started doing something that prevented the patient from answering? Devon nodded as he finished and patted Daniel's shoulder. "Why don't you sit here for a moment while I fill the family in?"

"Thanks, Devon." Daniel sat back tried to shift into professional mode. This was a mission and he needed to be able to relate to these people. Jack settled in next to him and when Daniel glanced at him, he got a quick wink in response. Drawing strength from his lover's presence, he turned back to the others. Ian and Jose were sitting in adjacent chairs while Devon delivered his report to a pacing Lord Jackson. He began with Daniel's illness which, judging from the older man's expression, he'd already been told about. Ian and Jose sat quietly since they knew this part, but Lord Jackson's questions came thick and fast. Devon answered them as he segued into what they'd found. Now it was Lord Jackson's turn to be shocked. He finally sat and listened to the rest of Devon's tale in silence while Daniel stared at him wistfully. He was thirty years older than the father Daniel remembered, but his expressions were the same. Now that his initial shock was over, he found it easier to see him. Daniel fought down the desire to get to know the man. He'd likely have to spend some time with him, but this was only for a few days. This was a humanitarian mission and when it was over, they'd say their farewells to these men and go on with their lives.

Daniel took a mental step back from the situation and started analyzing what he was seeing. Forcing himself into professional discipline helped him control the emotional turmoil underneath. Ian was the caretaker of the group. That fit from hearing his counterpart's description of his position in the household. When Devon described his son's illness, Ian was the one who brought Lord Jackson brandy, offering the rest the same. Daniel declined and was presented with what turned out to be cranberry juice. He and his alternate shared the same tastes, apparently. He thought of the man beside him and snorted quietly. Jose kept himself between them and Lord Jackson. The protector, as he was when Daniel first met him. He'd apparently been in some sort of military or law enforcement position prior to his marriage. Frankly, Daniel had still been dealing with the idea of California being a nation when that had been mentioned. It was difficult to glean much about Lord Jackson's relationship with them under these circumstances. Daniel had gotten the impression that there was some friction between father and son. He bit down on his resentment at that thought. It wasn't any of his business, it didn't relate to him. He gave himself a mental shake and went back to his observations. Did the older man see himself as his son's consorts' father-in-law? How did he feel about his son's household? From things said, as well as things left unsaid, at the SGC, Daniel ran his household a little differently than other men in his position. Was that the source of the friction or was it something deeper? He apparently embraced his grandsons since they'd gone to visit him. Daniel wondered if the boys returned with him. If they were, this could become even more awkward. For all of them.

"Your thoughts, Doctor Jackson?" Jack whispered so as not to interrupt Devon. They'd used each other's titles more since becoming lovers than they had since they first met. Hearing Jack whisper "Doctor Jackson" did things to his body that weren't appropriate for the setting. Daniel wondered how he could manage to get him to call him that in bed.

"Just wondering about the relationships here." Daniel kept his voice equally quiet. "This would be a fascinating anthropological study. They've devised a completely unique social structure in a very short time. In some ways it's reminiscent of the bachelor groups we found on," Jack covered Daniel's mouth and nodded to their companions who were now watching them. Daniel felt his face flush. Not even getting laughed off the stage in Los Angeles had been this embarrassing. Jack released him, touching his arm for a moment.

"Uhm," he cleared his throat, "I'm terribly sorry, that was insensitive and," before he could finish Lord Jackson burst into laughter. Soon the others followed and Daniel wished he could disappear into the sofa. It didn't help when Jack joined them. "Jack!" He spit his lover's name out between clinched teeth.

"Daniel! Relax!" Jack calmed down enough to speak, which was better than the others were doing. "They _know_ you!" He waved a hand, "The _other_ you." He patted Daniel's knee and shook his head. "Just be glad Carter and Teal'c weren't here." The thought of their reactions to his inappropriate academic fervor forced a smile out of him and soon he chuckled along with the others.

"No, Doctor, I'm the one who should apologize." Lord Jackson leaned forward in his chair, arms resting on his thighs, hands dangling between his legs. Daniel's heart clinched at half-remembered position. "They," his counterpart's father nodded to Jose and Ian, "told me how similar you are and now that I see it for myself. I'm sorry for laughing, that was rude." He grinned now, shaking his head. "Not only do you share my son's interests," he darted a glance at Jack, "but you have his passion as well. Tell me, what is your doctorate in?"

"Archeology." Daniel had an idea and decided to run with it. "My parents were archeologists. I never wanted to be anything else." Maybe if he could keep reminding himself of his own father, this familiar stranger in front of him would stop reminding him of what he'd lost. He needed to keep in mind what he'd had.

"And one in linguistics. Can't forget that Mr. I Speak More Than Twenty-Three Languages." Jack spoke with pride. He'd always seemed proud of Daniel's achievements, which had never made any sense to Daniel. It reminded him of Lord Daniel telling them about Jonathan's power plant designs.

"More than twenty-three? That's quite impressive." Daniel couldn't help the warmth that spread through him at Lord Jackson's praise.

"It was twenty-three when we met. He's picked up a few since then." Doting Jack was getting a little embarrassing. Hot, but embarrassing.

"Jack. I don't think we need to go into that." Daniel scowled at his lover and got confirmation of his earlier suspicion, Jack liked it when he scowled at him. _Damn, why didn't we figure this out years ago?_

"Not anthropology?" Lord Jackson's eyes twinkled as he teased.

"Um, well, yes, that, too." Daniel could do this. If there was one thing he'd never been self-conscious about it was his academic achievements. He'd worked hard for his degrees and done it almost completely on his own. The only person who'd been there was Mrs. Greenleaf, his social worker who'd helped him claw his way through the system to get into college at fifteen as an emancipated minor. Even then the court only granted it provisionally until he was sixteen and had proven himself capable of taking care of himself in the supportive world of higher education. UCLA wasn't generally known as taking in loco parentis to heart, especially not when he was there, but they did well by him. Better than many of the foster homes he'd been in. At least at school he hadn't had to deal with mercurial foster parents and often-cruel foster siblings.

"I've always wondered why you rarely mention that one." Jack could be subtle, but rarely bothered. Daniel shrugged.

"Habit. Doctor Jordan offered me the position in Chicago right after I did my orals and, um, I took it. Until the SGC, I never really used it." Doctor Jordan's death still grieved him. Daniel had wanted to tell these men about the Goa'uld they'd found still present on their Earth, but he'd been vetoed. The rationale was that their universe was different enough that those snakes might not be here. He'd had to admit that they were only guessing that the early death of George III was the event that caused their universes to diverge. The final argument was that if Nirrti was there, she might seek them out as allies and they didn't want to risk the information getting into the wrong hands. Maybe they could tell them later, if they ever found out what happened to Nirrti for certain. The last thing these people needed were more snakes.

Lord Jackson was openly staring at him. Daniel wished Devon would pick up the thread of his story.

"Dan, I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson," Daniel started to correct him, but didn't, no matter how much he wanted to hear his name from the other man. _Keep it formal._ It still hurt. "I assume your father is deceased?"

"Yes, sir." With a sinking feeling, he realized he'd have to give a little more or be rude. "My parents died in an accident." He crossed his arms and looked down for a moment. "It was a long time ago. Seeing you was a bit of a shock." He smiled to hide the pain, but wasn't sure anyone bought it.

"They died together." Lord Jackson's voice echoed Daniel's own envy of his other self. Daniel nodded in empathy. His decades old grief was replaced by his more recent loss in the wake of the older man's distress. Even though he'd found love again, there was a hole in his heart where his Shaur'e had been. Nothing would ever fill it. Ian got up and poured a little more brandy into Lord Jackson's snifter.

"Mel, why don't we take a break?" Ian laid his hand on his father-in-law's shoulder. "You've traveled most of the day and I doubt you've eaten recently. Plus you've had our hellions for a couple of weeks. That's enough to wear anyone out. Daniel will kill me if I don't see to it that you take care of yourself." He smiled and the older man nodded. Probably just as well. They'd just handed the old man a series of shocks. Taking a little time to assimilate it would be good. From what Daniel's counterpart had told him, his father was a member of the Grand Council. It was quite likely that he knew the men responsible for this. Possible that he knew the host Nirrti was hiding in, though they hadn't told any of them their suspicions about her, yet. They also hadn't told him yet about his new granddaughter, just that Daniel was recovering and he'd apparently assumed that Jonathan would insist on staying with his husband.

"My son has taught you some very bad habits, Ian." There was more tease than accusation in his words, causing Daniel to refine his assumptions on the men's relationships. Whatever the friction between Lord Jackson and his son, there seemed to be genuine affection between these men.

"I beg to differ, sir. I think he's taught me quite a few very good habits." Ian smiled and the older man shook his head ruefully.

"I think I've been spending too much time with Nick. I'm beginning to sound like him." The few memories Daniel had of Nick before his parents died consisted mostly of the old man's constant dismissive remarks about his father. He hadn't thought Melbourne Jackson good enough for his daughter and never let either of them forget it. Daniel had been torn between loyalty to his beloved father and wanting to do anything to gain his grandfather's respect and affection. It had hurt when Nick hadn't wanted him, but at some level he'd been almost glad to not have to live with him. Even as a child, he suspected he'd never have been quick enough, smart enough, good enough to overcome Nick's prejudice against his father.

"How is Nick, sir?" Jose spoke for the first time.

"He has good days and bad days." Lord Jackson addressed Daniel and Jack as he explained. "He was very sick for a long time with Compton's and Anika's death hit him hard." Daniel's mind reeled. His grandmother had died when his mother was very young. She'd told him she didn't remember her at all. He wasn't completely certain of the cause, but he thought it might have been in childbirth. Nick had never spoken of his wife at all in Daniel's presence. _Just one more difference._ Just one more thing _he'd_ lost that _ this_ Daniel hadn't. "I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson, I'm upsetting you." Daniel was startled out of his thoughts. He hadn't realized he'd let anything show. His usual barriers were well and truly down.

"No, no, it's all right, sir." He tried to reassure the other man, tried to turn attention away from him. He didn't need anyone's pity. "It's just," he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath, grateful for the hand Jack kept on his arm. It helped keep him grounded. "It's one thing to see the, the big differences here. It's surprisingly more difficult to see," he searched for the words that would express what he wanted without sounding self- pitying.

"See the stuff that only applies to you?" Jack squeezed his arm. "Daniel, the stuff that applies to us is _always_ big stuff." So much for keeping this impersonal and professional. For the millionth time Daniel wondered why the universe seemed determined to make his private life the stuff of mission reports. Make that universes.

"Yeah." He let the word out slowly and shifted mental gears again. He slapped his thighs and stood up quickly, preferring to be in motion while he did this, if he had to do it at all and it seemed there was no good way to avoid it. "Look, lets get this part over with, shall we?" Noting the slightly surprised, but mostly amused expressions on his audience's faces he dove into his recitation with forced lightness. "My paternal grandparents died before I was born." Lord Jackson just nodded, which indicated to Daniel that this was probably at least roughly the same in both universes. "My maternal grandmother died, I think in childbirth, years and years before I was born, but since my mother didn't remember her, she never talked about her at all. Nick never did either. They died, Nick walked, I grew up, went to school, got myself laughed out of my profession because I had the audacity to be _right_ and now I'm here."

He stopped pacing and looked around at everyone. With grim satisfaction Daniel noticed a distinct lack of amusement now. He was angry, hating every single one of them for forcing this out of him. Might as well give them all of it. "Oh, wait, I forgot. Went on the first mission through the gate, got married, left her to get taken by a snake and then one of my best friends had to kill her when her snake was trying to kill me. You really should be taking notes, you know. There might be a quiz later."

"Daniel!" Jack barked his name. Daniel knew that tone but didn't really care at the moment. He was unraveling, but didn't know how to stop it or even if he wanted to.

"Jack? Did I leave anything out? Oh, of course, silly of me." He started his pacing again, "Let's see, sarcophagus addiction, and I really don't recommend that, by the way. Tossed in a padded cell with one of Machello's little gizmos in me, nearly tossed in a padded cell with twelve alien personalities downloaded into my head, almost fell for someone with the adorable nickname of "Destroyer of Worlds", ran into an old girlfriend with a snake in her head, died a _bunch_ of times." As he talked, he strode to the sideboard and poured himself a glass of something out of a cut crystal decanter. Daniel felt manic and needed something to that would calm him down. He wanted to stop, to apologize, but couldn't. He really wanted to just grab Jack and go home. Tell them they couldn't do this, that the others had to leave. For once, he wanted to be selfish and do something for _him_. Instead, Daniel tossed back his drink relishing the fiery path it traced to his stomach and poured again. He grinned despite the horror in his mind and the tears he felt forming. "If any of you ever think about suicide, I suggest you avoid radiation sickness, it's not nearly as fun as say a staff blast. But hey, I got to ascend to a higher plane of existence," he used one hand to illustrate his ascension treating it as the meaningless exercise in futility it had been, "where I achieved absolutely nothing but the destruction of an entire planet and got my memories wiped as a consolation prize." He tossed back the second drink and addressed his "class" as he'd started thinking of them. Daniel Jackson 101. "Any questions?" He felt the alcohol begin to work its way into his system. He wanted to be numb, but didn't think there was enough liquor in both universes to achieve that now. Daniel headed back to the sideboard, poured again and stood there staring into his refilled glass. This was a mission. Shame flooded through him. He couldn't do this.

"Danny." He choked back the sob that rose at that voice saying his name. He hadn't felt that hand on his shoulder outside his dreams in more than thirty years. No. Not _ his_ father. He clutched at the faded remnants of his anger.

"No!" Daniel whirled and staggered away from _Lord Cascadia's_ father. "No! _ You_ don't get to call me that!" He heard his glass shatter against the far wall before he even realized he'd thrown it. "You're _not_ him! You're not _my_ father! He's _ dead_!" Daniel turned and bumped into the dining table. He leaned against it, head down, futility trying to stop the tears streaming down his face.

"Daniel." Lord Jackson's voice was softer this time, but just as close. "I listened to you. Please, hear me now." Strong gentle hands rubbed his back. Insistent pressure around his shoulders turned him as his father's counterpart pulled him into an embrace. Daniel's resistance melted along with the last of his control. He buried his face in this stranger's neck his familiar scent blasting through Daniel's brain which told him again that this was the same man he'd loved and lost so long ago. Finally Daniel let go and sobbed out his untouched grief of thirty years. The man's hand stroked Daniel's hair while the other held him securely. Soft words of comfort whispered in his ear and slowly the storm eased.

"Sorry." Daniel's voice was muffled and choked, but he didn't want to move. Didn't want to leave this because he knew he'd never have it again. He understood now why Jack had kissed Samantha O'Neill. It had been a gift, nothing more. A goodbye he could give her that her husband hadn't been able to.

"Shhh, there's nothing to be sorry for." Daniel nodded against his almost father's neck and gripped the back of the man's shirt more tightly. "Better?" Daniel nodded again and couldn't help smiling through his tears. His Dad had always asked him that after holding him through whatever upset sent him into his arms. He wasn't surprised to feel a kiss pressed into his hair. That, too, was old and familiar. "Good. I need to say something and I want you to listen." Daniel nodded again, he was too exhausted to speak. "When I see you, I see how like my son you are. Not even my twin grandsons are as similar as the two of you. You really _are_ the same person." Daniel squeezed his eyes more tightly shut, wanting to stifle more tears, but it didn't work. "My sons-in-law told me about that when I got here, but I didn't really believe them until now." Daniel giggled. He felt drunk, but not entirely from alcohol. All he could think at the moment was that he could check how Lord Jackson felt about his son's consorts off his list of unanswered questions.

"Daniel?"

"N-nothing." He was amazed he could get the word out. He fought down the laughter. "I'll, I'll tell you later." His father's counterpart, he couldn't think of him as "Lord Jackson" any more, hugged him tighter for a moment.

"Okay, when you're ready." Another kiss was pressed into his hair. "I can only assume that I, well, _your_ father and I would have been the same had we ever met." Daniel's heart started to pound in time with his throbbing head. "I can't fully speak for him, but if it were _my_ son in your position, I'd want him to know" the older man pulled back a little and turned Daniel's head so they were looking into each other's eyes the man's hand cupping Daniel's cheek. His eyes were almost as red and puffy as Daniel imagined his to be and his face was wet with his own tears. Daniel held his breath. "I'd want him to know that his father loves him, no matter which universe he was born in."

With a fresh flood of tears, Daniel pulled the beloved stranger into a hug of his own. He struggled for enough control to force words out. "I think," he puffed, his sinuses too swollen with tears to let him breathe properly, "I think you're probably right." Daniel pulled back to look at the man again. His smile was genuine this time as he memorized every line, every wrinkle. "_He_ usually was, so why would you be any different?" His almost father smiled back.

"And since we now both know I'm usually right, why don't you and your _friend_" he raised his eyebrow in question as he said the word and Daniel looked down, blushing, "go and rest for a while before dinner." Daniel looked up and nodded, his fading blush still in evidence. The old man cradled Daniel's face in his palms and gently kissed his forehead making Daniel want to weep again for the painful familiarity of it all.

"Yes, sir." Then Jack was there, his arm around Daniel's shoulders and he decided he'd had enough and he leaned into his lover's embrace.

"Then, perhaps, we can hear about the rest of what you've been doing all these years." Daniel wondered again there was never an attack when he really needed one. "I got the impression that there were a few things left out."

"Oh, yeah. You should read his mission reports." Jack shuddered, but his hand on Daniel's shoulder continued to stroke gently. "All the good stuff is buried behind tons of crap nobody outside his department understands."

"Gee, thanks, Jack. How about next time I give it to you in Power Point? That way you can sleep through it without drooling on the paper." God, he loved this man. As long as he was irritating him, Daniel could get a handle on his emotions just so he could focus on making Jack equally miserable.

"Oh, would you?" Jack beamed at Melbourne Jackson who smiled back. "What a guy!"

"I couldn't agree more, Jon, I'm sorry, I keep doing this. Colonel."

"No need to be so formal. Jack's fine." _Yes,_ Daniel thought, _Jack certainly is fine._

"Jack it is, then." He squeezed Daniel's shoulder once more and gave him a gentle smile that Daniel returned. "Until later, then." He released Daniel's shoulder and left the room, gesturing to Devon to join him.

Devon had been on the far side of the room with Ian and Jose apparently _not_ seeing or hearing anything. He said his goodbyes to them all and followed with a quiet, "Yes, Your Grace" shutting the door behind him.

"So, you heard the man. We should _rest_ before dinner. Sounds like an excellent idea, don't you agree Doctor Jackson?" Daniel laid his head against Jack and nodded. Earlier he'd wanted to be numb and it seemed he'd finally achieved his goal, except for his headache courtesy of his crying jag. He was numb and exhausted. Somewhere deep down he thought he might be a little happy, but he couldn't really feel it through his bone numbing fatigue.

"Gentlemen," Ian was playing host again it seemed, "Please, Daniel and Jonathan would want you to use their room." He let Jack lead him to the doorway. "We need to keep up the illusion that they're still here anyway." Ian shrugged and led them into the bedroom.

Daniel half-listened to Jack and Ian discussing something, but all Daniel could think of was how comfortable that big bed looked. He sat down on it and flopped back, feeling his body relaxing into its soft grip. His head was pounding and he couldn't breathe through his nose, but even those discomforts were minor compared to the rest his body clamored for. Daniel dimly registered the door closing, but didn't want to think about it. He was on the cusp of sleep when something tugging at his feet roused him enough to remember he was still fully dressed and only half on the bed. He raised himself onto his elbows enough to see Jack had begun to undress him. Worn out as he was, the idea of Jack undressing him got him half hard but he figured that's as far as he'd be able to go without some sleep.

"Hey, Danny Boy, still with me?" That was his lover's voice, not his team leader's. Definitely a case of the spirit being willing but the flesh being all but comatose.

"Sorta." A jaw-cracking yawn underlined his response.

"C'mon, big guy, lets get you ready for bed, hum?" Jack grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. Daniel's arms went around him automatically and he snuggled sleepily into his lover. "Let's go, love. Clothes, bathroom, bed."

Daniel nodded, smiling. "You, too?"

"Just _try_ to keep me away, but just to sleep for now. You're dead on your feet." Daniel yawned again and straightened up so he could undress. He wandered through the room toward the bathroom, dropping clothes as he went. He stopped when he noticed a large grouping of pictures on the wall. He stepped toward them and gently brushed his fingers over the faces of this other Daniel's family. Jack's arms wrapped around his waist and Daniel felt him rest his chin on his shoulder.

"Do you think he knows, Jack?" Jack snorted in his ear.

"About us? I don't think we were hiding it very well out there." Daniel smiled and playfully slapped his lover's thigh.

"Wrong he. Wrong question."

"Oh! I can figure out the he, but what's the right question?" Jack kissed Daniel's neck.

"Does he know how lucky he is?" Jack moved his arms to more fully embrace Daniel and Daniel leaned a little on his lover.

"I don't know, love." Jack moved around until he was facing Daniel. "Sometimes what you've got is hidden by all the stuff you've lost."

"Maybe I'll tell him." He'd have to make sure he had a chance to sit down with his fortunate alternate self and tell him.

"Maybe you should." Jack leaned in and kissed Daniel's forehead in odd mimicry of the old man's gesture of affection and then kissed him with a lover's gentle passion. Wishing he wasn't so tired, that he hadn't had so much whiskey, that this rollercoaster ride was over, that they were home, Daniel kissed him back.

"Then I think I'll tell him how lucky I am." All the wonders he'd left out of his tirade flooded through his mind. Places he'd been. People he'd loved. People who'd loved him back. The man in his arms.

"Is that how you really feel, Daniel?" He heard the doubt in Jack's voice, but there was no doubt left in Daniel's heart.

"Yeah, it is." He'd been alone for so long, but now he realized for the first time that he hadn't been really alone for a long time. Not long ago he'd told Teal'c that he finally knew where home was, but it wasn't until this moment that he understood what that truly meant. He traced the lines of his lover's face and kissed him again. When they both needed to breathe he whispered, "I'm a very lucky man."

* * *

Jack listened to Daniel snoring lightly against his neck. He'd been asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. Short nights, emotional turmoil and way too much whiskey on an empty stomach had worn him out. Jack was wide-awake. All he could hear was Daniel and a clock ticking off the time. Ian and Jose had left them alone to join their father-in-law and Caruthers. There was no direct, obvious threat here, but his instincts had him on alert, which was why there was a zat under their pillow and one inches from Jack's hand under the covers. This whole situation had been a mind fuck from the outset. As if the whole Lord Daniel/Jonathan/pregnant thing wasn't bad enough, now Daniel had to face meeting up with his dead father. They so did not cover this in leadership school. Time to take it back to basics. Toss out all the speculation from the past week or so and look at it fresh. This was the first quiet time he'd really had since this started. What did they have and what did they need?

They had an Earth attacked and then subsequently abandoned by Niriti's forces upon her supposed death. An engineered plague designed to kill females and sterilize most males. Medical technology far in advance of what they should have had appeared to allow the species to continue to reproduce. Then they had the dark side, which included tainted drugs that compromised the few men still able to reproduce and spread the virus to every newborn. That the children's parents were unknowingly delivering the virus was a particularly vicious twist worthy of a System Lord. Particularly Niriti. It was possible that she really was dead, but all the evidence pointed to a snake behind the tainted drugs. It just had that Gooldish feel to it. A human bent on world domination would have taken more direct action in the wake of the disaster.

The woman killing plague idea never had sat well with Jack. It made no military sense. Snakes wanted slaves and hosts. In order to have that they needed breeding humans. The snakes were arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic, paranoid and pathologically incapable of believing they could fail. That last was their biggest flaw and the SGC's greatest weapon. Unfortunately, they were also smart, ruthless, outrageously experienced and had fanatically devoted followers willing to throw themselves into the breach at the whim of their "gods".

The Niriti he knew and hated had been working on developing an advanced host for millennia. None of them had been surprised that she'd used a virus here to do her dirty work of bringing the population down to a more manageable level. Jack would bet his pension that her virus had been designed to leave fertile men who had particularly desirable genes for her purposes. The big question was why kill the women? Why not kill off the men? Surely it would have been easier to breed from an all female population. If nothing else, a woman's body would require no intervention aside from conception and that was theoretically possible on _his_ planet. That's assuming she'd actively tried to take out one gender at all. Why not just target those with undesirable genes and leave the others sterile without her direct intervention. He didn't know squat about the kind of genetic engineering that would be required, but he didn't doubt Niriti was capable of it. That would have allowed her to pick and choose who bred with whom and still achieve her goals with fewer resources devoted just to her experiment. A slave population that had to devote everything to reproduction wouldn't generally satisfy a snake, especially on a planet with a population as large as this one had been. Why wouldn't she have planned to start transporting slaves to another of her planets to build ships or something? Teal'c had told them time and again that a System Lord's position was based, in part, on how many slaves he or she had under their control.

So far, so good. This was all stuff they'd batted around back at the SGC. Everyone had been so intent on the mechanics of the current situation and how to resolve it that they'd never really gone farther. Except for Teal'c. He'd suggested to Jack that someone in Niriti's own power structure could have deliberately sabotaged her virus to target Niriti's host in order to make her vulnerable. He'd reminded Jack that System Lords feared their own lieutenants more than their overt rivals. Assassination and usurpation was a traditional method of advancement into the ranks of the System Lords.

That scenario made a great deal of sense. A subordinate snake in the right position sabotaged the virus, took out Niriti and was now making the most of the situation at hand. The only problem with that was the apparent lack of snakoid presence on the planet. Why would the victor be in hiding? Why would they have gone and left an entire highly populated planet untended? Why was the gate, or the mirror, for that matter, allowed to be in human hands? Jack didn't think they had the second gate, either, since this one would be reacting every time the other one was used. The Russians had had to be very careful about using theirs to keep the SGC from discovering their competing project. Someone would have noticed _something_. So, no gate in use. Even under the circumstances on this world, a Jaffa army would be hard to hide. It was looking less and less like a power play by an ambitious snake in Niriti's organization. Which left only one logical option. The goddamned Tok'ra.

This had their slimy fingerprints all over it. They were always ready to fight to the last drop of their allies' blood in pursuit of their goals. Killing more than half the population of a planet to get a single snake would be just their style. Jack could hear it now, oddly enough in Anise's voice, "The losses were considered acceptable. Once Niriti had been neutralized we did remain long enough to ensure the continuing survival of the population. In time they will be able to return to normal methods of procreation. I don't know why you're upset, Colonel. It is better than what Niriti had planned for them." Jack ground his teeth in anger and he gripped Daniel hard enough to rouse him.

"J'ck?" Daniel rubbed his face against Jack's shoulder apparently not wanting to wake up.

"Shh, Danny, go back to sleep." Jack forced himself to relax and stroked his lover's back until Daniel settled again. He was still a little amazed at how easily they'd slipped into their new relationship. They'd only spent one night together and yet holding Daniel while he slept felt so very right. Yes, they'd huddled together for warmth on missions, but that had been very different. Jack resisted returning to his analysis until Daniel's snores told him the exhausted man was deeply asleep again.

The Tok'ra sabotaged the virus. The more Jack thought about it, the more certain he became that he was on the right track. But that didn't answer the question of who was tampering with the drugs. No matter how he felt about the Tok'ra's methods even he couldn't believe they would knowingly murder children in this way. There was nothing they could reasonably gain. The Tok'ra were remarkably single-minded in their hatred for their cousins. It would be completely out of character for them, assuming they were the same here as they were back home. That thought reminded him that he was working with way too many unknown variables. Jack frowned, but decided to go with what he knew until he had evidence to the contrary. For the time being, he'd assume that the Tok'ra were more or less the same in both universes. The saboteur was Tok'ra, or someone similar, but the tainted drugs had to be the other kind of snake and Jack would lay dollars to doughnuts it was Niriti.

Now, what did they need? They needed to know what the hell was going on. Was the Tok'ra agent still around? Logic said he'd stuck around long enough to get the male breeding program set up. Jack wasn't really sure Niriti would have bothered. She'd most likely have picked up stakes and moved on, leaving the population to its own devices when her initial plan cratered. Assuming she could have left. Perhaps the Tok'ra had been behind the desertion of her armies. Jack mused on this for a bit. Niriti had to know where the gate was. She, or would that be "he" now, surely knew the whereabouts of at least one of them. She would have identified their locations from space. They'd have been the only significant naquadah readings on the planet. Most likely she would have bailed and gone to another of her planets to start again. This operation was too fucked for even her ego. No, if she's still around it's because she couldn't leave for some reason. Maybe she doesn't have anywhere to go. Jack didn't think so. She'd had ships, multiple. That implied a power base larger than she'd had in his universe. For a System Lord that meant planets, plural. He really wished he could talk to Daniel about this, but the man needed his sleep. Jack would present him with his conclusions later. If the gate in the yard was the one from Giza, that meant the other gate was pretty much inaccessible to Niriti at the moment. Daniel had told him that the gate had been sent to Lord Daniel by his father along with the mirror and everything else of Niriti's that he could lay hands on. Lord Daniel was trying to decipher it, but that wasn't widely known. Even if she had a small ship secreted away, getting to the free gate and getting away would be risky and he wasn't sure she would have been able to determine if the Antarctic DHD was working from orbit. Daniel might be able to help him with that one. He knew this kind of stuff. If it came to it, he'd toss a note through to Carter and ask her.

Why would she be hiding? Because the Tok'ra agent was still around and she couldn't get to him to get rid of him. She had to be hiding in a fairly high placed host or at least one with direct access to the drugs. That put her either on the Grand Council or, more likely, the, Jack wracked his brain trying to remember what Daniel had called the other group. The Reproductive Council. They were the ones in charge of, well, reproduction. Or she could be in one of the scientists working directly with the various drugs. A scientist would be the most logical choice, but would she have stayed there? Jack put himself into his opponent's position. He was a snake able to change hosts, if not at will, at least from time to time. A human would be at great risk trying to move from one position to another, but a snake could pick and choose. Take over this scientist, do her work and then jump to a policy maker to make sure no one changed things. He needed to talk to Frasier. Could the drugs be rigged through some kind of division of labor so no one scientist knew what was happening? If he'd been the one planning it, he would have wanted to have someone working the drugs and someone else, probably himself, orchestrating policy. Given what must have happened to Niriti, he doubted she was in a trusting mood. No, she'd be doing it all herself, somehow. She was jumping hosts.

Keeping all the drugs coming from a single source made some sense for now but eventually things should recover to the point where they could afford to have additional manufacturing sites. As it stood, a single natural disaster could wipe out their ability to reproduce at all. Someone somewhere was sweating bullets over that one. Niriti wouldn't want to give up control, though. The more people handling the goods, the greater the risk of someone figuring it out. He'd love to know if there'd been any mysterious deaths in key positions. Snakes had a way of leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. If he were going to investigate this, that's where he'd start looking. Follow the bodies and see where they led.

Jack yawned. He'd gone as far as he reasonably could with his analysis without additional information. Some he could get from Daniel, but the rest would need to come from someone here. He glanced at the clock on the mantel and did a double take. He'd seen it when they first came in, but had been too concerned about Daniel to look closely. His grandmother had had a clock just like that, but it had been destroyed in a fire when he was a kid. He smiled remembering his fascination with it and how Grandma had promised he could have it when he was grown. At the time he hadn't thought about her meaning, but after she died the clock was mentioned in her will even though it had been gone for years. She'd left it to him.

Jonathan's clock, and he just knew it was his, told him they had another four hours before they needed to get ready for dinner with the elder Jackson and wasn't that a kick in the head. He hoped Daniel would be ready for that. Jack really wanted to just grab him and take him back through the mirror, but he couldn't abort a mission just because a member of his team was having a tough time with the natives. He reminded himself they weren't in any danger, for the moment. His instincts were still yelling for him to watch out, but he acknowledged that he might not be as objective as he should be. God, they needed to get a handle on this whole thing and do it quickly. He couldn't in good conscience continue to lead his team if he couldn't maintain his objectivity. Yes, he'd always been closer to SG1 than he had any right to be, but it _worked_ for them and consequently it worked for the SGC and the whole damn planet. He'd also always watched out for Daniel more than the others, mainly because Daniel had needed it back in the beginning. Now it was more habit than anything else. Daniel was perfectly capable of taking care of himself in the field, but he was _Daniel_. They couldn't afford to lose him no matter what. Not again. The year he'd been gone had been horrible. Even then, though, he wasn't really _gone_. He'd still been watching their backs.

Somehow Jack was going to have to find a way to compartmentalize his lover and his teammate without alienating either one. _That_ was the reason behind the frat rules. He'd always thought who a man or woman slept with was nobody's business and even if "don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue, don't harass" was a step in the right direction, it wasn't nearly enough. Back at the academy his ethics class had been assigned the task of writing a paper refuting an Air Force policy. He and several of his classmates had chosen the same-sex relationship proscription. He'd argued that the rationale that having a same-sex relationship made an officer ripe for blackmail was self-defeating since all the Air Force had to do was make such relationships legal to avoid the risk. He'd gotten an "A" for his reasoning, though his instructor had taken him aside and suggested he keep his argument to himself. He'd proven that he could think for himself, which was the object of the exercise, but he didn't want to raise any suspicion. That's what had killed his burgeoning relationship with Thomas.

Jack wasn't that kid any more. He'd been there, shot that and he decided if he couldn't compartmentalize, well, his knees and his back frequently reminded him just how much of a kid he wasn't. He closed his eyes, set his own internal clock and prepared to join his lover in sleep. As he was drifting off he remembered something he'd started to tell Daniel way too early that morning before the phone rang. As far as Jack was concerned, he'd pick Daniel over the Air Force any day of the week.

Jack's eyes flew open. He checked the clock, _Right on time_. He took a moment to assess the current situation then gingerly nudged Daniel off his chest and sat up. He'd take care of his needs first and leave Daniel to sleep for a little while longer. Jack grabbed the zat under the sheet but before he could tuck it into his belt there was a knock at the door. He stood, keeping the weapon behind him and out of sight as the door opened. An old man, probably a servant, entered carrying what looked and smelled like coffee on a silver tray. This was probably the man Daniel had told him about. Becker or Beckett or something starting with a "B".

"Good evening, sir." Bender kept his voice low, apparently not wanting to disturb Daniel, either. "Lord Jackson suggested you and," he paused in a way what was becoming much too familiar, "_Doctor_ Jackson might enjoy a cup of coffee before dinner." He set the tray down on the small table near the window then turned back to address Jack. "My name is Beecham. I will be attending to your needs while you are here. Is there anything else you require?"

"Thank you, Beecham, I think we're good here." Beecham kept shooting glances between Jack and Daniel. Jack was getting a little tired of the constant gawking, but he supposed the two of them looked different enough from the counterparts to warrant it. Lord Daniel was still the somewhat reedy academic Daniel had been way back when. He was in decent physical shape, but hadn't been dodging staff blasts for almost ten years. Daniel's well-developed chest and arms were all too evident as he lay sleeping on his back with the sheet bunched at his waist. Jack, on the other hand, was in much the same shape, knees and back aside, that he'd been in for years. Jonathan was beefier even without the obvious complication of being recently pregnant.

"Sir, Lord Jackson suggested that if you so desired, Lord Cascadia and his gentleman wouldn't mind if you borrowed some of their clothing." Jack had the distinct impression that their BDUs wouldn't be welcome at the dinner table. Jack looked again at his sleeping lover. The clothing here was very similar to what was worn at home, if a lot less casual. Going native always left him feeling vulnerable. At least here he'd be in fairly ordinary clothes. It was the feathers and mud that really annoyed him. He weighed the options. He could insist they go as they were and possibly insult their host. It was also virtually impossible to hide a zat in BDUs. On the other hand, the jackets they'd be wearing if they borrowed clothes would allow for both of them to be armed without alerting anyone to that fact. Assuming they could find anything that fit.

"I don't know if that would work, Beecham." He wanted to say that there was no way Daniel could squeeze into any of Lord Daniel's shirts without ripping them. _I so did not need that image._ Jack chewed out his libido and continued, "And I'm afraid, Jonathan's clothes, well." He was pretty pleased with himself. He didn't want to insult anyone here. He could do diplomatic when he had to. At least if he didn't have to do it for very long. That was Daniel's job.

"Perhaps, sir," Beecham looked assessingly at each of them. "If I may suggest, you might be able to wear something of his lordship's while," again, he seemed to mentally stumble over what to call Daniel, "your companion could try something of his lordship's gentleman's." Beecham kept calling Jonathan "his lordship's gentleman". The odd construction nagged at Jack. He preferred plain speaking whenever possible. Jack guessed the old guy had some serious issues with the whole situation. _Who doesn't?_ Language aside, he had a point about the clothes. That might just work.

"I don't suppose you could make some suggestions." Jack smiled his most charming smile. "Me, I'm just a soldier. I don't know much about this sort of thing but Daniel would kill me if I did anything to insult our host. He usually takes care of this stuff, but," he waved his hand at the sleeping man and let that complete his thought. Beecham seemed to accept that and nodded before moving silently to the closet in the dressing room off the bathroom. Jack took the opportunity to stash the zat back under the covers before following the old man. Beecham wasn't a threat, but he could be an invaluable source of information. He doubted the servant could tell him who the snake was, but he needed more general intel, too. The overt familiarity could prove fatal. He had to know where to draw the lines between here and home. Over the years, Jack had gotten almost more dirt from having a beer with the gardener or mechanic than he had from listening devices. Some of these guys loved to talk about their households.

"Sir? Would you prefer to make your own selections?" Ah, apparently a "gentleman" didn't follow a servant into the closet. Jack bit back on the obvious joke and once again thanked whoever might be listening that Carter and Teal'c weren't around this time out. Normally, he'd have preferred to have his entire team with him, but he could do without the teasing that would have resulted.

"Me? Oh, no, I trust you to find something appropriate. Your Daniel and Jonathan spoke highly of you and that's good enough for me." Jack beamed at the man whose professional face seemed to be cracking just a bit. He cranked up the charm and dove in. "So, Beecham, I guess you've been with," _Get it right, Jack!_ "Lord Cascadia for a while now, right?" Beecham nodded as he sorted through what looked like an endless amount of clothes. Jack didn't think he'd owned that many shirts in his entire _life_ let alone at one time. Then there were the pants in their own section of the closet. Suits hung farther on, then there was the floor to ceiling wall of cubby holes and racks containing sweaters, scarves, ties, gloves, shoes and god knows what else. Lots of blues, bright reds, blacks, whites and yes, the ever-present plaids. It reminded him of an agoraphobic tailor's shop or maybe his Daniel's closet on steroids. Jack couldn't stand it. "When do they find _ time_ to wear all this stuff?" Beecham actually smiled at him then.

"Sir, this is Lord Cascadia's closet. His gentleman's closet is on the other side of the dressing room." Jack held up one finger in a "be right back" gesture then turned to cross the room. He opened the door and the "closet" lit as he walked in. He knew his mouth was hanging open, but thought he had good cause. This room was even bigger than Lord Daniel's. He really couldn't bring himself to call it a closet. Jack had always been a bit of a clotheshorse. He liked his comfortable stuff that he lazed around in, but he liked to look sharp, too. Most likely a natural tendency reinforced by all the years spent in and out of dress uniform. Sara had teased him about it a time or two saying she hated to go shopping without him because he had a better eye than she did. He put up with it but had always been pleased to be able to do something nice for her. He'd never had to worry about getting her the wrong color blouse or scarf for her birthday. But _this_ was incredible. Rows and rows of shirts, pants, jackets, suits, any and everything under the sun, including what looked like a number of some sort of gown or caftan. A flash of Sara's side of their closet hit him. _Pregnant clothes._ Except these were men's clothes and in colors Jack tended to favor. Jonathan had to not only maintain a certain level of dress demanded by his position, but he had to be able to do so throughout every stage of pregnancy as well. He had easily three times the clothes in Lord Daniel's closet.

Jack closed his eyes and sagged against the doorframe. Just when he'd thought he'd gotten a grip on some piece of this weird ass situation, it just slapped him in the face again. He'd seen the man waddling along like an overfed whale, seen him lying with his newborn daughter sleeping in his arms, but no, it was seeing his damned _closet_ that really brought it home to him. In the familiar world of the SGC, it was easy enough to toss Jonathan into the convenient catchall "weird shit at work" box. Just toss him in and lock him up. Nice, neat, out of sight, out of mind. But not here. This was _Jonathan's_ turf. This was the home of a living breathing man who had given birth who knows how many times. He had a closet bigger than Jack's first apartment jammed with clothes he could wear no matter how swollen he was with pregnancy. This wasn't waking Jack's ghosts, but it was finally making him think about what _Jonathan's_ life must be like.

Jack slowly walked into the room and started noticing little details like a silver brush with the initials "JOJ" engraved on the back. A single cuff link sat next to the brush with a scribbled note "J, found this in my box, didn't see the other one, ask Beecham. Love, D". He guessed he'd never gotten around to asking Beecham. Little domestic touches that made the difference between a theoretical construct and someone's home. A picture in a silver frame of Lord Daniel and Jonathan sat behind the brush. They were both much younger and Jack wondered if it was from before the invasion. A double silver frame sat next to it. One side held the photograph of a new baby. The other side a lock of hair framed in lace. Jack sank onto the bench in front of the tiny counter. He reached out a shaking hand and picked up the double frame. He kept telling himself that this wasn't his business, that he was prying into another man's pain, but he brought the frame into the light just the same. He ran his finger over the tiny features and traced the glass over the lock of golden hair. Slight smudges on the glass told him his wasn't the first finger to follow that path. A sound drew his attention and he found Beecham watching him.

"Her name was Claire." The old man gently reached for the frame and Jack handed it to him carefully. Beecham pulled a cloth from his pocket and polished the frame, he didn't touch the glass itself. He replaced the frame on the counter and adjusted it until it was just right. "There are two frames like this in his lordship's closet."

Lord Daniel's words echoed through Jack's memory. _Two beautiful, perfect daughters._ Jack swallowed. "What was her name, Beecham?"

"Maria, sir. She was," Jack managed a weak grin at Beecham's discomfort. His verbal evasions made talking about a specific consort difficult, it seemed. Jack took pity on him and made a guess.

"Jose's daughter?" Beecham nodded gratefully.

"Yes, sir." Beecham stared hard at Jack. "This is difficult for you, too, isn't it, sir." There was no question there. Beecham knew. Jack sighed and looked back at Claire's picture.

"You have no idea." Jack looked back at Beecham. "Or maybe you do." As the words left his mouth he realized just how much he sounded like Daniel. If Daniel said "for crying out loud" any time soon, Jack might just wig out completely.

"If I may be so bold, sir, do you have any children?" Beecham looked like he knew he'd just walked out on very thin ice.

"I did. He died." Not going there. He hoped his potential source didn't want any more from him because he didn't want to shut him down, but he didn't want to go into it. "Look, I don't mean to pry, well, yes I do," Jack hurried to continue at the other man's offended frown, "but only because I want to understand." The old man grimaced, but nodded. "If it's too personal, I won't be offended if you don't answer. Just say the word and we can change the subject." Jack needed to not get on this man's bad side, but he had to ask. He wished Daniel were awake, he'd be able to do this more delicately, but Jack and Beecham seemed to have just shared a moment. Maybe he could get it out without insulting the man. "You seem to have some, difficulty referring to Jonathan and the others." Ok, Beecham didn't look too offended yet, maybe a touch embarrassed, though. "Is there some taboo or something that we should be aware of?" There, that wasn't too bad. The old man's face cleared some, he apparently wasn't offended, but still looked a touch embarrassed. Maybe this was just a problem for him. Beecham paused a moment then seemed to come to a decision.

"I came into service when Lady Claire was born. When she married, I came with her as part of her personal retinue." Whoa, Jack hadn't really thought about this stuff. He tried to picture the woman he'd seen in the few pictures Daniel had shown him over the years with a "retinue" but failed. In all but one of the pictures, she'd been dressed in work clothes and frankly looked kind of grimy and windblown from working on digs. She'd always looked happy, though. He wondered if Lady Claire Jackson had been as happy as Doctor Claire Jackson. He hoped so. "When his lordship was born, she turned most of his care over to me when she was busy on the estate or in the village." Now the old man smiled the first genuine smile Jack had seen on his face. "_Master_ Daniel was quite a handful, if I may be so bold."

"Go for it. _Doctor_ Daniel is still a handful." Jack didn't know a great deal about Daniel's childhood. He never talked about it aside from a few comments about his time in Egypt before his parents died. He'd seen his file when he first joined the SGC, but the official report told only the number of foster homes and the fact that he had no further contact with anyone from them. At the time, the lack of contact was all Jack had been concerned with, too. No one from his childhood needed to be investigated further. Since then he'd wondered from time to time, but even when Nick did his revolving door act through Daniel's life again, Daniel had remained silent on the subject. After the mission with the Keeper, neither of them had been in any mood to talk about it. The hangover had lasted a whole day, though.

"Lord Cascadia has always gone his own way." Apparently, there would be nothing further about this Daniel's childhood. "Before the plague, his lordship refused to marry." Beecham was starting to look uncomfortable.

"Please go on. I need to know this stuff." Inspiration hit. "You've heard about _my_ Daniel? What his life has been like?" Beecham nodded, what these men knew about Daniel's story had apparently gotten to him. Jack hoped it wasn't common knowledge throughout the household. Daniel hated being pitied.

"His lordship's gentlemen told me that Lord Jackson accepted him." Okay, maybe he could use this. Daniel's lover hated doing it, but the Colonel needed the intel.

"Yes, he did and I can't tell you how much _I_ appreciated that. Daniel knows Lord Jackson isn't his father, but," how could he say this?

"I understand, sir. The mind says one thing, but the heart says another." That was as good a way to look at it as any.

"Exactly. I need to be able to help him through all this, but, well, this isn't really something I'm very good at. The more I understand the more use I can be." Appealing to the old man's protective streak where Daniel was concerned seemed to be doing the trick.

"When his lordship turned down the first young lady Lord Jackson found for him, there were," Beecham was having trouble with this. Jack had run into these guys before. They'd rarely been of any use to him, though. They were fiercely loyal to the households they served. Still, he had something of an in with Beecham. "There were words between them." Jack bet there were words. In a society with a hereditary power structure marriages made alliances and produced heirs. He didn't have to be an anthropologist to know that. An heir with no apparent interest in women, which seemed to be what Beecham was hinting at, would be a nightmare. "Then, his lordship met," again the pause.

"Jonathan?" Jack must have guessed right because Beecham looked grateful and continued.

"Yes. When they met, Lord Jackson became quite angry." He looked nervous again. All his training and loyalty to his house warred with his loyalty to his late beloved mistress's only son. "They barely spoke for several years despite Lady Claire's insistence." That answered that. Beecham looked a little put out that anyone would have denied his mistress anything she wanted. Must have been quite a lady. Jack wondered if Daniel already knew any of this stuff. He somehow doubted it. Daniel had probably avoided as much personal information as he could in that initial debrief. "Then came the plague and everything changed." Jack glanced over at the rather large gown things and nodded. "Changed" was one way to put it. Beecham paused again. What was the deal with him?

"Beecham, please, for both our sakes, just say 'Jonathan'. You won't insult me and I won't tell. I promise! I'm a first name kind of guy anyway." A smaller, but no less genuine smile graced the old man's face.

"You're very like him, sir. It feels odd telling you these things. It's like you should already know." Beecham shook his head. Jack understood the feeling.

"Trust me, I know _exactly_ what you mean. I've bumped into a couple of alternate members of my team before. It's freaky." Doctor Carter was somewhere he really never wanted to go again.

"Have you ever met yourself before?" The man was human after all.

"Daniel did, I wasn't there. This is the first alternate me or Daniel I've met."

"Was he in the military like you?"

"Yep. A general actually. But then he was dead so I don't feel so bad about my career." The man actually chuckled. At this rate, Jack might have the keys to the wine cellar before dinner.

"I can see how that would provide some consolation." Beecham composed himself and continued his story. "After we buried my lady," Jack noted the change in how he referred to Lady Claire. From the look of sorrow on his face, he'd been very close to her. "His lordship and his father began to slowly rebuild their relationship. It didn't happen overnight. Too many hard words had been shared for that." Jack thought of his own father and the arguments they'd had after Charlie died. Sometimes shared grief brought people together. Sometimes it drove them apart. "His lordship had already brought," Beecham paused, took a deep breath and then took the plunge, "_Jonathan_ home to live with him." Jack smiled encouragingly. That had obviously been hard for the old man. He seemed to sink into himself remembering what must have been a terrible time. Jack had an idea.

"Here, sit down for crying out loud." Jack scooted to the end of the bench and patted the end closest to Beecham. "I'm getting a crick in my neck." The objection to sitting with 'his betters' was plain in the old servant's face. Jack raised one finger to get his attention. "Not Jonathan. I'm Jack. Just a guy talking to another guy. Sit. Take a load off. Take it easy." Something seemed to thaw in the old man and he gratefully sat. Jack winced in sympathy when his knees creaked. "Knees, huh? Mine, too." Another thought crossed his mind. "Beecham, what's your first name anyway?"

"I always know when it's going to rain." Seeming to ignore his last question, Beecham leaned a little toward Jack and whispered, "Master Daniel used to think I knew weather magic. He used to call me Chac after some god or other in New Spain." His smile from the pleasant memory faded. "When the worst of the plague had run its course, we were all devastated. We not only lost our lady, but all of us lost someone. Sisters, mothers, daughters," he swallowed and Jack could have sworn there were tears in his eyes, "wives." He looked Jack in the eye and added, "My name is Karl, sir." Jack nodded understanding that he was being given a gift of sorts. "Since my Anna died, there's been no one who called me by my first name."

"I'm honored, Karl." Jack decided he and Jonathan needed to have a little talk when this was over.

"Soon word came down from the Grand Council that they might have a way to help us have children. No one really believed them, but we were all so desperate we were willing to believe almost anything." Jack nodded. He couldn't grasp it on the scale they'd endured, but he understood desperation and the things it drove a man to. Even to believing the impossible. "Eventually, the testing began. Most of us were sterile, not that it mattered much to me. My Anna and I had never been able to have children. We doted on Lady Claire and Lord Marten," seeing Jack's surprise he explained, "Lord Marten is Lady Claire's younger brother. Their poor mother died giving birth to him. My Anna always thought that's why his lordship never had a brother or sister, Lady Claire feared the same would happen to her. His lordship's birth was hard on her, I fear." Great. Lord Daniel has an uncle, too.

"Are there any pictures of your Daniel's uncle around here?" Karl started to stand, but Jack put his hand on his arm and urged him to stay put. "I just want to let Daniel know before we go to dinner. Let him find out in private." Karl nodded.

"There are two on the wall in the bedroom. I'll show them to you." Jack thanked him and let him get on with it. They probably didn't have much time left. "When the results of the initial testing were made public, there was," he seemed to search for the right word.

"Panic?" That's pretty much how Jack thought he would have felt. Judging from Jonathan's original outburst in the briefing room, he hadn't been impressed, either.

"Panic. Rage." Karl clasped his hands in his lap. "Hope. I think the hope was the hardest to deal with. When we found out that his lordship and," he smiled his little smile at Jack, "Jonathan might be able to have children, several of the men in the household walked out and never returned." His normally benign face became hard. "We didn't need them here." Now he looked defiant. Jack suddenly realized why Lady Claire had entrusted her only son to this man. He must have been a force to be reckoned with in his younger days. "We managed just fine without them."

"I bet you did, Karl. I bet you did just fine."

"The process was, difficult to say the least. Jonathan understood what was expected of him, but the change took time." Karl started to look a little guilty again.

"I bet it did. I don't know if I have that kind of courage." Jack's support of Jonathan seemed to be what Karl needed. Jack also realized this wasn't just a way to keep the old man talking. He really didn't know if he'd have what it took to do what Jonathan had.

"You're him, sir. You would have been able to. You understand duty." Jack nodded trying to accept the man's assessment. Given the choice between killing and giving life, which was really the harder choice?

"I'll take your word for it. To be honest, I hope it's not a situation I ever have to face." Have Daniel's baby. His mind just couldn't go there. Jonathan's had _had_ to go there. Jack hadn't looked closely at any of the pictures on the wall in the bedroom. He'd been focused on Daniel. He wondered if he should look later or not.

"I hope you don't either, sir. No one should have to face what we have." A deep breath and Jack figured Karl was in the homestretch. "As soon as the procedure was proven to be successful, the laws were changed allowing men to marry." Suddenly Karl started to laugh. "Of all the things we had trouble with, figuring out what to call a man's husband turned out to be one of the hardest." He continued to chuckle and shook his head. "Many of the sterile men who were unsuitable for the change became hostile and belligerent. Terrible insults arose almost overnight. Horses are now referred to merely as 'male' and 'female'. It is always the way that the words themselves are meaningless, it's the venom with which they are hurled that cause the pain. Bearing men would be taunted with 'Mistress'. The end result is that 'Mister' is no longer used." He shrugged. The longer they sat and talked, the more the man emerged from the oh, so correct servant. All they needed was a couple of beers and a dartboard.

"What should they be called officially?" Lord Daniel had introduced Jonathan as "First Consort". Karl here seemed to have a problem with the term.

"When I was a young man, there was a word used to describe a woman who carried on with a rich married man." Jack could think of a few words himself. He could think of a few for the man in that situation, too. None of them were fit for polite company, though. "She was called his 'consort' when they were seen in public. Supposedly she was merely a friend, but everyone knew differently." Jack was beginning to understand the problem. His estimation of the other man grew, not that it had been low before, but he'd wondered about his difficulty. "Over the years, the term began to be used in a more acceptable manner to simply refer to a woman or man of lower rank in the company of a member of the nobility, but I," Karl shrugged. He seemed to understand his bias, but it didn't make it any easier. "I can't bring myself to refer to his lordship's gentlemen with _that_ word. It would feel disrespectful."

"How does your Daniel feel about it?" Karl smiled.

"His lordship began calling Jonathan," his hesitation with the name had all but disappeared, "his husband from the moment of their marriage." Karl laughed out loud. "It was something of a minor scandal among his peers." Jack smiled. That sounded like Daniel. "'Husband' was supposed to be reserved only for fertile men of the nobility. Some of the silly gits were apparently under the impression that only noblemen had remained fertile." He composed himself and shook his head. "His lordship has never had any patience for 'that sort of nonsense' as he calls it." He sighed. "He does still refer to his other gentlemen as his consorts, though. I know he has come to love them, but I think he feels he would be betraying Jonathan to accord them the honor of 'husband'."

"My Daniel can guilt himself into a migraine over the silliest things." Jack figured he had everything Karl could tell him, but he was enjoying the opportunity to talk about his lover, even if it were mostly about his lover's double. Everything Karl said about his Daniel resonated with Jack.

"Oh, my, yes, the headaches. The boy has always had trouble with them. He's always been so worried about doing the right thing while having no qualms about doing exactly what he wants." Jack nodded and sighed. So much the same. Were he and Jonathan really that much alike? He glanced around the 'closet' they sat in. He still couldn't get his mind to go there. "Sir? Doctor Caruthers told me that they were getting better, but doctors never tell you what they don't want you to know." Ah. Jack nodded.

"Karl, they're doing _great_. Caruthers is just being careful by having them stay in our infirmary for a few more days. Our Doctor Frasier is an _excellent_ doctor and she's watching them like a hawk. Good doctor but very scary. Short, too. They won't know what hit them until they're back on their feet and wondering how she did it." Karl nodded then rose stiffly to his feet. Jack figured their talk was over.

"Thank you, sir, you've relieved my mind a great deal. Now, let me lay out some clothes for you both. It wouldn't do to be late for dinner." With that the old man began rummaging through Jonathan's closet, searching for something that would fit Daniel without, no doubt, clashing with his eyes. Jack went to wake his lover and prepare him for what would surely be a difficult evening. He just hoped they'd both get through it in once piece. As he stepped into the bedroom, Jack realized he still didn't know how Karl managed to talk about one specific "gentleman" without resorting to using their name or the dreaded "consort". That was going to bug him to no end.

* * *

Daniel drifted. He knew he was asleep. A commonplace paradox. If he was aware enough to know he slept, he was actually waking up. He clung to the soft warmth of the ragged ends of sleep but it slowly drifted away. He turned onto his side and hugged the pillow to him. Maybe he'd be able to drift off again. He heard voices and wondered dimly if he'd left the television on again. Daniel was still tired and a headache was making itself known behind his eyes. Sleep sounded like a good plan. Maybe his dreams would be easier this time out. The sheets were warm and soft. He breathed in their scent, a little puzzled because it didn't smell like the fabric softener he used. They smelled like coffee and Jack's aftershave. Daniel's eyes shot open. Finally wide-awake, recent events crowded into Daniel's mind.

Daniel rolled back onto his back and raised his head to squint at the room he was in. He let his head drop back to the pillow and groaned when his headache objected. Right. Not at home. Daniel sighed. For a moment he'd hoped it had been a dream. Well, he'd hoped the bad stuff had been a dream. A faint wisp of Jack's after shave teased him and he allowed a small contented smile. That wasn't a dream. He still had trouble believing it and they still had a long talk coming. Jack had mentioned taking off for a couple of weeks and going to his cabin. _No one around for miles._ Daniel's smile grew and he felt himself getting hard. _This is not good, I can't go out there like this._ He could still hear the voices and the occasional laugh. He finally identified one as Jack's. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but Jack's tone told him his lover was relaxed. _ The lubricant of your choice._ Did Jack have any idea what that comment had done to Daniel? He really needed to find out how much experience Jack had. Daniel didn't know for certain if his lover had any clue just how much he wanted to put that lube to good use. Daniel groaned again. Coffee first and then maybe he had time for a shower. A very cold shower.

Daniel rolled over to the edge of the bed and swung his feet to the floor. He'd stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt, which he probably shouldn't have since this _was_ a mission. He took a moment and rested his aching head in his hands. The colonel should tear a strip off of him for how he'd behaved so far. He wasn't sure that Jack would. That was another thing they needed to talk about. Daniel figured this was exactly why the military had the no frat rules. He didn't want to transfer to another team or, worse, stay on the base. But there was time to deal with his private life after they got home. He had to come to grips with this new Melbourne Jackson and do it before dinner. _God, talk about taking your job home with you._ Except his home life seemed to just keep slapping him in the face at work. It's not like he _asked_ for this. Asked for or not, though, there it was and he had to get through the next couple of days without falling completely apart. It was just another mission. _Right. Tell yourself another one._

"Hey." Daniel looked up and squinted toward the bathroom, dressing room, whatever. Where were his glasses? He really should consider trying the long wear contacts again.

"Hey." Jack detoured to the table and picked something up before joining Daniel on the edge of the bed.

"Thought you might appreciate these." He unfolded Daniel's glasses and gently placed them on his face. His fingers lingered as he smoothed down the earpieces. Daniel tingled where Jack touched him and he frantically started mentally conjugating Ancient verbs in a vain attempt to distract his libido. Jack was so close, Daniel could smell his aftershave and it was so much better on Jack than second-hand on the sheets. All he had to do was lean just a little. The kiss was almost as much a surprise to Daniel as it was to Jack.

"Sorry." Daniel ran his hand through his hair and tried to ignore the taste of Jack on his tongue or the dazed look in his lover's eyes. He really wished he were wearing his pants. Boxers didn't hide much.

"We're so screwed."

"Not yet." _I can't believe I said that._ Daniel closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest. His head hurt. Maybe he could go back to sleep and start over.

"Looking forward to it, actually." He opened one eye and peered at Jack who was sporting a silly grin. Had he ever been with a man before? He certainly hadn't shown any hesitation last night.

"Not," Daniel stood up. Maybe putting a little distance between them would help.

"Not?" Jack looked worried.

"Here, Jack. We can't," he waggled his head from side to side not wanting to voice the crude words that popped into his head. Daniel wanted their first time going all the way to be special. He shook his head and went for the coffee. He felt like a teenager and he'd _ hated_ being a teenager.

"Oh. Right." Jack sounded relieved. "Not here."

"Right." Daniel poured coffee into two of the fine china cups and added honey from the small pot on the tray then some cream. There wasn't any sugar. "Mission."

"Of course. Later." Daniel took a sip and nearly choked as he started to laugh.

"God, Jack, we sound like a couple of teenagers." The coffee wasn't as good as what he was used to getting at home. It had the bitterness of poor quality beans and might be a little on the old side. An odd contrast with the wealth represented by the china and the room they were in. Daniel added a bit more honey.

"Yeah," Jack touched his back and then after a little hesitation, squeezed his shoulder before picking up his own cup. "But it's kinda nice." Daniel looked at him and smiled over his cup. Suddenly the bad coffee didn't matter so much.

"This is," Jack looked at his cup like he'd been poisoned.

"Yeah, not Starbucks. It must be hard to get the beans at all. Shipping's probably very expensive. Coffee," he offered Jack the honey, "sugar, many common fruits, probably a lot of things we take for granted are on short rations here. On the other hand, the wines are probably excellent." He blotted up a blob of honey from the tabletop and tasted it. "Most of the honey we get at home is clover honey from the south. I bet these bees feed on grape flowers for part of the year. I wonder if they make mead." Daniel vowed to keep his mind on his job and off of his dick.

"Yes, sir. His lordship's cellars have a fine collection of meads." Daniel whipped around and found Beecham coming out of the dressing area, his arms laden with clothing. As soon as Daniel saw him, he turned quickly putting his back to the servant. He was used to the communal locker rooms on base, but there was something very unnerving about standing in his underwear in front of the old man. At least he knew whom Jack had been talking to. He'd been so wrapped up in his thoughts he hadn't considered it. "I can recommend several fine brews if you'd care to sample some." Beecham carried on while Daniel tried to ignore his underdressed state.

"Um, thank you, Beecham, I, I might take you up on it, um, later." Next to him, Jack started to cough and Daniel glared at him. The reaction was instantaneous. Jack quickly looked away and Daniel smiled to himself. This could be quite useful, not that Daniel would _ever_ play such a dirty trick on his best friend, lover and personal pain in the ass. Nope, he'd never do that. His smile widened for a moment, then he drained his cup and poured another one.

"Karl," _Karl? Who's Karl?_ "found us some more appropriate clothes to wear to dinner." _Ah, Beecham_. Leave it to Jack to be on a first name basis. Daniel wondered how much information he'd gotten out of the servant. Jack could be very charming when he wanted to be. Usually when he wanted something.

"Oh, right. Thank you," Daniel wondered if he should use the man's first name, then decided not to, "Beecham." He hadn't yet been given permission. His experience with servants tended more toward the slaves they met on missions. He didn't want to push it. Another thought hit him when he realized whose clothes they must be. "Um," he had to turn around now, he couldn't keep talking to the wall, "I don't mean to be rude, but are you sure they're going to fit?"

"Colonel O'Neill and I discussed the matter and I believe these will serve." If he'd insulted the man, it didn't show.

"You'll be wearing Jonathan's," Jack held up a moss green shirt and a charcoal jacket, "and I'll get something of their Daniel's." He put down the green shirt and held up a white shirt that looked like it must be silk.

"Oh, that should probably work." A black jacket had been laid out with the white shirt and all of Daniel's work on getting his libido settled down was undone. Jack was going to look incredible in that.

"I fear the colors aren't the best for you, Doctor Jackson, but," Daniel held up one hand and shook his head.

"No, no, don't apologize, it's fine. We really should have thought about this and brought appropriate attire from home." He set down his cup and went to inspect the clothes laid out for him. He was vaguely aware of Jack and Beecham speaking quietly behind him. The clothes were obviously quite expensive but as he ran his hand over the shirt, which turned out to be silk as well, he could see the wear beginning to show. This was probably something Jonathan had been wearing for a decade. Something told him that these men could probably have had new clothes made whenever they chose, but except for necessities like maternity clothes for the bearing men, he bet they hadn't. Cloth was probably rationed. He had no idea what their manufacturing capabilities were, but he'd bet silk wasn't high on the list in this part of the world.

Daniel met Beecham's eyes and detected a hint of sorrow and a little embarrassment. The old man didn't like having to offer something that might not show his household in the best light and he'd seen Daniel inspecting the shirt. "It's beautiful, Beecham," he floundered for a moment for a way to ease the moment. "I've never been able to afford to wear silk, thank you. This will be a treat." Okay, it was a small lie. He did have a silk shirt at home, but it wasn't until after he'd descended that he'd ever indulged himself. He'd been able to afford it from the time he'd come back from Abydos, but it took years before he truly believed it. The year's worth of back pay he'd gotten had finally broken him of feeling like a penniless student. He tried not to think about the times when he _had_ been penniless after college. He still couldn't believe Jack had arranged to put his savings and investments in trust for him. He was, he supposed, comfortably well off these days.

"Very good, sir." His lie apparently had the intended effect because Beecham's subtle unease vanished . "If there's nothing else you require, I'll leave you both to bathe and dress. Please avail yourself of anything you need. His lordship would insist. If you require anything further or if the clothing doesn't suit, please call" he pointed to a button on the wall next to the bed, "and I'll return and find something more appropriate. Dinner will be served in just under an hour."

"It'll be _fine_, Karl." Jack draped his arm over the man's shoulders in what Daniel thought was an overly friendly fashion and walked with him to the door. _Damnit!_ It looked like green was going to be the right choice for him after all. Daniel shook his head, picked up his borrowed clothes and stalked to the bathroom. He knew he was being silly, but he was having trouble controlling his possessiveness. _Shower_, he ran his hand over his chin, _shave, dress and avoid Jack at all costs_. They didn't have the time for anything else.

Finally, Daniel stood in front of the mirror adjusting his tie. His headache was just about gone, courtesy of the Tylenol in his pack. He and Jack had managed to get ready with a minimum of interruption. It was a good thing the bathroom had two showers or else they'd never have gotten dressed. The shirt and jacket were a little roomy in places, having been tailored for Jonathan, but not too bad. They fit across his shoulders and chest, with the shirt bunching a little at his waist. The jacket hid the slightly too long sleeves and if it came down to it, he'd undo the cuffs and roll them up a little when dinner was over. Ah, no he wouldn't. He'd have a zat hidden under his jacket, so the sleeves would have to do as is. His counterpart's pants fit reasonably well, though he suspected they weren't supposed to fit so tightly over his thighs. He tended to favor loose slacks so maybe this Daniel did, too. Beecham had laid out a pair of briefs for him, so at least he didn't have to worry about the legs of his boxers cutting into him when he sat. The shoes felt perfect. He'd avoided looking at Jack as much as possible.

The white shirt, black jacket and pants might look ordinary on most men, but the combination did things for his lover that took Daniel's thoughts places they had no right to be on a mission. That had become his mantra over the past hour. This was a mission. A mission. The quiet domesticity of preparing for dinner was deceptively normal. They weren't at home and nothing could happen. He wondered if maybe he should sleep on the sofa in the main room tonight.

"Jacket's a bit big," Jack's face appeared over his shoulder in the mirror, "but overall, you look very nice this evening, Danny." Arms wrapped around his waist and Jack rested his chin on Daniel's shoulder. He liked this position, liked the feeling of Jack's body against his. His lover was just the right height to make it relatively easy for him, too. "You're quiet. Not looking forward to dinner, are you." Daniel blinked at Jack's reflection for a moment. Oh. Right. He'd been so focused on not getting hard and naked with Jack that he'd managed to forget. _Avoidance technique number three. Too bad it doesn't work on my dick._

"Um." Tell him the truth or give him a comfortable lie. No, if they were going to do this, going to be together, it had to be the truth. "Actually, I'd forgotten all about, about that. Him." Daniel chewed his lower lip and watched Jack's face. He was in deep shit when they got back to the base. "I, uh, I've actually been concentrating on, well," he sighed in defeat and muttered, "on you, you bastard."

"What was that, Daniel? I didn't quite catch that." Cat, meet canary. Jack looked like he should have feathers hanging out of his mouth.

"I _said_ I've been concentrating on not ripping your clothes off and dragging you back to bed, you bastard." Preening. Jack was preening.

"You were jealous earlier, weren't you." Could the man get any more smug? Right. Daniel turned around and grabbed him by the lapels and pulled him into a hard, demanding kiss. Jack's arms went around him and he gave as good as he got. They shouldn't be doing this. They couldn't be doing this. If Daniel wasn't careful, he was going to lose it and as good as it would feel right now to show Jack just how much he belonged to Daniel they'd both regret it. Not the time, not the place. He pulled away, panting.

"God, yes, I was and, and it's stupid, I _know_!" This was a mess. Why did they have to find each other in the middle of all this?

"Hey, it's okay, really." Jack clasped the back of his neck in the same way he'd done hundreds of times throughout their friendship. His hand on Daniel's cheek was more rare but no less familiar. "It's kinda nice." He looked thoughtful, "I really like it when you get all grabby and possessive," the hand left his cheek and Daniel missed it immediately, "but I'm not sure Ferretti would understand you taking him outside and beating the shit out of him every time I slap him on the back." The image made Daniel laugh and he looked down in embarrassment. He released Jack's lapels and gently smoothed out the wrinkles.

"I think I wrinkled you." He cocked his head, and looked into Jack's face.

"Mussed. The term you're looking for is 'mussed'."

"Ah. Silly me. I think I mussed you."

"Think nothing of it. You can muss me any time." Daniel straightened and ran a hand over the side of Jack's head.

"I'm sorry, love, I'm not handling this very well." He wanted to kiss him again, but resisted the urge. They had to go out there in a few minutes.

"Daniel, I'd be surprised as hell if you were." That startled Daniel. "_No_ one with a beating heart would be able to handle this well. Over all, I think you're doing just fine." Daniel shook his head and started to deny it. "Don't. Don't run yourself down. I hate it when you do that. You're one of the strongest men I've ever known." Daniel's mouth was hanging open in surprise. Jack just didn't say this stuff. "You've been through so much crap in your life and you're still, still _you_!" Daniel blinked. He didn't know what to say to that. Hearing Jack say he loved him was surprising enough, but this was even more somehow.

"I don't know what to say, that's, that's the most incredible thing anyone's ever said to me."

"You're welcome." Okay, maybe a thank you might have been in order, but Jack heard it anyway. "Now, before we get wound up again, there's something I need to tell you before we," he nodded his head at the door, "go." He put his arm around Daniel's waist and led him to the wall of pictures. Daniel steeled himself and faced the wall.

He knew many of the faces. Daniel and his husbands. _His_ parents, not Daniel's parents. He held that thought firmly. The children, obviously, weren't known. Though the picture of the oldest could have been a picture of Daniel at that age. If it hadn't been grouped with the other children, he might have missed it being Lord Daniel's and Jonathan's son. Two side by side must be the twins that were mentioned earlier. Daniel's and Jose's sons. The other boys could have been any of the bearing men's sons, but they all had the same chin, the same nose and a likeness around the eyes. They all looked like Daniel. Some of the other adults' pictures looked familiar, but he didn't know them. He guessed they were relatives, but none that he'd known in his life. The pang of loss hit him unexpectedly. He shouldn't feel it about people who may have never even existed in his universe. Jack pointed to a man Daniel didn't think he'd ever met, but the resemblance was too strong to deny.

"That," Jack tapped the frame lightly, "is Lord Jackson's brother-in-law, Marten Ballard." His lover didn't say anything else but Daniel appreciated being pulled a little closer and really appreciated the light kiss on his cheek. "I didn't want you going out there tonight without seeing this, first." Daniel nodded, unwilling to speak for the moment. "He lives with the old man and Nick." Daniel took a deep breath, he'd been doing a lot of that. He nodded.

"Thanks, Jack. It's good to know this stuff up front, I think." Jack led him away from the pictures to the table. He gestured for Daniel to sit and Jack hiked one hip up onto the table.

"I did some thinking earlier and I think I know what's going on here. I want your take on my conclusions. I also learned a few things from Beecham, so why don't I give you the rundown before we face the locals." Daniel smiled. Jack got it. Keep treating it like a mission and maybe he could get through this with his sanity intact. He sat and listened and tried as hard as possible to remember that these were the other Daniel's family. He had Jack and Sam and Teal'c and Janet and Cassie and all the others. Daniel returned to the most important point. He had Jack. That was enough.

Dinner had been excellent. Daniel noted that almost all of it had been made from locally available ingredients. He and, with a little prompting, Jack had made appropriately impressed noises over the dessert, which consisted of lightly fried bananas and caramel sauce topped with ice cream. Apparently, Jose's family sent them boxes of fruit from time to time. With their short shelf life, bananas must be fairly rare in _this_ Pacific Northwest. They both drank wine sparingly. Daniel had considered begging off completely, but feared it would be insulting. He'd been right earlier, though, the wines were incredible.

Throughout the meal conversation had been kept to discussions of the adjustments the society had made in the wake of the invasion and plague. The estate's vineyards that had been little more than a point of pride before, never bringing in much income, were now a source of wealth. Daniel surprised himself by thoroughly enjoying Lord Jackson's descriptions of farming in the region. He'd told them about the various small industries starting up to supply the population with locally made goods where possible. The university in Portland, Cascadia's capitol, had just reopened its medical school, a new agricultural college and, oddly a college of architecture. It seemed that while Lord Jackson had taken a fairly traditional path for men in his class, politics, finance, apparently his passion was architecture. Daniel found himself laughing at his stories and the man across the table slowly began to separate from the man Daniel knew from his childhood. He couldn't imagine _his_ father getting that excited about any building that wasn't at least five thousand years old and in ruins.

"Thank you, sir." Daniel accepted the snifter of brandy from his host and settled back into his chair by the fire. The zat tucked into the back of his belt poked him a little, but he'd gotten used to carrying weapons and dismissed the minor discomfort. Lord Jackson sat in the chair next to him with his own glass and Jack sat across from them pretending he wasn't dozing off. They sipped in comfortable silence for a time. Ian and Jose had excused themselves right after dessert. Marten was bringing the children home in a few days and they were resting up. Devon had already started them on the regime he and Janet had designed to rid their bodies of the extra chemicals found in the bearing men's supplements. Rest was what they both needed right now.

The additives to their supplements were even more of a mystery than the others. The children's supplements were fairly straightforward, if the goal was to continue 'culling' the population. The fertile men were being kept off balance and focused wholly on breeding. It was only Lord Daniel's insistence on not taking them all the time that had allowed him to maintain a measure of control. It had been Jack who'd pointed out that in a society like this, especially after Beecham's revelations, a fertile man would be in an excellent position to gather a rather large powerbase. That made sense, if Jack's analysis was correct and Daniel thought it sounded just about right. The effects on the bearing men were apparently much more subtle. Daniel hoped they'd be able to find out one day, it was going to bug him until he knew.

"You're very quiet this evening, Daniel." He started at Lord Jackson's voice.

"Sorry," He been caught woolgathering. He knew he sometimes spent way too much time inside his own head for some people, but it was comfortable for him. "I was just wondering about the tainted supplements for the bearing men and what they did." He knew Devon had briefed the older man, but such things apparently weren't considered polite dinner conversation.

"I guess we'll find out soon enough." Lord Jackson put his snifter down and leaned forward in his chair, twisting a little toward Daniel. "I don't know if I can ever thank you and your people enough for what you've done, not only for my family, but for all of us." His hands clasped together and Daniel's stomach lurched. He was making headway in keeping this man at arm's length emotionally, but every once in a while a familiar turn of phrase or gesture would bring it all back again. Lord Jackson reached out and grasped Daniel's free hand, staring into his eyes. "You saved my son and for that I owe you more than I can ever repay." There was raw pain in the old man's eyes and for once he looked older than his years.

"You don't owe me anything, sir," he had to figure out what to call this man, "I, we, didn't do anything anyone else wouldn't have." Daniel didn't know how to get out of this. Awkward didn't begin to describe how he felt. He knew what he _wanted_ to do, but while the hug might do the other man some good, it would take Daniel one more step down a path he couldn't afford to follow.

"Say thank you, Daniel." Jack's dry voice broke the silence. Lord Jackson laughed and Daniel alternated between a shy smile for his host and a glare directed at Jack.

"Thank you, sir." The old man squeezed his hand and then released him. He took a moment to rub his eyes then reached for both their snifters.

"Let me top off our drinks." He rose and waved Beecham away. Daniel figured he needed a moment to collect himself. "Colonel, since you're obviously not asleep, would you care for a brandy?" The tease in his voice was unmistakable.

"Maybe a small one. After that wonderful dinner, I'm afraid too much would just put me right to sleep." Now Daniel felt guilty. He knew his desire to get used to being around Lord Jackson was the only reason they hadn't called it a night yet. The hours Daniel had slept earlier hadn't made up for the short nights or the emotional upheaval, but this opportunity was too good to pass up. He was lightly buzzed from the wine at dinner and the brandy was sitting warmly in his stomach. A little liquid fortification was making the situation a great deal easier to handle than it would have otherwise.

"Jack, if you're tired, you could go on and go to bed. We probably won't be talking too much longer." Fortification aside, Daniel half hoped Jack would refuse. Even just sitting in his line of sight, Jack brought much needed comfort.

"Nah, I'm way too comfortable here to even _consider_ moving." Jack opened his eyes and winked at Daniel before settling back into his pseudo-nap. _I got it, Jack._ Daniel smiled at his lover. Jack wasn't going to leave him to do this alone, but he was going to give him the space to do it. Daniel could feel himself falling in love with the man all over again.

"Beecham, why don't you finish what you're doing tomorrow. You've been on your feet since I got here and knowing you, probably since dawn. Go to bed." Lord Jackson returned with their drinks and after handing Daniel's his, he remained standing, staring down the old servant. Beecham looked like he wanted to find a way to argue, without arguing, of course, but finally seemed to give in.

"Very good sir, thank you." He approached Daniel on his way out of the room. "Doctor Jackson, if you or Colonel O'Neill require anything in the night, just ring and," he glanced at Lord Jackson, "Parker will see to your needs. Good night, my lord, gentlemen." Protocol satisfied, he left, closing the door silently behind him.

"The old fool is going to work himself into the grave and then Nick will strangle whoever he deems responsible." He sat in his chair and took a drink. "Knowing him, he'll blame me and then Daniel will hate me because he'll have to take over my duties when he'd much rather just keep doing what he's doing now." Lord Jackson smiled at the thought of his son and Daniel wondered if this is what it would have been like had his parents lived. Would they have worried about him like this? Maybe it was just as well they weren't around. His current life would have put them through hell.

"Drink up, boys." He leaned closer to Daniel, "I think your _friend_ is subtly telling us it's time for bed." He looked between Daniel and Jack. Running his hand through his white hair, he seemed to be loosing an argument with himself. "I know this is none of my business, but trust me when I say I have a reason for asking." Daniel knew what was coming. He glanced at Jack out of the corner of his eye and saw he was watching them. An almost imperceptible shrug gave Daniel his permission to answer or not as he chose.

"Then ask. I can't guarantee I'll be able to answer it, but I won't think less of you for asking." Daniel hoped he managed to sound unconcerned. He really wasn't sure where this might lead.

"Jose told me that you two were friends. Good friends, but _just_ friends." He caught Daniel's eye before continuing, "I've gotten the impression all evening that there's more to your relationship than that." Daniel knew this trick. His own father had used it mercilessly when he suspected Daniel had gotten into something he wasn't supposed to. Some of his foster parents had been good at it, too. Make a few pointed statements and then let the kid hang himself out of guilt. He smiled. It had taken him years to come up with a defense for that one.

"I was just thinking of all the things I've confessed to over the years whenever someone used that tactic on me." Lord Jackson returned his smile. Daniel leaned a little closer and lowered his voice, no need for Jack to hear this. "Half the time I'd confess to things they never suspected me of in the first place."

"My wife, my Claire, was especially good at it. Between the two of us our son never had a chance." Lord Jackson drained his snifter and sighed. "I still miss her."

"My sorrow for your loss, sir." The old man nodded, accepting his condolences. "I miss my wife, too. My Shaur'e. She was so beautiful, so strong." Daniel drained his own snifter, it seemed appropriate. A private toast to his lost love.

"My sorrow for yours, Daniel." Daniel nodded. "My Claire was beautiful as well. And strong."

"I know." Daniel figured all sons thought their mothers were beautiful, but that didn't make it any less true. He'd had people tell him enough times over the years to let him know it was more than just a son seeing through the eyes of love. He sighed and looked up at Jack who was watching him. Daniel smiled. He wasn't alone anymore. He hadn't thought he'd ever find anyone he could love as much as his beautiful, passionate wife, but there he was. The most unlikely lover he could think of and yet the best match he could have made. "As to your non-question, sir," Lord Jackson looked a little abashed at having been caught in parental manipulation. "When I told Jose and Ian about our relationship it was the truth," he cocked his head a little, "at the time." Jack's head was propped up on his fist, elbow on the arm of his chair a sexy smile on his face toying with his empty glass. He looked edible at that moment. "But things changed very recently." He looked back at Lord Jackson not caring that he sat there hard as nails in front of this man. Jack was his and at that moment, he didn't really care who knew it. "I think we have your son and Jonathan to thank, actually. Had we not seen them together, I'm not sure we'd have ever gotten a clue." He smiled at Lord Daniel's father, but his thoughts kept drifting back to the taste of Jack's skin.

"I'm glad." The old man looked oddly relieved. "I'm an old-fashioned man, Daniel. When my son told me who he'd fallen in love with, I was angry and hurt." His confession seemed to be difficult for him, but Daniel let him continue. He'd seen enough now to know that things had changed for him. "It was Claire who reminded me that Daniel was still our son, still the same young man he'd always been. She also pointed out that I wasn't disgusted or repulsed, just disappointed." Daniel knew he was glowering at his host. "For some reason, knowing you two are together makes it seem, inevitable. The irony of it all is that the biggest problem was the thought of not having grandchildren." He shook his head and chuckled. "I'm not saying this very well." When it was obvious Daniel wasn't going to speak, Jack did.

"I think you're saying it just fine, Lord Jackson." Daniel couldn't help but wonder if this would have been his own father's reaction. "Don't get me wrong. Jonathan is a wonderful man and he's so very good for Daniel." He glanced at Jack and then back to Daniel. "Jonathan brings my son out of himself. He spends too much time with his books and his studies," he raised a hand to silence Daniel before he'd done more than open his mouth in protest. "I don't really have a problem with my son's passions, I just wanted him to spend some time in _this_ century." He smiled. "I bet your Jack does the same for you." Daniel hung his head. Bingo.

"You have no idea, Lord Jackson. It's like pulling teeth to get him out of his office and away from those dusty rocks of his."

"Artifacts, Jack." His correction was automatic. Jack was just getting warmed up. He sat up a little straighter and Daniel enjoyed watching the way his body moved under the white silk. He knew how he'd like to warm Jack up.

"When all this is over, I'm dragging him to my cabin for two weeks of wonderful fishing in the wilds of Minnesota. Just us, the loons and the elusive crappy." Lord Jackson looked surprised.

"You fish, Daniel?"

"Uh, no, actually, I don't. I plan on taking books." Daniel decided to try something so he scowled at Jack. "Lots and lots of books." Yes, he had Jack's full attention now, which was how it should be. Maybe if he faked a yawn, the old man would take the hint and leave. Daniel didn't feel at all tired any more, but he did want to feel Jack.

"Don't let him, do it, Colonel. Make him fish. It'll be good for him."

"Did you ever get your son to fish? I may need pointers." Will they never stop? Daniel was getting restless.

"No. No, never could get him interested." Daniel yawned and wonder of wonders, their host got the message. "I should go. I'm keeping you both from your bed." He stood and they both joined him, walking him to the door. Daniel kept himself between Jack and Lord Daniel. To hell with it, Jack liked him grabby and possessive. He'd show him just how grabby and possessive he could be as soon as they were alone. Daniel was done with waiting. Lord Jackson paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Thank you, again. For everything."

He suddenly turned and engulfed Daniel in a bear hug. Daniel hugged him back and for a moment it was as if time rolled back and this was _his_ father. He couldn't help noticing that for a man of his age, he was in remarkably good shape. It made the illusion all the stronger. Then Lord Jackson released him, and the moment passed. He patted Daniel on the shoulder and then stepped to Jack and hugged him as well. Daniel's jealousy flared. _No one_ touched his Jack. He caught himself before he physically separated the two men. He was overreacting, but he could barely control it. With a slight wave and a nod, Lord Jackson strode through the door, closing it behind him.

Before Jack could say a word, Daniel grabbed him by the shoulders and jerked him into his arms. He dove into his lover's mouth and crushed his body to him. He'd never been harder in his life, never felt such a need to possess someone before. Jack was his and he was going to prove it to him. Jack sank into the kiss with the same passion as before. Daniel's hands stroked everywhere he could reach. He growled as he squeezed Jack's firm ass and nearly came on the spot. He only broke the kiss when he had to breathe. "Bed. Now." Jack's eyes were black with arousal, his lips swollen from Daniel's harsh kiss. Marked. Daniel hadn't thought he could get any harder. The thought of marking Jack, showing the world he belonged to Daniel nearly drove him into a frenzy. Jack started to speak, but Daniel dove into his mouth again, effectively shutting down any protest his lover might have made.

Daniel walked Jack backward toward the bedroom, ruthlessly stripping him as they went. He ripped the zat out of Jack's belt and tossed it somewhere onto the floor. Daniel managed to retain enough presence of mind to try and not rip the borrowed clothes, until he got to the buttons on the shirt. He got them through the bedroom door and closed it, then returned to his task. _To hell with the fucking shirt._ He grabbed the shirt in both hands and ripping it open, he pulled it down so it trapped Jack's arms behind him. "Mine! You're mine, Jack, _no one_ else gets to have you. I'll _kill_ the next person who so much as _touches_ you!" A small voice in the back of Daniel's mind asked him what the hell he thought he was doing. This was wrong. He should be gentle and loving, not all but attacking him. Daniel shut it down and locked it away. Jack was his and he'd do what he pleased.

"Daniel," Jack panted, obviously enjoying what Daniel was doing to him. "We should wait." The last word was moaned more than spoken as Daniel bit his shoulder and rubbed himself against his lover's hard body. If it weren't for the material between them, he thought they both might have come right then.

"Fuck waiting, Jack!" Daniel's hands were busy at Jack's waist, fumbling in his haste to get Jack out of his pants. "I feel like I've been waiting for this for years. I'm not waiting any more!" Success. He shoved Jack's pants down and held him, kissing and nipping at his face and neck while Jack stepped out of the clothes pooled around his ankles.

"Daniel, love, wait a moment. Shirt." Jack panted and Daniel reached around him and freed his arms by the expedient method of ripping the shirt off. The cuffs remained along with parts of the sleeves. Jack's arms came up around Daniel and held onto him as if he were the only thing keeping him upright. Daniel reciprocated, holding his lover tightly, supporting him. "I need you to slow down, I've never," he rested his forehead against Daniel's, "I've never done this before." Daniel ran his hands over all the bare flesh he could reach. God, this was incredible. He'd wondered how much experience Jack had had, but hadn't really thought that he might be a virgin. It was a gift. He could do this. He could do this for his Jack.

"Oh, love, I'll be careful. I'll make it so good for you, baby." He restrained his need, banking the raging fire for the moment. He had to do this right because otherwise he might hurt him. Nothing would make him hurt his Jack. "Lay down, baby," his lust drenched mind screamed to just take what was his, but managed to keep his voice gentle and controlled, "I need to find something we can use." His lover smiled that sexy smile at him. He looked a little nervous, but trusting. Daniel would die before he betrayed that trust. He rummaged through the top drawer of the nightstand. There it was, a bottle of something that turned out to be exactly what he was looking for. He thought about telling Jack to pick it up and prepare himself for him, but decided that would have to wait for another time. Daniel closed his eyes at the image of Jack readying himself for Daniel. That was hot, the very idea was such a rush. He opened his eyes and saw his Jack stretched out on the bed, waiting for him. The remains of his shirt still clinging to his arms.

Slowly, Daniel started stripping off his own clothes. Jack's eyes were black with lust and his cock was already dripping. Daniel tossed his jacket and shirt onto the floor, followed by the zat. Jack's cock jerked with need and he reached for it. "No, don't touch yourself! That's mine, baby." He stripped faster and when he was done, he took a moment to remove Jack's socks, running his fingers over his lover's feet before slowly crawling onto the bed and up his Jack's body. He stopped to kiss and lick those strong, scarred legs, gently nudging them apart, shaking with his own barely restrained need. He kneeled between the lean, muscled thighs and stroked them, murmuring nonsense words of reassurance to his virgin lover. Bypassing Jack's jutting cock completely, Daniel stroked and licked and bit his way up his lover's writhing body, his own dripping cock leaving a trail to mark his passage. Daniel chuckled at how responsive Jack was. So good, so strong, so beautifully male. So his.

"God, Daniel, please." Daniel chuckled at Jack's pleas. He knew his lover would like this. Now that he had Jack splayed out underneath him, he found it much easier to control himself. But not for much longer.

"Soon, baby, soon." Daniel's teeth closed over one nipple for a gentle nip. Jack yelled and his cock bounced against Daniel. He released the now tender nub and blew on it, before running his tongue around the areole, leaving the hard nub in the center untouched. Moaning told him how good this was for his love. He shifted over and gave the same loving attention to the other side. More moans and gasps greeted his efforts. Jack's hands dug into Daniel's hair, tugging it a little. It drove Daniel wild. He lunged up to Jack's face and pressed him into the mattress with a searing kiss grinding his cock into Jack's. Jack thrust his hips upward and Daniel pulled back. "No, baby, not yet. I want you to come when I'm inside you." Jack closed his eyes and obeyed.

"Please, Danny, I need to come." Daniel groaned low in his throat. This was such an incredible turn on. His lover was so responsive, so pliant. Jack made him feel powerful and alive like he'd never felt before, he wanted to feel like this all the time. He wished he still had their ties handy, the slats on the headboard were all but taunting him.

Daniel groped for the lube he'd tossed onto the bed, not wanting to look away from his lover's gorgeous face. He finally found it and after one more breath stealing kiss, he slid to the bed at his lover's side, put his lips to Jack's ear and growled, "Roll onto your side, baby, I need to get you ready for me." Jack obeyed with a shudder and Daniel took a moment to feast on his shoulders and neck. He couldn't wait much longer, his skin was on fire, his balls ached, he'd never felt like this before with _anyone_. Daniel poured oil into his hand and slicked it over his fingers. He pushed Jack's leg out of the way and began easing one finger into him. His lover tightened at the intrusion and Daniel felt close to rage at the implied denial. "Relax!" His soft tone was gone. Somehow he thought he should be asking, not ordering, but dismissed the thought impatiently. The pressure around his fingertip eased and he pushed inside. "Good, that's good, Jack." His lover's capitulation calmed his anger, but it was simmering just below the surface. Jack would learn. "So tight, so hot, I can't wait to be inside you, baby." He thrust his finger a few times and as his lover's opening relaxed more, he added oil to his fingers and pushed in with two. He fucked Jack with his fingers, getting as much of the oil inside him as he could. He moved his fingers around until Jack shuddered and moaned with pleasure when he rubbed against his prostate. Daniel's smile was feral. He couldn't wait any more, didn't have to. His body demanded release. "Get up on your knees, baby."

"Daniel, I don't think," Daniel grabbed his hair and jerked his head back viciously.

"_Don't_ think, Jack! Just do as you're _told_!" He should have gone for their ties. If Jack wanted to be difficult, Daniel would have to teach him otherwise. "God, you're so beautiful, I need you _now_!" Daniel bit down on the tantalizing neck, sucking hard for a moment, marking his lover intentionally. He admired his work then released Jack's hair and slapped his ass to get him moving. Jack's obedience calmed him some, his lover was new at this, in time he'd understand.

Daniel oiled up his aching cock, squeezing the base a little to delay his orgasm, then kneeled between Jack's legs. He was pleased that he hadn't had to tell him to spread for him. His love was much smarter than anyone else gave him credit for. A tiny voice of reason told him there was something wrong about what was happening, that it shouldn't be like this, but then a haze of lust settled over him and reason was lost. Daniel positioned himself and in a single thrust buried himself in his lover's body, his triumphant roar drowning out Jack's cry of pleasure. He thrust into the pliant body in front of him, pounding him, owning him. Daniel grabbed Jack's shoulders, growling in frustration when his oily hand slid off. He angrily wiped it on the sheet as best he could then finally gave up and wrapped that arm around his lover's body. It didn't matter, he wasn't going to last. He changed the angle of his thrusts finally locating the right spot. He hit it again and again until Jack arched, threw his head back and howled his release. Daniel felt his orgasm as his lover's muscles squeezed his cock and he emptied all his need and desire into Jack's trembling body. Daniel held them both up for a moment then gently eased his lover down to the bed. Jack collapsed, still gasping from his orgasm. Daniel tried to keep his cock buried in his ass, but the motion caused him to pull out. There was something red on the sheets, but Daniel was too caught up in his lover to pay it much attention. He lay down on Jack's back, licking and kissing the sweat from his back, rubbing his face across his shoulders.

"God, Daniel," Jack twisted his head as if trying to see Daniel's face. "That was incredible. God, I love you." He gave up trying to see and his head plopped down to the pillow.

"You were incredible, love. Gonna be even better next time." Daniel moved them both so they lay on their sides with Jack wrapped up in his arms. His lust sated for the moment, Daniel indulged in gentle kisses over Jack's face and shoulders. He took a moment to help Jack out of the pieces of his shirtsleeves then let his hands roam the beloved body in his arms and felt himself growing hard again. "Look what you do to me, baby." He put Jack's hand on his half hard cock and rolled his lover to his back.

"Damn, Daniel, that's impressive." Leaning up on his arm, he devoured Jack's lips while his lover's hand gently stroked him fully erect. Daniel pulled back for a moment, staring into Jack's eyes.

"Gonna make love to you all night long, baby. Gonna make you so happy you'll never want anyone else. Gonna make sure you _never_ forget you're mine." He leaned in and claimed his love's mouth while he groped again for the oil; he had to have him again. Jack would stay with him, Daniel would make sure. _His_ lover. _His_ Jack. He'd kill anyone who tried to come between them.

* * *

Jack awoke instantly at the sound of his name. He grasped the hand covering his mouth and saw Ian leaning over him, a finger pressed to his lips. Jack blinked trying to figure out what was going on. He felt foggy and hung over and only the screaming pain in his ass let him know that he hadn't been dreaming last night. Jack ached like he'd gone ten rounds with a pain stick. He shouldn't even have been _able_ to do some of the things he thought he'd managed the night before, let alone enjoyed them. Daniel had been on fire and Jack had wanted nothing more but to be consumed in the conflagration. He liked aggressive lovers, but that had been beyond anything he'd ever dreamed. In the cold light of day, he was ashamed at his own behavior. He'd never been so _passive_ in bed before. He didn't like how it made him feel. Jack decided he was just going to have to get over that. No _way_ was he giving up Daniel. He'd come _four_ times during the night. At his age, he hadn't thought that even _possible_. What they did in their bed was nobody else's business. Maybe if he kept telling himself that he'd be able to look at himself in the mirror.

Ian beckoned for him to get up and released his hold on Jack's mouth. Jack gently moved out from underneath Daniel who'd been sprawled on him. From the look on Ian's face, he wanted to talk without Daniel hearing, so Jack was careful not to wake his lover. He was drowning in his confusion. Maybe talking to the other man would give him some space to figure out what the hell was happening to him and why he wanted nothing more but to crawl back into bed with Daniel and beg him to do it all over again.

Jack sat gingerly on the side of the bed and looked back at his sleeping lover. Daniel had rolled to his stomach, the sheet just barely covering his ass. Jack noticed scratches on his back and a scattering of fingerprint sized bruises. He wasn't sure he wanted to see himself in the mirror. No, he knew he didn't want to. There was blood on the sheets and Jack realized it was probably his. He closed his eyes and tried to clear the fog from his mind. His career was so over. He'd already made his decision to leave the Air Force if that's what it took to be with Daniel, but he'd wanted it to be _his_ choice. Not having to run to avoid prison. Hammond would let him retire, Jack was sure of that. Jack was _almost_ sure of that.

He thought back to their first night together. It had been so different. Jack scrubbed his face roughly as if he could scrub away the fog in his mind. Their passion had been tender and gentle. Daniel had treated him carefully as if he'd feared Jack would shatter. His acceptance of that had surprised him, at first, until he realized he didn't have anything to prove to his friend, his lover. Daniel knew him inside and out. He'd been at his side through all the crap the universe had thrown at them for years. They'd been to hell and back, literally. After all the "pain, torture, death", the 'us' part _was_ easy. What happened last night was different. It hadn't felt wrong at the time. Jack had welcomed every single touch, no matter how rough. He'd damn near come the first time Daniel bit him hard enough to draw blood. He'd _wanted_ to be marked. It was one thing he remembered with startling clarity. Jack shivered. He closed his eyes feeling his face flush. He was sitting naked on a bed in front of a virtual stranger and he was getting hard under the corner of the sheet he'd pulled over his groin.

Jack looked up to see Jose standing at the foot of the bed, watching the three of them with a zat in his hands. Jack's worry over his career and his shame at what was arguably the best sex he'd ever had in his life vanished. He cursed himself for letting his guard down. They'd done this to them, drugged them somehow. Had to have been something like that. He'd been lulled into believing he could trust these men because of their relationship with his and Daniel's counterparts. He'd been a fool. Maybe it was just as well this was his last mission. Whatever had made him a good leader in the past was obviously gone. He stifled the thought that maybe this was why gays weren't allowed to serve. That was ridiculous, his mind was still muddled by whatever they'd done to him and to Daniel. He was the same man he'd always been. He'd had these desires before; he just hadn't acted on them since his scare at the academy. Fear was a strong motivator, but his father had taught him well. It was a poor foundation to build a life on.

Jack sized up his opponents. He could take Ian, easily. The man was smaller than any of them, but he was young and seemed strong. Jack doubted he'd ever been trained to fight, though. Jose was a different story. Almost as tall as Jack, he was heavier and not just with the added fat all the bearing men seemed to carry. He held himself like a soldier, indicating at least some training and probably some skill at hand to hand. He'd also kept himself out of reach, which implied experience. From what little Jack knew of his life over the past decade, he figured he was a little out of practice, but he couldn't discount Jose completely. He was the dangerous one. At the moment he had a zat pointed at Daniel and Jack figured he had the will to use it. Jack couldn't remember what had happened to their weapons last night. Things had started to get hazy after dinner. Some things stood out clearly, but the whereabouts of their weapons wasn't one of them. He'd always chewed Daniel out in the early days when he'd wander off from camp without his weapon and here he was in 'camp' without his.

"It's not what you think, Jack." Ian kept his voice low but there was a sense of urgency in it that didn't jibe with their apparent control of the situation.

"Not convincing me here." Jack jabbed two fingers at Jose. Ian had kept his voice quiet, but Jack didn't. He wanted to wake Daniel as fast as he could. He needed the backup. _ Daniel will protect me._ The thought shocked Jack. He relied on Daniel to watch his six in the field, but they all relied on each other for that. This was different. It was wrong. He reached a hand out to touch his lover. The need to touch him, be held by him, be _ protected_ by him was overwhelming.

"Don't touch him!" Jose shifted his zat to point at Jack.

"Why the hell not?" Jack raised his voice a little louder. He couldn't figure out how Daniel was still sleeping through this. He was known to crash and crash hard, but never when he was on duty. If anything, it was hard to _get_ him to slow down enough to sleep at all when he was working. _Sure worked me over last night._

"Shhh, don't wake him. Jose's here as a precaution, but I need to talk to you _now_." Ian urged him to his feet and handed him a robe. Jack jerked the robe on, wincing as sore muscles protested. The soft robe rubbed his torn and abraded skin. Just what the hell had Daniel done to him last night. Pain aside, he was glad for the robe. Pants would be better, but at least he wasn't naked. It was hard to be intimidating naked. And now he was standing. It wasn't impossible to take someone out sitting naked on a bed, but clothed and standing was better. He just wished he didn't feel so out of it.

"You need a _zat_ to talk? What the hell is going on?"

"Unless you can tell me that this," Ian gestured to the bruises and bites not covered by the robe, "is normal. We're all in a great deal of danger at the moment." Daniel moaned and murmured in his sleep and they all turned to look at him.

"For crying out loud, you think we're in danger from _Daniel_?" Jack couldn't believe these two. So far as he'd been able to see, their Daniel and his Daniel were almost identical. Yes, they'd had different experiences, but at the core, they were the same man. The same good, thoughtful, gentle man who'd held him down and fucked him to within an inch of his life last night. Ian grabbed Jack's hand and held it out, pointing to the bruises around his wrist.

"He held you down, didn't he." Ian's forceful whisper cut through the silence. "He was selfish and demanding and brutal and you _wanted_ it, didn't you." Jack felt his face flush with shame yet again. What the hell was wrong with him? "Jack, don't. It's not what you think. C'mon."

"No! I'm not leaving _him_," he jabbed at Jose again, "alone with Daniel, especially when Daniel's not awake to protect himself." Jack was beginning to think it would take an earthquake to wake his teammate. "As for what I _think_ I'm thinkin' you drugged us with something last night." He shifted his eyes back and forth between the two of them, but kept close enough to Ian to grab him. Jose had moved when Ian did, keeping him out of the zat's range. If he grabbed Ian, he might have some leverage with Jose.

"It wasn't us!" Ian's denial sounded sincere, but the zat made it difficult for Jack to believe him. "It would be dangerous for you, for all of us, if Daniel wakes up right now. We have to _talk_." Ian's voice rose and Jose shushed him quietly.

"We'll talk here. Now. I'm not leaving this room without Daniel." A look passed between his captors and Jose nodded.

"Fine. But come over here at least and keep your voice _down_." Now Jack was really confused. He walked to the table, keeping both men in sight. The space where the coffee tray had been yesterday was clear, but the other side of the table still had a few envelopes and papers stacked haphazardly. It looked like someone had been going through his mail. A couple of pens and a letter opener sat near the unopened envelopes. Jack selected the chair nearest the papers and as he sat down rested his arm on the table and covered the six-inch tool with the sleeve of his robe. Ian gestured for him to wait and disappeared into the dressing room. Jose now split his attention between Jack and Daniel. Daniel took that moment to roll to his side, muttering in his sleep. While Jose was focused on him, Jack slipped the letter opener into his sleeve, the tip resting in his hand. He could drop it and grasp the handle in moments. Being armed worked wonders for his confidence.

"So, now what?" If Jack could get Jose to come close enough to shut him up, maybe he could get the zat away from him. His estimation of them as captors had taken a nosedive when Ian and taken off for the bathroom. Hell of a time to decide to take a potty break.

"Shut up, Jack, and listen." Ian was back. He set the first aid kit he'd apparently gone after on the table. Things were getting weirder, which was saying something given how Jack had lived since he first started going through gate.

"Listening, here, but no one's _talking_!" Daniel shifted in his sleep again. Jack willed his lover to wake, but he settled and started to snore.

"We agree with you, by the way. We think you were drugged last night." Jack was beginning to think that maybe they hadn't had anything to do with it. He put them cautiously into his 'potential allies' box, but didn't take them out of the 'captors' box just yet. "Devon's on his way to test for them. Jose's locked down the suite until we know more." Ian opened the kit and started pulling out a variety of creams and bandages. "Being married to a cop has its uses." He shot a fond smile at Jose. Jose rolled his eyes and shook his head, but didn't take the zat off of Jack. With Daniel snoring away, it was a smart move. Jack kept the tip of his letter opener in his palm.

"So, what was it and is there an antidote?" Jack thought back to what he could remember from the night before. He remembered blazing blue eyes boring into his. He remembered the excitement of Daniel ordering him into position. The feeling of being pounded into the mattress. The incredible feeling of coming with his lover buried to the hilt in his body. He remembered begging Daniel to touch him, to take him. He remembered feeling desired, loved. He remembered feeling _owned_ and loving every moment of it. Jack was getting aroused just thinking about it. And none of it was real. His rising anger, however, was very real. He had a nasty suspicion about who'd drugged them, but he wasn't going to say a word until he knew more. He still wasn't sure these two weren't in on it, even though their current actions seemed to belie that particular scenario.

"Take your robe off, Jack, I need to see how badly he hurt you." That wouldn't be good. Jack needed his robe to hide his only advantage.

"You can keep the letter opener, if it makes you feel better." Ian's calm whisper made Jack reassess the situation again. Ian may not be a soldier, but he apparently missed nothing. A pint-sized Teal'c. He could do with having Teal'c here right now. Not to mention Carter. He was going to miss them.

"Jack, I know it doesn't look like it, but we're no danger to you." Jose followed Jack's pointed glance at Daniel. "To _either_ of you. We know what must have happened last night. Trust us on this. He _is_ dangerous right now." Jose's words went straight to Jack's balls. The idea of Daniel being dangerous was turning him on, big time. But then, he'd known since the first mission that Daniel was potentially the most dangerous man he'd ever known. He always tried to find the peaceful solution even if he had to manufacture it himself, but once he decided to fight, there was no holding him back. Jack dragged his mind back to the man with the zat. Maybe they were right. He really hated when this happened. _Damned universe's full of pushers. All of them._ It's not like it would have been the first time. An image of Kynthia flashed into his mind.

"I'm not going to start getting really old or anything am I?" Ian stopped what he was doing, looking at Jack in confusion. "I'm just sayin'. I mean younger would be cool." Since it looked like Daniel was down for the count, he'd lowered his voice. Let them think he was going along until he could get the upper hand. He was starting to believe them, but he didn't trust easily. That's why he was still alive. "Well, a little younger. Y'know, if it would fix the knees and all. I could live with that."

"What _are_ you talking about?" Ian shared a confused look with Jose who just shrugged.

"Ancient history." Nobody ever understood his sense of humor.

"You and Jonathan are so much alike." Ian tugged at the left shoulder of Jack's robe. As he had his weapon in his right hand, he let Ian slip it down over a bite. Jack watched as Ian gently cleaned away the dried blood and loosened the forming scab. He winced when the antiseptic stung the now open wound.

"What the hell is that, acid?" He shrugged his shoulder out of the way, but Ian just grabbed him and continued treating the bite.

"Bites are highly prone to infection. Now hold still. For a soldier, you're not very good at handling pain." A soothing cream followed the burning and then Ian taped a small bandage over the wound. Jack glared at him as he pulled his robe down a little farther started cleaning the next wound. "When a fertile man begins taking the drugs, they start in very small doses." What the hell was he talking about? "They slowly ramp them up until the first conception." Ian kept working as he spoke and Jack finally started to understand just how widespread the damage was. With a mental shrug he slipped his arms out of the robe, but retained the letter opener. They already knew he had it, so surprise wasn't an issue. Let them treat his wounds. When he'd first gotten out of bed, his body had been one great big ache. Now he was starting to feel the individual wounds and there seemed to be a lot of them. "It's during that ramping up period that the men learn to control themselves with their partners. It's not easy and it sometimes gets worse over time." He dabbed at a particularly painful spot on Jack's lower back. "I don't think this needs stitches, but we'll have Devon look at it when he gets here." Someone, and Jack was beginning to believe these two weren't involved, doped them up with fertility drugs? Since there was no way Jack could get pregnant, that someone must have wanted them out of the way and off kilter. Off kilter certainly described how Jack felt right about then.

"You called Caruthers?" Jack wasn't sure if he liked the idea of anyone else seeing him. He realized he was still embarrassed, even with the all but confirmation that they'd been drugged and not responsible for their actions. He pushed the shame aside again. Locked it in with his ghosts. He didn't have time for that now.

"He's our doctor, Jack. We need him here before Daniel wakes up. He understands what's going on with this."

"I wish I did." Jack wished they would just get on with it, but he realized he was going to get his answers in their sweet time.

"A constable arrived from the capitol this morning to talk to Lord Jackson." Jack looked at Jose who'd leaned against the wall. He'd relaxed his posture, but his zat was still up and ready. Jack couldn't help but approve. "They wanted to talk to him about a murder in the capitol."

"Daniel's, _your_ Daniel's father killed someone? Who?" So, he didn't know Melbourne Jackson from Adam, but that just didn't sit right.

"No!" Ian seemed insulted by the thought. He glared at Jose. "Mel's not a killer." Ian looked to be lost in thought and he fumbled with the bandage he was trying to open. Jack got the impression he wasn't as certain as he wanted to be.

"Mel's perfectly capable of killing if necessary, Ian." Jack looked at Jose. He really didn't want the man patching him up to be distracted. Distracting the man with the zat was an excellent idea, though. "Mel fought the invaders. We don't know the details because he never talks about it. None of them do." They didn't have much information about the invasion itself, and Jack hoped these men could tell him something. It might help him connect some of the dots.

"Were your Daniel and Jonathan involved in it?" Get them talking about the people closest to them and maybe they'd let something slip. While his instincts were telling him they were no longer a threat, Jose was still holding a zat. Jack hated that.

"No," Ian shook his head, "They were vacationing in New Spain. Took them a while to get back here after the plague started." Jose ran a hand through his hair.

"Jonathan was already sick when they showed up in San Mateo." Jose said the name with a Spanish inflection, which sounded odd to Jack. He was used to the more Anglo pronunciation. Alternate universes were a pain the ass. He shifted a little in his chair. Sometimes literally. "At the time I was head of security for my great uncle's palace."

"Palace?" A palace in California? "Did it have a drawbridge?" Jack wanted to go home and he wanted to go home _now_.

"Jose's great-uncle is the Don of California." Ian sounded quite proud of that fact, but Jose just shrugged. Both of them ignored the drawbridge question. Jack really didn't blame them. Everybody knew castles had drawbridges. Palaces need princesses and even Jack wasn't that insensitive.

"Anyway, when I got sick, I was put in the same ward with Jonathan. Daniel hadn't been sick long and, like anyone else who could be spared, was helping to care for the plague victims. He looked after me along with Jonathan a few others. Some died, and sick as I was, I could see how badly that affected him, but he never stopped. He worked until he collapsed on a pallet next to Jonathan's. When he woke up he'd still be exhausted but he'd do it all over again. He never quit, never complained and never made us feel like he wanted to be anywhere else." That sounded like Daniel. He looked over at his sleeping lover and thought about all the times he'd put himself at risk for others.

"You fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after." Jack ignored the other men's irritation at his sarcasm. "Daniel would _love_ hearing this stuff. I know! Why don't we wake him up so you can tell _him_. Might have to pour a bucket of water over him, but he'll get over it." Jose snorted at Jack's admittedly pathetic suggestion.

"A fire hose would be more appropriate, I think." Now it was Jack's turn to glower at the other men. He really didn't like what was being implied.

"I don't know what you think went on here last night," Jose cut Jack off.

"We know _exactly_ what went on, Jack, that's what we're trying to get through to you." He pushed away from the wall. "I don't have to see test results to know that Daniel was given an overdose of fertility drugs and since neither of you are dead, you must have been drugged with _our_ supplements!" Jose strode across the room toward the table and Jack stood, his robe falling away. He grabbed Jack and shoved him hard against the wall, his arm across Jack's throat. Jack's hands were free and he'd kept hold of his weapon. This was his chance, but something held him back. "What's wrong, Jack? Why aren't you fighting me? We both know you could take me if you wanted to. You've been a soldier all your life. I've spent the past five years having babies. You've been fighting Nirrti's kind almost as long as we've been picking up the pieces. Why haven't you killed me, yet, Jack?" He pressed his arm a little harder against Jack's throat as if to emphasize his point.

Jack's mind raced. It would be so easy. The letter opener wasn't sharp, but it didn't need to be. A quick thrust and Jack could bury it between Jose's ribs. Right into the heart. He'd be dead in moments. Jack could think of a dozen ways to easily get out of the younger man's hold. But he didn't. He stood there looking into intense brown eyes, felt the pressure on his throat. He could smell Jose's sweat and he got hard. Jack knew if he touched him, it wouldn't be to hurt him. He was panting, but he couldn't tell if it was arousal or panic at what was happening. Jack licked his lips, why didn't Jose _do_ something? Jack shook his head, denying what he was feeling. This wasn't right. This wasn't him.

"You can't, can you." Jose almost purred, his voice gentle, edging over to sexy. "You like this, don't you." He wanted this man to take him. He realized in that moment that if Jose wanted him, Jack would do anything he asked, anything the powerful man in front of him _ordered_ him to do. As if reading his mind, Jose taunted him, "If I told you to suck me off right now, you'd drop to your knees without a thought, wouldn't you, Colonel?"

"No!" Jack forced the denial out when all he wanted to do was beg Jose to do it. Tell him to suck him off, tell him to turn around and spread his legs. He shook his head as well as he could and Jose released the hold he had on his throat.

"No," Jose gentled his voice and put a hand on his shoulder, "you don't _want_ to, but you would because you can't help yourself." Jack hated that he wanted to nod in agreement. Jose backed away and let Ian hand Jack his forgotten robe. Jack put it on, face flushed with shame, hating himself in that moment. "I'm sorry to put you through that, Jack, but I had to get through to you. A lot of what you're feeling isn't real. Maybe none of it is. A single dose, no matter how strong, won't change you, but until you come down off of it, you're in danger from any man who wants to take advantage of you." Jack's awareness of Jose faded, either due to the distance the other man put between them or the change in his manner. The aggression was gone.

"Daniel didn't take advantage of me!" Despite his denial, he knew that wasn't exactly true. _Daniel_, in his right mind, wouldn't have treated him like that and had Jack been in _his_ right mind, he'd never have let him. Never have begged him for it. Jack was going to have to deal with this. They'd both deal with it.

"So, this is how you normally look in the mornings?" Ian sounded skeptical.

"No! We haven't," Jack stopped. What he and Daniel did together was none of their business. He wasn't going to have his love life, his brand _new_ love life discussed at the point of a zat. The look on their faces told him it was too late.

"Madre de Dios." Jose sank down in the chair Jack had been sitting in and slapped the zat down on the table, the stack of paper muted the resulting thud. "You mean you _ aren't_ lovers?"

"Yes! We are, but, it's, um," Jack struggled with how to tell them without, well, telling them, "recent." Not quite what he'd been striving for, but it would have to do.

"Jose, if they'd never been together before, that could explain a lot. Maybe Daniel isn't as badly overdosed as it looks." Ian looked back at the sleeping man, a hopeful look on his face.

"What does _that_ mean?"

"Most couples feel a little insecure in new relationships. Jonathan told us early on that Daniel's always been protective of him and he is with us, too. Given what little we know about how your Daniel's life differs from our Daniel's life, I'd be shocked as hell if _he_ weren't completely terrified of losing you." Jack rubbed his head. His thoughts were clearing some and he couldn't deny Ian's logic. He vaguely remembered how he'd felt when he'd caught the Touched virus. He'd started thinking of his team as truly _his_. He hadn't wanted Daniel and Carter anywhere near each other. He'd wanted to prove to Daniel who was in charge. Just like Daniel had done last night.

"But this is a good thing?" He was still trying to work out how any of this was good when Ian spoke.

"It could be, Jack. If Daniel already felt the need to tie you to him to keep from losing you, it wouldn't take nearly as large a dose to produce this level of," he gestured to Jack, "damage as it would if it were our Daniel. Not only has our Daniel trained himself to control his urges out of necessity, but we _are_ tied to him, both emotionally _and_ legally." Jack nodded. That did make sense to him. "And _your_ Daniel's a lot stronger than our Daniel."

"I'd noticed." Jack bristled at Jose's comment.

"Well, you can just _stop_ noticing! You've got your own, _that_ one's mine!" This was, bar none, the most screwed up mission he'd ever been on.

"Jack, we're not in competition with you. You two chose each other, just like our Daniel and Jonathan did." Ian glanced at Jose. "Did Jonathan ever say anything to you about what things were like for them after his procedure?" Jose looked thoughtful.

"Not really, but he did seem surprised that I was having problems at first. I think it must have been an easier adjustment for them." Ian turned back to Jack.

"Look, when Daniel married me, and when he married Jose, it was because he had to." Jack resisted the urge to joke about shotgun weddings and big seven-month babies. "The new laws require that a fertile man marry as many bearing men as he could support." Whoa, that was harsh.

"You mean you were forced into this?" Ian nodded, then shook his head. Jose just shrugged. He was back to watching Daniel again, his hand on the zat.

"Yes and no. It's not as bad as it seems. For me, well, I'd know Daniel for a few years. He'd been buying my art for years." Jack had forgotten Ian was an artist. "He's also not the first lover I'd ever had. The Repro Council was pressuring him to take another consort. He and Jonathan had been together for several years and they married as soon as it was legal. Jose's marriage was primarily political, though the Repro had a hand in it as well. Daniel told me he was relieved to see my name on the list they sent him. I suspect I was the only one on it he knew, but he's never said that and _never_ given me any reason to regret saying yes." Ian sighed, this didn't seem to be easy for him. Jose just sat and watched over Daniel. Jack realized that's exactly what he was doing. Not watching him, but watching over him. "Even if it hadn't been Daniel, being married is better than the alternative. By rights, he should have at least three more consorts." Six? Jack had had enough trouble being married to one woman. He knew he was going to have his hands full being in a relationship with Daniel. He couldn't imagine having six spouses of _either_ gender.

"Whoa, how'd he get out of that?" Jack had no doubt that their Daniel had come up with an alternative that he'd somehow worked out would be better. Knowing _his_ Daniel as he did, he doubted Lord Daniel had been thinking of himself in that equation.

"Every month, Repro sends Daniel a schedule of bearing men who don't have fertile husbands." _God._ "So, every month, except when one of us is ready to conceive, Daniel takes the fertility drugs and spends most of a day," he paused seeming uncomfortable with discussing this at all, "impregnating them." Ian shivered. "He works so hard to be gentle with them, to treat them with respect and kindness. Some fertile men aren't so,"

"Daniel-like?" Jack offered. Ian smiled and nodded.

"That about sums it up. But it tears Daniel apart." Jack remembered something that had happened at the SGC.

"Do you know the men?" Ian nodded, looking curious.

"Sort of. I schedule all of Daniel's appointments. He didn't realize anyone here was involved with this until recently."

"He didn't want to know, mi Corazon." _My heart_ Jack translated the endearment. He rubbed his neck and wondered just what the relationships were here.

"I know, but he didn't. Anyway, I talk to them before they see him and then when they're ready to go." He looked at Jack. "All these men have heard the stories. I try to prepare them for what's going to happen, especially the virgins. And afterward, I try to make sure they're okay."

"Does the name Jeff Howe mean anything to you?" Jonathan had gone off his nut when he'd seen him in the infirmary with the rest of SG4.

"Yeah, Jeffery was here just before all this started." Ian cocked his head in a very Daniel-like manner. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that Jonathan saw him in the infirmary and nearly went ballistic at the thought that _your_ Daniel might run into him. He said something about Daniel feeling guilty about something he'd done." Ian nodded in understanding.

"Daniel always feels guilty. He sees the whole thing as institutionalized rape. But he does his duty." Jack wanted to take issue with the idea of rape as a duty, but Jose spoke up first.

"We all have our duties to perform, Jack." Jose looked up at Jack, his face blank. "Unlike the others, I'd never been attracted to men." Jose rubbed his forehead. Jack really didn't want to be hearing this. "Are there Catholics in your universe?"

"Former alter boy, recovering Catholic, here."

"I hope your confessor is a reasonable man." Jose looked much too amused.

"Buddy, there aren't enough Hail Marys in _both_ universes for me." Even if he were still practicing, the base chaplain was Baptist.

"When I was chosen for the procedure, I was horrified." Ian moved so he was standing behind Jose, his hand resting on his husband's, or would that be co-husband's, shoulder. Jose reached up, patted Ian's hand and smiled gratefully at him. "We don't have the resources for widespread artificial insemination. That's been reserved for areas where there simply aren't enough fertile men to service the local population." Jack reeled at the implication that a fertile man might have to 'service' any man in his area. Not that being sent a 'schedule' in the mail was much better. Jonathan and Karl had both made disparaging references to horses. Now it was clear precisely what they were referring to. "It wasn't until my father pointed out to me that our family would die out completely if I didn't do my duty that I began to accept it. There were only two bearing men in our family and no fertile men. My cousin is my great-uncle's heir. He had to stay, but I was," Jose shrugged, "available for a good marriage."

"And Daniel fit the bill?" Jack certainly thought Daniel would be a good marriage, but what did he know about this stuff?

"Very much so, both politically and personally. I'll give my great-uncle credit. He knew about the Cascadian noble who'd nursed me and Daniel's status was the first thing he checked on when the time came to look for a consort for my cousin and a husband for me." The difference between a consort and a husband was still a little unclear, but Jack decided he really didn't care. "When all the negotiations were done, Rico married Alex Ballard and I married Daniel."

"And Daniel got the Californian horses he'd been wanting." Ian laughed as he teased Jose. Jack just looked confused. He thought horses were a forbidden subject for these guys.

"You weren't even with us, yet, Ian." Jose groused, then continued for Jack's benefit. "Daniel had been trying to import horses for farming, but was having a devil of a time. Horses have become important as we've moved away from fossil fuels. He demanded fifty horses, both saddle and draft, for my dowry." Jose grinned. "My family's very traditional. I was being given to another family, I had to have a dowry." He laughed. "I remember sitting in on the negotiations. Uncle Jesus wanted to give him currency, but Daniel said, "'I _ have_ currency, what I _need_ are horses!' He winked at me then, as I recall. Anyway, Uncle Jesus grumbled and whined and yelled, but eventually agreed to forty horses." Now Jose's eyes twinkled with mischief. "What my uncle never knew is that he would have settled for twenty-five."

"If only you knew the things _my_ Daniel has talked me into over the years." Jack thought briefly of General O'Neill from that first alternate universe. Daniel had only known him for a few hours, but still managed to talk him into sacrificing his life in an attempt to save Earth in _their_ universe. Why had he never realized that Daniel had had him by the balls from the moment they met?

"We can imagine." Ian nudged Jose and they shared a look, apparently remembering an incident they weren't going to share. "Tell him the rest of it, Jose." He looked at Jack. "It gets better."

"Those bananas we had last night?" Jack nodded. They'd been excellent. "Daniel gave up ten of the horses he asked for in exchange for bushels of seasonal fruits and vegetables from a list he provided to be sent here, every month, for as long as we're married." Jose's expression turned tender. "During our talks, Daniel had asked me what I'd miss most about leaving home. I told him about the foods I loved that Cascadia couldn't provide." He wiped moisture from his eyes. "He bartered for almost everything I'd mentioned to him."

Ian wrapped his arms around Jose and kissed the top of his head. "We're very lucky, Jose." What would be lucky would be for Caruthers to show up so they could get on with things. Jack curbed his impatience with difficulty. At least his mind was becoming more and more clear. Maybe the affect of whatever he'd been given was wearing off.

"Daniel courted me. That's the only word I can think of. We spent hours just talking, getting to know each other beyond our time in the hospital." Jose twisted the wedding ring on his finger as he talked. "I still wasn't attracted to him as a lover, but he let me know that except for the necessities of conception, he'd never touch me if I didn't want him to." Jack nodded, oh, yeah, that was Daniel. "I wasn't completely sure I believed him, but even after my illness and the procedure, I was still bigger, stronger and had training that would prevent him from ever taking advantage of me." Jose looked hard at Jack and he feared this was about to veer back to him. "There was only one exception. He insisted that we make love a few times before he would come to me under the influence of the drugs. I objected, but he sat me down and explained exactly _why_ he insisted on it."

"Jose, did you bring the letter?"

"What letter?"

"Daniel asked Jonathan to write to me and no, Ian, I left in our suite. He and I had gotten to be friends during our recovery. His letter was what finally convinced me. He went into _excruciating_ detail, details Daniel couldn't bring himself to discuss at all, about why Daniel insisted on it. The last sentence was 'for cryin' out loud, say yes and let him bring you home'." Jack remembered how he'd fumbled through his proposal to Sara.

"As different as our worlds are would it surprise you that those are almost the _ exact_ words I said when I proposed to my ex-wife?"

"Not at all, Jack." Ian sounded certain on that point. "So far, you two are remarkably like our Daniel and Jonathan. I don't pretend to understand how all this works, but it seems given half a chance, the people remain fairly constant."

"So, you and Daniel don't," Jack couldn't think of a polite word for it that didn't sound silly when talking about someone else. "You know." What had Daniel said about feeling like a teenager?

"Ah, yeah, that was the point of all this wasn't it. Yes, Jack, we do. Now." Jose chewed his lip. Another of Daniel's mannerisms these men seemed to share. "For years now, I've been thinking that I'd just been in denial all my life. How could I embrace sex with a man so easily unless I really was homosexual?" Jack nodded, closets were one thing he understood all too well. Denial was another one he was good at.

"There's a but. I can hear a but." It was like pulling teeth to get these guys to actually _get to the point_.

"Remember the stuff they found in our supplements?" Ian gestured to himself and Jose. Jack nodded. He really wasn't sure he was ready for this part.

"We've been beating our heads against the wall for days trying to figure out what they might be doing to us. When we saw the zat on the floor of the sitting room and the clothes scattered out there we suspected you'd been drugged. Finding your shirt ripped to shreds and your condition, kinda confirmed that. Jose got the zat and we called Devon. Then, when we were both standing by the bed, we both, well, responded to Daniel." Jack looked at his lover who'd continued to sleep through everything. He was now sprawled on his back, his strong arms, well-muscled chest and one long leg uncovered. Jack smirked and looked back to the other two.

"And, so, therefore?" Who _wouldn't_ respond to that?

"Jack, you're not getting this. Neither of us have had _any_ physical reaction to a man outside the four of us for _years_!" Ian looked a little insulted by the fact. Jack reminded himself that he'd been gay before this. Even when Jack was married, he'd still responded to an attractive woman, he just didn't do anything about it. Well, until he got home and then Sara reaped the benefits of his jump-started libido. As she'd put it, if looking would get him going like that, she was okay with it, as long as he came _ straight_ home and let her help him out of his difficulty.

"We've been around other men, even other fertile men, Jack. It's hard to avoid given Daniel's class. A certain amount of socializing is expected. Some of the men stay on the drugs all the time, it's easier for some of them." Jose leaned forward in his chair. "Some like to flaunt their," a look of distaste crossed his face, "their, natures. Especially to a pregnant man. I have no idea what they think they're doing, but they flirt and try to touch and generally make asses of themselves. Some are much more charming about it and for them, it's a harmless way to pass the time at some boring function or other. They can be very sweet, actually." He smiled at Ian. "Remember Joe, Joe somebody at Lord Westridge's wedding?"

"Faxon. Joe Faxon. Nice guy." Ian blushed a little.

"You should know, you danced with him enough." Jose poked Ian's arm.

"What did you expect? You and Jonathan were both huge and Daniel wouldn't leave your sides. I had to do something or I'd've died of boredom." This was all becoming too normal for Jack. He was going to have culture shock from going _home_.

"The point is, though, you didn't react to him, did you." Ian shook his head.

"No, and I should have. I mean, he's handsome, charming and a good dancer. I was a couple of months gone at the time. I thought the hormones were just messing with me." Ian shrugged. "We both realized it when we reacted to Daniel this morning. See, we _ didn't_ react to him at _all_ last night." Jack started to say something, but closed his mouth. He tried again.

"If I wanted cryptic I'd talk to my team. I _never_ know what they're talking about." Jose rolled his eyes, but Ian tried to explain.

"We think the supplements somehow cause bearing men to, well, bond with the fertile man they're closest to."

"Still not getting it."

"If it was just that we reacted to Daniel, we should have reacted to your Daniel yesterday. It wasn't until the fertility drugs were in his body that whatever's been done to us triggered the response. If Daniel were awake right now, he'd have an inordinate amount of influence on _all_ of us. We _need_ Devon here to intercede for us. If it comes to it, he can sedate him, but it would be best if Daniel woke up in control of himself. We need your help with whatever's going on."

"The murder thing, right?"

"That and something we'd like him to identify, if he can." Ian pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it on the table. Jack glanced at it, but Ian's drawing was plain.

"It's a DHD." Jack stuck his hands in the pockets of his robe but since that made it gap, he resisted the impulse to rock back and forth on his heels.

"Oh." Ian sounded disappointed. Jack guessed he was expecting a more exotic name. "What's a DHD."

"Dial home device." Daniel's voice startled all of them. Ian backed away, while Jose grabbed the zat and prepared to fire.

"Wait. Jose, just _wait_. Let's see what's up, then you can zat him if you need to." Jack hurried over to the bed. Daniel held onto his head like he thought it would fall off. His eyes were shuttered against the light. Jack sat next to him and rubbed his forehead.

"Zat, Jack? Did you just give someone permission to zat me?" Daniel squirmed around until he could put his head in Jack's lap. He sighed. "Jack? Zat?"

"Don't worry about that right now. I'll explain everything." Daniel grunted at him and Jack wondered if he was going back to sleep. "Hey, don't fall asleep on me, we've got stuff to do."

Daniel peered at him through one eye, "Stuff." His eye sagged shut and then both flew open. "Jack, where are we and why," he raised his head enough to look at himself, raised the sheet and looked under it then pulled it up to his neck, "why am I naked?"

"Before we get into that," Jack ran his hand through Daniel's hair and down his face. He slid down onto the bed so he could lay on top of the sheet next to his lover. "I want to do this." He took Daniel's face in his hands and kissed him. Daniel responded, but with only the slightest trace of the frenzy from the night before. "Have I told you this morning that I love you?" Jack echoed Daniel's words from their first morning.

"No, as a matter of fact, and I was beginning to wonder if you only wanted my body." They both laughed, but Daniel's turned quickly to a moan of pain and he rubbed his temple.

"I love you, Danny, never forget that." Daniel started to look worried. "Do you trust me, love?"

"With my soul, Jack." Daniel's fingers traced the lines of Jack's face and rubbed lightly over his lips. "With my soul." Jack kissed his lover's fingers and took his hand. _This_ was his Daniel.

"I'm going to ask you to do something and you have to promise to do it no matter what."

"Jack? What's going on?" He was started to get agitated and that was the last thing Jack could afford for him to do.

"I need to you to stay calm. That's all, just stay calm no matter what. If you don't stay calm, then Jose's going to have to zat you. Can you do that?" Daniel nodded slowly beginning to look at Jack like he was nuts.

"Okay, Jack, I can stay calm, but it would be easier if I had a clue what was going on. And why would Jose," he squinted at the other two men, "um, hello." He turned back to Jack, glancing across the room from time to time. "Why would Jose zat me if I don't stay calm?"

"I'm getting to that. First," telling him what happened was going to be hard. Daniel didn't seem to remember the previous night at all. "How much do you remember about last night?" Daniel frowned.

"Dinner. I remember that." Jack nodded and rubbed the back of Daniel's neck. That often helped his headaches. They should have worked this out years ago. How many guys know how to ease another guy's headache? Daniel gestured to the other men, "They left right after dinner and we talked with Lord Jackson for a bit." Daniel chewed his bottom lip as he thought. "I remember he poured us some brandy and I kept wanting him to leave." All the blood drained from Daniel's face. "Jack?"

"Shh, love, it's not nearly as bad as you remember. Trust me." Daniel's eyes strayed from Jack's face and stopped on a spectacular bruise on Jack's neck. He raised up on his elbow and gently traced the edges of the bruise. Jack winced at the touch.

"I did that." Daniel's face was a shade or two off the color of the white sheets on the bed. "Oh, god, Jack, I hurt you." Daniel backed away from Jack.

"Daniel!" Jack stopped and calmed himself. "Daniel, you need to calm down. We were drugged. What happened last night," his lover looked panicked, and aroused. His eyes were almost black. "Love, please, listen to me. What happened, what we did was _us_! All the drugs did was make it more," Jack needed the right word, but it wasn't coming.

"Intense." Ian had approached the bed behind Jack. He was staring at Daniel. "Please, you've got to do as Jack says. You're affecting all of us like this and we have other problems to deal with right now." Ian's eyes and the flush of his skin indicated his own arousal. "Our Daniel has learned to control it. You can do it, too. I know you can." Daniel stared at Ian. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes taking several deep breaths.

"How does this work, guys?" Jack spoke to Ian and Jose, but never took his eyes off Daniel. "I mean, you felt the effects of the drug on _Daniel_ for cryin' out loud. How did that happen?"

"I have no idea, it just did." Jose sounded closer, but Jack didn't look away. He was drawn to his lover, but for once in this godforsaken mission, his training was working for him.

"Pheromones." Daniel's voice showed the strain he was under, but he spoke quietly. "Janet was still going over all the test results when Jonathan went into labor. I don't know if she tested for that or not, but I bet the drugs stimulated pheromone production." Ian nodded.

"That makes sense. We're responding to Daniel because we're, for want of a better word, addicted to _our_ Daniel's pheromones." Ian paused. "What I don't understand is _why_? Why would anyone want to force this? Men were willing to do their duty without anyone needing to resort to such lengths. Why are _any_ of the drugs tainted?"

"Ask them. I think they know." Jose sounded lost. Jack turned his head enough to see him. The strong soldier Jack had seen earlier was gone. Ian went to him and gathered him in his arms. The two men clung to each other, speaking quietly. That's right. Jose lost a daughter at some point. Talking about the tainted drugs probably reopened the wound. Jack knew more about that than he cared to think about. He looked down, refusing to invade the men's grief any longer. Jack looked back at Daniel and saw that he'd pulled the sheet up around him so he was covered. He sat up against the headboard with his arms around his legs and his forehead resting on his knees.

"We suspect we know who's doing it, we don't know anything for certain." Jack sighed.

"Tell them, Jack. Just tell them. They deserve to know." Daniel sounded wrung out despite his long sleep. "And Jack?"

"Danny?"

"Please get off the bed. I can't, um, focus when you're so close." He turned his head, still resting it on his knees and smiled a sad, tired smile. Jack returned his smile and nodded.

"Yeah, you're kinda putting me off my game right now, too. Hey, why don't you go in and clean up while we talk." Daniel's smile widened a little then he turned his head back to hide his face.

"That's a good idea, Jack. Might decrease the effect, too." His voice was muffled and Jack realized he didn't want to get out from under the cover of the sheet. "I can smell you on me and it's making it very difficult to stay this far away from you." Jack swallowed hard. He knew exactly what Daniel meant. He'd need to go clean up, too, but figured he'd wait until Caruthers had a chance to give him a once over. He didn't like the idea, but it was necessary.

"Hey, Ian, is there another robe in there for Daniel? He's going to go grab a shower and get some clothes on." Ian gave Jose a final hug and then disappeared into the dressing room. He returned with one of Jonathan's caftan things and handed it to Jack to give to Daniel. Ian couldn't have picked one that would look worse on Daniel if he'd tried. The hunter green was going to make Daniel look like he was at death's door. Maybe that was the point. Jack hesitated, should he help him dress? Help him get up? Daniel didn't look like he was firing on all cylinders at the moment.

"I'll take it, Jack. You should move away." His eyes were dilated even more than usual and his face was flushed. Jack got the message. He handed over the garment and retreated to the table. "Jack do you know where my pack is?" Daniel stood on the far side of the bed wearing the shapeless caftan and looking as sallow as Jack had imagined.

"They're in the dressing room, Daniel. Yours is, I imagine, on the left side with Daniel's things." Ian was looking anywhere but at Daniel. This must be difficult for them on a whole lot of levels. Jack watched his lover until he disappeared into the dressing room closing the door behind him.

The three men sat at the table and as quickly as he could, Jack gave them a rundown of his analysis. He didn't go into the nature of the Tok'ra, just that they were a group who opposed the Goa'uld. He didn't think they were up to the task of appreciating the differences. Jack certainly didn't half the time. Both men were horrified at the thought that Niriti might still be around, messing up their world. When he finished, they sat in stunned silence.

"Tell them the rest of it, Jack." Jack looked at his lover standing in the doorway of the dressing room. He was in BDUs and his hair was still wet from his shower. The shower seemed to have helped. Jack didn't feel the same overwhelming need to go to him. He still _wanted_ to, but decided that was him not the drugs.

"What rest of it?" Jack watched as Daniel walked to the heavy curtains covering the windows. He touched them, but didn't move them aside.

"Jack, don't play dumb." He didn't even scowl at him. He was taking their injunction to stay calm seriously.

"Not playing. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Things started to get weird for me after the second brandy. How about you?" Daniel wandered over to lean against a bookshelf.

"Oh. That rest of it." Jack decided they'd need a much longer vacation when this was over.

"Jack. Don't. You don't have to tiptoe around it for my sake. He's not _my_ father." _No, Danny, but you wish he was, don't you._

"What's he talking about?" Jack didn't want to answer Ian. He didn't want to think about what this was going to do to Daniel. Either of them.

"He," Daniel said, "is talking about who drugged us."

"You think Beecham drugged you? That's absurd." Ian didn't voice didn't match the certainty of his words. Someone had done it and very few had had the opportunity.

"No, Ian. Remember, Beecham didn't pour the last brandy." Daniel sounded like he was already in mourning. Again. "I think Niriti drugged us." He swallowed hard and stared at the men sitting with Jack. "Have there been any sudden deaths or disappearances in the capitol?"

"A constable is here right now talking with Mel about Lord Trenton's murder. He was killed just a few days ago. But Daniel, Niriti's dead. They found her body." Ian sounded tired. Jack could see neither of these men had any idea what was going on. Even though they were living proof of Niriti's invasion, they hadn't seen what Jack and Daniel had seen. Jack began to wonder if they had _any_ idea of just what the snakes were. He was going to have to have a talk with his counterpart about sharing necessary information. The protection thing these four had going on was going to get them all killed at this rate.

"What did he do in the capitol?" Jack made a private bet with himself.

"He was head of the Repro Council." Pay the winners.

"Of course he was." Daniel spoke again. "I bet they found an odd wound in the back of his throat or neck, right?"

"How did you know that?" Jose spoke finally. He'd been sitting quietly, still processing everything that led to the death of his daughter. Jack cocked an eyebrow at him. "I spoke to the constable when they showed up earlier." He shrugged. "Professional courtesy." Jack nodded. He would have asked, too.

"He was Niriti's last host. The body your people found the first time was just that. A body. Her host. When a Goa'uld leaves a host, they rip," Daniel's voice broke. Jack was out of his chair before anyone could say anything. Drugs and pherywhatzits be damned, he'd made a promise to Daniel back in that storeroom and he'd be damned if he reneged on it now. Daniel shook his head and waved Jack away. "They rip a hole in the tissue of the throat and exit through the mouth. The host doesn't survive." Jack started to move to Daniel's side again, when the bedroom door opened.

"What does it matter, Doctor Jackson? It's just a vessel." Lord Jackson walked in and surveyed the room. Then his eyes flashed. "Nothing of the host survives."

* * *

"That's a good idea, Jack. Might decrease the effect, too." Daniel was hard as nails. He gripped his legs harder and fought the hysteria he could feel beginning. _Decrease the effect._ That particular horse was long gone from the barn. Oh, god, he'd hurt Jack. He'd wanted their first time together to be so beautiful, so loving and instead he'd _raped_ him. Daniel didn't remember much about the night before, but he remembered biting his lover hard enough to draw blood. He'd nearly come from the taste of his blood. Lover? That was over. How could they ever be together again? How could Jack ever trust him again? One night. They'd had one beautiful night. Jack asked him to be calm. It was the least Daniel could do for the man he'd wronged so horribly. He took a deep breath to calm himself. Jack, Jack's scent on his skin. His sweat, his cum, his blood covered Daniel. "I can smell you on me and it's making it very difficult to stay this far away from you." _Jack! Oh, god, Jack! I'll never be able to hold you again._ He'd have to leave the team, maybe the SGC. Daniel would leave before he'd hurt Jack again and he couldn't believe Jack would ever want to _see_ him again, much less work with him. He wondered what he would do. It didn't matter. He'd lost Jack. Nothing mattered anymore.

"Hey, Ian, is there another robe in there for Daniel? He's going to go grab a shower and get some clothes on." Of course. Jack wouldn't feel safe with Daniel nude. He'd never feel safe with him again. Daniel kept his head down and let the sheet absorb his tears. He'd told Jack he wanted to protect him, keep him safe. Hysterical laughter threatened again. He grabbed at whatever self-control he had left and held it in. He had to be in control. Get out of the room, get dressed and keep as much distance between himself and Jack as he could. He'd never be able to regain the trust he'd violated, but he could do damage control. Try to help the man he would always love by staying away.

Cloth rubbed against his arm. Daniel peered out from the safety of his knees and saw Jack holding a bundle of dark green cloth at arm's length. That's the way it would be for the little time they had left. Arm's length. Daniel took the garment. Jack's expression showed how uncomfortable he was at the moment. It broke Daniel's heart to see it and know that _he'd_ done this to Jack. Shifu's dream had been so right. No matter how much Daniel _wanted_ to do the right thing, he was a monster underneath it all. _ That's_ why the Ascended ones had thrown him out. They must have finally seen he was no better than Anubis, just not as strong.

"I'll take it, Jack. You should move away." _Please, Jack, don't come near me. Don't let me hurt you again. I need you so badly right now._ As soon as Jack turned his back, Daniel slipped what turned out to be a large caftan over his head. Of course. It would slow him down if he tried anything. It was so long, he'd have to hold it up to keep from tripping over it. A robe would leave Jack at more risk. Daniel suddenly noticed that Jack wasn't really dressed. Just a robe. He swallowed hard as he stood, pulling the bulky garment down as he slid out from under the cover of the sheet. Jack must be too injured to put on pants. "Jack, do you know where my pack is?"

"They're in the dressing room, Daniel. Yours is, I imagine, on the left side with Daniel's things." God help him, Jack wouldn't even speak to him anymore, letting Ian answer instead. Neither of the bearing men would even look at him as he passed the table on his way to the dressing room. Daniel started to hyperventilate. Was this was _their_ life was like? Oh, god! Did his counterpart do this to _them_? Daniel closed the door firmly behind him and leaned against it trying to breathe normally. _Addicted to him. Ian said they were addicted to him._ Daniel shuddered. He wondered if they were drawn to _ their_ Daniel like he'd been to the sarcophagus. Wanting it, _needing_ it but still knowing, somewhere, that it was changing him, warping his soul but not being able to refuse the pleasure it offered. Not _wanting_ to refuse it. He'd been able to throw off his addiction, but these men had to carry the product of the rapes they were unwittingly complicit in and then... Daniel swallowed convulsively, the children. They had children they had to protect from the monster that had fathered them. Daniel staggered from the doorway tasting bile. He somehow managed to make it to the bathroom before his nausea got the better of him.

He got into the shower on automatic. With the water as hot as he could stand it, he tried to scrub away his sin. Daniel tried not to think, not to remember, but flashes keep coming at him. Jack on his knees, his back and shoulders torn and bloody. Jack screaming as Daniel entered him. Jack begging him and Daniel doing just as he pleased. He'd stopped being Daniel's lover and become his _property_. Daniel scrubbed harder until the water going down the drain was tinted with his blood. _Jack's blood on his skin._ The thought snapped Daniel out of his fugue and he hurried to shut it off. He had to get away from Jack's blood. Nearly slipping, he staggered out of the shower and dried himself harshly, punishing himself, but it could never be enough.

Daniel frantically dug through his pack, throwing the contents onto the floor as he scrabbled for clothes. As he pulled a shirt out, something tumbled back into the bottom of the pack. He reached in for it and pulled it out. His field knife. Daniel sat back on his heels and held it in his hands, his agitation gone. Slowly, he pulled the blade out of its scabbard. So easy. It would be so easy. He remembered one of the parade of foster brothers he'd had. Daniel had been about twelve. Allan, a couple of years older. He'd been bounced through the system as long as Daniel had and they'd bonded as much as he'd ever bonded with anyone in those years. They didn't talk much, but spent hours in companionable silence, reading or, in Allan's case, drawing. He never showed anyone his art. Allan had always worn long sleeved shirts and finally Daniel had asked him why. He'd learned early on in foster care to avoid asking people questions, but sometimes he couldn't help himself. Allan had looked at him and without a word, unbuttoned his cuff and rolled it up a few inches. A long scar bisected the older boy's wrist. Daniel hadn't said a word, just looked at his friend's wrist and then back up at his face. "If you're ever going to do it," the older boy had explained calmly, "you need to cut up your arm, not across." Allan had shrugged then. "I screwed it up." He'd rolled his sleeve back down, buttoned the cuff and nothing was ever said about it again. Daniel had been moved to another home a few weeks later. It was three months before he finally found out that Allan learned from his mistakes.

"I remember Allan. I won't screw it up." Daniel ran his finger down the flat of the blade before sliding it back into the scabbard. Then he placed the knife carefully back in his pack feeling wonderfully at peace. When all this was over. When the mission was over and Jack was safe at home. Until then, he had one task. Keep Jack safe. He could do that. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the man Daniel used to be screamed.

Finally dressed, he quietly opened the door of the dressing room and listened to Jack telling the others what he'd told Daniel the day before. His body yearned for them all. He shoved that away and pushed it along the tenuous connection running from him to the screaming in his mind. _Danny_. Of course, Danny was the one screaming. He'd give Danny his love and desire to care for. It was too dangerous for Daniel. If Danny had it, it could never be used as a weapon. Daniel felt a moment's regret that his punishment would hurt Danny, but there was no way around it. _I'm sorry, Danny, but there's no other way. Try to go to sleep and it'll all be over soon. I'll make sure Jack gets home okay. I know I hurt him, but if you help me, I'll take care of him for you._ Danny's screams grew fainter and Daniel relaxed a bit as the connection between them narrowed, hardened and then shattered. That was better. Now he could focus. Jack had finished telling the others, but he'd left something out. Daniel shook his head.

"Tell them the rest of it, Jack." He never had understood why Jack did this. Jack was far too emotional sometimes.

"What rest of it?" Daniel walked over to the windows, but decided there was no reason to look outside. What difference did it make what kind of view these poor men had?

"Jack, don't play dumb." Daniel hoped that Jack would stop doing that one day.

"Not playing. I have no idea what you're talking about." _Yes you do! Why are you fighting me?_ Daniel could feel his other self squirming under his control. Wanting out. Wanting Jack.

"Things started to get weird for me after the second brandy. How about you?" He wandered to the bookcase and let it support him. Books were safe. A refuge. They didn't bleed if you creased a page accidentally.

"Oh. That rest of it."

"Jack. Don't. You don't have to tiptoe around it for my sake. He's not my father." _ Danny's parents were lucky. They didn't live to see the monster lurking within._

"What's he talking about?" Poor gentle Ian. How much pain had his other self inflicted on this man?

"He," Daniel said, "is talking about who drugged us."

"You think Beecham drugged you? That's absurd." _God, you stupid little man! No wonder you were selected for breeding, you're not smart enough for anything else!_

"No, Ian. Remember, Beecham didn't pour the last brandy." Daniel decided he shouldn't be so hard on him. Who knows how much damage had been done to him over the years. He's been abused for years and made to want it. "I think Nirrti drugged us." _ Goddamn bitch!_ They were no better than he was. All the damned snakes deserved to die and their poor hosts with them. How could anyone be expected to live with that kind of trauma; that kind of guilt. He knew he'd have to go see Sarah before he allowed himself to rest. She shouldn't be forced to live with such pain any longer. He'd been cruel to her when they were together. Ignored her. He couldn't remember ever abusing her, but he must have. That's what monsters did. He could give her a final kindness. Daniel swallowed hard as he realized he couldn't allow his alternate to return here. He couldn't put these men back in his hands. Nirrti came first. He had to be sure, though, before he killed her. Had to make absolutely certain he had the right person. He wouldn't hurt another innocent. "Have there been any sudden deaths or disappearances in the capitol?"

"A constable is here right now talking with Mel about Lord Trenton's murder. He was killed just a few days ago. But Daniel, Nirrti's dead. They found her body." Poor Ian was so tired. Daniel wondered if it was right to make him go through the rest of his life with what he'd endured, either one of them. Their children would be cared for. Children were treasured here, if they had parents or not.

"What did he do in the capitol?" _Good Jack. You know he won't want to talk to me._

"He was head of the Repro Council." _Perfect place for that bitch to screw things up even more_.

"Of course he was." Daniel continued to lead them to the answer. "I bet they found an odd wound in the back of his throat or neck, right?"

"How did you know that?" _I can give you the peace your monster never granted you, Jose._ "I spoke to the constable when they showed up earlier." Jose shrugged. "Professional courtesy." Jack nodded. _Do you want peace, too, Jack? I took your chance away from you once. Now, now, I know I was wrong. I can help you, too, if you want._ Danny struggled against his captor.

"He was Nirrti's last host. The body your people found the first time was just that. A body. Her host. When a Goa'uld leaves a host, they rip," Danny pushed, trying to take back control, but Daniel forced him back into the darkness. _Rest, Danny, it won't be too much longer now. Just a few more things to take care of._ Jack was coming towards him, but Daniel couldn't allow that. Couldn't allow Jack to touch him. He'd be contaminated. Daniel shook his head and waved Jack away. _Soon, Jack. I'll let you do what you want to me, then I'll give you the peace you've wanted for so long._ "They rip a hole in the tissue of the throat and exit through the mouth. The host doesn't survive." Jack was coming towards him again but someone interrupted.

"What does it matter, Doctor Jackson? It's just a vessel." The other monster's father entered the room. Daniel calmly watched him approach. Another damaged innocent. He'd had to watch his son grow into Daniel's twin. Then as Lord Jackson closed the door behind him, his eyes flashed. "Nothing of the host survives." Daniel stepped closer to Nirrti/Lord Jackson. He positioned himself between the Goa'uld and the three men behind him.

"Lord Jackson, I know you can hear me. I need you to hang on. I won't let you suffer much longer." Nirrti's eyes flashed again. They always hated it when he spoke to their host. Daniel had to keep the Goa'uld's attention on him.

"My host cannot hear you, Doctor Jackson." The bitch sounded irritated. "He has been quite forthcoming with information, though. When I took him I had no idea he was the one who stole the chappa'ai and the interdimensional portal. What does surprise me is that his son learned how to use it." Nirrti glanced behind him and raised the hand bearing a hand device. "Now, you will tell me how you altered my virus. I thought it was the Tok'ra, but seeing you here tells me otherwise." The jewel in the center of his palm began to glow.

"If you're trying to scare me, Nirrti, you're going to have to do better than that. I've killed bigger snakes than you could ever be." He paused a moment. Danny was quiet, letting Daniel handle this without interruption. He spared a grateful thought for that part of him. Danny had all the memories of being under the device, but intellectually, Daniel understood it was painful and debilitating. He raised one finger in a silent request for Nirrti to wait. He hoped Jack wasn't too traumatized that he forgot there was a zat on the table. He assumed it was hidden from the Goa'uld since Nirrti hadn't demanded it be turned over. "Is Ra alive?" He raised his eyebrows at his opponent, satisfied with the angry look on the host's face.

"Ra lives!" He growled.

"Ah. Does he know you're poaching on one of his planets?" Daniel watched calmly as the Goa'uld stiffened and pointed the hand device at Daniel's head. When the beam hit him, he heard Danny scream in warning. Daniel fell to his knees, the pain was unendurable. It sapped his strength and made it difficult to breathe. He wanted to scream, but no sound came from his open mouth. Daniel felt Danny wrap him in warmth, supporting his mind, comforting him. Daniel struggled to move in spite of the pain. He reached up and managed to grab the wrist behind the weapon but couldn't summon the strength to do more. "Jack!" He gasped, "Do it!" Danny whispered to him, telling him Jack would be there, Jack would help, Jack loved them. Daniel couldn't spare the energy to argue. He had to stay conscious, had to be awake to protect Jack, to save the others from their monster. So much left to do before he could rest.

The light was gone. Daniel gasped, he fell to the floor pulling air into his starved lungs. He could hear Jack calling for Jose and then there were arms wrapping around him, pulling him close. Daniel shuddered, trying to regain control of himself. His eyes opened and it was Jack holding him, rocking him telling Daniel he loved him. Daniel wanted to pull away, to apologize again, but he had no control over his body. _Danny? Danny? What are you doing? You need to rest, you need to hide, you could hurt him!_

"Jack!" Danny had switched places with him. Daniel watched and listened, unable to interfere. He was so cold. "Jack! You've got to help me, help us! He wants to kill us!" Danny sounded frantic.

"Shh, love, it's over. Jose's got him tied up. Not even a goold's gonna get out of that." Jack continued to rock them. Running his hand through their hair. Danny relaxed into the gentle touch and Daniel struggled to grab him and shove him back into the cold and the dark. He didn't like the dark. There were things there, little scrabbling things with sharp teeth and hooked claws and they wanted him.

"No, Jack, please, you've got to listen! I don't know how much longer I can hold out. He's pushing me." Daniel felt their panting breaths, felt their heart pounding. A bolt of fear shot through Danny. "Oh, god, Jack, am I a host? Is that what this is? He does things, says things and I can't stop him!"

"No! No, you're not a host! Daniel! You're not making any sense! Who's pushing you?"

"Daniel is!" Tremors ran through their body. "He's going to kill us! He's going to kill the other Daniel, too. He doesn't want the other monster to hurt them anymore. Don't let him kill you, Jack, please." Danny's voice was growing weaker. Daniel fought for control, grabbing at Danny, pulling him out of the light Daniel craved and shoving him into the cold darkness where monsters lurked and fed.

_Danny, you're hurting him. Look at his face! He's touching us! We have to get away from him! Let me protect him!_

"You don't want to protect him, Daniel, you want to kill him."

"Who does he want to kill, Danny?" Jack looked so scared.

"You, Jack, he says it's the only way to give you peace after," Danny sobbed, "after we raped you." Danny clung to Jack's robe and sobbed.

_I know you're tired Danny, why don't you sleep for a while. Rest. I'll let you talk to Jack again when you wake up._ Daniel crooned to Danny, lulling him toward sleep.

"So tired. You'll let me talk to Jack again?"

"What?" Daniel couldn't spare any time for Jack's confusion.

_Of course, but you need to sleep now. Do you remember how nice it is to be in Jack's house? In Jack's bed? It's right there. Go and rest now._

"I like Jack's house. Feel safe there." Danny's voice drifted as he slid toward sleep. "It was a beautiful night, wasn't it Jack? At least we had that." Daniel led Danny to the bed in their mind and gently tucked him under the covers.

_I'll take care of things for you and when you wake up you can talk to Jack again, okay?_ Danny nodded and turned over, hugging Jack's pillow to him. Daniel smiled and opened his eyes.

"It's okay now, Jack. He's sleeping. You don't have to touch us anymore." Daniel gently disentangled himself from Jack and scooted back until he was leaning against the foot of the bed. Jack watched him, his expression blank. Daniel put his hand on the floor to shift into a more comfortable position and felt something hard under cloth. Glancing down he saw the clothes they'd been wearing the night before. _That's where my zat is._ He left it there for the moment. Nirrti glared at them all through Lord Jackson's eyes. He was lying on the floor a few feet from Daniel, tied hand and foot with leather straps that looked like they might be belts securing his arms to his sides. A gag made out of what looked like part of Jack's shirt and Daniel's tie kept the snake from speaking. Daniel nodded to himself noting that even a Goa'uld would have trouble breaking out of that. Jose stood over them all with Jack's zat in his hands.

"Devon should be here soon, Jack." Ian laid his hand on Jack's arm. "It's going to be okay, Jack, he's going to be okay." Jack nodded, not taking his eyes off Daniel.

"Ian, I'm sorry, so sorry for what you've been through. You should never have been put in this position." Ian approached and kneeled down next to him, too close.

"Daniel, I don't understand what's happening to you right now, but you've got to fight it. You've done so much for us, we'll find a way to help you." Ian was being so very brave to be this close to him. "I think the drugs are doing this to you, somehow. But they're wearing off, I don't," he paused as if trying to make sense of something, "I don't _feel_ them in you anymore." He glanced back at Jose and Jack? "Are either of you getting anything?" Both shook their heads, Jose barely taking his eyes off of Nirrti who still struggled vainly in his bonds. Ian turned back to Daniel. "See? When Devon gets here, you'll see. He's dealt with all sorts of reactions to the fertility drugs. He'll be able to help you." Daniel smiled at Ian's sincerity.

"Ian, no one can help us. What we've done, what we _are_ isn't anything Devon can treat."

"Stop it, Daniel! Just stop it! Stop talking about yourself that way!" Jack looked angry. He ran his hand through his hair and paced. He finally stopped and looked into Daniel's eyes. Daniel allowed it. Whatever Jack wanted he'd give him. "Earlier you, you said you'd," he gritted his teeth and ground the words out, "said you raped me." Daniel nodded. Danny had said it actually, but he didn't think Jack was in any mood to be corrected. "God." Clinching his fists Jack staggered toward him. _Go ahead, Jack, hit me. I deserve it. I deserve so much worse._ Jack stopped next to Ian and gestured for the younger man to move away. Once Ian was gone, Jack sank down in his place. "Danny." At Daniel frowned and Jack corrected himself, "Daniel. Sorry."

"It's okay, Jack."

"Danny, you didn't rape me last night." Daniel sighed. Jack wasn't facing this very well. The pain in his voice told Daniel the truth behind the lies Jack was telling himself. "I wanted _everything_ that happened. I _loved_ everything that happened." Daniel felt Danny roll over in his sleep and murmur Jack's name. It made Daniel smile sadly.

"He's dreaming of you right now. Danny loves you so much, Jack." Daniel hated to ask this of him, but he owed Danny, too. "I know you can never love us after we hurt you, but," he raised a hand to keep Jack from interrupting him, "I know I have no right to you for anything, but when you talk to Danny again, could you at least tell him you forgive him? It would mean so much. He thinks you still love us. You and I would know it wasn't real and that's fine, I'd never let him know. But it would mean so much to him." Jack reached out and stroked Daniel's face. He jerked away from his hand.

"Don't touch me! Jack, please, I don't want to contaminate you any more than I have. You don't deserve it."

"I want to touch you, love. Don't you get it? You, um, Danny's right. I still love you. I'll always love you." Daniel's conviction began to waver in the face of Jack's sincerity.

"You can't, Jack. You're just confused right now. I'll fix it, don't worry." Jack was confused and why wouldn't he be? Before Daniel could explain what was he had to do, the bedroom door flew open and Devon strode into the room, his bag in hand. He faltered to a stop, looking at the bizarre tableau before him.

"What the hell is going on? What have you done to Lord Jackson!"

"Caruthers! Get over here!" Devon joined them at the foot of the bed and Daniel moved the clothes covered zat out of his way, but kept it at hand. He might need it.

"He's not Lord Jackson anymore, Devon." Jose spared a quick glance for his doctor. "He's been taken over by Nirrti." Nirrti shook his head, denying the accusation.

"She's _dead_, Jose!"

"No, we saw his eyes glow. He used that weapon," Jose nodded to the discarded hand device that had been tossed onto the bed, "on Daniel. We shot him with this and then tied him up."

"Devon," Daniel drew the doctor's attention away from Jose and the Goa'uld. That wasn't important now. "Jack needs you." Daniel stared calmly at the doctor, then lowered his voice causing Devon to lean in to hear him. "I raped him last night and he's not dealing with it very well." Devon's face went white and Daniel nodded solemnly. "Please help him."

"I don't _need_ help! I'm fine!" Jack cut Daniel off before he could interrupt, "Doc, there's something wrong with Daniel. We were drugged last night, things got a little intense." Daniel frowned at Jack. He shouldn't be covering for him. "Now, he's, he's not, not himself."

"I see." Devon glanced back around at the man on the floor who was watching them.

"Devon, don't waste your time on me. I'm fine. Jack's the one who needs you." Why couldn't he make them understand? Daniel's head started to ache.

"Jack?" Devon pulled his stethoscope out of his bag and placed the ear pieces around his neck.

"I'm _fine_!" He looked at the skeptical faces around him. "Ok, not completely fine, but fine enough. Check Daniel out first." Daniel knew that expression. Jack was determined to be difficult.

"Daniel? Do you mind if I examine you? If you were given fertility drugs last night, I really should check you out." He held the bell of his 'scope in his hands to warm it. "It's standard procedure whenever a man starts taking them." Daniel allowed a small smile. Devon was humoring Jack. If that's what it took to get Jack to accept treatment, then Daniel could go along. He nodded and let Devon look him over. Heart, lungs, the usual checks he was used to at the SGC. Devon frequently glanced at the other men around them, frowning. "Ok, not too bad. I need to get a blood sample now, is that okay?" Daniel shrugged and pushed his sleeve up, out of the way. Devon put a tourniquet on his arm and had him squeeze his fist a few times. Daniel watched the veins in his arm begin to stand out. He was dimly aware of Devon swabbing down the inside of his elbow. The doctor asked him something, but he couldn't pull his attention from the lines of blue running from his hand up his forearm. The needle prick came and went and Daniel stared, mesmerized by the sight. He felt Danny stir. He was awake again.

_Daniel? Please, don't do this._ Danny sat on Jack's bed, illuminated in a pool of light that kept the little scrabbly things away. Daniel could still hear them in the shadows. He knew they were still there, waiting.

"It's ok, Danny. Remember? Remember what Allan told us that time? I won't screw it up." Daniel touched his wrist and traced the line of his vein as far as he could up his arm. _You need to cut up your arm, not across._ Can you hear Allan, Danny? Is he there with you? Allan? Did it hurt?" Daniel started to rock slowly back and forth. "I don't want to hurt anymore."

_I don't want to hurt any more, either, Daniel. Please don't hurt us._

"I don't know what else to do, Danny. We hurt Jack and that's not allowed."

_Jack forgives us. He loves us, Daniel. Jack can make it stop hurting._ Danny patted the side of the bed and Daniel sat down next to him. He hunched over, darting quick looks over his shoulder whenever the skittering sounds from the shadows came too close. Danny put his am around Daniel and held him, rocking him in time with their body. _It's going to be hard, Daniel, but we need to let Jack help. Look at his face._ They shared the use of their eyes long enough to see Jack's shuttered expression. _He's hurting, Daniel. Not because of what we did to him, but because of what we're doing to ourselves. We need to let him help. He needs us to need his help. Please Daniel._

"I can't, Danny. It's too hard. It hurts too much." Danny held him tight and it almost felt as if he were holding him in the flesh and not just in their mind. "Danny?" Daniel was losing sight of where he was. "Danny? What's going to happen to me?" A hand stroked their hair. Someone whispered softly to them, but Daniel couldn't make it out. "Am I going to have to go be in the dark?" Daniel huddled as close to Danny as he could. "You know what happens in the dark. Don't make me go back. I'll be good."

_Shh, Daniel, it's okay. You don't ever have to stay in the dark. I'd never do that to you._ He patted the bed. _See? It's light here. You can rest for a while. I'll let Jack know you're okay._ Daniel nodded and let his other self guide him under the covers.

_It's not going to get dark? You promise, Danny?_

"I promise, Daniel. It won't be dark. Sleep now." Daniel heard Danny's voice murmur to him. He felt Danny share the sensation of being held in Jack's arms.

_Maybe Jack doesn't hate us after all._ Daniel slipped into slumber and dreamed of sun sparkling off water and Jack smiling by his side and the shadows that stalked him slunk back to where they came from.

* * *

"I don't know what else to do, Danny. We hurt Jack and that's not allowed." Daniel sounded lost, bereft. Jack sat terrified as he watched his best friend, his lover, falling apart in front of him. Images flashed through Jack's mind. Daniel crying in a storeroom, standing on the wrong side of his balcony railing, cowering in the corner of a padded cell, in restraints while a dozen strangers spoke with his voice. Jack retreated deeper into his training, burying his emotions. It wouldn't help Daniel for him to lose it, too. Daniel needed him to be strong.

"Caruthers," Jack kept his voice professional, "what's happening here?"

"I've read of these cases, before. Sometimes the first dosage is too strong and the mind can't handle the rapid changes in brain chemistry. The dissociation is rare, but not unknown. We've never been able to figure out why it happens, but now, I'd say this is something caused by the chemicals we identified in Lord Cascadia's blood. Given his break down a few days ago, I'd say they're probably at fault here, too." His forehead creased in thought. "In his case it was probably a gradual buildup. They must not metabolize as fast at the rest. Maybe they accrete in the brain. I just don't know enough about them to be certain! We'll probably have to get him back to your infirmary for proper treatment." Caruthers looked worried. Jack hated it when doctors looked worried. They were supposed to know this stuff.

"Bottom line, Doc. What can you do?" Jack's resolve to deal with this as Daniel's team leader warred with his need to pull his lover into his arms.

"Sedate him. Let him rest. Let his body metabolize the drugs as much as possible. See how he is when he wakes up. Even one overdose shouldn't do permanent damage." Devon set about preparing another syringe. When he was finished, he looked directly at Jack. "You must remember, though, he will still feel guilty. Knowing Lord Cascadia as I do, I don't think that's drug induced. Ridding his body of the drug isn't going to make this all go away."

"I can't, Danny. It's too hard. It hurts too much." Daniel was muttering to himself, to the other self that had appeared earlier. That chilled Jack more than anything else. He sounded so lost, so alone. Jack couldn't stand it. His career was over anyway; he'd screwed up as team leader from the moment this rollercoaster ride started. One thing Jack was determined not to screw up at was being there for Daniel. He shifted around and pulled Daniel into his arms, taking over the comforting rocking motion.

"It's okay, love. I'm here. You're going to be fine." Jack rubbed his arms and back, pressing kisses into his hair, wishing he could find a way to get through to the confused man in his arms.

"Danny? Danny? What's going to happen to me?" Daniel continued his conversation with himself. He sounded so lost, it was the only word that fit. Jack ran his hand through Daniel's hair and began to pet him. It seemed to comfort him, so he continued.

"It's okay, babe. The doc here's going to give you something to help you sleep. Everything will look better after you sleep." Jack prayed to a god he wasn't sure existed that he wasn't lying.

"Am I going to have to go be in the dark?" Jack's thoughts grew dark as he heard the plaintive childish tone. His imagination supplied all sorts of scenarios that might have led to Daniel's plea to not be in the dark. None of them boded well for whomever in his lover's past was responsible for it.

"You know what happens in the dark. Don't make me go back. I'll be good."

"No dark, Daniel. It's light in here and I'll keep the lights on while you sleep. I promise, love, no dark." Jack blinked at the change of name. Daniel's body relaxed some, settling more easily in his arms. 'Danny' sounded more like _his_ Daniel, but Jack couldn't forget his near hysteria earlier. He raised his head to look at Caruthers. "We can't put him in," he nodded to the bed, "there." Caruthers leaned up and saw the tangled sheets spotted with dried blood.

"Oh. No, you're right." Caruthers put the syringe back into his case and replaced that in his bag. "Let's get him into the sitting room, first. He can stretch out on the sofa."

"I promise, Daniel. It won't be dark. Sleep now." 'Danny' stroked Jack's chest with one finger. Jack wasn't sure who he was comforting with the motion. With a sigh, he closed his eyes as if relieved. A moment later they opened and Jack ran his knuckles along the man's cheek. Danny pressed tentatively into the caress, as if not quite sure it was allowed. "Daniel's sleeping now, Jack." Danny stared into Jack's face as if searching for something. "He thinks you hate us."

"God, Daniel, Danny," Jack quickly corrected himself. "No, love, I don't hate you, I couldn't." He hugged his lover to him and felt his body respond. He could smell the musky aroma of the man in his arms. Jack breathed deeply, savoring the scent, reveling in his reaction to it.

"I'm glad, Jack, because we love you so much." Danny reached up and wrapped his hand around the back of Jack's neck, pulling him down for a kiss. Jack opened and let his lover claim his mouth. His own needs were rising fast and what he needed was the man in his arms. Needed to give him whatever he asked. Needed to submit to his desires. The presence of the others in the room faded from Jack's mind. All that mattered was his lover. "Do you want me, Jack?"

"Yes, Danny, yes, I want you." Danny smiled brilliantly and Jack felt warmth spread through him at the sight. He had no problem belonging to this beautiful, powerful man. Daniel sat up a little straighter, pulling out of Jack's arms, but still keeping one hand on him. Jack leaned back in, hoping for another kiss, but Danny chuckled.

"Soon, love, help me up, first." Jack struggled to his feet, his aching cock and balls making the movement more difficult than it should be. He reached down and offered his hand to Danny. His lover took his hand, rested his weight on his other hand and then shifting his feet, surged upright when Jack tugged. Before Jack had a chance to close the distance between them, Danny raised the zat in his hand and shot Caruthers.

"Danny!" Jack reached for the zat, but his hand fell to his side before he finished the motion. Smiling, Danny turned to him and stroked his cheek.

"Shh, love, it's all right. He was going to keep us apart. I can't let that happen. Don't worry, he's going to be fine." Danny tugged at the belt holding Jack's robe closed. "You're over dressed, Jack." He almost purred the words out. Finally releasing the knot, the robe fell open and Danny ran a hand over Jack's body. "So beautiful, my love. Take this off and get back into bed." He fondled Jack's dripping cock, wiping the moisture up with two fingers and then raising them to his lips. He slowly licked his fingers clean and it was all Jack could do to not come at the sight. "I'll join you in a moment."

"Don't be long." Danny stroked Jack's chest once more and gently squeezed a nipple. Jack let the robe fall with a moan and turned to sit on the bed as Daniel turned away. He scooted onto it, keeping his lover in sight at all times. For some reason he thought they shouldn't be doing this, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember why. The sheets smelled like sex, smelled like his lover. Jack felt high on the scent. He watched as Danny approached Jose, his body moving seductively. Danny held out his empty hand.

"You don't need that anymore, Jose." His voice was as seductive as his body language. Jose hesitated for just a moment, then handed it to him. Daniel tucked one zat in the back of his pants and held the other one as he took Jose in his arms. "Thank you, sweetheart." Danny pulled him into a passionate kiss and Jack felt a surge of desire. Intellectually he knew his lover kissing someone else should bother him, but all he could feel was how beautiful they were together. "Sweetheart, I need you to secure Devon." Jose nodded looking dazed. "Be gentle with him, I don't want him hurt, but make sure he can't get away." Jose stumbled away nearly knocking Ian down.

Ian looked almost as dazed as Jose had. Danny gestured for the smaller man to come to him. Ian's steps were hesitant at first, but grew more confident the closer he got to Danny. Jose returned with his hands full of belts and scarves and began tying up Caruthers in a manner similar to how he'd secured the Goa'uld. "Sweet Ian, I was hoping you wouldn't be difficult." Danny ran a hand through Ian's hair and pulled him close. He kissed him with the same passion he'd bestowed on Jose, but not, to Jack's mind, the same Danny shared with him. When Danny released him from the kiss, Ian's lips were swollen and his eyes looked glazed. "Dear heart, I need you do to something for me." At Ian's nod, Daniel caressed his face and continued, "I need you to help Jose. I don't want our guests to be able to see or hear anything. Can you take care of that for me?"

"Yes, Daniel, I'll be happy to help you." Danny frowned for a moment at the name, but then relaxed. Jack made a mental note not to use the wrong name. He didn't want that frown directed at him. _Daniel's hot when he frowns._ The thought came and went and faded from Jack's mind. Ian leaned into the caress like a cat when Daniel ran his hand through the smaller man's hair.

"Good Ian, I'm glad. Go now, help Jose. Don't worry little one, it's going to be okay." Ian smiled and nodded before heading toward the dressing room. Danny watched him go, then looked over at Jose.

"Danny?" Jack's voice cracked on the name. He needed him and he needed him _ now_.

"I know, baby, just a moment more." Danny smiled at him, then pulled the second zat out from under his shirt and dropped it on the floor. He pointed the one in his hand at it and with three quick bursts the weapon was gone. Jack watched as his lover observed the other two men's work. He wanted to touch himself, but remembered that his lover didn't like that. He fisted his hands in the sheets, instead, and waited. He watched Danny and Danny watched them, smiling a little hungrily now. When they finished he beckoned to them and when they reached him, he wrapped his arms around them both and pulled them to him. The hand still holding the zat ran up and down Jose's back. The other one squeezed Ian's ass. He kissed them both quickly then stepped away, laughing. "Your Daniel has an embarrassment of riches." He gestured for them to go to the bed then set the zat down on the little table sitting next to one of the armchairs and walked over to sit next to Jack on the bed.

"Danny, please." Jack reached for his lover who pulled him to lean back against his chest. Together they faced the other men. Jose had put his arm around Ian and was nuzzling the side of his face. Danny ran his hands over Jack's chest and nibbled harshly at his neck.

"Soon, baby, but I need to see to our guests." Jack moaned as Danny shifted positions, settling back against the headboard. Once still, he pulled Jack back against his chest, his hands still roaming over Jack's flushed body. Jack closed his eyes and let his head fall back to rest on Danny's shoulder, rubbing his face into the other man's neck, feeling his lover's hard cock through Danny's pants, smelling his unique scent. "Aren't they beautiful together, love?" Jack opened his eyes at the question and watched Lord Daniel's consorts holding each other. He got the impression they were putting themselves on display for Danny. His cock jumped at the thought.

"Yes, Danny, beautiful." Jack twisted around just a little to see the man holding him. "But not as beautiful as you." Jack's voice was low and hungry. He'd waited and waited and hoped his lover wouldn't make him wait much longer.

"Sweet Jack." Danny whispered in Jack's ear before nibbling on his earlobe. "I can't wait to have you again." Jack shivered at the soft, hungry voice in his ear.

"Please, love, please, don't make me wait any longer." Danny laughed lightly into his ear and ran a finger the length of Jack's cock.

"Jose? Ian?" The men drew their attention away from each other and back to Danny. "Show me how beautiful you are all over." As the other men began to take off their clothes, Danny continued mapping Jack's skin. "Watch them, love." Jack kept his eyes glued to the stripping men, panting with need. He watched as Jose's chest appeared out from under his shirt and moaned at the memory of that solid body pressing him against the wall. Danny's fingers skirted the bandages he found, traced the edges of unbandaged bites and around bruises. Fingers danced lightly over his cock and tweaked his nipples. The mix of pleasure and pain drove Jack wild and he wasn't sure how much more he could take before he lost it completely. This Danny was so different from the frenzied man from the night before. Jack was drowning in lust and no longer had the presence of mind to consider why. Fully nude now, Ian and Jose looked to Danny as if for instructions and Jack felt him nod. "Your Daniel lets you play, doesn't he." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes, he does." Jose's voice was nearly a growl.

"He likes it when, when we spend time together." Ian was panting. They were both as hard as Jack. Ian's fair chest and stomach were flushed pink with arousal, his cock nearly purple. Jose's darker complexion didn't show it as much, but his eyes were black and his heavy cock was just as dark and full. Danny nudged Jack onto the bed and stood, beginning to remove his own clothes. He nodded to the empty side of the bed.

"Show me." Ian crawled onto the bed and settled there on his back, his legs open, cock standing almost straight up. Jose settled on top of him and they began to touch and kiss passionately.

"Not too fast, boys. Make it last. None of you come before I do, is that understood?" Daniel finished shucking his clothes and kneeled on the bed next to Jack.

"Yes, Danny." Jose gasped his answer. Ian merely nodded. Danny looked down at Jack. Jack licked his lips and nodded, he remembered that rule.

"My baby already knows that, don't you baby?" Jack smiled, glowing with the praise. "No penetration, either of you. That's mine." Twin moans of frustration answered him. "Would you like to see them suck each other, baby?"

"Yes! God, yes, Danny!" Jack could barely form the words at all. He wanted those cocks in his mouth, or their mouths on him, but knew better than to ask. Danny wanted him to watch, so he'd watch.

"You heard my baby, boys. Jose, turn around. I want to see each of you with a cock in your mouth." Danny put his lips next to Jack's ear and whispered. "Would you like to have one of them suck you, baby? Suck you while I fuck you again?" Jack gasped and closed his eyes, trying hard not to come yet. He couldn't speak, nodding would have to do. "Watch them, love, you get to choose." Jack turned his head to get a better view of Ian. Jose's larger bulk hid most of what he was doing, so Jack concentrated on the smaller man while Danny licked and nibbled and rubbed Jack's body. Ian had angled his head, using a pillow for support and was taking Jose almost completely down his throat. Jack thought he might just die if he had that mouth on him while Danny was inside him, but he didn't care. He vaguely noticed when Danny's touches stopped and then something slick and hard probed his sore ass. "Open for me, baby. I need to prepare you." Pain and pleasure flowed and blended in the haze of lust shrouding Jack's mind. All he knew was Danny's fingers opening him, his seductive voice whispering all the things he was going to do to Jack and Ian's mouth working the cock pumping slowly in and out of it.

"Danny!" Jack gasped when Danny's fingers hit his prostate. "Love, I can't hold out any more."

"Shh, baby, yes you can. I'll help you." He withdrew his fingers and firmly squeezed the base of Jack's cock. Jack groaned loudly in frustration as he felt himself retreat from his impending orgasm. Danny leaned over him, claiming his mouth in a rough kiss. "You want Ian, don't you. I've been watching you watch him suck Jose." Jack nodded, unable to speak after the breath-stealing kiss. "He thinks you're hot, you know. He told me." Jack's eyes widened in surprise. Ian wanted him, too? "He looks like a good little cocksucker. I'll have to try him myself, but I'd rather have your ass than his mouth right now." Danny rose up off of Jack and sat back on his heels. He twirled a finger and Jack knew his turn was finally coming. He shifted over and got up on his knees, spreading them to give his lover space. "Good baby, just like I like it." Jack heard him slicking up his cock and felt the blunt end begin to push into him. Jack tightened for a moment at the excruciating pain of his entry into his torn ass, but Danny's whispered orders to let him in flooded his mind with pleasure and finally he had his lover exactly where he wanted him. Danny pulled back and thrust in again, moaning his own pleasure. "Ian, stop. Come over here, I want you to suck my baby now."

"Oh, god, Danny, I won't last." Jack concentrated on not coming but it wasn't a battle he thought he could win. He felt Danny shift a little and then his arms came up around Jack's shoulders and pulled him up on his knees. Ian shifted over and placed his head between Jack's thighs, opening his mouth, ready to take the cock hovering over him.

"So beautiful, isn't he, baby?" Jack nodded as Danny helped him ease back down. He gasped when he felt that talented mouth take him and there was Ian's dripping cock in his face. "Take it, Jack." Danny ordered softly. "You need to learn so you can please me." Jack eagerly sucked the head of the bobbing cock in his face. "Taste him, baby. You love it, don't you." Jack sucked the fluid leaking from Ian's cock and was answered with a moan of pleasure. The salty, bitter flavor exploded on his tongue and he craved more. Jack wondered how much more wonderful Danny would taste.

"Yes! I can't wait to taste you, love." Jack had never done this before but he eagerly sucked the head into his mouth again. As his cock was repeatedly swallowed, his respect for Ian's skill grew. Concentrating on taking in as much as he could without choking gave him something to distract him from his own pleasure. Jack felt one of Danny's hands leave his body as his lover continued to lazily fuck him. He fell into Danny's rhythm, going down as Danny thrust into him and backing off as his lover pulled back. Ian's mouth was incredible and rising out of his mental haze for a moment, Jack marveled at the feel of his cock going down the other man's throat. So tight, so incredible. He wanted to learn to do that for Danny. He ached to do everything his lover wanted from him. Dimly, he was aware of sounds. Danny must be kissing Jose. The sounds stopped and Danny's pace sped up. Jack's balls were tight and aching with the need for release. Danny was slamming into him now, like he had the night before. Powerful, demanding, almost brutal. With one final deep thrust, Jack felt Danny let go inside him. His lover roared, hands gripping Jack hard. Jack couldn't take any more and he, too, found his release deep in Ian's throat. He was rewarded by a flood erupting into his own mouth and he swallowed as much as he could.

"Ian, love, come here." Danny pulled out of Jack and Jack gasped at the renewed pain. "Stay there, Jack, I need you to do something for me." Jack felt the bed shift and glanced over his shoulder to see that Danny had gotten off the bed. Ian shifted out from under Jack with difficulty, his arms and legs didn't seem to want to obey his body. Jack helped as much as he could, but gratefully rested his head on his arms as soon as he was able. "Jose, sweetheart, go sit against the headboard. Jack is going to suck you for me." Jack's thoughts were a jumble. He wanted to just go to sleep, but Danny's voice stirred something deep within and he knew he'd do as he was told. More, he knew he _wanted_ to do what he was told. If Danny had ordered the other men to fuck him, Jack would have gotten hard and eagerly spread his legs. A memory tugged at his mind, but it was gone as soon as he felt Jose's hands on his shoulders, easing him upward so he could get into position. Jack glanced to the side and saw Ian lying on his side next to them. "Watch them, Ian. You can touch if you like. In fact, get up on your knees and kiss Jose. I don't want him to feel left out." Jack took the head of Jose's bobbing cock in his mouth. His taste was different from Ian's but still wonderful.

"Ahhh," Jose moaned out loud. Jack felt his cock begin to fill again. The bed behind him dipped and hands began to caress his ass. His cock grew harder. Danny was back with him. He sucked hard and was rewarded with hands gripping his head, directing him.

"Good, Jose, Jack's new at this. Teach him." Jack felt his arousal growing. Danny licked his ass, cleaning him as he'd done the night before. Jack moaned in pleasure around the cock in his mouth and Jose responded with his own muffled moan. "I love tasting myself on you, baby. I can't wait to taste myself on them, too." Jack felt the bed shift again and Danny's warmth retreated. He sucked harder, running his tongue along the underside of Jose's cock just as Ian had done to him. Suddenly, the unmistakable whine of a zat interrupted them. Danny cried out and collapsed landing on Jack's back. He choked as Jose's cock was shoved down his throat and then it was shrinking and falling out of his mouth. Jack struggled to turn and see to Danny. Jack shifted and felt his unconscious lover slide to the bed next to him. He reached out and touched his face, trying to make sense of what had happened. Jose and Ian looked as shocked and confused as Jack felt. They all reached for Danny, touching him and each other, their previous aroused states fading.

"My apologies for interrupting, gentlemen, but I fear I couldn't, in good conscience, let this continue." Jack pulled Danny into his arms and was cuddling the unconscious man. He turned his head just as Ian's incredulous voice responded to their unwelcome visitor.

"Beecham? What have you done!"

"Protected my lord's household, sir, just as you would have done had circumstances been different." Beecham looked calm and cool as if he zatted people every day. Jack wanted to stay with Danny, wanted to be with him, wanted to feel owned by him, but the feeling was fading and he knew he had to get away. Jack's mind started clearing as his lust faded. Someone tugged at his arm, and he found Jose pulling him off the bed and handing him the robe he'd been wearing.

"That's what you meant earlier." Jack couldn't look anyone in the face. His shame from before was back with a vengeance. What had he done? Jose's hand gripped his shoulder. Jack didn't know if he wanted to hug the man or slug him.

"Yes, that's exactly what we meant." Jose sighed and Jack caught his headshake out of the corner of his eye. "It was different this time, though. Stronger. Even stronger than with our Daniel. Did you feel it?" Jack nodded, not trusting his voice. He should be angry right now, that's generally how he'd react to something like this. _Yeah, like this happens so often._

"It was different. I couldn't resist him at all." Ian sounded worried. Jack looked up at him. His need for answers overcame his twisted emotions.

"Why? Why was it different this time?" Jack looked to Ian who was sitting in one of the armchairs, having gotten back into his pants. "You're the experts, why was it different?" Ian sat for a moment, looking thoughtful.

"Sirs, I really must insist that one of you release Lord Jackson and Doctor Caruthers." Beecham's calm voice cut through the silence.

"NO!" Jack shouted and took a step toward the servant, who raised his zat and pointed it at Jack. "I mean, Caruthers, sure, we need him, but we don't need _him_." Jack jabbed two fingers at the Goa'uld. "That would be a very bad idea."

"And why would that be, sir?" Jack had to admit, the old man had a cool head. He suddenly wondered just what _he'd_ done during the invasion. He seemed awfully comfortable with Goa'uld weaponry.

"Because, Beecham," Jose sounded tired, almost defeated. "He's Nirrti, he drugged them last night." Beecham didn't bat an eye at the revelation.

"I'd heard rumors, of course, but hadn't given them much credence. There are always such stories after wars."

"Rumors? There were rumors? No one thought this was worth _sharing_?" Jack glared at the others.

"Jack, you wouldn't believe all the nonsense that's been going around since the invasion. A lot of us have had more important problems to worry about than wild stories." Jack started to argue the point, but gave it up. He was right, there were more important things to deal with. Jose settled on the arm of Ian's chair and put his arm around his husband. Jack had no doubt now that that's how they saw each other. Even his muddled brain had recognized the connection between the two men. "Dios, how are we going to tell Daniel?"

"Don't worry about it, guys." They all looked at Jack in surprise. He headed over to untie Caruthers, raising his hands as he passed Beecham. He made quick work of the bindings, admiring the skill that had gone into securing the man without leaving marks. He began with Caruthers' face, "There are ways of getting a snake out and leaving the host alive." Anything the doctor was planning to say about his impromptu kidnapping died when he heard Jack's statement.

"There are? What? How? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Jack finished freeing the man as he spoke.

"Cuz we're all having a really crappy day, Caruthers and I've kinda had other things on my mind, okay?" Jack stood up slowly, his knees creaking with the strain and his ass screaming in agony. The doctor must have seen his grimace of pain because he scrambled to his feet and started to lead Jack to the bed. He stopped, his mouth falling open when he saw Danny's nude body on the bed.

"What happened?"

"Oh, y'know, Danny was in mind for a little orgy before lunch." Jack looked at the clock. They'd missed their scheduled check in. Another thought came to him. It was after noon and he wasn't hungry. He hadn't eaten since the night before but he wasn't hungry at all. He looked over to the bearing men across the room. "Hey! I should be hungry. You guys hungry?" They both shook their heads.

"It's the drugs, Jack." Jose leaned down to kiss the top of Ian's head. "Your appetite will come back soon." Jack shrugged. That was the least of his worries.

"Doctor, are you injured?" Beecham could have been offering him coffee except for the zat in his hand.

"Yes, yes, Beecham, just fine. He," Caruthers gestured to Danny, "shot me with _ that_," he pointed to Beecham's weapon, "and the next thing I knew I couldn't move or see or hear anything." Now he glared at the other three men in the room.

"Devon, he told us to do it. We couldn't resist him." Ian still had that thoughtful look on his face. "Devon, what do you know about disassociation?" Devon had retrieved his bag and pulled out the syringe he'd prepared earlier. Moving Danny to the sofa would have to wait. They couldn't afford for him to wake up anytime soon.

"It's a defense mechanism. Prior to the invasion, there was serious debate if it was truly a personality disorder or not. Since the start of the paternal gestation program, too many cases have presented themselves and been well-documented for there to be any doubt." He deftly injected Danny just as the other man was starting rouse. Danny quieted quickly and Jack helped the doctor rearrange him more comfortably in the bed. Jack pulled the covers up and tucked them around his shoulders to keep him warm. Giving in to a rush of tenderness, he gently brushed his hand through Danny's, Daniel's hair but resisted the urge to kiss him. Things were still too raw, too confusing.

"How does this help us, doc?" Jack hadn't felt anything strange from being close to his lover, just what he thought was his normal desire to be close to him. The drugs must be wearing off some since he'd still been highly aware of his lover earlier even when Daniel had been asleep. He settled gingerly on the bed next to him. He really needed to have Caruthers check him out. The doctor started to speak, but Ian beat him to it.

"Do the different, well, personalities retain facets of the real person or are they completely made up?" That stirred Jack's memory. Something about the year he'd been retired after Abydos. He'd moped around his new house for a couple of months after moving in. It was snowing, he was sure something had happened while it was snowing.

"In general, the new personalities take on various attributes of the original personality. This is what led to the common, if imprecise term 'split personality'." Jack reached for the memory. He'd finally gotten around to unpacking some boxes of books and found one of Sara's. He'd missed her more than he'd ever let on and he'd sat down and read it just because it had been hers.

"Sybil." The others looked at him like he'd grown another head. "Sybil. I just remembered. It's a book about a woman who had fifteen or twenty different personalities. It's supposed to be true." He shrugged and tried to remember any details from it. Mostly he remembered feeling connected to Sara. "My ex-wife loved those things."

"Ah, I see." Caruthers pulled Daniel's arm out from under the sheet and took his pulse. Jack always suspected doctors did that half the time when they didn't know what to say. He nodded to himself and replaced Daniel's arm under the covers. Ian got the doctor off the hook.

"The Daniel, um, personality was calm, _controlled_. Over controlled, if you ask me. He also seemed determined to, as he put it, _fix_ things, which sounds very much like our Daniel. He was protective, even if he wanted to take it to drastic extremes." Ian patted Jose's thigh. Jack wondered when he'd gotten dressed. A herd of Jaffa could have run through the room earlier and Jack would never have noticed. He had to get his head in the game. Ian continued, "I think _Danny_ had all the passion and desire. He didn't have _ any_ of the control because _Daniel_ had it. His pheromone production must have been on overdrive." Jack thought Ian might be on to something.

"No inhibitions." Something didn't mesh, though. "But he didn't," Jack swallowed and looked down at his hands, this was difficult to discuss at all, let alone after what had just happened. He wanted out of this room and away from these people. At that moment, he wanted away from Daniel, too. He really wanted off this rollercoaster. "He didn't hurt any of us," he faltered and shifted carefully where he sat, "well, not really. Not like last night." Jack felt his face flush. He was _not_ seeing MacKinsey, but he had the feeling he'd have to talk to someone about this. The idea left a bad taste in his mouth. _That's not an idea you're tasting, Jacky Boy._

"Daniel was controlled, but he was plotting cold blooded murder, Jack." Jose spoke with conviction. "Daniel needed both to do what he felt needed to be done. He separated the passionate side of his nature from his violent side because he'd used both to hurt you."

"That's a good description, Jose. I'm impressed." Caruthers did look rather pleased. No wonder. He hadn't had to come up with it himself. Jose squirmed a little.

"The book my girlfriend conned me into reading was called 'Shattered' something." He shrugged. "I hadn't thought about it in years until you mentioned yours." Jack shrugged back at him.

"The things we do for love." Jose and Ian both smiled at that and Jack suddenly realized that he was in deep trouble. He just knew Daniel would con him into something like that eventually, only it would probably be in Ancient. Jack looked back down at his sleeping lover. When that time came, Jack would gladly read whatever Daniel asked him to. Well, maybe not _gladly_, but he'd do it and be happy for the opportunity. He refused to consider the possibility that his lover wouldn't come out of this... whole. His personal devils were now laughing.

"He just realized it, Jose. I wonder what he'll get stuck with?" Ian poked Jose's arm playfully.

"How many languages do you know, Jack?" Jose hugged his husband as his laughter died down and he grew serious again. "He's going to be fine, Jack. You'll see. Daniel's strong, he'll get through this."

"Ha. Ha. For every book he picks for me to read, he has to go fishing for a week." He couldn't be expected to come up with anything better than that under these circumstances, but he was grateful to them for the respite. Besides, he knew Daniel would come to appreciate fishing. Who wouldn't?

"Gentlemen, about Lord Jackson." Beecham reminded them of their unfinished business. Jack scrubbed his hand through his hair and stood carefully. Right, this was still a mission. A completely FUBARed, screwed up, clusterfuck of a mission, but a mission nevertheless.

"He stays put for now. Karl, you're doing a _wonderful_ job with that zat, so why don't you keep your eye on him." Orders were easy. "Ian, why don't you go get cleaned up. Jose, stay with Karl, there and watch his six, um, his back. Oh, you know what I mean. When Ian gets back, you go do your thing and then get back here." Ian got up and headed for the door. "Wait." Ian stopped and turned around to look at him. "I need you to send a message through the mirror." He went to the table and scribbled a note to Carter then folded it then walked over to Ian and handed it to the younger man. "Just toss that through, would you?" Jack didn't really want SG3 showing up on an S&amp;R right then. Ian took the note and left, touching Jose's arm as he passed. Jose followed him for a few steps then took up a position near the door. "Doc, let's get this over with. Where do you want me?" Caruthers looked at the bed and shook his head.

"Oh, let's not." Jack stood with his arms crossed trying hard to look like he was in charge while his borrowed doctor tried to figure out where to put him to look at his ass. The first person who made a crack about aliens and anal probes was getting his jaw broken.

"Got it. How about over there?" He pointed to the table and chairs and Jack ambled back over, trying not to wince with every step. Devon disappeared into the dressing room and Jack waited while he did whatever he was doing. He returned quickly, drying his hands and then they got started.

Jack had to give the man credit, he was gentle and kept Jack's mind off what was happening by peppering him with questions about symbiote removal techniques. Not that Jack was able to answer them very well, but the usual railing about the Tok'Ra took up a lot of the time the doctor spent going over the bites on his shoulders and back. Personally, Jack preferred the idea of using the Hammer on Cimmeria. He didn't trust the Tok'Ra not to decide to keep Nirrti around for god only knew what reason. Cimmeria led to talking about the Unas, which led to Chaka. Jose had apparently been listening, because he laughed when Jack described how Daniel had managed to go from lunch to nearly adopted tribe member. Jack nearly joined him. The absurdity of going over old missions while bent over a table with a doctor's finger up his ass was getting to him.

"That explains it, Devon. Now we know how Daniel can stand being in the same room with Westridge." Caruthers chuckled as he applied a cream to Jack's damaged ass. As soon as it touched him, the pain began to recede and was gone in seconds.

"Damn, doc, what _is_ that stuff? I'll take a case!"

"I'll send you one, though I'm sure your doctors have something similar." Caruthers handed Jack his robe and started to pack up his supplies. "The anal tearing isn't as bad as I'd feared, I'd say you were very lucky, but I guess you're not feeling very lucky right now."

"No. No, I don't think _lucky_ is quite the word I'd use." _Fucked, is more like it and in more ways than one._ Jack leaned against the table, not willing to test out the effects of the medication by sitting. He was enjoying the absence of pain too much. Devon ran through the usual list of dos and don'ts for Jack and then suggested he go take a sponge bath and get dressed.

"Yes! Finally! Pants!" Jack started for the dressing room just as Ian was returning to take over from Jose. "Message get off okay?"

"Yeah, but she didn't look happy." _I bet she didn't._ Ian took over Jose's guard position, but didn't look quite as comfortable about it as the other man had. "What did you tell her?"

"Just that we were delayed but would be there in an hour." Jack turned back to where he knew his pants were waiting. They'd only been here for a little over twenty-four hours, but Jack didn't think he could afford to wait the full two days. He quickly washed as best he could and stoically ignored the fact that he'd still had traces of Ian's semen on his face and neck. Washing off dried blood was familiar, but the other was too new, too strange. It hadn't bothered him the other morning at his place. That was just him and Daniel. Jack paused with his razor poised over his cheek. Him and Daniel. He lowered his hand to the sink and stared at his reflection. Would there even _be_ a relationship when this was over? Would Daniel ever be able to look him in the eye again knowing what Jack had let happen? Would Daniel ever want to touch him again knowing how much Jack had wanted Ian? How eagerly he'd taken Jose into his mouth? Jack lowered his eyes. _He_ couldn't even look at himself. How could he expect Daniel to want anything to do with him after this? He quickly finished shaving without looking into the mirror at all.

Dressed and with both their packs in hand, Jack came back into the bedroom. Jose was back and he was helping Caruthers get pajamas on Daniel who was still deep in his drugged sleep. Jack approved, because he was taking him home and dressed was better. Much better.

"Jack?" Ian pointed to the packs. "You're leaving?" Caruthers glanced at him then finished what he was doing.

"Yep. Got things to do, people to see." _Resignation letters to write._ "Got a stretcher handy, Doc? I don't really want to lug him down those stairs if I don't have to." A phone ringing in the sitting room interrupted Caruthers' response. Ian stepped quickly to the silent phone near the door and answered it.

"Yes?" He listened to whoever was on the other end. "Beecham?" He looked at the man still holding his zat. "Are you sure?" Ian looked confused. "Oh. Yes, of course, I'll send him down in a moment. Show the gentleman into the front parlor and see to his needs."

"Beecham, there's a Constable Carter," Jack wondered at the name. "to see you. He says he knew you in the resistance." The resistance. Jack wished he'd had money riding on that one. Carter was a very common name at home, Jack figured it had to be common here. It couldn't be. Could it? Beecham looked surprised. Jack decided this was an unexpected visit.

"Sir?"

"I'll take it." Jack took the weapon, feeling suddenly much better about things in general. Nothing like being armed. "Oh, Karl, would that, by _any_ chance be _Jacob_ Carter?" Beecham looked surprised.

"Yes, sir. We knew each other during the invasion."

"Any idea why he might be visiting today?" _And does he have a not so still, small voice in his head?_

"No, sir, though I suppose it might have to do with the other constables who were here earlier speaking with Lord Jackson." Beecham hesitated at the doorway. "Sir? How much should I tell him?" That was the question of the hour. His tendency was to keep this contained as much as possible, but if this Jacob was like their Jacob, he could be useful to these people. But with Nirrti still around, who was to say that she didn't have another snake loyal to her? This whole alternate reality crap sucked.

"How much do you trust him, Karl?" Jack was a good judge of character and his read of Beecham was that he could be trusted. And Jack did have a zat. Better a snake in the hand, so to speak.

"With my life, sir." Jack nodded, still thinking.

"Has he ever met these guys or Jonathan?" Beecham shook his head. Jack glanced at Jose. "Jose, I take it you've got more than just that shotgun around here, right?" Jose nodded and caught Ian's and the doctor's eyes. "Can you two handle a weapon?" Ian nodded and Caruthers just shrugged. "Go, I want all three of you armed." Jose started for the doorway. "Oh, get something else for Karl here, too." Jose left the room. "Karl, wait until he returns. I want everyone armed before you go."

"Sir? Constable Carter is an honorable man. He poses no threat to us." Beecham looked a little affronted at the very idea.

"I'm sure Lord Jackson's an honorable man, too." Beecham paled at the implication. Jack recalled a scene from a movie SG1 had gone to see in their first year as a team. _ 1500 years ago, everybody "knew" that the earth was the center of the universe. 500 years ago, everybody "knew" that the earth was flat. And 15 minutes ago, you "knew" that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll "know" tomorrow._ Jack had looked up the quote later and memorized it, though he'd never told anyone. It seemed a fitting thing to keep in mind in their line of work. Teal'c, on the other hand, had wanted to go to New York to recruit the Men in Black for the SGC. It had taken them weeks to convince him it wasn't real. Looking back, Jack figured he'd been pulling their legs. Aliens had the weirdest senses of humor. "How much does he know about the goold?"

"Constable Carter is very knowledgeable about them, sir. He could be of assistance." Jack nodded, thinking hard, weighing the risks. How he gained that knowledge is what worried Jack.

"Okay. When Jose gets back, he'll go down with you." Jack held up his hand when it looked like Beecham might object. "Aht! No arguments. If he's like our Jacob, you're right. He could be a big help, but if he's been compromised, I want you to have backup." Jack wanted Jacob to be Tok'Ra. He might just be human. He had to prepare for him being Goa'uld. "Call when you're on your way up. Say Lord Jackson wants to talk to him or something. Wait for me in the sitting room." Jack gestured to the sitting room. "Send Jose in here and Ian and I will come out." He turned to Caruthers. "When they get back I want you and Jose to stay in here with these two. Under _no_ circumstances are you to let _ him_," Jack pointed his zat at Nirrti, "loose. I don't care if he starts having a seizure or turns into a frog, keep him restrained, got it?"

"Got it, Jack. You know, if you go back now, you'll have to send our Daniel and Jonathan home. Doctor Frasier was adamant that they needed at least forty-eight hours for their cellular structure to stabilize."

"I know, Caruthers, but it can't be helped. Maybe in a few days we can switch again if they need more treatment." Not if Jack had anything to say about it. "Or maybe we can provide you with the medicines and equipment you need to help them here." They can _ dock_ him for it. Caruthers wasn't happy with the idea, but Jack wasn't going to be swayed on this point. Besides, Jack was going to be there to watch Nirrti get what was coming to her. Assuming he wasn't in a cell for conduct unbecoming. Someone knocked at the door and Jack gestured to Beecham to open it. He positioned himself behind the door ready to shoot whoever came through.

"Sir." Beecham opened the door wider and Jose came in, a heavy duffle bag in his hands. Jack relaxed and stepped out of his hiding place. Jose set the bag on the floor and started pulling out weapons. Jack handed Beecham the zat again then he joined Jose, looking over the arsenal. He didn't recognize any of the models, but they were similar to ones he was familiar with. A shotgun was a shotgun. There were only so many practical designs for an automatic handgun. While they distributed the weapons, Jack outlined his plan to Jose. He was banking on the man's experience. Jack wished he had his team with him. He glanced guiltily at the bed where Daniel slept. With him and whole. Jose and Beecham both took handguns they could hide under their clothes. That left a shotgun for Caruthers and an automatic rifle that reminded Jack of an odd cross between an AK-47 and his own P-90. He started to offer the zat to Ian, but watching the younger man expertly check then load the weapon he figured he should leave him what he was apparently familiar with.

"You have shot that before, right?" Ian scowled at him.

"Why is it everyone seems to think I'm some frail flower? Yes, Jack, I know how to use this." Jack backed off. Apparently this was an ongoing issue and he looked too comfortable with the weapon for Jack to want to piss him off.

"Sorry. Had to ask." The scowl deepened. "It's a colonel thing." That earned him a half- smile. "Okay, lets get this show on the road. Be careful, guys." They nodded and Beecham opened the door for Jose, closing it behind them as they left. "Ian, go make sure it looks normal out there, would you?" Now there was nothing to do but wait. Jack wandered the room. Once in a while he poked his head into the other room to check on Ian. Beecham had never finished clearing away from dinner, so Ian was dealing with that. Caruthers sat in the armchair nearest the door with his shotgun held across his lap with Nirrti in clear view. The goold hadn't moved much in the past hour or so, but Jack didn't trust that the snake didn't still have something up his sleeve. If Jack had his way, they'd take him through the Hammer still soundly trussed and on a stretcher. He couldn't think of a single reason not to.

Jack found himself standing by the bed. Daniel looked peaceful in his drugged sleep. Jack ran his hand over his face and focused on the man, trying to block out the other memories that kept intruding. He felt old. This was Daniel. _His_ Daniel but Jack was afraid he'd never be his again. Maybe, just maybe Daniel would be willing to stay his friend. It was the best he could hope for at this point. How had he put it, _A beautiful night. At least we had that._ Jack sat on the bed near his love and gave into the urge to kiss his forehead. "Yes, love, it was a beautiful night."

"He's going to be fine, Jack." Jack nodded.

"Yeah. He is." But then he'll be gone and Jack didn't know what he'd do when that happened. "How long will he be out?"

"With the dose I gave him, probably another four or five hours. Plenty of time for you to get him home." A few moments later, Caruthers broke the silence. "Doctor Frasier told me about the rules regarding homosexual relationships in your military. She didn't seem to care much for them." Jack nodded. There really wasn't anything he could say to that. "What do you think will happen when you get home?"

"Oh, if I'm lucky the general will let me retire quietly and I'll get to keep my pension. Oh, and stay out of prison. Staying out of prison would be nice." They each sat quietly after that. Each lost in their own thoughts while they waited.

Less than twenty minutes later the phone rang. Jack stood and nodded to Caruthers to answer it. "Hello?" Jack watched Nirrti wishing he was the one on the phone, but he didn't want to risk it in case it was someone other than Beecham or Jose. The rest of the household still had no idea about them. "I'll tell him. See you in a minute." Caruthers hung up. "They're on the way up. Carter was here looking for Lord Jackson." Jack swore. He could still be innocent, but the odds of him being one of Nirrti's pet snakes just went up. Jack headed for the door.

"Ian, you done? They're on their way up." Ian stopped halfway to the bedroom door and glanced around the room. Apparently satisfied with what he saw, he joined Jack in the bedroom. "If things get out of control, I need you to stay out of the way. I'll zat him and we'll take it from there."

"Do you really think he might be one of them?" Ian looked nervous for the first time since morning.

"Beats me, but I haven't survived this long by not being careful." Ian nodded, seeming to be trying to understand.

"I still have a hard time thinking of you as a soldier. Or thinking of _him_" pointing to Daniel, "doing what you do."

"Believe me, Jonathan is as big a shock to me. As for Daniel, well, Daniel does whatever Daniel wants to do. He's a survivor." Ian didn't seem to have an answer for that.

Someone knocked at the door and Jack pointed to Ian and hid behind the door again. When he was set, he nodded to the other man who opened the door and let Jose in. Jose pulled out his weapon and Jack tensed. Fortunately, he just turned it around and handed it to Ian who tucked it under his shirt. "Don't _do_ that!" Jack took a couple of deep breaths to help get his heart back down to a normal pace. "Let's do it. Be careful in here. I'm _trusting_ you, Jose."

"I'll take care of him, Jack." Jack nodded.

"Jose," Jack glanced at the man in the bed. "Keep the lights on in here." Jose nodded and Jack turned his back on the bed. He had other things to deal with now.

"After you." Ian opened the door and Jack followed him out his zat held behind his back. Beecham was busy at the sideboard and Jacob Carter's alternate self stood near the fireplace facing the bedroom door. Jack stopped a few feet inside the room and stood calmly with both hands behind his back.

"Constable Carter, very nice to meet you. I'm Lord Cascadia's Third Consort, Ian Fanning of the House of Jackson. This is a guest of his lordship's," Ian paused. Even though Carter had never met these men, it was quite likely he already knew their names, maybe their faces. "Colonel Jack O'Neill."

"O'Neill? Any relation to Lord Cascadia's First Consort?" He'd done his homework. Since neither man had moved, Jack didn't have to shake hands. He waggled his head a little.

"I suppose you could say that." Jack smiled and kept reminding himself this wasn't the Jacob he knew. Carter waited, apparently hoping for more, but Jack had said his piece.

"Ah. Will Lord Jackson be joining us, soon?" Carter was keeping a close eye on all three men. Beecham finished his task and moved to stand at the end of the sideboard, apparently waiting for orders.

"He's a little tied up at the moment." Ian raised an eyebrow in a manner worthy of Teal'c at Jack's comment. "Perhaps you could talk to us, instead." That got Carter's back up.

"My business is with his lordship alone." Jack had been afraid of this. There was only one thing to do, now.

"So, while we wait, I understand you were in the resistance with Karl, here." Jack rocked a bit on his heels.

"Yes, we worked together during the invasion. Karl proved himself to be very capable." Jack bet he had.

"Thank you, sir. It was an honor." Beecham's voice drew Carter's attention and Jack swiftly brought his zat around and shot him. Carter cried out and dropped to the floor. At that distance, the energy was more diffused, if Carter was a snake, maybe the host would have a moment to speak with them. Jack rushed over, zat at the ready. Carter's eyes flashed then returned to normal.

"Who the hell are you?" It was the host speaking. He was trembling with reaction to the blast, but had remained conscious.

"Maybe a friend. Turn over, show me the back of your neck." Ian started forward to help the man, but Jack waved him back. "Show me your neck or I'll shoot you again." Carter struggled with his uncooperative muscles, but managed to flop over onto his stomach. He bowed his head and Jack carefully reached down to move his hair out of the way. There was no entry scar. "Are you a voluntary host?" Carter moved onto his side and nodded. He was recovering rapidly.

"Yes. We're Tok'Ra." He closed his eyes for a moment.

"What's the name of your snake, your symbiote." Jack still held the zat on him. He just hoped he was dealing with the same pair as at home. He was taking a chance, but he needed Carter.

"I am Selmac." His eyes flashed and the Goa'uld tones made the other two men flinch. "You know of us?"

"Know of the Tok'Ra? Sure, but how do I know you're really Selmac?" Jack tried to remember Selmac's last host's name. Daniel would know. He realized he should have asked Carter, but who knew Jacob was going to show up. Contrary to popular belief, he did read his team's reports, but there'd been a lot of paper across his desk since Jacob joined up. It started with an 's', he was sure of it. Scaramouche or something. "What was your last host's name?" Jack mentally crossed his fingers that he'd know it when he heard it. Or that Selmac had even had the same host here.

"Her name was Sarooch. I couldn't save her from the virus." Sadness and guilt flickered across Jacob's face. "May I get up? Jacob's hip hit the edge of the hearth when we fell. I need to heal him quickly or he'll give me hell for weeks." Jack nodded and lowered the zat, but didn't put it away. He _hoped_ he was looking at an ally, but he needed more than hope.

"Sure, take a load off." Jack pointed to the armchair he'd been sitting in the night before. Once the Tok'Ra was seated, he sat in the one opposite it. Daniel's chair. The benefits of Caruthers' cream were starting wear off.

"You didn't tell us the Tok'Ra were like _them_!" Ian had his gun out and was pointing it Jacob. He looked terrified.

"Easy, Ian, just take it easy. Selmac can heal a lot of things, but I'm thinkin' a bullet in the brain would be a bit tough." Jack stood, ready to zat the younger man if he looked like he might shoot. "I didn't tell you because I didn't think you needed to know _and_ I knew it would freak you out." Ian slowly lowered his gun, not taking his eyes off Jacob. "They're the good guys, trust me. But don't call Selmac a Goa'uld, it'll piss him off." Most of them were good guys, at least. Jack really wasn't sure what he would have done had Anise been in Jacob's head. "We have a treaty with them and everything." Jacob looked startled at that. "Ian, sit down and relax. Karl? How about a stiff drink for Ian, here. I think he could use one." Jack caught sight of Beecham's face. He looked like he was about to pass out. "Pour one for yourself, while you're at it." The servant just nodded and proceeded to pour the drinks. Jack resumed his seat as Ian settled into the chair facing the fireplace.

"Who _are_ you? Did the council send you?" Jacob was speaking. Jack figured Selmac was hard at work on their bad hip.

"I'm the guy with the zat. Tell me why you're here and we may be able to help each other." Jacob sat back still staring at Jack, but Jack didn't think he was really seeing him. He had that faraway look that told him there was a lively conversation going on between host and symbiote. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Beecham hand Ian a glass. It was empty in seconds.

"I'm here to see Lord Jackson. We were supposed to meet two nights ago, but he never showed up."

"Why were you meeting?" Jack swore that if he started giving him the run around he'd zat him again. The Tok'Ra's habit of hoarding valuable information was infuriating. Jack ignored that he'd done the same thing to the locals. That was different. He knew it was. Somehow. Jacob looked at their faces as if trying to decide how much to tell them. "Do _ not_ play your usual Tok'Ra games with me. I'm not in the mood. I need to know this and I need to know it _now_."

"The resistance never ended." Like that was a surprise to Jack. Maybe he could throw the man a curve and get him to swing at it.

"Do you know where Nirrti is?" Jack didn't let his satisfaction show. He had an advantage in that he _knew_ Jacob, one Jacob anyway. The Tok'Ra hid it well, but he saw the surprise in his face for the split second it showed.

"No. We don't."

"Is that 'we' as in the two of you in that chair or 'we' as in there are other Tok'Ra agents around?" He didn't really expect Jacob to answer that one, so he gave him a slider to swing at. "_Tell_ me it's not Anise! That woman has been nothing but trouble since the day I met her!" _Damn!_ Jacob's face told him exactly what he didn't want to hear.

"You knew Anise and Rosha?"

"Rosha? What happened to Freya?" Jacob shook his head.

"I don't know of any host name Freya. Anise's current host is named Robert." He rubbed his hands together and clasped them in his lap. "Look, you seem to know quite a bit about us. I know you're not a Goa'uld, but I have no idea who you are or why you're here. That," he pointed to Jack's BDUs, "isn't a uniform I recognize from this planet. You must have come through the chappa'ai, am I right?"

"Nope, not at all. Didn't come through the gate." Seeing his confusion at the term Jack explained. "We call it a stargate."

"You have a ship?" Jacob looked hopeful.

"No, no ship."

"Jack, just _tell_ him! You've already decided he's on our side. Just tell him." Ian had been sitting quietly, but was apparently getting as frustrated as Jacob.

"Yes, Jack just tell me." Jack couldn't help smiling a little. That sounded like their Jacob.

"Okay, but you may not believe me. Half the time I'm not really sure I believe it." Jack launched into an abbreviated version of who he was and what had happened. Jacob asked a few questions at the beginning. His eyes misted when Jack described his team but recovered and listened to everything intently.

"That's incredible. Karl?" Jacob spoke to Beecham for the first time since Jack and Ian entered the room. "Have you seen this mirror?"

"Not recently, Jacob, but I was in the room with Lord Cascadia and Doctor Jackson. Colonel O'Neill looks very much like his lordship's First Consort."

"Jonathan doesn't have as much gray. What can I say? It's Daniel's fault. Not a single gray hair when I met him. Not _one_!" Jack instantly missed Daniel's usual response to the accusation. Mostly, he just missed Daniel. It was like he was already gone.

"Where's Nirrti. We have to deal with him. We can't risk letting him go."

"He's secure for the moment, but you won't have to worry about Nirrti. We'll be taking him with us when we go." Jack stood up. Jacob and Ian joined him.

"Why would you take him with you? Do you have any idea how dangerous Nirrti is?"

"Oh, yeah, we've run into her a few times in our universe. She's dead now, though, so that won't be a problem." Jack gestured for Ian and then Jacob to precede him.

"Who killed her?" Jacob paused before following Ian.

"Some of her research subjects took care of that for us." Jack couldn't resist this part. He always got a kick out of it. "We did kill, let's see, Ra, Apophis. Had to kill him several times. Damn snake wouldn't stay dead. That bitch Hathor, Seth, Ammonet, Cronos, though it was actually Teal'c's robot double that killed him. There've been others, but I never can remember them all."

"You've been killing off System Lords?" Jacob looked scandalized. Seemed the Tok'Ra were the same no matter which universe they were from.

"It was that or let them kill us! Daniel and I kinda pissed them off when we took out Ra on Abydos." Jacob just shook his head and turned to join Ian at the bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. Jack nodded for Beecham to join them. Jose opened the door for them and they filed in. Jack raised his eyebrows at Jose who just shrugged. Jack accepted it. He probably would have listened in, too. At least they didn't have to go over it again. Jacob stopped near Nirrti, a look of hatred on his face. Jack tapped his shoulder and directed him to the bed where Caruthers was taking Daniel's pulse again.

"How's Doctor Jackson?" Jacob kept glancing back over his shoulder at the bound Goa'uld.

"He's fine. He'll sleep for a few more hours, but I can't guarantee what his condition will be when he wakes up." Caruthers shook his head. "What can you tell us about the tainted drugs?"

"Not a thing. That's Anise's area."

"Why am I not surprised?" Jack wished that particular snake was in the room, just so he could have the pleasure of zatting her, him into oblivion. "Nothing like a little collateral damage to catch a snake, um, Jacob?"

"What? You think _we_ did this?" Jacob looked shocked at the suggestion.

"Oh, come _on_! This has Tok'Ra written all over it. Anise tried to alter the virus and screwed up."

"No! It wasn't us!" That sounded suspiciously like Jacob telling the truth.

"Nirrti seemed to think we had something to do with messing up her 'experiment' as she called it. If it wasn't you and it wasn't us, then who was it? I can't believe she'd ever trust anyone enough for one of her pet snakes to have the opportunity." Just when he thought the rollercoaster was heading into the station, it took another dip.

"You're right. Nirrti never gave her lieutenants that much power." Jacob shook his head. "Damn! We've got another Goa'uld and no way to get reinforcements."

"Oh. You don't know, then." Jack loved being able to tell Tok'Ra stuff they should already know.

"Know _what_?"

"The gate's here and apparently Nirrti brought the DHD along when he showed up yesterday." Jacob looked confused. "DHD. The thingy you dial to make the gate work."

"Oh! It's here? Mel told me weeks ago that he'd sent the chappa'ai here, I've been trying to figure out an energy source for it. He never told me he even had the control unit. Where is it?"

"The gate's doing a lovely impersonation of a sundial in the backyard and Ian should know where the DHD is." Jack raised his eyebrows at Ian.

"It's in one of the storage buildings."

"I hope you know how to hook it up. I would also suggest you move it somewhere a bit more secure." Jack shivered dramatically. "Gives me the willies thinking of it just sitting there." Ian had joined Jose and Beecham, who seemed pathological about his job, was straightening up. Caruthers was writing in a journal, probably Daniel's medical file. "Look, Jacob, do you happen to have one of those healing devices on you?"

"No, I don't carry it with me." Jack sighed. It had been a long shot, but worth a try.

"Healing device?" Caruthers was as bad as Frasier.

"Don't get excited Doc, you've got to have a snake in your head to use it."

"Sir, what does it look like?" Beecham appeared at Jack's elbow making him jump.

"Karl! Don't do that!" Jack glared at the servant. "It's about yea big," he held out his palm to demonstrate the size, "and has a big red jewel thing in the middle. Fits over the hand." Beecham seemed to think for a moment then he nodded.

"I do remember seeing something like that in his lordship's collection. I helped him catalog everything Lord Jackson sent to him." Maybe that god Jack wasn't sure he believed existed was there after all.

"Is it here? Can you get it?" Beecham nodded and Jack shooed him toward the door. "Go! Hurry!" He turned to Jacob. "Can that dissipate the drugs?" Jacob's eyes flashed and Selmac answered.

"It depends on what was used. The healing device is usually used to heal physical injuries and cure illnesses. We tried to use it to cure the plague, but were unsuccessful. I have used it to heal the damage caused by poisons, but without knowing more about the chemicals involved, I cannot be sure it would work."

"Will you try?"

"I will try." Jacob's head dipped a moment.

"We can't promise anything, but we'll give it a shot." It seemed there was another snake running around, but if Jacob could heal them, Jack had to figure things were looking up. "Colonel is it?"

"Please, just Jack. It feels weird having you be so formal." So close. So close to getting out of here. They could deal with their snake problem on their own.

"I take it you know me, the other Jacob well?" He settled down in the chair Caruthers had been in earlier, close to the door and with a clear view of Nirrti. Jack nodded.

"He's our liaison with the Tok'Ra. He and Selmac are good friends." Jack gave him a quick rundown on his Jacob then realized what he wasn't asking. "Sam Carter's the best second I've ever had." Jacob smiled ruefully.

"I can't quite picture _my_ Sammie in the Air Force."

"She _hates_ it when her dad calls her that." Jacob laughed.

"So did mine." Beecham entered the room after a quiet knock, for which Jack was grateful. Jacob looked relieved as well. The conversation was heading into deep waters and Jack was too wrung out to deal with that.

"Is this the device you requested?" Beecham pulled a healing device out of his pocket.

"Yes! Thank you Karl, I could kiss you right now!" Beecham looked a little taken aback. "But I won't. Don't worry. Jacob? Do your stuff." Jack waved him to the bed and stopped by the side of it, watching as Jacob stood over Daniel with his hands hovering over the supine man. The device activated and a golden glow began at Daniel's chest and flowed outward. For a moment, Jack was back in an isolation room and Daniel was wrapped in bandages. He blinked and the image corrected itself. Jack wasn't going to lose him again. Somehow, someway they'd make this work. Even if he could never touch him again, Daniel would be in his life. Jack wasn't going to let him go no matter what. The glow faded and Jacob lowered his arms. "Well?"

"There was some minor damage to most of his organs." Jack felt light headed. "I was able to heal that, including the areas of the brain that were involved, but he's still got traces of the chemicals you mentioned in his system. I tried to speed up their dispersal, but it's going to take some time for them to be broken down completely. I don't think there's enough left to cause any more problems, though." He shook his head. "It's difficult to tell. I've never run into them before. Selmac's guessing." He turned to the doctor. "Your sedative should wear off fairly soon. I couldn't be too selective on what was being metabolized."

"Brain damage?" Jack locked his knees to keep from collapsing.

"Very minor. It might have healed on it's own with the chemicals gone. The human brain has a great capacity to rewire itself at need." He looked thoughtful. "It could account for some of the more bizarre behavior among the fertile men." He shook his head again. "I never thought I'd find myself wishing for a sarcophagus, but we're going to need a lot more hands if we're going to be able to heal every damaged man on this planet."

"You'd do that?" Caruthers was almost salivating.

"Aht! You two can discuss that after we're gone. Jacob, you tired?"

"No, not especially. The damage wasn't that severe, why?"

"Cuz, I could use a turn with that." Jack looked at Caruthers who grinned in understanding.

"You? Oh!" Jack had skirted the details of what had happened to him, but Jacob was a smart man. "Of course. Sit down and I'll see what I can do." Jack handed the zat to Jose then sat carefully in one of the overstuffed armchair watching Jacob raise the device over him. Being in a sarcophagus was easy, he went in, kinda fell asleep and when it opened he felt better. This was different. There was some pain involved in being awake while the device worked, but Jack bore it stoically. At least with this he wouldn't be facing days in the infirmary. Or prison, for that matter. It was well worth the pain. Jacob finished and Jack felt better than he had in ages. Not only were his wounds healed, but also the constant dull ache in his knees was gone. He rarely noticed it anymore, but its absence was incredible.

"Very glad you happened to stop by today, Jacob." Jack stood rubbing his hand together and reveling in his newfound pain-free state. The knowledge that there was no longer a court martial in his future didn't hurt his mood, either. The way he felt now, he almost thought they could dispense with the stretcher altogether. At this rate, he could carry Daniel down to the mirror by himself. Fortunately, his good sense reminded him that if he wanted to enjoy his fixed knees for a while longer, he shouldn't be lugging more than his own body weight down long flights of stairs if he didn't have to. "So, how do we carry two men down the stairs without the rest of the household seeing us? Suggestions?"


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't know what else to do, Danny. We hurt Jack and that's not allowed." Daniel sounded lost, bereft. Jack sat terrified as he watched his best friend, his lover, falling apart in front of him. Images flashed through Jack's mind. Daniel crying in a storeroom, standing on the wrong side of his balcony railing, cowering in the corner of a padded cell, in restraints while a dozen strangers spoke with his voice. Jack retreated deeper into his training, burying his emotions. It wouldn't help Daniel for him to lose it, too. Daniel needed him to be strong.

"Caruthers," Jack kept his voice professional, "what's happening here?"

"I've read of these cases, before. Sometimes the first dosage is too strong and the mind can't handle the rapid changes in brain chemistry. The dissociation is rare, but not unknown. We've never been able to figure out why it happens, but now, I'd say this is something caused by the chemicals we identified in Lord Cascadia's blood. Given his break down a few days ago, I'd say they're probably at fault here, too." His forehead creased in thought. "In his case it was probably a gradual buildup. They must not metabolize as fast at the rest. Maybe they accrete in the brain. I just don't know enough about them to be certain! We'll probably have to get him back to your infirmary for proper treatment." Caruthers looked worried. Jack hated it when doctors looked worried. They were supposed to know this stuff.

"Bottom line, Doc. What can you do?" Jack's resolve to deal with this as Daniel's team leader warred with his need to pull his lover into his arms.

"Sedate him. Let him rest. Let his body metabolize the drugs as much as possible. See how he is when he wakes up. Even one overdose shouldn't do permanent damage." Devon set about preparing another syringe. When he was finished, he looked directly at Jack. "You must remember, though, he will still feel guilty. Knowing Lord Cascadia as I do, I don't think that's drug induced. Ridding his body of the drug isn't going to make this all go away."

"I can't, Danny. It's too hard. It hurts too much." Daniel was muttering to himself, to the other self that had appeared earlier. That chilled Jack more than anything else. He sounded so lost, so alone. Jack couldn't stand it. His career was over anyway; he'd screwed up as team leader from the moment this rollercoaster ride started. One thing Jack was determined not to screw up at was being there for Daniel. He shifted around and pulled Daniel into his arms, taking over the comforting rocking motion.

"It's okay, love. I'm here. You're going to be fine." Jack rubbed his arms and back, pressing kisses into his hair, wishing he could find a way to get through to the confused man in his arms.

"Danny? Danny? What's going to happen to me?" Daniel continued his conversation with himself. He sounded so lost, it was the only word that fit. Jack ran his hand through Daniel's hair and began to pet him. It seemed to comfort him, so he continued.

"It's okay, babe. The doc here's going to give you something to help you sleep. Everything will look better after you sleep." Jack prayed to a god he wasn't sure existed that he wasn't lying.

"Am I going to have to go be in the dark?" Jack's thoughts grew dark as he heard the plaintive childish tone. His imagination supplied all sorts of scenarios that might have led to Daniel's plea to not be in the dark. None of them boded well for whomever in his lover's past was responsible for it.

"You know what happens in the dark. Don't make me go back. I'll be good."

"No dark, Daniel. It's light in here and I'll keep the lights on while you sleep. I promise, love, no dark." Jack blinked at the change of name. Daniel's body relaxed some, settling more easily in his arms. 'Danny' sounded more like _his_ Daniel, but Jack couldn't forget his near hysteria earlier. He raised his head to look at Caruthers. "We can't put him in," he nodded to the bed, "there." Caruthers leaned up and saw the tangled sheets spotted with dried blood.

"Oh. No, you're right." Caruthers put the syringe back into his case and replaced that in his bag. "Let's get him into the sitting room, first. He can stretch out on the sofa."

"I promise, Daniel. It won't be dark. Sleep now." 'Danny' stroked Jack's chest with one finger. Jack wasn't sure who he was comforting with the motion. With a sigh, he closed his eyes as if relieved. A moment later they opened and Jack ran his knuckles along the man's cheek. Danny pressed tentatively into the caress, as if not quite sure it was allowed. "Daniel's sleeping now, Jack." Danny stared into Jack's face as if searching for something. "He thinks you hate us."

"God, Daniel, Danny," Jack quickly corrected himself. "No, love, I don't hate you, I couldn't." He hugged his lover to him and felt his body respond. He could smell the musky aroma of the man in his arms. Jack breathed deeply, savoring the scent, reveling in his reaction to it.

"I'm glad, Jack, because we love you so much." Danny reached up and wrapped his hand around the back of Jack's neck, pulling him down for a kiss. Jack opened and let his lover claim his mouth. His own needs were rising fast and what he needed was the man in his arms. Needed to give him whatever he asked. Needed to submit to his desires. The presence of the others in the room faded from Jack's mind. All that mattered was his lover. "Do you want me, Jack?"

"Yes, Danny, yes, I want you." Danny smiled brilliantly and Jack felt warmth spread through him at the sight. He had no problem belonging to this beautiful, powerful man. Daniel sat up a little straighter, pulling out of Jack's arms, but still keeping one hand on him. Jack leaned back in, hoping for another kiss, but Danny chuckled.

"Soon, love, help me up, first." Jack struggled to his feet, his aching cock and balls making the movement more difficult than it should be. He reached down and offered his hand to Danny. His lover took his hand, rested his weight on his other hand and then shifting his feet, surged upright when Jack tugged. Before Jack had a chance to close the distance between them, Danny raised the zat in his hand and shot Caruthers.

"Danny!" Jack reached for the zat, but his hand fell to his side before he finished the motion. Smiling, Danny turned to him and stroked his cheek.

"Shh, love, it's all right. He was going to keep us apart. I can't let that happen. Don't worry, he's going to be fine." Danny tugged at the belt holding Jack's robe closed. "You're over dressed, Jack." He almost purred the words out. Finally releasing the knot, the robe fell open and Danny ran a hand over Jack's body. "So beautiful, my love. Take this off and get back into bed." He fondled Jack's dripping cock, wiping the moisture up with two fingers and then raising them to his lips. He slowly licked his fingers clean and it was all Jack could do to not come at the sight. "I'll join you in a moment."

"Don't be long." Danny stroked Jack's chest once more and gently squeezed a nipple. Jack let the robe fall with a moan and turned to sit on the bed as Daniel turned away. He scooted onto it, keeping his lover in sight at all times. For some reason he thought they shouldn't be doing this, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember why. The sheets smelled like sex, smelled like his lover. Jack felt high on the scent. He watched as Danny approached Jose, his body moving seductively. Danny held out his empty hand.

"You don't need that anymore, Jose." His voice was as seductive as his body language. Jose hesitated for just a moment, then handed it to him. Daniel tucked one zat in the back of his pants and held the other one as he took Jose in his arms. "Thank you, sweetheart." Danny pulled him into a passionate kiss and Jack felt a surge of desire. Intellectually he knew his lover kissing someone else should bother him, but all he could feel was how beautiful they were together. "Sweetheart, I need you to secure Devon." Jose nodded looking dazed. "Be gentle with him, I don't want him hurt, but make sure he can't get away." Jose stumbled away nearly knocking Ian down.

Ian looked almost as dazed as Jose had. Danny gestured for the smaller man to come to him. Ian's steps were hesitant at first, but grew more confident the closer he got to Danny. Jose returned with his hands full of belts and scarves and began tying up Caruthers in a manner similar to how he'd secured the Goa'uld. "Sweet Ian, I was hoping you wouldn't be difficult." Danny ran a hand through Ian's hair and pulled him close. He kissed him with the same passion he'd bestowed on Jose, but not, to Jack's mind, the same Danny shared with him. When Danny released him from the kiss, Ian's lips were swollen and his eyes looked glazed. "Dear heart, I need you do to something for me." At Ian's nod, Daniel caressed his face and continued, "I need you to help Jose. I don't want our guests to be able to see or hear anything. Can you take care of that for me?"

"Yes, Daniel, I'll be happy to help you." Danny frowned for a moment at the name, but then relaxed. Jack made a mental note not to use the wrong name. He didn't want that frown directed at him. _Daniel's hot when he frowns._ The thought came and went and faded from Jack's mind. Ian leaned into the caress like a cat when Daniel ran his hand through the smaller man's hair.

"Good Ian, I'm glad. Go now, help Jose. Don't worry little one, it's going to be okay." Ian smiled and nodded before heading toward the dressing room. Danny watched him go, then looked over at Jose.

"Danny?" Jack's voice cracked on the name. He needed him and he needed him _ now_.

"I know, baby, just a moment more." Danny smiled at him, then pulled the second zat out from under his shirt and dropped it on the floor. He pointed the one in his hand at it and with three quick bursts the weapon was gone. Jack watched as his lover observed the other two men's work. He wanted to touch himself, but remembered that his lover didn't like that. He fisted his hands in the sheets, instead, and waited. He watched Danny and Danny watched them, smiling a little hungrily now. When they finished he beckoned to them and when they reached him, he wrapped his arms around them both and pulled them to him. The hand still holding the zat ran up and down Jose's back. The other one squeezed Ian's ass. He kissed them both quickly then stepped away, laughing. "Your Daniel has an embarrassment of riches." He gestured for them to go to the bed then set the zat down on the little table sitting next to one of the armchairs and walked over to sit next to Jack on the bed.

"Danny, please." Jack reached for his lover who pulled him to lean back against his chest. Together they faced the other men. Jose had put his arm around Ian and was nuzzling the side of his face. Danny ran his hands over Jack's chest and nibbled harshly at his neck.

"Soon, baby, but I need to see to our guests." Jack moaned as Danny shifted positions, settling back against the headboard. Once still, he pulled Jack back against his chest, his hands still roaming over Jack's flushed body. Jack closed his eyes and let his head fall back to rest on Danny's shoulder, rubbing his face into the other man's neck, feeling his lover's hard cock through Danny's pants, smelling his unique scent. "Aren't they beautiful together, love?" Jack opened his eyes at the question and watched Lord Daniel's consorts holding each other. He got the impression they were putting themselves on display for Danny. His cock jumped at the thought.

"Yes, Danny, beautiful." Jack twisted around just a little to see the man holding him. "But not as beautiful as you." Jack's voice was low and hungry. He'd waited and waited and hoped his lover wouldn't make him wait much longer.

"Sweet Jack." Danny whispered in Jack's ear before nibbling on his earlobe. "I can't wait to have you again." Jack shivered at the soft, hungry voice in his ear.

"Please, love, please, don't make me wait any longer." Danny laughed lightly into his ear and ran a finger the length of Jack's cock.

"Jose? Ian?" The men drew their attention away from each other and back to Danny. "Show me how beautiful you are all over." As the other men began to take off their clothes, Danny continued mapping Jack's skin. "Watch them, love." Jack kept his eyes glued to the stripping men, panting with need. He watched as Jose's chest appeared out from under his shirt and moaned at the memory of that solid body pressing him against the wall. Danny's fingers skirted the bandages he found, traced the edges of unbandaged bites and around bruises. Fingers danced lightly over his cock and tweaked his nipples. The mix of pleasure and pain drove Jack wild and he wasn't sure how much more he could take before he lost it completely. This Danny was so different from the frenzied man from the night before. Jack was drowning in lust and no longer had the presence of mind to consider why. Fully nude now, Ian and Jose looked to Danny as if for instructions and Jack felt him nod. "Your Daniel lets you play, doesn't he." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes, he does." Jose's voice was nearly a growl.

"He likes it when, when we spend time together." Ian was panting. They were both as hard as Jack. Ian's fair chest and stomach were flushed pink with arousal, his cock nearly purple. Jose's darker complexion didn't show it as much, but his eyes were black and his heavy cock was just as dark and full. Danny nudged Jack onto the bed and stood, beginning to remove his own clothes. He nodded to the empty side of the bed.

"Show me." Ian crawled onto the bed and settled there on his back, his legs open, cock standing almost straight up. Jose settled on top of him and they began to touch and kiss passionately.

"Not too fast, boys. Make it last. None of you come before I do, is that understood?" Daniel finished shucking his clothes and kneeled on the bed next to Jack.

"Yes, Danny." Jose gasped his answer. Ian merely nodded. Danny looked down at Jack. Jack licked his lips and nodded, he remembered that rule.

"My baby already knows that, don't you baby?" Jack smiled, glowing with the praise. "No penetration, either of you. That's mine." Twin moans of frustration answered him. "Would you like to see them suck each other, baby?"

"Yes! God, yes, Danny!" Jack could barely form the words at all. He wanted those cocks in his mouth, or their mouths on him, but knew better than to ask. Danny wanted him to watch, so he'd watch.

"You heard my baby, boys. Jose, turn around. I want to see each of you with a cock in your mouth." Danny put his lips next to Jack's ear and whispered. "Would you like to have one of them suck you, baby? Suck you while I fuck you again?" Jack gasped and closed his eyes, trying hard not to come yet. He couldn't speak, nodding would have to do. "Watch them, love, you get to choose." Jack turned his head to get a better view of Ian. Jose's larger bulk hid most of what he was doing, so Jack concentrated on the smaller man while Danny licked and nibbled and rubbed Jack's body. Ian had angled his head, using a pillow for support and was taking Jose almost completely down his throat. Jack thought he might just die if he had that mouth on him while Danny was inside him, but he didn't care. He vaguely noticed when Danny's touches stopped and then something slick and hard probed his sore ass. "Open for me, baby. I need to prepare you." Pain and pleasure flowed and blended in the haze of lust shrouding Jack's mind. All he knew was Danny's fingers opening him, his seductive voice whispering all the things he was going to do to Jack and Ian's mouth working the cock pumping slowly in and out of it.

"Danny!" Jack gasped when Danny's fingers hit his prostate. "Love, I can't hold out any more."

"Shh, baby, yes you can. I'll help you." He withdrew his fingers and firmly squeezed the base of Jack's cock. Jack groaned loudly in frustration as he felt himself retreat from his impending orgasm. Danny leaned over him, claiming his mouth in a rough kiss. "You want Ian, don't you. I've been watching you watch him suck Jose." Jack nodded, unable to speak after the breath-stealing kiss. "He thinks you're hot, you know. He told me." Jack's eyes widened in surprise. Ian wanted him, too? "He looks like a good little cocksucker. I'll have to try him myself, but I'd rather have your ass than his mouth right now." Danny rose up off of Jack and sat back on his heels. He twirled a finger and Jack knew his turn was finally coming. He shifted over and got up on his knees, spreading them to give his lover space. "Good baby, just like I like it." Jack heard him slicking up his cock and felt the blunt end begin to push into him. Jack tightened for a moment at the excruciating pain of his entry into his torn ass, but Danny's whispered orders to let him in flooded his mind with pleasure and finally he had his lover exactly where he wanted him. Danny pulled back and thrust in again, moaning his own pleasure. "Ian, stop. Come over here, I want you to suck my baby now."

"Oh, god, Danny, I won't last." Jack concentrated on not coming but it wasn't a battle he thought he could win. He felt Danny shift a little and then his arms came up around Jack's shoulders and pulled him up on his knees. Ian shifted over and placed his head between Jack's thighs, opening his mouth, ready to take the cock hovering over him.

"So beautiful, isn't he, baby?" Jack nodded as Danny helped him ease back down. He gasped when he felt that talented mouth take him and there was Ian's dripping cock in his face. "Take it, Jack." Danny ordered softly. "You need to learn so you can please me." Jack eagerly sucked the head of the bobbing cock in his face. "Taste him, baby. You love it, don't you." Jack sucked the fluid leaking from Ian's cock and was answered with a moan of pleasure. The salty, bitter flavor exploded on his tongue and he craved more. Jack wondered how much more wonderful Danny would taste.

"Yes! I can't wait to taste you, love." Jack had never done this before but he eagerly sucked the head into his mouth again. As his cock was repeatedly swallowed, his respect for Ian's skill grew. Concentrating on taking in as much as he could without choking gave him something to distract him from his own pleasure. Jack felt one of Danny's hands leave his body as his lover continued to lazily fuck him. He fell into Danny's rhythm, going down as Danny thrust into him and backing off as his lover pulled back. Ian's mouth was incredible and rising out of his mental haze for a moment, Jack marveled at the feel of his cock going down the other man's throat. So tight, so incredible. He wanted to learn to do that for Danny. He ached to do everything his lover wanted from him. Dimly, he was aware of sounds. Danny must be kissing Jose. The sounds stopped and Danny's pace sped up. Jack's balls were tight and aching with the need for release. Danny was slamming into him now, like he had the night before. Powerful, demanding, almost brutal. With one final deep thrust, Jack felt Danny let go inside him. His lover roared, hands gripping Jack hard. Jack couldn't take any more and he, too, found his release deep in Ian's throat. He was rewarded by a flood erupting into his own mouth and he swallowed as much as he could.

"Ian, love, come here." Danny pulled out of Jack and Jack gasped at the renewed pain. "Stay there, Jack, I need you to do something for me." Jack felt the bed shift and glanced over his shoulder to see that Danny had gotten off the bed. Ian shifted out from under Jack with difficulty, his arms and legs didn't seem to want to obey his body. Jack helped as much as he could, but gratefully rested his head on his arms as soon as he was able. "Jose, sweetheart, go sit against the headboard. Jack is going to suck you for me." Jack's thoughts were a jumble. He wanted to just go to sleep, but Danny's voice stirred something deep within and he knew he'd do as he was told. More, he knew he _wanted_ to do what he was told. If Danny had ordered the other men to fuck him, Jack would have gotten hard and eagerly spread his legs. A memory tugged at his mind, but it was gone as soon as he felt Jose's hands on his shoulders, easing him upward so he could get into position. Jack glanced to the side and saw Ian lying on his side next to them. "Watch them, Ian. You can touch if you like. In fact, get up on your knees and kiss Jose. I don't want him to feel left out." Jack took the head of Jose's bobbing cock in his mouth. His taste was different from Ian's but still wonderful.

"Ahhh," Jose moaned out loud. Jack felt his cock begin to fill again. The bed behind him dipped and hands began to caress his ass. His cock grew harder. Danny was back with him. He sucked hard and was rewarded with hands gripping his head, directing him.

"Good, Jose, Jack's new at this. Teach him." Jack felt his arousal growing. Danny licked his ass, cleaning him as he'd done the night before. Jack moaned in pleasure around the cock in his mouth and Jose responded with his own muffled moan. "I love tasting myself on you, baby. I can't wait to taste myself on them, too." Jack felt the bed shift again and Danny's warmth retreated. He sucked harder, running his tongue along the underside of Jose's cock just as Ian had done to him. Suddenly, the unmistakable whine of a zat interrupted them. Danny cried out and collapsed landing on Jack's back. He choked as Jose's cock was shoved down his throat and then it was shrinking and falling out of his mouth. Jack struggled to turn and see to Danny. Jack shifted and felt his unconscious lover slide to the bed next to him. He reached out and touched his face, trying to make sense of what had happened. Jose and Ian looked as shocked and confused as Jack felt. They all reached for Danny, touching him and each other, their previous aroused states fading.

"My apologies for interrupting, gentlemen, but I fear I couldn't, in good conscience, let this continue." Jack pulled Danny into his arms and was cuddling the unconscious man. He turned his head just as Ian's incredulous voice responded to their unwelcome visitor.

"Beecham? What have you done!"

"Protected my lord's household, sir, just as you would have done had circumstances been different." Beecham looked calm and cool as if he zatted people every day. Jack wanted to stay with Danny, wanted to be with him, wanted to feel owned by him, but the feeling was fading and he knew he had to get away. Jack's mind started clearing as his lust faded. Someone tugged at his arm, and he found Jose pulling him off the bed and handing him the robe he'd been wearing.

"That's what you meant earlier." Jack couldn't look anyone in the face. His shame from before was back with a vengeance. What had he done? Jose's hand gripped his shoulder. Jack didn't know if he wanted to hug the man or slug him.

"Yes, that's exactly what we meant." Jose sighed and Jack caught his headshake out of the corner of his eye. "It was different this time, though. Stronger. Even stronger than with our Daniel. Did you feel it?" Jack nodded, not trusting his voice. He should be angry right now, that's generally how he'd react to something like this. _Yeah, like this happens so often._

"It was different. I couldn't resist him at all." Ian sounded worried. Jack looked up at him. His need for answers overcame his twisted emotions.

"Why? Why was it different this time?" Jack looked to Ian who was sitting in one of the armchairs, having gotten back into his pants. "You're the experts, why was it different?" Ian sat for a moment, looking thoughtful.

"Sirs, I really must insist that one of you release Lord Jackson and Doctor Caruthers." Beecham's calm voice cut through the silence.

"NO!" Jack shouted and took a step toward the servant, who raised his zat and pointed it at Jack. "I mean, Caruthers, sure, we need him, but we don't need _him_." Jack jabbed two fingers at the Goa'uld. "That would be a very bad idea."

"And why would that be, sir?" Jack had to admit, the old man had a cool head. He suddenly wondered just what _he'd_ done during the invasion. He seemed awfully comfortable with Goa'uld weaponry.

"Because, Beecham," Jose sounded tired, almost defeated. "He's Nirrti, he drugged them last night." Beecham didn't bat an eye at the revelation.

"I'd heard rumors, of course, but hadn't given them much credence. There are always such stories after wars."

"Rumors? There were rumors? No one thought this was worth _sharing_?" Jack glared at the others.

"Jack, you wouldn't believe all the nonsense that's been going around since the invasion. A lot of us have had more important problems to worry about than wild stories." Jack started to argue the point, but gave it up. He was right, there were more important things to deal with. Jose settled on the arm of Ian's chair and put his arm around his husband. Jack had no doubt now that that's how they saw each other. Even his muddled brain had recognized the connection between the two men. "Dios, how are we going to tell Daniel?"

"Don't worry about it, guys." They all looked at Jack in surprise. He headed over to untie Caruthers, raising his hands as he passed Beecham. He made quick work of the bindings, admiring the skill that had gone into securing the man without leaving marks. He began with Caruthers' face, "There are ways of getting a snake out and leaving the host alive." Anything the doctor was planning to say about his impromptu kidnapping died when he heard Jack's statement.

"There are? What? How? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Jack finished freeing the man as he spoke.

"Cuz we're all having a really crappy day, Caruthers and I've kinda had other things on my mind, okay?" Jack stood up slowly, his knees creaking with the strain and his ass screaming in agony. The doctor must have seen his grimace of pain because he scrambled to his feet and started to lead Jack to the bed. He stopped, his mouth falling open when he saw Danny's nude body on the bed.

"What happened?"

"Oh, y'know, Danny was in mind for a little orgy before lunch." Jack looked at the clock. They'd missed their scheduled check in. Another thought came to him. It was after noon and he wasn't hungry. He hadn't eaten since the night before but he wasn't hungry at all. He looked over to the bearing men across the room. "Hey! I should be hungry. You guys hungry?" They both shook their heads.

"It's the drugs, Jack." Jose leaned down to kiss the top of Ian's head. "Your appetite will come back soon." Jack shrugged. That was the least of his worries.

"Doctor, are you injured?" Beecham could have been offering him coffee except for the zat in his hand.

"Yes, yes, Beecham, just fine. He," Caruthers gestured to Danny, "shot me with _ that_," he pointed to Beecham's weapon, "and the next thing I knew I couldn't move or see or hear anything." Now he glared at the other three men in the room.

"Devon, he told us to do it. We couldn't resist him." Ian still had that thoughtful look on his face. "Devon, what do you know about disassociation?" Devon had retrieved his bag and pulled out the syringe he'd prepared earlier. Moving Danny to the sofa would have to wait. They couldn't afford for him to wake up anytime soon.

"It's a defense mechanism. Prior to the invasion, there was serious debate if it was truly a personality disorder or not. Since the start of the paternal gestation program, too many cases have presented themselves and been well-documented for there to be any doubt." He deftly injected Danny just as the other man was starting rouse. Danny quieted quickly and Jack helped the doctor rearrange him more comfortably in the bed. Jack pulled the covers up and tucked them around his shoulders to keep him warm. Giving in to a rush of tenderness, he gently brushed his hand through Danny's, Daniel's hair but resisted the urge to kiss him. Things were still too raw, too confusing.

"How does this help us, doc?" Jack hadn't felt anything strange from being close to his lover, just what he thought was his normal desire to be close to him. The drugs must be wearing off some since he'd still been highly aware of his lover earlier even when Daniel had been asleep. He settled gingerly on the bed next to him. He really needed to have Caruthers check him out. The doctor started to speak, but Ian beat him to it.

"Do the different, well, personalities retain facets of the real person or are they completely made up?" That stirred Jack's memory. Something about the year he'd been retired after Abydos. He'd moped around his new house for a couple of months after moving in. It was snowing, he was sure something had happened while it was snowing.

"In general, the new personalities take on various attributes of the original personality. This is what led to the common, if imprecise term 'split personality'." Jack reached for the memory. He'd finally gotten around to unpacking some boxes of books and found one of Sara's. He'd missed her more than he'd ever let on and he'd sat down and read it just because it had been hers.

"Sybil." The others looked at him like he'd grown another head. "Sybil. I just remembered. It's a book about a woman who had fifteen or twenty different personalities. It's supposed to be true." He shrugged and tried to remember any details from it. Mostly he remembered feeling connected to Sara. "My ex-wife loved those things."

"Ah, I see." Caruthers pulled Daniel's arm out from under the sheet and took his pulse. Jack always suspected doctors did that half the time when they didn't know what to say. He nodded to himself and replaced Daniel's arm under the covers. Ian got the doctor off the hook.

"The Daniel, um, personality was calm, _controlled_. Over controlled, if you ask me. He also seemed determined to, as he put it, _fix_ things, which sounds very much like our Daniel. He was protective, even if he wanted to take it to drastic extremes." Ian patted Jose's thigh. Jack wondered when he'd gotten dressed. A herd of Jaffa could have run through the room earlier and Jack would never have noticed. He had to get his head in the game. Ian continued, "I think _Danny_ had all the passion and desire. He didn't have _ any_ of the control because _Daniel_ had it. His pheromone production must have been on overdrive." Jack thought Ian might be on to something.

"No inhibitions." Something didn't mesh, though. "But he didn't," Jack swallowed and looked down at his hands, this was difficult to discuss at all, let alone after what had just happened. He wanted out of this room and away from these people. At that moment, he wanted away from Daniel, too. He really wanted off this rollercoaster. "He didn't hurt any of us," he faltered and shifted carefully where he sat, "well, not really. Not like last night." Jack felt his face flush. He was _not_ seeing MacKinsey, but he had the feeling he'd have to talk to someone about this. The idea left a bad taste in his mouth. _That's not an idea you're tasting, Jacky Boy._

"Daniel was controlled, but he was plotting cold blooded murder, Jack." Jose spoke with conviction. "Daniel needed both to do what he felt needed to be done. He separated the passionate side of his nature from his violent side because he'd used both to hurt you."

"That's a good description, Jose. I'm impressed." Caruthers did look rather pleased. No wonder. He hadn't had to come up with it himself. Jose squirmed a little.

"The book my girlfriend conned me into reading was called 'Shattered' something." He shrugged. "I hadn't thought about it in years until you mentioned yours." Jack shrugged back at him.

"The things we do for love." Jose and Ian both smiled at that and Jack suddenly realized that he was in deep trouble. He just knew Daniel would con him into something like that eventually, only it would probably be in Ancient. Jack looked back down at his sleeping lover. When that time came, Jack would gladly read whatever Daniel asked him to. Well, maybe not _gladly_, but he'd do it and be happy for the opportunity. He refused to consider the possibility that his lover wouldn't come out of this... whole. His personal devils were now laughing.

"He just realized it, Jose. I wonder what he'll get stuck with?" Ian poked Jose's arm playfully.

"How many languages do you know, Jack?" Jose hugged his husband as his laughter died down and he grew serious again. "He's going to be fine, Jack. You'll see. Daniel's strong, he'll get through this."

"Ha. Ha. For every book he picks for me to read, he has to go fishing for a week." He couldn't be expected to come up with anything better than that under these circumstances, but he was grateful to them for the respite. Besides, he knew Daniel would come to appreciate fishing. Who wouldn't?

"Gentlemen, about Lord Jackson." Beecham reminded them of their unfinished business. Jack scrubbed his hand through his hair and stood carefully. Right, this was still a mission. A completely FUBARed, screwed up, clusterfuck of a mission, but a mission nevertheless.

"He stays put for now. Karl, you're doing a _wonderful_ job with that zat, so why don't you keep your eye on him." Orders were easy. "Ian, why don't you go get cleaned up. Jose, stay with Karl, there and watch his six, um, his back. Oh, you know what I mean. When Ian gets back, you go do your thing and then get back here." Ian got up and headed for the door. "Wait." Ian stopped and turned around to look at him. "I need you to send a message through the mirror." He went to the table and scribbled a note to Carter then folded it then walked over to Ian and handed it to the younger man. "Just toss that through, would you?" Jack didn't really want SG3 showing up on an S&amp;R right then. Ian took the note and left, touching Jose's arm as he passed. Jose followed him for a few steps then took up a position near the door. "Doc, let's get this over with. Where do you want me?" Caruthers looked at the bed and shook his head.

"Oh, let's not." Jack stood with his arms crossed trying hard to look like he was in charge while his borrowed doctor tried to figure out where to put him to look at his ass. The first person who made a crack about aliens and anal probes was getting his jaw broken.

"Got it. How about over there?" He pointed to the table and chairs and Jack ambled back over, trying not to wince with every step. Devon disappeared into the dressing room and Jack waited while he did whatever he was doing. He returned quickly, drying his hands and then they got started.

Jack had to give the man credit, he was gentle and kept Jack's mind off what was happening by peppering him with questions about symbiote removal techniques. Not that Jack was able to answer them very well, but the usual railing about the Tok'Ra took up a lot of the time the doctor spent going over the bites on his shoulders and back. Personally, Jack preferred the idea of using the Hammer on Cimmeria. He didn't trust the Tok'Ra not to decide to keep Nirrti around for god only knew what reason. Cimmeria led to talking about the Unas, which led to Chaka. Jose had apparently been listening, because he laughed when Jack described how Daniel had managed to go from lunch to nearly adopted tribe member. Jack nearly joined him. The absurdity of going over old missions while bent over a table with a doctor's finger up his ass was getting to him.

"That explains it, Devon. Now we know how Daniel can stand being in the same room with Westridge." Caruthers chuckled as he applied a cream to Jack's damaged ass. As soon as it touched him, the pain began to recede and was gone in seconds.

"Damn, doc, what _is_ that stuff? I'll take a case!"

"I'll send you one, though I'm sure your doctors have something similar." Caruthers handed Jack his robe and started to pack up his supplies. "The anal tearing isn't as bad as I'd feared, I'd say you were very lucky, but I guess you're not feeling very lucky right now."

"No. No, I don't think _lucky_ is quite the word I'd use." _Fucked, is more like it and in more ways than one._ Jack leaned against the table, not willing to test out the effects of the medication by sitting. He was enjoying the absence of pain too much. Devon ran through the usual list of dos and don'ts for Jack and then suggested he go take a sponge bath and get dressed.

"Yes! Finally! Pants!" Jack started for the dressing room just as Ian was returning to take over from Jose. "Message get off okay?"

"Yeah, but she didn't look happy." _I bet she didn't._ Ian took over Jose's guard position, but didn't look quite as comfortable about it as the other man had. "What did you tell her?"

"Just that we were delayed but would be there in an hour." Jack turned back to where he knew his pants were waiting. They'd only been here for a little over twenty-four hours, but Jack didn't think he could afford to wait the full two days. He quickly washed as best he could and stoically ignored the fact that he'd still had traces of Ian's semen on his face and neck. Washing off dried blood was familiar, but the other was too new, too strange. It hadn't bothered him the other morning at his place. That was just him and Daniel. Jack paused with his razor poised over his cheek. Him and Daniel. He lowered his hand to the sink and stared at his reflection. Would there even _be_ a relationship when this was over? Would Daniel ever be able to look him in the eye again knowing what Jack had let happen? Would Daniel ever want to touch him again knowing how much Jack had wanted Ian? How eagerly he'd taken Jose into his mouth? Jack lowered his eyes. _He_ couldn't even look at himself. How could he expect Daniel to want anything to do with him after this? He quickly finished shaving without looking into the mirror at all.

Dressed and with both their packs in hand, Jack came back into the bedroom. Jose was back and he was helping Caruthers get pajamas on Daniel who was still deep in his drugged sleep. Jack approved, because he was taking him home and dressed was better. Much better.

"Jack?" Ian pointed to the packs. "You're leaving?" Caruthers glanced at him then finished what he was doing.

"Yep. Got things to do, people to see." _Resignation letters to write._ "Got a stretcher handy, Doc? I don't really want to lug him down those stairs if I don't have to." A phone ringing in the sitting room interrupted Caruthers' response. Ian stepped quickly to the silent phone near the door and answered it.

"Yes?" He listened to whoever was on the other end. "Beecham?" He looked at the man still holding his zat. "Are you sure?" Ian looked confused. "Oh. Yes, of course, I'll send him down in a moment. Show the gentleman into the front parlor and see to his needs."

"Beecham, there's a Constable Carter," Jack wondered at the name. "to see you. He says he knew you in the resistance." The resistance. Jack wished he'd had money riding on that one. Carter was a very common name at home, Jack figured it had to be common here. It couldn't be. Could it? Beecham looked surprised. Jack decided this was an unexpected visit.

"Sir?"

"I'll take it." Jack took the weapon, feeling suddenly much better about things in general. Nothing like being armed. "Oh, Karl, would that, by _any_ chance be _Jacob_ Carter?" Beecham looked surprised.

"Yes, sir. We knew each other during the invasion."

"Any idea why he might be visiting today?" _And does he have a not so still, small voice in his head?_

"No, sir, though I suppose it might have to do with the other constables who were here earlier speaking with Lord Jackson." Beecham hesitated at the doorway. "Sir? How much should I tell him?" That was the question of the hour. His tendency was to keep this contained as much as possible, but if this Jacob was like their Jacob, he could be useful to these people. But with Nirrti still around, who was to say that she didn't have another snake loyal to her? This whole alternate reality crap sucked.

"How much do you trust him, Karl?" Jack was a good judge of character and his read of Beecham was that he could be trusted. And Jack did have a zat. Better a snake in the hand, so to speak.

"With my life, sir." Jack nodded, still thinking.

"Has he ever met these guys or Jonathan?" Beecham shook his head. Jack glanced at Jose. "Jose, I take it you've got more than just that shotgun around here, right?" Jose nodded and caught Ian's and the doctor's eyes. "Can you two handle a weapon?" Ian nodded and Caruthers just shrugged. "Go, I want all three of you armed." Jose started for the doorway. "Oh, get something else for Karl here, too." Jose left the room. "Karl, wait until he returns. I want everyone armed before you go."

"Sir? Constable Carter is an honorable man. He poses no threat to us." Beecham looked a little affronted at the very idea.

"I'm sure Lord Jackson's an honorable man, too." Beecham paled at the implication. Jack recalled a scene from a movie SG1 had gone to see in their first year as a team. _ 1500 years ago, everybody "knew" that the earth was the center of the universe. 500 years ago, everybody "knew" that the earth was flat. And 15 minutes ago, you "knew" that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll "know" tomorrow._ Jack had looked up the quote later and memorized it, though he'd never told anyone. It seemed a fitting thing to keep in mind in their line of work. Teal'c, on the other hand, had wanted to go to New York to recruit the Men in Black for the SGC. It had taken them weeks to convince him it wasn't real. Looking back, Jack figured he'd been pulling their legs. Aliens had the weirdest senses of humor. "How much does he know about the goold?"

"Constable Carter is very knowledgeable about them, sir. He could be of assistance." Jack nodded, thinking hard, weighing the risks. How he gained that knowledge is what worried Jack.

"Okay. When Jose gets back, he'll go down with you." Jack held up his hand when it looked like Beecham might object. "Aht! No arguments. If he's like our Jacob, you're right. He could be a big help, but if he's been compromised, I want you to have backup." Jack wanted Jacob to be Tok'Ra. He might just be human. He had to prepare for him being Goa'uld. "Call when you're on your way up. Say Lord Jackson wants to talk to him or something. Wait for me in the sitting room." Jack gestured to the sitting room. "Send Jose in here and Ian and I will come out." He turned to Caruthers. "When they get back I want you and Jose to stay in here with these two. Under _no_ circumstances are you to let _ him_," Jack pointed his zat at Nirrti, "loose. I don't care if he starts having a seizure or turns into a frog, keep him restrained, got it?"

"Got it, Jack. You know, if you go back now, you'll have to send our Daniel and Jonathan home. Doctor Frasier was adamant that they needed at least forty-eight hours for their cellular structure to stabilize."

"I know, Caruthers, but it can't be helped. Maybe in a few days we can switch again if they need more treatment." Not if Jack had anything to say about it. "Or maybe we can provide you with the medicines and equipment you need to help them here." They can _ dock_ him for it. Caruthers wasn't happy with the idea, but Jack wasn't going to be swayed on this point. Besides, Jack was going to be there to watch Nirrti get what was coming to her. Assuming he wasn't in a cell for conduct unbecoming. Someone knocked at the door and Jack gestured to Beecham to open it. He positioned himself behind the door ready to shoot whoever came through.

"Sir." Beecham opened the door wider and Jose came in, a heavy duffle bag in his hands. Jack relaxed and stepped out of his hiding place. Jose set the bag on the floor and started pulling out weapons. Jack handed Beecham the zat again then he joined Jose, looking over the arsenal. He didn't recognize any of the models, but they were similar to ones he was familiar with. A shotgun was a shotgun. There were only so many practical designs for an automatic handgun. While they distributed the weapons, Jack outlined his plan to Jose. He was banking on the man's experience. Jack wished he had his team with him. He glanced guiltily at the bed where Daniel slept. With him and whole. Jose and Beecham both took handguns they could hide under their clothes. That left a shotgun for Caruthers and an automatic rifle that reminded Jack of an odd cross between an AK-47 and his own P-90. He started to offer the zat to Ian, but watching the younger man expertly check then load the weapon he figured he should leave him what he was apparently familiar with.

"You have shot that before, right?" Ian scowled at him.

"Why is it everyone seems to think I'm some frail flower? Yes, Jack, I know how to use this." Jack backed off. Apparently this was an ongoing issue and he looked too comfortable with the weapon for Jack to want to piss him off.

"Sorry. Had to ask." The scowl deepened. "It's a colonel thing." That earned him a half- smile. "Okay, lets get this show on the road. Be careful, guys." They nodded and Beecham opened the door for Jose, closing it behind them as they left. "Ian, go make sure it looks normal out there, would you?" Now there was nothing to do but wait. Jack wandered the room. Once in a while he poked his head into the other room to check on Ian. Beecham had never finished clearing away from dinner, so Ian was dealing with that. Caruthers sat in the armchair nearest the door with his shotgun held across his lap with Nirrti in clear view. The goold hadn't moved much in the past hour or so, but Jack didn't trust that the snake didn't still have something up his sleeve. If Jack had his way, they'd take him through the Hammer still soundly trussed and on a stretcher. He couldn't think of a single reason not to.

Jack found himself standing by the bed. Daniel looked peaceful in his drugged sleep. Jack ran his hand over his face and focused on the man, trying to block out the other memories that kept intruding. He felt old. This was Daniel. _His_ Daniel but Jack was afraid he'd never be his again. Maybe, just maybe Daniel would be willing to stay his friend. It was the best he could hope for at this point. How had he put it, _A beautiful night. At least we had that._ Jack sat on the bed near his love and gave into the urge to kiss his forehead. "Yes, love, it was a beautiful night."

"He's going to be fine, Jack." Jack nodded.

"Yeah. He is." But then he'll be gone and Jack didn't know what he'd do when that happened. "How long will he be out?"

"With the dose I gave him, probably another four or five hours. Plenty of time for you to get him home." A few moments later, Caruthers broke the silence. "Doctor Frasier told me about the rules regarding homosexual relationships in your military. She didn't seem to care much for them." Jack nodded. There really wasn't anything he could say to that. "What do you think will happen when you get home?"

"Oh, if I'm lucky the general will let me retire quietly and I'll get to keep my pension. Oh, and stay out of prison. Staying out of prison would be nice." They each sat quietly after that. Each lost in their own thoughts while they waited.

Less than twenty minutes later the phone rang. Jack stood and nodded to Caruthers to answer it. "Hello?" Jack watched Nirrti wishing he was the one on the phone, but he didn't want to risk it in case it was someone other than Beecham or Jose. The rest of the household still had no idea about them. "I'll tell him. See you in a minute." Caruthers hung up. "They're on the way up. Carter was here looking for Lord Jackson." Jack swore. He could still be innocent, but the odds of him being one of Nirrti's pet snakes just went up. Jack headed for the door.

"Ian, you done? They're on their way up." Ian stopped halfway to the bedroom door and glanced around the room. Apparently satisfied with what he saw, he joined Jack in the bedroom. "If things get out of control, I need you to stay out of the way. I'll zat him and we'll take it from there."

"Do you really think he might be one of them?" Ian looked nervous for the first time since morning.

"Beats me, but I haven't survived this long by not being careful." Ian nodded, seeming to be trying to understand.

"I still have a hard time thinking of you as a soldier. Or thinking of _him_" pointing to Daniel, "doing what you do."

"Believe me, Jonathan is as big a shock to me. As for Daniel, well, Daniel does whatever Daniel wants to do. He's a survivor." Ian didn't seem to have an answer for that.

Someone knocked at the door and Jack pointed to Ian and hid behind the door again. When he was set, he nodded to the other man who opened the door and let Jose in. Jose pulled out his weapon and Jack tensed. Fortunately, he just turned it around and handed it to Ian who tucked it under his shirt. "Don't _do_ that!" Jack took a couple of deep breaths to help get his heart back down to a normal pace. "Let's do it. Be careful in here. I'm _trusting_ you, Jose."

"I'll take care of him, Jack." Jack nodded.

"Jose," Jack glanced at the man in the bed. "Keep the lights on in here." Jose nodded and Jack turned his back on the bed. He had other things to deal with now.

"After you." Ian opened the door and Jack followed him out his zat held behind his back. Beecham was busy at the sideboard and Jacob Carter's alternate self stood near the fireplace facing the bedroom door. Jack stopped a few feet inside the room and stood calmly with both hands behind his back.

"Constable Carter, very nice to meet you. I'm Lord Cascadia's Third Consort, Ian Fanning of the House of Jackson. This is a guest of his lordship's," Ian paused. Even though Carter had never met these men, it was quite likely he already knew their names, maybe their faces. "Colonel Jack O'Neill."

"O'Neill? Any relation to Lord Cascadia's First Consort?" He'd done his homework. Since neither man had moved, Jack didn't have to shake hands. He waggled his head a little.

"I suppose you could say that." Jack smiled and kept reminding himself this wasn't the Jacob he knew. Carter waited, apparently hoping for more, but Jack had said his piece.

"Ah. Will Lord Jackson be joining us, soon?" Carter was keeping a close eye on all three men. Beecham finished his task and moved to stand at the end of the sideboard, apparently waiting for orders.

"He's a little tied up at the moment." Ian raised an eyebrow in a manner worthy of Teal'c at Jack's comment. "Perhaps you could talk to us, instead." That got Carter's back up.

"My business is with his lordship alone." Jack had been afraid of this. There was only one thing to do, now.

"So, while we wait, I understand you were in the resistance with Karl, here." Jack rocked a bit on his heels.

"Yes, we worked together during the invasion. Karl proved himself to be very capable." Jack bet he had.

"Thank you, sir. It was an honor." Beecham's voice drew Carter's attention and Jack swiftly brought his zat around and shot him. Carter cried out and dropped to the floor. At that distance, the energy was more diffused, if Carter was a snake, maybe the host would have a moment to speak with them. Jack rushed over, zat at the ready. Carter's eyes flashed then returned to normal.

"Who the hell are you?" It was the host speaking. He was trembling with reaction to the blast, but had remained conscious.

"Maybe a friend. Turn over, show me the back of your neck." Ian started forward to help the man, but Jack waved him back. "Show me your neck or I'll shoot you again." Carter struggled with his uncooperative muscles, but managed to flop over onto his stomach. He bowed his head and Jack carefully reached down to move his hair out of the way. There was no entry scar. "Are you a voluntary host?" Carter moved onto his side and nodded. He was recovering rapidly.

"Yes. We're Tok'Ra." He closed his eyes for a moment.

"What's the name of your snake, your symbiote." Jack still held the zat on him. He just hoped he was dealing with the same pair as at home. He was taking a chance, but he needed Carter.

"I am Selmac." His eyes flashed and the Goa'uld tones made the other two men flinch. "You know of us?"

"Know of the Tok'Ra? Sure, but how do I know you're really Selmac?" Jack tried to remember Selmac's last host's name. Daniel would know. He realized he should have asked Carter, but who knew Jacob was going to show up. Contrary to popular belief, he did read his team's reports, but there'd been a lot of paper across his desk since Jacob joined up. It started with an 's', he was sure of it. Scaramouche or something. "What was your last host's name?" Jack mentally crossed his fingers that he'd know it when he heard it. Or that Selmac had even had the same host here.

"Her name was Sarooch. I couldn't save her from the virus." Sadness and guilt flickered across Jacob's face. "May I get up? Jacob's hip hit the edge of the hearth when we fell. I need to heal him quickly or he'll give me hell for weeks." Jack nodded and lowered the zat, but didn't put it away. He _hoped_ he was looking at an ally, but he needed more than hope.

"Sure, take a load off." Jack pointed to the armchair he'd been sitting in the night before. Once the Tok'Ra was seated, he sat in the one opposite it. Daniel's chair. The benefits of Caruthers' cream were starting wear off.

"You didn't tell us the Tok'Ra were like _them_!" Ian had his gun out and was pointing it Jacob. He looked terrified.

"Easy, Ian, just take it easy. Selmac can heal a lot of things, but I'm thinkin' a bullet in the brain would be a bit tough." Jack stood, ready to zat the younger man if he looked like he might shoot. "I didn't tell you because I didn't think you needed to know _and_ I knew it would freak you out." Ian slowly lowered his gun, not taking his eyes off Jacob. "They're the good guys, trust me. But don't call Selmac a Goa'uld, it'll piss him off." Most of them were good guys, at least. Jack really wasn't sure what he would have done had Anise been in Jacob's head. "We have a treaty with them and everything." Jacob looked startled at that. "Ian, sit down and relax. Karl? How about a stiff drink for Ian, here. I think he could use one." Jack caught sight of Beecham's face. He looked like he was about to pass out. "Pour one for yourself, while you're at it." The servant just nodded and proceeded to pour the drinks. Jack resumed his seat as Ian settled into the chair facing the fireplace.

"Who _are_ you? Did the council send you?" Jacob was speaking. Jack figured Selmac was hard at work on their bad hip.

"I'm the guy with the zat. Tell me why you're here and we may be able to help each other." Jacob sat back still staring at Jack, but Jack didn't think he was really seeing him. He had that faraway look that told him there was a lively conversation going on between host and symbiote. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Beecham hand Ian a glass. It was empty in seconds.

"I'm here to see Lord Jackson. We were supposed to meet two nights ago, but he never showed up."

"Why were you meeting?" Jack swore that if he started giving him the run around he'd zat him again. The Tok'Ra's habit of hoarding valuable information was infuriating. Jack ignored that he'd done the same thing to the locals. That was different. He knew it was. Somehow. Jacob looked at their faces as if trying to decide how much to tell them. "Do _ not_ play your usual Tok'Ra games with me. I'm not in the mood. I need to know this and I need to know it _now_."

"The resistance never ended." Like that was a surprise to Jack. Maybe he could throw the man a curve and get him to swing at it.

"Do you know where Nirrti is?" Jack didn't let his satisfaction show. He had an advantage in that he _knew_ Jacob, one Jacob anyway. The Tok'Ra hid it well, but he saw the surprise in his face for the split second it showed.

"No. We don't."

"Is that 'we' as in the two of you in that chair or 'we' as in there are other Tok'Ra agents around?" He didn't really expect Jacob to answer that one, so he gave him a slider to swing at. "_Tell_ me it's not Anise! That woman has been nothing but trouble since the day I met her!" _Damn!_ Jacob's face told him exactly what he didn't want to hear.

"You knew Anise and Rosha?"

"Rosha? What happened to Freya?" Jacob shook his head.

"I don't know of any host name Freya. Anise's current host is named Robert." He rubbed his hands together and clasped them in his lap. "Look, you seem to know quite a bit about us. I know you're not a Goa'uld, but I have no idea who you are or why you're here. That," he pointed to Jack's BDUs, "isn't a uniform I recognize from this planet. You must have come through the chappa'ai, am I right?"

"Nope, not at all. Didn't come through the gate." Seeing his confusion at the term Jack explained. "We call it a stargate."

"You have a ship?" Jacob looked hopeful.

"No, no ship."

"Jack, just _tell_ him! You've already decided he's on our side. Just tell him." Ian had been sitting quietly, but was apparently getting as frustrated as Jacob.

"Yes, Jack just tell me." Jack couldn't help smiling a little. That sounded like their Jacob.

"Okay, but you may not believe me. Half the time I'm not really sure I believe it." Jack launched into an abbreviated version of who he was and what had happened. Jacob asked a few questions at the beginning. His eyes misted when Jack described his team but recovered and listened to everything intently.

"That's incredible. Karl?" Jacob spoke to Beecham for the first time since Jack and Ian entered the room. "Have you seen this mirror?"

"Not recently, Jacob, but I was in the room with Lord Cascadia and Doctor Jackson. Colonel O'Neill looks very much like his lordship's First Consort."

"Jonathan doesn't have as much gray. What can I say? It's Daniel's fault. Not a single gray hair when I met him. Not _one_!" Jack instantly missed Daniel's usual response to the accusation. Mostly, he just missed Daniel. It was like he was already gone.

"Where's Nirrti. We have to deal with him. We can't risk letting him go."

"He's secure for the moment, but you won't have to worry about Nirrti. We'll be taking him with us when we go." Jack stood up. Jacob and Ian joined him.

"Why would you take him with you? Do you have any idea how dangerous Nirrti is?"

"Oh, yeah, we've run into her a few times in our universe. She's dead now, though, so that won't be a problem." Jack gestured for Ian and then Jacob to precede him.

"Who killed her?" Jacob paused before following Ian.

"Some of her research subjects took care of that for us." Jack couldn't resist this part. He always got a kick out of it. "We did kill, let's see, Ra, Apophis. Had to kill him several times. Damn snake wouldn't stay dead. That bitch Hathor, Seth, Ammonet, Cronos, though it was actually Teal'c's robot double that killed him. There've been others, but I never can remember them all."

"You've been killing off System Lords?" Jacob looked scandalized. Seemed the Tok'Ra were the same no matter which universe they were from.

"It was that or let them kill us! Daniel and I kinda pissed them off when we took out Ra on Abydos." Jacob just shook his head and turned to join Ian at the bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. Jack nodded for Beecham to join them. Jose opened the door for them and they filed in. Jack raised his eyebrows at Jose who just shrugged. Jack accepted it. He probably would have listened in, too. At least they didn't have to go over it again. Jacob stopped near Nirrti, a look of hatred on his face. Jack tapped his shoulder and directed him to the bed where Caruthers was taking Daniel's pulse again.

"How's Doctor Jackson?" Jacob kept glancing back over his shoulder at the bound Goa'uld.

"He's fine. He'll sleep for a few more hours, but I can't guarantee what his condition will be when he wakes up." Caruthers shook his head. "What can you tell us about the tainted drugs?"

"Not a thing. That's Anise's area."

"Why am I not surprised?" Jack wished that particular snake was in the room, just so he could have the pleasure of zatting her, him into oblivion. "Nothing like a little collateral damage to catch a snake, um, Jacob?"

"What? You think _we_ did this?" Jacob looked shocked at the suggestion.

"Oh, come _on_! This has Tok'Ra written all over it. Anise tried to alter the virus and screwed up."

"No! It wasn't us!" That sounded suspiciously like Jacob telling the truth.

"Nirrti seemed to think we had something to do with messing up her 'experiment' as she called it. If it wasn't you and it wasn't us, then who was it? I can't believe she'd ever trust anyone enough for one of her pet snakes to have the opportunity." Just when he thought the rollercoaster was heading into the station, it took another dip.

"You're right. Nirrti never gave her lieutenants that much power." Jacob shook his head. "Damn! We've got another Goa'uld and no way to get reinforcements."

"Oh. You don't know, then." Jack loved being able to tell Tok'Ra stuff they should already know.

"Know _what_?"

"The gate's here and apparently Nirrti brought the DHD along when he showed up yesterday." Jacob looked confused. "DHD. The thingy you dial to make the gate work."

"Oh! It's here? Mel told me weeks ago that he'd sent the chappa'ai here, I've been trying to figure out an energy source for it. He never told me he even had the control unit. Where is it?"

"The gate's doing a lovely impersonation of a sundial in the backyard and Ian should know where the DHD is." Jack raised his eyebrows at Ian.

"It's in one of the storage buildings."

"I hope you know how to hook it up. I would also suggest you move it somewhere a bit more secure." Jack shivered dramatically. "Gives me the willies thinking of it just sitting there." Ian had joined Jose and Beecham, who seemed pathological about his job, was straightening up. Caruthers was writing in a journal, probably Daniel's medical file. "Look, Jacob, do you happen to have one of those healing devices on you?"

"No, I don't carry it with me." Jack sighed. It had been a long shot, but worth a try.

"Healing device?" Caruthers was as bad as Frasier.

"Don't get excited Doc, you've got to have a snake in your head to use it."

"Sir, what does it look like?" Beecham appeared at Jack's elbow making him jump.

"Karl! Don't do that!" Jack glared at the servant. "It's about yea big," he held out his palm to demonstrate the size, "and has a big red jewel thing in the middle. Fits over the hand." Beecham seemed to think for a moment then he nodded.

"I do remember seeing something like that in his lordship's collection. I helped him catalog everything Lord Jackson sent to him." Maybe that god Jack wasn't sure he believed existed was there after all.

"Is it here? Can you get it?" Beecham nodded and Jack shooed him toward the door. "Go! Hurry!" He turned to Jacob. "Can that dissipate the drugs?" Jacob's eyes flashed and Selmac answered.

"It depends on what was used. The healing device is usually used to heal physical injuries and cure illnesses. We tried to use it to cure the plague, but were unsuccessful. I have used it to heal the damage caused by poisons, but without knowing more about the chemicals involved, I cannot be sure it would work."

"Will you try?"

"I will try." Jacob's head dipped a moment.

"We can't promise anything, but we'll give it a shot." It seemed there was another snake running around, but if Jacob could heal them, Jack had to figure things were looking up. "Colonel is it?"

"Please, just Jack. It feels weird having you be so formal." So close. So close to getting out of here. They could deal with their snake problem on their own.

"I take it you know me, the other Jacob well?" He settled down in the chair Caruthers had been in earlier, close to the door and with a clear view of Nirrti. Jack nodded.

"He's our liaison with the Tok'Ra. He and Selmac are good friends." Jack gave him a quick rundown on his Jacob then realized what he wasn't asking. "Sam Carter's the best second I've ever had." Jacob smiled ruefully.

"I can't quite picture _my_ Sammie in the Air Force."

"She _hates_ it when her dad calls her that." Jacob laughed.

"So did mine." Beecham entered the room after a quiet knock, for which Jack was grateful. Jacob looked relieved as well. The conversation was heading into deep waters and Jack was too wrung out to deal with that.

"Is this the device you requested?" Beecham pulled a healing device out of his pocket.

"Yes! Thank you Karl, I could kiss you right now!" Beecham looked a little taken aback. "But I won't. Don't worry. Jacob? Do your stuff." Jack waved him to the bed and stopped by the side of it, watching as Jacob stood over Daniel with his hands hovering over the supine man. The device activated and a golden glow began at Daniel's chest and flowed outward. For a moment, Jack was back in an isolation room and Daniel was wrapped in bandages. He blinked and the image corrected itself. Jack wasn't going to lose him again. Somehow, someway they'd make this work. Even if he could never touch him again, Daniel would be in his life. Jack wasn't going to let him go no matter what. The glow faded and Jacob lowered his arms. "Well?"

"There was some minor damage to most of his organs." Jack felt light headed. "I was able to heal that, including the areas of the brain that were involved, but he's still got traces of the chemicals you mentioned in his system. I tried to speed up their dispersal, but it's going to take some time for them to be broken down completely. I don't think there's enough left to cause any more problems, though." He shook his head. "It's difficult to tell. I've never run into them before. Selmac's guessing." He turned to the doctor. "Your sedative should wear off fairly soon. I couldn't be too selective on what was being metabolized."

"Brain damage?" Jack locked his knees to keep from collapsing.

"Very minor. It might have healed on it's own with the chemicals gone. The human brain has a great capacity to rewire itself at need." He looked thoughtful. "It could account for some of the more bizarre behavior among the fertile men." He shook his head again. "I never thought I'd find myself wishing for a sarcophagus, but we're going to need a lot more hands if we're going to be able to heal every damaged man on this planet."

"You'd do that?" Caruthers was almost salivating.

"Aht! You two can discuss that after we're gone. Jacob, you tired?"

"No, not especially. The damage wasn't that severe, why?"

"Cuz, I could use a turn with that." Jack looked at Caruthers who grinned in understanding.

"You? Oh!" Jack had skirted the details of what had happened to him, but Jacob was a smart man. "Of course. Sit down and I'll see what I can do." Jack handed the zat to Jose then sat carefully in one of the overstuffed armchair watching Jacob raise the device over him. Being in a sarcophagus was easy, he went in, kinda fell asleep and when it opened he felt better. This was different. There was some pain involved in being awake while the device worked, but Jack bore it stoically. At least with this he wouldn't be facing days in the infirmary. Or prison, for that matter. It was well worth the pain. Jacob finished and Jack felt better than he had in ages. Not only were his wounds healed, but also the constant dull ache in his knees was gone. He rarely noticed it anymore, but its absence was incredible.

"Very glad you happened to stop by today, Jacob." Jack stood rubbing his hand together and reveling in his newfound pain-free state. The knowledge that there was no longer a court martial in his future didn't hurt his mood, either. The way he felt now, he almost thought they could dispense with the stretcher altogether. At this rate, he could carry Daniel down to the mirror by himself. Fortunately, his good sense reminded him that if he wanted to enjoy his fixed knees for a while longer, he shouldn't be lugging more than his own body weight down long flights of stairs if he didn't have to. "So, how do we carry two men down the stairs without the rest of the household seeing us? Suggestions?"

* * *

  
"Tell me about them, Daniel." Doctor Frasier sat speaking quietly with him in their room while she fed the baby. This time their daughter was wrapped in a bright yellow blanket. Another gift from the industrious Cassie. Jonathan was asleep in the big bed having insisted on being up with their daughter several times during the night. Daniel's strength was returning rapidly, for which he was most grateful. Best of all, though, his mind felt sharp and alive for the first time in years. The remnants of an embarrassingly large meal sat on the table and still Daniel continued to nibble. His appetite had come back stronger than he'd remembered it ever being. Daniel had found himself eyeing Jonathan's meal sitting under cover waiting for him when he woke. He knew he'd had enough, but it didn't feel like it. He ignored the kiwi he'd set aside from his own fruit plate for Jonathan. He'd always loved kiwi but they hadn't seen one in almost a decade. So he'd left it. Kiwi was one of Jonathan's favorites.

They'd convinced the doctor to let them return to their room the night before. She'd insisted that nurses come in regularly to check on them, which neither of them objected to. Newborns were a lot of work, no matter how experienced the parents were. Jonathan was recovering well from the birth and while this wasn't as good as being home, it was much nicer than the well equipped, if sterile, isolation room they'd had. Daniel swallowed the last bite of pineapple and wondered if his second father-in-law could get them regular supplies of the fruit. He wasn't sure how good their crop was. He missed pineapple.

"We have seven little boys. Jonathan and Ian both had two and Jose had three." He smiled, thinking of his boys. He missed them much more than pineapple. Daniel couldn't wait to introduce them to their sister. He anticipated some interesting discussions about the differences between boys and girls. Maybe he'd leave those to Jonathan. He grinned at the thought. "Nicolas is the oldest, he's five and quite a handful." Jonathan always said their oldest reminded him of Daniel, but only when he was getting himself and his brothers into trouble. "Next is Alex. He's also five, but a couple of months younger. Then comes Sean who's four, Robert's almost four and Patrick turned three in August. Finally the twins, Raphael and Stefan. They're two. They're both quite good at it." Doctor Frasier laughed. She'd told him that her own daughter was adopted at the age of twelve, but her laugh told him she knew something about little ones and the trouble they could get into. "Nick is usually getting himself into things and Pat seems to always be right there in the thick of if it with him. Alex is a bit of a loner, but he looks out for the younger boys almost obsessively. He's very protective of Sean and Robby." Daniel could hear the pride in his voice as he talked about his family, but saw no reason to deny it. He'd always known that he'd need to provide an heir for his House, but given his lack of interest in women, especially since meeting Jonathan, he really hadn't given it much serious thought. Now he had _eight_ children and would likely have many more in the future. He never thought of the children he sired on the men sent to him as his. "I imagine when the twins get a little older, they'll be trailing along behind as fast as their little legs will carry them."

"And now they have a sister." Doctor Frasier pulled the nipple out of the baby's mouth and set the bottle down to free her hands so she could bring her to her shoulder to try and coax a burp out of the now indignant newborn. Daniel had to work to resist taking over. He forced himself to relax and let the woman have her moment with his daughter. His daughter. He took his glasses off for a moment and rubbed his eyes, disguising wiping away the moisture as simply rubbing eyes tired from interrupted sleep. "Have you two decided what you're going to name her?" Daniel grinned again as he replaced his glasses. They had decided just before Jonathan laid down for his nap, but as had become customary in their family, it wasn't for him to say. His husband would kill him if Daniel didn't wake him for this.

"Let me wake Jonathan. It's his place to tell you." Doctor Frasier, hampered as she was by the baby now gobbling down her dinner again, couldn't object too strenuously to his intention. "No, it's all right. He's been sleeping for several hours now. He really should eat, anyway." She wasn't happy but seemed to accept his reasoning. Daniel stood, delighted again that he'd been able to do away with the blasted wheelchair, and walked to the bed. He sat down next to his husband and gently ran his hand through the tired man's hair. Getting no reaction he leaned down and pressed a light kiss to his lips then spoke softly, "Love? You need to wake up and have some dinner. Lunch. Whatever." Jonathan sighed and moved in his sleep. Daniel knew exactly how he'd wake him if it weren't for their visitor. Instead, he cupped the older man's cheek and spoke in a normal tone of voice. "Jonathan. I need you to wake up." That reached him. Hazy brown eyes squinted up at him in the low light.

"D'n'y? Whz wr'ng?" Jonathan blinked a few times and started trying to sit up.

"Nothing's wrong, love, it's just time for you to eat. You've been sleeping for hours." Daniel helped him sit back against the headboard, with pillows to support his back. Jonathan always complained of back pain after birth. Devon had said it was just strained muscles readjusting to the lack of pull on them, but whatever the reason, between them and the abdominal incision, it took Jonathan a while to get back on his feet properly. "And before you ask, Doctor Frasier stopped by and she's feeding the baby right now." Daniel moved aside so Jonathan could see the woman and child across the room.

"Shall I bring her to you, Jonathan?" Doctor Frasier started to get up, but Jonathan gestured for her to remain where she was.

"No, not right now. I'm not really awake enough and you look like you've got it under control." He smiled at her and Daniel could tell he was still tired, but that wouldn't change for a couple of weeks at least. Daniel smiled with him then forced his smile to stay steady as he arranged the infirmary table for his husband and brought him his dinner. Jonathan took longer and longer to bounce back after every birth. He didn't like to think of his beloved husband getting older, but he was. He didn't have all of Jack's gray, but the pregnancies had taken their toll in their own way. Daniel's father had been nagging him to take another consort, but Daniel was reluctant. Even though more consorts would relieve him of his extra duties to the Reproductive Council's directives, their household was settled and happy. He didn't want to do anything that might upset that. His father had suggested that another consort might relieve the pressure of having Jonathan bearing so often. Daniel was torn and knew he'd have to discuss it with the others eventually. Maybe he'd let them find someone. That was for later. Right now they had something much more pleasant to discuss.

"Love," Jonathan looked up from his sandwich, "Doctor Frasier asked me what names we decided on." His husband's eyes twinkled as he swallowed.

"Ah." Jonathan wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his fruit serving closer to Daniel's side of the table and patted the edge of bed next to him. "Why don't you work on that pineapple for me while I tell her." Daniel started to object, but got a mock stern look in response. Instead, he winked at Jonathan as he sat and popped half a pineapple ring in his mouth. They hadn't seen even canned pineapple in far too long. "In my family, a first, middle and last name were quite enough, but since I married up," he slapped Daniel's thigh, "the kids get more names than any one person needs." Now it was Jonathan's turn to wink and grin. They were both enjoying this far too much. Daniel knew it was at least partly due to the absence of the tainted drugs in their systems, but that didn't account for the general air of giddiness they shared. They had a living, breathing, _healthy_ daughter and every expectation that she'd stay that way. Of course they were giddy. Jonathan turned back to their guest who was now holding their little miracle and slowly rocking her into a sated sleep. His eyes grew moist and Daniel put his arm around him and hugged him placing a kiss against the side of his head. He rested his head against Jonathan's and held him, both of them looking at the woman and child across the room. "Our first daughter's name was Claire, for Danny's mother." Daniel hugged him a little tighter, sharing comfort at the thought of not only their lost child but of the woman they'd both loved dearly. She'd accepted Jonathan in his life so easily just as she'd always accepted everything about her unconventional son. Daniel missed her more every day.

"So you're naming her for your mother then?" Daniel silently blessed this woman for not dwelling on their obvious grief.

"Mom's name was Margaret and yes, that's one of her names." Jonathan's mother had died before the invasion and Daniel was grateful for that small mercy. Losing them both at the same time would have been horrendous.

"Just tell her, Jonny." That earned him a raised eyebrow. Maybe Jonathan wouldn't have hated nicknames so much if his mother had called him Jack instead.

"Since the boss here insists," Daniel shook his head in exasperation and rubbed Jonathan's shoulder. "Her name is Janet Margaret Claire Maria O'Neill Jackson." Doctor Frasier stopped her rocking and just stared at them with a surprised, and Daniel thought, pleased expression. She looked down at the baby sleeping in her arms and blinked rapidly. Daniel pressed a tender kiss on his husband's cheek and squeezed his shoulder once before releasing him and getting off the bed. He went to Doctor Frasier's side and knelt down next to her.

"Doctor, Janet, our daughter," Daniel placed one hand on his daughter, just feeling her breathe, "is alive because of _you_. We're honored to have her bear your name." He rose a little and placed a chaste kiss on the woman's cheek, then released _his_ Janet and gently brushed the tears from the doctor's face. She turned her beautiful brown eyes to meet his. "We gave her life, but because of you, she has the chance to live it." Daniel was surprised when she raised her own hand to wipe his cheeks. He hadn't realized his own tears had fallen. "Every daughter my husbands bear me will carry your name in honor of the woman who saved their lives."

"Just not the first one, cuz that would just be too weird." Daniel covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud and waking the baby. Doctor Frasier did the same and they both turned to look at Jonathan who sat innocently working through his meal. "Somewhere in the middle will be great, though." Jonathan winked at them and stuffed half a kiwi into his mouth. Leave it to Jonathan to lighten the mood. Daniel turned his attention back to the woman in front of him.

"I don't know what to say. I'm beyond honored." She looked flustered and Daniel took pity on her.

"You don't have to say anything. You never have to say anything, Janet. There's no way we can ever thank you enough, but we can do this." She shifted the child sleeping in her arms and Daniel stood up. "Here, she's sleeping well. I should probably go and make sure SG6 hasn't conned their way out of the infirmary yet." She stood up carefully and handed the tiny yellow bundle to Daniel. He suspected her patients were only part of the reason she needed to leave. He'd seen how she held herself around others. Cheerful, yet always in control. He understood the need. Daniel tucked his daughter into the crook of one arm and walked the doctor to the doorway. She opened the door, but then turned to speak before leaving.

"Jonathan, someone will be by to do your afternoon checks in a little while. I'll make sure they wait a little so you can finish your lunch." She looked up at Daniel as if she wanted to say something, but closed her mouth and smiled while her eyes misted again as she looked at her namesake. Daniel put his free arm around her and pulled her to him resting his cheek on the top of her head.

"Thank you, again, Janet. For everything." He released her and she nodded as she turned to walk through the door. Daniel caught her wiping her cheek as he closed the door behind her.

"Every girl named Janet?" Jonathan's voice drew him back from the door. "Danny, I don't _ever_ want to hear you tell me you're not sentimental again." Daniel chuckled and went back to sit next to Jonathan. He continued to hold little Janet in one arm and rested his other hand on his husband's thigh. Jonathan rested his head on Daniel's shoulder and gently twitched the blanket away from their daughter's face. "She's so beautiful, Daniel." Daniel leaned his head against his husband's while they watched her sleep. "Move this table, would you, and then come back to bed." Daniel glanced at the table and saw that Jonathan hadn't eaten half of what was there. The pain medicine sometimes dulled his appetite along with making him sleepy. All the kiwi was gone, though.

"Sure you're finished?" He handed Jonathan the baby just as his husband yawned. Daniel eased off the bed so as not to jostle the healing man.

"Yeah. Maybe I'll finish it later after another nap." Daniel rolled the table to the side and recovered the dishes. He debated trying to fit it all in the little refrigerator in the room, but decided he was too tired. His body was reacting to the large meal and all he wanted to do now was sleep. With the table out of the way, he toed off his shoes, set his glasses on the bedside table and slipped out of the stretchy pants he'd been given. They were comfortable, but he didn't want to sleep in them. At home they slept nude, but neither of them felt comfortable with that here, especially not with medical personnel coming and going.

Daniel helped Jonathan ease down into bed and then rearranged the pillows. Jonathan commandeered one to put on his other side. He tucked little Janet into the crook of that arm and then used the pillow to support her. Daniel slipped into bed next to him noting the time automatically. So far, she'd proven to be a good sleeper. They might have four hours before she woke them. If Daniel was lucky, he could sleep through Jonathan's checkup. He leaned up for a moment to make sure the baby was settled then stretched carefully out on his side next to Jonathan. There was an art to sleeping with his husbands right after they'd given birth without hurting them and Daniel was an expert. He sighed and relaxed into the feeling of his love's body along the full length of his. He rested his head partly on the pillow, partly on Jonathan's shoulder and wrapped his arm across his husband's chest. Jonathan turned his face toward him and they kissed softly. Even if the baby weren't sleeping with them, Jonathan wouldn't be up to much more for weeks, but for now, this was enough. This was everything. The kiss ended and Daniel nuzzled the side of Jonathan's face for a moment before changing position a little. He squirmed until his head was resting on Jonathan's chest, his arm over his waist, and his hand on their sleeping daughter. He closed his eyes and murmured, "Sleep well, my love."

"You, too, Danny." Jonathan's soft, drowsy rumble was the last thing he knew before sleep claimed him.

Daniel was almost on his feet before he realized he was awake. He heard the baby crying in her quiet way and he quickly moved around the bed to get to her before Jonathan woke all the way up. "I've got her love, just go back to sleep." His husband yawned and nodded then settled back to sleep. Apparently his luck had held because Daniel didn't remember rousing at all for Jonathan's checkup. He carried little Janet to the dresser that had been designated as a changing table. He spoke softly to the fussy baby and quickly cleaned her up and changed her into a new diaper. Daniel reminded her that she'd enjoy her bottle more if she was comfortable, but she apparently disagreed. They always did. Daniel was just glad that she wasn't a screamer. He settled into the rocking chair with her and watched with tired amusement as she gripped the nipple in her mouth, barely getting any formula in her urgency. With practiced ease, he coaxed her to relax and soon she was suckling with determination.

The twins had been impossible and all four of them had been run ragged taking care of them as well as the other children. Not only two newborns, but both had colic for their first few months. If it hadn't been for Jonathan and Ian, he and Jose would have gone mad. If it hadn't been for the rest of the household, he didn't know what they would have done. Daniel always wondered how parents without household staffs made it. Especially those with more than one bearing man. Bearing men without husbands often moved in together, even if they didn't marry. It was more a convenient necessity than a marriage. The Reproductive Council funded home help for men who needed it, but it was never enough. Daniel had hired men to help out in the village near his estate and even loaned out any of his household staff that wanted to help men in the district. But that was just one village, one district. There had to be more he could do. He needed to talk to the others and see what ideas they had. Between them, they should be able to come up with something.

Daniel brought little Janet to his shoulder to burp her when someone knocked at the door. He got up, snagged his glasses from the table and slipped them on before opening the door. Once open Daniel was surprised to see Jack waiting in the corridor. "Jack? Is something wrong?" Surely they hadn't been gone two days.

"Hey, you got rid of the chair. That's great!" Daniel nodded as he stood aside to let the other man in, gesturing with his head toward his sleeping husband and pressing a finger to his lips. He went back to the rocking chair and sat down, offering the baby the last of her bottle. That's when he remembered he was sitting there in his shorts and a t-shirt. He shook his head and decided it was too late to do anything about it. Jack sat uneasily next to him, studying his hands, the floor, the walls, anything but making eye contact. Daniel's worry escalated. This wasn't a man nervous about his host's state of undress. "Tell me, Jack. What's happened? Are the children okay? Ian and Jose?" Jack finally looked at him, but his startled expression told Daniel he was on the wrong track. He sighed and relaxed. His family was fine.

"No, Daniel, it's okay. The kids are still at your Dad's. Ian called them just before we left. Seems Nick decided he wanted to go to the park yesterday and Pat tagged along. They just didn't bother to tell anyone else they were going." Daniel shook his head at his son's independent streak. No matter how often he blamed Jonathan for it, deep down, he knew exactly where it came from. "Scared your uncle, but the boys are fine. Jose and Ian are good, too. Yeah, they're, they're good." Maybe not so fine after all. That sounded a lot like Jonathan trying to evade a question he didn't want to answer.

"Jack?"

"Hey, you've got Frasier walking around two feet off the ground. She's going to be gloating for weeks." His half-hearted smile didn't comfort Daniel at all.

"Damnit, Jack! Tell me what's wrong!" In his exasperation, Daniel raised his voice, startling the baby and getting a snort and a mumble from the man in the bed. He quickly soothed little Janet and got her suckling again, giving his visitor a dirty look in the process. Jack had the good grace to look guilty, but then Daniel realized he'd had an air of guilt surrounding him since he got there.

"Look there's no easy way to say this, so let me just say it." Jack finally made eye contact with him. "Nirrti's alive." Daniel's mouth dropped open. His mind whirled. With everything that had been going on recently, he hadn't given much thought to the source of the problems they'd been having. Those two words said it all. But how could it be?

"No, she can't be. They found her body. My dad was there!" Jack shook his head and Daniel's heart sank. These people knew more about their enemy than anyone in his world.

"You found the old host. The snake found a new one." Jack rubbed his face. "Nirrti has apparently been changing hosts to do her dirty work. The latest one showed up at your place. We brought him with us, stuck him in a holding cell." Janet chose that moment to finish her bottle and Daniel settled her in his arms and began to rock her to sleep while he tried to assimilate what Jack had told him.

"Why?" What possessed them to bring her, him here?

"Why what?" Jack looked genuinely puzzled.

"Why did you bring him _here_? Why didn't you just kill him? Why is Nirrti still alive?" He spit the words out with more venom than he'd thought he possessed. "I'll do it. Give me gun. I'll do it if you won't!" Daniel felt rage building within him. All the pain and anguish of the past few years boiled to the surface. At last he had the opportunity to vent it at the source.

"No, Daniel. No, you won't. There's more." Jack seemed to be struggling with something. How could there be more? Wasn't the monster's survival enough?

"Look, the reason we didn't kill him right away," Jack held up a finger in a very Jonathan-like manner so Daniel kept silent forcing himself to keep his rocking sedate. He didn't want to let his rage spill over onto his daughter. "We can save the host, but we had to bring him here to do it." Daniel was incredulous.

"_Save_ the host? Anyone who sided with that monster," Jack's cringe at the word just fueled Daniel's rage, "_deserves_ to die!" Daniel was trembling. Jack started to speak, but Daniel shook his head violently. His daughter was deeply asleep, which was the only reason he hadn't disturbed her. He took a deep breath and stood, walking slowly toward the bed. He carefully settled her in the crook of Jonathan's arm making sure the pillow gave them both support. His husband murmured in his sleep and shifted a little to accommodate the baby's presence. Daniel ran his hand through Jonathan's hair, "Jonathan? I'm going out for a bit." Jonathan opened his eyes a little and yawned as he nodded. "I'll be back before she wakes up, but if not, there's another bottle ready for her." The sleepy man nodded again and reached for Daniel's hand. "Did your checkup go okay?" Another nod and a quick smile flashed across Daniel's face. Peace flowed through him at the sight of his husband and daughter sleeping peacefully. He leaned down and kissed little Janet's forehead and then Jonathan's. He wouldn't allow _anything_ to harm them.

Daniel shot a cold glance at Jack standing stiffly by the door as he went to the closet and began to dress. They couldn't talk about this here. He knew he couldn't hold onto his temper much longer and he wasn't going to drag Jonathan into this right now. He'd tell him about it later, but the man had enough on his plate with recovering from childbirth. Daniel did his best to shield his husbands from whatever hardship he could. They had enough to deal with. It was the least he could for them. Dressed he strode to the door and gestured for Jack to follow him out.

"Daniel!" Jack stopped him in the corridor after they passed the security detail watching their suite. He looked almost as angry as Daniel felt.

"I don't know what you think you're doing, but whatever it is, I won't let it happen!" Daniel wanted to grab the man and shove him against the wall and beat some sense into him. Only years of controlling his rages gave him the strength to resist the urge. Daniel headed back down the corridor. Maybe General Hammond would give him some information.

"Damnit, _listen_ to me!" Jack grabbed his arm as he passed and jerked Daniel around to face him. He angrily shook Jack's hand off of him.

"What!" Jack had no right to look at him like that. Their world hadn't suffered. They didn't have to struggle every day just to make sure there was a next generation to carry on. They didn't have to watch their children sicken and die because some monstrous bitch decreed it should happen. Daniel couldn't stand the look on that too familiar face any longer. He grabbed Jack by his shirt and slammed him against the wall. "We _trusted_ you, damnit! Now you want to _help them_?"

"It's your dad!" Daniel replayed the words in his head over and over trying to make sense of them. Dimly he heard someone ask Jack if he needed help. Jack just shook his head and kept his eyes on Daniel's. "The goold don't take willing hosts. He hasn't done anything wrong. We can get rid of the snake. We can save him." Daniel got the impression there was someone Jack hadn't been able to save.

"No. You're mistaken. It's a mistake." That's it; somehow they've made a mistake. His father couldn't possibly be a host.

"Oh, I don't know. I think the eyes lighting up and the weird voice and nearly frying Daniel's brain with a hand device kinda gave it away." Daniel shook his head, still denying what Jack had told him. _God, Dad, no! I can't loose you, too!_ "I want to see him."

"Oh, Daniel, that's a _very_ bad idea." Daniel dropped his hands from Jack's shirt and stepped back. Jack waved a hand to someone and Daniel followed the movement he caught out of the corner of his eye. The security detail had been standing right behind him, ready to come to Jack's aid.

"He's my _father_! You have no right to keep him from me!" This was a mistake. He'd clear it up, but he had to talk to his father to do it. Surely there was no way a Goa'uld could fool him. He knew Melburn Jackson better than anyone alive.

"Daniel." Jack looked uncertain for a moment, then his expression changed. "You know what? You're right. You want to see him? I'll take you down _myself_." Jack headed purposefully down the corridor toward the elevator. "And when I've done this for you, there's something you've got to do for me. But if you pass out or have a fit or something, _you_ get to explain it to Frasier."

The rest of their journey to the holding cells was made in silence. Daniel wavered between rage and stark terror. The closer they got, the stronger his terror became. When they stopped at the armory so Jack could check out a weapon, Daniel almost objected, but the forbidding look on his companion's face dissuaded him. What if Jack was right?

The corridors were narrower and seemed darker than the ones he'd begun to grow used to. Daniel began to feel claustrophobic. The concave walls made it feel like some sort of animal warren. The only color was on the pipes running from floor to ceiling at the end. The bright, primary colors looked jarringly out of place. He felt as if he was walking through a nightmare. They turned to the right at the end and Jack knocked on the door before them. The sound of the lock being released seemed to echo in the small space. The door opened and Jack motioned the guard aside. Daniel followed Jack into the space on the other side. He barely noticed the guard leaving, closing the door behind him. Cells bound the small central space. Bare bulbs cast more shadow than light. The shadows of bars lining the floor reminded Daniel of a disturbing painting he'd once seen half completed in Ian's studio not long after the invasion. In the painting, the shadowed lines had been joined by the shadow of a dangling body and the rope it hung by. Daniel blinked and the image from the painting faded. He'd never asked Ian about it and hadn't seen it since.

"Danny?" Daniel started at the voice. Jack stood in front of the cell his father's voice came from. As he walked slowly to stand by Jack, he saw lines of red light running parallel behind the bars. A figure rose from the shadowed bunk and approached the light. For a moment, the shadows cast across the man's face lent a demonic air to his features. Then his father stepped closer and the illusion was shattered. "Danny, thank god! You've got to get me out of here!" He sounded almost panicked.

"Oh, here we go. It won't work, Nirrti, we know who you are." Jack stood calmly beside him, looking more bored than anything else.

"Dad? Are you all right?" This wasn't right. This couldn't be happening.

"For now, son, but," he paused, "look, I need to talk to you alone." His father looked pointedly at Jack.

"That is _not_ going to happen. I'm not going to leave him alone with you so you can mess with his head." Daniel was confused, desperate. He trusted his father and Jonathan more than anyone else in any universe. He looked at Jack, but at the moment all he could see was his husband. They were so much alike. He had tried to keep them separate in his mind, but it was almost impossible. His head knew the difference, but his heart told him to trust the man at his side. He looked back to his father, the shadows of the bars painted across his face reinforcing his captivity. He and his father had often been at odds over the years, but Daniel had never questioned the man's integrity, his loyalty or their love each other. His father had always made him feel safe.

"Jack, please, let us have a few minutes." Jack pursed his lips and shook his head.

"Not going to happen, Daniel." He pointed at the man in the cell. "_That_ is a Goa'uld. Until we get Nirrti out of his head, you can't trust a word he says."

"Danny! Don't listen to him! Nirrti's _dead_! I saw her body myself! You saw the pictures! How could _I_ be her?" _God, Dad, I don't know what to do!_ Daniel wanted to believe him. Wanted to believe this was some horrible mistake. He stared into his father's dark eyes and couldn't help but wonder who was looking back at him.

"They tell me the Goa'uld can change hosts." Daniel wished he could wake up. This had to be a nightmare.

"Danny, please! You've got to believe me!" His father took another step toward the bars, but stopped just shy of the lines of light. "Your mother would have believed me." Daniel blinked in shock. He took a step backward before he realized he was moving. His reservations vanished in a heartbeat. Daniel went cold inside, his earlier rage distilled into icy determination, leaving his voice hard and cold.

"I'm done here, Jack. We can go now." Daniel turned on his heel and strode across the small room to the door, waiting while Jack released the lock and opened it again. Before leaving, Daniel turned back to the cell. "If you can hear me Dad, please trust me. I'm going to get you out of this. Just hang on for a while longer." The man in the cell smiled and Daniel knew his father had never borne that particular expression in his life. Then his eyes flashed with an inhuman light. Daniel shivered.

"Don't be silly, Lord Cascadia. Nothing of the host survives."

"They love saying that," Jack put his hand on Daniel's shoulder and pulled him toward the door, "even though they know it's not true." They let the guard back in and began their journey away from Daniel's nightmare. They walked in silence before Daniel found his voice.

"Tell me how this happened and how, how we save him." They left the narrow corridors behind and headed to the elevator. Daniel was completely lost. He really hadn't been paying attention on the way down.

"As to how it happened, don't know. We'll ask your Dad when he's himself again." Daniel watched Jack run his security card through the reader at the elevator. He'd said 'when he's himself again'. Jack sounded so certain. When the doors opened, they went in and Jack punched the number for the infirmary's floor. "As for how we're going to get Nirrti out of him, there's a lovely little planet called Cimmeria that we're going to take him to. Nice folks. My buddy Thor," Daniel still stumbled over the idea that these people had aliens for friends, "gave them this _wonderful_ device called Thor's Hammer. They go in, but only your Dad comes out." Daniel nodded. He wanted more information, but wasn't sure he could take it all in at the moment. "What tipped you off in there, anyway?" Daniel looked at Jack and shrugged.

"Dad would never have used Mom like that." It had taken years for his father to even mention his dead wife. Long years when Daniel would have gladly shared his grief, but that had been the one thing his father couldn't share. It had only been since the boys had started to ask questions about the family that he'd started to open up again. But even during the worst of their arguments, his father had never thrown his mother in Daniel's face.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Why did you let me?" There was no accusation in Daniel's question, just curiosity.

"Because I _know_ you. You're just like my Daniel. Once you get an idea in your head, there's no getting around you. Stubborn as a whole pack of mules." Jack looked down at the floor and Daniel sensed something was up.

"Speaking of your Daniel, where is he? I'd have thought he would have come with you." Jack's face grew still and he seemed to close in on himself. "He's all right, isn't he?"

"He's going to be fine." Daniel wasn't sure whom the other man was trying to convince.

"What happened?"

"Oh, nothing much. Nirrti thought it would be a _hoot_ to dose us with your drugs." The older man tried to make light of it, but the mention of the drugs hit all of Daniel's internal alarms.

"He drugged you _both_?" He tried to imagine himself and Jonathan _both_ suffering the effects of his fertility drugs. Daniel checked Jack for signs of injury, but didn't see any. Jack's words came back to him. _And when I've done this for you, there's something you've got to do for me._ Daniel looked over the control panel, but wasn't sure what he was seeing. "Can you stop this thing?" Jack hesitated and then hit a button on the panel. The elevator came to a halt. "Jack, tell me. Are you all right?" The other man looked uncomfortable.

"Me? Yeah, me, I'm good." Daniel crossed his arms and waited. "Look, Daniel got your stuff and I got Jonathan's." Jack's face flushed. Oh. Daniel closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. When he'd collected himself, he opened his eyes again to see Jack studying the floor.

"Jack," Daniel spoke softly, "are you and your Daniel," he paused, not sure what term would be appropriate here, "lovers?" Jack's discomfort seemed to grow. Daniel wasn't sure if that meant they were or weren't.

"Yes," Jack drew the word out, "and no." Daniel's eyebrows rose.

"What does that mean?" He had a feeling he knew what Jack wanted from him, but he had to know the whole situation if he was going to be any help at all.

"We, um," Jack put his hands behind his back and stood up straight as if drawing strength from the action. "We are, but it's a recent, um, thing." The man's hands buried themselves in his pockets as his shoulders slumped.

"Recent." Daniel sighed at Jack's nod. "So you hadn't," he waved his hand and let his voice trail off, again uncertain how to broach such a delicate subject with this familiar stranger.

"Uh, no." Again, Jack seemed to find the floor and their shoes fascinating.

"But now," again he let his words die out.

"Yep." Daniel's heart sank at Jack's one word response. He remembered what he'd been like when he first started taking the fertility drugs. He'd been so grateful that he and Jonathan had already been lovers for years. They'd enjoyed rough sex on occasion, but he'd been so out of control those first few times it had scared him afterward. He'd felt so guilty he hadn't been able to touch Jonathan for weeks after. In those days, Jonathan had been in much better shape than he was now. He'd been able to help Daniel restrain himself some and had been able to take it when things got out of control. It had taken Daniel years to develop the level of control he had now. But he was still terrified when faced with a virgin.

Jose had nearly broken off their betrothal when Daniel insisted they make love a few times prior to using the drugs for conception. It wasn't until Jonathan explained things to him that he understood that it was for his own safety. He was still sometimes terrified of being with Ian. Ian was so much smaller, seemed so much more fragile, even though he knew he wasn't. Daniel had started to consider that maybe it would be better if they were all together during the matings. Maybe the other two could restrain him before he hurt whoever he was impregnating. Daniel ran his hands over his face roughly. He felt the anger building again. _Goddamn Nirrti!_ He wanted to wrap his hands around her neck. An image of his father laughing as he played with his grandsons flashed through his mind. Daniel clasped his hands behind his neck and squeezed. Dropping his arms, he wrapped them around himself and tried to focus on the matter at hand.

"Daniel? You okay?" Jack's voice startled him.

"Yeah." Who was he kidding? "No." Daniel shook his head. He didn't feel like he'd ever be okay again. "I will be." Jack managed to produce a quick smile in spite of his obvious discomfort over the situation. "Look, I have some idea of what you both must have gone through." He eyed Jack again. The man had been walking and moving easily. He certainly didn't look injured and no matter how capable he was physically, his Daniel was bigger and stronger. "I would have expected that you would be," he cleared his throat, "in some pain right about now. Um, why aren't you?" Before Jack could answer an alarm went off.

"Crap!" Jack slapped at the panel and the elevator started again. Apparently they'd been stopped too long. "Saved by the bell." Daniel must have shown his confusion at the unfamiliar phrase. "Don't ask me, I have no idea where that came from." He started to say something else, but didn't. Daniel heard it anyway. _Ask Daniel._

When the elevator stopped, Jack all but dragged him into an isolation room. Daniel studied it for a moment then decided it wasn't the same one they'd been in before. Jack looked around suspiciously for a moment as if he was trying to see if he recognized it. Apparently, whatever he'd been expecting wasn't there and he relaxed as he closed the door behind them. "Before we visit Daniel, we need to talk." He grabbed a chair and gestured to Daniel to find a place to sit. Once settled, Jack began, haltingly at first, to tell him what had happened. Daniel knew he was leaving out quite a bit, but a lot of what Jack didn't say, Daniel was able to fill in. He listened to Jack's story calmly, trying to remember all the things the counselors had told them over the years. The other Daniel's disassociation sent a shiver down Daniel's spine. That could so easily have been him. _ Could_ be him. He set that to one side and refocused on the other man. One thing at a time.

When Jack got to his Daniel's manipulation of Jose and Ian, though, Daniel's calm shattered. "He did _what_?" His voice thundered through the room as he surged to his feet and started pacing angrily. That bastard _touched_ them! He _kissed_ them! Daniel picked up the chair he'd been sitting in and threw it across the room. The loud crash and the clatter that followed were satisfying, but it wasn't enough. Jack was standing now and in his fury Daniel grabbed him like he had in the corridor and slammed him against the wall like he had before. "What else did he do?" He jolted Jack against the wall again. "Did he fuck them? Did he impregnate them?" Daniel had always wondered what it meant when someone 'saw red', but now he knew. He wanted to kill the man who'd dared to touch _his_ consorts. _His_ husbands. In his absence, anyone would do. They were _his_ and _no_ one touched them! Suddenly Jack moved and before Daniel knew what was happening, their positions were reversed except that his cheek and shoulders were being pressed against the concrete. His glasses were askew on his face and one arm was held cruelly behind his back. He struggled and cursed but couldn't break Jack's grip. Daniel finally stilled, panting with effort.

"It's a good thing my system's clear of the drugs cuz I'm betting yours isn't. Whadaya think?" The drugs. _Oh, god!_ What kind of monster was he? "What do you feel right now!" Jack shouted at him and Daniel struggled again, but the man's iron grip didn't lessen. "Possessive? Someone touched _your_ men? Your _property_? Is _that_ how you think of them? You _own_ them?"

"NO! God, _NO_! I love them! I," Daniel gasped for breath. He didn't own them! They loved each other.

"It was the drugs! Daniel's pheromones were all over the place! The guys figured it out! The stuff in their drugs make them susceptible to _your_ pheromones! It's like an addiction! They could no more resist _Daniel_ than they can resist _you_!" It was as if all the air had been sucked from the room. Daniel knew he wasn't breathing and his heart felt like it would burst. Addiction. Addiction. The word ran circles in Daniel's mind. They were addicted to him. They didn't love him. He was nothing more than a narcotic to them. Air rushed into his lungs and he sagged against the pressure holding him up. Jack shifted his grip and helped lower Daniel to the floor when his knees refused to hold him any longer. Daniel folded his legs up in front of him, wrapped his arms around them and buried his face in his knees. Strong arms wrapped around him. He started to pull away, he didn't deserve comfort, but he couldn't do it. The happiness Daniel thought he'd created for himself and his family had come crashing down around him and he couldn't face it alone.

"Addicted." He choked the word out. "They're addicted to me?" Even Jonathan. How could even Jonathan still love him? Daniel had brought other men into their home. Taken them to his bed. Fathered children on them. He'd been with countless men, strangers. He'd _prostituted_ himself. He'd always told himself it was because he didn't want to upset their _happy_ home. _I am such a fool!_ That was just a way to have as many men as he could. Mark _them_! Own _them_! How could even Jonathan still love him? He thought back to one morning not long before this nightmare started. Jonathan's words echoed in his mind. _After all, you're the heir to the House of Jackson, one of the few fertile men in this district._ That was it. That was the sum total of their relationship now. Everything else was nothing more than drug induced desire and three men making the most of having to live with the _monster_ he'd become. Daniel sobbed. His babies. He couldn't be near them anymore. Couldn't subject them to what he was. The arms around him pulled him closer and soon he was being rocked.

"Shh, Danny, it's not what you think." Jonathan's voice was gentle. Daniel buried his face in his husband's shoulder, but it felt wrong, too angular, too hard. He stiffened and started to pull away. Jack, not his Jonathan. Never his Jonathan again.

"Sorry, sorry." He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Daniel had no idea where his glasses were. He looked around for them, not because he cared about finding them, but it gave him something to do other than look at Jack. "Did I, did I hurt you?"

"Oh, please. I've had paper cuts worse than that." Daniel nodded. Something tapped him on the arm. Jack held his glasses for him. Daniel took them and put them on. His hands were shaking so badly, he almost couldn't. He shifted, putting a little distance between them and sat back against the wall. The concrete was cold and it started to seep into his bones matching the chill in his soul.

"Thank you, for, for telling me." Daniel's voice was hoarse and thick. He didn't recognize it as his own. "I needed to know."

"Didja now. And just what do you think you know?" Daniel glanced quickly at Jack, stunned by his nonchalance. It was times like this when the reality that this was an entirely different universe sunk in. Still, the man deserved an answer and Daniel didn't deserve the comfort of silence.

"About the drugs. That the only reason they're," he couldn't bring himself to say their names, "with me is because of the drugs. Their," he swallowed, "addiction." A strangled croak came from Jack and he whacked Daniel's arm with the back of his hand.

"I knew it! I knew you'd find a way to make this your fault!" Jack shifted over and mirrored Daniel's position against the wall. "What _is_ it with you Daniels, anyway?" Daniel was confused. The man might just as well be talking about the latest grape crop. "For a bright guy, bright _guys_, you can both be amazingly dense!"

"What?" He felt like he was having a conversation with one of the boys. Three-year- olds were remarkably adept at making adults feel like idiots.

"If I know my Daniels, and I do, you think you're what, a monster?" Jack reacted again to that word. Before Daniel could ask, the other man continued more softly, "Daniel, my Daniel, called himself that earlier." Jack looked down at his hands and then made eye contact with Daniel. He couldn't endure those familiar brown eyes and Daniel looked away. "Look at me, Danny." Reluctantly, Daniel obeyed. "I don't have a _clue_ what you've been through all these years." Jack cocked his head, "Well, maybe a little one." The man's forehead creased in thought. He looked just like Jonathan for that moment, hair color not withstanding. "Did we tell you about the Touched?" Daniel shook his head.

"No, I don't think so."

"Never mind. Tell you later. The point is, I may not know exactly what you and _my_ Daniel went through, but I can tell you something about your guys." Daniel ducked his head again. Calloused fingers touched his chin and tipped it up so he was looking into those eyes again. "When things started to get," Jack cleared his throat, "intense last night, do you think I objected?" Daniel's face burned with shame. He didn't want to hear this. "Do you? Never mind, you're going to hear it anyway. No objections. Not one. I _wanted_ it! I wanted it as much as he did. And you know what?" Jack lowered his voice, "It was the best sex I've ever had in like, _ever_!" Daniel tried to turn away, but the insistent fingers were back, preventing him. "And you know what else?" Jack's voice took on a familiar, warm tone, "Right now, not a drop of that crap in my veins, I love _my_ Danny even more than I did yesterday." Daniel felt tears welling up in his eyes. He wanted to hear this from his loves, but didn't think he ever would again. "I wish I could shout it from the rooftops, but I'd rather stay out of prison, so I'd appreciate it if that didn't leave this room."

"I'd n-never do anything to hurt you, Jack. I'm sorry. I know none of this would have happened if you hadn't helped us." Guilt warred with the joy of knowing his daughter would live. If the souls of every fertile man in his world were the price of their daughters' lives, then so be it.

"I know you wouldn't, Danny. Neither of you would ever hurt anyone if there was another way. Trust me on this, I've seen it over and over again. Too many times, if you must know. You Daniels sacrifice everything if that's what it takes to save someone else." Jack looked away and scanned the room like he had when they first entered. "This isn't the one."

"Sorry?"

"Isolation room. This isn't the one," Jack rubbed his face, "the one Daniel died in." Daniel figured he must have heard wrong. "It was over a year ago. We were on a planet, oh, who cares what the fuck the bastards call it now." There was venom in Jack's voice. "They were working on a really nasty weapon and things got out of control." Jack stared into space. "Daniel broke into the room, knowing full well what would happen, and disarmed it with his bare hands." Jack rubbed one of his hands, as if remembering something. "The burns were bad even when he was still up and walking around." Daniel didn't remember any scarring on his counterpart's hands. "Ever hear of radiation poisoning?" Daniel felt the blood drain from his face. He couldn't speak, just nodded. He'd heard of it. Jonathan had told him about the experiments in nuclear power that had gone wrong. "Yeah. Well." Jack's voice was flat now. "If _Daniel_ hadn't made such a good impression on this alien we'd run into once, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation. As it was, he was gone for a year." Jack rubbed his hands briskly on his thighs as if trying to scrub away the feelings he was experiencing. "The point is, you Daniels take on the world without _ ever_ thinking about what it might do to you. You think you're expendable." Now hard brown eyes sought his and Daniel almost flinched under their uncompromising gaze. "Get this through your head. You. Are. Not. Expendable. Not replaceable. Not a burden. _Not_ a monster."

"Jack." This was too much. Too much to absorb in one sitting. Jack wasn't talking about him. He was talking about the other Daniel. The other Daniel who he might have been. Daniel shook his head in denial that he was anything like this other person.

"Aht! Don't start. You forget, I'm Jonathan O'Neill. Not your Jonathan, but might as well be in all the ways that really matter." Jack seemed to stop and rewind his words. The result seemed to please him and Daniel couldn't hold back a quick smile at the familiarity. "Where was I? Oh, yeah. I may not be _your_ Jonathan, and if you don't mind my saying, I'm just as glad not to be since I'm not sure about the whole pregnant thing, but I know what a Jonathan in love looks like when I see me. I mean one. _Him!_" Jack looked like he was going to continue trying to explain, but Daniel didn't think he could take it.

"I get it, Jack." He really was another Jonathan. "You're saying that Jonathan's still in love with me even though,"

"There _is_ no 'even though'!" The endearing exasperation made Daniel smile a little until something occurred to him.

"Are you sure you weren't just seeing yourself in him?"

"God, it's like talking to a brick wall! Don't you get it? There was no _us_ until we saw _you_! It was seeing you two together that made us realize that an _us_ could exist." Now Jack smiled tenderly as if remembering something. "And _us_ was so easy." Tenderness gave way to sadness. "But there won't _be_ an us unless _you_ can get through to my Daniel." Jack got to his feet, wincing when his knees cracked in protest. Daniel followed him up, swaying a little at the sudden change in position. "Daniel's in the infirmary. He won't talk, won't eat, just lies there, staring at the wall. He's muttered a few words to the nurses, but he isn't even noticing I'm alive." Jack looked deep into his eyes. "I'm losing him, Daniel. I can't lose him. Not again." Daniel shoved his own worries aside. Maybe his life with his Jonathan was over and maybe it wasn't, but he couldn't stand by and do nothing to help _this_ Jonathan keep his Daniel.

"I'll do what I can, Jack, but I don't know how much good I'll be."

"Just don't think of him as yourself." Jack headed to the door. "Knowing you Daniels, you'd both end up heading into an incoming wormhole." Daniel wasn't quite certain what that meant, but from his tone of voice, it didn't sound good.

"I'll do my best." He fell into step beside Jack. "When I'm through, I need you to tell me all about Thor's Hammer."

"No problem. I'll tell you all about it when we bring your dad home." Jack nodded to one of the people they passed.

"No, I need you to tell me first." They stepped to the side of the corridor to let a gurney with a patient on it go by. Daniel followed Jack to another doorway.

"Why?" Jack looked back over his shoulder as he went in.

"Because I'm going with you."

* * *

  
Daniel floated. He was warm and comfortable. Slowly, noises began to register. Beeps, low, indistinct voices, the sounds of people moving purposefully around him. Recognition followed along with a throbbing pain in his head. _Infirmary._ He felt muddled and confused as disturbing snatches of dreams came back to him. As he left sleep's safe haven behind, his mind filled with horror. The 'dreams' came back in full force and Daniel identified them for what they were. Memories. His eyes flew open while his heart pounded in counterpoint to his throbbing head with the beeping nearby keeping time like a crazed metronome. Bright lights sent pain stabbing through his head and he slammed his eyes shut. Daniel groaned and instantly wished he hadn't. Once they knew he was awake, someone would come. He'd have to face someone, talk to him or her and he couldn't. Couldn't look anyone in the face knowing what he'd done. The sharp scents of the infirmary faded, replaced by something noxious and darkly familiar. He tasted bile and began to gag. Hands moved him quickly to his side as he dry heaved a few times.

"Do you think you're finished?" Lieutenant Rogers helped him lie back again. Daniel kept his eyes screwed shut. "Doctor Jackson? Can you open your eyes, sir?" The nurse spoke loudly, too loudly for Daniel's comfort. He started to shake his head, but decided that was a bad idea.

"Hurts." He whispered the word and hoped she could hear him.

"Can you tell me what hurts, sir?" Why wouldn't she go away? Why wouldn't she leave him alone?

"Head." _Please just go away!_ He wanted to yell at her, but didn't want to set his stomach off again. Sounds assaulted his ears, Daniel tried to tell himself they were nothing to fear, but they filled him with fear and loathing and a desperate need to protect himself.

"Do you know where you are?" The nurse persisted in her questioning.

"Infirmary." Daniel hoped that's what he said. His mouth didn't seem to want to cooperate and he was having difficulty focusing on what she wanted. His mind was too busy taunting him with memories of his crimes; too busy keeping track of whatever was hunting him.

"Doctor Frasier will be here in just a moment, sir. We'll see what we can do about your headache when she gets here." _God, no!_ He felt panicked at the thought. Janet would have treated Jack. Even if he hadn't told her who did it, Janet's not stupid. She would have figured it out.

"Sir, please, you need to calm down. You're safe, now. You're going to be fine." Daniel couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or cry at that. He was never going to be fine again. He knew he'd have to deal with what happened eventually, but he couldn't face it yet. It had cost him the most important thing in his life. It had cost him Jack. He wasn't sure how he was going to be able to keep going this time.

First, he had to figure out what was causing the stench. It coiled in his mind and tapped into his memory. The Benton's basement. He'd dealt with and put it aside decades ago. Of all the things to resurface why did it have to be _that_ and why now? He was torn between wanting to close his eyes and escape into sleep and wanting to keep them open to make sure the lights were on and he was able to defend himself. Daniel forced himself to keep his eyes closed. The light hurt his head and he kept telling himself over and over that there were no rats, but overlying the normal antiseptic smells of the infirmary lay the dank, sour smell of a poorly tended basement. If he kept his eyes closed, he didn't have to see if Jack was in the next bed. Didn't have to face the accusation, the hatred he'd see there. But keeping them closed brought the memories to full life. Maybe Janet would sedate him and the choice would be taken from him. He wasn't sure he had what it took to ask her for it. Sleep brought dreams and there was no escape from them. Approaching heels clicking on concrete made him start and the sound pounded through his head. He toyed with the idea of pretending to sleep, but he could hear the heart monitor beeping away much too quickly. Janet would never buy it. Daniel lay still, waiting out the tortured moments while Janet spoke quietly with the nurse. It would be his turn next, if he wanted it or not.

"Daniel? Can you hear me?" Janet kept her voice low, apparently the nurse had told her about his headache.

"Yes." He grunted the word out through jaws clinched with pain that was getting worse by the moment. Even the light through his closed eyelids was agonizing.

"Rogers said you had a bad headache. One to ten, Daniel." A cool hand on his wrist told him Janet was checking his pulse. Janet was there. No matter what she knew about him, she was safe. She'd fought to treat Apophis, she wouldn't harm anyone under her care. He waited until she released him and patted his wrist. The light shining through his eyelids dimmed and Daniel felt a flood of shame as his near panic reasserted itself.

"Fifteen." He hoped she heard him, because he didn't think he could speak any louder without screaming.

"I need you to open your eyes for a moment so I can check your pupils, then we'll see about something for the pain."

"Blackmail." He managed the word as he opened his eyes halfway. He had to keep up the façade. The more normally he behaved, the less likely he'd be faced with endless meddling from some psychologist. They were generally pretty easy for him to fool, but Janet was another story. The lights were still on, but she'd dimmed the one right over his head. He decided he could handle that. The shadows weren't that dark and the ward was still well lit, overall. He wasn't alone, either. But every sudden sound made him jump. He was wired and he needed to get a handle on that before it landed him somewhere he never wanted to go again.

"Okay, given your photosensitivity at the moment, this is going to hurt, but I need to assess your condition before I prescribe anything. The lab results from your blood tests should be in soon." The flare of the penlight sent shards of pain slicing through Daniel's head. He couldn't hold back his pained groan. "Doctor Caruthers told me what he sedated you with and gave me a quick rundown on the drugs you were probably given. The Colonel brought back the glasses you two drank from and Doctor Caruthers offered to assist with the testing since he knows what to look for." She flicked off her instrument of torture and Daniel slid his eyes shut in relief. Her words barely registered. The dark induced panic had waned during the exam but it threatened to return almost immediately. Daniel breathed deeply, trying to get control of himself when he finally made sense of what she'd said. _ Doctor Caruthers told me, Doctor Caruthers told me._ Devon had come back with them!

"Shot him." Daniel forced his eyes open. "Shot Devon." He raised his head and blinked, trying to see her as clearly as possible through the pain and without his glasses. "Tell him." Daniel gripped the sheets and rode out the waves of pain caused by moving, the dim light around his bed and the effort of speaking. "Sorry. Sorry. Tell him." Janet put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back onto the bed.

"Take it easy, Daniel. He told me what happened." _Oh, god, no!_ "He understood that you weren't yourself and he's fine. He doesn't blame you, he's just worried about you. If anything he feels guilty for what happened."

"Not his fault. Mine." Daniel gasped and pressed his hands to his head. He had to stop talking. It was making the pain worse, making it harder to control the panic.

"I'll pass along the message and we can discuss that later. Right now, I'm going to put a cool cloth on your head and see if that helps the pain, okay?" Daniel moved his hands to his sides and felt the pain recede slightly as the promised cloth was laid on his forehead. "Thank you nurse, let me know as soon as the lab sends his results up." Janet remained silent for a moment, then she moved closer to his head and lowered her voice as if to keep anyone else from hearing her. "The Colonel told me that you were having some problems earlier with being in the dark. Can you tell me if that's still something we need to consider, Daniel?" He opened his eyes a little. He had to see her for this, despite the pain. Janet wore her usual expression when he was in her infirmary. There was none of the revulsion he felt, no hint of approbation. Somehow, she didn't know everything. If she did, she wouldn't be able to look at him like he was someone worthy of her concern. Daniel tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry and he only succeeded in making himself cough, which compounded the pain in his head. She helped him raise his head a little and then brought a glass of water to his lips. He gulped down a couple of swallows and then turned his head away. Any more and he feared it would come back up. She was still waiting for his answer, one hand gently rubbing his shoulder. Her touch seemed to help and the almost unendurable pain backed off a little more.

"Yes. Old stuff." Daniel was panting between the phrases. He hoped she'd chalk it up to his headache and not fear. He analyzed every small sound, waiting for the rats to come out of their holes. He _knew_ there weren't any there, but he couldn't stop listening for them anyway. "Go away again. After." He hoped he was making more sense than it sounded like to him.

"Daniel, you're exhibiting some signs of post-traumatic stress. Can you tell me if this is related to the 'old stuff'? Did you experience it when it happened?" Jack had called her a Napoleanic power-monger, but Daniel always thought of her as more of a bulldog. Once she got her teeth into something, Janet never let go. Daniel really needed her to let go of this.

"Don't know." Daniel tried to remember what had happened after that last time in the basement, but it was hazy. The next placement had been with the Ambersons, but he'd been back in the county home for a little while first. He'd been in and out of there quite a few times and they all ran together. He realized he probably didn't want to remember it. "Maybe." It was so long ago and his time with the Ambersons had been good. He'd felt safe there. "Long time ago."

"Okay, we'll deal with it if it continues to be a problem. For now, we could move you into one of the isolation rooms." The pain flared again and Daniel's heart pounded.

"No!" He spoke too loudly and felt the water he'd swallowed sitting uncomfortably on his stomach. "Please. Want to stay here."

"Easy, easy, Daniel." The hand on his shoulder patted him and the other one took his hand and squeezed. It had the desired effect and he calmed a little. "It's okay, I won't move you if you don't want to go. Don't want to be alone?" His face flushed as he squeezed her hand in response. He felt like a fool. He was a grown man in what was arguably the most dangerous job on the planet and he was grateful because he didn't have to be alone or in the dark. There was something else he was afraid of, but he had to know. Maybe knowing would make dealing with the rats easier.

"Jack?"

"I released him a little while ago. He was going to report to the general and then I expect he'll be parked in that chair again, getting in the nurses' way." She smiled as she nodded to the other side of his bed. He turned his head slightly, wincing at the pain the motion caused and saw one of the hard plastic infirmary chairs pushed up against the wall next to his bed.

"Doctor? Here are Doctor Jackson's lab results." Rogers was back and she handed Janet a clipboard.

"Thank you, nurse." Daniel closed his eyes and ignored them. Jack wasn't hurt? Hope began to creep in. Was he confusing nightmares with memories? "Well, Daniel, it seems the healing device cleared most of the fertility drugs out of your system. There are still some lingering traces as well as some from the sedative." Janet rambled on but Daniel wasn't listening any more. What healing device? Had Nirrti gotten lose? Why had he healed them? So much of what he thought he remembered was still muddled. He _knew_ he'd raped Jack. The sense memory was too strong to have been just part of a nightmare, no matter how much he wished it could be. But the rest. The weird sensation of talking with a separate part of himself. One part wanting to die, planning to die but needed to clean up his mess, first. Even if it meant killing the others to _protect_ them. The other just wanted Jack however he could have him. That was nightmarish, insane, but so clear. Much clearer than anything else he'd done, or might have done.

"Healing device?" Daniel opened his eyes; he couldn't talk about this without seeing her. He had no idea what Janet had been saying, but she stopped talking and took his hand again before leaning towards him.

"Yes, Daniel. Their Jacob showed up. He's Tok'ra there, as well. He used the healing device to help clear you both of the drugs, but he couldn't manage it completely. The Colonel says his knees haven't felt this good in years." She chuckled and shook her head. "I think you three are going to have your hands full on your next mission." Next mission. Janet talked as if nothing had changed. Daniel had to figure out what was real and what wasn't. He had to know before he could face Jack. If they'd been dreams, he'd have to keep that to himself. He'd have to deal with that and never let Jack know what lurked in the dark corners of his mind. If he could do that, then maybe there was hope for them after all, but he needed time. "Daniel?" He jumped a little at the sound of Janet's voice. He thought it might not have been the first time she'd said his name. "I'm going to give you something for the pain. I'd like to give you something for your anxiety, too, but I'm limited in what I can use because of the other drugs still in your system. Doctor Caruthers told me that most of their pain meds don't react well with the fertility drugs, so we're going to err on the side of caution. I need you to let someone know if you feel nauseous or anything else out of the ordinary, okay?"

"'Kay." Daniel wasn't sure what ordinary was any more. Janet efficiently injected something in his IV and then handed the syringe back to the nurse who left with it. "I've got to go take care of some things, but if you need me, just have the nurse get me." She rubbed his shoulder again and he felt his headache start to ease up some. He didn't know if it was her touch or whatever she'd given him, but it was better. "The Colonel will be here soon, so if he bothers you too much, just tell me and I'll threaten him with something sharp." She grinned and with a squeeze of his shoulder turned and left, her heels clicking on the concrete floor.

Daniel was cold. It was always cold in the basement. He carefully curled onto his side, facing the wall, pulled the blanket up to his chin and rode out the renewed pain. It wasn't quite as bad as it had been, but it was still there. The sounds of people moving and talking behind him provided some comfort, but he could still smell the Benton's basement. This was familiar. Bit by bit he started to remember those weeks after he'd been taken from the Benton's. He knew he'd been hospitalized for a while, but never really thought much about it. It hadn't been important to him. For a while there had been nightmares, but they'd started to fade in the familiar surroundings of the country home and then at the Amberson's they went away completely. He'd gotten through it when he was ten; he could get through it now. He just had to remember how.

Daniel stared at the wall and forced himself to go through his mental storage. He pictured himself in his office, sorting through files, touching bits of his childhood and then putting them aside when they were the wrong ones. Soon, his headache was forgotten. He rubbed his lips with a thumb and started when a memory from the hospital sprang clearly into his mind. Daniel tucked both thumbs firmly into his fists and nestled them under his chin. He decided that at thirty-nine he didn't need _all_ the coping mechanisms he'd employed at ten. Chair legs scraping on concrete startled him. _It's a chair. They always sound like that. It's nothing to be afraid of. I'm safe here._ He purposefully ignored whoever was sitting near him now. He knew it had to be Jack, but he couldn't handle that at the moment. He had to deal with this first. More memories from the hospital rushed in. Therapists talking to him and him ignoring them. He'd done then just what he was doing now. Pulled back into himself to work out what was wrong. They'd told him over and over that he was safe and that nothing would hurt him in the hospital and they'd been right. He'd finally started talking again when he couldn't smell the basement anymore. Daniel focused on the smells around him, trying to replace the illusion of rot with the reality of sharp antiseptic and the military issue fabric softener on his bedding.

The person in the chair got up and Daniel heard him walk a short distance away to speak with someone. He incorporated their familiar voices into his attack on the illusion. Jack and Janet hadn't been in the basement, so he couldn't be there, either. That was what he'd learned in the hospital. Don't focus on the things that were the same like the chill in the air. Daniel's stomach rumbled. He pushed that aside as well. He'd been hungry then, too, but that had been the hunger of many missed meals not the relatively benign feeling he experienced now. He forced himself to focus on the things that were different, like Jack and Janet and clean sheets and a warm blanket. He let their voices wash over him, barely registering their words. Bits and pieces filtered through to him, but they were meaningless. _...just staring...traumatic...happened...unresponsive...days._ A touch on his shoulder made him jump. He panted through the panic and realized someone was talking to him.

"Daniel? Can you hear me?" Janet. It was Janet's warm hand on his shoulder, not the cold sharp claws of a rat.

"Yes." When had his voice gotten so high pitched?

"That's good." Janet patted his shoulder. She'd probably have taken his hand if he hadn't kept them tucked up safely out of the way. "The colonel's here to see you, would you like to talk with him?" The stench of the basement still permeated everything. How was he supposed to talk to Jack with that in his nose?

"No." _Please, Janet, don't ask me to explain._

"Do you want him to go?" Daniel thought of seeing the empty chair out of the corner of his eye and knew he didn't want Jack to go. Jack could help him. If Jack were sitting there calmly, then Daniel couldn't be in any danger. Even if Jack hated him, he wouldn't let the rats get him.

"N-no." Daniel breathed the word out. He needed Jack. Needed him more now than ever before. Jack's presence gave him hope that he was still willing to be there for Daniel. He understood that it was possible Jack was only there to make sure Daniel didn't tell anyone what had happened. If that's all Jack wanted, so be it, but Daniel would take what he could get and right now, he needed Jack with him, even if his caring was only another illusion.

Time passed while Daniel fought his demons. Bit by bit, he built up the image of what was real in his mind, forcing the illusion into the shadows. At times he felt disconnected from his body and that was a relief. During those periods there was no pain, no hunger, no fear. He almost wished he could just stay there where it was safe, but that way lay madness and while he might have lost everything else dear to him, he couldn't afford to lose himself. Lingering in the back of his mind was the slim hope that he and Jack could find their way through what had happened and come out the other side still together. That alone was worth fighting for.

Sometimes he heard the water dripping from the pipe overhead until he remembered that was from the basement, not the infirmary. The rats were always lurking in every squeaky gurney wheel, every clink of metal on metal. Sometimes his bed shifted and changed into the boxes he'd climbed onto to get off the damp floor. Every time the illusion broke through, he'd painstakingly replace it with the reality of the infirmary. Jack spoke to him from time to time, but Daniel didn't allow himself to be distracted from his task. His voice was welcome, though. Daniel thought of it as a soundtrack, helping to reinforce the here and now. Someone, he thought it might have been Sam, came by and took Jack's place. He'd have to remember to tell them how grateful he was that they hadn't left him alone. A rat ran across his ankles and he jerked, pulling his knees up closer to his chest, tucking his feet up as close to his body as possible. When the panic subsided, he realized someone, maybe Sam, had laid a second blanket over him. That had been the touch he'd felt, not the monsters from his childhood. Slowly, he again pushed the basement and the water and the gnawing hunger and the rats back to where they belonged and he heard his heart monitor echo his success.

More voices. He ignored what they said, just listened to the music of their tones. Jack was back and Daniel felt himself relax a little more. Another voice joined his and his relative calm shattered. The chair scraped against the floor again and now he smelled the musky odor of rats. A face appeared between himself and the wall. _His_ face.

"Daniel? Jack thought I might be able to help you." A hand, _Danny's_ hand reached for him and all of Daniel's work came crashing down around him. A rat landed on his shoulder and Daniel screamed. He batted at it and rolled away to escape the others that had found their way up on the boxes. It was so dark; he couldn't see the edge until he was on it. Daniel hit the dank, filthy floor and scooted under the pipes to get away. He had to find a place where he could protect himself until someone let him out. He jammed himself into the corner of the basement and curled up as tightly as he could so they couldn't bite his face, but they followed him. They climbed all over him, stronger than he'd thought possible. They started to pull him from his safe haven. He closed his eyes, remembering Mr. Benton's warning that rats liked to eat little boy's eyes. "Get off me! Get off! Help me! Somebody help me! Get them off!" Daniel screamed and sobbed and batted at the rats that seemed to be getting bigger. A voice called to him, over and over and Daniel risked looking to see who was there. To see if it was someone who'd help him or not.

"Daniel! Daniel, it's me! It's Jack. There's nothing there, you're safe." Jack's hands were gripping his arms. Daniel looked around, confused. He wasn't in the basement and Jack was there. He shuddered at the memory of feeling rats all over him, pulling at him.

"Jack?" _Be real. Please be real._

"Right here, big guy." He pulled Daniel into his arms and suddenly Daniel felt better than he had since he woke up. The sour smell was still there, but the longer Jack held him the more it faded. He could smell the other man's spicy aftershave and slowly it replaced the dank odor that had overlaid everything else. _This_ was real. His head sank against Jack's chest and he listened to his lover's heartbeat. Daniel felt drained. Jack rubbed his back and murmured to him. _This_ was real, not the basement, not the smell, not the damned rats. "That was one helluva flashback, buddy."

"Flashback?" Daniel tried out the word. Was that what he'd had? He ran through what Janet had said earlier. Post-traumatic stress. He'd had a flashback. That's what all this was.

"Oh, yeah. Had a few myself. You ready to get back into bed?" Daniel shook his head against Jack's chest. "No problem, we can stay here for a little while." Jack settled down a little more and pulled Daniel more securely against him. Daniel gripped the other man's shirt with one hand and relaxed, feeling safe for the first time in hours. "Hey, doc, wanna clear these people out of here?" Daniel didn't look up to see Janet's reaction. He was already feeling embarrassed enough without having to face her right away. He yawned wishing he could fall asleep in Jack's arms, right there on the floor.

"Thanks, Jack." Jack kissed the top of his head briefly and Daniel smiled. The crowd must be gone. No matter what else happened, at least Jack wasn't going to hang him out to dry. They might never be lovers again, but that brief kiss told him Jack still cared, _ that_ was no illusion.

"Wanna tell me what that was all about?" Daniel stiffened, then forced himself to relax. It was a little late to pretend he was fine, not after the entire infirmary witnessed Doctor Jackson wigging out.

"Um, rats." Probably not the full explanation Jack expected.

"Rats. Huh. Didn't know you had a thing about rats." Daniel smiled again against Jack's chest.

"I don't. Not any more." The chill from the floor was seeping into his bones, now, so Daniel decided it was probably time to face the music and get up. Besides, his feet were cold and he really wanted to lie down. Sitting up slowly, he reluctantly pulled himself from Jack's arms, but he couldn't look at him. "It was a long time ago, Jack." Any hope Daniel had that his friend would let him leave it at that died.

"Just don't start with 'once upon a time'." Jack stood easily and held out a hand to Daniel. "Way too cliché." He took it and got up a little more slowly.

"Janet said your knees were good." He glanced at Jack and caught a glimpse of a scowl.

"Don't change the subject, Daniel. Talk to me." Daniel sighed as he got back into bed. He'd have to go through at least some of it now. Rogers showed up immediately and grabbed his hand. He was startled to see blood all over it and the scrubs he was wearing. She quickly cleaned it and put a bandage over the still slowly oozing spot on the back of his hand. The nurse handed him a new scrub shirt and he quickly exchanged it for the bloody one. Rogers set about reconnecting him to the machines and he ignored her, staring at his hand. For a moment he thought he'd been bitten, but then he remembered the IV with relief. When she left he saw Jack and Janet still standing by his bed. "Not getting any younger here."

"Fine." They weren't going to let this go, and Daniel realized that maybe it would be easier if he spoke to them. Maybe it would help. One thing he hadn't been able to figure out is why it had come back like this. "I was about ten when I went to live with the Bentons. She was okay, but he was, um, not." That was putting it mildly. "She'd take off some weekends to visit her mother or something and then he'd get kinda mean." Jack's face had gone stone cold. Janet's was frozen in a professional mask. This was why Daniel rarely ever talked about his childhood. People's reactions were worse than the memory of anything that had happened after his parents died. "He didn't like me much and sometimes, when she left, he'd get drunk, get mad and, um," this was tougher than Daniel had expected. "He'd lock me in the basement."

"With the rats." If they'd been in the field, Daniel would be looking around to see whom Jack was planning to kill.

"Jack, he's already dead. You can't shoot him." His weak attempt at levity fell flat. "Anyway, long story short, at first it would just be for a few hours while he went out. Then, I guess he decided I handled being alone too well, so he started leaving the light off and I was too short to reach the string to turn it on again. Toward the end, he'd be gone for a day or two. Finally, someone, the oil guy, I think, heard me, called the cops and I never saw them again." There it was out. Daniel laid his head back and looked at them. Lying down felt good. Daniel felt muscles he hadn't realized were tense finally begin to relax. He felt like he'd been beaten. "What I don't understand is why it came back now."

"Repressed," Janet never got to finish her thought.

"No, that's my point!" Daniel sat up. "I didn't repress it! I dealt with it _then_." He looked back and forth between them. Jack looked frustrated, but Janet looked like she was deep in thought. "I've been on digs before where the rats were so bad we had to bring in dogs to deal with them and it was never a problem. Do you have any idea how dark an Egyptian tomb is?" He settled back again with a thump and pinched the bridge of his nose. His earlier headache was gone, but he worried a little that this would bring it back.

"Daniel, do you have any idea what triggered the flashback?" He shivered at the memory of seeing his imaginary self again.

"Um, I'd been having some, um," he cleared his throat not really wanting to say this, but knowing he had to, "hallucinations since I woke up." Jack's eyes opened wide and Janet glowered.

"We'll discuss the importance of reporting symptoms later. Are you still experiencing any hallucinations?" Daniel let the threat pass for the moment. He took a deep breath but there was nothing there but the usual smells he associated with the infirmary. A hint of Jack's aftershave warmed him. The clink of a tray on a table was just that. He shook his head.

"Nope, nothing. Everything's back to normal." Daniel paused, "but it shouldn't be should it. I mean, if this memory was so intrusive that I had a flashback from it, it shouldn't have gone away like this, should it?" Now he was worried that he was feeling normal. Only at the SGC. Even what he'd thought of as a sense memory of raping Jack had faded. Maybe that wasn't real, either. He pushed it away. He'd have to get Jack alone where they could talk before he'd try to deal with that. One way or another he had to know what had really happened and what he'd dreamed or hallucinated, but at least Jack didn't seem to hate him. That was something he could work with. That made all the difference.

"Ordinarily, no, a post-traumatic stress disorder episode doesn't resolve this easily. But, we're dealing with chemicals we don't have any experience with. The disassociation you experienced is apparently a known side effect. Perhaps this is, too. I'll speak with Doctor Caruthers and see what he says." She smiled at him and patted his arm. "Maybe it is over. Your body may have burned off enough of the chemicals during the past few hours to alleviate the symptoms. Your metabolism was running pretty high, but now," she gestured to the heart monitor the nurse had reconnected," your readings are much more normal. You said you were experiencing hallucinations, was there something in particular that set off the flashback?"

"Yeah." Someone had told her about his little excursion into split personality land. "I thought I saw, um, 'Danny'," he could hear the quotes he mentally put around the name, "and then _he_ called me Daniel and that was pretty much it." He just knew this was earning him a trip to MacKenzie's office. At least since the Machello thing, MacKenzie cut him a great deal of slack. Guilt had its uses.

"Daniel?" Jack looked a little guilty himself.

"Jack?"

"Not a hallucination."

"What?"

"Don't start that, you two." Janet had her hands on her hips and a stern expression on her face. "What the colonel is trying to tell you is that he brought the other Daniel, Lord Daniel, to see you."

"Oh." Daniel frowned at his friend.

"Hey, you were acting kinda weird," Daniel cut him off, getting a little angry.

"So you thought you'd bring in a virtual stranger for a visit?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Before Daniel could respond, Janet cut in.

"Daniel, you were virtually unresponsive and the colonel and I both thought it might be a good idea to have someone who'd had experience with taking the drugs speak with you." Daniel crossed his arms. He hated it when other people were being reasonable and he was ready for a good fight. "We had no idea what you were going through and thought he might be able to reach you."

"He reached me, all right." Even Daniel heard the faint pout in that remark. He really wished they could do this after a nap. He remembered his idea about making people think everything was normal. Now that everything _did_ feel normal, more or less, maybe it was time to revisit that strategy. "Look, I'm sorry I scared you. I was a bit confused about everything and the only thing I could think of was to try and deal with it the way I had before." The corners of Janet's mouth quirked up in an almost smile.

"That was actually a remarkably rational decision. Given your state of mind at the time, I'm impressed." Daniel mouthed 'thank you' at her and then turned an expectant face toward Jack.

"So the thing with your hands," Jack held one up with the thumb enclosed and tucked it under his chin, "that was because of the," he mouthed the word 'rats' looking quite uncomfortable with the whole thing. Daniel ducked his head and muttered his response.

"Not exactly, but I didn't think _that_ would help this time." He carried on in a more normal tone as he raised his head, "But that's neither here nor there, the point is I'm fine." He looked at Janet, pasted the most upbeat expression he could muster on his face and smiled at her, "Can I go back to work now?" Janet shook her head, but couldn't keep the grin off her face.

"No, Doctor Jackson, you may _not_ go back to work until I'm certain your system is clear of the drugs you were given." She beckoned to a passing nurse. "Evans, I need another blood draw from Doctor Jackson." Her orders given, she turned to Jack. "Colonel, if you have nothing better to do, perhaps you'd like to bring yourself and _my_ patient some lunch. At least that way I know you'll both eat." Daniel's stomach rumbled at the thought of food, then he yawned again. "Or maybe a nap would be better. I'd hate for you fall asleep in the special of the day." Food or sleep. He wanted both, but his eyes started to close involuntarily. "Okay, Daniel, why don't you try for a nap, first? If you can't sleep, I'll have a meal brought in. Your visitor can wait."

"Visitor?" That woke him up. Who wanted to see him? Daniel looked around the room and saw his counterpart speaking to a nurse near the doorway.

"He's very insistent. Something about a promise he made to the colonel," Janet didn't appear to be happy with the situation. Jack's expression dared Daniel to fight him on this, but Daniel was curious so he decided to let it slide, except for one thing.

"Hey, how come he gets released?"

"Seems like you got a bigger dose than I did."

"Lucky me." _Oh, yeah, lucky, lucky me._ Jack just grinned at him and started to amble away, his hands in his pockets. "Jack?" Daniel called to him. The least he could do since _he_ was free was bring him food. The infirmary staff seemed to think the only things a patient should eat were soup and jello. Daniel saw his counterpart from the other universe approaching Jack. He looked determined. "When I wake up, I expect lunch. If it's a choice between meatloaf and that chicken thing, I'll take the meatloaf."

"Don't blame you."

"And a brownie! _Two_ brownies!" If he was going to be stuck here, at least he could have chocolate. Jack held up two fingers in acknowledgment, waved at him, then turned back around and spoke to Lord Daniel as he grabbed his arm and dragged him along toward the corridor.

"In your dreams, Daniel." With that cryptic parting remark, Jack swept out of the infirmary with Daniel's counterpart, his real, not imaginary, counterpart in tow. Daniel relaxed into his bed and pulled the blanket up, yawning again. His _episode_ had worn him out. Janet shook her head and started to say something, so Daniel let his eyes close. Maybe he could avoid her comments on his diet if she thought he was sleeping. Anything she might have said was lost to him as he dropped off almost immediately.

* * *

  
"Jack, let me go!" Daniel pulled away from his husband's counterpart and glared angrily at him in the corridor. "I am going with you, so you might as well get used to the idea." He searched the other man's face for clues to his emotional state. He saw barely suppressed rage and hints of what could only be fear. Seeing Doctor Jackson's reaction to the fertility drugs had scared the older man badly. At first he thought the rage was directed at him until he realized it, too, was in response to his lover's distress. Daniel hadn't been close enough during his counterpart's episode to hear everything they discussed afterwards, but he caught a few words here and there. He caught enough to realize the other Daniel had been dealing with some horrific event from his childhood. Daniel now understood something of his alternate's reticence about the years following his parents' death.

"No, you're not." With that, Jack turned on his heel and stalked away, but Daniel hadn't spent a lifetime training as his father's heir to be thwarted in something he knew he had to do.

"Colonel," Daniel kept his voice cool and controlled, using the tone generally reserved, if rarely used, for obtuse underlings, "correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe you have final say on matters pertaining to foreign dignitaries." Daniel had always hated the arrogant pomp and nonsense that went with being the heir to both a Dukedom and a Great House. Sometimes, though, sometimes that training came in handy. He watched with smug satisfaction as the colonel stopped in his tracks and turned around to face him. His satisfaction faded a little at the closed look on Jack's face, but he didn't let it show. He'd come to like and respect this other O'Neill. He was so much like his own Jonathan that it hurt Daniel to see him unhappy. He didn't want it to be this way, but he had to be there for his father. Daniel had to _do_ something.

"What did you say?" Jack approached slowly and Daniel had the impression of a big cat preparing to strike. Standing his ground, Daniel raised his chin and managed to look down his nose at the taller man.

"I believe that General Hammond has final say in such matters on this base and even he can be overruled by his superiors." Daniel thanked Jonathan's confusion over how things could possibly work in a country without nobility. Doctor Jackson had answered their questions quite thoroughly.

"I should kick your ass right back through the mirror for this." Jack stood toe to toe with him and Daniel wondered for a moment if he was about to be struck. He remembered his father's patient voice reminding him to never let subordinates see him waver. He had to appear confident and in control at all times, especially when he knew he was on shaky ground. He could change his mind later after 'due deliberation' and 'consultation with his advisors', that showed wisdom, but he could never show weakness or he'd lose the respect of the people who looked to him for governance and support.

"Assaulting the representative of a foreign head of state would be unwise, don't you think, Colonel?" Perhaps he'd been unwise to allow these people to treat him so familiarly. He knew now that he'd been ill from the tainted drugs from the outset and then everything had happened so fast. Daniel still felt like he was walking on loose sand. He usually preferred to treat people as equals rather than subordinates. Daniel wondered how much of his success with people was due to himself or the fact that he treated people as equals when few in his position did. The obvious answer was something of a blow to his ego. It didn't help that he genuinely _liked_ these people. Liked them and respected them. He'd even been making private plans for beginning their own explorations through the stargate, though he knew he'd never be allowed to risk himself going through it. Guiltily, he realized he had an ulterior motive for going with them. He felt shame for envying the orphaned childless widower in the infirmary.

"So that's the way it's going to be, is it _Lord Cascadia_?" Jack sneered and managed to make his title sound like the filthiest insult Daniel had ever heard. For a split second, it was his Jonathan sneering at him and Daniel's breath caught in his throat. The moment passed and in his place he saw Jack, a man who seemed to ache with the need to protect his lover from a long gone past.

"I'm not him, Jack." Daniel whispered and wished they weren't standing in a corridor with people coming and going past them. Jack's expression flickered for a moment, but then hardened again. "I don't need to be wrapped in cotton and kept safe."

"But you're a 'dignitary', _Lord Cascadia_, so that's _exactly_ what we have to do. Can't have you breaking a nail, now can we?" _And I always thought Jonathan's bitchiness was hormonal._ Jack shook his head and turned back in the direction he'd started in.

"He's my _father_, Jack!" Daniel caught up with him, silently cursing his need to nearly jog to keep up with Jack's longer stride. "I have to be there for him." So much for throwing his weight around. Daniel should have realized that his position in his world would be meaningless here. He had to find something that would carry weight with _ this_ O'Neill. They stopped in front of the elevator when Daniel realized the only thing that might convince this man, who, Daniel realized, probably did have final say over who went with his team. "I'm a rich man, Jack." He held up one finger to forestall Jack's reply. From the look on the other man's face, he had exactly the wrong impression about where Daniel was going with his statement. "Wait. Hear me out. I'm a rich man. One of the wealthiest on the continent and likely one of the wealthiest on my planet. I would trade everything, _everything_ I have, everything except for my family, for the chance to do what your Daniel does." Jack's expression softened slightly and he looked down, avoiding Daniel's gaze. "But I don't have that option. I will _never_ have that option, even if we set up our own stargate program. I will _never_ be allowed to run the risks Doctor Jackson does." Daniel heard the bitterness that had crept into his voice.

"Look, Daniel," Jack stopped when the elevator opened and they stepped aside to let the occupants exit. Once inside, Jack stared at the control panel before punching the button for the level Jonathan was on.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be," Daniel felt a cold rage building inside. This was born not of the tainted drugs, but of the frustration of his circumstances. "To be _ caged_?" He finally had Jack's attention. "I used to travel all over the world. Jonathan and I have been to every continent, on every ocean. We've explored places that would have given my father a heart attack had he known I was there. Now," Daniel rarely let his frustration surface. There was no use. His life was his life and there was no way to change it, but he knew he'd always regret it if he let this one chance pass him by. "Now, I can't leave the district except to go to Portland on business and then only with an 'appropriate' escort. When the time comes, I'll be allowed to attend the Grand Council meetings in New Amsterdam, but that's it. And do you know _why_?" All the anger that had been building up for almost a decade was finally bubbling to the surface. Real anger, not drug induced. "Not because of anything _I_ accomplished. Oh, no. _I_ had to give up any meager career I might have been able to sandwich in between my other responsibilities when the plague hit. No, it's because I'm a _goddamned stallion_!" Daniel wished he could hit something. It was all he could do to not slam his fist into the wall of the elevator. Only the knowledge that he'd probably break every bone in his hand prevented it. A broken hand would make convincing Jack moot.

"Daniel," whatever the other man wanted to say, Daniel didn't want to hear.

"Don't! Just _don't_! My staff in Portland runs my domain. Ian runs my estate. Jonathan handles most of the business of the District and Jose is unofficial head of the Cascadia Security Force. Jonathan and Ian both still pursue the careers they used to have. Jonathan because power generation is still necessary and Ian because people need art now more than ever. _All_ I do, all I _am_ is a healthy set of balls!" In that moment, Daniel hated every man that had ever come to him. Hated their wary faces, hated their inevitable arousal, hated _his_ response to them. He even hated the men he shared his life with. Hated the freedom they had to retain some part of their former lives. Hated them for the care they took of him. Hated them for never having to face what he did. Hated himself for being nothing but a means to create a new generation. The only thing he'd ever had that was his was his mind and the unconventional education he'd fought for and even that had failed him when it came to trying to translate the invaders' language. _This_ universe's Daniel Jackson was even a better linguist. He hated the cruel circumstances that made his body the only thing he had that was actually important to anyone else.

"C'mon." Daniel looked up from where he'd been studying his shoes and saw Jack standing outside holding the elevator door open for him. He'd been so consumed by his thoughts he hadn't realized they'd stopped. Daniel followed Jack feeling useless and suddenly old, his anger gone. Nothing would change. His father would be returned while he waited, like a good little nobleman, for the _staff_ to do the dirty work. _Mustn't dirty my hands. Mustn't go anywhere without my bodyguards. Mustn't go into the wilds just because they speak some obscure language no one's ever recorded before. Oh, no, must stay home and do something important like reading harvest reports and the financial news._ He followed Jack, defeat consuming his soul. Daniel wasn't sure why he'd expected anything else. Even Jack could tell he wasn't worth the effort. The feelings he'd had when he first heard about his husbands' addiction to his pheromones rushed back with a vengeance. He was still getting flashes of memory from his breakdown in Ian's office. He finally realized what Ian had been talking about when he told Daniel how important he was to them. He was the devil they knew.

"We can talk here." Jack's voice brought Daniel out of his depressed musings. He looked up and realized they were in a storeroom of some kind. He hadn't noticed they hadn't been heading to their suite. Daniel had been avoiding thinking too much about how he was going to face Jonathan again. He couldn't decide which would be worse, facing Jonathan when he was awake, or facing Jose and Ian again. He glanced around the room they were in. Toilet paper and what looked like various cleaning supplies lined the shelves. Daniel had a brief thought that he'd be better off in here than in the relative luxury he shared with Jonathan. Just another of the unpleasant necessities of life.

"It doesn't matter, Jack. I won't make any trouble for you." Daniel crossed his arms and leaned tiredly against the wall. "I'm sorry for, um, well, for the scene I made. I guess I'm too used to getting my own way." Daniel shrugged. Thinking about what he'd said to the other man, he knew he'd sounded like a spoiled brat.

"Yeah, I heard." Daniel just nodded, still not looking at Jack. "Feeling kinda sorry for yourself, are you?" Daniel looked up sharply at the sarcastic tone.

"What difference does it make, Jack? You've won. You made it very clear that my presence isn't welcome or requied. I'll take Jonathan and the baby and we'll go home and wait for you to deal with Nirrti."

"Giving up, are you?" Daniel shrugged then put his back against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor with a gentle thud.

"What difference does it make? I have nothing to offer to your mission. I'm grateful to you for doing this at all." He rested his head against the concrete and forced himself to look at his companion.

"Oh, cut the crap, Daniel!" Jack strode to him, reached down and dragged him to his feet. "I _know_ my Daniel better than I know myself. That means I know _you_, too!" Daniel brought his arms up between Jack's and broke the other man's hold, irritated at his presumption.

"You know _nothing_ about me." Daniel straightened his shirt and turned to move away from Jack. The other man slapped his hand against the wall, his arm forming a barrier trapping Daniel in place.

"I know what it's like to be in a cage." Jack's voice was quiet, but the intensity made it more effective than a shout. "I know what it's like to have my life ripped apart." Daniel stayed where he was, feeling like a rabbit trapped by a wolf. "I know what it's like to feel like a failure. Useless. Surplus to requirements." Daniel closed his eyes and willed the other man to stop. "Daniel." Jack's voice changed and Daniel opened his eyes. "Look at me." Reluctantly, Daniel shifted until he was facing Jack again. Jack lowered his arm and put his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Do you remember the other realities we told you about? The ones being wiped out by the Goa'uld?" Daniel thought back and tried to remember those conversations. They were less than two weeks ago, but it seemed an age after everything that had happened.

"I think so. Some things are still a little hazy." His natural curiosity was getting the better of him.

"There's only one thing you need to remember." Jack held up one finger to emphasis his point. "Only one. _You_ weren't there." Daniel started to remind him that he'd been a little busy in his own reality at the time, but Jack continued without letting him speak. "Don't. You know what I mean. Their Daniel Jackson wasn't part of their stargate program." Daniel sighed.

"I'm _not him_, Jack. I've come to realize I probably couldn't do what he does. You can't compare us." Daniel realized where this was going. Jack was so enthralled with his Daniel that he couldn't see how different they were. How special his Daniel was. What Jack was seeing as something innate to his nature was really the result of Doctor Jackson having survived a hard life. The Daniel of this reality had developed a strength and resilience that he never could. That only came from overcoming adversity and Daniel had never faced real adversity until fairly recently. He wasn't doing such a good job of overcoming it, either.

"Yes! Yes, I can! Because I see in you the same things I see in him!" Jack walked a few steps away and then whirled back to face him. "When you first came through, you thought we were goolds, right?" Daniel nodded, a little ashamed of his initial reactions. "You stood there, unarmed, unprepared and _threatened_ Teal'c. I gotta tell you, that was _ vintage_ Daniel Jackson."

"And then I fainted five minutes later when I met Doctor Jackson." Another less than stellar memory.

"Yeah, well, you'd be amazed at how many people have swooned at his feet over the years." Daniel blinked in surprise at the comment. Then he started to chuckle and before long he was laughing so hard he slipped back down to the floor. This time, Jack joined him, like he had in his and Jonathan's suite. Daniel laughed until he felt tears in his eyes. He slowly tried to get control over himself as he wiped the moisture from his eyes.

"I must admit I wasn't expecting you to say that." Jack reached over and poked him in the shoulder. It was a very Jonathan gesture.

"Seemed like the right thing to say at the time." Daniel nodded, still chuckling a little. "Look, you're right about one thing, Daniel, like I said before, I don't know much about what you've been through, though I got a little taste of it." Daniel looked at the man sitting next to him and watched him twine his fingers together and clasp his hands in front of him. "But one thing I do know is that you are potentially the most important person on your planet." Jack turned his head to look into Daniel's eyes. All traces of mirth were gone and looking back at him was a soldier. A professional who'd dedicated his life to protecting his people, his planet from the evil that infested both of their universes. His stare was unnerving.

"I, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm nothing. I do my _duty_" Daniel wasn't sure the euphemism got through. "I _breed_. That's it." Daniel's mind was clear for the first time in possibly years. The revulsion he felt at that word was crystal clear and he couldn't look at the other man any more. He leaned his head back against the wall again and closed his eyes. "I thought, maybe, for once I could be useful, do something no one else could do. And," this was hard. He prided himself on not being like his selfish, spoiled peers, but if he was honest with himself, he was being very selfish. "And I wanted to take the only chance I'd ever get to go through the gate." Daniel sighed. "God, I'm no better than the empty-headed peacocks I've derided all my life. I still expect to get my way because of who my parents are."

"Oh, please, you may be a lot of things, but empty-headed isn't one of them." Daniel smiled a little. With his eyes closed, he could almost imagine it was Jonathan sitting next to him.

"Thanks. I think." Daniel wished he could just sit there in the dimly lit storeroom forever. There were no responsibilities, no one needing him to be something he wasn't, no façade to maintain. "I wish Mom were here." The old grief was still there, dulled and blunted with time, but he'd carry it with him always. He sighed again. He was almost forty years old, a husband three times over, a father eight times over, Earl of Cascadia and he wanted nothing more than a hug from his mother and to hear her tell him it was going to be okay. The man next to him was silent for a long moment.

"Yeah." Daniel nodded without looking to see if Jack saw him. "I guess no one ever really escapes that." Jack sounded as melancholy as Daniel felt and he realized Jack must have lost his mother at some point, too. It seemed odd to hear the soldier echoing his own loss. "Moms have a knack for making you feel better no matter what's wrong." Jack cleared his throat next to him. "Or kicking your butt. Whichever works." Daniel chuckled and looked at his friend. Jack was his friend. This wasn't Jack talking to someone who reminded him of his Daniel, no, Jack was talking to _him_. Somehow that made Daniel feel a little better. A little less like a pale imitation.

"Oh, yeah. Mom could be tough when she had to be. Kept Dad on his toes, that's for sure." He smiled at the memories of his parents together. They'd been so close. "I'm glad she didn't live to see this happen."

"It's going to be rough, but he'll get through it." Jack turned his head to look at Daniel and Jonathan's quirky grin flashed onto his face. "But hey, he's a Jackson, right? More stubborn than a whole pack of mules and probably giving Nirrti hell right now."

"I hope so." Jack was right about one thing; Daniel knew just how stubborn his father was. "You know more about this, this stuff, than I do. Do you think that maybe," he wasn't sure he was going to get the answer he wanted, "maybe Dad somehow, I don't know, influenced Nirrti to let me know it wasn't him?"

"I bet it was, we've seen it before, seen a host influence the goold." He knew Jack was just trying to make him feel better, but he appreciated the effort. "He's going to need you, you know."

"He's my father, Jack. I'll do whatever I can for him." And the longer he kept Jack sitting with him, the longer his father was being held captive in his own body. Daniel levered himself up off the floor and offered his hand to Jack, helping him up as the older man had helped him earlier. Once on his feet, Jack grimaced as he flexed his knees and headed for the door. He paused with his hand on the handle.

"It's a long walk back from the Hammer." Jack turned, a gleam in his eyes. "Lord Cascadia, as a foreign dignitary," Daniel winced inwardly as Jack causally tossed his own words at him, "I can't order you to accompany my team to the Hammer." Daniel stared at Jack, his mouth open in surprise. He felt his heart pound and hope began to grow. "But I can request it. I believe it would be in the best interests of the mission for you to come with us to help get your father back to the gate after," Jack seemed to flounder for a moment, "after we get the damned snake out of his head." Daniel smiled then. _That_ sounded more like the Jack he'd come to know. He composed his face and prepared to answer with the same formality.

"Colonel O'Neill," that still sounded odd to Daniel, "I'd be happy to accompany your team." Daniel couldn't hold his formal stance any longer. He closed the space between them and threw his arms around Jack in an enthusiastic hug. "Thank you!" He stepped back, his hands still on the other man's shoulders. "I can't tell you what this means to me!"

"You'll have to follow my orders out there, you know that, don't you? And we still have to get the general's approval." Daniel nodded emphatically. Jack rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I must be outta my mind." Daniel released him and they headed out into the corridor with Daniel still grinning like an idiot. He was going to be there when his father was freed. He was going through the stargate!

Daniel stood at the foot of the ramp leading to the stargate waiting for the others. He wore a pack, similar to the ones he'd worn before on expeditions, but it had been a while. They hadn't issued him a weapon, even though he'd assured them he knew how to use a handgun. Still, it felt good to be _going_ somewhere again. Major Carter stood nearby, talking quietly with Doctor Frasier who kept sending him threatening looks. Getting her permission had been more difficult than getting the general's and he had been less than pleased. It was only after Daniel had mentioned the possibility of trade between their realities that General Hammond had settled down. Major Carter's eyes had lit up at the suggestion and she'd immediately suggested that the schematics for Jonathan's high efficiency wind and hydro power plants could be worthwhile. As it would be next to impossible to transport large items through the mirror, intellectual property seemed to be the best options. His world would be able to acquire some small bits of equipment and their plans, things that might be able to be copied later. Doctor Frasier's consent came only after she placed herself on the team, both to watch over Daniel, whom she seemed to believe was teetering at death's door and to be ready to render aid to his father once he was freed from Nirrti. Daniel tried to focus on the adventure and not the reason for it. It was easier.

"Excited?" Major Carter and the petite doctor moved to his side.

"I can't believe it! Another planet! This," Daniel turned and waved at the gate. "This has been sitting in my garden for years, but we had no idea what it was for. Now," Daniel turned his excited face back to the two women. He'd gotten used to seeing women again, but not so used to it that he didn't still get a thrill from being so close to them. It wasn't sexual at all, just the joy of seeing what they'd lost but would now have again. Starting with his daughter, his and Jonathan's. He sobered a little. "I just wish Jonathan could be here with me."

"No way, Daniel." Doctor Frasier leveled a stern expression at him. She reminded him of Devon when he was putting his foot down about something. Daniel decided it must be a doctor thing. "It's bad enough that you're going, over my better judgment I might add. Jonathan's in no condition to be going anywhere but home."

"I know, Doctor, I wouldn't risk him for anything, but it feels strange for him not to be here." Daniel looked back at the gate. "We went all over the world together." He shrugged and looked back at the women. "I just wish he was here now."

"How did he take it when you told him?" Major Carter stood with her hands resting on the weapon dangling from a strap around her neck. She looked incredibly relaxed and incredibly dangerous at that moment.

"Um, I," _I chickened out, that's how._

"You didn't tell him, did you." Doctor Frasier looked amused.

"He was sleeping. I didn't want to wake him."

"Uh-huh. You mean you chickened out." Daniel still found it more than a little unsettling that these people could read him as well as they did. Maybe he was more like his counterpart than he thought. Jack certainly thought so and now Doctor Frasier seemed to read his mind.

"I prefer to think of it as being a thoughtful and caring husband." That certainly sounded better than admitting he didn't want to face Jonathan's anger. "Devon's going to stay with him while we're gone. He'll fill Jonathan in when he wakes up." Unless Devon decided to take Daniel's advice and just sedate the man for the duration. It was probably the safer option. Major Carter just snorted and turned the control room above them.

"Sergeant, any word from the Colonel?"

"Yes, ma'am. They're on their way." Jack and Teal'c were bringing his father from his holding cell. He'd spent very little time with the Jaffa. The man had made himself scarce since that first day. Daniel was alternately grateful and irritated. He'd like to have had the chance to learn about him now that he understood he wasn't the enemy. He'd like the opportunity to apologize for his initial reaction.

"Ready, kids?" All three of them turned to see Jack and Teal'c bringing Daniel's father into the gate room. His hands were bound in some sort of metal restraints and a peculiar collar-like contraption wrapped around his neck, forcing his head up with a gag of some sort covering his mouth. The entire thing looked to be made of the same metal as the hand restraints. The whole thing looked painful and Daniel grimaced.

"Is that really necessary?" No matter how much he told himself Nirrti was a danger to them, all he could _see_ was his father.

"Oh, yeah." Jack and Teal'c positioned their prisoner behind Daniel and the women. "Okay, dial it up!"

"Daniel," he turned away from the painful sight of his bound father and looked at Major Carter. "The restraints are made of a naquadah alloy. That's the same material the gate's made of. Not even a Goa'uld can break them. Remember, they've got to get through the labyrinth before they get to the Hammer." She put her hand on his arm. "It really is the safest option for all of them. If Nirrti got loose, they might have to shoot your father. Nirrti would keep him alive, but it would be very painful for him." He flashed her a quick smile before swallowing hard and looking down at the floor. They'd gone over it all at the briefing, but Daniel had been so excited by the prospect of gate travel that he hadn't let it sink in. "Don't worry. We'll take them off as soon as Nirrti's gone."

"Thank you." Daniel looked at her, then at Doctor Frasier and smiled. "I seem to be saying that a lot."

"Could be worse. You could be saying 'I'm sorry'." He looked at her quizzically, but she didn't explain further.

"Or, 'I'm fine', which usually means 'it's just an arterial rupture'." Doctor Frasier's dry comment elicited a laugh from everyone in the room. Even the soldiers stationed in the gate room behind them chuckled quietly.

"What's the hold up?" Daniel looked over his shoulder at Jack. He had his back to the gate, looking up at the control room as he spoke.

"Waiting on the general, Colonel. He should be here in a moment, sir." Jack waved to the man in the control room and turned a grumpy face to the others. "That's the military for you. Hurry up and wait." Anything Daniel might have said died as a grinding noise drew his attention back to the stargate. The inner ring had started to move. Steam rose dramatically from the huge clamps attached at various points around the ring. He couldn't help the bolt of fear that ran through him. The ring stopped with a decided clunk and he barely registered the sergeant's voice announcing that the first chevron had locked. Almost immediately it moved again and a second clunk was announced.

"Is it supposed to make that much noise?" What if something went wrong? What if they ended up somewhere else? What was he doing here?

"What?" Major Carter looked confused and studied the stargate as if looking for something wrong. "Oh, yeah, it does. I don't even notice it anymore." She gave him a reassuring smile and winked at the other woman.

"Relax Daniel. We do this all the time." Jack's voice settled his nerves a little as the gate continued to move and Daniel stared, mesmerized by the activity while the man in the control room continued to call out each time a chevron locked. Finally, a note of excitement crept into the voice from the control room as he called out the final 'locked' and then what looked like water erupted from the previously empty center of the ring with a loud kawoosh. Daniel staggered backward a step and hunched as if to avoid being hit. Major Carter put her hand on his shoulder.

"It's pretty impressive, isn't it?" He nodded dumbly and watched as the 'water' settled into the center of the ring. It looked like a pool standing on its side and all of Daniel's fear vanished. He was going through that. He remembered Major Carter's explanation, or at least he remembered parts of it. He was looking at the event horizon of a stable wormhole. They'd step through it and seconds later, they'd emerge on the other side. On another planet.

"SG-1, you have a go." General Hammond's voice came over the loud speaker, followed immediately by Jack's.

"Okay, Carter, to Oz." The blond woman slapped him on the shoulder and then headed up the ramp to the stargate. Daniel took a slow step, and then another. Doctor Frasier fell into step beside him, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. The major stood at the gate with the blue light from the open wormhole reflecting off of the metal pieces of her gear. She smiled at him and waved him to her. He and the doctor joined her at the stargate and he wondered what it felt like to touch that shimmering pool.

"Ready?" He looked at her and smiled as he nodded. "Go ahead, touch it. Everyone does their first time through." His smile turned into a grin and he ignored Jack's rude comment about newbies. He reached out a hand and touched the surface. The feeling was, literally, indescribable. His mind tried to find some way to interpret the sensation, but this wasn't something human perception had evolved to deal with. The nearest he could come up with was the absence of perception. Maybe cold. There was the slightest impression of a pull, as if the wormhole wanted to suck him into itself. "C'mon, Daniel, just follow me through. It's a piece of cake." With that, she turned and stepped into the pool and vanished with a faint plop. Daniel had the urge to run around and see if she was on the other side, but he knew better. He took a deep breath and felt something touch his arm. Looking down, he saw Doctor Frasier smiling up at him.

"C'mon, before the Colonel bellows again. Just watch yourself on the other side. The first few trips through are a bit rough." She urged him forward and together they stepped into the ring. Mind-numbing moments later, his foot completed the step he'd begun on Earth and he stumbled to his knees. Nausea gripped him and his body felt like he'd been caught out in a blizzard. Hands pulled him upright and he stumbled along as he was directed, trying desperately not to throw up.

"Sit here for a moment. Your stomach will settle." Major Carter's voice was calm and matter of fact. He blinked in the strong sunlight and swallowed again as his stomach finally settled with a last half-hearted gripe. Sunlight. Forest. A tall obelisk stood on the platform with the stargate they came through. Daniel stared around him with amazement. He was on another planet! His amazement faded to ironic amusement.

"It looks like, well, like home." His companions laughed.

"The colonel often complains of the same thing." Daniel turned around to watch for the rest of their party. At that moment, a beam of light shot from the top of the obelisk and touched the major, then left her and hit Daniel. It felt odd, but not threatening. They'd told him to expect it, but it was still something of a shock. It moved on and scanned the doctor then vanished. Major Carter spoke quickly into her radio.

"Sir, we're clear of the platform. Ready for you to come through." Hoof beats drew Daniel's attention to the other side of the clearing.

"Hail and well met, visitors from Midgard!" He stood as a woman swung down from the horse and approached them.

"Gairwyn!" The major greeted the woman like an old friend. She was, if he remembered correctly, the leader of these people. Before Gairwyn could respond a slight plopping sound brought his attention back to the stargate. Jack, Teal'c and his father stepped through. The man and Jaffa grabbed their now struggling prisoner and approached the obelisk. Before they reached it, the same light that had touched them, hit the three men. Daniel's stomach clinched as his father writhed under its influence. Major Carter grabbed his arm and prevented him from going to them. "Wait! It's going to take them into the labyrinth." The light brightened, engulfed the men and then it and they were gone. He turned quickly to the woman beside him.

"Dad!" Daniel couldn't help the panic in his voice. "You're sure they're all right?" No amount of warning could have prepared him for the reality of seeing three men disappear before his eyes.

"Major Carter? Daniel! It's good to see you again! You have brought an Ettin with you?" The newcomer greeted him as if he were the other Daniel. "Thor's Hammer will free his captive soon enough, just as it did Kendra." Gairwyn and the major embraced and then Gairwyn approached him, becoming uncertain as she got a good look at him. He knew he didn't look quite the same as the Daniel she knew. "Daniel?" Gairwyn looked to the major in confusion then back to him. "Are you well?" Daniel was at a loss. He barely understood the concept of alternate realities. He had no idea how to explain to this woman who, by the looks of her clothing and horse, weren't as technologically advanced as the people from either Earth.

"Gairwyn, this isn't Daniel." She stopped and Daniel realized she wasn't sure how to explain it, either. "Well, he _is_ Daniel, but just not the one you know."

"You are Daniel, yet not Daniel." She looked at him with dry amusement. He liked her on the spot. "This should be an interesting tale. Come, you can explain over an ale and then we'll go to meet your people when they emerge through Thor's Hammer."

"Thank you, Lady Gairwyn. We appreciate your hospitality." That earned him a surprised snort.

"Well met, Daniel yet not Daniel." She smiled as she spoke. "Gairwyn I am, but no lady, just mistress of this place while the men are away. But if you are friends with these, then you are friend to us." She clasped his forearm and he mirrored the gesture. A warrior's greeting, he noted. Gairwyn seemed to notice the third member of their party for the first time.

"Oh, and this is Doctor Janet Frasier." Major Carter introduced Doctor Frasier. "She's a healer from our world." Doctor Frasier stepped forward and offered her hand. Gairwyn bypassed the handshake; giving the petite doctor the same greeting she'd given him. He wondered if he'd have an opportunity to ask her about her culture in the short time they had. There was so much too learn and it was easier than worrying over what his father was going through at that moment.

"You seemed a little short for a warrior, Doctor Frasier."

"I prefer to think of myself as compact." Her comment elicited a full-bodied laugh from their hostess as she turned to lead them out of the clearing.

"Come." She grabbed her horse's reins and led the animal as she walked along side them. While Major Carter and Doctor Frasier tried to explain alternate realities to Gairwyn, Daniel kept looking around, trying to make himself believe he wasn't walking through the woods near his estate. His initial excitement about being on another planet faded to mild disappointment. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but not blue skies and bright sunshine and trees he could almost recognize. The worst of his guilt over not having Jonathan with him faded as well. At least Daniel could tell him he hadn't missed much. After he stumbled for the fifth time he started to pay more attention to path rather than the scenery. It was beautiful, but rather than feeling alien it was just making him feel homesick.

"So, how do you like your first alien planet?" Doctor Frasier dropped back to walk with him leaving Gairwyn and the major in the lead. The two women were deep in discussion with Major Carter explaining about his father and trying, in vain, it seemed to adequately explain alternate universes. Eventually, Gairwyn shrugged and said she'd ask someone named Bragi when he returned, must to Major Carter's relief. Daniel had just been grateful to the doctor for not hovering over him, but now it seemed it was time to pay the piper.

"It's," he didn't want to appear ungrateful for this opportunity, "nice." That sounded uninspired to say the least, but it just made the doctor grin.

"Not quite what you were expecting is it." He smiled and shook his head as he turned his attention back to the path.

"Don't feel too bad, a lot of planets look like this one. We figure the Ancients picked them precisely because they were similar to the worlds they were comfortable on." He nodded. Her logic seemed sound. They walked in silence for a while and Daniel got the impression she hadn't dropped back to speak with him so they could talk about the planet.

"I'm fine, Doctor."

"Of course you are. Why should I be concerned just because one of my patients is out roaming around on another planet even though he couldn't walk across the room without nearly passing out twenty-four hours ago." Her words stung. He'd hated the weakness that followed flushing the chemicals out of his system. He didn't appreciate having it thrown in his face.

"Then why did you approve my coming along?" Daniel regretted the sharpness of his words. He knew she was concerned, but she'd already made her position clear, even to the point of joining them.

"Because," Doctor Frasier's voice was gentle, which made Daniel feel even worse for his tone. "You and the colonel were persuasive. Your father's going to need someone he knows and trusts there when he's freed from Nirrti. Who better than his son?"

"I'm sorry, Doctor, Janet. I didn't mean to snap." He reached a hand to help her, as it was apparently her turn to stumble over a rough patch.

"Thanks." He released her arm, but she wasn't through with him yet. "Yes, you did mean it, Daniel, but I understand. You've been through the wringer the past couple of weeks, not to mention what you and your people have been through the last few years. I'd be shocked if you didn't snap at someone." She grinned at him, "I'm tough, I can take it." He returned her smile a little ruefully.

"That you are, Doctor, that you are." He turned his attention back to the surrounding forest. Doctor Frasier's presence was comforting because whether he'd admit to it or not, he was starting to tire. He'd been cooped up for far too long even before his illness came to a head.

They arrived at Gairwyn's village none too soon for him. Daniel discovered he was more interested in sitting down than in investigating what he thought of as an 'alien' Norse village. He declined the proffered ale but gratefully accepted the watered fruit juice offered in its stead. It was tart, but he could feel the sugar from the fruit refreshing him. It took little nagging for him to eat when that was offered as well. The grilled meat and dark bread tasted heavenly and Daniel, at least, ate with good appetite. The others nibbled at theirs while they waited to see if Gairwyn could locate enough horses to outfit them for their trip to the Hammer and back. Most of the men were still out 'a-Viking', though as Gairwyn explained they were looking for work in the larger towns rather than out raiding. The result was that most of the village's horses were away. Major Carter had explained that it had taken quite a while to get there the last time, but even though Gairwyn's people had discovered a more direct path with the aid of Bragi, who was apparently an alien from a race known as the Asgard, who'd been with them for a time, speed was of the essence. None of them wanted to risk entropic cascade failure for Daniel or the others and Doctor Frasier didn't want their Daniel returning through the mirror at all, if possible.

"Good news, friends." Gairwyn returned to them and sat next to Major Carter at the rough table. "We have visitors from a neighboring village and they offer their mounts for your journey." Daniel started to object out of habit, he didn't like people going out of their way for him. For some, favors came with price tags. It was a lesson he'd learned very young. "Fear not, Daniel, all rejoice the demise of an Ettin. To become even a small part of such a tale is worth much more than the loan of a few horses. So many have offered to act as guide that I have had to deny them all and will lead you myself." Daniel smiled at the thought that this would end up as some epic poem to be sung around campfires for generations. He drained his cup and wiped his fingers on his pants as he'd seen the other do. They rose and donned their packs then followed Gairwyn to their borrowed mounts.

As soon as Daniel saw Major Carter and Doctor Frasier's awkwardness in the saddle, he offered to lead the spare mounts, which necessitated him taking the last position. Gairwyn rode easily, as did he, but he suspected the two Air Force officers had never spent much time in a saddle. Major Carter objected to his taking the tail of the group, but Daniel took a bit more delight than perhaps he should have in reminding her that as the far better rider, he was in the best position to aid either of them should they have trouble with their mounts. He accepted his victory with slightly better grace than she accepted her defeat while Doctor Frasier did her best to hide her laughter. Gairwyn merely chuckled before leading them out of the village between the cheering populace who lined the trail to wish them well.

They rode for almost two hours before Gairwyn called a halt in a clearing. The only features of interest were the sound of a stream somewhere close at hand and what looked like the mouth of a cave. Daniel wasn't sure if he was disappointed not to see his father already waiting for him or glad that he'd be there when they emerged. He groaned as he dismounted. He might be an experienced rider, but it had been a while since he'd been in the saddle for any length of time. His legs and back let him know, in no uncertain terms, that they were not happy. However stiff he felt, it was nothing compared to how the major and the doctor were apparently suffering. He and Gairwyn led the horses to the stream while the two officers tried to find their feet. The short walk to the stream helped, but he was grateful to return and sit for a few minutes.

"How much longer should it take?" It had been close to four hours since the light whisked Jack, Teal'c and his father into the labyrinth that led to Thor's Hammer. Major Carter looked up from where she was sitting after having stretched to ease the kinks in her sore muscles.

"Last time it took longer than this, but they were fighting a goolded Unas along the way. Now they know the way out, but Nirrti's not going to make it easy." She took off her cap and ran a hand through her hair before replacing it. "If Teal'c has to carry him, it's going to slow them down." She shrugged. "As a friend of Daniel's once said, it'll take as long as it takes. The doorway will open when the time comes." She smiled reassuringly at him and leaned back against the wall of the cave. Daniel sighed in frustration and banged his head lightly against the cave wall. He couldn't see the doorway she mentioned, but he trusted her word. Gairwyn settled next him and patted his arm.

"Fear not, Daniel. Your father will be returned to you." He gave her a fleeting smile and patted her hand. "Tell me of your world. Major Carter tried to explain that you come from Midgard, but not the Midgard that is our ancient home. I do not understand how such things can be, but when one has spoken with gods, one can accept much." Her smile when she mentioned her 'gods' hinted that she used the word in jest. She raised a hand in the major's direction. "And yes, I know Thor is no god and Bragi not his bard, but they are powerful beings who protect and teach us. We still speak of them as we always have." She shook her head. "It will take many generations before all of my people see them as mere mortals."

"That must be difficult for you." Daniel could only imagine the turmoil such a revelation could cause.

"Less so, I think, than what your world has gone through." Daniel began telling her about his world, leaving out the loss of their women. He wasn't sure how to explain the full situation to her. From time to time, the major or the doctor would speak up and point out ways in which his Earth differed from theirs. Gairwyn was disturbed by the concept of a noble class. Apparently, Cimmerian civilization had grown more egalitarian than even their ancestors. They still had a king, but a council of elders drawn from each region selected him. That same council could depose him if he ever abused his position, but apparently that happened rarely. Kings were chosen from the general populace and were usually men considered to be the most wise and capable. She hinted that it didn't always turn out that way, but didn't elaborate.

Daniel found himself feeling a little defensive of his people's ways. On one hand, he agreed wholeheartedly that there were many nobles who had no business holding power of any kind. The potential, and sometimes the reality, for abuse was too great to maintain a strictly hereditary ruling class. On the other hand, governing required disciple, dedication and a level of education that few people of any class were willing to obtain. Noble families usually worked hard to ensure their heirs were prepared for the positions they'd been born into. Then, of course, there were those like Westridge who were completely useless.

"I do not understand how such a system could sustain itself, Daniel." Gairwyn shook her head. "I mean no disrespect, but do you consider yourself better than those you command?"

"Gairwyn, even our world still has a noble class in some countries." Doctor Frasier seemed to sense his disquiet and came to the defense of her patient; even though he knew her position on the subject was closer to Gairwyn's than his own. "There are abuses, but I can't say it's any worse than in our republic." Gairwyn nodded thoughtfully.

"I suppose there will always be men more interested in power than in serving their people. Still, it is unsettling to think that of places where such men are born into a position rather than having to earn it. Is there no way for a karl," she noticed the others' blank look at the term and explained, "a common man to rise if he is capable?" _Thank you for asking._ Daniel grinned.

"As a matter of fact, there is, after a fashion. The continent I'm from was colonized by my ancestors several hundred years ago," he didn't go into the difficulties with the Native Americans they'd found. At least the first inhabitants of his North America had been treated much better overall than those in this universe. "The land was rich, but rugged and many couldn't handle the hardships. Those who did were able to amass great fortunes through their own efforts. Many of those fortunes have been lost and regained over the centuries, with others rising along the way. This was how the Great Houses were founded. Without the law insisting that certain areas remain in noble hands, only those who could adequately manage it could retain it. Eventually, grants of nobility were given to those who had proven themselves most capable." He shrugged. "It may be simply perpetuating an outdated system," and the longer he was with these people, the more he began to believe it, "but it's the only one we have at the moment."

"So, Daniel, is your family of the new nobility?" Major Carter looked more intrigued than anything else. He was grateful to not see censure in her eyes. It had been bad enough growing up among those whose newly noble families had immediately sought marriages into older noble families. Jack's reaction to finding out there'd been no revolution had been enough to make him want to avoid the topic in general. It was a case of 'damned if you do and damned if you don't'.

"My paternal grandfather was the first Duke of the West." Daniel smiled thinking of his grandfather. The old man had been a little leery of the whole thing, but made sure his son wouldn't automatically be prey to the paupered noblewomen of the old country. "My grandfather was worried that his wealth would draw the daughters of poor old world nobles like flies. So, he put most of his fortune in trust and deeded the lands he had," Daniel cleared his throat, "failed to report clearly to my grandmother." The others looked a little lost by his explanation. "By putting the lands in her name, he kept them independent of his dukedom. By putting most of his money in trust, he kept it tied to the welfare of the people he was now in charge of. He kept enough available that my father would have been able to live comfortably, but had Dad not worked hard, which he did, it wouldn't have lasted for me to inherit." His audience grinned in appreciation and Gairwyn chuckled.

"He sounds like a wise man to mistrust power given rather than earned. But what of your grandmother's lands?"

"My maternal grandfather was an archeologist and something of an adventurer." Major Carter and Doctor Frasier exchanged a knowing look. Daniel figured Nick was the same in this universe. He needed to ask Daniel before going home. "At first Grandfather Jackson wasn't thrilled with the idea of Dad marrying Mom, but apparently she charmed him and managed to prove herself to him. Her brother, my uncle, owned a shipping line that he'd started from a single boat when he was fresh out of school. After I was born and my grandparents learned that my parents couldn't have any more children my grandparents willed the unencumbered properties to him with the understanding that if he were to die childless he'd leave them to me."

"A fine solution to the problem, I'd say!" Gairwyn slapped his shoulder, nearly knocking him over. "And your uncle, has he any children of his own?" Daniel sighed. He missed his cousins.

"He had two daughters, but they died a few years ago." Daniel hoped she didn't ask how they died. He didn't want to explain.

"A few years ago I would have said they are with Thor. Instead I will say they are with the gods, whoever the real gods may be." Any reply Daniel might have made to her condolences was cut off by a scream of agony from behind the back wall of the cave. He'd never heard his father scream, but there was no doubt in his mind who it was. Daniel stood as fast as sore muscles would let him and the others joined him.

"We've got to get in there!" He searched for the opening Major Carter had told him of, but found nothing. Major Carter looked torn, and then seemed to come to a decision. She went to stand near a handprint on the wall and gestured to Gairwyn.

"Kendra put her hand here and then said something to open the door." Daniel glared at her. He'd trusted her and she'd purposely led him to believe they couldn't open the door themselves. Gairwyn alternated her attention between the handprints and their argument. The major faced him with a glare of her own. "Daniel, what would you be doing right now if the door was already open?"

"I would've gone in there!" He shouted at her, his father's screams tearing at him.

"Exactly! That's why I didn't tell you! You'd've gone in there and maybe made yourself a target or a hostage. Nirrti wouldn't have hesitated to kill you just to make us suffer." Daniel felt himself pale.

"I can't remember the words! Kendra told me, but it was so long ago. Bragi warned us to let the door open of its own." Gairwyn looked anxiously at the wall that separated them from the Hammer.

"Your father would have had to live with the memory of _his_ hands killing you." Daniel closed his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. "I've been there, Daniel. I know what it's like to not know if a memory is mine or someone else's." Daniel's eyes snapped open in horror. Major Carter nodded. "I was lucky. I hosted a Tok'Ra and only for a short time, but it took me years to fully come to grips with it. I _know_ you. I know you'd die to protect your father, but I also know you wouldn't want to burden him with _that_ memory." He shook his head wishing he could shut out the screams.

"It shouldn't be much longer, Daniel. He's going to need you to be strong. Can you do that?" Doctor Frasier had her pack off and had already started pulling out her equipment when she spoke. Daniel nodded, unable to speak. He walked to the back wall and placed his hands on it. He leaned against it, willing the screams to stop and the door to open. Then they did and the silence was almost as terrifying. The wall under his hands vibrated and Daniel jerked away stepping back as the door finally opened. He started to rush in but halted when Major Carter grabbed his arm.

"Let me go in first. Just in case, Daniel. This is where _my_ expertise lies. " He nodded reluctantly, ignoring her attempt at humor. "Wait here, Janet, we'll bring him out." The major slid through the doorway, weapon up and paused for a moment. A moment too long for Daniel who tried in vain to see around her. Finally she dropped her weapon from its ready position and strode into the room on the other side. Daniel hurried through behind her and rushed to his father who lay on the ground near an archway, his clothes torn and bloody. He dropped to his knees and reached out to touch him. Daniel sighed in relief as his father grabbed his hand with his still manacled ones. He was shaking and moaning with his eyes closed. Teal'c was still removing the contraption that covered his father's face and neck but it seemed to Daniel he was moving in slow motion.

"Dad? Dad? Can you hear me?" His father's already desperate grip tightened. Daniel snapped at Teal'c. "Can't you go any faster?"

"Hey! Ease up. He's going as fast as he can." Jack's grip on his shoulder softened the impact of his words, but Daniel was beyond comforting.

"The kor shan'krev'lar mak was not designed to be easily removed, Lord Cascadia. I must unlock it carefully or risk harm to your father." Teal'c spoke calmly, his hands moving a small device from point to point on the restraint. "Usually, it was only removed after the prisoner's execution." Daniel wondered if that was supposed to reassure him.

"Teal'c knows what he's doing, doncha T." Jack's confidence calmed Daniel a little.

"Indeed, O'Neill, I dealt with these devices when I was still First Prime to Apophis. He used them to trap the symbiote in the host when one of his underlings earned his displeasure." Teal'c's normally unemotional voice revealed his distaste for the experience. Daniel had suspected that was the reason for it, but he guiltily remembered not wanting to ask.

"Gotta love those snakes." Jack's disgust was plain. Daniel used his free hand to check his father's body where his clothes were torn. An ugly red line like a healing scar ran across his side. He looked up at Jack in alarm. "Nirrti got away and we had to stop him. He was trying to bash my head in with a rock. That's what took us so long. We waited to let him heal your dad before we brought him through. No sense in him," he indicated Daniel's father, "having to suffer for Nirrti's mistakes." With one last touch of the device, the restraint opened along several previously invisible hinges. Daniel flipped the mouthpiece away from his father's face and stroked his cheek.

"Dad? You're safe. It's gone. You're free." Daniel was desperately trying to get a response from his father, but the older man just lay there, shaking and gasping. Teal'c made fast work of the manacles around his wrists and Daniel pulled his father into his arms. "It's okay, Dad, you're safe. I'm here." His father held onto him and buried his face in Daniel's neck, finally giving in to his sobs. He rocked him as he would have rocked one of his sons, murmuring nonsense words of comfort until he heard broken words that he could barely make out. Daniel ran his hand through is father's hair and pulled back a little, "I'm sorry, Dad I couldn't understand you. What is it? What do you need?"

"He wanted to kill you, Danny." His father hugged him, now, pulling Daniel to him like his life depended on it. "He wanted to punish me for fighting him. I would have seen my own hands choking you," a fresh wave of sobs cut off the rest of what he was saying, but Daniel didn't need to hear it. He held on as tightly as he could, rubbing his father's back as they held onto each other.

"But he didn't, Dad. You warned me. You found a way to protect me just like you always have." Daniel felt his own tears start. "I'm so proud of you." Daniel loosened his hold and pulled back enough to see his father's tear stained face. Daniel cupped his cheek and wiped it with his thumb. The man looked like he'd aged ten years and but it was his haunted expression that tore at Daniel's heart. But this was his father and at that moment he looked as beautiful to Daniel as his newborn daughter. "C'mon, Dad, I think I've had enough adventures for a while. Let's go home." The older man nodded wearily but made no attempt to rise. Daniel stood, his back and thighs protesting the action and reached down with a hand to help his father up. "There's someone I need to introduce you to."

* * *

  
Daniel rolled onto his back feeling the too hard mattress and the too small pillow. _Infirmary._ His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, which meant he'd been sleeping at least partly with the help of Janet's drug cabinet. He sighed a little as he took stock. Nothing hurt. He wondered why he was there. Memories rushed in as he woke more fully and his head started to clear. _Oh, yeah. That._ He squinted across the room at the sound of raised voices. It looked like a team had returned, but there were too many people and the one they were attempting to get into a bed wasn't in BDUs. Daniel reached for his glasses on the side table and put them on one handed while he fumbled the ever-present glass of water. The damn thing was never in easy reach. Finally finding it, he sat up, took a long drink, then replaced it and wrapped his arms around his knees. Teal'c walked in at that moment. If he'd been there before, Daniel wouldn't have had to put on his glasses to see who'd returned. Even without them, Teal'c was hard to miss. He started to call his team over, but decided to wait. They all looked a little busy. _I guess their Nirrti's dead now, too._ Daniel couldn't help feeling grim satisfaction at that. When had he gotten so bloodthirsty?

He felt the familiar pang of grief thinking about a host freed from captivity. At least they'd freed Skarra and now he was ascended. He missed his in-laws more than he ever let on. Only the knowledge that they were still out there made it easier. His Shaur'e was free, too, just not the way he'd hoped. There was still a chance for Sarah and while he hadn't been there, he'd had a small part in making it possible for the other Daniel to get his father back. He looked away from the group, staring down at his hands. He hadn't thought much about his interactions with Nirrti while she was masquerading as Lord Jackson. The old man's acceptance of him had meant so much, helped heal a wound he'd never realized he had. Now he knew it was meaningless. Nirrti had played him and Daniel was left with an oozing wound in his soul. He closed his eyes and lay back down. Suddenly, seeing his team was the last thing he wanted.

He still had to talk to Jack. He hadn't been the one to bring Daniel his dinner the night before after all. Sam had shown up, instead and told him Jack was tied up with the general and Lord Daniel. He'd managed to hide his moment of jealousy and blamed his sudden lack of appetite on continued fatigue. Daniel had eaten anyway, knowing he had to keep up appearances, but it had been like eating straw. Then, depending on what he learned from Jack, he'd have to face _him_. He wasn't sure which conversation he was dreading most, the one with Jack where their relationship could only end or the one with Lord Daniel. Daniel rolled to his side, putting his back to the rest of the ward. He hugged his pillow and allowed himself to remember the brief moments of happiness he'd shared with Jack. 'Us' _had_ been easy. He couldn't remember which of them had said that first, but it was such a _them_ turn of phrase. He smiled to himself rubbing the side of his face against the pillow. He pretended not to notice the dampness left on the case. He'd just slept too long and his eyes tended to water when he did that. Earlier he'd figured it out and he'd decided they'd had twenty-four hours as lovers. Not many memories to last a lifetime, but he'd take what he could get. He'd learned how fleeting happiness could be a long time ago. In many ways he'd been lucky in his life. He'd had two great loves. Some people were never loved like he'd been. He had a year and a day's worth of memories. That would be enough. It would have to be because there wouldn't be any more.

"Lord Jackson, I really must insist on examining you." Janet sounded mad. Daniel turned back over, pulling the pillow with him. He knew he was hiding behind it, but so far, no one was paying him any mind. Janet looked like she was limping. Daniel hoped she hadn't been hurt. He noticed Sam leaning against the wall, not looking any too chipper herself. Teal'c stood out of the way, watching. Jack was standing with his back to Daniel as if he didn't want to see him. _I don't blame him._ Having Jack walk away was going to be harder than Daniel had thought. If only there was a way to turn back the clock. He'd known they should have gone to bed the other night, but no, he'd been selfish and reached for more than he deserved and came out of it with less than he'd gone in with. Typical.

"Dad, please, let her take a look at you." The old man was sitting on a bed and Lord Daniel had his arm around his father's shoulders and a hand wrapped around his arm. Daniel couldn't tell if he was holding the man up or holding him down on the bed.

"Danny, turn me loose! I've got to talk to him!" Daniel's counterpart dropped his head and Daniel had the distinct feeling he was counting backwards in Greek or something.

"He's not going anywhere, Dad. You can talk to him when she's done." He looked up at his father. "Please, Dad. I nearly lost you. Humor me?" The old man turned angrily to his son.

"Danny Jackson stop this right now!" Daniel gasped and buried his face in the pillow. He felt his glassed digging into his face, but he didn't care. Those were almost the exact words the recreation of his father had said to him in the Gamekeeper's scenario. He had no idea what the last words his father had really said to him were. They'd been replaced in his memory by that angry order. _Damn it, damn it, damn it!_ He couldn't see his counterpart, but he heard him.

"Fine. Doctor Frasier, I assume that you require me to undergo an exam before I leave the infirmary? If there's someone available, I request that I be allowed to get to it so I can return to my family." Daniel dropped the pillow and angrily threw the blankets off of him. He was halfway across the infirmary before he realized he was out of bed. He skirted the group around the bed and closed in on Lord Daniel. Daniel grabbed him by his open BDU jacket and yanked him in the direction of Janet's office.

"We'll be right back, Janet. Mind if we use your office?" Without waiting for her to answer he swung his counterpart around and shoved him in the right direction. When it looked like he was going to turn back around, Daniel used his greater bulk and bulldozed him into the room. With a final shove that made the other man stumble, he followed him in and slammed the door behind them. Lord Daniel righted himself and faced him, his face a mask of fury.

"How dare you!" Before the other man could say anything else, Daniel shoved him into a chair and loomed over him.

"You goddamned arrogant prick!" Daniel yelled and he didn't care who heard him. "How can you talk to him like that? Do you have _any_ concept of what he's been through?" Daniel leaned over him, grasping the arms of the chair his alternate self was sitting in and got right up in his face. He'd learned this one from Jack. "Are you so self- centered that you can't think of anyone but yourself? He's been a prisoner in his own body for who knows how long and now _you_ want to tell him what to do? If he wants to wait a half an hour to talk to someone, _let_ him!" Daniel stood up and started to pace. He was so angry he was shaking. The blind arrogance of this man! "And then," Daniel stopped pacing and faced the man in the chair. His face was white and his mouth hung open in shock. "Did you even hear what you said to him? So you can return to your _family_?" Daniel threw one hand out, pointing to the ward. "That man _is_ your family! He's your _father_ you ungrateful _bastard_!" Lord Daniel's mouth snapped shut and his face flushed. He stood and approached Daniel steadily, his eyes narrowed.

"Yes, he is _my_ father. So tell me, _Doctor Jackson_ why is it all he's talked about for the past two hours, when I've been able to get him to speak at all, is needing to talk to _you_?" They stood toe to toe and since Daniel was barefoot he had to look up just slightly to meet his counterpart's furious gaze.

"W-what?" Daniel hadn't expected that at all. The tables had turned and now he was the prey.

"Oh, yes, couldn't wait to get back here to see _you_. Wouldn't talk to me. Told me to _'shut up, Danny'_ like I was still ten years old when I tried to tell him about his granddaughter. Oh, no, nothing would do but he get back here and talk to his _other_ son!" Lord Daniel jabbed Daniel in the chest. "Wasn't fucking Jose and Ian _enough_ for you? You have to try and take Dad, too?" Daniel backed away in shock. He didn't remember that. He thought he remembered raping Jack, but not Jose and Ian. Not them, too! He stopped when his back hit the closed door. He was panting and knew he was close to hyperventilating. Lord Daniel ripped his glasses of his face and rubbed his eyes. He bent over, hands on his knees and took some deep breaths. Daniel watched him feeling his knees buckle and Daniel slid down the door to sit on the floor with a thump. He wanted to say something, say he was sorry, say... there was nothing he could say.

"I d-don't," his mouth had taken over. Jack once told him he'd find himself blurting out things without knowing he was doing it. Now Daniel knew what he meant. "I-I don't remember that. I don't," amnesia was no excuse. He'd wronged this man and his consorts. That they might have been willing after a fashion, that it might be an actual crime didn't matter. Daniel buried his face in his hands. "Oh, god, oh, god, what have I done? What kind of a monster am I?" Why couldn't he remember that? Was it so unimportant to him? Was he so far gone that he could rape two men and not remember? This was no better than if he'd met them in a club and drugged them. They couldn't give consent. That was the definition of rape, sex without consent. Daniel jumped when he felt a hand grab his shoulder then release it. He swallowed hard. Whatever his counterpart wanted to do to him wouldn't be punishment enough. The hand shifted and Daniel braced for what would come next. Instead of the expected blow, he heard Lord Daniel slide down to the floor next to him. Daniel peeked out of his hands to see Lord Daniel sitting next to him with his head back against the door. He looked exhausted. Daniel relaxed a little figuring a beating wasn't on the program. Not immediately, anyway.

"You're not a monster, Daniel." He sounded tired, too. He sounded as soul weary as Daniel felt. "I seem to spend a lot of time sitting on the floor around here." Daniel tried to calm down and laid his own head against the door watching the man next to him. The change of subject seemed to be as welcome to Lord Daniel as it was to him.

"It's not much worse than the chairs around here." Lord Daniel's mouth quirked up in a travesty of a smile. It was about all Daniel's joke was worth. Joking. He was making jokes. Daniel turned away and closed his eyes. He remembered the 'Daniel' part of him contemplating suicide. He wouldn't do that, but he understood the feeling. He wished he could just disappear.

"What I've done is much worse." Daniel's eyes snapped open.

"What you've done?" What could this quiet man have possibly done in his life that would be worse than Daniel's crime?

"I married them. I gave them the illusion of family, of belonging, but they're just _ breeding stock_." Daniel blinked in confusion. Lord Daniel loved his husbands and they loved him. It was obvious whenever any of them spoke about the others. He'd _seen_ this Daniel with Jonathan. He'd never seen two people more in love with each other. His mind shied away from the obvious comparison. Lord Daniel shrugged. "Of course, that's all _I_ am. Breeding stock." He turned and looked at Daniel. "Jack tried to make me out to be some sort of paragon. He said I was 'potentially the most important person on your planet'. My planet." Lord Daniel waved a hand as if to explain the awkward sentence. Daniel just nodded. "Daniel," the man's voice became oddly gentle, especially given the circumstances, "he wasn't talking about me. He was talking about _you_." Lord Daniel's smile was sad, but genuine. "He's so enamored of you he can't see just how unique you are." He put a hand on Daniel's knee and squeezed. Enamored? Jack was enamored of him? That can't be right. Not after what happened. "How weird is that? You'd think that he'd be finding every fault I've got, but instead he's decided that since I look like you," the man eyed Daniel's well-muscled arms where they were exposed in the short sleeved scrub shirt. "Sorta look like you, that I must _be _ like you."

"Daniel." This was too much to take in. Daniel was still reeling over finding out about the other men. As much as he wished Jack could still love him, he couldn't deal with the possibility right then. Hope could be as devastating as despair.

"I'm jealous of you." Lord Daniel looked embarrassed.

"Really." _You're jealous of me?_

"You don't believe me."

"Uh, no. No, I don't. I've got nothing for you to be jealous of. Trust me." This was getting surreal. Even for the SGC where surreal was the norm. Daniel got an image of Dali's "Persistence of Memory" only with stargates instead of clocks draped everywhere.

"What?" The man's voice startled him.

"What?" Daniel hated it when he zoned out and someone was talking to him.

"What were you thinking?"

"Oh. Nothing important, just a, nothing important." He really didn't want to explain it. Dali may not have even existed in their world. Explaining Dali here was hard enough sometimes.

"Oh." That had been a conversation stopper. Which was probably just as well, because Lord Daniel was way off base.

"I'm jealous of you." _Did I say that out loud?_

"You? Really." Daniel wondered if the smile on his face looked like the one he'd seen earlier.

"You've got everything I've dreamed about since I was eight years old, Daniel." Daniel felt like he was falling apart. That had been a constant since this started. Old grief warred with newer grief. Guilt overlay everything. He felt so alone. More alone than he'd felt in years. Where was Oma when he needed her. He could go for ascending again at this point. He didn't remember much, but one thing he thought he remembered was never feeling quite alone. It was like he could feel the others out there, somewhere. He'd felt a little like he belonged, but he'd blown that, too, just like he'd blown every other relationship he'd ever had. Maybe he should have stayed with Chaka. They didn't communicate well enough for him to screw it up. An image of Chaka wearing Jack's clothes popped into his head. He shuddered. That was not a good image and he was drifting again.

"We're a helluva pair, aren't we?" Daniel was glad the other man didn't argue with him.

"Oh, yeah. I figure we've got one whole life between us." Lord Daniel grinned.

"Maybe we should take turns with it." Daniel ducked his head. According to Lord Daniel, they had taken turns with it.

"Danny, don't. It wasn't your fault. I _know_ what it's like and I was given some training to learn to deal with the effects. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you." The guilt he'd managed to push down while they joked about their respective messed up lives surged to the fore again.

"It was," Daniel didn't know how describe it. It had been hot and exciting and more than anything he'd loved it. Loved being in control. Loved dominating Jack and the others. For the first time in his life he'd felt like he was in total control of his life. No, he realized. Not the first time. He'd felt like he had when he'd been addicted to the sarcophagus. He'd felt like he had in Shifu's dream.

"Hot?" Daniel glanced at his counterpart.

"But now it's,"

"Terrifying? You feel guilty?" Lord Daniel spoke with certainty. "I know the feeling. That's how I feel every time." Lord Daniel looked down at the floor. "Jose came to me a few months ago to let me know he was ready again. If Ian hadn't miscarried the following day, he'd be pregnant right now." He shrugged. "He decided the timing would be cruel, so he asked if he could wait until Ian was ready again." Lord Daniel casually wiped his eyes. This was as difficult for him as it was for Daniel.

"So, they decide when to, um," Daniel raised his eyebrows and hoped his counterpart wouldn't make him say it.

"Yeah. Well, sorta. The law says they have to bear. I help them push the timing a bit so they're not constantly pregnant, giving birth or recovering from childbirth."

"How do you manage that, what with the," Daniel knew that expression. Whatever he did to protect them hurt him.

"I, um, most men in my class don't have to," Lord Daniel cleared his throat. "The theory is that since most of us are well off, we can afford many consorts and, well, in reality they're, we're the ones who made the laws and," the man ducked his head and rubbed his eyes. Daniel realized what he was having trouble saying. He'd wondered how this would work.

"You mean you normally wouldn't have to, um, help bearing men who don't have, um, ready access to," he couldn't bring himself to say it, either. Lord Daniel nodded and wrapped his arms around his knees, pulling them up to his chest with his head down. Daniel remembered sitting up in bed like that after the catastrophic night with Jack. "God. That's," _Rape._

"Yeah." The word was muffled, but his body language said it all. Daniel did the only thing he could think of. It's what he'd want but never ask for, never expect if it were he. He turned a little and pulled his counterpart into his arms and held him.

"I wonder if somewhere out there there's a Daniel Jackson with a normal life." The man in his arms started to shake at Daniel's comment and Daniel held him tighter. Then he realized he was laughing. Lord Daniel raised his head.

"Poor bastard's probably bored stiff." Lord Daniel sat back again.

"He probably looks forward to departmental meetings." Daniel started to chuckle.

"Most exciting thing that happens to him is when the irrigation system breaks down." Daniel sighed.

"Lucky guy." They spoke in unison, which set them both off laughing again. If there was a slightly hysterical twinge to it, neither man mentioned it.

"Jonathan says I don't laugh enough." Lord Daniel's voice held the same sadness Daniel felt.

"Jack tells me the same thing. Says I don't play nearly enough." Daniel shrugged. Few people understood how much fun his work was for him.

"From what little I know about your life, he's probably right." Daniel shrugged again. His childhood was old news for him. He'd survived it. After the first couple of years in foster care, it was all he'd expected. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it with this version of himself, though. A flash of the anger that drove him to drag the other man into this office resurfaced.

"I don't know what your father wants to talk to me about, but I can assure you I'm not trying to take him away from you." Embarrassment flooded Lord Daniel's face. "It wasn't easy to meet him," _Not that I actually have._ "but I _know_ my father died when I was a kid. That man out there," Daniel's voice softened as his anger faded, "that man is _ your_ father." He grabbed his counterpart's hand. "Treasure him, Daniel. Don't loose any moments you have left with him to anger or resentment. Treasure every moment because you never know when it'll be the last one. He loves you, I know he does. He's had a rough time of it and is probably a bit confused right now. Don't shut him out and _never_ part from him without telling him you love him." He had so many regrets. Maybe he could help keep this man from sharing them. Daniel tried to imagine what this other Daniel's life must have been like. He seemed more emotionally fragile than Daniel was. Perhaps he would have been the same without the walls he'd learned to build as a child. Daniel felt like he'd been on his own since his parents died.

"I'm sorry about that. I was outta line." The apology was spoken quietly, but sincerely.

"Yes, you were, but I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." Lord Daniel scowled for a moment then sighed.

"Not the only one, at least." Lord Daniel banged his head lightly against the door. "Except for my family, I think you've definitely drawn the better hand."

"Daniel, if I'd still had my parents, I doubt that I'd be here right now." Daniel had come to that realization on Abydos.

"What do you mean?"

"Catherine was waiting outside the hotel where I ruined my career. That was the last thing I had and I threw it away by telling the truth." Daniel was surprised at the bitterness he still felt at that. Some things never quite went away. Over the years some of the men in that audience had been approached to join the program, but as soon as they'd heard his name, they'd turned down the offers. While he wasn't overly interested in working with any of those _people_, he secretly wished for the opportunity to show at least one of them he'd been right. "If I'd had _anything_ to fall back on, I'd never have taken the plane ticket. But I was standing on the sidewalk in the rain with twenty-four dollars in my pocket and nowhere else to go."

"I can't imagine what that must have been like." Daniel could see his counterpart concentrating. Apparently trying to put himself in Daniel's place, but apparently failing. He was glad. It wasn't something he'd wish on anyone.

"Your life seems just as incredible to me." He smiled a little. Daniel wanted to ask him about things, but knew that would open the door for questions about his life. Questions he really didn't want to answer. Not that there were all that many horrible memories to bring up, but because he figured this other Daniel was building him up as some sort of superman for having grown up differently. Jack hadn't helped any. He wasn't anything special, just a survivor. A survivor like the man next to him. "We're not so different, you know, we've just survived different things."

"Mrs. Amberson would have disagreed with you, I think. She thought I was pretty useless for a long time." Daniel started at the name.

"Emma Amberson?" Every time he managed to get his mind around how different their lives had been something like this popped up.

"Emma? Um, maybe. Might have been Emmaline. She was my father's steward when I was a kid." Lord Daniel looked at him expectantly.

"Malcolm and Emma Amberson were my foster parents for a while. They were great." Seems he couldn't get away from talking about it after all. Daniel guessed it was better than what they should be talking about.

"I think her husband's name was Malcolm. He was steward before I was born. Died suddenly, I think. She took over for him and my Dad gave her the job. She was damned good at it." Lord Daniel grinned. "As different as our worlds are, it's still odd how our lives manage to intersect." Daniel nodded. He'd had to leave the Amberson's when Mr. Amberson dropped dead of a heart attack one evening. Someone knocked at the door they were leaning on.

"You guys about done in there?" Jack sounded impatient.

"In a minute!" Daniel called back and then cocked his head at his counterpart. "You ready?"

"I guess. God." He rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "I made a right fool of myself, didn't I." Daniel absently noted the British idiom then ruthlessly shut down his curiosity. This wasn't the time.

"Yeah, well, I think I'm still in the lead in that race." He was still a little embarrassed about his flashback. No one had mentioned it, aside from medical staff checking on his state of mind, but _he_ couldn't forget it. Daniel stood up and wished he was wearing shoes. His feet were cold. Lord Daniel stood as well and they faced each other, Daniel with his hand resting on the doorknob.

"Look, I need you to know that whatever, um, happened the other night, it wasn't your fault." Daniel looked away. Lord Daniel didn't know what he was talking about. Perhaps Jose and Ian would be able to shrug it off, but he doubted Jack would. Jack had never told him what had happened to him during the four months he'd been stuck in that Iraqi prison, but Daniel wasn't nearly as naïve as people seemed to think. "Daniel." Daniel looked back up at him. "He loves you. He loves you more now than before. Don't shut him out. Don't make his decision for him." Daniel swallowed hard. "You haven't spent as much time with Jonathan as I've spent with Jack. It's scary how alike they are. Jonathan can deal with not being in control when it's _his_ decision, but he gets crazy when someone takes the choice away from him." Daniel closed his eyes. Was this supposed to make him feel better? "Don't. I know what you're thinking, but you've got to remember, Nirrti," he paused, probably reliving the horror of finding out his father was host to their own personal Destroyer of Worlds. Lord Daniel took a deep breath and continued. "Nirrti took the choice from _both_ of you, but _you_ still have a choice. You can _choose_ Jack and if I ever find out you've hurt him by walking away, I'll come back through that mirror and kick your butt." Daniel looked his counterpart up and down and raised his eyebrows. "Okay, I'll bring Jose and have _him_ kick your butt." Daniel smiled in acknowledgment of Jose being a much more credible threat.

"Let's go before Jack decides he has to blow the door. He gets itchy if he can't blow things up once in a while." Lord Daniel chuckled.

"Jonathan seems to like demolition a little more than is strictly necessary, too." Daniel nodded as he opened the door and gestured for his companion to precede him. The crowd that had been gathered around Lord Jackson's bed had dispersed. Jack was leaning against the wall next to the door and Jonathan sat next to the bed his father-in-law was in. A privacy screen had been set up, blocking the bed from most of the rest of the ward. The older man was holding his granddaughter and appeared to be fighting off tears. Daniel caught a glimpse of his counterpart's face. A mix of emotions was displayed there, with disappointment predominating. A forced smile quickly took over and he approached the bed slowly. Daniel followed for a few steps, but stopped shy of joining them, leaving the family a little privacy.

"How ya doin'?" Jack spoke quietly at his side.

"I'm fine."

"I thought you were going to hit him, but I don't see any bruises." Daniel scowled at him, but purposely didn't check to see if it got the same reaction he'd noted the other day. He wasn't prepared to go there right then.

"Thought about it. Didn't."

"Rollercoaster?"

"Oh, yeah. Big, big rollercoaster."

"I know the feeling." How could they do this? How could they relate so normally? Daniel felt like everyone should be able to see what was between them, the good and the bad. How could they hide it so well? Daniel watched Lord Daniel go to stand behind his husband. He hesitantly put his hand on Jonathan's shoulder as if fearing he'd be rebuffed. Jonathan, glanced back at him with a warm smile and reached over to pat Lord Daniel's hand before turning back to watch Lord Jackson holding their child. Jack sounded so _ Jack_. Like nothing had changed. Daniel knew better. Everything had changed. "Think Frasier's going to let you out anytime soon?" Daniel looked at his one-time lover and shrugged.

"Your guess is as good as mine. I wanted to go home yesterday, but you know what she's like."

"And how would that be, Doctor Jackson?" Both men whipped around guiltily to find Doctor Frasier standing behind them.

"You sure you aren't Special Ops, Doc?" Daniel mustered a grin he didn't really feel.

"Caring and um, concerned about your patients' welfare, of course. What else would I have meant?" He beamed at her as she shook her head.

"Right. Well, since I'm so caring and concerned about my patients' welfare, I want you back in your bed right now." Doctor Bulldog was back.

"C'mon, Janet," time for a change of tactics, "I'm fine. Can't I go back to work?" He turned 'the eyes' on her, as Sam called it. It never really worked with Janet, but there was always a first time.

"Save it, Daniel. I just want to give you a final once over and then, if everything checks out, I'll release you." Now his smile was genuine, though he felt slightly off-kilter. "But you'll have to stay on base until your last blood work comes back." He'd been so sure she'd want to keep him longer.

"Oh. Thanks!" On base was fine. He dreaded seeing his inbox, but the sooner he tackled it, the sooner he'd be caught up. At least as caught up as he ever was. Loosing himself in his work sounded wonderful. Maybe he'd feel better able to deal with the mess of his personal life after spending some time knee deep in translations. With one last glance at the men from the other Earth, he turned to go back to his bed.

"Oh, Daniel." Jack called to him. He turned back and his heart nearly stopped at the tender smile on his lover's, no his friend's face. Ordinarily he would have replied, but he didn't trust his voice. Jack's smile faltered as he nodded toward Lord Jackson and the others. "Someone wants to speak to you." Daniel straightened up and nodded. He could do this. He'd think of the meeting with Nirrti as a dry run. He certainly didn't want to fall apart again. Daniel walked slowly to the empty side of the bed and waited. Lord Daniel watched him, his chin raised, but looking calm. He put his hand on his father's shoulder to get his attention away from the baby in his arms. She was sleeping peacefully. Daniel couldn't help but smile.

"Dad? Doctor Jackson's here." Lord Jackson looked up from his granddaughter's serene face and reached out a hand. Instinctively, Daniel took it and the old man squeezed tightly but didn't release him. He looked to his son for a moment.

"Son, take her, would you?" Lord Daniel extricated his daughter, who woke at the change of hands. She started to fuss and Lord Daniel jiggled her a little, talking softly to her until she yawned, stuck her thumb into her mouth with a little difficulty and then went back to sleep. Jonathan dragged a second chair around and Lord Daniel sat next to his husband, who put his arm around the younger man's shoulders and leaned in to kiss his cheek. Lord Daniel stiffened, then relaxed. Daniel wished he'd spoken to him about the other man's feelings about everything, but somehow, they'd ended up talking about _ his_ problems, instead. Maybe he'd be able to have a few words with him before they left. Daniel turned back to find Lord Jackson studying him intently.

"It's good to finally meet you, Lord Jackson." He didn't know this man. Had never met him. Nothing that had been said with the old man's mouth had come from him. Daniel kept repeating that to himself.

"We've met, young man." Daniel's heart pounded. That sounded exactly like his father.

"I don't think so, sir. I met Nirrti." Lord Jackson blinked hard and his hand nearly crushed Daniel's. "I'm sorry," _I'm screwing this up._ "That was rude. I just wanted you to know that I don't hold you to anything, um, anything that was said while you were," Daniel was starting to babble, he knew it, but couldn't seem to stop. "While you were, um," what _was_ the polite way of saying someone was a prisoner in their own body, "incapacitated." There. It was done. Lord Jackson snorted.

"I was there, Daniel. I know what happened." Daniel ducked his head, unable to look into that face any longer. Lord Daniel's father still gripped his hand. Even without the extra strength provided by a symbiote, he had a strong grip.

"I understand." He looked back up, making eye contact. "But I also understand you had no control over what was going on."

"Doesn't matter." Daniel blinked hard. The rollercoaster took another dip. He started to speak, but no sound emerged. Daniel cleared his throat and tried again. He looked at their clasped hands, unable to meet the penetrating gaze of the other man.

"It does to me." The quiet whisper was all he could manage.

"Danny," Daniel's head jerked up at the nickname said in the remembered gentle tone. "Yes, Nirrti was in control, but what she said," he brought his other hand up and covered his mouth as he closed his eyes. He didn't release Daniel, just took a moment to compose himself. Finally, he dropped his hand to his lap and opened his eyes again. "She took what I would have said and used it to manipulate you into trusting her. I tried, boy." Tears ran down freely the man's face. Daniel wanted to join him, but held it in. He needed to get a handle on his emotions. They'd been all over the place and he didn't like it. He couldn't decide if the old man was telling the truth or if he needed to believe that something of himself had been involved. "I tried to stop her, but I wasn't," his hand came up again as if he could use it to hold in the sob. "I wasn't strong enough. I'm so sorry, boy! I tried, but I couldn't stop her!" He pulled Daniel closer. "Can you ever forgive me?" Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel saw his counterpart pass his daughter to Jonathan before moving to sit on the other side of the bed and pulled his father into his arms.

"Dad, it's okay. No one blames you for Nirrti's actions. She's the guilty one and she's dead now." His father shook his head, but didn't pull out of his son's arms. Daniel was glad. Both men needed this.

"He's right, sir. There's nothing to forgive. It wasn't you. Just like it wasn't my wife who tried to kill me." That got both men's attention. "She was taken as host for Ammonet. A few years later, Ammonet tried to kill me." His grief had become bearable in the past four years, but it wasn't easy, especially after reliving it so recently as he regained his memories. Daniel thought Shaur'e would have approved of this, though. She would have wanted him to comfort someone else who'd survived what she hadn't. "I _knew_ Shau're would never hurt me. I _know_ she tried to stop her, but a symbiote's control is too strong."

"You told me your wife died." Lord Jackson sounded almost accusing.

"She did." Daniel found himself rubbing the old man's hand with his thumb. "She was killed to save my life." He looked between the two of them. "She's free now." He heard the challenge in his voice. He wanted them to accept his words and leave it alone. The hand in his squeezed a little.

"I wouldn't have wanted to live like that, either." Lord Jackson sat back against the raised bed and touched his son's face before turning back to Daniel. "I can't thank you all enough for what you've done." It seemed their heart to heart was over. Daniel was relieved.

"We didn't do anything you wouldn't have done had our positions been reversed." Lord Jackson lay against the bed with his eyes closed. He still held Daniel's hand and his other hand was gripping his son's arm. He didn't seem inclined to let either of them go. Lord Daniel's forehead was creased in thought.

"Please don't, Daniel. I don't think I could take the two of you arguing over alternate realities or universes or whatever." Jonathan spoke from where he sat holding his baby. He sounded tired, but there was a definite tease in his voice. Lord Daniel looked over his shoulder at him and then back to Daniel as he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Yes, dear." Lord Daniel quirked a grin in Daniel's direction and Lord Jackson opened his eyes in time to see it. He looked at Daniel.

"Jonathan sounds remarkably like my wife did. It's a little disturbing sometimes." Daniel paled at the thought. He frantically searched his memory for anything he could find that would disprove the old man's comparison. He looked at Jack and then back to Jonathan and finally to Lord Daniel who nodded a little ruefully.

"It is a little disturbing sometimes, but then Jonathan says I'm a lot like his mother, so I guess we're even." Daniel turned to see Jack who looked as startled as Daniel felt. This was just too weird.

"Caruthers is packing up a few gizmos Doc's giving him and then they're going to be heading home." Jack put his hand on Daniel's shoulder and patted him before sticking both hands in his pockets. Jack was still close enough that Daniel could feel his warmth. It was both comforting and maddening. Daniel wanted, he shut down that line of thought. It didn't matter what he wanted, only what Jack was willing to give. Daniel didn't know how he could be around Jack now and not lose his mind. But the thought of being apart hurt too much to contemplate. "If you're good, Daniel, maybe Doc'll let you get dressed and go down to see them off." Daniel wasn't sure he wanted to prolong his goodbyes that much. He gently disengaged his hand from Lord Jackson's.

"I guess I'd better get back and let Janet do her worst. In case she's not finished with me before you go," Daniel had no intention of seeing that mirror ever again if he could avoid it, "I want you to know it was good to meet you all." This was more awkward than he'd imagined. "I'll, I'll never forget you." At least he'd have the comfort of knowing there was at least one Daniel who had his O'Neill. He met his counterpart's eyes.

"Remember what I told you, Doctor Jackson." Daniel nodded and quirked an eyebrow at Jonathan as if to say the same held true from his perspective. He wouldn't need someone else to kick his counterpart's butt if he didn't work out whatever was going on between him and his husband. Lord Daniel shrugged and looked away.

"Good luck to you all." With that Daniel left and headed back to his own bed. His mind whirled with everything that had happened since they started the damned mirror exploration and at the moment, he didn't know what to make of it all. It was too close, too personal, too painful. He'd thought he needed to dive back into his work, but he was coming to realize that maybe what he really needed was to get away. Away from everything, and everyone, that reminded him of the past couple of weeks. He tossed his glasses on the side table and lay down on his bed with a sigh. Daniel threw his arm over his eyes and lay there feeling exposed and uncharacteristically fragile. He refused to hide under the covers again, though. That was too pathetic.

He had weeks, maybe months, of personal time accumulated. He'd take a few weeks and go somewhere. Somewhere warm and quiet where no one knew him. Somewhere he could hole up and lick his wounds before coming back and climbing on the rollercoaster again. The only question was if he should try and see Jack before he went or not. Daniel had half expected him to follow him when he left the others, but he didn't and that said more than words ever could. _Keep it together Daniel, just a little while longer._ As soon as Janet released him, he'd go see the general and arrange the time.

One day. They'd had one day. That's how Daniel would make it through this. One day at a time. But those days that stretched out before him were so empty. He wasn't sure he'd survive this time. Daniel wasn't sure he wanted to.

* * *

"Got it!" Jack jumped when Carter slammed a file folder down on his commissary table. She slid into the chair across from him, grinning like one of her reactors had just blinked and called her Mom. He considered looking interested, but after the leads to Daniel's whereabouts dried up over the past couple of months, very little interested him. They'd watched his bank accounts, his credit cards, everything. Daniel had made one large withdrawal from his bank the day Janet let him go home and hadn't been heard from since. The general had given him a leave of absence, but no one had expected him to actually _ leave_ leave. Automated payments kept his mortgage going. His cleaning service came in and basically just fed his fish. The lawn service kept his neighbors happy. They tracked down every automated payment, and there were a few Jack really wanted to hear about, but nothing that led them, led _him_ to Daniel.

He looked back down at his half eaten lunch. At first, Jack had been terrified that his lover was still somehow suffering from the aftereffects of the fertility drugs. Fear that the NID might have gotten wind of the situation and decided to do a little experimentation predominated, but even that led nowhere. Jack knew he was in serious trouble when he was disappointed to find the NID _didn't_ have a member of his team in custody. Then came the anger and resentment. He'd bitten the head off anyone who'd dared speak to him. Even Teal'c had started to avoid him. Jack's house took the brunt of his rage and frustration, but he'd finally stopped punching holes in his walls when he'd ended up cracking his wrist. After the pain came numbness and that's where he stayed. He went to work, did his job, went off world, but felt almost nothing except a dull ache where his heart used to be.

The one constant had been the heartbreak. Even his guilt over what he'd done had taken a backseat to that. He'd taken to sleeping in his spare room because his bedroom, even his sofa brought back too many too brief memories. He hadn't even had the heart to jerk off. The release that used to relieve stress would be too empty; a painful reminder of what he'd had and might not have again. Eventually, his libido retired from the field. Retirement from the Air Force was beginning to look better and better. The only reason he didn't is because he knew it would be a very short retirement and he wasn't quite ready for that final step. Somewhere deep in his soul there was a sliver of hope remaining and when Daniel did turn up, he'd grab him and never let him go. _Then_ he'd beat the shit out of him for walking out.

"Glad to hear it, Carter." Jack stirred his mashed potatoes. They'd gotten cold. He rarely noticed what went into his mouth anymore. He ate on base. At home, he took solace in a bottle of whatever was handy. The only thing he wouldn't touch was scotch. The last of the bottle they'd shared still sat on the coffee table. He'd finish it when this was over. Over one way or another, but not before.

"Sir? I thought you'd be," she sounded wary, "I don't know, maybe excited?" He finally looked up to see what the woman was yammering on about now.

"Carter, if you're happy, I'm happy, but you know I don't get excited over the same crap you do." Jack decided cold mash potatoes and whatever the hell the daily special was held more interest than Carter's latest discovery. Let her go find one of her geeks to rave to. Isn't that why they were there? He started digging a gravy pond in the casserole, but it wasn't the same now that the gravy was congealed.

"Sir," Jack knew that tone. It reminded him of his mother when she'd finally noticed the debris straggling out from under his bed in his 'clean' room. He sighed and put down his fork.

"I'm all ears, Carter. Wow me."

"Daniel used a credit card to buy gas in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico three days ago." Carter's voice impacted his ears, but his brain refused to resolve the sounds into words that had meaning.

"Excuse me?" She couldn't have said what he was finally beginning to think she'd said.

"Daniel was in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico," Jack cut her off having finally realized what she'd said the first time.

"Three days ago. Three _days_?" He was already striding across the commissary with Carter practically jogging to catch up. "Why the hell are we just hearing about this now?" He had to talk to the general. Jack was going after Daniel and he was going after him alone.

"Hard to say, sir. It's a small town. Maybe they had trouble with their connection with the bank." She caught up with him at the elevator and shrugged. Three days. Something about the town niggled at him.

"Carter, I've been to Truth or Consequences. There's not a whole lot there." Carter followed him into the elevator. Jack punched the button for level twenty-seven. This was too much of a coincidence. If Daniel wanted to stay lost, he could do it. He was probably one of the few men Jack knew who could have lost himself almost anywhere in the world and stayed that way. The man was a freaking genius and had a scary knack for making friends with the most unlikely people. People like hungry Unas. People like Jack. No, this was a deliberate act and, knowing Daniel, the town's name wasn't a coincidence, either.

"The name's a little eerie, don't you think, sir? It almost sounds like a threat." That was exactly what Jack was worried about. But there was something else he had to consider and that set his heart racing with fear. Even geniuses made mistakes and if Daniel's state of mind had deteriorated enough, he might have reached for the card out of habit. If that's the case, there was something else about Truth or Consequences. It was just about a hundred and twenty miles from El Paso. If he'd gone through El Paso three days ago, he could be halfway to Central America by now. Jack looked at Carter and then back to the elevator door but said nothing.

Teal'c and the general were waiting for them in the briefing room. No one sat down. "Colonel, Major, I've been in contact with Homeland Security. An agent Ramsey will meet you in El Paso. There's no sign of Doctor Jackson in Truth or Consequences and so far, there's no record of him crossing into Mexico, but we all know how resourceful he is. You three know him as well as he knows himself. Your flight leaves Peterson in an hour. Bring him home." The general wasn't interested in discussion. He'd been more pissed off than Jack had at Daniel's stunt. Only Jack knew that the Joint Chiefs had raked him over the coals for 'losing' their senior civilian consultant. If Daniel came back, he was going to have to do some serious sucking up. Jack ignored Carter's automatic response and Teal'c's grave nod. They turned and headed out. They'd all been ready for action for weeks. They finally had _something_ to do and no time or effort was going to be wasted on needless discussion. Jack, however, had a feeling border watching wasn't going to be of any use.

"Colonel? You've got a plane to catch." Jack nodded, but didn't leave.

"Yes, sir, I do, but not to El Paso."

"Would you care to explain that, _Colonel_?" Jack winced. The general only used that particular tone with lowlifes like Mayborne.

"Yes, sir!" So he did.

Jack caught up with Carter and Teal'c as they waited for him at the first checkpoint on level 11. "Carter! You're in command of this one. Get down there and keep that Ramsey character from doing any more damage than necessary. T, loom. It should keep him in line."

"Sir? You're not coming with us?" Jack shook his head.

"O'Neill, Daniel Jackson will be more amenable to returning if you are there to persuade him." Teal'c stared at Jack with his usual impenetrable expression. Was there a lightening around his eyes? Jack stared back and couldn't help but wonder if the perceptive Jaffa suspected more than he said.

"I think you two can handle it." Jack was itching to get on his way, but he wanted them gone, first. It might be his last duty to the Air Force and he wanted to make sure he did it right.

"You don't think he's heading for the border." Carter followed her bold statement with an apologetic "sir". Jack shrugged.

"I've got a hunch." He raised a finger to silence them. "_Just_ a hunch, but I need to check it out." He made shooing motions toward them. "Go, get down there. I could be wrong and if so, you're going to have to move fast. I'll catch up if my hunch doesn't pan out."

Jack sat in his rental car where 142 crossed 25 and watched the sunrise. He hadn't slept much the night before, but then he hadn't slept much since Daniel disappeared. Anticipation kept him from feeling his fatigue. The Land of Enchantment. Rolling hills and a scattering of scrub trees of some kind offered a panorama he didn't get to see often. Way too many planets looked like the Pacific Northwest. Even his own beloved Minnesota gave him the deep, quite woods he craved. Those were different, though. They were home.

Truth or Consequences, on the other hand, was just as boring as he'd remembered only touristier. He knew Daniel wasn't still there, but he was thorough and spent some time talking to people, checking out the kinds of places his friend might have gone to. He even checked out some he _knew_ Daniel would never have been caught dead in, just in case. A few people remembered the quiet handsome man who'd come through, but not where he'd gone. The New Mexico map was laid out on the seat next to him, a half dozen red circles indicating the places he thought Daniel might have gone to ground. He really hoped Omega wasn't the one. The connotation gave him the willies. But that was just in case his first choice didn't pan out and oh, how he hoped it did. When he'd seen the town's name on the map, he couldn't help feeling like he was on the right track. Truth or Consequences had been a message to _him_.

Daniel didn't reach out to people very often, but when he did, Jack had to be quick, or he'd miss it. The night in Jack's living room had been the exception but oh, what an exception. Jack's libido made its first appearance in weeks at the memory of their first night together. He suspected Daniel would revert to type after what happened to them in the other reality. If anything, he'd gotten downright cryptic, but Jack was well versed in Daniel-speak. He'd taken the name as a sign. Jack wasn't usually one to count on signs and portents, but this had all the earmarks of being painted by Daniel especially for him. Painted in great big red letters. He started the car and headed northwest on 142. The drive would have been about two hours by interstate, but he thought the shorter, though rougher road around the national forest would put him in the right frame of mind. He had some thinking to do before he got there.

Jack cruised through Pie Town, watching for the landmarks he'd gotten by telephone. He'd never even heard of this place. Which wasn't surprising since it wasn't much more than a wide spot in the road. Jack wondered how Daniel managed to find it. There was the café he'd heard about. He _had_ to take Daniel there before they left. They _would_ be leaving together. Or staying together. Before he left, he gave Hammond his letter of resignation and told him he'd call and let the general know if it was time. The general had given him a long, measuring look before he accepted the envelope. He never said a word, just nodded and put it in his desk. One way or another, he and Daniel would be together. Jack refused to entertain the thought of any other outcome.

The closer he'd gotten to his destination, the more certain he was that this was the place. It was too perfect. Too _them_ for it not to be and if Daniel was there, it was because he wanted Jack to find him. There was no other rational explanation. Once he'd started asking around about the place, one name had jumped out at him and that clinched it. He hadn't known it existed until he gotten on the phone with whazername from the Chamber of Commerce. Turns out she was also the librarian, so he took a chance and asked about Daniel. The Chamber of Commerce had been a surprise, but a library? The old biddy was either deaf or had fallen under his lover's spell because she never quite responded to his questions about Daniel. Probably a bit of both.

Jack parked the car and headed into Jackson Park on foot. He couldn't help but smile at the name on the sign. It was less a city park than a campground of sorts. A couple of worn tents looked like more or less permanent fixtures. A single small RV that had seen better days sat far from the road. As he approached, a familiar figured stepped out of it and leaned casually against the side, apparently watching his approach. Emotions flooded Jack. Love, desire, fear and finally, anger. He thought he'd worked through the anger by yelling and smashing things, but it resurged as he neared his target. Leaning against the RV, Daniel stiffened and Jack ground to a halt. What was he doing? He didn't want to be angry. Didn't want to scare Daniel off again. Where Jack wanted him was in his arms, in his bed, in his _life_ for as long as he drew breath. The thought was enough to get him half hard. The man had left him a trail of breadcrumbs; the last thing he wanted to do was kick him for it. Jack calmed down, reaching for the warm half-aroused glow he'd felt on the drive up here. As his mood came around he noticed Daniel started to relax as well. They were like a damned feedback loop. Each so attuned to the other that even twenty yards away one man's emotions influenced the other.

Jack approached in silence, drinking in the sight of his lover. Daniel wasn't looking too good at the moment, actually. He'd lost weight and the skin under his bloodshot eyes looked almost bruised from lack of sleep. Jack suspected he looked about the same. Daniel hadn't shaved for at least a couple of days and the sweats he wore looked like they could use a turn or two in a washing machine. As Jack got closer, Daniel's arms wrapped around his midsection and he seemed unable to look at Jack for more than brief moments at a time. Daniel-speak for 'this seemed like a good idea at the time, but what if I was wrong'. Finally, Jack was within arm's reach.

"Hey." Jack's mellow greeting had the desired effect and Daniel's mouth quirked up in a quick smile. Jack's libido liked that smile a lot. _Gotta take it slow, he's not ready._

"Hey. Um, so, you found me." He looked down at the ground and then back up, not raising his head completely. Daniel seemed to be feeling a little less secure about Jack's presence than he wanted Jack to believe. "I kinda thought you'd've figured it out a couple of days ago." He cleared his throat and gestured to the RV as he led Jack inside. "I'd just about decided no one was looking." Daniel's sad voice hit Jack like a sledgehammer. He followed his lover inside. Whatever it took to make Daniel happy again, Jack would do. He stepped up into the vehicle and closed the rickety door behind him. It was only a little warmer inside and the place smelled like it could do with a good airing out. Jack glanced around and noted with a pang the number of empty bottles littering the small space. Mostly wine, there were a couple of tequila bottles in the mix. It didn't have the look of long-term clutter. Jack's stomach twisted when he realized this was the result of Daniel believing no one cared enough to look for him. His lover was nervously gathering up the litter, his back mostly to Jack. Jack looked Daniel over a little more closely. Maybe wrapping himself up in his arms was less about comfort and a cold morning than the need to hide how badly he was trembling. Jack thought it might be from too much alcohol and not enough food. He was afraid it was from fear.

"Oh, we were looking, all right, but we didn't get the word until yesterday." Daniel stopped what he was doing and half turned to look at Jack. He started to speak, but just snapped him mouth shut instead and shook his head then went back to what he was doing. Jack could hear him muttering, but couldn't even tell what language it was in. "Is that why you left? To see if I'd follow you?" Jack's words came out more sharply than he'd intended. He really didn't like being manipulated and while there was something a little romantic about the situation, he'd be pissed as hell if Daniel had put them through hell just to see if Jack would come to him.

"What?" Daniel dropped the box he was holding as he whipped around and it crashed to the floor accompanied by the sound of breaking glass. "No! God, Jack, no! I wouldn't," Daniel closed the space between them, his eyes searching for something on Jack's face. "I wouldn't do that to you. This," he waved his hand toward the door, "this came to me about a week ago. I pulled in here and when I saw the name of the place I knew it was time to stop," he swallowed hard, "stop running." Daniel rested a tentative hand on Jack's cheek and smiled warmly when Jack turned his head enough to kiss his palm. "I missed you, Jack. I know I," Daniel's voice trailed off as Jack brought his hands up, skimming his lover's sides, and circling around to stroke his broad back. He pulled him into a tight embrace, holding him like his life depended on it. Jack had missed this. He was shocked at just how much he needed this. Jack breathed deeply, inhaling the other man's scent. He needed a shower, but at the moment Jack thought it the most wonderful smell in any universe. He closed his eyes and as the pain of the past weeks dropped away when Daniel wrapped his arms tightly around Jack's back and sighed into his neck. "I wanted to come home, guess I'd wanted to for a while, but I didn't know how." Jack rubbed his back and ran a hand into Daniel's hair.

"Danny, you can always come home to me." He said softly. Daniel's answer was a series of gentle kisses along his neck and jaw. Tension Jack hadn't realized he was still feeling flooded out of him. Daniel didn't hate him. Still wanted to be with him. "If you can't find your way, just leave me another trail of breadcrumbs." Daniel's laughter startled him. He pulled away enough to see his lover's face.

"Breadcrumbs, Jack? And here I thought it was more along the lines of a, well, a personals ad." He shook his head at Jack as he continued to chuckle.

"That's the trouble with you, Daniel, there's no romance in your soul." Daniel's chuckles died and Jack held his breath, fearing he'd put his foot in his mouth yet again. Daniel's expression grew serious. He raised a hand and gently traced Jack's face. "If you don't like the idea of breadcrumbs, then how about a love letter." Daniel's face flushed.

"I wanted to take care of you. I wanted to protect you but," Daniel dropped his hands to his sides and started to step back. Jack followed and held onto him.

"Danny, please, don't do this." Jack put a finger under Daniel's chin and tipped his head up so he could see his face. He looked ancient, haunted and it made Jack want to weep. "You didn't do anything wrong, love." Jack saw the denial, the guilt in his face. "You protected me, Daniel! You protected all of us. You got right up in Nirrti's face and distracted him long enough for me to get to the zat." Daniel scowled and Jack's libido went into overdrive.

"Don't patronize me, Jack!" Daniel angrily threw off Jack's hands. "I _raped_ you! You can't call it anything else! Sex without consent," Jack wasn't going to listen to any more of this.

"I was _there_, Daniel! You didn't do _anything_ I didn't want! I'd call that consent!" Jack had to get through to him. He'd tried words, but words had never been Jack's strong suit. Action was more his style. Daniel's anger fled, leaving him shaking.

"Sorry, sorry, I thought I was ready t-to see you again." Daniel backed away as far as he could go in the confined space. "Thought I'd dealt with it, but it's still here." Daniel paced in jerky steps, one fisted hand pounding on his chest. "I wanted to forget but it didn't help. I thought if I got away, I could, could work through it, y'know?" He stopped and stared earnestly at Jack, as if begging for understanding. "I can't even remember it all. Can't remember what I," Daniel was unraveling before his eyes. Jack wanted to go to him, but knew he had to wait. Daniel needed space. When he was ready for more, Jack would be there. "He told me. Told me what happened. Said I wanted to take them from him. Take _ him_, too." The distraught man took a step toward Jack. "But I didn't! I didn't want them! I can't even remember!" Daniel slammed his fist down on the small Formica table in the tiny kitchen. The RV shuddered with the impact and Daniel shuddered along with it. Now it was time.

"Danny!" It only took a few steps and then Jack had his arm around Daniel's shoulders. "You didn't do anything but kiss them!" Jack wasn't sure the other man was fully aware of his presence. "Danny, listen to me. I don't know what he told you. Okay, I can guess, but he didn't know what he was talking about. _Lord Daniel_ jumped to conclusions, but I never got the chance to set him straight until just before they left." This wasn't the time to go into the rest of it. "I _promise_ you, I'll tell you every single detail you can't remember, but can we do that another time?" He bent his lover's arm so he could get a look at Daniel's hand. "I don't think it's broken. Got any ice?"

"How can you stand to touch me, Jack?" Jack sighed. He leaned in and kissed the side of Daniel's bowed head then eased him down onto the bench seat at the table. Daniel sat hunched over resting his arms on the table. Jack found the miniscule refrigerator and found a sad looking ice tray in the freezer compartment. The cubes and a dishtowel made a serviceable ice pack that he then placed carefully on Daniel's hand.

"Because I love you, Danny." Daniel raised his head and stared into Jack's eyes. For the first time in a long time, Jack couldn't figure out what he was thinking. "Can't you get that through your head? I _love_ you. No doubts, no regrets, never leaving you." Jack sat across the table from him, silently cursing that the bench seats were too narrow for him to sit next to him. He decided then and there they were finding a motel for the night. Jack placed his hands over Daniel's, one holding the ice pack, the other gently stroking Daniel's free hand.

"How can you forgive me? I _hurt_ you!" Daniel's voice cracked, but he took a moment and seemed to regain control. "How can you ever trust me again?"

"Oh, come on, Daniel. This is the coolest part about working for the SGC." Daniel's forehead crinkled in apparent confusion. "It's the one place on the whole damn planet where 'aliens made me do it' is a viable excuse." Daniel blinked at him, and then he ducked his head. Jack watched him, a small smile on his face. He knew he was getting through to him. Jack's smile grew when Daniel snorted and looked back up at him, his head cocked to the side with a look of disbelief and the barest hint of a smile on his face.

"I can't believe you just said that." He turned away again, apparently fighting a grin. _That's it, Danny Boy, come back to me._

"Like you've never used it. You forget, I read your mission reports." Daniel waggled his head a moment, then gave him a quick nod to accept the accusation. A huge sigh escaped his lover and he finally turned the hand Jack held so he could wrap his fingers around it. Jack rubbed his thumb over Daniel's fingers feeling them begin to warm under his touch.

"Yeah. I just," he shrugged. When he spoke again, Jack had to listen closely to catch the barely audible whisper. "I wanted our first time to be beautiful, not," with another shrug he looked down at his battered hand, obviously avoiding Jack's eyes.

"Love," Daniel's head jerked up at the endearment, he looked startled. "As far as I'm concerned, our first time was at my house and it _was_ beautiful." Jack lifted the hand he held to his lips and kissed Daniel's fingers as Daniel had kissed his that night. "Beautiful and sexy and only the beginning." His lover's eyes filled, but no tears fell.

"I don't deserve you, Jack." Daniel's voice was hoarse with emotion and his hand trembled in Jack's.

"Yes you do. You're wonderful. You deserve only the best." Jack had learned long ago that if no one else would pander to his ego, he'd have to do it himself. Daniel flushed at the compliment. He pulled Jack's hand to him, turning it palm up and planted a tender kiss in Jack's palm. The light touch sent a bolt of electricity through Jack's arm and ending in his groin. Oh, yes, his libido was back on the job.

"I don't know if I'll be able to, um," his lover looked embarrassed, but Jack had already figured that sex between them might take a while.

"Danny, that doesn't matter to me." Jack stopped and thought about what he'd said. "Yes, it matters, but not enough to keep me away. When you're ready, it'll happen. Until then, I just need to be with you." Daniel pulled his bruised hand out from under Jack's and the ice pack and reached out to gently trace Jack's face. Jack closed his eyes, reveling in the light touch. He opened them again when Daniel began to speak.

"I love you, too, Jack. More than I ever thought I could love anyone again. If you still want me, I'm here. I just need you to know that I'd, um," he cleared his throat, "I'd understand if you didn't want to stay." Jack's heart nearly broke all over again at the pain in his lover's voice.

"Oh, Daniel. Undomesticated equines, love. Undomesticated equines could not remove me." Daniel's answering smile sent warmth flooding through Jack. He knew then they were going to be just fine. They had a rocky road ahead, but in the end, _us_ would always be easy.

* * *

  
Jonathan pushed his plate away and leaned back in his chair. It felt good to be able to eat again without worrying about the heartburn that haunted him with every child. He ran his hands over his belly thoroughly satisfied with his progress. Devon had released him to start doing calisthenics almost a month ago and he'd gone to it with more determination than ever before. Even though Jacob had used his healing thingy on him, Devon had wanted him to be careful. Jonathan had planned to go running with Jose today, but a storm had blown in around mid-day and put paid to that idea. He could still hear the rain lashing at the side of the house and the occasional roll of thunder shook the windows. Jose still teased him about being in competition with Jack, but Jonathan denied it. He'd just decided he needed to get into shape. He wasn't getting any younger and maybe he could avoid some of the back pain during his next pregnancies if he tightened his abdominal muscles. There was no way he was trying to compete with his counterpart. He looked at their table and sighed at Daniel's half-full plate and completely empty chair.

In the weeks since they'd returned from the other reality, Daniel had distanced himself from all three of them. He'd even been slowly pulling away from the boys. The only people he spent much time with were his father, Beecham and little Janet. The rest of the time he was locked in his study, but Jonathan didn't think he was doing much work. Mel had been staying with them, slowly recovering from his ordeal. Jonathan couldn't imagine what it must have been like and he really didn't want to. His father-in-law was little more than a ghost. Lately he seemed to be pulling out of his depression, but he spoke rarely, ate little and slept even less. Beecham's friend Jacob came to see him often. They'd sit in the garden, watch the boys play and sometimes they'd talk. Sometimes they just sat. Still, Mel seemed to be responding to him, so maybe the visits were worthwhile. Jacob and Selmak probably were the best suited to help the former host. Jonathan was still a little wary around Jacob. Everyone from both universes had assured him that he was a friend and ally, but hearing Selmak just reminded him of Nirrti. None of which helped him with his problem, their problem with Daniel.

For the first time in years Daniel had refused to meet with the men sent by the Reproductive Council. He hadn't been taking any of the new fertility drugs, either. At first, whenever Jonathan asked him about it, Daniel just shrugged and said he wasn't ready yet then changed the subject. Worst of all, he hadn't touched Jonathan outside of the occasional quick kiss or hug. By the time Jonathan healed from childbirth, they two of them were usually going at it like rabbits, but not this time. In the past week, Daniel had just shut down whenever he tried to bring it up. Jonathan sighed and pushed away from the table. He slowly approached the sofa where Daniel sat with their daughter. His husband held her close, staring into her sleeping face as if he'd never seen her before. At almost three months old, she was getting to be a big girl. Nearly eight pounds at birth she was up to a solid thirteen pounds. They still hadn't reported her existence yet. Mel had given them some information on two of Nirrti's lieutenants when they first got back. Jacob and his people took care of them, but neither Jonathan nor Daniel felt comfortable telling the world about Janet just yet. The records just showed a healthy baby boy named Devon.

"Hey." Jonathan spoke softly as he sat down next to his husband and daughter. Daniel gave him a quick smile before turning his attention back to the sleeping baby. Jonathan settled in next to them and eased his arm around Daniel's shoulders. These days, he was most approachable when he was with Janet, but Jonathan was getting tired of feeling like an intruder in his own home. Technically, it was Daniel's home, but this was the first time in almost fifteen years of partnership, almost ten years of actual marriage that he'd thought of it that way. He leaned his head against Daniel's and joined him in looking at their child. "She's beautiful, Danny. Thank you." Jonathan turned his head to kiss Daniel's cheek, but Daniel turned away leaving him kissing hair instead.

"I," Jonathan could barely hear him. "I can't, Jonathan. Please."

"Love," Daniel whipped his head around to stare at Jonathan.

"_Don't_ call me that!" His angry words hit Jonathan like a punch in the gut but it was Daniel's eyes that broke his heart. Janet woke at the sudden shout and started to cry. Jonathan couldn't move. The blue eyes that had looked at him with love, with passion, with shared fear and sorrow were shrouded with raw anguish and Jonathan had no idea what put it there. Daniel stood up and started to pace crooning to their child to soothe her back to sleep.

"Danny, we need to talk." Jonathan stayed where he was, his dinner now sitting in his stomach like a rock. Daniel stopped his pacing with his back to Jonathan, swaying slightly as he rocked Janet.

"Not yet. Please, just," his head dipped, "I need more time." Jonathan knew there wasn't anyone else. It's not like that would be a problem in their marriage. If Daniel wanted someone else, he could easily marry again. Jonathan and the others would understand and adjust, but this was something else. He started to speak, but found his mouth too dry to form words. He tried again and was surprised by how steady his voice was.

"Do you want me to move out?" He thought he was asking about moving out of the suite, but couldn't help the sudden fear that Daniel would think he meant out of the house entirely. He'd have to leave. Leave Daniel and Ian and Jose. Leave his sons, his daughter. He couldn't take them from the best life this fucked up world had to offer them. He'd end up being a name in a memo from the Reproductive Council. Jonathan had never had a panic attack in his life, but he decided there was a first time for everything. Daniel answered him without raising his head.

"I want you to do what _you_ want to do, Jonathan." That was not what Jonathan wanted to hear. Daniel had retreated again. Jonathan's heartache was swamped by a wave of anger. He wanted to grab the man and shake him or hit him or kiss the hell out of him. He didn't know which he wanted more and didn't care at the moment. Anything to get an honest reaction. None of those were possible while Daniel held Janet. A knock at the door gave him something else to take his anger out on. He strode to the entry and all but threw the door open. If it hadn't been for his ingrained desire to not wake a sleeping baby, he probably would have.

"Jonathan?" Ian stood outside with a surprised look on his face. "Are you all right?" Jonathan took a deep breath and shrugged.

"All right's a relative state." Ian didn't look convinced, but he did look determined. Jonathan took a closer look at him and realized he was dressed oddly for a quiet evening at home. The jeans he was wearing had been sitting in his closet for a few years, having gotten a little snug after Sean was born. The moss green sweater had been a birthday gift from Daniel. Their husband said it made Ian's gray eyes take on an exotic smoky green cast. He looked like he was going on a date.

"I need to see Daniel, is he still up?" _So that's what this is about._ Ordinarily, Jose would be with him. None of them liked to sleep alone any more and whenever Daniel spent a night with Jose or Ian, the other joined Jonathan. They never did anything but sleep and cuddle a little, but it was comforting. It was normal. Nothing was normal at the moment. It was probably just as well. Jonathan didn't think he'd be very good company. Besides, it was probably for the best if he got used to sleeping alone again. God knew he'd gotten enough practice lately.

"He is, but I'm not sure what good it'll do." Jonathan stepped back and let Ian in. Let someone else butt his head against the walls Daniel had erected. Jonathon closed the door behind him and turned back to the room. Daniel was sitting again and Jonathan noted that he'd taken Jonathan's spot. His mouth hardened. Apparently he had his answer now. There was no room for him here after all. If that's the way Daniel wanted it, then fine, but he'd have to come out and tell Jonathan to leave. He wasn't going to make this easy for him. If Daniel was willing to throw away fifteen years without a fight, he was going to have to at least _say_ it. Knowing that a baby would be in the way of what Ian had planned, Jonathan shoved his anger and resentment down and went to Daniel to get Janet.

"Ian's here to see you, Daniel. I'll go put Janet to bed before I turn in." Daniel looked up at him as he handed over Janet. His face was pale. Jonathan hardened what was left of his heart at the sight. Maybe after a good night's sleep he could dig down below his anger and find some patience and compassion to spend on Daniel, but for the moment, he needed all he had for himself. He gently settled his daughter in his arms and felt his blood pressure start to drop. There was something soothing about holding a baby, especially when she was his, born of his body. It was another of the little things he hadn't expected, but treasured beyond belief. He blinked away the moisture in his eyes and cleared his throat as he walked to the bedroom. "Good night, gentlemen. Guess I'll see you in the morning." He closed the door behind him and bent his head down to breathe in the soft scent of the baby in his arms. He'd had so many dreams about watching her grow up, but it looked like they'd remain nothing but dreams. Maybe he'd be able to keep in contact with Nick and Pat, they were old enough that it would be hard on them if he just vanished. It would probably be better for Janet to never know she was his. Jonathan gently laid her in her crib near the bed. He stroked her blond hair and smiled as she sighed and found her thumb. A few sucks and she lay with her mouth open and her now wet thumb resting on her cheek. He covered her with the bright pink blanket she'd been given on another world. "Papa loves you, baby girl." Jonathan wiped his eyes and went to get ready for bed.

Indistinct raised voices drew him from his dressing room. Jonathan threw on his robe headed angrily to the bedroom door. If Daniel wanted to shout at someone, he needed to do it somewhere else where it wouldn't disturb the baby. Before he got to the door, he heard the suite door slam shut. What could Daniel have possibly done to make _Ian_ mad enough to slam a door? Jonathan snapped. This was it; they were going to have it out. Tonight. Even if he had to throw him over his shoulder and carry him to Jose and Ian's suite. This, whatever this was, had gone on long enough. "Daniel!" He strode through the door and found Ian sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands. Jonathan's anger fled. "Ian?" He spoke softly as he kneeled down in front of the distraught man. "Ian, what happened?"

"He hates me, Jonathan." Ian raised his tear-stained face. "He told me if I wanted a divorce he wouldn't fight me." Jonathan rose, sat next to Ian and pulled him into his arms.

"Shh, hon, he doesn't hate you. He's got something going on in that head of his and it's tearing him up." It was easier to comfort Ian than it was to comfort himself.

"He was so cold. I've never seen him like that." Ian clung to him and Jonathan found himself taking as much comfort as he gave. Something was seriously wrong with their husband and he didn't know where to turn. His angry resolve to have it out with him vanished. Should he go to him? Should he try to talk to him? In the past whenever they'd argued, Jonathan had always known just how long to wait before approaching Daniel. Now it was like trying to approach a stranger. If Mel weren't in such bad shape, he'd go see if he could shed any light on the problem, but Mel was barely able to take care of himself at the moment. Jonathan stiffened.

"Jonathan?" Ian pulled back far enough to face him.

"Nothing." He didn't want to discuss his suspicion with Ian. He didn't want to _think_ about at all. The thought that they might have gone through all this only to have something else lingering from the tainted drugs was almost too much to bear, but it would explain a great deal. Jonathan ran his hand through Ian's hair and impulsively leaned forward and planted a kiss on the other man's forehead. "Look, why don't you call Jose and you two stay here with Janet. Go ahead and go to bed. I'll go track down Daniel and see if I can't talk some sense into him." Ian looked at him suspiciously.

"What are you going to do?" Jonathan thought back to what he'd wanted to do had Daniel not been holding Janet.

"Not sure, yet, but something will come to me." Jonathan gave him a little smile and Ian shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"If anyone can get through to him, I guess you can." The younger man chewed his lip and Jonathan's breath caught in his throat. The action was pure Daniel. "Just don't do anything that might damage _your_ relationship with him, Jonathan. Promise me." Jonathan wasn't sure anything could do more damage than had already been done, but he nodded.

"I'll be careful, Ian." Jonathan stood and Ian followed him. "Go on, call Jose." He gave Ian an appraising look. "You look nice, by the way." Ian shrugged.

"For all the good it did." He sighed and walked to the house phone near the fireplace. "I told him I was ready to try again." His hand fell heavily on the phone, but he didn't pick it up. "You can imagine what he said." Jonathan closed the distance between them and put his arms around him.

"Don't, Ian. It'll happen. You'll have another child." Jonathan rubbed the man's back a minute then pulled away, keeping his hands on his shoulders. "Maybe even a little sister for Janet." Ian's smile was hesitant, but then grew, as the thought seemed to take hold.

"A girl." He grinned up at the taller man. "I could have a girl next time." They were both talking like nothing had changed, but the fear lingered faintly in Ian's expression. Jonathan figured his face showed the same. "Go on, now. I'm going to go get dressed." The confrontation he feared required pants.

Jonathan approached the study door with trepidation. He'd checked Mel's room, the boys' rooms, the main library. He'd even looked out on the porch knowing how much Daniel liked to storm watch. He knew he'd been delaying. There was only one place Daniel would be. In his refuge. A refuge Jonathan was about to breach. There was no light showing under the door, but Daniel often worked with only a single lamp on. _And he wonders why his sight's so bad._ Jonathan tried the knob and, as he suspected, found it locked. He pulled his key out of his pocket and worked the lock, then went in, heart pounding. The room was dark, with only a little light spilling in from the house lights outside. As he stood there for a moment, his eyes began to adjust. The mirror stood under its shroud, a dark mass in the corner of the room. Daniel faced the tall windows overlooking the garden. The drapes were drawn back, the shutters open during a storm for the first time in years. He stood with his head down, his arms wrapped around himself. A bolt of lightning streaked across the sky and the light flickering ethereally over his husband. The stargate still stood in the garden. They'd be moving it soon, but the equipment took time to round up. It appeared and disappeared with the flashing light then vanished again behind the curtain of rain that was still pouring outside.

"Hey." Daniel didn't turn and his soft greeting was nearly lost in the windows rattle as thunder rumbled outside. It was an odd time of year for such wild weather, but Jonathan thought it suited them perfectly.

"Hey, yourself." Jonathan walked to stand near Daniel and looked at him, wishing there was more light, but needing to meet him on his husband's terms. If he were still sick, despite the assurances of all the doctors and even Jacob, who'd used his healing thing on him, too, none of this was his fault. Jonathan would do his best to keep his own anger and fear at bay while he worked out what was going on. He wished this could have come to a head while he was still pregnant. It was always easier for Jonathan to restrain his temper when he was pregnant. Daniel reached out and placed his hand against the glass. Even in the darkness, Jonathan could make out the strong, slender fingers splayed out against the window. He knew that hand, knew it to be an extension of Daniel's voice, expressing as much meaning as his words. Knew how gentle it could be soothing a baby, how strong it was keeping a toddler from a tumble down the stairs. Knew it's warm familiarity when he held it, kissed it. Knew the love it expressed when it touched him and stroked him and brought him indescribable pleasure. Daniel stepped closer to the window and rested his forehead on the glass, hiding his hand from Jonathan's sight.

"Do you love me, Jonathan?" Daniel sounded like a man standing on the edge of a precipice and not sure if he cared if it crumbled under his feet or not.

"Yes, Daniel. I do love you." Jonathan matched the softness of Daniel's voice. Instinct told him to tread carefully, but if Daniel fell, he'd either catch him or fall with him. All his earlier doubts were gone. Daniel wasn't pushing them away because he didn't want them anymore. He was pushing them away to save them. Jonathan just wasn't sure where the danger lay. Lightning flashed again and Jonathan saw shadows of the rain on Daniel's face. He followed Daniel's line of sight and realized he was staring at the stargate. "What are you seeing, love?" No anger this time at the endearment. Jonathan hoped that was a good sign.

"Nothing I can have." He rocked his head to one side so he could see Jonathan in the dim light. "Nothing I can have." Jonathan's hand twitched, but he forced himself not to reach out.

"I'm here, love. I'm not going anywhere." _Please god, I don't want to go._ "Not unless you send me away." There, it was out. The moments stretched into an eternity. Sweat broke out on Jonathan's face. He hadn't been this terrified of anything since discovering the bleeding that had heralded his miscarriage. Jonathan watched as confusion washed over Daniel's face.

"I could never send you away, Jonathan." Relief washed through Jonathan at his words. Daniel faced the garden again. "I should, but I'm not that strong. I," his voice broke then he cleared his throat, "I love you too much. I love all of you too much." Now Jonathan was confused.

"If you love us and we love you, I don't see the problem." _C'mon, Daniel, talk to me!_

"Jack told me about," Daniel squeezed his eyes shut. "About what, your," he choked the words out, "what the bearing men's drugs do. What mine did. How they, they interacted." _So that's what this is about._ Jonathan felt more sure of his ground now. It was time to pull his love away from the edge. He stepped into Daniel's personal space and his husband stiffened. He reminded Jonathan of a stray cat, wanting to be fed, wanting half-remembered affection, but terrified that getting too close would only end in pain. Jonathan ignored his husband's closed off body language and put his arm around Daniel's tense shoulders. "Jonathan, please."

Jonathan ignored his words feeling Daniel relaxing under his arm. He slowly turned the man and brought his other hand up to cup his cheek and raise Daniel's face to his own. He stroked his cheek and only then noticed it was wet. He enclosed his husband in his arms delighting in being able to pull him close for the first time since his belly had grown too large to make it possible. Jonathan's body responded as it usually did to his husband's presence. Daniel's arms made tentative contact with Jonathan's waist and soon were holding him tightly, almost desperately. Daniel laid his head on Jonathan's shoulder and tucked his face into his neck. Jonathan ran his hands over Daniel's back but resisted touching him below the waist. All things considered, he decided he shouldn't push it just yet. Instead he laid his cheek against Daniel's hair and breathed in his scent.

"I'm here, love, not goin' anywhere." Daniel nodded silently against his neck. Jonathan was hard as nails. He willed his arousal away. There was no sign that Daniel had reacted to him at all. "Talk to me, babe. You can't go on like this."

"I don't know what to do." _That makes two of us._

"Neither do I. I feel like you're slipping away and I don't know how to stop it." Jonathan hated making the admission, but he was floundering. Their relationship had been stormy on the surface, but underneath it had been rock solid from almost the moment they met. He didn't have any experience in dealing with this. "I'll never forget the first time I saw you."

"Oh, god." Jonathan felt the warmth of his husband's blush against his neck. Daniel always hated being reminded of that incident.

"You were standing there in the commons fighting with," Daniel raised his head.

"Discussing." Daniel corrected.

"Arguing."

"Debating." Jonathan planted a light kiss on Daniel's lips.

"If you insist. You were _debating_, at the top of your lungs," Daniel winced and looked away, "with three guys almost twice your age."

"They were jerks." A little of the old Daniel was starting to come to the surface.

"And?" Daniel sighed in defeat.

"And they were right and I was wrong. I misunderstood what Faraday said." He shrugged, though he was still embarrassed by the memory. "I can't believe you wanted to have anything to do with me after that."

"I'd never been as turned on as I was watching you lay into them. You were passionate." Jonathan had been visiting his cousin in Philadelphia. Rachel had been on the faculty at King George University, teaching Greek and Roman history. Daniel was finishing his PhD in linguistics. Jonathan had just been wandering around, waiting for her to finish her last class so they could go to lunch when he'd stumbled on the altercation. No matter how Daniel chose to remember it, Jonathan had always thought Daniel had been on the verge of slugging his opponent.

"And wrong." After all these years, Daniel was still kicking himself. Embarrassment was sometimes the hardest thing to let go of.

"You were a kid. Kids get it wrong sometimes."

"I was twenty-four, Jonathan, I should have known better. God. I was so arrogant. Not to mention scrawny." Jonathan could still see the twenty-four year old he'd fallen in love with in his mind. Tall, slender and graceful, he'd already made the sometimes difficult transition from gawky adolescent into manhood by then.

"You were beautiful. You _are_ the most beautiful man I've ever known." His husband seemed to ignore his words.

"I nearly didn't go to the reception that night because Faraday and his cronies would be there, too." With a shiver, Jonathan realized that there must be a universe where Daniel didn't go and they didn't meet. Or where Jonathan visited Rachel another week. Or where he wandered into a different part of the campus. He brought his thoughts back to his universe. The others didn't matter.

"I'm glad you went. I'm glad Rachel asked me to go with her. I'm glad your date had to leave early. I'm really glad I asked you to take a walk with me." Jonathan had been terrified. Daniel had been so obviously an aristocrat that he nearly didn't approach him at all, but a little voice inside had warned him that he'd regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't try.

"As I recall you asked me if I'd ever seen the gardens in the moonlight." Daniel smiled as he spoke, but the smile was sadly bittersweet.

"And as I recall you said you had." Daniel surprised him by laughing.

"I still can't believe I was so naïve I didn't know a pick up line when I heard one." Daniel laid his head on Jonathan's shoulder with a sigh. "I finally figured it out when told me you hadn't." Jonathan rubbed Daniel's back, kneading a little the way his husband liked.

"Would you like to show me the garden? I bet it's beautiful by moonlight." Daniel raised his head and looked out the windows. A bolt of lightning illuminated the garden. The rain was still falling hard and the puddles that formed earlier had run together to form a temporary pond. Thunder rattled the windows again as he turned back to Jonathan.

"Maybe we should save that for another night."

"Rain check?" Daniel smiled and shook his head. The smile didn't last, though.

"I don't know if I can do this, Jonathan."

"Do what, love?" _Talk to me, damnit!_

"I'm so ashamed. I can't even look at myself in the mirror."

"Sweetheart, what have _you_ got to be ashamed of?" Ian had finally told them what had happened while he and Daniel had been at the SGC. He and Jose had begged Daniel to forgive them and he'd just laughed and hugged them and said there was nothing to forgive. He'd already been shutting down by that point, but now that Jonathan thought about it, things did seem worsen afterward. If it hadn't been for Jack taking him aside before they came home and telling him about it, Jonathan would probably have been pissed as hell. His counterpart's explanation got through to him, though. He hadn't told Daniel, just let Ian and Jose know he knew and that they'd damn well better explain it to their husband or they'd answer to him.

"I'm a fraud, Jonathan!" Daniel pushed away from Jonathan and stumbled toward his desk in the near darkness. "I'm nothing but a breeding machine and I don't think I can live like that anymore!" Daniel thought _he_ was a breeding machine?

"You arrogant _fuck_!" Jonathan followed him, reaching for him in the dim light. When he found him, Jonathan grabbed Daniel by the shoulders and slammed him up against the bookcase. "How do you think _we_ feel! Did you pay _any_ attention to what I went through when they told me I'd been selected?" Daniel's eyes were huge, his face half shrouded in darkness. Jonathan slammed him against the bookshelves again, his anger well and truly in control. "Did you? Do you remember how close I came to putting a gun barrel in my mouth? Do you?" Daniel nodded slowly, his mouth was open, but no sound emerged. "Do you remember _why_ I didn't?"

"Yes." The word was choked and indistinct but Jonathan heard it well enough.

"Tell me! Say it!" Daniel closed his eyes and thumped his head back against the shelves. He stayed that way for a moment, breathing heavily. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"I said," he cleared his throat. "I told you, I told you I loved you and I'd be with you every step of the way." Lightning glittered off the tears running down Daniel's face. Jonathan's anger began to cool in the face of his husband's distress. "I told you you'd never have to face it alone, that I'd never leave you. That you'd never have to bear any man's child but mine." Daniel rubbed his eyes with one hand and Jonathan's grip on his shoulders eased. "I asked you to imagine a little boy with fair hair and your eyes." Daniel's words were a balm to Jonathan's soul, just as they'd been all those years ago. Jonathan wished he could see those shining blue eyes looking at him with the same love they'd held for him then.

"Nick got your blue eyes." Jonathan cupped Daniel's cheek and ran his thumb over the still wet skin.

"But he's got your beautiful smile." Daniel touched Jonathan's face, tracing his lips. Jonathan thought he might be smiling, as well, but it was too dark to tell for certain.

"I love you so much, Daniel." Daniel's hand dropped to Jonathan's chest and shoved him away.

"Don't _say_ that! You're addicted to me, Jonathan!" Daniel stalked away from him, back toward the windows. He turned, back lit by the outdoor lights, his face in complete shadow. "Addiction isn't love! It's nothing more than sick, twisted parody!" He started to pace along the windows in short, jerky almost manic steps. "It's need without desire! This isn't a _family_! We're nothing more than a demented portrait as if, if Hieronymus Bosch tried to copy a Van Eyck!" Jonathan stood by the bookshelves, stunned by Daniel's rejection. He thought he'd gotten through to him.

Daniel whirled and faced the windows again. Even in the shadows, Jonathan could tell he was breathing hard, his arms twitching. Suddenly, his husband turned and strode to his desk. He flicked the lamp on and grabbed the statue of Nirrti that had been sitting there for years. His face was a mask of rage and pain. Jonathan took an involuntary step backward. He didn't recognize this man. Even in the worst of his drug-induced rages, he'd never really frightened Jonathan, but now, Jonathan had to admit, he was afraid. Daniel hefted the statue, then he pulled his arm back and with a roar threw it against the wall with all his might. The statue hit the wall, breaking in to a dozen or more pieces that bounced off in all directions. One of the pieces smashed into a window breaking the glass, and letting the storm in. The wind howled and whistled through the broken glass. Leaves and dirt from the outside ledge splattered on the floor and rain drenched everything in its limited reach. Jonathan headed to the windows to see if he could get the shutters closed without going outside. He ripped off his shirt, shivering as the rain soaked him. Using the shirt to protect his hand, he knocked the loose glass out onto the ground and then reached out to catch the edge of the shutter. There were still large jagged pieces of glass in the casement, but the hole was large enough to work through if he was careful. He fought the wind for it, but finally managed to pull it to. The sudden silence was broken by Daniel's low anguished voice. Jonathan turned around to see Daniel on his knees quickly picking up the storm blown debris.

"No, no, no, not here." Daniel was half soaked himself, his hair flattened and dripping into his face on one side.

"Daniel?" Jonathan dropped to his knees next to the distraught man on the floor.

"Can't be happening, won't let it happen here." Jonathan put his hand on Daniel's back. His husband was trembling. "No, no, no, not here, not them. No,"

"Daniel." Jonathan spoke more firmly and took Daniel's dirty hands in his, pulling at him until he looked up. Daniel's face was more than pale, even his lips looked almost white. Only his eyes retained any color, blue irises surrounded by bloodshot whites. He looked terrified. "It's okay. I closed the shutter. The leaves can't get in." _That damned mirror!_

"No, no, the window's broken. It's broken now. I broke it." Jonathan stood and pulled Daniel with him. He put his arm around his waist and urged him closer to the desk. As soon as he could reach it, Jonathan snagged the trashcan and put it on the desk. Daniel kept looking at the remaining leaves on the floor, but went where he was urged.

"Here, lets put that trash where it belongs." Jonathan knew he was talking to Daniel like he was one of their boys, but he didn't know what else to do. Daniel seemed to be willing to do what he was told, so Jonathan told him. He helped him brush the wet mess off his hands as best he could then he pulled Daniel into his arms and kissed his cheek. His skin was cold. Jonathan took another look at him and noted the still pale skin and the dazed look in his eyes. He looked like he was in shock. "C'mon, love, lets get you into a nice warm shower and then into bed." Daniel didn't give him any sign that he'd heard, but he allowed himself to be led.

They were halfway up the stairs when Jonathan remembered their room was occupied. His first instinct was to take Daniel to Jose and Ian's suite, but then he had an idea. It might end up backfiring spectacularly, but he couldn't imagine how things could get much worse. Daniel didn't feel like they were a family, so maybe it was time to reinforce just how much they all meant to each other. Entering their bedroom, Jonathan could see the two men sleeping in their bed by the nightlight near Janet's crib. Daniel didn't seem to be aware of anything. He just stood shivering at Jonathan's side, his head resting on Jonathan's shoulder. Jonathan got them both into the shower. The warm water felt like heaven. Daniel finally stopped shivering, but he wasn't really with him. Jonathan got the impression he was still in his study, staring in horror at the stuff on the floor. Daniel had never spoke of how he felt about the image the mirror used to show of his study in another universe. They'd discussed it a little, but only in terms of the mirror's function. Jonathan and the others weren't fools. They'd all seen how it affected their husband. Now, after too many weeks of broken sleep and stress brought on by emotional turmoil it was too much. What he needed was a good night's sleep and the reassurance that his husbands loved him for himself, not because of some chemically induced attraction or because he kept them off the council memos.

Jonathan got them both dried and dressed in their nightclothes. He continued to speak softly and calmly, telling Daniel what he was doing and how much Jonathan loved him. Once a while, it seemed his husband heard him, but he never said a word. Finally, Jonathan led him to the bed. He pulled the covers down on the side closest to Janet's crib and urged Daniel to sit. Jonathan put one knee on the bed and leaned over to shake Ian awake. "Ian, scoot over. Daniel and I are going to join you." Ian blinked at him in obvious confusion.

"J'n'than?"

"Yeah, it's us, just poke Jose and you guys move over some. You're takin' up the whole bed." Ian nudged Jose who muttered, but moved over some. Ian followed him and Jonathan backed off the bed then turned back to Daniel. "C'mon, love, time for bed." Daniel nodded, pulled his legs up and slid them under the covers. Jonathan urged him to move closer to Ian and then climbed in after him. The bed was huge, but it was a tight fit for the four of them. If Jonathan's plan was going to succeed, they'd need to get a bigger bed. Jonathan pulled the covers up and saw Daniel staring at Ian. Daniel reached up and gently touched his youngest husband's face. Ian covered Daniel's hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss. Jonathan cuddled up to Daniel and draped his arm over his love's waist. "See, love, we're all here. The boys are sleeping in their beds. Janet's sleeping in her crib and we're all here with you. Nothing's going to happen to us. There's nothing to be afraid of." Jonathan nuzzled Daniel's neck and planted a kiss on his shoulder.

"Jonathan, what's going on?" Ian still had Daniel's hand in his and Jonathan could feel Daniel finally relaxing.

"A little accident in Daniel's study. One of the windows broke."

"I broke it." Daniel's body stiffened as he spoke. "Gotta clean it up. Gotta get the leaves out." He started to sit up, but Jonathan and Ian prevented him.

"It's late, Daniel, you need to sleep, you can clean it up in the morning." Ian kissed his hand again.

"I can clean it up?" Suddenly, the last piece of the puzzle fell into place.

"Yes, love, Ian said you can clean it up, but tomorrow." Jonathan could see that Ian was about to object. He shook his head at the other man and hoped he could see it in the dim light. Either he saw Jonathan's headshake, or he put the pieces together himself.

"Of course, you can. But please, stay with us, now. We miss you."

"You want me with you?" There was wonder in Daniel's voice. Jonathan hugged him as tightly as he could without cutting off the man's air supply.

"Si, mi amor, we miss you very much." Jose's sleep deepened voice rumbled from the far side of the bed. "Stay with us tonight."

"I'd like that." Daniel sighed and closed his eyes, his hand still clasped in Ian's. Jonathan rubbed Daniel's stomach gently and eased his arm under his husband's neck, tucking it finally under the pillow Ian was using. As Daniel relaxed in his arms, Jonathan eased himself down to his own pillow and started to drift off as well. He was exhausted. He dimly heard Jose pick up the phone and leave a message for Beecham to leave the mess in Daniel's study alone. The bed shifted as Jose settled back down, mirroring Jonathan's position behind Ian his hand coming to rest on Daniel's hip.

"Ian?" If Jose was going to talk all night, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Hummm?" Ian sounded like he was already half asleep. Daniel wiggled sleepily in Jonathan's arms then settled again.

"We're gonna need a bigger bed." Jonathan turned his face into his pillow to stifle his giggles. From the sounds on the other side of Daniel, it seemed the others were having the same problem. Only Daniel was quiet, having finally succumbed to the sleep he so desperately needed now that he felt safe and loved. And Jonathan finally understood the root of Daniel's problem. An idea started to bloom in his mind. He smiled as he rested his cheek against Daniel's damp hair. Their husband needed something to do. Something that needed his mind, his talents not just his body. Something he could sink his teeth into. Something larger than life. Jonathan thought he just might have come up with the right project to fill the bill. He'd have to contact Jacob and talk to him. Jack had suggested they speak to the Tok'ra about helping them secure their gate. Maybe he'd talk to him about doing a little more than just securing it. Their husband needed a project, something bigger, more demanding than breeding horses for transportation or improving crop yields. Did Jonathan have a project for Daniel. For all he knew, Daniel had already been thinking about it. If he had or not, Jonathan would make sure it happened. He closed his eyes and his last thought before sleep claimed him was that their screwed up little world was about to get a whole lot bigger. Daniel had given Jonathan the world. The least Jonathan could do was give him the universe.

The End


End file.
